The Misfit Chronicles
by Red Witch
Summary: Fic #300! X-Men Evo/GI Joe crossover! What happens to the former members of the Brotherhood after 'Parallel Lives? Definitely not your average mutants on a military base fic! R&R the complete fic and see what all the insanity is about!
1. Left Behind

****

I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters or GI Joe characters. Well here it is, the sequel to Parallel Lives and third in the Ronin Toad series! For those who have no clue, this is an alternate universe fic. (Duh!) For the rest of you who are familiar with Ronin Toad and Parallel Lives, here's the life of the former members of the Brotherhood as they are rescued by the Joes. Of course there will be plenty of humor, action, and insanity, but it's going to start off with a lot of angst and hurt/comfort. Needless to say this is not your average mutants being held at a military base fic! Well without further ado here are….

**The Misfit Chronicles**

**Chapter One: Left Behind**

General Hawk scanned the wreckage of what was left of Asteroid M. Already there were Joes on the scene taking samples of the wreckage and preparing them for analysis. "No sign of Magneto or his flunkies huh?" He asked Beach Head, his fourth in command. 

"Not a trace of that maniac," Beach Head told him. "I just called the Pentagon. "They're going to send a team of scientists up here ASAP." 

"Good. Well nothing but the cleanup and the paperwork," Hawk sighed. "All's well that ends well."

"There's only one question," Beach Head asked. "What do we do with them?" 

He pointed to four mutants on the side. Two of them were unconscious and on stretchers. The other two were standing close together, covered with blankets, shivering against the cold. They looked lost and afraid.

Hawk looked at them and frowned as he deliberated what to do next. "We can't leave them that's for sure." 

"We could turn them over to the Pentagon," Beach Head said. 

"Are you crazy?" Hawk looked at him. "Forget I asked that. We'll take them back to the Pit. For now it's our best bet until we know exactly what we are dealing with." 

"Why do I have the feeling these mutants are also going to be staying at the Pit for an extended period of time?" Beach Head groaned. "**He's **bad enough!" He pointed to a smaller mutant sound asleep in another Joe's arms.

"Toad isn't that bad," Hawk sighed. "Who knows, maybe these guys need a second chance as well? How much more trouble could they be?" 

************************************************************************

Lance shivered as he surveyed the scene around him. _Funny, only a few days ago I was roasting to death out in the desert and now here I am freezing my butt off, _He thought. _Then again nothing makes sense anymore. Some savior for mutants Magneto turned out to be! He experiments on his own people! Why didn't I leave when I had the chance? Why didn't any of us leave when we had the chance? Now it's too late. For all of us. _

He couldn't stop looking at Todd. He was peacefully sleeping in Roadblock's arms. The huge Joe held him with such care and tenderness unlike anything Lance had ever seen before. It puzzled him to see a soldier being so kind and compassionate. 

_I can't figure these guys out. Why would a soldier be so kind to a mutant? They're just going to use us for experiments or as weapons anyway. So why is he so worried about what happens to Toad? What did they do to Toad anyway? We were all goners, gonna be blown to smithereens then all of the sudden Toad puts on a light show of some kind and saves all our hides. And they don't want him to know what's going on? Why don't they want him to know that he has that kind of power?_

Lance held his head. He was getting a sharp headache. _Probably so they can control him better. Yeah, that's gotta be it. It's the only reason that makes sense. For his own good my butt! It's for their own good! They're going to use us too. And there's not a thing we can do about it. Where the hell are we gonna go? Not even the X-Geeks would take us in! Stupid jerks! Stupid Magneto! Everything's ruined because of him! It's all his fault! _

"Lance?" Fred asked quietly. "Are you okay?" 

"Stupid Magneto," Lance muttered, wincing in pain. "It's all his fault. It's all his fault." 

"Lance what are they gonna do with us?" Fred asked. "Lance?"

Lance was visibly shaking now, his forehead covered in sweat. "Stupid, stupid, stupid…" He muttered to himself. "It's all his…AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!" Lance dropped to the ground, clutching his head. The ground started shaking. 

"What the…?" Hawk looked over and saw Lance writhing on the ground. 

"What is he doing?" Beach Head screamed, trying to stay on his feet. "Is he trying to escape?"

"I don't think so," Hawk said. 

Lance screamed in agony. "STOP IT!" He shouted. "SOMEBODY MAKE IT STOP!" 

"Knock it off with the tremors man!" Fred screamed. 

"I CAN'T!" Lance shouted, tears falling from his face. "MAKE IT STOP! IT HURTS! IT HURTS!" 

Lifeline the medic ran towards him. "I was afraid of this," He said grabbing the boy. "He's having an attack!" 

"Well do something before we all get killed!" Beach Head screamed as the earth opened up in cracks all around them."

"Hold him!" Lifeline ordered Fred. "Now!" Fred complied and watched in amazement as the medic took his hands to Lance's head. "I hope this works." His hands started to glow softly. 

Lance twitched violently. After a few seconds the tremors subsided, but he still kept screaming. Then his eyes rolled back in his head and he passed out. Still the medic kept his hands on him. "Take it easy son," Lifeline said. "Just go to sleep now. You need to rest."

"You…You're a mutant too?" Fred yelped in shock.

"Not really," Lifeline explained. "I just have healing abilities, but no X-Gene."

"How can you have powers but not be a mutant?" Fred asked.

"To be honest," Lifeline sighed. "I haven't a clue. But I do. There…" He pulled away. "He should rest now. It's the drugs Magneto gave him. They caused him to have an attack. He should be okay. Until the next time."

"Next time?" Hawk blinked. 

"You mean he can have another attack like that?" Beach Head asked.

"Maybe even worse," Lifeline sighed. 

"Worse?" Roadblock puzzled. "Oh lord…" 

"We'd better get these kids back to base before the scientists show up," Hawk said. "Okay if anybody asks, we had an earthquake due to the destruction of Asteroid M hitting the ground. Remember that people!" 

"Okay we'll remember," Dial Tone said. "Pass it on!" He said to another Joe. 

"You were saying?" Beach Head gave Hawk a strange look.

Hawk sighed. "This is gonna be harder than I thought." 


	2. The Bruised, the Battered and the Broken

**The Bruised, the Battered, and the Broken**

"This is gonna be great!" Todd hopped up and down excitedly on the bed. "We're going to be bunking together! Just like old times!" 

"Yeah, great," Fred sighed as he sat on the bed. It was pushed next to Todd's bed close together, because there was not much space in the small room. Somehow they had found a pair of pajamas that fit him, but barely. He had been sent back to Todd's home almost immediately after being checked out by the medic when they returned to the base. He was then placed in Roadblock's custody. 

"You and me and Roadblock makes three!" Todd sang out bouncing even higher. "It's like a dream come true!" He was obviously thrilled with the idea. "And tomorrow we get to go to ninja school together and I can see Althea and everything!" 

"Yeah right," Fred sighed.

"Come on Freddy," Todd stopped bouncing and gave him a serious look. "What's wrong? Ain't you happy we're all together again?" 

"Kinda," Fred shrugged.

Todd frowned and sat down next to him. "They ain't like Trask you know," He told him. "I know you was thinkin' about that. I mean, you ain't in no cage Freddy. Think about it." 

"I…know," Fred shuddered at the memory. "But man Toad, don't these guys creep you out?"

"Well at first they did, yeah," Todd said. "I was scared, and alone. I wanted to curl up and die. I even did a stupid thing. I hurt myself pretty bad." 

Fred looked at him in shock. Todd continued. "But Roadblock stuck with me. He took care of me and let me know that he cared about me. He's strict yeah, but he loves me and lets me know it. He don't even hit me when I screw up. Course they got other ways to punish you around here, like KP duty and stuff but like I said, he and the other Joes really care about me. I mean I know where you're coming from, Freddy. I didn't believe it at first either. I mean these guys are the army for crying out loud! I couldn't understand why they would bother helping me if not to be a weapon for them or something. But they did. I think it's mostly because they all saw a lot of bad stuff happen to other people in labs and stuff. Some really bad stuff happened and they didn't like what they saw. But whatever the reason, all they ever wanted was to help me and for me to do my best. That's the truth. It can be that way for you guys too if you let them." 

"I dunno…" Fred fidgeted. 

"Fred I know where you're coming from! Remember?" Todd told him, patting him on the back. "Maybe not every human's good, but these guys are different. They're the real deal. I've lived with these people. I've seen it for myself! I ain't lying to you." 

"I…I know you ain't," Fred gulped. "But I can't stop thinking about that lab and those guards and what they said and did and almost did and…and…" 

Todd put his head on Fred's shoulder. "Don't cry Freddy," Todd said softly. "You're safe here. I promise. And so are the other guys. That's why I'm not worried. They just need to rest a bit, and then they'll be good as new. Freddy, I wanna tell you something. I…when I remembered that lab I was in…long ago. I couldn't handle it. I went nuts. I just went off the freaking wall. I could have really hurt somebody as well as myself. If it wasn't for Roadblock and my friends…I don't know what I'd have done." 

"I…I didn't know," Fred blinked back a tear. He hugged Todd gently. "Toad I'm sorry! I'm sorry I…"

"Hey forget about it will ya?" Todd told him. "Magneto's to blame, not you. I forgave you guys a long time ago. So as far as I'm concerned, it's best forgotten. Okay?" 

"'Kay," Fred sniffed. 

Roadblock knocked at the door lightly before coming in. "Is everything okay in here?" He asked.

"Yeah," Todd nodded. "Freddy's just a little nervous that's all."

"Toad!" Fred groaned. "You didn't have to tell him that!" 

"It's okay," Roadblock smiled. "You haven't been here even a day. You've all been hurt pretty deep, but now it's time for you to sleep."

"Does he always talk like that?" Fred asked.

"Talk like what?" Todd looked at him. "Better do what he says or he'll kick our butt." 

"Oh brother," Fred rolled his eyes. "I still don't understand why Lance couldn't be here with us or the others."

"Well in the first place, there wasn't enough room," Roadblock told him. "Besides they still need to de-tox themselves a bit."

"They won't hurt them will they?" Fred asked.

"No," Roadblock put his hand on his shoulder. "I promise." 

"I still don't understand…"Fred said carefully. "A lot of stuff."

"Well, tomorrow hopefully the general will explain things to you," Roadblock said. "When the others are healed a bit."

"Yeah what's wrong with Lance?" Todd frowned. "Freddy said he was really hurting." 

"Is it as bad as Pietro and Wanda?" Fred asked quietly.

"Maybe even worse," Roadblock sighed. 

************************************************************************

Lance woke up in some kind of hospital. "He's coming to," A blonde nurse said. 

"Where am I?" He looked around, dazed. 

"You're in the GI Joe base hospital wing," The nurse told him. "How are you feeling?"

"Like someone hit me with a semi," Lance groaned. 

"Well you seem okay," The nurse said. "The name's Bree. I'm the head nurse here. This is Lifeline."

"I remember you," Lance replied, dazed. 

"He seems all right for now," Lifeline told her. "But I want to check on him just in case."

"I'll get him cleaned up," Bree nodded. "Can you walk?" She asked Lance. He nodded and got up. "Come on." She showed him to a separate examination room with a bathroom. 

"You can take a shower in there," Bree told him, handing him some clothes and towels. "You can put these on when you're done. After that the doc will check you out. Okay?" 

Lance shrugged. There seemed to be little point in arguing with her. He was just grateful that they were willing to allow him to clean himself in private. He went into the bathroom, closed the door and stripped. He turned on the water and was just about to go in when he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. 

He was thin. Thinner than he imagined himself to be. In fact, his ribs were just starting to show. Parts of his body were still sunburnt and sore from his ordeal in the desert. There were bags under his eyes. He had a gaunt look about him. 

It made Lance shake just looking at him. He looked pitiful and pathetic. How could he have allowed himself to become this? He went into the shower and tried to scrub away his shame, but to no avail. 

When he finished he dressed himself in the simple white T-shirt and boxers. He went into the room and simply sat down on the table, to await the inevitable. He knew what was going to happen to him, but he could not bring himself to fight back. There was no point. His entire life was gone. His beliefs and trust had been destroyed. Any hope of reuniting with the love of his life was gone. All that was left inside him was numbness.

Now he was a prisoner of the army, awaiting god only knew what kind of tortures they were going to do to him. He resolved not to protest or make any type of resistance. He would simply take it as if he was an unfeeling machine. He refused to give them the satisfaction of making them see him cry or grovel. 

At least, that was the plan. The medic Lifeline walked in with a blond man wearing a strange green uniform. "Do you feel better?" Lifeline asked.

"Yeah," Lance shrugged, trying to remain noncommittal. 

"Well considering what you've been through it's pretty amazing," The blonde man said. "You've been on your own quite a long time haven't you?" 

"What's it to you?" Lance snapped. 

The blonde man raised an eyebrow. "It's not working this time is it?"

"What are you talking about?" Lance snapped.

"The system," The man explained. "You know, you shout and scream and pretend you don't give a damn about anything. Act like a total jerk in order to hide the fact that you're scared stiff. I admit, the tough guy act does have it's advantages, but unfortunately the one big disadvantage is when that system goes to hell you have nothing to fall back on." 

"You don't know…" Lance started to say.

"Nothin'," The blonde man finished. "You have no idea what I'm like, blah blah blah… Please. I know exactly what kind of person you are. Half the soldiers here are just like you. Or started out like you. So please do us both a favor and spare me the whole delinquent rebel without a cause crap because I've seen it a million times before and you know that it's not working this time. So why don't we just be honest with each other, shall we? You're smarter than that." 

Lance sat there in shock. The blonde man continued. "You actually believe you deserve to be locked up don't you?"

"What are you?" Lance snapped. "Some kind of mind reader?"

"No," The man shook his head. "I'm just a very observant person. I can see the fear in your eyes." 

Lance turned his head to the side, so that he could hide the tears escaping through his eyes. "Look why don't you just get it over with?" His voice was hoarse.

"Get what over with?" 

"You know what," Lance snapped. "How stupid do you think I am? I don't care. I can take it. It can't be any worse than what Magneto did to me. Just get it over with." He shut his eyes tightly, willing himself not to shake.

The blond man looked at the medic. He then nodded. "As you wish," He said softly. 

_I will not cry…_Lance thought to himself, as the medic looked him over. _I will not cry…_He forced himself to remain in control, willing his tears away. After the brief examination both men walked out of the room, leaving him alone. 

After a few minutes, Spirit entered the room, carrying more clothes and shoes. "Put these on," He gave them to him.

"For me?" Lance blinked. 

"Unless you want to walk around in your underwear?" Spirit said wryly. 

Lance put them on and followed Spirit without question out of the room. He masked his fear with an indifferent smirk. He went into another room where there was Lifeline and the blonde man. There was also another man that Lance could tell was a general due to the star on his helmet. 

Lance decided to take the initiative. "Okay, what's going on? Where's Freddy and Pietro and Wanda? I want some answers!" 

"In a hurry isn't he?" The general raised an eyebrow. "I'm General Hawk. This is Psyche-Out our resident shrink and you already know Lifeline." 

"Oh great," Lance folded his arms. "So that's what all that stuff was about back there. Some kind of stupid test right?" 

"No," Psyche-Out said. "Just some stuff you needed to hear. Not that it's registered in your mind yet."

"Some kind of denial right?" Lance sneered.

"No you're just too stubborn for your own good," Psyche-Out shrugged as if he didn't care. 

"Look are you going to tell me what's going on around here or are we just gonna play word games all night?" Lance snapped. "What's the deal with Toad? Why are we here? And what have you done with Blob and Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch?" 

"Well as far as the first two I'll explain in more detail later," Hawk told him.

"You tell me now old man!" Lance snapped, the ground started to shake.

Hawk said nothing. He sighed and folded his arms. "Are you finished with the tough talk or are you going to have another tantrum?" He asked. "Kid that little incident with Asteroid M was a cakewalk compared to some of the stuff I've lived through. So a little thing like you shaking the ground or dropping a building on me isn't going to intimidate me. Of course that's not going to help your friends any, but if you really want to bring the place down, be my guest." 

Lance powered down. "That's better," Hawk said. "The reason you are all here I would think would be pretty obvious. What, did you think we were just going to let all of you die out there on the ice?" 

Lance looked away, uncomfortable. "Oh brother," Hawk groaned. "Look, Blob's with Toad tonight at his place. You can see them tomorrow. As for the others, well, we gotta detox 'em. Get those drugs out of them." 

"Quicksilver needs to sleep for the night," Lifeline told him. "I've given him a mild sedative so that it won't interact with the drugs in his system. You can see him tomorrow. He should wake up by then." 

"So that's it?" Lance asked. "Just wait until tomorrow to find out what you're going to do with us? Fine. What's one more night?" 

"There's something you need to know," Lifeline sighed. "It's about the drugs Magneto gave you." 

"Yeah," Lance said. "What about 'em?" 

"I've done an analysis of what Magneto put into your system," Lifeline said. "Apparently he used different combinations of drugs in all of you. But what I found in your body…" 

"Go on," Lance's face turned hard. 

"It's a rare genetic enhancer called Exon. It's named after the part of DNA that actually contains genetic information. It's also highly dangerous."

"How dangerous?" Lance frowned.

"It has an unusual quality, once it enters a person's bloodstream it becomes permanently attached to his or her DNA. Which means your powers may be constantly evolving. Hence the attack you had. You may also have hallucinations from time to time."

"How long does this stuff last?" Lance asked.

"Years, maybe decades," Lifeline told him. "No one really knows how long they last." 

"How often is it gonna happen?" Lance blinked.

"I don't know," Lifeline sighed. "It may be months or weeks until you get another attack. It varies from person to person."

Lance sat there, stone faced. "Okay," He said. "Let me guess, you're going to do more tests on me. Not that it's totally unexpected. When can I see Pietro and the others?" 

"I want them to rest some more," Lifeline said. "They should be better in the morning. You can talk to them then."

"Maybe then we can find some answers around here," Lance grumbled. 

Hawk said nothing. "Spirit why don't you take Avalanche here back to your quarters? We'll talk in the morning."

Lance blinked for a second, not believing what he had heard. Dazed he followed Spirit out of the room. "Well that was fun," Hawk sighed. "Rude, arrogant and totally without any regard for authority. He'll fit right in on this base." 

"Actually for his personality that was subdued," Psyche-Out said. "Abnormally so." 

"I think he's in shock that he's not going to spend the night in a jail cell," Hawk said. 

"This is not going to be easy," Lifeline sighed as they left. "I don't think he really believes us about the drugs in his system."

"Would you if you were him?" Psyche-Out asked. "He's in shock and denial. The worst is yet to come. It won't hit him until he has another attack." 

Suddenly the window on the door from across the room shattered. "What the…?" Hawk cried out. They ran into the room. Flint and Bree were dodging flying furniture and other various objects. Wanda was backed into a corner, screaming like a banshee.

"What's going on?" Hawk yelped.

"She woke up and started going nuts!" Flint told him. 

"I don't think she likes being in the hospital wing," Bree said. 

"NO!" Wanda screamed. "NOT AGAIN! NOT AGAIN!" The light bulbs exploded around the room. 

Wanda shrieked then flung a hexbolt straight at them. Furniture flew about the room. They ducked for cover. "Wanda please!" Lifeline shouted. "We're not going to hurt you! We just want to help!"

"LIAR!" She screamed making the ceiling split apart. 

"If we don't do something she's gonna tear this base apart!" Flint shouted. He rushed at her, but ended up flying backward thanks to a well-aimed hexbolt. 

"Careful!" Lifeline shouted. "Don't hurt her!"

"Don't hurt **her**?" Flint shouted. "What about us?" He dodged a flying chair. 

"Get Avalanche back here!" Hawk shouted. "Maybe he can help calm her down!" A Joe ran off to get him. "Kid's obviously terrified!"

"**She's** terrified?" Flint groaned, dodging more debris. 

"I have an idea!" Lifeline said. "If I can get close enough to her, I can use my healing abilities to calm her down."

"It's worth a try," Psyche-Out said. "What we need is a distraction!" 

"Wanda?" Lance ran in. "Geeze! She's going nuts!"

"I think we just got one!" Hawk said. "Tell her to knock it off, will ya?"

"What makes you think she'll listen to me?" Lance ducked a flying piece of glass. "She was locked up in a nuthouse for years by her old man. She hates hospitals! They freak her out!"

"Just talk to her," Lifeline said. "Keep her focused on you for a bit. Do it!"

"Okay," Lance gulped. He waved to her. "Wanda! Wanda knock it off will ya? It's me! Will you quit it?!" 

Wanda screamed and swore as she threw hexbolts in his direction. "GEEZE WANDA WILL YOU CUT IT OUT BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEONE?" Lance shouted. "NAMELY ME!" 

She screamed, throwing a hexbolt at him. Lance dodged it and used his powers to create a tremor, but Wanda simply threw the tremor right back at him. While this was happening, Lifeline was inching closer to her. Before she knew it, Lifeline grabbed her and put his glowing hands to her head. 

"NOOOOO!" She screamed. A wild gust of wind and light surrounded them both. When it died down, they were both standing there in a trance. They were glowing, and their eyes were wide open, facing each other, but not seeing anything. Lifeline's hands were on each side of Wanda's head. 

"What's going on?" Lance asked. 

"I dunno," Hawk scratched his head. "Sometimes Lifeline can go into a person's head when he's using his abilities. Maybe he's talking to her." 

"I hope he's talking to her," Psyche-Out sighed. "If she screwed up his powers…this could take a while." 

Thirty minutes later they were still sitting around the room. Lance and Spirit were there as well. "It's been nearly half an hour," Lance said. "Maybe we should…"Lifeline and Wanda suddenly snapped out of their trance. Immediately, Wanda started bawling. She slumped against Lifeline's chest, sobbing uncontrollably. 

"Shhhh," Lifeline held her. "Shhhh. It's alright Wanda. It's okay. You're safe now. That's a good girl. That's a good girl." 

Wanda kept sobbing. "He locked me away," She cried. "I didn't mean to be bad. He just locked me away."

"I know," Lifeline held her, gently stroking her hair in order to comfort her.

"They wouldn't let me out," She cried. "I pleaded and I begged them to let me out, but they wouldn't let me out." 

"Wanda I promise no one is going to hurt you," Lifeline told her. 

"Are you going to lock me away too?" She whimpered.

"No," He said softly. "But you have to be a good girl now. Promise me that you'll control your temper. Okay?" 

"I promise," She sniffed. "I'll be good." 

"That's all I ask," Lifeline said. "Bree?"

Wanda flinched when Bree gently touched her shoulder. "It's all right," Lifeline said. "This is my wife Bree. She's a nurse here. She won't hurt you." 

"Hello Wanda," Bree smiled. "You look like you need a nice warm bath and a hot meal. Would you like that?" 

Wanda nodded feebly. "Are you…nice?" She asked nervously. 

"I'd like to think so," Bree smiled. "I know you're scared honey, but I promise I only want to help you. Okay?" 

Wanda fidgeted nervously. "Wanda remember those drugs Magneto gave you?" Lifeline asked. "We have to try to get them out of your body. That's why you're here. Do you understand?"

"A little," She said. 

"We aren't going to do any experiments on you," Bree said. "We just want to help you. That's all. I promise, we'll take good care of you and your brother." 

"Now I want you to be a good girl and let Bree take care of you," Lifeline said gently. "Understand?" 

"Okay," Wanda blinked. 

Wanda meekly allowed Bree to lead her away. Lifeline weakly slumped into a nearby chair. "What happened?" Hawk asked him.

"Let's just say I got locked into her mind and leave it at that," Lifeline sighed. 

"I take it that it wasn't exactly a vacation spot," Flint said.

"No," Lifeline breathed. 

"Avalanche you might as well go back now," Hawk sighed. "I think things are under control here." 

"Yeah," Lance walked away with Spirit, puzzled. 

"Look at this place," Flint looked at the trashed room. "That girl's power is amazing! And I thought Althea had a temper!" 

"I've never seen such rage," Psyche-Out said. "And that's saying something after spending years in GI Joe!" 

"Do you know why she got so angry in the first place?" Lifeline's face darkened. "The drugs Magneto gave her were hurting her. They made her confused and couldn't control anything. And then the monster abandoned her in that hospital where they ran tests on her all the time!" 

"Was she…?" Psyche-Out asked gently.

"Molested? No," Lifeline sighed. "Thank God for small favors. She frightened the guards and the doctors too much for them to get near her without some kind of weapons. Still…" He shuddered. "Her mind is so tortured. It's filled with anger and pain."

"Quicksilver's isn't going to be that much better," Psyche-Out sighed. "Rejected by his father and nearly killed by him. Not exactly my idea of father-son interaction." 

"They're all going to be like that," Hawk sighed. "Did you see the looks on their faces? In the army new recruits are broken down to their basic selves so they can be put back together tougher and stronger. But what happens when those recruits are already broken?" 

"Hawk this is going to take time," Psyche-Out told him. "There's no quick fix for this. Some of these kids are worse off than Toad was. They need help, General. People who will take care of them and guide them. There's no one else to do it."

"Yeah," Hawk sighed. "It's up to us to clean up Magneto's mess." 


	3. Disturbed Slumber

**Disturbed Slumber**

Lifeline walked into the room where Pietro and Wanda were in. Pietro was unconscious and by now so was Wanda. "She's finally asleep?" He asked. 

"Yeah," She nodded. "Poor thing. She looks so peaceful. You'd have never guessed she was capable of destroying a room."

"Considering her past history that's not so hard to understand why she reacted like that," Lifeline pointed out. 

Bree sighed as she tucked Wanda in. "Well she loved her bubble bath. That really calmed her down." 

"Bubble bath?" Lifeline raised an eyebrow.

"I used one of my favorite ones," Bree shrugged. "You know the one that smells like vanilla? Hey it always calms me down. I still feel a little guilty putting a sedative in her food."

"She needs to rest," Lifeline told her. "And it's nothing compared to what Magneto gave her." 

Suddenly a low guttural moan came from Pietro. He started to thrash in his bed. "No…No…Father! Father!" 

"Pietro!" Lifeline shook him gently. "Wake up son! Wake up!"

Pietro's eyes opened with a start. "Wh…Where?" He looked at Lifeline and instinctively flinched. He tried to back away, but then noticed his foot was held in place by some kind of traction. "What happened? Where am I?"

"Easy son," Lifeline told him. "Your leg was broken. You're in the Joe medical wing. It's all right. You're safe now."

"Yeah," Pietro frowned. "Stuck in an army lab, that's a strange definition of the word safe." 

"It's not a lab," Bree told him. "It's the hospital wing."

"Whatever," Pietro groaned. 

"It's the truth!" Bree frowned. 

"Easy Bree," Lifeline said gently. "Bad dream?"

"Gee doc how did you ever guess?" Pietro snapped.

"Why you…" Bree snapped.

"Bree calm down," Lifeline told her. "He doesn't know any better. Besides it's just the fear talking."

"I'm not afraid of you!" Pietro snapped. "I…AAAGGGH!" He tried to sit up and move at his super speed, but it caused him agonizing pain. 

"Easy now," Lifeline put his hands on his forehead and started to use his healing energy to calm him down. "You've been hurt pretty badly. Just calm down now."

"What are you doing to me?" Pietro blinked. 

"I'm not a mutant, but I do have healing abilities," Lifeline patiently explained. "You need to rest. It's going to be a slow recovery, even with my abilities." 

Pietro sat there in stunned silence, letting Lifeline focus his energy into his body. He felt calmer. He looked around and saw Wanda lying in her bed. "Wanda?"

"Is going to be fine," Bree explained. "We have to get the drugs out of your systems. That's why you're both here. She's just resting now." 

"If you've hurt her…" Pietro's voice wavered.

"Kid we don't do those type of things!" Bree said, exasperated. 

"Yeah right," Pietro said. "You expect me to believe that?"

"We saved your butts you ungrateful little…" Bree fumed. 

"Bree! Stop that!" Lifeline told her. "He doesn't understand. It's going to take time before he trusts us."

At this Pietro scoffed. Lifeline looked at him. "Listen to me," Lifeline said gently. "I know you don't believe me yet, but I am going to tell you this anyway. I won't let anyone hurt you. I promise." 

"I've heard that before," Pietro sulked. 

Lifeline allowed more healing energy into Pietro's body. He didn't want Pietro's leg to completely heal yet because he knew the boy would bolt before all the drugs were out of his system. This would probably make him even more susceptible to a more serious injury. Still, he allowed his leg to slowly mend, just a little.

"My…my leg," Pietro winced, feeling it.

"Yes," Lifeline explained. "It's going to take time, but I can help heal your leg back to normal. You need to rest now."

"Don't wanna," Pietro muttered sleepily. 

"You have to," Lifeline told him. "You want to get better don't you? That's a good boy." 

Pietro closed his eyes, slumping into Lifeline's arms. "No. Don't wanna have another bad dream." 

"Just go to sleep," Lifeline told him. "Forget the nightmares and rest now. There will be no pain. Just a safe, dreamless rest."

"Safe…" Pietro yawned and fell back to sleep. 

"That's right," Lifeline yawned as he tucked the boy in. He released the flow of energy. "Sleep…." He wavered. He looked like he was going to pass out.

"Lifeline!" Bree caught him from falling to the floor. 

"I'm all right," He said weakly. "I overexerted myself, what with Wanda and everyone else. Just need to rest." 

"Come on," Bree helped him up. "You get some sleep. I'll watch over them. Okay?" She glanced at the sleeping twins. "It's gonna be a long night." 

************************************************************************

Lance shot up out of the bed, screaming. He sat there in the dark shaking, covered with sweat. Spirit burst into the room. "Are you all right?" He asked.

"Oh yeah fine," Lance snapped. "I always wake up in the middle of the night screaming my lungs out." He looked over again at Spirit. "Sorry…it's just…"

"Well it was a stupid question," Spirit said.

"I didn't mean it," Lance apologized. _Idiot! Why are you apologizing to him for? What do you care what he thinks of you? _

"Was it about Magneto?" Spirit asked.

Lance wasn't going to tell him but found himself nodding before he could stop himself. _What's the matter with you Lance? Boy Magneto must have done a real job on you if you keep spilling your guts like this! _

Spirit noticed the boy was confused, as if he was struggling with an inner turmoil. He remembered that Magneto had given Lance a drug that was designed to make a person obedient to the first person he saw. Of course, what Magneto did not count on was the effects of the other drugs he had put in Lance's body delaying the effect of the obedience drug. Therefore, the drug did not take full effect until much later, when Spirit had found him in the desert. 

Still, even with the drug in full effect, Lance was fighting it, even if he had no idea that the obedience drug had worked at all. Spirit realized that he would have to choose his words carefully. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Y…N-no," Lance sputtered. "I don't. I don't." 

"Lance listen to me," Spirit put his hand on his shoulder. "I know you are hurt and confused. Part of it is due to the fact that the drugs are still in your system. So if you feel a little…not quite like yourself that is why."

"No kidding!" Lance snapped. _Don't talk to him like that! _

Why shouldn't I speak to him like that? The thoughts conflicted inside his head. "What the hell do you care anyway? Afraid I'll bring the ceiling down? I've done that before!"

"No," Spirit sat down and shook his head. "I'm afraid that you will give into the drugs and be submissive."

"What?" Lance snapped. "Excuse me, but isn't the whole point of you army guys keeping me here is to keep me under control?"

"Not this way," Spirit told him. "I would prefer that you would obey because you'd want to. Not because you were forced to."

"Oh well that is rich!" Lance snapped. "Either you're lying through your teeth or you are completely nuts! Nobody's nice to somebody like me unless they want something!"

"Is that what you believe?" Spirit asked. "What kind of life have you lived? What makes you believe that?" 

Suddenly a desire to tell Spirit his life story began to overwhelm him. Lance fought it back. "Forget it!" Lance snapped. "Forget I said anything!" 

"Is that all you've ever known?" Spirit kept on asking. "Cruelty and pain? Have you never known kindness?" 

"Shut up!" Lance shouted, shaking visibly.

Spirit kept going. "Is your life filled with such emptiness and longing that you would do anything, anything to stave away the pain? Even deny yourself?" 

"Just… just stop it!" Lance fought back his pain. "Leave me alone!"

"That's all you know isn't it?" Spirit's voice said softly. "Being alone. That's why you love Kitty so much. Was she the only person in your life who ever accepted you? Even just a little." 

"Stop it…stop it…" Tears were starting to leak from Lance's eyes. He fought them back. 

Spirit sat down on the bed next to him. "Let me help you. I can give you the guidance you need. The acceptance you've been craving for. The strength to stand tall. I am willing to do this for you. I want to help you son." 

That was it. The final blow. All his reserves were gone. He could have taken anything but that. That one kind word in his ear destroyed him completely. He screamed. "I'm nobody's son! I'm nothing…nothing…" He collapsed into Spirit's arms, sobbing. 

He could hold it back no longer. Somehow it all came out. All the pain of his past rushed out of his lips like a torrent of rain. He couldn't stop himself. It was like a confession of the damned. He didn't know if he wanted forgiveness or damnation. He just wanted the pain to be over.

Spirit said nothing. Not a word. He simply held the boy as he sobbed, like a parent comforting a hurt child. It was hard, he knew. But it was necessary. The barriers needed to be broken down so he could be rebuilt again. It was the only way to make the boy whole. As the boy confessed his life story, Spirit became determined that he would do this. He would not allow the boy to be harmed again. 

Lance didn't know how long he rambled on or when he lost consciousness. He just drifted off into exhaustion, still babbling. When he awoke it was late in the morning. He was alone in the bed, covered with a blanket. He instinctively pulled the covers closer to himself, not quite sure what had happened to him. He was still dressed so nothing too bad could have happened right?

A knock at the door stunned him. It was Spirit. There was a gentle look in his eyes. A look that reminded him of what had happened the night before. "Oh god…" Lance moaned as everything he had said came rushing back to him. 

"Listen," Spirit told him. "What you told me last night stays right here. I won't tell anyone. I promise." 

"Feel so stupid," Lance put his head into his hands. 

"You shouldn't," Spirit sat down on the bed next to him. "You've been hurting for a long time. You needed to get it out of your system." 

"And what? I'm supposed to feel better now?" Lance snapped. Instantly he regretted his tone of voice. "Sorry." 

"No need," Spirit told him. "And no, I don't expect you to feel better. Not yet anyway." 

Lance asked. "What are you gonna do with us? I mean, what's going to happen to us here?" 

"You will not be harmed."

"What? No experiments? No drugs?" Lance didn't quite believe him.

"Not the kind you're thinking of," Spirit said. 

"So what are you going to do to us?" Lance asked. 

"Train you," Spirit told him. "Take care of you. Teach you the way of the warrior and make sure your powers are not misused or taken advantage of again." 

"Like with Toad?" 

"Yes. It will not be easy."

"Is anything easy?" Lance groaned. "Not that we have much of a choice. I mean where else are we gonna go?" He put his head into his hands again. He felt like he was going to cry again. 

"You are lost," Spirit said softly. "I will guide you." 

"Do you think I'm a complete and total screw up?" Lance asked softly.

"Well, I'd say you were confused, misguided and a bit too headstrong for your own good, but not a screw up," Spirit said honestly. "I want to help you Lance. You have more potential than you realize. And I'm not talking about the growth of your powers." 

"What do you mean?" Lance blinked. 

"Your abilities are merely a small part of you. They are not you."

"What does that mean exactly," Lance was starting to really feel lost again. 

"You have the potential and the spirit to be a great warrior," He told him. "And that power is far greater than any mutant ability. What you need is someone who can bring that out of you." 

"You'd help me?" Lance asked. "Just like that?" 

"Yes."

"Why? I don't understand." 

"I know you don't," Spirit sighed. "And that's the problem." He looked at Lance's confused eyes. "You have a lot to learn young one. A lot to learn." 

**Next chapter, Wanda wakes up! And we finally get to see the reunion of Todd and Althea! Yay! **


	4. When Wanda Woke Up

**When Wanda Woke Up**

When Wanda awoke she had no idea where she was. Disoriented, she gazed at the white walls around her for several minutes. Then she remembered what had happened to her the previous night. She sat up instantly, instinctively hugging her knees to her chest. She looked to her right and saw her brother peacefully sleeping. His leg was in a cast and his face was very pale. 

She startled when the door opened. It was Bree. "Hey there," Bree gave a tired smile. "Feeling better?" 

Wanda nodded. "Feeling hungry?" Bree asked. She was carrying a tray with some toast, cereal, juice, fruit and some milk. 

Wanda's stomach growled. "I'll take that as a yes," Bree smiled, setting the tray down. Wanda immediately began to eat. "Take it easy kid. The food's not going anywhere." 

_Poor kid, _Bree thought as she watched the girl eat. _I can only imagine what's going through her mind right now. She's been through so much. No wonder she's terrified of us. Can't say I blame her. _

"What happened to Pietro?" Wanda finally asked in a quiet voice.

"He tried to stop Magneto," Bree told her. "And he hurt him."

A flicker of rage blasted in Wanda's eyes. The room seemed to shake for a second. Then it stopped. She collected herself. "What's going to happen to us?" She asked nervously.

Bree sat down on the bed next to her. "We're not going to hurt you," She told her. "Or do experiments on you. We're going to take care of you and keep you away from Magneto."

"Are you going to lock us away?" Wanda's eyes went wide and fearful.

"No, no," Bree gently hugged her. "We're going to keep you safe and watch out for you. You and your brother and the others need a home. A real home where you'll be looked after and cared for. We're going to protect you and train you to use your powers for good." 

"Others?" Wanda asked.

"Blob and Avalanche," Bree explained. "They're here too." 

"Lance is alive?" Wanda gasped. "But I thought Magneto killed him!"

"He didn't," Bree smiled. 

"But how?" Wanda pulled from Bree's embrace, puzzled. "How did we end up here? What happened? Where is this place?" 

"This is the Pit, the GI Joe base," Bree explained. "This is where Toad lives. You remember Toad don't you? We found him and took him in. We want to do that to you too if you'll let us." 

Wanda looked at her nervously. "I can only imagine what your father told you about what they do to mutants on army bases," Bree said. "But that's not true here. We don't do those kinds of things. Actually I don't think they do that on most army bases in America anyway. This is a safe place. Safe as you can get actually if you think about it."

"You didn't brainwash Toad did you?" Wanda asked softly.

"No," Bree gently brushed Wanda's hair with her fingers. "Toad's our friend. We'd never do that to him. Or you. We're not going to hurt you kid, I promise." 

"I know Lifeline wouldn't hurt me," Wanda said. "When he was inside my mind…it wasn't anything like Xavier. It was as if he was trying to pull me away from the bad things. He was so kind and gentle…"

"That's Lifeline," Bree smiled. "He wouldn't hurt a fly. He doesn't believe in violence of any kind." 

"Kind of unusual on an army base," Wanda blinked.

"Well this isn't exactly a normal army base," Bree smiled. "Now listen, if you feel scared or confused about anything, and I mean anything at all; you talk to either Lifeline or me. Okay?"

"Okay," Wanda said. "But what happened? The last thing I remember was Magneto…" She shuddered.

"Well we invaded Asteroid M to get Toad and the others back," Bree told her. "Your brother helped us and gave you to us so that you could be safe. You were out cold. There was a huge battle. Your brother, Avalanche and Blob fought with us against Magneto. Asteroid M was destroyed, but he escaped. We did capture Mystique however."

"What about the X-Men?" Wanda asked. "Rogue?"

"They've gone home," She told her. "They don't know you're here. Rogue got some new powers but other than that she's okay."

"She's my sister you know," Wanda said bitterly. "Half sister. My father and Mystique created her for an experiment."

"I didn't know that," Bree said, surprised. 

"I wonder if that's all I ever was to him as well," Wanda said. "An experiment."

"Listen to me," Bree said. "You are a beautiful young girl. And you're a special girl. Not because of your powers but who you are inside. What your father thinks of you doesn't matter. It's how you think of yourself that counts. Am I making sense here?"

"A little," Wanda shrugged. 

Bree yawned. "Sorry," She apologized. "I've been up all night. Your brother had a bad night." 

Then the door opened. A red haired woman entered. "Hey," She smiled. "Hawk sent me down here to see if you needed any help." 

"Wanda this is Scarlet," Bree introduced her. "She's one of the best fighters of GI Joe."

"Hello," Wanda said softly.

"Hi there kid," Scarlet smiled. "Good to see one of you up at least." She looked at Bree. "You look awful." 

"Thanks a lot," Bree grimaced. "Is Lifeline awake yet?"

"I think he's still asleep," Scarlet told her. "He should be up soon." 

"Wanda I want to ask Scarlet something for a second," Bree told her. They moved off to the side. "Scarlet could you do me a favor? I want to take a nap, but I don't want Wanda to be left alone just yet. It will be about an hour or so until Pietro wakes up. Could you watch her for a bit?" 

"No problem," Scarlet smiled. "You go rest a bit. We'll be okay." 

"Remember she's a bit skittish," Bree said. 

"Don't worry," Scarlet patted her shoulder. "I think I know how to calm her down." She turned to Wanda. "Hey kid, wanna take a ride?" 

"Where?" Wanda looked confused. 

"We have a garden in back of our dojo," Scarlet explained. "It's very peaceful. You can relax and get some fresh air."

"That's a good idea," Bree nodded. "Is that okay Wanda?" 

"Yeah, I guess," Wanda agreed. She looked at Pietro. "Will he be okay?"

"He'll be fine," Bree said. "He should wake up in an hour or so." 

Bree left. Scarlet helped Wanda put on a warm bathrobe and into a wheelchair. She wheeled Wanda out the door and around the base. "We'll take the back way," Scarlet told her. She didn't want Wanda to be too startled by all the soldiers and vehicles. Still she couldn't avoid all of the sights. Wanda's eyes were wide as she saw all the strange people with huge weapons all around her. 

Scarlet pushed the wheelchair. Wanda looked at all the strange sights around her. "I know it's a lot to take in right now," Scarlet told her. "But you'll get used to it." 

Around the corner came a Joe wearing a medieval dress. "Where is everybody?" He fumed. "Scarlet have you seen my cast? We're supposed to be rehearsing! How can I put on a decent rendition of Hamlet if we don't rehearse?" 

"Uh no Airtight," Scarlet said. "Why don't you check the motor pool?"

"Good idea!" Airtight stormed off. "If they've got grease stains on their costumes I'll kill them!"

"Scarlet…?" Wanda asked. 

"Uh…you'll get used to that too," Scarlet wheeled the chair a little faster. 

It wasn't long before they made their way to the Dojo. Instead of going through the front door, they made their way to the back. To Wanda's surprise they were soon in an amazing garden with a small waterfall and a fountain. There were multi-colored flowers all around. Beautifully crafted bonsai trees as well as giant weeping willows and other examples of foliage were all around. If Wanda had awakened here, she never would have guessed she was on an army base. 

Wanda looked at the serenity around her. "It's beautiful."

"Yeah," Scarlet nodded. "I like to come here myself. It's so peaceful."

"AWWWWWWKKKK!" A green and yellow parrot flew by at a rapid speed. "FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES! RUN! RUN! HEAD FOR THE HILLS!" 

"Well usually," Scarlet sighed. 

Three identical girls ran into the garden. They each had black hair and wore white training outfits. "Come back birdie!" They shouted. "We just want to try some of our new powers on you!" 

"HELP! HELP!" The bird buzzed around Scarlet's head. "POLLY'S GONNA BE A KENTUCKY FRIED PARROT! AWK! SAVE ME! SAVE ME!" 

Another girl ran into the garden. She looked about Wanda's age and had long black hair with blue streaks. She had a bandage on her forehead. She was also wearing a white training outfit. "Come back here you maniacs!" She screamed. "I swear if you hurt that bird I will knock your blocks off!" 

"ALL RIGHT KNOCK IT OFF!" Scarlet shouted. Instantly the chaos stopped. 

"Call the ASPCA!" Polly landed on Scarlet's shoulder. "Call my lawyer! Call my vet! I need more Prozac!" 

"All right that's it!" Scarlet said. "How many times have you girls been told not to experiment on Shipwreck's bird?" 

"I don't know," Said the triplet with pigtails. "We stopped counting at 300."

"Don't be so smart!" The older girl shoved her. 

"Make me!" The pigtailed girl stuck her tongue out. 

"Girls!" Scarlet reprimanded. "It may have escaped your notice but we have a visitor! This is Wanda. Try to remember what manners you have, okay? Wanda, these four lunatics are the kids of one of the soldiers here. They're mutants also. Girls would you mind introducing yourselves?" 

"Hey there," The eldest one waved. "I'm Althea Delgato. Code-named Wavedancer. These are my insane sisters, this one is Daria," She pointed to the one with a ponytail on the right side of her head. "This is Quinn," She pointed to the one with a ponytail on the left. "And the one with the mouth is Brittany." She pointed to the pigtailed girl, who stuck her tongue at her. 

"Together we're called Trinity!" Quinn said cheerfully. "Like it? We just made up our new code name a few days ago!" 

"We all have gills!" Daria said, pulling her hair back to reveal a set of delicate gills on her neck. "That means we can breathe underwater! And we're really strong!"

"Our big sister here can also control water," Brittany said. "And we just found out we've got cool psychic powers! What can you do?"

"Subtle aren't they?" Althea groaned. 

"Yeah," Polly quipped. "Like a Mac truck! So what do you do?"

"Quiet bird!" Scarlet snapped. 

"It's okay," Wanda said. "I can control probabilities with hex bolts." 

"What does that mean?" Daria asked.

"It means she can make things go haywire," Althea told her. "Todd told us about her. You remember." 

"Oh yeah," Brittany said. "She's the one from the nuthouse!"

"Brittany!" Scarlet said sharply. 

"Somebody should send you to the nuthouse!" Daria whacked her on the head. 

"You first!" Brittany hit her back. Daria hit her again. And Brittany whacked her again. Then Quinn hit her. "OW! What'd you do that for?"

"I didn't want to be left out," Quinn said simply. 

"Fine!" Daria whacked her. "Happy now?" 

"Not really!" Quinn smacked both Daria and Brittany. 

"You are so dead!" Brittany screamed as they both chased Quinn.

"That's it!" Scarlet shouted. "You three are getting a time out!"

"Gotta catch us first!" Daria shouted.

"YOU GIRLS COME BACK HERE!" Scarlet shouted and started to chase after them. 

"AWWK!" Polly laughed flying after them. "Mayday! Mayday! Awwk! One Adam Twelve! One Adam Twelve a four eleven in progress! Awk!" 

"Oh god," Althea groaned. She looked at the shocked Wanda. "I'm really sorry about that. I think when they were in the womb they only got like one brain cell or something spilt between them. Plus they take after our dad and he doesn't exactly have a lot going on upstairs if you catch my drift."

"Uh yeah," Wanda blinked. "And people call me crazy."

"Let's just say sanity is a rare commodity on this base and leave it at that," Althea groaned. "So you're from Bayville? And you know Toad huh?" 

"Yeah," Wanda shrugged. 

"Look," Althea said. "I know we really don't know each other, but I'd like to be friends with you. I mean there aren't exactly that many kids our age on the base, let alone girls. And those three maniacs definitely don't count."

"I'd like that," Wanda said. "I…never really had many friends before." 

"I know this is all kind of weird and all," Althea sat down on the grass. "Believe me, I know what it's like to be dumped by a parent. I mean, my mom just got sick of being a parent and took off." She fidgeted uncomfortably. 

"YOU GIRLS PUT THOSE NUNCHUCKS DOWN RIGHT NOW!" Scarlet's voice carried over the distance. "I MEAN IT!" 

"Sometimes I can see her point," Althea groaned. "But I mean, it hurts you know?"

"Yeah," Wanda sighed. "I know. Toad told you all about me right?"

"Uh huh," Althea nodded. "News kinda travels fast around here. I know you don't trust army guys and all, but I grew up on this base. I've known most of these people my entire life. You can trust them. Well most of them. There are a couple jerks on this base but you probably won't get to see them too much anyway." 

"Oh," Wanda absorbed this information. "So what do you do in this place?" 

"Well we train a lot and we're home schooled," Althea told her. "But that's not all we do. We get a lot of time to play around and stuff. Of course, most of that time I'm usually looking after my sisters and my baby brother. But Todd and I hang around a lot too. We have a lot of fun. We get to drive the vehicles sometimes and stuff. My dad's crazy but he's pretty cool about me having some kind of downtime. He doesn't think it's healthy to train 24-7."

"What kind of training do you do?" Wanda asked. 

"Well some basic army stuff," She told her. "But we also do a lot of ninja training and martial arts. It's pretty tough, but it's kind of cool once you get used to it. Course I've grown up doing this stuff all my life so it's a piece of cake for me. It's what I know. Not exactly normal I'll admit, but it's my life you know. Not like your life or anything." 

"I'd never thought I'd be considered anything close to normal," Wanda said. 

Althea groaned. "Trust me, compared to my sisters you're normal! I mean look at them. They're freaks. And that's me saying that! I'd like to have a normal friend. You know what I'm saying?" 

"Yeah," Wanda sighed. "But you're not exactly the only one with an insane family. My father is a monster and my brother is a lunatic. And now I have another sister…" She trailed off. 

"Another sister?" Althea asked.

"Rogue," Wanda sighed. "Half-sister. Something tells me you'd probably hear about that anyway." 

"Not exactly Miss Sociable is she?" Althea grinned. "And you're right about that. I mean you hear all the gossip around here sooner or later. I could tell you things…" 

"ALTHEA!" 

She turned around and saw Todd hopping into the backyard, wearing a white training uniform. "Babe!" Althea got up and ran to him. 

"Althea!" Todd bounded in excitedly. He grabbed onto Althea with a big hug and twirled her around. "Althea!"

"I missed you so much!" Althea clung to him. "They wouldn't let me see you earlier!" 

"Your head," Todd fingered it gently. "What…?"

"Sabertooth banged me up a little," Althea explained. She saw the dark frown on Todd's face. "Hey it's okay. Looks worse than it actually is. I'm okay. Really."

"Yeah," Todd sighed, tracing her cheek with his fingers. 

"I'm okay," Althea said, touching her forehead to his. 

"If he'd hurt you…I mean really hurt you…." Todd's voice wavered. 

Wanda watched the tender scene with some surprise. She'd never realized how tender and gentle Todd could actually be. Suddenly she felt very uncomfortable. "Uh maybe I should go." 

"Hey yo Wanda!" Todd waved. "Sorry about not noticing you at first. I just was so anxious to see my girl here. You know?" 

"Yeah," Wanda smiled weakly. "I know. So…this is where you live?" 

"Yup," Todd said proudly as they walked up to her. "Home sweet home. How you feeling?"

"Okay I guess," Wanda shrugged. "Considering." 

"Hey why don't we just relax for a bit yo?" Todd said. "I mean, the triplets are getting the third degree from Scarlet and we got plenty of time before our lesson. You wanna watch? It'll give you an idea of what we do around here."

"Why not?" Wanda shrugged. "Where's Fred and the others?" 

"Hawk's having a meeting with them," Todd explained. "He's gonna straighten things out." 


	5. General Hawk Explains It All

**General Hawk Explains It All**

"Hey buddy? Are you okay?"

Pietro opened his eyes and saw Freddy peering over him. His face was literally stuck in front of his. "AAAHH!" Pietro yelped.

"AAAAHHH!" Fred yelped and leapt back. 

"Geeze Blob you gave me a heart attack!" Pietro gasped. 

"Sorry man," Fred scratched his head. "I just wanted to see if you were okay."

"Oh yeah, I've got a broken leg, a ton of stupid chemicals in my system not to mention the fact that I'm a prisoner of the army," He rolled his eyes. "I'm just peachy keen!"

"Not to mention your dad dumped you," Fred shrugged.

"Freddy if you are trying to help, don't!" Pietro snapped. He looked over and saw Wanda's bed was empty. "Where's Wanda?" 

"I think they took her to some kind of garden out back," Fred said. "I heard she was with Toad or something."

"So what happened?" Pietro asked. "Last thing I remember is passing out on that ice block, then I woke up here last night."

"Well they didn't hurt us or nothin'" Fred shrugged. "They just checked us out to see if we were okay then I went home with Toad while Lance went off with that Indian guy. I think his name's Spirit or somethin'." 

"They didn't lock you up?" Pietro was surprised.

"No," He said. "I can't believe it either. I…"

The door opened to reveal Lance. But there was something different about him. Gone was his usual cocky attitude. It had been replaced with a haunted look. He looked defeated somehow.

"Lance are you okay?" Pietro asked.

"Yeah I'm fine," Lance sighed. He didn't sound fine. He sounded like a man resigned to his fate. 

"Something's wrong," Pietro's eyebrows rose. 

"I'm just…tired okay?" Lance pleaded. "I don't want to talk about it." He sat down in a chair nearby. 

Pietro was about to say something else when General Hawk walked into the room. "Well I see the gang's all here," He said.

"Where's Wanda?" Pietro snapped. "And who are you?"

"My name's General Hawk," He told them. "I'm the leader of GI Joe. Wanda's out in the garden with Toad and the others. I think it's best that we keep this little chat to ourselves." 

"Others?" Lance blinked.

"Toad's girlfriend and her family," Fred explained. "You remember them?" 

"Okay I guess the first thing you're wondering about is Todd's um…abilities," Hawk sighed. 

"You must have read our minds," Pietro snapped. 

"You see one of our ninjas was keeping a sacred mystical artifact hidden in our dojo," Hawk told them. "Todd accidentally found it." 

"You're kidding?" Pietro's eyebrows raised.

"I wish I was," Hawk groaned. "Anyway this stone enables whoever possesses it great power. However if it's used before the person is old enough to wield it…well let's just say things could get really ugly. I mean we are talking disaster of biblical proportions here! Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"With Toad involved that's not so hard to comprehend," Pietro groaned. 

"Can't you just take it away from him?" Fred asked. 

"Uh…it's absorbed inside his body," Hawk explained. "If it was removed, it would kill him. We told Toad that he had accidentally set off a ninja trap, so he doesn't realize that he has it inside him." 

"For real?" Fred asked.

"Well it must be true," Pietro groaned. "It's too weird not to be true! Not even the army could make up a wild story like that!" 

"It's not like we don't intend to tell him," Hawk said. "We just want to wait until he's a little older until he's ready and finished his training."

"How long is that gonna take?" Fred asked. 

"Until he's twenty one," Hawk sighed. "And he is gonna need all the training he can get!" 

"So that's what that was all about?" Pietro asked. 

"Yes," Hawk sighed. "And I'd appreciate it if you don't mention this to Toad. Or Wanda or Althea or anyone else! There are already too many people aware of this. Can you imagine what would happen if Cobra or Magneto figured out what was inside Toad?"

"I get the message," Pietro groaned. "I guess we might as well keep it a secret. There's no way Toad is ready for anything like this!" 

"I don't think we're ready for anything like this," Fred groaned. "So…what are you gonna do with us?" 

"Well that depends on you," He said. "You have three choices, but something tells me the first one is not gonna work. You could be turned over to the proper authorities that deal with mutants…"

"Pass!" Pietro snapped.

"I thought so," Hawk nodded. "Not exactly my first choice either. Or you could go to the X-Men and be trained with Xavier…" 

"Forget that!" Fred groaned. "Us with those guys? No way!" 

"Then there's choice number three," Hawk said. "You can stay here and be trained by us." 

"I don't suppose you can just let us go huh?" Pietro asked. 

"Nope," Hawk shook his head.

"I didn't think so," Pietro groaned. "Some choices."

"Suppose we did stay," Fred said. "What would you do with us?"

"We'd train you like I said," Hawk said. "And I'm not saying it's gonna be easy. We're also going to teach you."

"Like school?" Fred frowned.

"Yes," Hawk said. "And you'll be given psychological counseling."

"Oh goody," Pietro rolled his eyes again.

"But you'll also have a home," Hawk said. "We're starting to put together a special group of Joes that will be training you and taking care of you full time. Roadblock, Toad's foster father will be in charge. Althea's father will be part of the team too, for obvious reasons. And we're planning on making a permanent home for all of you so you can all live together. So you won't be separated for long." 

"I have a question," Fred said softly. "If we're bad…do you hit us or lock us up?"

Hawk frowned. "No," He said firmly. "I think you all have been hit enough. And as for the locking up part, well as long as you don't kill anyone we won't do that. Mind you there will be consequences for your actions. And you will have to work harder than you ever have in your entire lives, but…" He sighed and looked Fred in the eye. "No you won't be hit."

"Or put in front of a firing squad?" Fred's eyes went wide.

"No firing squads," Hawk sighed. 

"Or spank us with tasers?" Fred asked.

"Or…what?" Hawk blinked.

"Magneto did that," Lance said softly, speaking for the first time. 

Hawk looked like he was going to explode. "No," Hawk decided. "No spanking. With or without tasers! Although it's been my experience that more adults could use a good swat than kids get. Like I said, you've been hit enough." 

"Or…Or…" Fred scratched his head. "Experiments with wires and weird tubes and…"

"For crying out loud son," Hawk moaned. "Who do you think we are? Not every secret organization does experimentation like that you know!" 

Hawk looked at them. "I know this is all hard to take in. So I'll let you discuss your options. I'll send for Wanda to join you. Remember, not a word about You-Know-What! Okay?" 

"Yeah we got it," Pietro sighed. He waited until Hawk left before talking again. "Well this is a fine mess we're in! Now what do we do?"

"Well why can't we stay here?" Fred asked. 

"Are you serious?" Pietro snapped. 

"Well yeah," Fred was starting to get annoyed. "I mean it doesn't seem so bad here. I mean if Toad can live here, why can't we?"

"Because they're humans Freddy!" Pietro snapped. "Soldiers! Remember!"

"Well would you rather be in jail?" Fred snapped.

"No," Pietro huffed. "And I don't wanna go to the X-Geeks. But…I don't know!" He hit the pillow with his fist. "I don't know what to do!" 

"Lance you've been pretty quiet," Fred said. "What do you think we should do?" 

"I think," Lance said softly. "We should stay. It's not as if we have anywhere else to go." 

Pietro stared at him in shock. "What did they do to you? This isn't like you!" 

"They didn't do anything Pietro!" Fred snapped. "Don't you remember what Magneto did to him?"

"Remember it? Magneto practically bragged about it!" Pietro snapped back. "How could I forget it?" 

"I'm just tired," Lance said passively. "Tired of being lied to and used. Tired of all the hurt and the pain. I'm tired of people treating me like I'm expendable. I can't fight anymore. It's not so bad here. I think Fred's right. It's going to be okay. Spirit…the guy who brought me here; he's not so bad. For the first time in a long while I feel…safe." He closed his eyes and put his head into his hands. 

"Lance…" Pietro said softly.

Fred gently ruffled Lance's hair. "Magneto messed us all up pretty good," He said softly. "We just gotta rest and heal you know? I mean look at Toad. I've never seen the little guy so happy. Okay maybe we shouldn't trust them all completely but that Hawk guy seems to be on the level." 

"Maybe," Pietro groaned. "But can we really trust them?"

"What choice do we have?" Fred asked. "It's not like we got a lot of options you know." 

_This is all my fault, _Pietro thought. _If I'd been some kind of leader we wouldn't be in this mess! At the mercy of these humans! If I'd done something sooner, anything we'd be okay. I don't know what to do anymore. I just don't know what to do…._


	6. Comforting a Brother in Need

**Comforting a Brother In Need**

"So what'dya think of the dojo?" Todd asked Wanda as he wheeled her back to the room. Althea had stayed behind to help Scarlet look after her sisters.

"Interesting," She admitted. "Does the Blind Master always juggle chainsaws?"

"I think he just likes to show off," Todd smirked. He frowned as he heard angry voices coming from the hospital room. "What's going on?" 

"I can't believe you said that!" Fred's voice rang out. "You actually want to stay with those losers?"

"I didn't say that!" Pietro snapped as they walked in. "All I said was maybe we should at least consider going to the X-Men that's all! At least they're mutants!"

"Yeah well so was Magneto and his group and we all know how well that worked out!" Fred snapped. "They'd never accept us Pietro! They would keep tabs on us every second we were there! They'd never trust us!"

"Oh yeah and they'd let us have the run of the place here?" Pietro snapped.

"What's going on?" Wanda asked. 

"The Joes made an offer for us to stay here but Pietro wants to go to the X-Geeks!" Fred snapped. 

"You gotta be kidding me?" Wanda asked. 

"But you just got here!" Todd said. "Don't you want us all to be together again?"

"Bingo!" Fred said. "And that Pietro is the best reason for all of us to stay here! I don't know about you but I'm tired of always being split up from my friends!" 

"Yeah well you have a point there," Pietro sighed. 

"Look Pietro I know you're pretty freaked out about all this but if you think about it we are better off with the Joes than the X-Geeks," Todd told him. "For one thing, the Joes don't look down at us cause we're mutants and stuff. They don't have their noses in the air and stuff like that. A lot of 'em come from poor families too so they ain't gonna treat you like your garbage or something."

"That makes sense," Fred said. "And from what I've seen they don't seem the type to hold our pasts against us."

"No," Todd told them. "Heck they even have a few former Cobras working here so they're the last ones to hold a grudge." 

"What do you think Wanda?" Pietro asked. 

"I think Toad's right," Wanda said. "These people seem okay. I was just out with Toad and Althea at their dojo. I watched a bit of their lessons. It doesn't seem so bad here. Okay the triplets are a little weird…" 

"What do you think Lance?" Pietro asked. 

Lance just sat there, his head hung down. "Whatever," He muttered. "I don't care anymore." 

Todd looked at the others. He had never seen Lance look so lost and alone. "Lance can I talk to you a sec?" Todd asked. "In private?" 

Lance nodded and went out in the hall with him. Todd closed the door so they could have some privacy. Lance said nothing, but sat down on a nearby bench. Todd sat down next to him. "Lance you can tell me what's wrong," Todd said seriously.

Lance said nothing. "You feel like you're useless don't you?" Todd said softly. "Like nothing you ever did mattered. Right now, you're all alone, trapped in a place with hundreds of people around you and you ain't never gonna get out. And you're ashamed of how weak and pathetic you feel. But you can't help it. And you'd do anything to have someone take the pain and the shame away." 

"How…?" Lance asked.

"I recognized that look on your face," Todd told him. "Saw it in a mirror once. Lance listen to me. Now I need you to promise me something. First I gotta know, do you trust me? I mean do you really trust me?" 

Lance stared at him. "Yes."

"Good," Todd nodded. "Cause what I'm gonna tell you is gonna seem like the most impossible thing in the world right now. But believe me, I know what I'm saying. Now you gotta promise me you'll do what I tell you to. Promise me."

"I…I promise Todd. Whatever it is, I'll do it."

"I'm gonna hold you to that," Todd put his arm around Lance's shoulder. "Now listen up, I want you to trust the Joes."

"What?" 

"That's right," Todd said. "I'm telling you to do the **one** thing you learned **not** to do when you went to a foster home! You have to trust them and let them get to know you. Allow them to be kind to you and open up to them. Let them take care of you and you have to try to learn to care for them. Got it?"

"Todd…I…" Lance stammered. 

"Listen to me," Todd said. "I know you've always tried to be like a big brother to me. But now it's my turn to look out for you. So listen up, these people ain't like those we've left behind. They ain't gonna lie to you and use you like Magneto did. Now you're gonna do what I say now cause I know better about stuff like this than you do. Spirit's a good guy, you can learn a lot from him, okay?" 

Todd gently hugged Lance close to him. Tears were leaking from Lance's eyes. "It's my turn to take care of you now," Todd said softly. "So you just rest and be the weak one now. Okay? I'm strong enough for all of us now. I'll take care of you." 

Lance closed his eyes as Todd touched his forehead to his. The tears were flowing freely. "I…I don't know what to do anymore. What's going to happen to me?" 

"Listen," Todd told him. "Now when I…remembered things. I was really messed up. I needed help. I wasn't locked up or anything. More like, I had to stay away from everyone you know? Only Roadblock was allowed to be with me. I needed to get better. They had me training during the day and the therapy stuff at night. It was tough, but it made me stronger." 

Lance looked at him with a surprised look. "Is that what's going to happen to me? I can't be alone anymore. I don't want to be alone anymore!" He sobbed again. Todd held him. 

"It's going to be okay buddy," Todd said softly, a steely determination shone in his eyes. "I'm going to take care of you now. I promise." 


	7. Todd Takes Charge

**Todd Takes Charge**

A few minutes later Todd and a very haggard Lance walked back into the room. "Lance?" Pietro asked gently. "Are you okay?"

Lance shook his head. "Lance needs a lot of help," Todd explained. "Magneto really did a number on him."

"Wasn't exactly treating me with kid gloves either," Pietro grumbled.

"Shut up Pietro!" Wanda snapped. "What's wrong with him?"

"He just needs to…rest for a bit," Todd chose his words carefully. "Needs some time to himself. I'll talk to Lifeline and Psyche-Out about it. Don't worry." 

"What do you mean?" Pietro snapped. "What are they gonna do to him?"

"Nothing that I haven't already been through myself," Todd told him. 

"You're asking Lance to voluntarily put himself in some kind of…" Pietro struggled to think of the right words. "Isolation? Who knows what they'll do to him there! What if he's brainwashed or something?"

"Look," Todd said. "They don't do that here, okay? How many freaking times do I have to tell ya that? If you're really worried we'll use Polly to check up on him."

"Polly?" Wanda asked. "You mean that insane feather duster?"

"Sure," Todd nodded "We just send him over to check things out and if Lance needs anything he'll send us a message. No problem. I've done it before."

"Well that does make sense," Fred scratched his head. 

"Nothing makes sense!" Pietro snapped. "I can't believe you are all talking about trusting humans! Don't you remember what happened in Chicago? What those cops did to that mutant? Or did they not tell you about that Toad?" 

"I haven't forgotten that," Todd told him. "I remember talking to Psyche-Out about that. I will never forget that. But that doesn't mean that every human is out to kill us. I mean the Joes are proof of that!" 

"The only proof I see is that they've totally brainwashed you," Pietro grumbled. 

"I'm gonna forget you said that Pietro cause you don't know no better," Todd told him. "But I don't want to hear any more garbage like that from you again! You hear me? These people are putting a lot on the line for you so zip your lip!"

"What do you mean?" Fred asked.

"Didn't it ever occur to you guys that legally we ain't supposed to **be** here?" Todd told them. "The government has a certain department to study mutants, but the Joes don't want us to be studied or worse!"

"What?" Pietro blinked. "I don't get it. Why are they keeping us here then?"

"Because they don't want us to get hurt that's why!" Todd snapped.

"Why would humans care about mutants?" Fred asked. 

"A long time ago there was this Cobra lab on this island called Moreausseau," Todd told them. "They did terrible things there. I don't know exactly what they were but from what I sniffed out it was pretty bad. The Joes liberated that island and saw for themselves what happened. There were only a handful of survivors. But that ain't the worst of it." 

"What happened?" Pietro asked, dreading what was coming.

"There was this other general see," Todd's eyes narrowed. "He was put in charge of the survivors. He told Hawk he was gonna look after them but instead he killed them. That really made Hawk mad, not to mention the rest of the Joes. From that day on they swore that would never happen again. These people have seen too much death and destruction to wish that on any mutant."

Todd stood up straight. "Listen up. I'm making a decision here. Magneto's tried to split us up time and time again, but he hasn't succeeded. And I'll be damned if we get spilt up now. The best way for all of us is to stay together here. Yeah there are rules and these guys are strict. But they ain't gonna beat us here. And they want us to stay together. So here's what I'm gonna do." He looked at Lance. "Lance ain't in no shape to lead us, and you haven't done that great a job Pietro." At this Pietro turned his head away. "So as of now…I'm in charge. Capice?"

"You?" Fred looked at him. "Our leader?"

"Yeah," Todd snapped. "For now anyway. Until either Lance gets better or someone else is put in charge."

"Why you?" Pietro asked.

"Because I know the score around here," Todd looked at him straight in the eye. "I know what's expected of us and what we're supposed to do and what we're not supposed to do! And don't think for a moment they're gonna go easy on us. They may not wanna hit us, but they have ways of making us work our butts off if you get my drift! I know who to talk to and trust and who to stay away from. So if you wanna make this stay as painless as possible, you are gonna listen to me and do what I say! Got it?" 

Todd glared at a silent Pietro. "I mean it Pietro," Todd told him. "I ain't gonna have you disrespecting my friends. I have no problem with giving you a few whacks myself if you act up! I know you. The last thing you need is to cop an attitude around here!"

Pietro frowned and looked away. "Look at me Pietro!" Todd said, a newfound authority in his voice. Pietro reluctantly looked at him. "Don't you want to get better? What about Lance and Wanda? Don't you want them to get well too?" 

"Yeah," Pietro said quietly.

"And don't forget Freddy," Todd reminded him. "You remember when he was captured by Trask? Do you want him to end up in a government lab someplace? Do you?" 

"No," Pietro shook his head. 

Todd's voice softened. "Believe me Pietro, I know exactly how you're feeling. All the more reason you have to trust me. I've been there myself. Do you know what I'm saying?" 

"Okay," Pietro sighed. "You win. We stay here." 

"And?" Todd folded his arms.

"And…I'll behave myself," Pietro groaned. "Satisfied Fearless Leader?" 

"Yeah," Todd lightly punched him in the arm. "Now I'm gonna hold you to that."

"So what's gonna happen now?" Wanda asked.

"Well they're probably gonna make you and Pietro stay in the hospital wing for a bit," Todd scratched his head. "Freddy will stay with me and Lance…" He stopped and looked at Lance. "Lance?"

Lance looked up. Todd walked over to him. "This ain't gonna be easy," Todd told him. "There's gonna be nights when you think you wanna die. I know. Your body will be pushed to the limit during the day and your mind will be pushed to the limit at night. But you have to do it in order to get well again. Understand?" 

Lance turned his head away, ashamed of how weak he had become. "It's your decision Lance," Todd said gently. "Nobody's gonna force you."

"I…" Lance looked at him. "I want to get better. I…I need help."

"Good," Todd nodded. "It's gonna be okay. I guess I'd better tell all of you that they're gonna make you see the shrink here. But he's a good guy. So don't worry about it."

"We know," Pietro said. "They told us."

"There's something else you ought to know," Todd sighed. "Sooner or later they wanna know what went on in that Asteroid M up there. Magneto's plans, who his allies are, his technology, the works. You guys are gonna feel like the biggest rats in history but you gotta tell them everything. You can't let Magneto get away with what he did to you. Understand?"

"Yeah," Wanda sighed. "We understand Toad. We'll tell them what they wanna know."

"Okay," Todd nodded. "Guys, I'm gonna take Lance to see Lifeline now. You probably won't see him for a little while. But it won't be long. I promise. Just you know…"

"Yeah," Pietro nodded. "Take it easy Lance. Okay?"

"Just get better," Wanda told him. "We want you back."

"I'm gonna miss you!" Fred hugged him gently. 

"I'll miss you too," Lance sniffed. 

"Aw come on, he ain't leaving forever yo," Todd told them. "It won't be long. I promise. Come on buddy," He gently led Lance down the hall. 

************************************************************************

"And as you can see for yourself General there is evidence of previous beatings not too long ago," Lifeline showed Hawk the folder. Lifeline had been going over his report on the former members of the Brotherhood with him. "There are even some evidence of burn marks on their backs. Some kind of electric object was applied to them." 

"Animals," Hawk clenched his fists in fury. "Those monsters! When I get my hands on them…" 

There was a knock at the door. "Come in," Hawk said. He looked in surprise as Todd and Lance walked in. "Did you decide yet?"

"They're gonna stay general," Todd told them. "Don't worry. I explained things to them real good."

"I see," Hawk nodded. He looked at Lance. Something was clearly wrong with him. "Something wrong kid?" 

Lance looked up. "I…I need help," He said hesitantly. "Please."

"Lance is real messed up yo," Todd said. "You gotta do something. Like what you did for me."

"Lance," Lifeline put a hand on his shoulder. "Would you like to sit down for a while?"

Lance nodded feebly and sat down. Lifeline hit his communicator. "Psyche-Out, Spirit I'd like to talk to you for a bit if I may."

"We will be right there," Spirit's voice rang over the communicator. 

"Toad, General if you don't mind," Lifeline said.

"Of course," Hawk nodded. He looked at Lance and gently put his hand on his shoulder. "You're doing the right thing son. It will be hard, but if anyone can help you, we will. I promise." 

"Don't worry," Lifeline told him. "He'll be in good hands."

"That's right," Todd gave Lance a hug. "Now you be good okay Buddy? I'll see you around. Remember what I told you. Now I'm gonna hold you to that promise, okay?" 

Lance nodded. "Good," Todd said. "See ya buddy." He went off with Hawk.

"He's gonna be okay right?" Todd asked Hawk as they walked down the corridor. "You're gonna help him like you helped me?" 

"Of course we will," Hawk told him.

"Don't be too mad at them for acting up and stuff," Todd told him. "They don't know no better. They have trouble believing that humans can be nice. Like I was."

"I remember," Hawk nodded.

"Don't worry," Todd said. "I straightened them out. They'll be good. Even Pietro. Course, he may not last long, knowing him. But if he does I'll straighten him out!"

"Really? That's good to know," Hawk looked at him wryly. "You really care about them don't you?"

"Before Roadblock and Althea and everyone, they were the only family I ever knew," Todd told him. "They ain't bad. Really they're not. They just don't know anything else that's all. They made a lot of mistakes but…deep down, they ain't evil or anything." 

"I know Toad," Hawk put his hand on his shoulder. "We'll do what we can to straighten them out. I promise." 

**Next up: Fred's first day of training. Lots of fun and new friends for Freddy! Oh yeah, and a few things get wrecked as well. **


	8. Fred's First Day

**Fred's First Day of Training**

It was early in the morning. Fred was dressed in his usual uniform. Todd was wearing his new black one. They were both on their way to the training area. "Now remember," Todd told him. "Just do as he says and don't give him no lip! Got it?"

Fred nodded. He didn't want to screw up his first day of training. He stood at attention with a stone face when they got to the obstacle course. Roadblock glared at them with his sternest look. "All right you two!" He shouted. "It's my job to somehow make men out of you! Now we are gonna get to it! Your first task is the obstacle course, go through it! Toad!"

"Sir! Yes Sir!" Todd shouted out loud. 

"You go through and show Blob what to do!" Roadblock ordered. He blew a whistle. "Move it!" 

Todd ran for his life. He climbed over a wall with ease. Then he hopped through the tires, over barbed wire, past a swinging log and several other obstacles with ease. "Seven minutes flat," Roadblock timed him. "Okay Blob, let's see you beat that! Go!" 

Fred let out a yell and charged through the obstacle course. That's right. Through the obstacle course. He ran through the wall, sent the tires flying and anything else that got in his way, leaving behind nothing but destruction. Roadblock stood there in shock. "So how did I do?" Fred asked. 

"Well he did go through the obstacles," Todd said. 

"That's not what I meant!" Roadblock shouted. He calmed down. "Let's move on to something else shall we? Let's go to the weight room. Why do I have this feeling of doom?" They went inside. 

"Huh, this will be a piece of cake," Fred grinned, rubbing his hands. 

"You think so?" Roadblock looked at him. 

"Bring it on!" Fred crowed. Then he remembered himself. "Oh I mean bring it on Sir!" 

"Well let's see what you can do," Roadblock motioned to the heaviest barbells.

"Watch this!" Fred lifted them with one hand over his head. "I can even twirl them around!" He did so. Unfortunately they slipped out of his hands and right into the wall. 

"Oops," Fred gulped as he looked at the hole in the wall. "Sorry about that."

"Uh…try the punching back next," Roadblock groaned. Fred did so and knocked it off the stand across the room. It hit a Joe walking into the room right in the face.

"Sorry," Fred gulped. 

"I'm okay," Bazooka moaned weakly. "It only hit me in the head." 

"Lucky for you," Alpine quipped. He and two other Joes, Gung Ho and Stalker were there as well." 

"Hey I remember you," Fred said. "You were the janitor at Bayville!" 

"He's talking to you lamebrain!" Alpine groaned when Bazooka didn't respond. 

"Oh yeah, I was," Bazooka nodded as Fred helped him up. "Nice to see you again." 

"Yeah these guys are also friends of mine," Todd told him. "That's Alpine, Bazooka, Gung Ho and uh…" He looked at Stalker.

"I'm Stalker," He smiled. "I've been on assignments so Toad and I haven't gotten to know each other yet." 

"Hi," Todd said. "How are you doin'?" 

"Up until now, fine," Bazooka groaned, holding his head. 

"We were going to hit the weight room," Stalker said. Then he noticed the hole in the wall. "But I see you guys have already beaten us to it."

"Humph!" Gung Ho inspected it. "Not bad. But I could make a bigger one."

"No you could not!" Alpine said.

"Yes I can!" Gung Ho said. 

"No you can't!" Alpine snapped.

"Of course he could," Bazooka said. "All he needs is a little dynamite and…"

"He's talking without dynamite," Alpine snapped. "Prove it!" 

"Stand back," Gung Ho flexed his muscles. 

"NO GUNG HO!" Roadblock shouted. Too late, Gung Ho used his bare fist and punched a small hole through the wall. 

"It's still too small," Bazooka said. "It's not as big as Blob's."

"Yeah but it's still pretty good," Todd said. 

"Well I did use weights," Fred said. "Here let me do it without a weight…" 

"NOOOOOO!" Roadblock shouted. Again he was too late. 

"Wow," Gung Ho looked at the second hole. "That is impressive." 

"Now I remember why I keep requesting assignments off base," Stalker sighed. 

"Excuse me?" A Joe named Low Light popped his head through the other side of the wall. "Do you mind? I'm trying to take a shower in here!" 

"Sorry Low Light," Todd said.

"You're sorry?" Low Light snapped. "Now there's a draft in here! How am I supposed to take a shower without getting pneumonia?" 

"Why me?" Roadblock started banging his head against a wall. "Why? Why? Why?" 

************************************************************************

"Look at the bright side Freddy," Todd told him. "At least you got through the obstacle course on your first day. I couldn't even do that."

"I don't think Roadblock was too happy about that though," Fred sighed as they went into the dojo. "So now we do ninja training? I don't know if I can do this. I mean I'm kind of big for a ninja." He and Todd were now wearing white training uniforms. 

"Just give it a try Blob," Todd told him. "At least you're strong enough to do it."

"It's about time you got here!" Althea waved as they walked in. "What kept you guys?"

"Freddy here had to help clean up the weight room," Todd smirked. 

"I didn't mean to make all those holes in the wall," Fred grumbled. 

"Don't worry Freddy," Todd said. "Hey you remember my girl, don't you?" 

"Um…Hello," Fred said shyly. "Uh…look about what happened before…" 

"Forget about it," Althea waved. "It was Magneto controlling you. Besides you had nothing to do with my brother getting kidnapped. And if Todd can forgive you, well so can I." 

"Thanks," Fred said sheepishly. They went inside where her sisters were. "So you train here?"

"Usually," Althea nodded. 

"I wonder if they're gonna move us for a while when they're training Lance?" Todd wondered. "They did that with me."

"No," She shook her head. "I heard they moved him to another section of the base. Spirit is gonna train with him." 

"Oh," Fred looked around the dojo. "Wow…I've never been in a real ninja place before."

"It's called a dojo dodo," Daria said.

"Watch it!" Todd snapped.

"Hey!" Althea elbowed her. "I thought we discussed this! Be nice!" 

"Hey you said treat him like family," Daria told her.

"She's got a point," Quinn said. 

"That's enough," A black man wearing sunglasses and carrying a cane walked in. He was wearing a white and black ninja uniform. "I see we have a new pupil today."

"Good morning Sensei," They all said in unison and bowed. Except for Fred. Todd elbowed him.

"Oh," Fred caught on and bowed quickly. "Morning Sense-ee."

"Sens-say!" Daria rolled her eyes, pronouncing it. "Not sense-ee!" 

"What does that mean?" Fred asked.

"It means 'Teacher' or Master," Brittany said. "I get them confused. Either way he's the boss so show him some respect!"

"You should practice what you preach Brittany," The man grinned. "I am Gabriel Moore. But I am known as the Blind Master." 

"Why is…" He caught sight of the glasses and the cane. "Oh. You're blind?"

"Observant isn't he?" Daria snickered. 

"I may not see with my eyes," The Blind Master told him. "But I perceive more with my senses than most sighted people do." 

"So you're kind of like a mutant?" Fred asked.

"Not really," He shook his head. "All human beings are capable of extraordinary feats if they are trained properly. The majority isn't. My job is to instill that training in both the Joes and the children here." 

"So you're the one who teaches us how to pound people?" Fred asked.

"No…no," The Blind Master let out a sigh that indicated he was in for a rather long day. "We teach discipline and how to learn to control our actions. We learn harmony in our minds and bodies and attain oneness."

"Yeah and then we learn how to beat people up," Todd said.

"Okay," The Blind Master groaned. "Why don't we get started shall we? Fred try to do what they do." 

Fred tried to copy the movements of Toad and the others, only to fall flat on his behind several times. "Keep trying," The Blind Master told him. "In the long run, it does not matter how many times we fall, but how many times we get up." 

"I think I'm gonna be getting up a lot by the looks of it," Fred grumbled. 

Todd and the others did several flips and leapt onto and off a balance beam. Fred looked at the Blind Master. "Uh…Maybe you should skip that one," The Blind Master said.

"I don't think I'm ninja material," Fred sighed. 

"Maybe you're more of a samurai," The Blind Master told him.

"More like a sumo wrestler," Daria snickered.

"I heard that young lady!" The Blind Master snapped. "Twenty back flips! Now!" 

Daria obeyed him. The Blind Master went back to Fred. "In order to truly learn the way of the warrior, you must learn to master yourself. All of you, sit down. I think it's time for a refresher course."

They all sat in a semi circle around him. "Honor and duty are the cornerstone of the way of the warrior," He told them. "Clear your mind of thoughts and meditate on my words. Daria don't say it!" He said. "You must learn to control your emotions. To maintain the balance of honor and justice. To be one with your powers…."

He was startled by the sound of snoring. "To stay awake during meditation…" The Blind Master groaned. Fred had fallen asleep.

"Now deep down didn't we all know that was coming?" Daria said. 

A second snore startled him. He realized Todd had fallen asleep as well. "Oh boy," The Blind Master sighed. "This…is going to take a while." 

************************************************************************

Much later on in the day, Roadblock was at Shipwreck's house. They had all decided on having dinner there. Roadblock mostly because he needed someone to complain to. "Then after the training was lunchtime. I don't think I need to tell you how **that **went. BA's still in shock." 

"I have a feeling you're gonna see a repeat performance tonight," Shipwreck chuckled. "How'd his schooling go?"

"Oh lord…"Roadblock groaned. 

"How bad is he?" Shipwreck asked.

"Let me put it to you this way," Roadblock groaned. "If he studies real hard he'll be able to pass the GED's….In about ten years." 

"Ouch," Shipwreck winced.

"I thought Todd was a challenge," Roadblock sighed. "Taking care of one mutant is hard enough, but two at a time is extra rough!" 

"Yeah and soon we'll have the other three with us," Shipwreck told him. "Not to mention all my kids." 

"Thanks for reminding me," Roadblock sighed. "He's not really so bad. I think deep down he's an okay kid. He's a hard worker. He's never had anyone be nice to him before. To him being a bully was his only defense against people laughing at him because of his size." 

"Well nobody said this was going to be an easy job," Shipwreck said. "So you see the plans yet for the new house?"

"They're gonna add on to this one right?" Roadblock said.

"Yeah a few minor alterations," Shipwreck said. "Expand the kitchen a bit, make about a dozen extra rooms here, a secret training area there. A place for things like missiles and stuff. The usual." 

"Good," Roadblock said. "Here's what Hawk told me, when the kids are all healed up we're going to take them to another base to train for a while until the house is finished." 

"Let me guess, the Slaughterhouse?" Shipwreck raised an eyebrow.

"Well these kids need the discipline," Roadblock said. "Besides, it's isolated and safer for them." 

"Cobra's already snooping around aren't they?" Shipwreck asked.

"And I think it's to hide them from the Pentagon" Roadblock sighed. "I think Hawk's working on some kind of deal with General Flagg but I'm not sure of the details yet."

"Think that the Jugglers will get wind of this and try to take the kids?" Shipwreck's tone was serious. "They tried to do that before with Althea…"

"You know Hawk would never let them get their hands on them," Roadblock told him. "Besides, some of them are on our side now. Hawk managed to get the worst ones kicked out and replaced them with some of our friends."

"That doesn't mean that they won't become our enemies," Shipwreck told him. "You know as well as I do how much power corrupts." 

"And absolute power corrupts absolutely," Roadblock nodded. "I know. We just have to watch our backs."

"And don't forget that Bragg is out there," Shipwreck said. "He may not be a Juggler, but he's still a threat. Remember what he did at Moreauseau?" 

"I don't think any of us could forget that," Roadblock clenched his fists.

"I still say he had some reason for killing them," Shipwreck's eyes narrowed. "And it wasn't simply because of any prejudice. Those mutants must have known something. Or maybe he thought they knew something."

"You believe that he had a hand in that lab don't you?" Roadblock asked.

"I'd bet the seven seas on it," Shipwreck said. "If only we had more evidence! But one man's…." He stopped himself.

"What?" Roadblock asked.

"Nothing," Shipwreck sighed. 

"You know something don't you?" Roadblock asked.

"It ain't my place to say," Shipwreck said. "Don't ask me any more." 

A loud explosion shook the house. "What the heck?" Roadblock startled. "I wasn't expecting this until we got Lance here!" 

"Three guesses who's responsible?" Shipwreck sighed. "GIRLS!" 

They ran upstairs. Todd and Althea had come out of her room and were already staring at the Triplet's room in shock. The girls were arguing with each other in the rubble of their lab while Fred was sitting there with a shocked look on his face, covered in soot. 

"I told you we put in too much nitroglycerine!" Daria snapped. 

"Hey I'm not the one that let the Blob near them!" Quinn snapped.

"This is why we need to take more safety precautions!" Brittany shouted. "But nooooooo. You two…" 

"WHAT HAPPENED IN HERE?" Shipwreck shouted. "YOU GIRLS WERE TRYING TO MAKE DYNAMITE AGAIN, WEREN'T YOU?" 

"Freddy, yo you okay?" Todd asked.

"I think so," Fred coughed. "At times like this I'm lucky I have invulnerable skin."

"In more ways than one," Shipwreck glared. "Now what happened? I want answers!"

"They told me it was a science project!" Fred pointed. 

"Well technically it was," Brittany said. 

"I was just trying to do some extra credit," Fred said. "They told me this would do it!"

"Squealer!" Quinn snapped. 

"Okay," Shipwreck groaned. "I think I get the picture! All right, Althea, Todd I want the two of you to take all their lab equipment and pack it up in the basement where it is going to stay for the next two weeks!"

"What?" Brittany shouted.

"You can't do that!" Daria shouted.

"Watch me!" Shipwreck growled. "Any more back talk and it will be a month! Understand?" 

"Hey at least we weren't experimenting like those two!" Daria pointed to Todd and Althea.

"You little liar!" Althea snapped. "You just want to drag us down with you too!"

"Todd and Althea sitting in a tree…." Quinn mocked.

"SHUT UP!" Althea shouted.

"Shipwreck I swear we weren't doin' nothing like that!" Todd said rapidly. "We were doing homework! Honest!"

"Oh I'll bet," Brittany snickered.

"It's true!" Althea snapped. 

"Look!" Todd ran into the other room and came back with some paperwork. "See! Look at our work! We were just minding our own business! Honest! I'd never take advantage of Althea like that!"

"More like the other way around," Brittany snapped.

"Why you little…" Althea made a move to hit her.

"ATTEN-HUT!" Shipwreck shouted with such authority in his voice they all stood at attention. Even Fred. "Now based on the evidence here I believe Todd and Althea. And because of this your lab is now going to stay in storage for a whole month! Hopefully that will teach you not to spread lies!"

"But…" Quinn started.

A withering glare from Shipwreck shut her up. "In addition you three are also going to do all of Althea's chores for this month as well **and** have KP duty for the same amount of time! That will keep the three of you occupied for a while."

"HA!" Althea said. "Serves you right!" 

Shipwreck shot her a look that made her keep her mouth shut. "Now I want the three of you to apologize to Fred, Todd and Althea right now!"

"We're sorry…" Brittany sighed.

"And why are you sorry?" Shipwreck asked. 

"Because we got caught," Quinn said.

"THAT'S IT!" Shipwreck shouted. "Downstairs! The two of you are going to stand in the corners until dinner! And no desert for you!" 

"What, you wanted us to lie?" Brittany shouted as Roadblock marched them downstairs. 

"Now," Shipwreck sighed. "I know you two are telling the truth, but I just want to make sure the two of you remember the deal we made."

"Relax Dad," Althea sighed. "We're not gonna do it until we get older. We promised we'd wait."

"Well personally I'd like you two to wait until you're forty but I'll settle when you two are at the legal age in this state, which is seventeen," Shipwreck sighed. 

"Don't worry Shipwreck," Todd said. "I said I'd never take advantage of your daughter."

"Well like Brittany said it's not **you** I'm worried about," Shipwreck groaned. "You two start boxing this stuff up while I get Fred here cleaned up. Come on kid," He led Fred to the bathroom and helped him wipe off the soot.

"I'm real sorry I wrecked your house Shipwreck," Fred looked like he was about to bawl. "Honest I am!" 

"Oh well," Shipwreck sighed. "So what's one or two minor explosions around here? It's not your fault kid. I should have warned you that the triplets might take advantage of you." 

"Thanks," Fred sighed as he cleaned himself off. "You know for an adult, you're not so mean."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Shipwreck smirked. 

"I'm sorry about…Magneto," Fred said sheepishly. 

"You had nothing to do with that," Shipwreck told him. "Forget about it, okay? Come on, why don't you help me in the kitchen?" 

Fred followed him. "Now why don't we get back to making some good old fashioned…WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU CRAZY BIRD?" Shipwreck shouted as he saw the parrot gulping down the chili from the pot. 

"AWK!" Polly cackled. "Polly loves his chili!"

"I hope you also love the heartburn you are gonna get!" Shipwreck snapped. "How did you get out of my room? I thought I'd locked you up in there?"

"Uh…" Fred fidgeted. "That's my fault. He was crying and sounded so sad so I thought…." 

"Oh brother," Shipwreck sighed. "There's feathers all over it! Roadblock, you wanna do me a favor and order us a couple of dozen pizzas?" 

************************************************************************

Back in the apartment that evening, Roadblock was taking some much-needed aspirin when there was a knock at the door. He saw Fred standing there in his new pajamas, looking very nervous. "Fred why aren't you in bed?" He asked. 

"Are you mad at me?" Fred asked cautiously.

"Well," Roadblock sighed. "Let's just say it's been an interesting day. At least you didn't take a joyride in a tank." 

"I didn't mean to wreck the obstacle course," Fred fidgeted. "I just wanted to do good." 

"Do well. You wanted to do well." 

"That too," Fred said. "I really don't mean to screw things up. I wanna fit in here. Really I do."

"Oh you fit in on this base kid," Roadblock groaned. "Trust me. Fitting in here is the least of your problems."

"It's just that I can't help being dumb," Fred told him. 

"You are not…" Roadblock decided to rephrase his words. "As dumb as you think you are. You just have to learn to think before you act. Okay?"

"Okay," Fred shrugged. "I'll work harder tomorrow Roadblock I promise! Good night." 

"Oh god we gotta do this again tomorrow," Roadblock groaned. "Lord give me strength!" 

**Next up, A restless night where several people muse over different things and of course something happens. So what else is new? **


	9. Conversations at Night

**Conversations at Night**

"Are you sure he's not mad at me?" Fred asked Todd. 

"Sure I'm sure," Todd told him. "Believe me, if he was really mad, you'd know! Don't worry. You did okay for your first day. It will get better. Trust me. Look at it this way, you can at least last longer than the X-Geeks! They didn't even make it for the full two weeks they were supposed to be here!" 

"They didn't?" Fred asked. "For some reason that's not a shock to me. Figures they'd take the easy way out. Course they got that fancy mansion and the rich guy to hide behind." 

"Ah we're better off here," Todd waved. 

"Yeah," Fred scratched his head. "Most of 'em didn't seem so bad. I like Shipwreck. He seems okay for an adult." 

"Yeah they don't got their noses stuck up in the air or nothin," Todd told him. "Don't worry Freddy. Hey you should have seen how bad I screwed up my first day!" He lightly punched Fred in the shoulder. "Don't worry buddy. You'll get better." 

"You think so?" Fred asked. 

"I know so," Todd nodded. 

"Thanks buddy," Fred sighed. "I feel better."

"Anytime," Todd waved.

"Toad can I ask you something?" Fred said. "Just between us guys…you and Althea really weren't doing anything, right?" 

"Well…" Todd looked back at the door. His voice dropped to a whisper. "Technically no."

"Technically?"

"Shhh, keep your voice down!" Todd hushed him. "I mean…we did do some kissing but not the way they made it out to be. We kind of…well it was like an incentive for doing homework." 

"What kind of incentive?" Fred whispered. "I won't tell!"

"Okay, but this just stays between you and me, got it?" Todd whispered. "Not even Pietro or Lance knows about it and I don't want Althea to know you know."

"I swear Toad!" Fred held up his hand. "Scouts honor!" 

"Swear the oath?" Todd asked. "What I say I shall not speak…"

"What I say I shall not speak," Fred repeated the oath that had been created when they were back in the Brotherhood.

"And if I do, I turn into an X-Geek," Todd said.

"And if I do, I turn into an X-Geek," Fred repeated. This was followed with a few hand gestures and a clasping of the hands. "Okay now spill!" 

"Well if we did a certain number of problems and stuff, we got to kiss each other," Todd told him. "Like a quick peck. No big deal."

"That doesn't sound so bad," Fred sounded disappointed. 

"There's more," Todd said. "After we finished a section perfectly, and I mean perfectly…she'd let me touch her. Through her shirt mind you."

"You mean…?" Fred's eyes were wide as he pointed to his breast.

"Yeah," Todd smirked. "She didn't take anything off or anything. You see we came up with this system of fooling around without actually fooling around if you get my drift."

"Oh no way," Fred said.

"Way," Todd nodded. "We kinda got in trouble before when she walked in on me while I was taking a shower. That's how I ended up on that base when the you guys and the Geek Brigade showed up. They thought we needed a cooling off period."

"She didn't!" Fred's mouth was open.

"She did," Todd smiled. "But to be fair, I did get a nice view too if you get my meaning."

"You saw her…?" Fred's jaw fell even lower.

"Uh huh," Todd smiled. 

"Sweet!" Fred laughed.

"Shhhh!" Todd shushed him. 

"Sorry!" Fred apologized. "Man Toad, you have the coolest girlfriend ever!" 

"Yeah well I wanna keep it that way so button your lip," Todd said.

"Oh it's buttoned!" Fred crossed his heart. "I swear Toad! I won't tell a soul!" 

"You'd better not," Todd moved away and started getting ready for bed. 

"Hey!" Fred noticed a picture on top of the drawer. "Who's that?" In the picture were Todd, Althea and another mutant he had never seen before. 

"What?" Todd hopped over. 

"Who's the weird looking guy?" Fred pointed to the snakelike mutant in the picture.

"Oh yeah that's Xi," Todd nodded. "I forgot you ain't met him yet. He's a mutant like us. Well not exactly. Cobra made him in a lab and he escaped. And uh…he ain't exactly a he." 

"That's a girl?" Fred asked.

"Uh no…" Todd played with his fingers. "Xi ain't a girl either. Xi doesn't have a gender. We just call Xi a he cause it's easier. Weird huh?"

"Toad you forget I once lived in a circus," Fred snorted. "Believe me, I've seen it all. So where is 'he'?" 

"In Japan," Todd told him. "He went with Stormshadow to help him take care of some business." 

"Who's Stormshadow?" Fred asked putting the picture back and getting ready for bed.

"He's a ninja!" Todd said proudly. "He taught me a lot of other stuff too! He used to work for Cobra until he found out they double-crossed him. Now he works for the Joes." 

"Boy Toad you know a lot of weird people," Fred scratched his head. "No wonder mutants ain't such a big deal around here!" 

"That's nothing," Todd waved. "Wait 'til you meet some of the other Joes around here."

"I guess," Fred sighed as he got into bed. "Better get some shut eye." 

"Yeah, night Freddy," Todd turned out the light with his tongue.

"Night Toad," Fred sighed. After a minute passed. "Toad?"

"Yeah Freddy?"

"Do you think I'll ever get a girl?"

"Hey I got one, so it's possible," Todd said.

"That's true," Fred said. "Thanks buddy. I feel better now. Good night."

"Good night." 

"Toad?"

"Yeah?"

"What's happening with Lance now?"

"He's okay Freddy. I know he is. Trust me."

"And Pietro and Wanda?"

"No problems," Todd said. "I know you're worried, but Lifeline's watching out for them. Nothing's gonna happen."

Todd had no idea how wrong he was. 

************************************************************************

Pietro sighed as he tried to fluff his pillow for the thousandth time. It had been a long day. First Lifeline shot some more healing energy into his body, which wasn't so bad. Then he took him to see their resident shrink. That was when things started to go downhill.

Pietro being Pietro had decided to have a little fun with the shrink. He deliberately said nothing when Psyche-Out started talking to him. He thought the silent treatment would make the shrink go a bit nuts. However immediately Psyche-Out shut up. And then he did the most insane thing imaginable. Psyche-Out took out a coloring book and started to color it with crayons. 

Pietro's mouth fell open. He was deliberately ignoring him. Of course Pietro couldn't stand for anyone to ignore him so he started asking what Psyche-Out was doing. He ignored him and continued coloring him as if he wasn't listening. Pietro kept asking which turned to shouting and finally he grabbed the coloring book away from him.

"HA!" Pietro crowed holding up the book in his hand. "Whatcha gonna do now?"

Psyche-Out calmly got up and walked away from Pietro. "Hey!" Pietro managed to move his wheelchair around. "Don't ignore me!" 

Then Psyche-Out started drawing on the walls. "What kind of shrink are you!" Pietro shouted. "You're supposed to be helping people and instead you're doodling on the walls with crayons like you're a four year old?" 

"I'm not the only one acting childish," Psyche-Out pointed out. 

"WHAT?" Pietro yelped.

"I can play games too," Psyche-Out told him, calmly drawing on the wall. "You don't want any help so why should I waste my time forcing myself on you? So nyahhh!" He stuck his tongue out at Pietro and then went back to doodling. 

Pietro was furious, and being stuck in that wheelchair wasn't helping. He couldn't run or get after him. "YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!" Pietro screamed.

"Says who?" Psyche-Out asked. 

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?" Pietro shouted. If he only could move out of that chair he could have torn the room apart.

"Well a little cooperation would be nice," Psyche-Out turned around. 

"And what kind of cooperation would that be?" Pietro snapped, folding his arms.

Psyche-Out sighed. "It's too soon. You're not ready yet."

"Ready?"

"You need help Pietro, but I can't help you if you don't want it. And I'm not gonna force myself on you," Psyche-Out told him. "But you can't hold out forever. You're gonna have to talk to me sooner or later." 

That was it. The next thing he knew he was back in the room. The whole day was excruciating. Wanda was gone when he came back so he had no one to talk to. He couldn't move and there was no TV around. There were a few books by his bedside, some of his old favorites and one he'd never read before so he read them. He deliberately slowed down his reading from his normal pace in order to kill time. Still he was finished with them all in two hours. 

After he finished he decided to try and take a catnap. He dozed off quite easily. The sound of thunder awakened him. He sat up, startled. "You're finally awake," Wanda was in the bed next to him. 

"Finally? I just took a nap," Pietro yawned. 

"Your 'nap' lasted nearly all day," Wanda told him. "It's night time." 

Pietro looked out the window. It was dark and starting to rain. "It can't be…" He blinked. "I didn't even think I was tired." 

"Trust me, you were out cold," Wanda was holding something in her arms. It was a black stuffed cat with wide yellow eyes and a silly grin. "You even slept through dinner." 

"What's that?" Pietro asked pointing at the object. 

"He's called Mr. Stupid," Wanda told him, hugging the stuffed cat closer. "Althea's dad gave him to me." 

"Why?" Pietro was puzzled.

"I guess he thought I'd be lonely," She shrugged. "He seems okay." 

"Wanda, what do you think about these Joes?" He asked. 

"I dunno," She shrugged. "They seem okay to me." 

"I think they're all a bunch of lunatics," Pietro grumbled. 

"Look who's talking," Wanda pointed out. "I agree with Psyche-Out. You are so totally in denial!"

"You talked to the shrink?"

"Where do you think I was half the day?" She looked at him. "It wasn't so bad. Then I went to see Hawk and he asked me stuff about Magneto and the secondary base for a couple of hours. I hope they catch that bastard." 

"You told them about the Brotherhood?" Pietro asked. "Magneto I can understand but…" 

"Why not?" Wanda snapped. "After the way they all treated us? Why shouldn't I tell them about all I know? Most of them are lunatics anyway!"

"Did you tell them about the secondary base?" Pietro asked. "And where it was?" 

"Yes," Wanda said without hesitation. Then she recanted. "No…not everything. I told them where that they were building a new base but…" She sighed and looked away. "I couldn't bring myself to tell them where it was. It just felt…wrong to tell them everything. I want to hurt Magneto, but… I don't know."

"Yeah," Pietro sighed. "I know the feeling. How can we turn on our own kind? I don't think I could ever do that." 

"I never thought of it like that," Wanda said. "Maybe…"

A knock at the door interrupted her. They looked up and saw Lifeline carrying a tray of food. Shipwreck was with him. 

"Hey there," Shipwreck nodded. "How are you feeling kid?"

"Okay I guess," Pietro sighed. "A bit hungry."

"Here," Lifeline gave him the tray with food. "This will help. I kept it warm for you." 

"What are you doing here?" Wanda asked Shipwreck.

"I just came to check up on you kids," Shipwreck told her. "You are all going to be living with me and Roadblock and a few other Joes so I thought I'd get a head start. So to speak." 

"I can't believe I slept all day," Pietro sighed as he ate. 

"Your body needs to rest and recover," Lifeline told him. "I did an x-ray while you slept, I have some good news."

"I could use some," Pietro sighed. 

"I think your bone's almost knitted together," Lifeline was surprised.

"How did that happen?" Pietro asked. 

"I think your metabolism with my abilities healed your leg faster," Lifeline told him. 

Pietro finished eating with his usual speed. "So what you're saying is that you can heal me? Fix my leg so I can get out of this cast?"

"Yes," Lifeline said.

"Can you?" Pietro asked. "I'm going crazy being stuck in here! I need to get out!"

"Well…"

"Pleeeeaaasee!" Pietro whined. "I can't take any more!" 

"I'll try," Lifeline shrugged.

"Uh…Lifeline you think that's such a good idea?" Shipwreck asked into his ear.

"I can't just let him suffer like that," Lifeline told him. 

"You're too damn softhearted you know that?" Shipwreck grumbled. "But I guess I can see your point. He needs to get his strength back so that Hawk can question him." 

"Question me?" Pietro looked at him. "About Magneto…or his base?"

"Both actually," Shipwreck sighed. "You already hear about that?"

"Yeah," Pietro said sullenly. 

Lifeline sat down next to him and put his hands on Pietro's leg. "Now this might hurt a bit," He explained before he started. 

"I'm ready," Pietro said. 

Lifeline's energy flowed through his body. Pietro let out a gasp as he felt his leg bone knit together. He felt so strange; it felt more like a leg cramp rather than an agonizing sensation. When Lifeline finished he looked at the leg. "I think it's healed now." He said. 

"I…I think you're right," Pietro blinked. "It feels normal." 

Lifeline got out a tool and cut off the cast. His leg looked perfectly normal. "Can you stand on it?" 

"I…I think so," Pietro wobbly sat up and tested it. "So far. So good…" He stood up, temporarily losing his balance. Finally he managed to stand on his two feet. "I'm better," He said in wonder. "It's not broken anymore." 

_I can walk…_He thought. _And if I can walk…_

Suddenly a huge gust filled up the room. Papers, blankets were thrown around in a gust of wind. It didn't take them long to realize that healing Pietro's leg wasn't the smartest move they ever made. 

"PIETRO!" Wanda screamed. 

************************************************************************

At the same time General Hawk was in a meeting with Duke and Psyche-Out. There was a knock at the door. "Come in," Hawk said.

Low Light entered and saluted. "You wanted to see me General?"

"Ah yes Low Light," Hawk nodded. "As you know we are putting together a permanent team of Joes to look after the kids."

"So I've heard," Low Light remarked. "So what does that have to do with me?"

"So far we've decided that Roadblock will be the team leader," Hawk consulted his files. "Shipwreck and Spirit will also be on the team as well as the Blind Master. There will be other Joes that will help out in teaching part time of course. But we're trying to put together two or three other permanent members." 

"Like I said, what does this have to do with me?" Low Light frowned. 

"Low Light I've decided that you will be one of the Joes permanently assigned to the kids," Hawk said.

"This is a joke right?" Low Light asked. 

"Nope," Psyche-Out said. "It was my idea." 

"WHAT?" Low Light shouted. "May I remind you people that my job is a marksman? I'm a trained sniper, not a babysitter!"

"Well that will come in handy when and if you have to defend the kids," Hawk said. "They need someone to protect them as well." 

"That's a lot of bull!" Low Light snarled. "You have Roadblock and Spirit and Shipwreck to protect them. Hell you even have a few ninjas around to train them! So why the hell do you need me?" He glared at them. "I know what this is really about. You can't fool me! How dumb do you think I am?"

"The nightmares have come back haven't they?" Psyche-Out said softly.

"So what?" Low Light snapped. "A few bad dreams and suddenly I'm delegated to day care?" 

"That and a few other things," Psyche-Out said. "This is for your own good Low Light. Those kids can teach you a few things as well as you teaching them." 

"I don't need any help!" Low Light snapped. 

"They think the same thing," Psyche-Out said. "See you have a lot in common. You've been hiding from your dreams way too long Low Light. It's time to face yourself." 

"You can't do this!" Low Light's fist pounded the table.

"I just did," Hawk said sternly. "Don't make this any more difficult than it has to be! Besides you owe me one, remember? Think of this as calling in that favor."

"What favor?" Duke looked puzzled.

"Nothing," Low Light snapped. "It's…personal." 

"Well now that that's done we need to go over a few more things," Hawk said. "We can fill up the remaining roster later. Right now it's this secondary base of Magneto that has me worried." 

"Psyche-Out did the kids say anything more about it?" Duke asked. 

"No, but I think they do know where that base is," Psyche-Out told him. "But they don't want to narc on their fellow mutants. It's Magneto they want to get back at."

"We have to make them tell us where that base is," Duke said. "Innocent people could get hurt if they don't!"

"Duke in their minds we're still the enemy, remember?" Psyche-Out told him. "If we force them to tell us now, any chance of their rehabilitation will be gone forever. We have to earn their trust first."

"So we have to wait?" Hawk sighed.

"In the long run we'll get a lot more information if we're patient with them," Psyche-Out sighed. "They have to realize that it's not just about mutants vs. humans. They have to learn that everyone's life could be in danger on their own." 

"But if we wait people could get hurt," Duke said. "As much as I want to help those kids we can't…" 

A blip emanated from Hawk's communicator. Hawk turned it on. "Hawk here, what is it?" 

"We got a problem!" Shipwreck groaned. "It's Pietro! Lifeline healed his leg! Big Mistake! The kid's run off!" 

**Next up, what happened with Pietro? Will he be found? Why did he run away? What will happen to him? Will this story ever have a plot? More to come! **


	10. Lost and Found

**Lost and Found**

_Gottarungottarun…_The thoughts screamed through Pietro's mind as he ran in the mud. _Gottagetawaygethelpget…nooooo! _

Pietro slipped and fell in the mud. Exhausted and panting he got to his knees. His sides were hurting. He tried to get up but he fell back down. The rain hammered against his body as it poured down. _I gotta get up! I gotta run and get help…get…help…_

After his third try he collapsed in the mud. _Why am I so weak? Why can't I get up? I gotta get up…I gotta…._

But he couldn't. Tears started to roll down his eyes. _Great move Pietro! So much for saving the others, but who's gonna save you? _

******************************************************************************

Several miles away from the base, a jeep poured through the freezing rain. "It's a good thing that we sewed a tracer in the lining of his pajamas," Shipwreck said as Lifeline drove the jeep. "It's not moving!" He pointed to the monitor. 

"He must have collapsed from exhaustion," Lifeline peered out into the night. "Low Light you're the expert in seeing things in the dark, you see anything?"

"Nothing yet," Low Light kept his eyes peeled. "Crazy kid, running out in this weather." 

"I just hope we find him before he gets into trouble," Lifeline said. 

"He's out here somewhere," Low Light looked around. "Wait! There!" He pointed to something in the distance. "Stop the jeep!" 

Lifeline stopped. Shipwreck jumped out. Huddled under a tree, Pietro lay there, soaked to the bone. His knees were pulled towards his chest and he was whimpering. "Found him!" Shipwreck shouted as he took off his rain jacket and covered the boy. He didn't fight back as Shipwreck carried him to the jeep. "We'd better get him back soon before he catches pneumonia!"

Pietro was already shaking violently. Shipwreck pulled the boy close to his body, trying to keep him as warm as possible. "Step on it Lifeline!" Lifeline tore back to the base, driving with such recklessness that even Shipwreck was impressed. 

"He doesn't look good," Low Light said. 

"Hang on, kid we'll get you back," Shipwreck said. 

When they got back to the base Shipwreck carried him to one of the bathrooms in the medical wing. While Lifeline prepared a warm bath, Shipwreck stripped the boy of his wet clothing and wrapped him in a blanket, trying to dry off some of the rainwater from his body. Pietro weakly tried to push him away, but could not. 

"Now come on," Shipwreck rubbed him vigorously. "Take it easy kid. We gotta get you warmed up." 

"Go away!" Pietro said. "Leave me alone!"

"No," Shipwreck said simply. "You know you nearly gave us a heart attack kid, running off like that! Do you have any idea how badly you could have been hurt? You're too weak to go running off like that!" 

"What do you care?" Pietro sulked. 

"I do believe it or not," Shipwreck told him. "Seeing as now I'm one of the guys responsible for your butt." He picked him up. "Come on kid, bath time." 

"No, no, no!" Pietro protested, trying to escape.

"Oh don't be such a baby!" Shipwreck snapped, unceremoniously yanking off the blanket and dumping him into the bathtub. 

"Shipwreck you go dry off," Lifeline told him. "I'll take care of this."

"Give him a good scrubbing," Shipwreck ordered. He went into the next room and stripped off his wet clothes and put on a terrycloth robe. He could hear Pietro splashing for a bit in the other room. Finally the splashing stopped. 

Shipwreck poked his head in to make sure everything was all right. Pietro was sitting dejectedly in the bathtub, allowing Lifeline to bathe him. "There now," Lifeline was scrubbing his back with a brush. "That's not so bad is it?"

"This is so humiliating," Pietro grumbled.

"Well it's your own fault running off like that," Lifeline said. "I told you that you weren't strong enough." 

"How did you guys find me?" Pietro asked.

"We have magic powers," Shipwreck told him. "We know everything that goes on around here using our crystal ball."

"That and the tracer we hid inside your clothes," Lifeline told him. "I told you he'd bolt as soon as he was able."

"You knew?" Pietro blinked. 

"Well Psyche-Out figured it out," Shipwreck told him. 

"So you have a tracer on all of us?" Pietro blinked.

"No just you," Shipwreck told him. "Because we knew you were the only one crazy enough to run." 

Pietro shrank in humiliation. "So I'm gonna get punished now?"

"For being scared?" Shipwreck said. "Heck no." 

"Let's just say we'll look the other way, this time," Lifeline told him. "You know any longer out there and you could have been really hurt. Your immune system is very weak right now. You need to rest." 

Pietro let Lifeline bathe him and wash his hair. When he was finished he was dried off in a fluffy towel and dressed in a clean new set of pajamas. Shipwreck then went into the bathroom to get changed. Lifeline put a bathrobe on Pietro and gave him some hot tea to drink. Psyche-Out walked inside. "How's our escape artist?" He smirked.

"You already know about it?" Pietro groaned.

"Kid on this base gossip's like wildfire," Psyche-Out told him. "Of course with your sister screaming at the top of her lungs about it, it's kind of hard to keep a lid on things."

"Wanda!" Pietro turned pale. "I…I forgot about her! I just…I didn't…" 

"Things aren't so simple are they?" Psyche-Out asked. "Nothing makes sense anymore does it?" 

"No," Pietro sighed. "I don't really know why I ran. Honestly I don't." 

"Where were you going kid?" Psyche-Out asked. No one noticed that General Hawk was nearby. He remained behind the open door listening in. "Where were you running to?" 

"I don't know!" Pietro said loudly. "I guess I was going to get…"

"To get help?" Lifeline asked. "To stage some kind of rescue?" 

Pietro hung his head down. "Yeah. I just…I didn't want…."

"You didn't want any more mutants to get into trouble did you?" Lifeline said. 

"That's why you ran isn't it?" Psyche-Out said gently. "You were afraid of betraying your fellow mutants." 

Pietro turned away. "You were looking for your father to help you weren't you?" Psyche-Out knelt down to him, so that his eyes were level with his. "Pietro, look at me. I'm sorry I have to say this, but your father is not going to help you. He's left you behind. I know this is hard for you to face, because no matter how badly he's mistreated you and your sister you still love him. And that's okay. But maybe he doesn't love you as much as you love him. Does that give him the right to hurt you and treat you badly? Does it Pietro?"

"I…I don't know," Pietro's voice was very small. 

"Do you want him to do to other mutants what he did to you and your sister?" Lifeline asked gently. "What about Toad and the others? Or when he kidnapped Althea's brother? Do you want him to do that to others?" 

Pietro looked like he was about to cry. "That's enough," Hawk finally walked in. "Pietro, you don't have to tell them anything anymore. It doesn't matter now." 

"What do you mean?" Lifeline asked.

"The second Mystique woke up she started singing like a contestant from American Idol," Hawk told him. "There's already been a raid on that base. So apparently you've been worrying for nothing." 

"Was anyone…?" Pietro gulped.

"No serious injuries," Hawk told him. "Most of the mutants however got away, including our friend Sabertooth. A few got caught and…well let's just say Mystique might get a few new cellmates. None of the mutants caught were kids."

"Well that's some good news," Lifeline sighed. 

"I'm sorry," Pietro sniffed. "I didn't…"

"Listen kid," Hawk knelt down and put a hand on his shoulder. "Believe it or not, I understand. I know you want to help mutants. And mutants need to stick together. But not the way Magneto wants it. His way will only make things worse." 

"At least you have a conscience," Psyche-Out told him. "Mystique and people like her are only interested in themselves." 

"Pietro," Lifeline sighed and sat down on a nearby bed. "Come here," He motioned him to sit beside him. Pietro sheepishly obeyed. "I can only imagine what's going through your mind at this moment. All your life you've been taught that humans will hate you and experiment on you. And now here you are stuck in a military base full of them."

"Son that's a half truth," Hawk told him. "Yes there are a lot of humans who will never understand you and will want to hurt you. And yes there are a lot of people within both the military and the government that want to see mutants either contained or exterminated. But there are also a lot of people who want to help mutants or at the very least not start a new era of slavery and oppression. We're the latter."

"Toad said that's because you saw a lot of bad things like Moreauseau," Pietro said.

"That's part of it," Hawk sighed. "Maybe we've seen so much horror and pain we don't want anyone else to experience it."

"Pietro I know this is frightening and confusing for you," Lifeline said. "But you are gonna have to learn to trust us, just like we're going to have to learn to trust you. This a two way street here. You need to learn to understand humans just like humans need to learn to understand mutants." 

Pietro remained silent. "I can see this is going to take some time," Hawk sighed. 

Shipwreck had finished changing in the bathroom and walked back in. "Listen kid here's the deal," Shipwreck said. "We ain't gonna lock you up for running off this time, but we need you to promise that you won't run off as well. Got it? And I mean a real promise."

"Okay," Pietro said meekly. "I promise. I…I won't run away again. I mean it." 

Lifeline hugged him gently. "Now we are going to hold you to this, so I want you to understand that." 

Pietro blinked. He hadn't been held like this in a long time. He felt ashamed for wanting to be cared for like a small child, but it felt so good. He closed his eyes and tentatively hugged Lifeline back. 

"That's a good boy," Lifeline said. He let Pietro pull away. "Better? Now do you understand what you promised? And what the consequences are?" 

"If I run away I get locked up," Pietro sighed. "I won't run away. But…do I have to wear a bracelet or something to keep tabs on me?"

"Let me show you something," Hawk held up his wrist. "See this watch? It not only has a communicator on it but a tracer. All Joes wear something like this. Each watch, ring or necklace has a built in homing device. This is in case of an emergency so if something happens we can be found."

"See," Shipwreck showed him his watch. "Even we have to follow the rules. You think if you had a watch like this it would help you remember not to run away?"

"I…I guess," Pietro stammered. "You all wear a homing device?" 

"For safety reasons," Lifeline showed him his wristband. "Of course not all of them are the same. "This is a Joe-Com. Most of the Joes only wear them when they're on duty, but because I'm a medic, I wear mine nearly twenty-four seven. It not only has a homing device, it has a communication device, audio/video COM link, heart monitor, a database, the works." 

"It even tells the time," Hawk smiled. "It's our newest device. We just worked the bugs out of them a week ago."

"Do I get something like that?" Pietro's eyes were wide.

"Uh let's start with the watch and see how you do," Shipwreck said. "So how about it kid?" 

Pietro nodded. "Okay. I won't run away. I'll really be good. And if I'm really good do I get a Joe-Com?"

"Oh yeah he'll be fine!" Shipwreck laughed. "Like I said, we'll see." 

"I think it's time you went back to bed," Lifeline said. "Psyche-Out you can talk to him some more in the morning."

"Better make it the afternoon," Psyche-Out told him. "I have a session with Avalanche."

"How's he doing?" Pietro asked.

Psyche-Out hesitated. "It's…too early to tell." He looked at Pietro. "What happened to Lance wasn't your fault kid. There was nothing you could have done."

"But I knew," Pietro said. "I knew Magneto was giving us those drugs. Why didn't I warn him? I could have done something!"

"No you couldn't," Lifeline told him. "Magneto is too powerful for you to take him on alone. Heck even we couldn't take him without the X-Men and he still got away! So don't beat yourself up." 

Pietro said nothing, not quite believing him. "Come on kid," Lifeline said. "Let's get you back to bed."

Pietro meekly followed him back to the room. Inside Wanda was sitting there. "HA!" She snapped. "I knew they'd catch you! Serves you right! How could you do something stupid like that? Especially after you promised Toad?" 

"That's enough Wanda," Lifeline said. "Pietro's been through enough." He tucked Pietro in. 

"Aren't you going to punish him?" Wanda asked.

"Whose side are you on?" Pietro yelped.

"No one is going to be punished," Lifeline told her.

"But he ran away!" Wanda snapped.

"Because he was scared," Lifeline told her. "Sometimes we all do things we shouldn't do when we're scared. Like trashing a room with one's powers? Hmmm?" 

Wanda hung her head down. "I didn't mean to," She said. 

"That's right," Lifeline sat down next to her. "And Pietro didn't mean to run away and leave you. That's what you're mad about isn't it?" 

Wanda sulked. "Yeah. He was being selfish like always!" 

"I wasn't thinking!" Pietro shouted. He got quieter. "I'm sorry." 

Wanda turned her head away. "Wanda," Lifeline said gently. "I believe your brother really didn't mean to leave you behind. He's really sorry. It's understandable that you're angry with him. Is there anything he can do to make you feel better?" 

"I don't know," Wanda turned away.

"Please don't be so hard on your brother," Lifeline told her. "He's just as scared as you are. He just has a different way of expressing it, that's all." 

"Why are you being so nice to us?" Pietro asked. 

"Why shouldn't I be?" Lifeline smiled. "Now get some rest." He left the room. 

"I hope you realize how lucky you are you didn't really get punished," Wanda snapped.

"Yeah I know," Pietro sighed. 

"You can be such a jerk sometimes you know," Wanda sniffed.

"Well so are you," Pietro shot back. "Sometimes." 

They lay there in silence. "I'm still mad at you," Wanda said. 

"I wasn't thinking," Pietro said. 

"Obviously," Wanda snorted. Then she softened. "I guess…if I was in a situation like that…Maybe…I'd run too. But I wouldn't have left you behind!"

"I didn't intend to leave you behind," Pietro told her. "I was gonna…I dunno…get help and rescue you or something. I dunno. I didn't really think it through." 

"I guess I can't be too mad at you," Wanda sighed. "Thinking things through isn't exactly your strong suit."

"Thanks a lot," Pietro groaned. 

"Then again," Wanda sighed. "I wasn't thinking when I first woke up. I just reacted blindly." 

"How did they stop you?" Pietro asked, curious. 

"When I freaked out…" Wanda sighed. "I kinda dragged Lifeline inside my mind. But he was so calm and gentle. He took me away from all the bad things and guided me to this garden inside his mind. I felt so safe. It's nothing like regular telepathy. I guess the best description of it that it's more like a misty presence rather than an actual one."

"I wonder how he does that?" Pietro wondered. "I mean, he has powers but he's not a mutant. I didn't think that was possible." 

"Maybe he has magical abilities?" Wanda said. "That's a possibility. Or he could be an Esper."

"A what?" 

"Someone with ESP," Wanda said. "Someone connected to the paranormal somehow. Somehow their minds are attuned to a higher plane of being. That was Agatha's description of it." 

"Well whatever he is at least he's not on some mad scientist kick," Pietro sighed. "Wanda…do you think we're going to be okay here?"

"Well they haven't killed us or anything," Wanda shrugged. "They've treated us pretty well considering. Maybe it will be okay?" 

"They don't seem so bad do they?" Pietro sighed. He closed his eyes. "Maybe…maybe we are safe here." 

"That's all I want," Wanda sighed, hugging her doll closer. "Just to feel safe." 

"So do I…" Pietro sighed before he fell asleep.

**Okay, coming up: More comforting, some bickering, a little more putting the team of adults together, and an all out brawl! But who fights? Wait and see, it's not who you think! **


	11. Coming Together, Falling Apart

**Coming Together, Falling Apart**

Pietro awoke from the nightmare with a yelp. He sat there shaking. It had all seemed so real. In his dream he was calling for his father, only to be thrown off a cliff by him. He fought back the tears in his eyes.

_What's wrong with you Pietro? Father…Magneto taught you never to cry. Not to feel anything. And now here I am about to bawl like a baby. What's wrong with me? Just because my father tried to kill me? No, he's not my father anymore. He tried to kill me. If that isn't the ultimate act of being disowned I don't know what is! _

"Pietro?"

He looked up and saw Lifeline. "Bad dream?" Lifeline asked softly. 

Pietro nodded. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked the boy.

"No," Pietro shuddered. "I just can't go back to sleep now."

"If you'd like I can use my abilities to try and calm you down," Lifeline offered. 

"What are you going to do?"

"Just give you a brief back rub while using my abilities," Lifeline explained. "I find it sometimes helps after nightmares."

"Okay," Pietro sighed. "Why not?" 

Pietro felt Lifeline's soothing touch on his brow. He felt warm and safe. He allowed him to remove his shirt and turned over on his stomach. Gently Lifeline traced the outlines of the scars on his back, causing them to melt and disappear beneath his glowing fingers. The gentle massage combined with Lifeline's healing abilities began to work. 

Pietro made soft mewing sounds of contentment. He was no longer afraid. In fact he felt safe. Safer than he had been in a long time. There was something about the gentle medic that made him feel like he was with a loving parent instead of a stranger. Just now he was starting to believe that these people really cared about him and didn't see him as a weapon or a potential threat.

Lifeline then stopped and helped him put his shirt back on. "Do you want me to sit with you?" He asked. 

Pietro nodded with an affirmative whimper. Lifeline wrapped the boy in a blanket and let him snuggle close to him, like a small child clinging to his parent for comfort. Pietro trusted the medic's comforting embrace, and soon fell asleep. 

Lifeline put his hand on the boy's forehead. No sign of a fever yet. He breathed a sigh of relief. He tucked Pietro back in. This wasn't going to be easy. And he had a feeling the worst was yet to come.

************************************************************************

In the conference room the next day Hawk was with Roadblock, Shipwreck and the Blind Master. They were planning strategy on putting the team together. 

"So let me get this straight, you assigned Low Light to our little family?" Shipwreck blinked. "Mister Personality himself?" 

"I have my reasons," Hawk told him. "He'll be helpful keeping an eye on the kids. Plus if the worst happens, he can protect them." 

"Well I want to have Lifeline and Bree be at the very least part time associated," Roadblock said. "They seem to have a connection with the kids. Not to mention a medical background that could help. Too bad they can't be full time."

"They're too valuable here," Hawk shrugged. "But they and a lot of other Joes can help out from time to time. Have the kids have some one on one training sessions with them."

"Hopefully that will work a lot better than with the X-Men," Roadblock groaned. "Are we done then?"

"Well let's see," Hawk consulted his notes. "With you and Shipwreck as the primary parents, The Blind Master as their main teacher, Low Light as their protector and since Spirit has a psychology degree he can be the social worker that should do it." 

"We're forgetting something," Shipwreck said. "They also need a mama."

"A what?" Hawk blinked. 

"We need at least one female Joe full time," Shipwreck said. "I need help with my girls. They're growing up too fast and wild. And don't forget Wanda." 

"The boys could use a little feminine influence as well," Roadblock nodded. "But who? Scarlet?" 

"She's too valuable an agent for full time," Hawk said. "And that goes for nearly all the females on the base. Bree's the only one I think that can take the job. Of course I don't know how that would work since she would have to live with the kids and that would mean Lifeline would have to live there as well. Logistically it may be impossible." 

"What we need is a strong woman who likes the kids but can keep them in line," The Blind Master thought out loud. "This is not going to be easy…" 

************************************************************************

That afternoon Pietro rested in his bed. Although his leg was now healed, his body still hadn't fully recovered. He had been exhausted all morning and was just now getting some of his strength back. To pass the time, he and Wanda had been playing some board games.

"HA HA! PARK PLACE IS MINE!" Wanda crowed.

"Not again!" Pietro groaned. 

"Face it brother, I am the Monopoly Queen!" Wanda smiled. "Bow down before my greatness!" 

"Well if there's any doubt that you two are related that should remove it," Althea smirked as she came in. Fred and Todd were behind her. 

"Hey there," Wanda waved. "It's good to see you guys!"

"Yeah it's especially good to see Pietro's still here," Fred snickered. 

"You heard?" Pietro gulped.

"Oh yeah," Todd glared at him. 

"Somebody's in trouble!" Wanda snickered. 

"I can't believe you did something so stupid!" Todd snapped. "I thought Lance was the only one with rocks in his head!" 

"I freaked out okay!" Pietro defended himself. 

"Pietro you have to be good!" Todd snapped. "I told you to give this place a chance and what's the first thing you do? You try to skip out on us!" 

"I'm sorry!" Pietro snapped hotly. "I wasn't thinking! I'm an idiot! There, are you happy?"

"Well now that we all agree on that," Althea sighed. "How are you guys doing this morning?"

"Okay I guess," Wanda sighed. "It's kind of dull lying around here all day."

"Enjoy it while you can," Althea told her. "Trust me, you'll be busy soon enough."

"I can't believe I'm so weak and tired," Pietro said.

"It's the drugs being drained out of your systems," Althea told him. "Some of the effects may last permanently though."

"Like with Lance?" Pietro asked.

"Yeah," Todd nodded. "Lifeline said you're not as bad though."

"Magneto really did a number on him didn't he?" Pietro choked. "It's all my fault if…"

"Pietro stop that!" Wanda snapped. "It's as much my fault as yours following that logic. I knew what he was doing too. I think even before you did."

"What?" Todd asked.

"I caught Mystique coming out of Lance's room one night," Wanda sighed. "She didn't see me but it looked like she had something in her hand. I didn't put two and two together until later when I heard he was supposed to be dead. I don't know why I didn't say anything. Maybe I was hoping I imagined it. But deep down I knew. I knew he was drugging us again."

"Again?" Althea asked. "You mean your old man did this to you before?"

Wanda nodded. "Yeah, that's how my powers ended up getting out of control in the first place. I was so angry with him hurting us…" She closed her eyes. "So you see Pietro I am just as responsible as you are. Maybe even more."

"Don't say things like that!" Pietro snapped. "At least you had the guts to fight back!"

"Yeah and look where that got me!" Wanda said. 

"Listen Wanda," Althea put a comforting hand on her shoulder. " And this goes for you two Pietro, you are **not** responsible for what your father did! **He's **the one who decided to do the experiments. Not you. Take it from me, you can't blame yourself for the actions of your father. Trust me, I know from experience! You should see some of the crazy stuff my dad has done!"

"Yeah but your dad's the good kind of crazy," Fred told her. "I mean he has to be with your sisters around."

"You have a point," Althea agreed. 

"Where are your sisters?" Wanda asked Althea. 

"Oh still doing a few chores around the house," Althea grinned. 

"Yeah they tried to get us all in trouble but it backfired on them," Fred said. "Big time!" 

"What happened?" Wanda asked.

"They were playing with dynamite again," Althea explained. "When they'd been forbidden too. They tricked Fred here into helping them."

"Yeah and then the little brats tried to get Althea and me in trouble by spreading lies!" Todd snapped. 

"Whoa back up," Pietro blinked. "Dynamite?"

"They like to make explosives," Althea sighed. "Don't ask me why!" 

"Why do I have the feeling living with all of you is going to be even crazier than the Brotherhood was?" Wanda groaned. 

There was a knock at the door. They saw a pretty woman with auburn hair at the door. "Hi Cover Girl!" Althea waved. 

"Hey!" Cover Girl smiled. "How's it going?" 

"Not bad," Todd smiled. "Guys this is Cover Girl, she works on tanks and the spaceship!"

"Spaceship?" Pietro raised an eyebrow.

"I'll explain later," Althea told him. 

"Lifeline thought it would be a good idea if all of you got some fresh air while you are visiting," Cover Girl explained. "It's a nice day and the ground is dried off so we thought a picnic on the common ground would be nice for you." 

"We get to all sit outside?" Todd asked. "Cool!"

"Is Lance gonna be there?" Wanda asked.

She shook her head. "He needs some alone time right now. You'll see him shortly. So what do you say?" 

"Why not?" Pietro shrugged.

"That's really nice of you Miss Cover Girl," Fred said. "Will there be a lot to eat?" 

"I think we can manage," Cover Girl smiled. "I've got some clothes for Pietro and Wanda. Why don't you guys go ahead and let them get dressed okay?" 

Althea nodded. "Okay, see you guys later!" She led the boys out. 

"You know you guys have been really nice to us," Fred said sheepishly. "Nobody ever did nice stuff like this for us before." 

"Hey it's no big deal," Althea shrugged. "We may not have much but what we got we're willing to share. Except when it comes to ammunition." 

Soon they were out on the common area. "I have to confess something," Althea said. "This picnic isn't just to welcome you guys. It's also a send off party."

"Who's going?" Todd asked.

"Them," She pointed at a small pen where about fifteen penguins were kept. "Hawk finally found a permanent home for them. Gonna send them to this new zoo/research center in New York someplace."

"Awww," Todd said. "I'm gonna miss them! I liked feeding the penguins."

"You kept penguins here?" Fred looked at them incredulously. "What is this place a zoo?"

"Hard to tell sometimes," Althea smirked. "Okay it's uncommon for a military base to have animals on it for environmental studies or to help bring back the population of a certain species, but it's not unheard of. I mean look at that base in Massachusetts that has the box turtles on it. And I hear there's another one that's right next to a bird sanctuary someplace." 

"Yeah but penguins?" Todd asked.

"Hey I never said we were a normal base," Althea told him. "Oh look here's an example of another endangered species," She pointed to a Joe. "The Green Headed Jackass!" 

"That's Beach Head," Todd told Fred. "Trust me, just stay out of his way."

"Think Scott Summers on steroids with a Rogue personality transplant," Althea told him.

"Oh," Fred looked at him. "Gotcha. Who's the other guys next to him?" 

"That's Low Light and Sci Fi," She pointed out. "Hey they got the hot dogs and burgers done!" 

"LUNCH TIME!" Fred nearly knocked her down in order to get to the food. 

"I think he's hungry," Todd chuckled. "Come on, let's get something to eat, otherwise there won't be any food left!"

Soon Pietro and Wanda joined them. Pietro was dressed in jeans with a black T-shirt with a lightning streak on it. Wanda was wearing a red tank top with black jeans as well as a black leather jacket. Before long everyone was eating and talking. 

Including a certain group of Joes. "I hate to admit it but I'm gonna miss them little critters," Sci Fi told Low Light and Beach Head. 

"I'm not," Low Light said. "I'm glad they're going." 

"Thank god!" Beach Head sighed. "I thought we'd never get rid of those stupid penguins! Now all we have to worry about is how to get rid of those maniacs!" He pointed to the kids. Roadblock was trying to keep them from having a food fight with minimal success. 

"We're supposed to be fighting terrorists, not baby sitting a bunch of brats with super powers," Beach Head grumbled. 

"I'm not exactly crazy about it either," Low Light sighed. "But they don't have anywhere else to go. Lay off 'em Beach Head." 

"Why Low Light don't tell me you're getting all paternal on us already?" Sci Fi snickered. 

"Shut up," Low Light bristled. 

"What?" Beach Head asked. 

"Ain't you heard?" Sci Fi said. "Low Light just got assigned to help take care of those kids. Full time!"

"You're joking?" Beach Head gasped. "Him?"

"Kinda gives you a fuzzy feeling don't it?" Sci Fi laughed. 

"It wasn't my idea," Low Light snapped. 

"Calm down Daddy," Sci Fi chuckled. 

"Yeah Low Light you'll fit in with those freaks," Beach Head snickered. "You're practically a freak yourself. Been one since I've known you."

That was when Low Light punched him in the nose. Then he tackled Sci Fi. "LAUGH THIS OFF FUNNY GUY!" 

"ARE YOU NUTS?" Sci Fi shouted. 

"GET OFF HIM LOW LIGHT!" Beach Head got up and tried to pry him off. "THAT'S AN ORDER!"

An order Low Light ignored. In fact he grabbed Beach Head and threw him across a table, spilling drinks and food everywhere. "That's it!" Beach Head got back up. "This is war!" 

"What the heck…?" Roadblock looked over and saw Low Light taking on Beach Head and Sci Fi. "What are they doing?" 

"They're having a brawl," Shipwreck said calmly, eating a hamburger. "I got five on Beach Head!"

"Ten on Low Light!" Another Joe shouted out. Soon half the Joes were making bets. 

"Holy cow look at them go!" Todd whistled. 

"Oh man they're really going at it!" Pietro said excitedly. "I am so glad I decided to stay! This place is so cool!" 

"KNOCK IT OFF YOU BOZOS!" Cover Girl stormed up to the three men rolling around on the ground. She grabbed Sci Fi turned him around and punched him out. She did the same to the other two men. 

"Wow!" Fred whistled. "Can she punch!" 

"She's tough," Todd blinked.

"Okay, note to self," Pietro gulped. "Do not get on her bad side." 

"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?" She bellowed at them as they lay in the dirt. "WHAT KIND OF EXAMPLE ARE YOU SETTING FOR THE KIDS?" 

"He started it!" Sci Fi pointed to Low Light.

"Yeah we were just talking and he goes ballistic for no reason!" Beach Head said. 

"You were blabbing your big mouth!" Low Light snapped. "That's reason enough for me!" He reached for him but he was held back by Roadblock. 

"NOW COOL IT!" Cover Girl shouted. "BOTH OF YOU!" 

"Okay all three of you in my office! Now!" Hawk ordered. "Roadblock make sure they get there!" They left. "Oh brother. The kids are better behaved than my own men!" 

"General," The Blind Master smiled. "Perhaps this incident was more fortuitous than you think." He pointed to Cover Girl. 

"You have a point," Hawk nodded. "Cover Girl!" He called her over. I have a proposition for you. Interested?" 

"You know me General," Cover Girl smiled. "I'm always ready for a challenge." 

**Next up: Looks like a nice happy life for the mutants, right? Wrong! Bring on the bad guys! Looks like our merry mutants have a few enemies that are roaming around, and I don't mean the X-Men! The trouble is just about to begin! **


	12. Enemies All Around

**Enemies All Around**

General Bragg fumed at the reports on his desk. "Another blasted freak sighting!" He shouted to his personal aide Colonel Eddington. "This one's able to create little bolts of some kind of electricity from music! Trying to pass herself off as some kind of rock star! The nerve of some freaks!" 

"They do seem to be popping up everywhere nowadays don't they sir?" Eddington said. 

"Morlocks, X-Men, freaking Brotherhood…" Bragg chomped on his cigar. "They're all a menace! Any more of that gang of mutants hiding out in LA?"

"There is some news sir, but not much since the last sighting," Eddington told him, handing him the report. "They've been keeping a low profile since that robbery last week. Rumor has it that some people in the neighborhood are actively helping them."

"Why the hell would normal humans help mutants I will never know," Bragg grumbled. "God damn bleeding hearts!"

"Actually in this case sir it's more like protection," Eddington told him. "Apparently these mutants drove out the drug dealers."

"I get it," Bragg grumbled. "The old protection racket, mutant style. Then again some of those people living in that rat infested slum are little more than animals themselves so I'm not too shocked!" 

Bragg grumbled some more. "I should be at the head of this 'Mutant Investigation Division' but nooooo! Gotta give it to some young pup barely out of military school! Never mind the man with more experience!"

"It's a damned shame sir," Eddington told him.

"You're damned right it's a damned shame!" Bragg spat. "Instead I get to put reports together! I should be making the policy against mutants! If it was up to me they'd be locked up, the whole lot of them!"

"Good thing sir you are taking measures of your own behind closed doors," Eddington smiled.

"A damned good thing!" Bragg nodded. "If those freaks think they can just waltz all over us humans they've got another think coming! Not while I'm on the job!"

"There is one more thing sir," Eddington coughed. "I'm afraid you are not going to like this. It concerns GI Joe."

"I never like it when it concerns GI Joe!" Bragg snarled. "Well tell me the bad news!"

"Apparently sir, Mystique was not the only mutant recovered from the remains of Asteroid M," Eddington gave him the file. "I have a plant that's one of the Greenshirts there. He got me these pictures and information."

"The Greenshirts?" Bragg could not remember.

"You remember sir," Eddington told him. "The backup military support troops."

"Oh yes, them," Bragg nodded. "Well…WHAT THE?!" He nearly choked on is cigar. "IS GENERAL HAWK OUT OF HIS @#%%$# MIND?" 

"Apparently he's taken it upon himself to rehabilitate the Brotherhood," Eddington told him. 

"Why that…." Bragg clenched his fist. "I should have known Hawk would try to pull something like this!" 

He pounded his fist on the desk. "That man has been a thorn in my side for decades! Him and his so-called morals! His bleeding heart is just as much a threat to the stability of this country as any terrorist! He's even prevented me from my rightful spot in the Jugglers! He stole it from me!" 

"What are you going to do?" Eddington asked. "Try to remove those mutants from the Pit?"

"Ha!" Bragg growled. "By now even the Jugglers know about this. Hell I wouldn't be surprised if it was their idea! Hawk and Flagg are like peas in a pod. He must have made some kind of deal. No, attacking them directly is out of the question. As long as those mutants are under Hawk's control we can't touch them. However…." He started to tap his fingers together. 

"Sir?" Eddington asked.

"**Those** mutants we may not be able to get at yet," Bragg smiled. "But there are other mutants we can get. Such as the X-men. What we need is information. Eddington I have a job for you. I need you to get anything and everything on those mutants."

"Which mutants sir?"

"All of them!" Bragg pounded his fist on the desk again. "Any information we can use to exploit."

"Actually sir, I took the liberty of bringing you a very reliable source on not only those mutants, but on mutants in general," Eddington said.

"Really?" Bragg smiled. 

"Of course it did take quite a bit of doing, in fact sir, he's not even supposed to be here," Eddington told him. "But he is waiting in the hall."

"Well let's not keep the good man waiting!" Bragg grinned.

"Yes sir," Eddington nodded and went for the door. He motioned for the man to come in. "May I present sir, Dr. Bolivar Trask." 

Trask walked into the room. "General," Trask smiled. "I believe I can help you with your mutant problem."

"I believe you can Dr. Trask," Bragg smiled. "I believe you can." 

************************************************************************

Cobra Commander strutted to his throne room. "Success!" He hissed. "Soon we will have our own army of super powered mutants! Those DNA samples we got from the X-men were only the beginning! It's time for a New World order"

"Oh goody," Destro, Cobra's second in command muttered under his breath. "He's in a good mood." 

"_It's the right time, oh yeah it's the right time for making muties!" _Cobra Commander sang. 

"Have you been drinking?" Destro glared at him.

"So what if I have?" Cobra Commander turned on him. "There's nothing like a good celebration to lift your spirits! For once something's gone right around here and I am going to enjoy it!"

"Personally I would prefer to hold off celebrating until we have actually created our army of mutants," Destro frowned.

"Details, details," Cobra Commander waved and sat down at his throne. "I mean it's not like we don't have other mutants in our labs or any other genetic material we can use in addition to the X-Men's now is it? We have all the materials we need; all we have to do is wait for Dr. Mindbender and his staff to get the ball rolling!" 

"This is not simply a question of putting together something off an assembly line like a cheap cabinet shelf!" Destro fumed. "Genetics is at best a risky and imprecise science! Remember our Assassin 9 program? We spent decades building and growing the perfect assassins and what happens? At the last hour they somehow develop free will and turn on us!" 

"Yes Destro I remember," Cobra Commander sighed impatiently. "I was there remember?" 

"Years wasted!" Destro fumed. "Down the drain! All because somehow Mindbenders 'brilliant' staff overlooked a few random strains of DNA that enabled those creatures to become ultra resistant to pain and gain the ability to think for themselves!"

"Destro I am well aware of the failure of the Assassin 9 program as well as countless other programs concerning genetic mutation," Cobra Commander told him. "True we've had a few setbacks…"

"A **few **setbacks?" 

"But each time we have learned something from our mistakes."

"That's a remarkably mature attitude for you my dear Cobra Commander. Tell me, just how many bottles did you drink this morning?" 

"Not to mention we also still have the original genetic blueprints and samples from those experiments," Cobra Commander decided to ignore Destro's remark. "Anyway we disposed of those imperfect assassins anyway!"

"All except one!" Destro reminded him. "And **that **one is currently in the hands of GI Joe!" 

"Yes well they do have an annoying habit of intercepting our technology don't they?" Cobra Commander sighed. "Fortunately two can play that game! Once we have our army we will simply have to make a certain test run. And that test will be to capture that mutant as well as all the other mutants in the Joes' hands!"

"Including the elusive mermaid girl?" Destro smirked.

"Especially the mermaid!" Cobra Commander pounded his fist on the arm of the throne. "That little brat has been a thorn in Cobra's side even before she was born! Just like her mother!"

"I agree," Destro nodded. "She is far too valuable to allow to stay in the hands of GI Joe!"

"Patience Destro," Cobra Commander poured himself some wine. "In time they will all be ours!" 

************************************************************************

Mystique stalked the confines of her cell. She was bored out of her mind. _Well at least I'm not in a lab, _She thought. _Prison is better than being experimented on any day! How long is Magneto going to let me rot in here? When I get my hands on him…_

Absently she fingered the collar on her neck. It was a nullifier, in order to prevent her from using her powers to escape. _Not that that would do much good anyway, _She mused as she looked around the windowless cell. It was all white with only a bed, a toilet and a sink with a mirror. The door was an electric shield. 

A female guard came in with a man dressed sharply in a well-dressed suit carrying an attaché case. "Your lawyer's here," She said to her opening the cell. 

"Lawyer?" Mystique asked, puzzled.

"Everyone is entitled to representation," The man said. "I'm Mr. Tan. Think of me as your self-appointed attorney. I heard of your case and I was fascinated."

"Really?" Mystique folded her arms. "Lucky me."

"You are very lucky to have an associate like me," Mr. Tan smiled. A beep went off on his wristwatch. 

"What's that?" The guard asked.

"Oh just telling me the time," Mr. Tan smiled. "Time to do this!" 

Before the guard could react, Mr. Tan spayed a can of something into her face. She slumped to the ground. "We haven't much time," Mr. Tan took something else out of his case. "The cameras surveying this cell will be off for precisely two minutes! First let's get you out of that restraining collar shall we," He reached out to her.

"Don't touch me!" Mystique backed away. "Who are you?"

"We've met," He chuckled and pulled off his face to reveal a different one.

"Zartan!" Mystique's eyes went wide.

"The one and only! I believe I made a proposition to you a while back," Zartan smiled. "Are you still interested?"

"Are you kidding?" Mystique looked at him. "If it would get me out of here I'd consider joining the cast of 'Blue's Clues'!" 

"Well I must admit that some of the members of my gang do have the mentality of deranged four year olds," Zartan told her. "But our goal is a noble one." He took out a key and removed the collar from Mystique's neck. "Better?"

"Much," Mystique fingered her now free neck.

"One more thing," Zartan threw something to the ground. The something bubbled and in an instant turned into a perfect replica of Mystique. 

"What in the world is that?" Mystique's jaw fell open. 

"This is called a synthoid," Zartan explained. "A perfect replica of a living being made of a very special chemical protoplasm. The only drawback is that it has a 'life span' of only a few weeks, if it isn't played with too roughly. She will take your place." 

"I'm impressed," Mystique nodded. "Does it have my powers as well?"

"Unfortunately it does not," Zartan said putting the collar on the synthoid. "It can't even speak. I'm afraid I was a bit pressed for time and had to take an older model, but it will do the job nicely. Just long enough for us to get away and cover our tracks."

"Well then I'd better change," Mystique transformed into a guard. 

"So should I," Zartan put his mask back on. "Our two minutes are almost up! And sleeping beauty will wake up soon." He indicated the guard. They left the cell and Zartan locked the door. 

"Let me do the talking," Mystique hissed as the guard started to wake up. 

"What happened?" The guard moaned.

"Prisoner tried to get a little rough with you and Mr. Tan," Mystique told her. "Don't worry. The freak's safe behind bars where she belongs." She pointed to the synthoid, which glared at her.

"Ugh," The guard stood up. "Good job." 

"My goodness she is a bit of a spitfire isn't she?" Zartan wiped his brow, giving an academy award performance. "Guard could you please escort me out?"

"With pleasure sir," Mystique said. Soon the two of them walked right out the prison doors. "Stonewall?" She gritted her teeth. "They kept me here?" 

"I suggest we leave post haste," Zartan got into the car. "You might want to change again." 

Mystique quickly turned into her Darkholme disguise. Zartan drove off. "Well that went well!" 

"There's one thing," Mystique said. "Pull over."

"Why?" Zartan asked.

"I think you should get what's coming to you," Mystique said in a sweet voice.

Zartan pulled the car to the side of the road and remove his mask. "Better?" He asked in a romantic tone.

"Much!" Mystique snapped as she slapped him.

"OW!" Zartan yelped in pain. "What was that for?" 

"You ditched me you jerk!" She snapped. "You left me alone to face Magneto!" 

"I didn't exactly have a fun time with Cobra Commander myself you know!" Zartan hissed. "But if we play our cards right we can get revenge on them all! As well as unbeatable power. What do you say?"

"I say you're an impossible egotist," Mystique told him. "But fortunately for you you're an intelligent one as well."

"Not to mention dead sexy."

"I didn't say that," She told him.

"Not with your words," He grinned. "Your body language however…" 

"You're impossible!"

"And you never had it so good," Zartan grinned. 

Mystique glared at him. Then she softened. "Well I'm still mad at you."

"Understandable," Zartan said. "But why don't we discuss this someplace else. So we can go over our strategy to take over Cobra. Not to mention getting rid of any pent up energy." 

"You think just because you sprung me out of prison the first thing I want to do is to go to bed with you?" Mystique snapped.

"Yes."

"It's that obvious huh?" 

"Pretty much." 

"Damn." 

Zartan took her face in his hand. "You know you're sexy when you fume like that?" He kissed her long and hard.

"Forget the motel," Mystique muttered. "Let's do it right here."

"You are my kind of woman," Zartan laughed. 

**Next chapter: Mystique meets the Dreadnoks and for some it's hate at first sight. Pietro and Wanda move into their new foster home and meet their new 'Mom' and 'Dad'! **


	13. Settling In

**Settling In**

"WHO STOLE MY JELLY DOUGHNUTS?" Ripper snarled. He glared around the derelict shack. Most of the other Dreadnoks were lying around on couches that had seen better days. 

"Don't look at me," Monkeywrench said, ignoring the fact that there was jelly smeared all over his moustache and beard. 

"WHY YOU LYING…!" Ripper threw himself at Monkeywrench and they started brawling. 

"They're at it again," Zarana told her twin brother Zandar. "Think we should stop them?"

"Nah," He grabbed a beer and gulped it down. "The cable's out."

"You're right," Zarana shrugged. "Might as well watch the show."

Both men were punching and slugging each other. "Get 'em Ripper!" Torch shouted.

"No way!" Buzzer shouted. "Monkeywrench has got this one in the bag! Five bucks on…OWWWW!" He grimaced as a sixteen-year-old girl with green hair, a pierced nose and lip twisted his ear. "Come on Zanya! We're just having some fun!"

"Which usually leads to something being demolished!" Zanya snapped. "ROAD PIG!" 

A huge man with white hair with a pink streak on each side came into the room and easily separated the two combatants. "Thy will is done fair lady," He said. "Cease your brawling gentlemen, as per the lady's request."

Then Road Pig's face contorted. "THAT MEANS KNOCK IT OFF!" He shouted in a different voice and cracked their skulls together before tossing them to the ground.

"Uh, did you give him his medication?" Zanya asked Zarana.

"I thought he did it?" Zarana pointed to Zandar. 

"Oh god I have to do everything around here!" Zanya rolled her eyes.

"Well you are second in command now," Zandar reminded her. "Leadership has its responsibilities."

"My responsibilities shouldn't include being a nursemaid to a bunch of sissies who fight over every little thing," She took out a bottle from a cabinet. "Donald, your medicine!"

"Much gratitude my lady," Road Pig bowed before he swallowed his pill.

"T-thank you," Road Pig stuttered again in his other voice. 

"Where the hell is my father?" Zanya asked. "Cobra Commander just called again screaming for him."

"He said he had a little errand to run," Torch shrugged.

"That was two days ago!" Zanya snapped. "Where the hell could he be?"

"Don't look at me love," Zandar shrugged. "Your father never tells me anything!" 

"Well maybe if you didn't whine about how nobody pays any attention to you all the time…" Zarana snapped.

The door swung open. "I'm home!" Zartan called out.

"Father!" Zanya sighed. "Where the hell have you been? What happened?" She then looked behind him. "WHAT THE HELL IS **SHE **DOING HERE?" 

Mystique entered the room. She looked like a queen that had the unpleasant duty of addressing a peasant. "It's good to see you again…Anya."

"Zanya," She corrected her. "Anya was my cover. This is the real me!" 

"Indeed," Mystique looked her over. Zanya was wearing torn green camouflage pants, a black shirt with sewn in studs, proudly proclaiming DREADNOK FOR HIRE as well as black gloves, spiked dog collar and combat boots. In addition to her nose and lip being pierced, she had an eyebrow stud as well as several earrings on each ear. "I think I liked the old you better." 

"Look who's talking Blue," Zandar snickered. 

"Whoo-eee!" Ripper leered. "Ain't you a nice bit of fluff! Hey is that skin really blue?" He went to touch it. Big mistake. The next thing he knew he was thrown into a wall by Mystique's punch.

"Hands off dirt ball!" Mystique snarled. 

"Ladies and…everyone else," Zartan announced. "Allow me to introduce our newest ally, Mystique."

"Charmed I'm sure," Road Pig bowed.

"What are you up to?" Zarana asked Zartan. "We don't need no new recruits! What's this all about?"

"Patience my dear sister," Zartan smiled. "All will be revealed. First some introductions. Mystique this is my dear baby sister Zarana and her twin brother Zandar."

"I'm also your brother too," Zandar huffed under his breath. 

"Here are the other members of the Dreadnok staff," Zartan pointed to each. "You know Monkeywrench, Torch, Buzzer, and that's Ripper by the wall there. And this is…"

"Allow me," Road Pig bowed. "I am Donald, pleased to meet your acquaintance."

Then again his other voice returned. "And…I…uh… am Road Pig!" 

"Our friend here has a spilt personality," Zartan explained. "We've decided it's charming." 

"This is your organization? Four morons, Sybil, the Pinky Twins here and a teenage girl in serious need of a makeover?" Mystique groaned. "No wonder you need my help!" 

"Help for what?" Zanya asked. "What scheme are you planning this time?" 

"A very profitable one," Zartan smiled. "Trust me."

"You I do trust," Zanya glared at Mystique. 

"Ugh! These morons make the Brotherhood look like neat freaks!" Mystique grumbled as she looked around the room with distaste.

"Forgive me," Zartan pressed a hidden switch. "This is the romper room for the boys. Our living quarters are a bit tidier."

A bookcase moved to reveal a secret passage. As she walked through it. To her shock was a huge military room filled with computers and other high tech equipment. "Impressive."

"Thank you," Zartan shrugged. "We keep the front part as a place for the boys to play so this area doesn't get messy. Our living quarters are down below." 

"This…person is going to live with us?" Zanya's voice was icy. "You can't be serious!" 

"Be a little patient with her," Zartan smiled a charming smile at Mystique. "She's been a bit difficult since her mother departed."

"She didn't depart Zartan," Torch said. "She ran off with that jerk Thrasher, remember?" Zanya whacked him on the head. "OW!" 

"Hmm," Mystique looked around. "I see that there is a need for discipline here. Zanya show me my room." 

"Hold on a second!" Zanya snapped. "Who do you think you are just waltzing in here and giving orders?"

"Are you threatening me child?" Mystique's tone was icy.

"This **child**," Zarana stepped up. "Has more experience with us Dreadnoks and is the future leader of our organization. She's seen plenty of combat experience and has earned her position. The only people qualified to put the little dink in her place is her blood relations, which you ain't!" 

"My aunt is correct," Zanya said with her chin held high. "I've been a Dreadnok since the day I was born and I was my father's second in command since I was thirteen. I've proven myself in the battlefield which counts a lot more than proving yourself in my father's bed!" 

"Why you impertinent little…" Mystique raised her hand to slap her.

"Try it and see what happens!" Zanya hissed.

"That's enough!" Zartan grabbed Mystique's wrist. "All of you. We're all on the same side here! And since we are all going to be living together I suggest we all learn to get along."

"Just one big happy family," Zandar grumbled.

"Well I ain't sharing a room with her!" Zarana snapped.

"Ditto for me!" Zanya said. 

"And where am I supposed to sleep?" Mystique asked.

"How about out in the swamp with the rest of the slimy reptiles?" Zarana said.

"No pink headed fashion victim is going to insult me and get away with it!" Mystique snapped. 

"Look who's talking!" Zarana shouted, making a fist. "A slut with a bad rash and an even worse haircut!" 

"At least my hair is cut!" Mystique shouted, making a fist of her own. "Not hacked off with a machete!"

"Why you…" Zarana shouted as she started to throw a punch. 

"LADIES!" Zartan stepped between them.

"SHE STARTED IT!" Both women said at the same time. 

"I have a much more, interesting proposal," Zartan smiled at Mystique. "If you don't mind sharing a room…." 

"Well in that case," Mystique smiled and took Zartan's arm. "Lead the way." They left for Zartan's room.

"Looks like the boss man's gonna get a little nookie tonight," Ripper snickered.

"More than you ever got in your lifetime," Buzzer snapped. 

Zarana and Zanya looked at each other. It was an instant bond between aunt and niece. It was a look that said _I hate her already! _

************************************************************************

Two days after the incident at the barbecue, Pietro and Wanda were discharged from the medical wing. "It's weird," Wanda shrugged. "I feel like I don't want to leave."

"It's probably we got used to Lifeline and Bree taking care of us," Pietro sighed.

"Cheer up guys," Bree told them. "We'll still see you around. And you two are going into a good home with a lot of love."

"ALL ABOARD THE SHIPWRECK EXPRESS!" Shipwreck called out. Althea was standing with him. 

"That's not all there is in this house," Althea grumbled. 

"Come on," Shipwreck said. "So it will be a little cramped for a week or so. It's only until Lance is healed up. Then we go off for a bit of training. By the time we get back the house will be all fixed up and the new additions will be in." 

"You'd be amazed how often this has happened," Althea told them. 

"So we'll be training now?" Wanda asked as they left.

"Not so much right away," Shipwreck told her. "We want to give you two a chance to recover. You'll be getting into a routine slowly."

"Good luck," Wanda smirked. "My brother doesn't do anything slow, except maybe learn his lesson."

"Hey!" Pietro snapped. 

"Come on you two," Shipwreck nudged them along. Soon they were at a large gray house. "Here we are! Casa Delgato!" 

"Might as well move in here and start getting used to this nuthouse," Althea shrugged. "Wanda, you're bunking in with me." 

"Where am I going to sleep?" Pietro asked. 

"Well Cover Girl is going to sleep in the spare room," Shipwreck scratched his head. "I didn't think you'd want to sleep with the baby so I fixed up a section in the basement for you."

"You're putting me in the basement?" Pietro asked.

"Oh calm down Cinderella," Althea groaned. "Besides would you rather sleep with the screaming poop machine?"

"You have a point," Pietro sighed as they went inside. 

"WAAAKKK!" Polly the parrot flew wildly around, carrying something in its beak. 

"Come back here you stupid bird!" Cover Girl chased after it. 

"Special delivery! Wak!" Polly dropped the item on Shipwreck's head. It was a bra. 

"Uh…I can explain," Shipwreck gulped as a very angry Cover Girl glared at him. "Hey this is nice material!" He started fingering it.

"Give me that!" Cover Girl grabbed the bra. "I swear if I had known I'd be living with you, I'd have never let Hawk talk me into this! If it wasn't for these kids needing at least one stable parent in this house…"

"Come on Cover Girl give me a break!" Shipwreck held up his hands in defense. "Now you don't want to expose these poor traumatized children to more violence do you?" He shoved Pietro in front of him. "Remember, we're trying to teach them when it's not acceptable to use violence!" 

"Can I share a room with you?" Pietro asked Cover Girl.

"Hey!" Shipwreck shoved him out of the way. "That's my line!"

Shipwreck let out a yelp of pain as Cover Girl grabbed his ear and twisted it. "Listen up!" She snapped. "I will not put up with any sophomoric behavior from either of you! Understand?" 

"Yes ma'am," Pietro gulped as he witnessed Shipwreck writhing in pain. 

"Pietro I want you to go downstairs and get settled into your room," Cover Girl told him. "Then I want you to get washed up for dinner. There's a separate bathroom down there as well. You too Wanda! Althea show her to your room."

"You heard the lady," Althea shrugged. 

"Is she really gonna live with us?" Wanda whispered to her as they went upstairs.

"Looks like it. No biggie. I'm used to the women on this base dropping in and taking care of us from time to time," Althea told her. 

"Okay, okay you made your point Cover Girl now let me go!" Shipwreck yelped.

She did so. "Geeze you didn't have to twist my ear off!" He rubbed his ear.

"Yes I did," Cover Girl folded her arms. "Look Shipwreck it's going to be hard enough watching out for these kids without dealing with you! I mean it!"

"Hey come on," Shipwreck shrugged. "You know me!"

"That's the problem."

"Give me some credit," Shipwreck told her. "Come on, I really appreciate this. Can't we start over? No hard feelings?" 

"Fine," Cover Girl sighed.

"Let's hug!" He opened his arms wide.

"Shipwreck!"

"What? Hugging is a valid form of expression! Every child should be hugged! What better way to practice is on each other?"

"No!"

"Pleeeeeaaaassssseee!"

"No way!" 

"I'll be your friend!" 

"Oh for crying out loud." 

"Come on! Let's all love each other!"

"Shut up."

"All we need is love! All we need is love!"

"If you start singing I will personally tear your teeth out one by one!"

"Hug me! I'm so huggable!" 

"Is your father always like this?" Wanda asked Althea. They had come back into the room and were watching the scene.

"Unfortunately," Althea groaned. "Hit him Cover Girl!"

"Just one little hug!" Shipwreck pouted. "That's all I need."

"That's' not what you need from where I'm standing," Althea called out.

"Pleeeeeaasseeeeee?" Shipwreck opened his arms wide. "You know you want to! Come on, you have to set an example for the children here!" 

"If I hug you will you shut up?" Cover Girl groaned. 

"Yes and I will be very good," Shipwreck made a crossing motion over his heart. "Scouts' honor!"

"Fine," She sighed and hugged him. "Okay girls show's over! Back upstairs!" 

"And I thought my father was crazy," Wanda shook her head as they went back up to the room.

"You have no idea," Althea groaned. 

"There that wasn't so bad now was it?" Shipwreck smiled.

"No…wait…WHERE'S MY BRA?" She saw it sticking out of Shipwreck's back pocket. "SHIPWRECK!"

"Now how did that get in there?" Shipwreck said innocently. "Just kidding!" 

"Why do I have the feeling that Pietro isn't going to be the biggest problem child in this household?" Cover Girl glared at Shipwreck as she advanced on him. 

KABOOOMMM!

A loud explosion shook the house. "WOW IT IS SO COOL DOWN HERE!" Pietro called out. 

"Damn! I forgot about the chemicals down there!" Shipwreck hit his head. 

Pietro zoomed upstairs. "Uh I kinda made a mess down there!"

"Wonderful," Cover Girl groaned. 

"Here, clean it up with this," Shipwreck tossed Pietro Cover Girl's bra. "Oops," He gulped when he realized his mistake. 

"SHIPWRECK!" Cover Girl looked like she was going to kill him.

"I forgot what it was!" Shipwreck pleaded. "Really! Honest! It was an accident!"

"I'll show you an accident," Cover Girl rolled up her sleeve.

"Hey can I keep this?" Pietro asked, indicating the bra. 

The look in Cover Girl's eye told him that was not the right thing to say. "Run kid!" Shipwreck yelped as Cover Girl grabbed him. "SAVE YOURSELF! AGGH! FORGET THAT! SAVE ME!" 

"Take your pounding like a man!" She screamed.

"I'm out of here!" Pietro ran to the door. He would have run out of it, but something was blocking his way. Pietro fell down on his butt as he ran into it. He looked up. "You!" 

"What are you doing here?" Cover Girl looked up and stopped pounding on Shipwreck. 

"Well hello there," Low Light stood at the door. "Uncle Low-Light is moving in!" 


	14. Dinnertime and Bedtime at the Delgato Ho...

**And now some happy pointless fluffy fun. Gotta love it. **

**Dinnertime and Bedtime at the Delgato House**

"Why are you here?" Shipwreck grumbled as he started getting the food ready.

"Hawk thought that Cover Girl could use some help," Low Light explained. "Surprise, Surprise. He was right." 

"Well pull up a chair and grab some chow," Shipwreck told him. "DINNER! COME AND GET IT!" 

Low Light reluctantly joined the dinner table. The kids were already tucking into the food before it was even put on their plates. "ALL RIGHT YOU ANIMALS LISTEN UP!" He shouted. That stopped them. "Look the first thing we should do is teach some of you some table manners. That means no eating before everyone else has sat down or at least shown up to the table!"

"Oh I get it," Wanda said. "So that way everyone gets an equal chance at getting the food. Sounds fair."

"Whatever," Low Light sighed. "Now to clear up any confusion, there will be no talking while your mouth is full, no swearing at the dinner table…I mean it Shipwreck! And no throwing food!" 

Suddenly Low Light was hit in the face with some applesauce. "BAGA! WHEEE!" Claudius giggled. 

"No," Shipwreck told him. "We don't do that any more." He got hit in the face with the applesauce. "I don't think he gets that rule." 

"Good thing you were wearing goggles," Pietro told Low Light.

"Oh forget it," Low Light grumbled. "Just serve the food." 

"AWWWK!" Polly sang out. "SERVE THE NUTS! SERVE THE NUTS!" 

Everyone started to eat. "This is great!" Pietro remarked. "I never had chili this good!" 

"Whatever you do don't give any to the baby **again**!" Althea told Shipwreck. 

"Don't worry," Shipwreck sighed. "I won't. Boy was that was a nightmare. I have never seen such a mess in my entire life. I never thought a human being could make such a mess. I mean when you consider how tiny his system is it's amazing how much sh…" 

"NOT AT THE TABLE!" Cover Girl snapped. 

"Really?" Pietro's ears perked up. "I remember this party I went to and I put all these laxatives in the punch. You should have seen the results! The entire football team nearly exploded! I never saw a toilet overflow…" 

"Pietro!" Cover Girl snapped.

"We're trying to eat here moron!" Daria snapped.

"You gotta tell me more about that!" Shipwreck told Pietro. "I've always hated jocks with a passion! I remember this one night, this cheerleader dumped me for this football player. So what I did was I put some cow manure in his car. I put it everywhere! His exhaust pipe, under the seat…"

"Okay, I have officially lost my appetite," Quinn groaned. 

"Oh god," Cover Girl groaned. "Two of them in the same house!" 

"This is going to be soooo much fun," Low Light sighed. 

"So are we going to start training tomorrow?" Wanda asked.

"Sort of," Shipwreck explained.

"The plan is to ease you kids into it," Cover Girl told them. "Since your systems are still recovering from de-tox. Here's how it will go. You wake up at 6 am…."

"Six in the morning?" Pietro yelped.

"No six in the afternoon," Shipwreck wisecracked. "Look I have to get up at five so don't come crying to me! Not to mention I'm on round the clock call for the kid here." He pointed to Claudius. 

"As I was saying," Cover Girl continued. "You will have breakfast and do some exercises. Althea and the others will go to training. The two of you will start your therapy sessions, both psychiatric and physical. It involves weights and will help you two get your bodies back in shape."

"But I feel fine," Wanda said.

"That's because you haven't done anything for the past week," Cover Girl told her. "Remember, those drugs did a number on your systems. You'd be surprised how much damage to the body they can do."

"Tell me about it," Pietro sighed. "When I ran off I could barely run a few miles without collapsing. I couldn't even move! I've never been that weak!" 

"After lunch you two will go to be tutored with the rest of the kids," Low Light told them. "School is from 12:30 to 4pm. You can see Toad and Blob there as well."

"I'll show you where it is," Althea told them. "We then get to do some fun stuff for an hour, like an art class or some games until dinner." 

"Tomorrow I'd like you two to come back and show you what chores you'll be expected to do," Shipwreck told them. 

"We have to do chores?" Wanda asked, surprised. "Like what?"

"Well in addition to keeping your rooms clean we operate on a rotating schedule," Shipwreck told her. "We take turns polishing, vacuuming, cleaning the bathrooms, doing the laundry, ironing. Of course with so many people here we have to do these things nearly every day to keep things clean."

"Tell me about it," Brittany grumbled.

"And if you misbehave you could end up doing extra chores as part of your punishment," Althea grinned at the Triplets. "Right girls?"

"Shut up!" Daria snapped. 

"Sounds fair," Pietro shrugged. "Hey, it beats getting hit."

"You would say that Mr. I Can Clean A Room in a Quarter Second!" Wanda snapped.

"Actually it's two to five seconds depending on the room," Pietro corrected her. "Besides, I'm more of a neat freak than you are, so it's really not a problem for me." 

"You weren't exactly Mr. Clean at the Brotherhood House!" Wanda told him.

"Hey that place was a dump long before I moved in!" Pietro snapped. "I mean even I can't work miracles!" 

"Okay now listen up," Shipwreck told them. "Now just because you ain't gonna get hit that doesn't mean you kids will have the run of the place! We ain't soft! In fact you might find this will be the hardest challenge of your lives! I'm gonna expect a lot out of you! And I want you to do your best and behave yourselves. Understand? If you think I'm a softie, ask my girls."

"Trust me," Althea said. "You really do not want to get on his bad side! So don't give him any grief, okay?"

"You're one to talk!" Shipwreck snapped. "You talk back to me all the time!"

"When you deserve it!" Althea told him. "Besides, I'm a lot more responsible than you are! Who do you think is always watching out for the kids? And in charge of the household schedule **and **making sure you don't do something stupid?"

"That's a full time job in itself," Cover Girl said.

"You gotta admit, she has a point," Low Light said. 

"It's not like I go around lying and doing stuff behind your back!" Althea told him.

"That's the trouble!" Shipwreck snapped. "You are too damn honest!"

"Shipwreck!" Cover Girl groaned.

"Well she is!" Shipwreck snapped. "Imagine paying for a couple of grapes!"

"Oh you are still not hung up about that are you?" Althea groaned. "That was over a year ago! Get over it!" 

"I was never so embarrassed in my life! All those people looking at me at the supermarket trying to figure out how much a handful of grapes cost!" Shipwreck snapped. 

"Yeah a handful from a dozen or so bunches!" Althea snapped. "You were sampling food from all over the store like it was a buffet! It was embarrassing!"

"I was trying to find out how fresh they were!" Shipwreck snapped. "You have to do that to check the quality."

"Oh I see, and you were checking the quality of the chocolate syrup when you grabbed it off the shelf opened it up, squirted it on a banana and then put it back!" Althea said sarcastically. "And then you ate the banana while dunking it in some whipped cream!" 

"You're supposed to be a ninja! You're supposed to be a little dishonest!" Shipwreck snapped. "Wait a minute, what about the spaceship you stole? Huh?"

"Spaceship?" Pietro asked.  
"I didn't steal it," Althea explained. "I borrowed it. Besides I helped fix it and I figured it needed a test drive."

"With your boyfriend?" Shipwreck asked.

"He helped too," Althea snapped. "We were coming back."

"Yeah right after you nearly slammed the X-Jet into a mountain and panicked the entire Easter Seaboard!" Shipwreck snapped back.

"What? Wait a minute…" Pietro looked. "What did you do?"

"I'll tell you later," Althea sighed. 

"This I gotta hear," Wanda said. 

"I hate to break up this warm family moment," Low Light sighed. "But I think it's time we cleared the table and called it an early night. We have a lot to do tomorrow."

"He's right," Cover Girl said. 

"Hey Low Light I just thought of something. Where are you going to sleep?" Althea asked. "There's no more room in the house!" 

"Well you can move into my room," Shipwreck said. "And I could go into Cover Girl's room…"

Cover Girl drew out a knife and held it in front of Shipwreck's face. "Or not…" 

"You are going to sleep with Low Light," She told him. "Someone needs to keep an eye on your hormones! Which are probably even worse than the kids! At least they have an excuse! Not to mention better control!" 

"Oh no!" Low Light said. "I am not sleeping in the same room with him! No way! No how!" 

************************************************************************

"I can't believe I am doing this!" Low Light grumbled as he lay in the bed. 

"Now promise you'll be gentle?" Shipwreck cackled as he brushed his teeth.

"Do you want to wake up at all?" Low Light asked him.

"Relax," Shipwreck told him. "It's only for tonight. I'll round up a cot for you in the morning."

"Wonderful," Low Light groaned. "I should have slept on the couch."

"You can't," Shipwreck told him. "It's broken. Blob sat on it the other day."

"Even more wonderful," Low Light sighed. The sound of shrieking laugher came from down the hall. "What is going on with those two girls?"

"It's okay," Shipwreck waved. "I told them they could stay up a bit. Cover Girl is with them. They're going to have a little slumber party tonight. You know, gossip, play music, paint each other's toenails, try to cast spells and hexes on people. Girl stuff." 

"You're letting them have a party?" Low Light blinked.

"Lighten up," Shipwreck told him. "Look you know the life Wanda's had. She deserves a little female bonding fun. It will do her some good. Make her feel more comfortable." 

"Great," Low Light grumbled. "What about Pietro?"

"He needs a little down time," Shipwreck said. "But I plan on spending a little one on one time with him tomorrow. Male bonding stuff."

"Translation, you are going to show him the proper form for goofing off," Low Light groaned. "For once I am ready to hit the hay."

"Nightmares still bothering you huh?" Shipwreck asked. 

"Yeah," Low Light grumbled. 

"Good night Honey!" Shipwreck snickered as he got into bed.

"Don't honey me!" Low Light glared at him. "Just remember I have been trained in twenty different ways to kill a man! And four of them are not endorsed by the army for being too violent!" 

"Will you relax! Man you are so uptight. Good night, Low Light," Shipwreck sighed as he settled in.

"AWK GOOD NIGHT BARNICLE BRAIN!" Polly squawked from his perch.

"Shut up bird!" Shipwreck snapped.

"You shut up!" Polly shot back.

"WHY DON'T YOU BOTH SHUT UP!" Low Light shouted. 

"Don't worry," Shipwreck told him. "It's just a game we play to help Polly sleep. We should be done in an hour or so. Shut up bird!" 

"Shut up!" Polly cackled.

"That's it! This is not going to work!" Low Light grabbed his pillow and a blanket. 

"Where are you going?" Shipwreck called out.

"To the basement!" Low Light told him. He went down and found Pietro drawing something on the walls. 

"What are you doing?" Pietro asked.

"I could ask you the same thing," Low Light told him. He found a sleeping bag in a corner of the basement. "Why are you drawing on the walls? What would Shipwreck say if he knew you were doing this?"

"He already knows. It was his idea."

"Why am I not shocked?" Low Light grumbled as he made his bed. "I'm sleeping with you tonight kid! Shipwreck is too weird. Incidentally why is he letting you draw on the walls?"

"He said that this placed lacked ambiance and he told me I could decorate it however I wanted," Pietro told him. "I figured I could use this time constructively. Fix up the place, make and hang a few curtains, do some reading, make some new clothes…"

"What about sleeping?"

"Thanks to my metabolism I don't need as much sleep as most humans," Pietro told him. "Just a few hours and I'm good to go." 

" I thought I was good at staying awake," Low Light groaned. "Stupid nightmares made it a necessity for me." 

"You have nightmares?" Pietro asked quietly. 

Low Light grudgingly responded. "Yeah." 

"Bad ones?"

Low Light nodded. Pietro played with his fingers. "Do they ever go away?" 

"Let's just say it's something I deal with," Low Light sighed. 

There was silence for a while. "You wanna talk about something else?" Pietro asked. 

"Please do," Low Light sighed. 

"You know you don't seem so bad," Pietro said. "I mean you do remind me a bit of Wolverine, but you don't seem as psychotic."

"Oh I am. I'm just better at hiding it." 

"So what do you do?"

"I'm a marksman."

"Really?" Pietro's eyes went wide. "You mean you shoot people for a living?"

"Yes," Low Light said. "So don't try anything around me. Got it?"

"We're not supposed to get hit," Pietro said.

"Didn't say anything about hitting," Low Light told him. "Maiming maybe, but not hitting." 

"You're bluffing!" Pietro blinked. 

"Try me," Low Light looked at him. "Kid I have lived through hell and back. Trust me, I am not afraid of a little pain or dishing it out." 

"Like our lives?" Pietro asked. His tone was slightly irritated.

"Well my father tried to kill me too if that's what you're asking!" Low Light snapped. "Sorry. Didn't mean it like that."

"I should be the one who's sorry," Pietro said softly. "Why?"

"Because he thought I was weak and he was ashamed of me," The words came out of Low Light's mouth before he could tell the kid it was none of his damned business. He saw Pietro's face and felt a pang of sympathy for the boy. 

"I know how that feels," Pietro said.

"Look kid," Low Light sighed. "The point is he was wrong and so was your father. I don't really know why he hated me so much he wanted to kill me and to be honest I don't really care anymore. Sometimes you have to put your parents behind you as well as your past. You may be nuts kid, not to mention one of the biggest pain in the behinds I have ever met…but you're not weak and useless. Trust me. I can tell." 

Pietro looked at him. "You guys really know what it's like don't you?" Pietro asked. "I mean, you don't just say stuff because it sounds right. Not like the X-Geeks. Most of them have no clue how hard it can be. I mean, you actually have been through a lot of it yourselves." 

"Yeah well we've all had our share of pain. Comes with the territory," Low Light sighed. "Can we please talk about something else? I'm already depressed enough. If we continue more with this conversation I'll get suicidal!" 

"Okay, if you could be any kind of lip gloss, what color would you be?"

"What?" 

"I found that question in a Cosmo I read. I think I would be Passionberry Peach. But sometimes I think I'm more of a Romantic Red. What do you think?" 

"I think I am starting to miss the nightmares about the rats," Low Light groaned. 

"Well if neither of us can sleep we might as well do something constructive! Puppet time!" Pietro pulled out a small dog puppet. 

"Where did you get that?" Low Light asked.

"I made it myself out of some old rags. Took me only a second to make them all."

"All? How many did you make?" Low Light gulped. 

"Twenty seven," Pietro shrugged. "Come on! Let's put on a show!" 

"Let's not and say this never happened!" Low Light got his things and nearly ran out of the basement. There was only one place left for Low Light to go and he went there. 

"Move over kid!" Low Light stormed into the room, dragging a pillow and a sleeping bag. "I need to sleep in a room with someone sane! And you'll have to do!"

"Gaahhh?" Claudius looked at him funny from his crib. 

"Tell me about it," Low Light grumbled as he settled in. 

**If you think you have it bad Low Light, wait until you see how Mystique is doing! **


	15. Family Counseling, Dreadnok Style

**It's time for a little Mystique torture! Now normally I'm not really a fan of spanking. However, some people clearly deserve it! **

**Family Counseling, Dreadnok Style**

Mystique had always believed that the Brotherhood were the most uncivilized, undisciplined slobs she had ever had the misfortune to live with. Until now. She kicked several empty bottles off the front porch. "This is intolerable!" She snapped. "I thought the Brotherhood were lazy slobs! But you Dreadnoks are the worst! Look at this! I've got doughnut crumbs all over my boots!" 

"Aw come on Mystie," Monkeywrench let out a loud burp from his hammock. "It's not that bad!"

"It's an utter dump!" Mystique snarled. "It was cleaner in prison!"

"Well you can always go back there if it's so bad here!" Zanya snapped. "For the past few days all I've been hearing is your whining! So shut it!" 

"Who do you think you are talking to me like that?" Mystique whirled on her. "If your father was here…"

"Well he's not! And even if he were he'd tell you the same thing! If I can live in this swamp for nearly my entire life you can tolerate it for a few days!" Zanya shouted. "Although I don't know why you're complaining. The swamp seems to be a step up for gutter trash like you!" 

"That's it you little…" Mystique swung at her. Zanya ducked it and kicked her in the stomach. "Alright…if that's the way you want to play…" 

Mystique charged and grabbed Zanya. Soon both of them were rolling around on the dirt. "HEY GUYS GET OUT HERE!" Monkeywrench got up from his hammock and shouted to the rest of the Dreadnoks. "THE BATTLE OF THE CENTURY'S GOING ON OUT HERE!" 

"What the…?" Ripper came out. "WHOOOIEEEE! Look at them go!" 

"I'm going to teach you to show me respect once and for all!" Mystique raged at Zanya.

"Yeah right!" Zanya spat in her face. "What can a tramp like you do?" 

"Oh you wanna know huh?" Mystique twisted Zanya's arm and dragged her to a downed log.

"What are you doing?" Zanya screamed as Mystique forced her to bend over it. 

"How about this!" Mystique whacked Zanya on the behind with her open palm repeatedly. "And this! And this! And this!"

"Leggo you witch!" Zanya screamed in pain. "You are so dead!" 

"And who's gonna stop…meeeeeeeee!" Mystique yelped in agony as Zarana grabbed her. Zanya took the opportunity to get away. 

"I told you once you blue skinned bimbo!" Zarana yanked Mystique's hair. "NOBODY LAYS A HAND ON THAT GIRL BUT FAMILY!" 

Zarana tossed Mystique backward right into the swamp. "Thanks Zarana," Zanya gasped. "Now help me teach her a lesson she'll never forget!" 

"With pleasure!" Both women started tearing at Mystique. The male Dreadnoks were whooping with delight at the scene. 

"Oh man this is better than the Spice Channel!" Monkeywrench hooted. 

"Shouldn't we do something?" Buzzer asked.

"Don't worry," Torch told him. He was holding a camera. "I'm already taping it!"

"That's good," Buzzer nodded. "Give her a good thrashing Zanya!" 

"I don't know who's gonna win this one but I don't care!" Ripper howled with laughter. 

"KILL HER ZARANA!" Road Pig howled. "Oh dear! That's got to hurt!" 

"Hold her down while I give her a taste of her own medicine!" Zanya screamed as she grabbed a flat board. While Zarana held her face down, Zanya whacked her behind with it.

"YEEEOOOWWW!" Mystique yelped as Zanya hit her several times.

"Whatsa matter?" Zanya cackled. "You can dish it out, but you can't take it!" 

"TAKE THIS!" Mystique snarled before transforming herself into a bear. Zarana tumbled off in shock. She roared as she advanced on the two Dreadnok females.

"Blimey!" Zarana gasped. 

"Big deal!" Zanya snapped. "So she's a little hairier! She still ain't invulnerable!" She kicked the bear in the snout. Before Mystique could react she leapt over her and grabbed onto her ears. 

"Ride 'em Zanya!" Ripper whooped as Zarana grabbed a rope and tried to tie Mystique up. 

Mystique changed form again back to her regular self, tossing Zanya to the ground. Then she squared off with Zarana. Zanya took the opportunity to bite her hard on the leg. 

"YEOWWW!" Mystique tried to pry her off. "YOU LITTLE…."

A laser shot fired over their heads. They stopped brawling and looked at Zartan holding his weapon, scowling at them. "CEASE THIS AT ONCE!" He bellowed.

"SHE STARTED IT!" They all shouted. They all pointed at each other. 

"SHUT UP!" Zartan snarled. "I don't care who started it! I go away for a few hours and find you at each other's throats! How do you expect to take over Cobra when you can't even control yourselves?"

"Take over Cobra?" Zanya blinked. "You're kidding right?"

"You've gone batty," Zarana said. 

"On the contrary," Zartan grinned. "I've never been saner. That's why I brought Mystique in to help us."

"Forget this!" Mystique spat. "I will not work with these pigs and this intolerable urchin!"

"Do you want revenge on the X-Men or not?" Zartan snapped. "Not to mention protection from Magneto? Or GI Joe? And let's not forget to create an empire for mutants as well."

Mystique sulked. "And you daughter," Zartan whirled on Zanya. "Do you want to spend the rest of your life in this swamp? Wouldn't you prefer to become a leader of a powerful army? A queen in your own right?"

"No sir," Zanya said. "I'm sorry if I disappointed you in any way. I'll take the responsibility but not the blame, it was **her **fault!" She pointed at Mystique. 

"Yeah!" Monkeywrench spoke up. "Mystique was complaining as usual and Zanya was just trying to calm her down when she goes ballistic and starts wailing on her!" 

"You stupid lying…" Mystique growled. 

"I may be stupid lady, but I ain't no idiot!" Monkeywrench told her.

"Yeah he knows which side his bread is buttered on," Ripper snickered.

"Yeah she was trying to discipline the kid for no reason," Zarana said. "That's why I stepped in!" 

"I see," Zartan rolled his eyes. He thought it was high time to lay down the law. As much as he enjoyed Mystique's company, he trusted her as much as a pit of rattlers. His daughter and sister were far more loyal as well as family. "Mystique, I need you as an ally but I will not tolerate you showing disrespect to your teammates as well as my second in command." 

"Allies? These bozos?" She spat. "They're human for crying out loud! What makes you think they'll help us?"

"Listen Smurfette," Buzzer snapped. "As long as we get paid lots of cash we don't care if Pokemon take over the bloody planet!" 

"There does that satisfy you?" Zartan asked her. "I will not tolerate you trying to discipline either my troops or my daughter without my approval. That is my job. Therefore you must be punished."

"What makes you think I'm just going to take whatever you decide to do to me?" Mystique snapped. 

"If you don't I'll toss you out of this swamp and find another shapeshifter to help me," Zartan told her. "Or maybe I'll simply do this…" He whispered into her ear. 

Mystique's eyes widened. "You wouldn't dare!" 

"Try me," He growled. Then a gleam came into his eye. "Besides if you go through with it, I might be more disposed to, shall we say…make up for it?" He whispered into her ear.

"Is that even possible?" Mystique gasped.

"Your choice," Zartan shrugged. "A little pain and humiliation now for a lot of pleasure later or…simply a lot of pain." 

"Fine," Mystique sighed. _I am going to get him for this! _

"Good," Zartan roughly grabbed her and threw her over his knee. "Now pay attention girls," He said to his sister and daughter. "Next time I catch you roughhousing again I'll do this to you!" He started swatting Mystique's behind rapidly. 

"OWWW!" Mystique screamed as she was spanked, her ears burning at the hoots and snickers of the Dreadnoks surrounding her. _Enjoy it for now you morons! I swear you are all going to pay for this! _ She thought. 

**Okay, now that that's out of my system, let's go back to the boys shall we? **


	16. Night Fears

**And now, more fluffiness! Yes this story is full of it. It's time for more Todd and Fred and a little tenderness! Awwwwww…**

**Night Fears**

Roadblock sighed as he lay in bed. It had been a long day. For some reason Todd and Fred had decided to cook breakfast for him. This took about two hours to clean up. And another hour to clean up after the clean up process. (Let's just say now Roadblock had some new holes in his walls.) 

By now Roadblock had decided that maybe having the two mutants do chores around the apartment was not really a good idea. Especially after he had to call for a plumber's services after Todd decided to 'help' clean the bathroom. Basically the entire day had been spent on cleaning up after Todd and Fred's efforts to clean up. 

Roadblock decided to try and sleep in order to forget the day when he heard something moving in the kitchen. Dreading to find out what it was he got up and went to it. He wasn't too shocked to find that it was Fred rummaging around. What did surprise him was that Fred's eyes were red. He'd been crying. 

"I can't sleep," Fred sniffed. "Do we have any chicken left?" 

"No," Roadblock sighed. "What's wrong Fred? Why aren't you in bed?"

"I had a nightmare," Fred played with his fingers. "I always get hungry after I have a nightmare."

"How about I make you some hot cocoa while you tell me all about it?" Roadblock told him. Fred sat down at the table while Roadblock fixed it up. "So what was the dream about?"

"Nothin'," Fred shrugged. "Just stupid stuff…"

"There's nothing to be ashamed of," Roadblock told him. "You can talk to me. That's what I'm here for." 

Fred seemed to hold his breath. "I was in that lab, when we got caught by the sentinel," He started slowly. "You know, the one from…"

"I remember," Roadblock nodded.

"I could see everything," Fred said. "I couldn't move or talk, but I knew what was going on. It was back in Area 51. I remember watching them remove the others from that green hard gunk. I was last. I remember them shoving the others into their cells. Then it was my turn. Only in my dream, they decided not to let me out. They kept me in there like I was some kind of trophy. They were laughing at me, calling me names. And I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even scream it was…" 

"It's all right kid," Roadblock patted him on the back. "It's okay."

"I know nothing happened to us there," Fred said trembling. "I know that. But that scared me more than anything. It was worse than the circus. At least in the circus they didn't do experiments on you. I…I don't know what would have happened to us if we were stuck there." 

"But you weren't," Roadblock consoled him. "Nothing bad happened to you." 

"We got lucky that no one recognized us," ***** Fred sighed. "Otherwise…" 

"I know," Roadblock sighed. "Believe me. I understand." 

"Roadblock? What happens if we aren't good enough for you?"

"What?"

"If we can't cut it," Fred sniffed. "If we can't become good soldiers will you send us back to that Area 51?"

"That's not going to happen," Roadblock told him.

"But what if it does?"

"It won't! I promise. It's true, we ain't gonna let them take any of you."

"Todd said we ain't supposed to be here," Fred said. "What if they find us? What if they order you to send us away?"

"Don't worry about that," Roadblock told him. "Hawk's got a few friends. And we've got a few tricks up our sleeve. So don't even think about those things!" 

"I'm trying to be good Mr. Roadblock, really I am," Fred said. "I'm just not good at it." 

"I know Fred," Roadblock sighed. "But you're not as bad as you think you are. You are a very strong boy and a hard worker. Just keep trying. Now go to bed." 

Fred got up when they both heard a strangled cry. "Oh no!" Roadblock gasped. He raced to the bedroom.

"What's going on?" Fred asked, following him. He saw Todd wildly tossing in his sleep. "What's wrong with him?" 

"Nightmares," Roadblock explained, trying to hold him down. "He gets them bad from time to time. Kid wake up! Todd! Todd! Wake up!" 

Todd woke up with a cry. He clung to Roadblock tightly. "It's okay," Roadblock held him. "It's okay…."

"What happened?" Fred asked. "What's wrong?" 

"It was one of those bad dreams huh?" Roadblock gently mussed Todd's hair. "You haven't had one of those in a long time." 

Todd whimpered as Roadblock held him. Roadblock looked at Fred. He looked upset. "Is he gonna be okay?" Fred asked in a small voice.

"Yeah," Roadblock nodded. He looked at Todd. "You're gonna be okay, aren't you?" Todd feebly nodded. "See, you're gonna be fine." 

"Feel so stupid," Todd grumbled.

"Don't be," Roadblock told him. "There are a lot of adults with the same problem on this base. Some are so afraid of them they don't sleep for days."

"Really?" Todd asked.

"Really," Roadblock nodded. 

"It's just…" Todd fumbled with the words. "I feel so trapped and helpless. It drives me crazy. It's like I'm back in the lab again." He shuddered. "And that incident with Mag-nut-o didn't help any." 

"I know," Roadblock sighed. "Do you two want to sit up and talk a while?"

"Nah," Todd waved. "Now that I know Freddy's here, I'll be okay. How about you Fred?"

"I'll be okay too," Fred nodded. 

"Okay," Roadblock said. "Now get back to bed you two." They did so. "Good night."

"G'night Roadblock," Fred said.

"Night Dad," Todd said sleepily. 

Roadblock smiled warmly and went back to his room. "You call him Dad?" Fred asked.

"Sometimes," Todd said. "It's okay. He said if I felt like it I could call him that. Outside of training of course."

"Oh," Fred said. "He really acts like a dad doesn't he? Sometimes."

"Sometimes."

"Hey Toad, I've been meaning to ask, have you heard anything about Lance?"

"Nothin'. Althea sent Polly to look around, but they're really hiding him good. Can't find him anywhere. He may not even be on the base. Could be on one of those secret training bases. They do that sometimes." 

"Oh," Fred repeated. "They ain't gonna hurt him are they?"

"They ain't hurtin' him!" He said. "I know cause I went through the exact same stuff. It's mostly training and therapy. Nothing bad. Trust me." 

Fred sighed and turned in his bed. "Toad…you think I can do this? Be a soldier?"

"Course you can! Hey I did it!"

"That's true." 

"You'll be fine Freddy," Todd closed his eyes. "Trust me." 

*** Alternate universe, remember? In this world they weren't recognized until much later! Next up, you've been waiting for it…Lance comes back! Now the fun really begins! **


	17. Welcome Back Lance

**Welcome Back Lance**

Another week passed with relatively few incidents. If one didn't count the obstacle course being destroyed several times. One day Todd and Fred were waiting for the others at the exercise field. "I wonder what's keeping them yo?" Todd scratched his head. 

"Dunno. Maybe Pietro and Shipwreck are arguing over who's the better ladies man again?" Fred shrugged.

"Boy those two have some real stupid arguments don't they?" Todd asked. "Remember that time we went over and they got into a pudding war over what flavor was better?" 

"Do I?" Fred laughed. "That was really dumb. Everybody knows chocolate is the best!"

"Come on Freddy," Todd looked at him. "Sure chocolate is great, I'll give you that, but for those of us with truly sophisticated pallets, vanilla goes down much nicer."

"Sophisticated my butt Toad! You eat bugs!" 

"So does Roadblock!"

"Yeah those gourmet things covered in…CHOCOLATE!" 

"Chocolate just happens to go better with insects," Todd sniffed. "If you want pudding by itself after a big meal, vanilla is better. In fact, you can even have vanilla for breakfast if you mix it in with fruit and granola." 

"That's vanilla yogurt!"

"Same difference."

"Well chocolate is better anyway."

"No vanilla is!" 

"Chocolate!" Fred shouted.

"Vanilla!" Todd shouted.

"Well it's nice to see that the two of you haven't stopped having philosophical debates." 

They turned to the direction of the voice and to their surprise saw Lance standing there with a huge smirk on his face. He was wearing a black T-shirt, brown pants with black boots. "I don't know what I've missed more," He snickered. "Your intelligent grasp on the issues or your sparkling wit." 

"Lance!" They both screamed.

"Buddy!" Todd hopped up and leapt onto Lance, nearly knocking him to the ground. Lance barely escaped Todd's embrace when he was crushed by Fred's bear hug. 

"Aw man get off me!" Lance gasped.

"Oh man!" Fred sniffed. "I promised myself I wouldn't cry! Are you okay? Did they hurt you? They didn't give you electric shocks did they?"

"Fred you've seen too many movies!" Todd rolled his eyes. "They don't do stuff like that!" 

"Yeah Blob its no big deal," Lance finally escaped Fred's embrace. "It wasn't anything I couldn't handle." 

"Told you," Todd told Fred. He turned to Lance. "You okay?"

"Yeah well," Lance shrugged. "As well as can be expected, you know?"

"Yeah I know," Todd sighed. 

"Sorry we're late," Althea came up with Pietro, Wanda and the Triplets. "The Triplets and the Twins got into a screaming war. Hey!" She saw Lance. "Welcome back."

"LANCE!" Pietro cried out with joy and jumped into his arms. "Miss me?"

"Like I'd miss a cold," Lance said sarcastically dropping him. He gave him a mock punch in the arm. "So I hear you guys are all living together with Shipwreck. How's that?"

"Like a three ring circus," Althea groaned. "Every day these nuts go crazier and crazier! And my dad is the ringmaster!" 

"Now the triplets all have a crush on me!" Pietro groaned. Quinn and Brittany were hanging on each arm.

"I don't," Daria sniffed. She looked at Lance. "You on the other hand seem more like my type."

"Oh no…" Lance blinked. "Uh…I'm still recovering from my last relationship."

"I could help," Daria grinned. 

"Why don't the three of you go help set up the obstacle course," Althea shoved them away.

"Spoilsport!" Daria stuck out her tongue.

"Now I'm starting to know how you felt Wanda when Toad had a crush on you!" Pietro groaned, rubbing his arms trying to get some feeling back. 

"You used to like Wanda?" Althea asked. "What were you a couple or something?"

"Not exactly," Wanda groaned.

"Hey it wasn't like what you and me got babe!" Todd told her. "No offense Wanda. I just outgrew you, that's all."

"None taken believe me," Wanda waved. 

"You never told me about this," Althea raised an eyebrow. "I want details." 

"Okay he drove me crazy," Wanda sighed. "That detailed enough for you?"

"WHAT?" Althea flared.

"Not that kind of crazy!" Todd protested. 

"I wasn't interested in him at all," Wanda explained.

"Why not?" Althea asked.

"I've wanted to ask you the same question," Todd remarked. 

"All right everybody!" Roadblock came up. "Time to exercise!"

"Yes sir!" They all shouted and stood at attention. Soon they had completed the obstacle course. A few of the obstacles were even left standing when they had finished. 

"Well you are all getting better," Roadblock sighed. "Some things are actually left standing this time. All right, all of you to the dojo! Off you go!" 

They went to the changing rooms where they put on their white training uniforms. Lance took something out of his locker. It was a bottle with blue pills. He took one and washed it down with some water from the bubbler. 

"What's that yo?" Todd asked. 

"Just my medication," Lance told him. "Helps counter the side effects of…my condition. I'm probably gonna have to be on it for the rest of my life." 

"I'm sorry," Pietro said.

"Hey," Lance shrugged. "No big deal. Way I see it, I'm lucky to be alive." 

"No I mean…" Pietro's voice was very small. "I'm sorry about…" 

"I don't blame you Pietro," Lance told him. "I blame Magneto and Mystique for doing those things to us. And myself for letting it happen to me. There was nothing you could have done. I know, I tried to fight him and I failed." 

"Don't blame yourself yo," Todd said. "Magneto's too strong to take on alone." 

Lance leaned against the wall. "You were right Toad, the physical stuff was nothing compared to all that therapy."

"Why what happened?" Fred asked. 

"Freddy!" Todd elbowed him. "You ain't supposed to ask him that! It's private!"

"No it's okay," Lance waved. "I just had to face some rather unpleasant facts about myself, that's all." 

"Oh," Fred said quietly. 

"The worst part of it was realizing how weak I was," Lance sighed. "After that…it wasn't so bad. I just needed some help you know?"

"I know," Todd nodded. "I still go to Psyche-Out to talk. But it does help."

"Yeah we're all going," Pietro sighed. "Personally I'm still not convinced it's not a big waste of time. That guy's crazier than we are." 

"That's just his method," Fred told him. "I think it's to make us feel that he's not judging us. That we don't think he doesn't think he's better than us or something."

"That's pretty smart coming from you," Lance raised an eyebrow. 

"Well I'm starting to read some of those self help and psychology books," Fred scratched his head. "Course Toad and Psyche-Out have to help me with some of the words. But I gotta admit, its interesting reading." 

"The Blob studying psychology," Lance chuckled. "That is frightening." 

"Not as frightening as my sister and Toad's psycho girlfriend," Pietro told them.

"HEY!" A voice came from the ventilation shaft. 

"What the?" Todd hopped up and looked through. "ALTHEA!" 

"What?" She asked. She and Wanda were watching through the vent. "It's not like I was looking at you in the shower!"

"You are so weird," Wanda groaned. 

"Hey I can't help it if my Toddles' body is irresistible," Althea told her.

"Okay that is way too much information here!" Lance told her. 

"Will you two perverts get out of here!" Pietro shouted.

"I wasn't doing anything!" Wanda snapped. "**She** was doing all the looking!"

"Except when Lance was in his boxers," Althea smirked. 

Lance gave out a cry and the room started to shake. Both girls disappeared laughing. "Toad your girlfriend is totally nuts!" Lance snapped after the tremors subsided. 

"I could have told you that," Pietro said. "She's becoming a bad influence on Wanda. Yesterday the two of them attacked me with whipped cream just because I accidentally happened to overhear one of their girly conversations." 

"What were they talking about yo?" Todd asked. 

"Trust me Toad, you don't want to know," Pietro sighed as they walked out of the lockers. They met the girls inside the dojo where the Blind Master also awaited them. 

"All right," The Blind Master told them. "Today we'll be pairing up and practicing our fighting techniques."

"All right!" Althea grinned. 

"Word of warning to whoever ends up fighting Althea," Todd said. "Stay down. Trust me on this." 

"Then you'd better take your own advice," The Blind Master smiled. 

"Aw man," Todd groaned. 

"Today you two will be doing Bo staff combat," The Blind Master told them. "The others will be doing hand to hand." 

"Oh well that's not so bad," Todd said, picking up his Bo staff. "I'm getting real good at this!" 

"Now for the rest of you watch what they do," The Blind Master told them as they got into position. "Begin!" 

The others watched in amazement as the two of them fought. They both managed to block the other's attacks easily. The clack of wood upon wood filled the room as they dodged, weaved and flipped around each other. "Man Toad is really good at this!" Pietro marveled.

"Althea's no slouch either," Lance admitted. 

"All right," The Blind Master stopped them. "Very good. You both know each other's movements perfectly." 

"Hey I could do this blindfolded!" Todd crowed.

"Good idea," The Blind Master smiled. "It's time you started that part of your training anyway." 

"Oh me and my big mouth!" Todd grumbled as the Blind Master gave him a blindfold. 

"Just use your senses," The Blind Master told them as they put them on. "Begin!" 

"Hey how are we supposed to…" Todd began. "YEOWCH!" Althea whacked him on the head with her Bo staff. She then tripped him up and he fell to the ground. 

"Good job Toad," Althea snickered as she cornered him with her staff. "Just keep talking. Makes it easier to find you."

"I think it's safe to say Althea wins this one," The Blind Master said. 

"How do you do this?" Todd groaned as he removed the blindfold. 

"You must learn to use your other senses," The Blind Master said. "See the world without your eyes. I do it all the time." 

"Just when I think I got the hang of this ninja stuff," Todd grumbled. "I fall flat on my face!" 

"Just keep getting back up," The Blind Master told him. "Okay now for the rest of you. Lance, Pietro you two first." 

"We're not gonna have to do this blindfolded are we?" Lance asked.

"Not yet," The Blind Master told him. "Let's see how you do in hand to hand combat with your eyes open first. Remember no powers! This is about skill." 

"Ha! I got skill to spare!" Pietro boasted.

"Begin!" The Blind Master called out.

"Prepare to go down Pietro!" Lance lunged at him. Pietro easily dodged. In fact he used his speed to lightly tap Lance from behind. 

"Behind you! Right here! No! Right here!" Pietro cackled as he dodged.

"Hey! He's cheating yo!" Todd snapped.

"Why does this not surprise me?" Wanda asked.

"Pietro you're not supposed to use your powers!" Lance snapped.

"Nyahh!" Pietro stuck out his tongue dodging him. "Please, I'm barely using them at all! You're so slow!" 

"Oh fine if that's the way you want to play!" Lance shouted, focusing on his powers.

"Hey!" The Blind Master shouted as the room shook. "Cut that out!"

"Your earthquakes may slow everyone else down, but not Quicksilver!" Pietro taunted as he raced towards him. 

"Cut it out Pietro!" Wanda shot out a hexbolt at him, but ended up hitting Lance. 

"Don't hit my sweetie!" Daria screamed, tackling Wanda.

"Cut it out you little brat!" Althea grabbed Daria. Todd tried to help her drag her off Wanda. The other two twins tackled the both of them. Pietro laughed at them. Unfortunately he didn't notice Fred behind him. 

"That's not funny Pietro!" Fred tried to grab him, but at the last second he dodged. Fred fell flat on his face. "I'm gonna kill you!"

"Not if I get him first!" Lance got up and chased after him. Soon all the students were fighting amongst themselves. 

"Ha! Ha!" Pietro zipped along laughing. "Can't catch me you slowpokes! Can't …WHOA!" Something struck him down. He looked up and saw the Blind Master standing over him. "How did you **do **that?" 

"KNOCK IT OFF!" The Blind Master screamed. Everyone stopped fighting. 

"Uh oh," Todd gulped. "I think we're in trouble." 

"One of the first lessons in martial arts is learning self control. Obviously we have a lot to work on," The Blind Master growled. 

************************************************************************

"Well that was fun," Lance sighed after they had cleaned up. The Blind Master had made them clean up the dojo as well as doing several exercises." Thanks a lot Pietro!"

"Shut up," Pietro grumbled rubbing his arms. "I can't believe he made me work with all those weights on my arms and legs!"

"It was the only way he could think of to slow you down!" Wanda snapped. "You deserved it!" 

"More fun to come," Todd told him. "School after lunch." 

"Yippee," Pietro said without enthusiasm. 

"Hey what's that over there?" Lance pointed to several interesting small robotic objects loaded with missiles. 

"Just some of the robots they have here," Todd told them.

"Robots?" Lance asked. "Cool!" 

"Man my back is sore," Althea groaned. "Toad I said my back is sore!" 

"Huh? Oh right!" Todd started massaging her back.

"You have him trained well," Wanda smirked. 

"Well it's a two way street," Althea grinned as Todd started kissing her neck.

"Oh gross!" Daria grimaced.

"I think I am going to be violently ill!" Quinn groaned.

"Can't you two keep your hands off each other for one minute?" Brittany groaned. "Come on girls. Let's go ahead to school!" They left in a hurry. 

"Hey where'd the others go?" Wanda asked looking around.

"Man look at these things!" Pietro started playing around with the controls of one of the robots. 

"I don't think we should be doing this," Fred said nervously.

"Aw come on Blob," Lance told him. "We're just gonna look at them. What could happen? Hey what does this button do?" 

The machine started to move on it's own. "Cool! It works!" 

Lance's machine bumped into the robot Pietro was working on. "Oh a wise guy huh?" Pietro grabbed the control panel. "Take that!" He bumped Lance's robot.

"Hey! Robot Wars!" Fred grabbed a control panel. "Let's fight!"

"Hey you idiots cut it out!" Althea shouted as they began to have the robots bang into each other. 

"Smash! Smash!" Fred cried out.

"I will crush you Pietro!" Lance let out an evil laugh.

"I will be the robot master!" Pietro crowed. 

"You guys ain't supposed to touch those things!" Todd screamed. "I'm telling!" 

"Pietro! You morons stop it!" Wanda shouted. 

"What's going on here?" Beach Head shouted as he and Falcon ran over.

"Those battle drones are not toys!" Falcon shouted. 

"Flint they won't listen to us!" Althea shouted. 

"Who's the idiot that left those drones out here in the open?" Beach Head shouted. "They ain't even supposed to be out here!"

"Uh, that's not important right now Beach Head. BOYS KNOCK IT OFF!" Falcon shouted. They stormed up to the boys. 

Right when Lance hit one button that caused the robots to start firing the missiles. "DUCK!" Falcon hit the ground as one missile soared past his head right into a nearby empty tank. 

"Oops," Fred gulped. "That is not good." 

"Uh oh," Pietro noticed that all the battle drones were starting to lock onto each other as targets. "Neither is this…DUCK!" 

The battle drones fired upon each other. Soon nothing was left of them but smoking metal. The three of them were unharmed. A little scraped and singed, but unharmed. "I don't think that was the smartest thing we ever did," Fred gulped as some angry Joes and students glared at them. 

"Oh man you are so dead," Althea told them. 

"We told you not to touch them," Todd said. 

"You boys are real trouble magnets aren't you?" Beach Head glared. 


	18. Crimes and Some Punishment

**Crimes and Some Punishment**

Todd winced as she listened through the door along with the other two. "Man General Hawk is really tearing into them!" All three of them had their ears pressed to Hawk's office door. 

"Well they did nearly blow up the base," Althea whispered. "We're just lucky they decided not to blame us too!"

"Those three are so stupid!" Wanda grumbled. "Boy Falcon is getting it too!"

"Yeah well it is his fault that those battle drones were left out there where any idiot could get at them," Althea told her. "And apparently any idiot did."

"What were they doing out there anyway?" Todd asked. 

"Falcon was supposed to take them to the repair station to make sure that they didn't have any problems with the firing mechanisms," Althea said.

"Well look at the bright side, they didn't," Todd said. "What's gonna happen to them? The stockade? They gonna be shot or something?" 

"Well they're gonna do a lot of KP I can tell you that," Althea said. "And a lot worse!" 

"Worse?" Todd yelped. 

"SHHHH!" Both Wanda and Althea shushed him. 

"You wanna get us in trouble too?" Wanda hissed.

"Yeah we're not supposed to be here!" Althea reminded him. "Uh oh! Move it!" 

They disappeared around the corner just as the door opened. They saw the boys and Falcon being escorted by Beach Head. They did not look very happy. 

"Well they ain't in handcuffs," Althea said. "That's a good sign." 

They ducked behind the corner as Hawk stood in the doorway. "You three can come out here now," He told them. "I know you were listening at the door."

"How did you know yo?" Todd asked as he stuck his head out.

"Maybe if a certain idiot kept his big fat mouth shut!" Wanda snapped. 

"You weren't exactly Miss Quiet yourself," Althea told her. 

"That's enough," Hawk said. "I'm not angry at you. I should be but considering the circumstances I guess I can't blame you for being worried." 

"Sir," Todd asked. "What are you going to do to them?"

"Well besides two full months of KP duty they also have to do some maintenance duty for starters," Hawk said sternly. 

"Like what?" Wanda asked, dreading the answer.

"Cleaning all the bathrooms with a toothbrush right?" Althea asked.

"Oh yeah," Hawk nodded. "Two full days of doing that should cure them. As well as a few more training exercises we've cooked up for them."

"That's not good," Althea gulped. "That explains why you only gave them two days of cleaning."

"What? Are they gonna kill them?" Wanda asked.

"Let's just say we're going to make them work off all that extra energy," Hawk said. 

************************************************************************

"I told you we shouldn't have done that," Fred said as they started peeling the potatoes. They were in a huge room where there were wall to wall potatoes, literally. 

"Shut up Fred!" Pietro grumbled. "Man even with my powers it's gonna take me at least an hour to do all of these! But I'm not! You guys are just as much to blame. I'm not gonna do your share of the work!"

"You mean you want to take the lazy way out!" Lance snapped. "Where did they get all these potatoes? It's like Iowa exploded in here." 

"Trapped in a room with the three of you," Falcon groaned. "This is a nightmare! Blob! Don't eat those potatoes! They're not even skinned yet!"

"But I'm hungry," Fred said with his mouth full. "And the skin has vitamins in it that are good for you."

"Don't stop him," Lance said. "His stomach might be the only thing that can save us." 

"Heads up!" Beach Head opened the door. "Got some more help here!" In came Roadblock, Shipwreck and Spirit.

"What did you guys do?" Lance asked incredulously.

"Nothing," Roadblock said. "It's what **you** did that got us here!" 

"What?" Pietro startled. "You're punishing them for what we did? That's not fair!"

"That's the way it works," Beach Head told them. 

"But we did the bad stuff!" Fred protested.

"And they're responsible for you!" Beach Head pointed. "Now move it!" 

"I hope you swabbies are happy," Shipwreck snapped. 

"Now do you understand your actions have consequences?" Spirit asked sternly. 

Lance hung his head down in shame. He couldn't say anything or even look Spirit in the face. 

"But they shouldn't…." Pietro started.

"Quiet!" Beach Head shouted. "Get to work now!" 

"Yes sir," Fred answered in a defeated voice. When he left he spoke again. "Roadblock, Shipwreck…I…"

"Save it!" Roadblock snapped. "We'll talk later." For the rest of the time they peeled the potatoes in silence.

************************************************************************

"MINDBENDER! MINDBENDER!" Cobra Commander screamed as he entered the laboratory. Destro walked behind him, looking annoyed to be there. 

"He's ba-ack," One of Dr. Mindbender's assistants told him softly. 

Dr. Mindbender rolled his eyes. He stepped away from the microscope where he was looking over one of the DNA samples taken from the X-Men. "What is it Cobra Commander?"

"How much progress have you made in creating a mutant army?" Cobra Commander asked.

"Pretty much the same as it was when you asked me that question two hours ago," Mindbender told him. "It's still in the development stages. Of course if someone wouldn't keep barging in here every other hour demanding a progress report maybe we would have made some headway by now!" 

"Don't get smart with me Mindbender!" Cobra Commander snapped. "You've had over a month with these samples and nothing has happened."

"On the contrary," Mindbender contradicted him. "Quite a lot has happened. If you read my report not only have we discovered significant data on the genetic structure of mutants in general; we have managed to isolate the various genes that give each mutant his or her powers and why they are so different. We have also managed to clone some of the stronger strands of DNA successfully. We have even manipulated some of the DNA in order to change the abilities of a mutant to our wishes. In fact, we have now doubled our DNA genebank so that we can have a greater variety of mutants when we finish! So you see Cobra Commander, despite your continuous interference and only giving me limited resources we have made a considerable amount of progress!"

"Details, details," Cobra Commander huffed impatiently. 

"You must admit my dear Cobra Commander the good Doctor has done some impressive work," Destro told him. He was much more patient and cool headed than Cobra Commander, being interested in research himself. "I would like to review your data when you get the chance."

"I would be more than happy to show you it," Mindbender said respectfully. "Maybe if I had a few more assistants instead of the fifteen you gave me." 

"How many assistants do you need?" Cobra Commander snapped. "Why do you need more men on this?"

Immediately a loud scream could be heard. They turned and looked at one of the assistants who was on fire. "All right!" Mindbender shouted as the man was writhing in agony. "Who's been playing around with the exploding Bunsen burners again? I keep telling you people the lab is not a place for fooling around!" 

"I see your point," Cobra Commander said. 

"Sorry about this," Mindbender shrugged as the assistant was put out. "We have a few practical jokers on the staff. You know how crazy scientists are in a lab. Take him to the infirmary! On second thought," He walked over and took out his revolver. He shot the burned man point blank in the head. "Take the body to the DNA extractor and see what you can do with it. It might prove useful. And someone clean up this mess!" 

He went back to Cobra Commander. "Well as you can see sir, this process is going to take some time." 

"How long does it possibly take to create an army of mutants?" Cobra Commander hissed. "I mean you managed to created that buffoon Serpentor in no time flat!" 

"Well that's because I had a psychic motivator implanted in me, remember?" Dr. Mindbender snapped. "Breeding does take time. Even longer than cloning."

"Why don't you just use the synthoids?" Cobra Commander asked. "Implant some mutant DNA into them?" 

"Too unstable," Mindbender sighed. "Besides you remember what happened the **last **time we tried to create an army of synthoids as ground troops." 

"How could we forget?" Destro groaned. "There's still a funny smell in the cafeteria." 

"Yes and I ruined one of my favorite cowls," Cobra Commander grumbled. "Just grab a few troopers and use the DNA on them!"

"You can't just grab a normal human, inject some mutant DNA and presto you get an instant mutant!" Mindbender looked like he was going to explode. "Do you have any idea how few people can survive the process, let alone not end up completely psychotic?" 

"Well most of our troops are already psychotic!" Cobra Commander told him.

"He has a point," Destro agreed. 

"Look Mindbender I don't care how you do it," Cobra Commander said. "I want a crack commando team of mutants by the end of the month or else you will be joining the rest of your specimens in a test tube! Understand?"

"But today is the twelfth!" Mindbender protested.

"Well then you'd better get cracking haven't you?" Cobra Commander said as he stormed out. Destro offered a sympathetic shrug before he left with him. 

"And I thought Serpentor had no patience," Mindbender grumbled. "Some people are so picky! But I have to think of something. I have been experimenting with a new synthoid strain that is supposed to make them more durable. Maybe…of course it's possible that it will blow up in my face. But desperate times call for desperate measures. OKAY PEOPLE LISTEN UP!" He shouted to his assistants. "We will continue the cloning experiments but as of now they are secondary. Only assistants number 5 and 7 will work on them. Numbers 8 and 12 you will work on screening candidates for creating mutants! Numbers 6 and 10, since breeding is your specialty I want you two to work on that aspect. You six are going to be our back up plans in case Operation Mutant Synthoid fails."

"Where are we gonna get subjects?" Number 6 asked. 

"Ask for volunteers," Mindbender snapped. "If nobody shows up, just kidnap them and do it anyway! Be creative! I don't care if you have to grab people off the street to do it! If they happen to be mutants anyway, so much the better! Just get them!" 

"We could try circuses," Number 8 shrugged. "Freak shows. That might work." 

"Fine whatever," Mindbender waved. "Just get them! The rest of you will now put all of your efforts into assisting with the production of a new and better synthoid! A synthoid with mutant powers under Cobra's control!" 


	19. Random Acts of Forgiveness

**Random Acts of Forgiveness**

Lance hovered near Spirit's open door. He was afraid of disturbing him. He had said nothing to him since they had both returned from KP duty. The one thing Lance wanted to do more than anything right then was to cry out and beg him for forgiveness. Of course he couldn't do that. He still had some pride left. But not enough to feel guilty.

Lance had never felt guilt like this before. He felt that he owed Spirit so much for saving his life and taking him in. No one had actually bothered that much about his well being. That's why he felt so loyal to him. He didn't decide to stay with the Joes because of some goody two shoes sense of remorse or phony idea of doing the right thing. It was because Spirit and the other Joes treated him like a person, not a weapon or lowly flunky. 

Of course he did wonder if part of the way he felt was because of the mind control drug. Okay he'd always thought he had a streak of loyalty to those who helped him. That was one of the reasons he stayed loyal to Mystique in the first place. She did get him out of that foster home and away from the mess he created in Illinois when he destroyed his first high school. Then again she never had enough of his loyalty to want him to go down on his knees and beg when she was angry.

Something inside Lance compelled him to want to be with Spirit. He saw him as a substitute father somehow and he wanted to please him. To do whatever it took to make him happy no matter what. At that moment he really didn't care anymore why he felt this way, he just wanted to stop feeling like such a failure. 

Spirit saw him and motioned for the boy to come in. Lance walked in nervously. "I…I'm sorry about what I did," Lance gulped. "I didn't know they'd take it out on you. If I had I'd have never done it. It's one thing if they punish me, but you…"

Spirit said nothing. "Spirit you gotta believe me," Lance pleaded. "You're the last person I'd want to hurt."

"I know," Spirit's tone softened. He placed his hand on his shoulder. 

"I know it's a stupid excuse, but I don't really know why I did it," Lance told him. "Those drones looked so cool and I was curious and well…It got out of hand." 

"So I noticed," Spirit said wryly. 

"It was dangerous and stupid and I'm sorry I got you in trouble," Lance apologized. "I wasn't thinking." 

Spirit nodded. "I accept your apology young one. I see you truly are sorry for your actions. I forgive you." 

"You're not mad at me anymore?" Lance asked.

"I was never angry at you," Spirit told him. "Disappointed yes, but not really angry. It was expected that you would have some problems…adjusting to army life. I was hoping it would be later." 

"Spirit I promise, I…I'll make you proud of me," Lance said. "Nobody's ever been as good to me as you have. I wanna do good by you. Really." 

"Well, let's just say we'll work on it," Spirit nodded. "But you still have to pay for what you've done."

"I know," Lance said. "I won't complain. I promise. Just give me another chance. I'll do better. Really I will." 

"All right, come here," Spirit hugged him. "I'm not going to give up on you. I promise I'll try harder as well." 

Lance fought the tears in his eyes. He pulled away. "I'll make you proud. You'll see." 

"I'll hold you to that. Now go to bed young one," Spirit told him.

"Yes sir," Lance nodded. "Good night." Lance went to his room and got ready for bed. _See! _He mentally crowed to his inner demons. _He does care about me!_

**_He cares about your powers and keeping you under control, _**The cynical voice of experience snarled at him. **_It's just that stupid drug in your system that's making you feel guilty. Face it. You've just traded in one master for another. _**

_I don't care! _Lance snarled inside his mind. _He's nothing like the others! He's not Magneto! _

**_You're right. He's human. _**

So what? I don't care! He's treated me pretty good! That's all that matters! So shut up! I'm not gonna listen to you anymore! Lance closed his eyes and fought off his inner demons for another night. 

************************************************************************

Meanwhile back at the Delgato house Pietro and Fred were sitting in the kitchen getting chewed out by Todd and Wanda. "I can't believe you did something so stupid!" Todd shouted. 

"How were we supposed to know they'd punish Shipwreck and Roadblock?" Pietro snapped. 

"Spirit got punished too," Wanda pointed out. 

"But Low Light and Cover Girl didn't," Fred wondered. "And neither did the Blind Master. I wonder why?"

"Well someone had to watch the other kids," Althea walked into the room. "And would **you** try to punish a ninja master with KP duty?"

"I guess not," Fred sighed. 

"Althea I'm sorry about your dad and…" Pietro started. 

"Please," Althea waved. "This is my father, remember? He could use all the discipline he can get! What I am angry about is how you guys got Roadblock and the others in trouble!" 

"That's partly my fault," Todd sighed. "I should have told you that they sometimes punish the adults too if we get in trouble." 

"Man these guys are strict," Pietro groaned. 

"Maybe it would be better if we did get hit," Fred said.

"No," Shipwreck walked into the room. "Hitting only teaches you how to hit back. And you kids are already a bit too aware of that lesson. The goal here is to teach you control without resorting to violence. Up until now most of you have been fighting or using your powers in order to get what you want or if you can't control your anger. We're trying to break you of that bad habit." 

"Then why are you teaching us fighting techniques?" Wanda asked.

"That's for when you **have** to fight," Shipwreck told her. "We're not stupid. We know there are going to be plenty of times when you need to defend yourselves. But you have to learn when it's appropriate to hit and when **not **too. If you get hit over every little thing you'll never learn the difference." 

"Shipwreck we're really sorry for getting you in trouble," Fred said. "We're really sorry!"

"Yeah," Pietro added. "I mean if we'd known that maybe…"

"Maybe you would have thought twice about fooling around?" Shipwreck said. "Well if I had told you the consequences of doing things like that in the first place maybe I wouldn't have had to be punished as well. I guess I'm not exactly the best example of stability for you kids am I?"

"Tell me something we don't know," Althea groaned. Then she softened. "But you really are a cool dad. Sometimes. At least you know when to take responsibility." 

"You know what I think?" Shipwreck said. "I think tonight we should all go over the rules and the consequences for what happens when you break a rule. Now I promise you will never get hit, but that doesn't mean you are not accountable for your actions. And what you do reflects on not only the adults but the rest of your unit."

"You mean stuff like you can get locked up if you run away?" Pietro asked.

"Or if you use your powers to intentionally hurt someone," Shipwreck added. "Or hit one of the adults. But those are extreme cases. I'm talking the everyday stuff, like fooling around, breaking curfew…"

"What curfew?" Althea asked. "We live on an army base. We never go anywhere."

"But sometimes you do tend to sneak out to see each other at night when you're not supposed to, don't you?" Shipwreck raised an eyebrow.

Todd turned scarlet. "You know about that?" Althea gasped.

"I know everything," Shipwreck waved. "I have parent superpowers."

"What?" Pietro asked. "What did you do?"

"That's not really something that should be discussed right now," Shipwreck said. "But since that was an extreme case I decided not to punish you for that long ago, Althea. But I won't be so lenient next time. Understand?"

Althea nodded, unusually subdued. "Yes sir." 

"Good. I think we should call a family meeting tonight with all the kids and adults. We'll go over the rules and situations and discuss what punishments we can agree on are fair," Shipwreck said. 

"Hey as long as I don't get hit I don't care what I have to do," Todd shrugged. 

"Well most of you are a little old for spanking anyway," Shipwreck smirked. "Of course some of you might like it depending on who's doing the spanking." He smirked at Althea and Todd. 

"DAD!" Althea protested while Todd turned bright red.

"And as I said, we aren't going to hit you either," Shipwreck continued. "I like to think we have more…creative ways of getting the message. Like tomorrow."

"What?" Pietro blinked. "There's more?"

"Oh yes," Shipwreck cackled. "Tomorrow Beach Head is going to be in charge of your training. And if that isn't punishment I don't know what is!" 

"Oh boy," Althea gulped.

"What?" Pietro asked. 

"Let's just say you boys better get some rest for tomorrow," Althea told them. "You're gonna need all the energy you can get!" 

**Next up: Cobra attacks! 'Nuff said? **


	20. The First Battle

**The First Battle**

The next day Roadblock, Spirit and Shipwreck relaxed in the canteen taking a break while the kids were training. "I'm glad Hawk decided that we didn't have to do any more KP duty," Shipwreck sighed. 

"I think that was sufficient enough for the boys to learn their lesson," Spirit said. "Now they understand what they do reflects on us."

"Yeah hopefully they'll think twice before doing anything stupid again," Shipwreck sighed. "So how's life with Blob and Toad?"

"Like feeding two bottomless pits," Roadblock groaned. "Well at least they aren't picky eaters."

"Yeah I hear ya," Shipwreck nodded. "Is Toad still having nightmares?"

"Yeah but they're a lot less frequent now," Roadblock sighed. "Only once or twice a month. That's a huge improvement. What about your kids?" 

"Claudius cried every night for a week after he was captured," Shipwreck sighed. "I think he's starting to forget about it now. Wanda and Pietro are a bit of a mess. They won't admit they are having nightmares but I can tell." 

"How's the kid doing?" Roadblock asked Spirit. 

"He's still having difficulty," Spirit sighed.

"You mean he's still having trouble adjusting to his condition?" Roadblock asked. 

"No **that** he's pretty much accepted," Spirit sighed. 

"Nightmares about his past?" Shipwreck asked. 

"Not exactly," Spirit sighed again. "Close…" 

"Well what is it?" Roadblock asked.

"Let me guess," Shipwreck raised an eyebrow. "It begins with a K and rhymes with pretty?"

"Bingo!" Spirit sighed. "I know I have to be patient with the boy but to be honest with you he's starting to drive me up the wall." 

"Look the kid broke up with the love of his life," Shipwreck said. "That's gotta hurt. Give him time. Remember when Mara left me? You remember that two timing witch? The woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with who ended up wanting to spend the rest of her life with another man? The heartless whore who rejected her own children and made them feel like garbage? Not to mention tearing my heart out of my chest and stomping on it until it was nothing but a puddle on the ground?" He slammed his palm on the table. "Look how long it took me to get over her. I'm fine now."

"Yeah you're much better," Roadblock said dryly. 

Lifeline, Low Light and Beach Head walked in. "I can't believe you did that!" Lifeline snapped. 

"Hey I had to be rough on them!" Beach Head snapped.

"What did he hit one of them?" Shipwreck asked.

"Nope," Low Light shook his head. 

"They're not gonna be able to recover from that for weeks!" Lifeline said.

"You drilled them into the ground?" Roadblock asked.

"No they handled PT pretty well for a bunch of rookies," Beach Head said.

"What did he do?" Shipwreck asked.

"He showed them some training films on the battle drones and what they do in combat," Low Light said. 

"Not the ones that were filmed in actual combat?" Roadblock yelped. "With all the blood and…?"

"Oh yeah," Low Light sighed. "Even Althea lost her lunch looking at them. Except for the Blob. He was the only one who didn't throw up." 

"Did you really have to show them those films?" Lifeline asked.

"Hey it's for their own good!" Beach Head snapped. "If they see what kind of damage those weapons can cause they'll think twice before playing around with them again!" 

"He has a point," Low Light remarked. "They need a lot of discipline!" 

"I hope for God's sake you didn't show them to the triplets!" Shipwreck yelped.

"Are you nuts? Something like that would give them ideas!" Beach Head said. "I did show them to the others as a warning as well. You gotta scare these kids straight!"

"Great," Roadblock groaned. "That's another thing they're going to have nightmares about! Thanks a lot Beach Head!" 

"Where are they now?" Shipwreck asked. 

"Well our three offenders are now cleaning the bathrooms and the others are Recovering with Cover Girl," Lifeline sighed. "We're letting them settle their stomachs in the rec. room." 

"You sent them to work right away after seeing that?" Spirit yelped.

"Well considering most of them made a huge mess in the bathroom yeah," Beach Head said. "Hey, I'm only letting them clean that one large bathroom near the training area with toothbrushes. They're getting off easy in my opinion. If I had my way they'd be doing every bathroom on this base."

"If we had our way you'd get a Section Eight!" Lifeline snapped. 

"We'd better see to them," Roadblock groaned as he got up with Shipwreck and Spirit. "Take notes, never ever let Beach Head near these kids again!" 

************************************************************************

"I can't believe Beach Head made all you kids watch those films!" Cover Girl fumed as she patted Wanda's forehead with a wet cloth. Both girls were sitting on a couch while Cover Girl attended to them. Todd was spawled in a chair nearby. 

"Ohhh," Wanda still looked a little green. "My stomach."

"I am so embarrassed," Althea groaned. "I mean I've seen a little blood in my time, but I was sure I could take that." 

"Well you couldn't," Cover Girl sighed. "Come on kids, don't be too hard on yourselves. It happens to every soldier sooner or later. That film was pretty graphic." 

"That was disgusting," Todd moaned. "I never felt so repulsed in my entire life. It was sickening. Can we see it again?" 

"NO!" The others shouted at him. 

"What is it with guys and gross stuff?" Wanda grumbled.

"I have no idea," Althea moaned. 

"Hey," Todd noticed. "They have a video game! Mortal Kombat 27! Great!" He hopped over and started to play it. 

"It's official," Cover Girl groaned. "You kids are now totally desensitized to violence thanks to Beach Head! Great! Now I'm gonna be sick," She walked to the next room to get some aspirin. 

"I still don't understand what you see in him," Wanda said looking at Todd. "He's a total goofball!" 

"But he's my goofball," Althea told her. "He's so sweet and adorable! And so loving. He just has this… I don't know, intangible quality. I can't explain it."

"What he has is a twelve foot long tongue!" Wanda said. 

"That too," Althea smirked. 

"Oh no, I so do not need that image in my head," Wanda groaned, covering her eyes. "Too late!" 

"And he's got such a cute butt…" Althea continued.

"NO MORE!" Wanda covered her ears. "WAAAAYY TOO MUCH INFORMATION HERE!" 

"Not to mention his other body parts…"

"COVER GIRL I'M GONNA BE SICK AGAIN!" Wanda screamed. 

"I'll help you as soon as I recover," Cover Girl moaned. 

"Well we're back," Lance groaned as he and the others came in. They looked a little haggard. 

"That was fast," Althea remarked. 

"Yeah well Pietro used his speed," Lance sighed. "So it wasn't too bad." 

"Would have been faster if Pietro wasn't so queasy," Fred told them. 

"I still can't believe we saw that film," Pietro grumbled.

"What I can't believe is that Blob not only didn't get sick but he ate half a pizza during it!" Lance said.

Everyone looked at Fred. "Hey!" He defended himself. "I lived on a farm, a circus and a monster truck show. I've seen a lot of accidents okay?" 

"Accidents?" Althea raised an eyebrow.

"Don't ask," Pietro groaned. 

"You know the more I hear about it the more I believe that out of all of us Freddy's the one with the most interesting life," Althea said. "And this is coming from someone who trains with ninjas and flew a spaceship a couple of times." 

"Hey why don't we take our minds off it yo," Todd said. "We can play some video games! Who wants to be beaten to a pulp by me?"

Several people groaned. "Wrong choice of words Toad!" Lance snapped. 

"Sorry," Todd came over. "Why don't we do something else?"

"Who are you to tell us what to do?" Pietro asked. 

"Well I am the leader," Todd smirked.

"You are so not the leader," Lance snapped.

"Yeah I am!" Pietro snapped.

"You are not!" Wanda snapped.

"Are too!" Pietro stuck out his tongue. 

"Are not!" Wanda snapped. 

"Well if anyone should be the leader it's me," Lance said. "I've been watching most of you morons the longest." 

"Oh please," Todd said. 

"Yeah and some brilliant plans you had," Pietro snickered. "Remember the soccer incident? The time you ran off and ditched us to join the X-Geeks?"

"The time we got lost in the woods," Fred said. "And the way we lost all our battles and…Well actually you running off to join the Geek Brigade was the worst." 

"You got that right," Todd said. 

"Am I never to be forgiven for that momentary lapse of insanity?" Lance groaned.

"Not really no," Todd said. 

"I should be leader because I have the most experience," Althea said. 

"At what? Being a nutcase?" Lance snapped.

"Uh oh," Todd gulped as he noticed the look on Althea's face. "You really shouldn't have said that!" 

"Why? She's just a girl. What's she gonna…" Lance realized the words came out of his mouth faster than he thought. 

"PREPARE TO DIE ALVERS!" Althea tackled him. 

"Oh that's gotta hurt," Todd gulped as he watched the carnage.

"OW!" Lance yelped in pain. "OW! OW! OKAY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! NO! STOP! STOP! DON'T HURT ME ANYMORE! I TAKE IT BACK! I TAKE IT BACK!" 

"What's going on in here?" Cover Girl ran in.

"Lance made a stupid remark that Althea wasn't qualified to be our leader," Pietro said.

"Oh," Cover Girl shrugged. "As you were." 

"OKAY!" Lance whimpered as Althea held him down. "OKAY! I GIVE! YOU WIN! YOU'RE THE LEADER! YOU'RE THE LEADER! JUST DON'T HURT ME ANYMORE!" 

"Just don't what?" Althea said twisting his arm a little.

"Please don't hurt me anymore boss," Lance gulped. 

"Okay," Althea let him go. Lance scurried as far away as he could from her. "Anybody else have a problem with that?"

"Not me!" Todd spoke up quickly.

"Nope!" Fred said shaking his head.

"Uh uh," Pietro raised his hands. He looked at Wanda.

"Don't look at me," Wanda held her hands up. "I don't want the job!" 

"Well I guess that settles that question," Cover Girl sighed. "Now if you all…" 

She didn't get to finish because at that moment the alarm sounded. "What's that?" Lance asked. 

"It's the alarm!" Cover Girl said. "Cobra's attacking! Althea get them to the station!"

"All of you!" Althea shouted. "Follow me!" They ran to a section of the base that was deep underground and had several monitors.

"What is this place?" Lance asked. 

"It's one of the fall out shelters," Althea told him. "We have places on this base where us kids and any civilians have to go in case of attack. So the Joes don't have to worry about us when they're fighting."

"But we have powers!" Fred said.

"Yeah we can go out and help!" Pietro said.

"No way!" Todd shouted. "The X-Geeks tried that once and look what happened." 

"What happened?" Wanda asked.

"They screwed up!" Althea snapped. "Do you wanna repeat their mistake? Come on, we can watch the battle on the monitors." She turned them on. They could see Cobra Jets and Joe planes in a vicious dogfight as well as a fierce firefight on the ground. 

"Man it's really fierce out there!" Lance said. "I wish we could get in on the action!"

"We can't!" Todd said. "The X-Geeks did that and Cobra ended up getting their DNA. See! I recognize those canisters! They have these metal mosquitoes that draw your blood!"

"I can't believe they're doing the same plan again!" Althea groaned. 

"Hey! That's Ms. Baron!" Fred pointed to the screen.

"She's called the Baroness," Althea told her.

"Who's chrome dome over there?" Lance pointed to a man in a silver metal mask.

"Destro," Althea told him. "Another maniac. Those two report directly to Cobra Commander." 

"Who's…?" Pietro started to ask when he saw a huge explosion. To their horror they watched helplessly as some Cobra troopers managed to break through the lines and capture several Joes, including Duke and General Hawk.

"Oh no!" Althea went pale. "They've got the general!" 

"We can't let them hurt the Joes," Lance said. "What do we do?"

"We gotta do something!" Wanda agreed. 

"I have an idea," Althea said. "Here's what we'll do!" 

Back outside the firefighting had mostly stopped. "Victory is ours!" Destro laughed. "To think, we were only going to get some simple DNA from some mutants but instead we got a greater prize."

Hawk glared at him. "You may have some of us, Destro but if you think for one minute that you're getting your scaly hands on any of those kids…"

"Look around you General," The Baroness said. "You are our prisoner! Call off your troops! We've won! We…What is that?" 

"HEY COOOOBBRRAAAAA!" Fred stood out in the middle of the field waving his arms. "YOO HOOO! OVER HERE!" 

"COME ON YOU SNAKES! OVER HERE! THIS WAY!" Lance shouted, standing next to him.

"NICE MUTANT DNA RIGHT HERE!" Fred waved and turned around, wiggling his butt. "COME ON! EVEN YOU GUYS CAN HIT THIS TARGET!" 

"What are they doing?" Duke wondered aloud. 

"I don't know," Hawk blinked. 

"Well how nice of them to oblige us," Destro snickered. "Release the DNA extractors! We can capture them after we capture their DNA!" 

The devices shot out of the canisters towards them. "NOW!" Lance cried using his powers to create a huge wall of earth. It blocked the machine's way so they could not get to the mutants. "NOW WANDA!" Wanda used her powers to make the 'bugs' short circuit. They exploded, crashing into one another.

"Looks like your metal mosquitoes are broken," Althea called out as she emerged from her hiding place with the other mutants. 

"Aw they're all gone?" Fred said. "Now what do we play with?"

"How about them?" Lance pointed to the Cobras. An evil grin showed up on every mutant's face. 

"Don't even think about it!" The Baroness shouted. "Look over there! We have your friends the Joes under…guard?" To her shock the Cobra soldiers who were holding weapons on the other Joes suddenly lost theirs due to a huge gust. Now the Joes had the guns and were pointing them at the Cobra soldiers. 

"I love the old switcheroo!" Pietro cackled as he skidded to a halt. 

"Stop!" The Baroness held a gun to Hawk's head. "If you don't want to see your general…AAAAHH!" The revolver exploded in her hand, thanks to a well-aimed hexbolt. 

"You were saying?" Lance grinned an evil grin. Then he sent a tremor towards her.

"This is not good," Destro gulped. 

"I think we must be going now," The Baroness agreed. "AAAAAHHH!" She fell backwards and nearly fell into a huge hole in the ground. Only Destro was fast enough to grab her in time. 

"Oh don't go," Todd smiled. 

"Yeah the party's just getting started!" Lance cackled as he sent a tremor towards several Cobra soldiers. 

"GET 'EM!" Althea shouted kicking one soldier in the chin. "YO JOE!" 

Soon the Cobras were running for their lives. Wanda took out a few Cobra Jets with her hexbolts. Fred was smashing several HISS Tanks with his bare hands, having the time of his life. Todd slimed several troopers and kicked several of them. Lance used his powers to sink several tanks into the earth as well as shooting a tidal wave of earth towards some soldiers. Pietro ran everywhere, punching out Cobra troopers, yanking some of their pants down and generally causing some mayhem. One trooper made the mistake of aiming a portable water cannon at Althea. She simply used her powers to wash him and several others away.

By now most of the Joes had stopped fighting. "You think we should help them?" Stalker asked as he watched.

"Nah," Roadblock smiled. "They'll be okay! Let's let the kids play!" 

"It is mighty entertaining I must admit," Dusty laughed. 

"I'm glad they're on our side," Scarlet said. 

"RETREAT!" The Baroness screamed. "COBRA RETREAT! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!" Soon most of the Cobras escaped. There were a few that were prisoners. The kids had trapped them either in holes or tied up with their own guns. 

A rousing cheer went up from everyone. "Pretty good teamwork you guys!" Duke said.

"We did it!" Fred crowed. "We actually beat somebody!" 

"We're sorry we disobeyed orders General," Althea said. "But we couldn't let you guys get hurt."

"Yeah you guys have been pretty good to us," Lance said. 

"Besides your way didn't work," Pietro said. 

"We had to do something!" Wanda said. 

"Please don't be mad," Todd asked.

"I'm not mad," Hawk smiled. "Considering the circumstances I think we can over-look this. In fact, as of now consider all of your probation over."

"No more KP duty and extra training?" Pietro asked. "All right!" The kids cheered. 

"See I told you I was the perfect leader," Althea crowed.

"What are you talking about?" Lance asked. "Did you see how I made them run?"

"It wasn't just you ya know!" Fred snapped. 

"Did you see the look on the Baroness's face when I nearly caused her to fall into the hole?" Lance said. "And how shocked they were when I put up that earth wall?" 

"It was my plan moron!" Althea snapped.

"Who are you calling a moron?" Wanda snapped. "You like Toad for crying out loud! That proves your judgement is questionable!"

"Hey!" Todd snapped. "It just means she has good taste! More than you!"

"What?" Wanda and Pietro yelped.

"Don't you say that about my sister!" Pietro shouted. 

"Hey I can fight my own battles!" Wanda told him. "I don't need your help!"

"Do too!" Pietro huffed.

"Do not!" Wanda got into his face.

"Well I said I was the leader and that's that!" Althea snapped. "You want me to prove it again?"

"You just got lucky," Lance sniffed. 

"Oh yeah!" Althea tackled him. 

"Don't shove me!" Pietro snapped at Wanda.

"Make me!" Wanda shoved back.

"You asked for it!" Pietro tackled her. 

"Stop it you two!" Fred tried to separate Pietro and Wanda.

"Who asked you to butt in?" They ganged up on Fred.

"Don't you hurt my girl yo!" Todd shouted at Lance as Althea wailed on him. "Hey babe, let me get in a few good licks!" He jumped on the pile. 

Soon all of them were shouting and arguing. The next thing the Joes knew, they were all fighting each other. They stood there in shock as the kids rolled around on the ground, brawling. 

"They're gonna get KP duty for this aren't they?" Roadblock sighed.

"Oh yeah," Hawk groaned. 

"So much for teamwork," Duke sighed. 

"One step forward," Spirit sighed. "Two miles backward." 


	21. Cobra Coup

**Cobra Coup**

"Just what I wanted the first thing in the morning," The Baroness grumbled as they entered Cobra Commander's meeting room. "A meeting with that cowled cuckoo that's in charge of Cobra. Probably going to try and humiliate us just before breakfast. It seems to be the only thing that gives him a good appetite."

"The debacle yesterday was not your fault Baroness," Destro said.

"No but that won't stop him from blaming me anyway!" She fumed. "Ever since the disaster at Bayville High he's done nothing but take every opportunity to drag me down. One of these days he's the one that's going to be dragged down!"

"I heartily agree with you my love," Destro nodded. "But remember, we need him. For now."

"Remind me why again?"

"For one thing, he's the one paying our salaries," Destro said. 

"That's a good reason." 

They entered the meeting room. Seated at the head of the table was Cobra Commander with Zartan at his left. Also in attendance were Dr. Mindbender and the Crimson Guard twins Xamot and Tomax. "Well it seems once again GI Joe has defeated us," Cobra Commander said sarcastically. "Surprise, surprise." 

"Well it wasn't my idea to use the same tactic twice," Destro said. "That was your suggestion if I recall." 

"Yes well we needed those mutant DNA samples!" Mindbender said. "True, we have an ample supply but my research needs…" 

"Mindbender I am aware of your plans and I am most pleased at your resourcefulness," Cobra Commander interrupted. "Having several back up plans is a good idea. But I want you to continue on the main objective of having a mutant synthoid army ready for me. Therefore I am extending your time period to say, the end of next month." 

"Y-Yes Cobra Commander," Mindbender said, grateful for the sudden change of mood. "Thank you sir! I will get back to work right away!" He got up to leave. 

"Oh Mindbender," Cobra Commander said. "One more thing. I don't care what you do to the human subjects, but if you manage to capture any mutant subjects at all I want to be immediately notified before you do anything to them. Is that clear?"

"Of course," Mindbender asked. "May I ask why?"

"You may not," Cobra Commander snapped. "But if you must know I have developed a new interest in mutations. I'd like to personally oversee our 'new recruits' so that I can have a better understanding of them. I consider a hands on approach to be more...educational." 

"As you wish Cobra Commander," Mindbender bowed. "We haven't found any suitable subjects yet, but as soon as we do I promise you that you will be the first to know!" 

"Excellent," Cobra Commander waved. "You are dismissed."

"That's odd," The Baroness whispered to Destro. 

"Yes," Destro agreed. "Cobra Commander is more interested in results rather than experiments. This new interest in mutants is very perplexing."

"Do you have something to say Destro?" Cobra Commander asked sharply.

"Only that I find it interesting that you have decided to broaden your horizons my dear Cobra Commander," Destro remarked. 

"Yes well one must grow or stagnate," Cobra Commander said. "Zartan's Dreadnoks are a perfect example."

"For once I agree," Destro chuckled enjoying the agitated look on Zartan's face. 

"Destro I'd like for you to personally oversee our weapons project overseas," Cobra Commander said. "As for you Baroness I would like you to take charge of Project Entwhistle." 

"Project Entwhistle?" The Baroness gasped. "But that's merely a simple intelligence operation. No offense Commander but I think my talents can be put to better use than finding out the government's new and exciting ideas for making gasoline out of vegetables!"

"Considering the way you bungled your last operation you are lucky to be in charge of anything at all!" Cobra Commander hissed.

"That wasn't my fault!" Baroness snapped. "And I'm the one that got you those mutant DNA samples from the X-Men! Remember?"

"Yes which is why your head is still attached to your shoulders!" Cobra Commander pounded his fist on the table. "Now stop whining like a bored school girl and go!"

"As you wish," Destro held the Baroness back. 

"If I need you for anything I'll send for you," Cobra Commander dismissed them. When they left he turned to the other members of Cobra's High Command. "Xamot, Tomax. You continue normal operations. If I need anything I'll let you know. You may go." 

They looked at each other. "With all due respect Cobra Commander…" Xamot said.

"Who will help run things here at the main base…" Tomax continued.

"Now that Destro and the Baroness have been moved?" They both finished.

"I'm glad you asked that," Cobra Commander said. "I have decided to put Zartan in charge." 

"Zartan!" Both twins gasped.

"But he's…" Tomax said.

"A mercenary!" Xamot finished. 

"He's been a loyal Cobra operative for years," Cobra Commander said.

"Oh really?" Xamot raised an eyebrow.

"What about the time he stole a component from the weather dominator machine?" Tomax asked. 

"And held it for ransom?" Xamot asked.

"I'd only just joined Cobra then," Zartan said.

"Then what about the time…" Tomax started.

"You blackmailed all of us into giving you a pay raise?" Xamot finished. 

"Well that was a long time ago," Cobra Commander waved his hand. 

"That was last week!" They both shouted.

"Look who's in charge of Cobra? You or me? I think I know what I'm doing," Cobra Commander snapped. 

"That'll be a change," Xamot muttered under his breath.

"I heard that!" Cobra Commander snapped. "Now go. Not out that door! Out the back!" 

"Why?" Xamot asked as they got up. 

"Because I said so!" Cobra Commander snapped.

"He's in one of his moods again," Xamot muttered to his brother under his breath.

"Just do what he says and go along with it," Tomax shook his head. They left out the other door. 

"That was close," Zartan sighed. "Destro and the Baroness are a dangerous combination. It was wise to separate them." 

Cobra Commander nodded. "From what you told me it seemed like the logical thing to do." 

"ALL RIGHT! WHO'S THE MORON WHO FORGOT TO TELL ME WE ARE HAVING A MEETING TODAY?" Another Cobra Commander walked in the first door. "WHAT THE…." He stared at the other Cobra Commander. 

"Right on time," Zartan smiled. 

"What's going on here?" Cobra Commander yelped. 

"Nothing much," Zartan said going up to him. "You're being replaced."

"Replaced?" Cobra Commander snarled. 

"Bingo," The First Cobra Commander morphed back into Mystique. She knocked him out with one swift kick.

A secret passage opened. Zarana, Torch, Buzzer and Ripper came out. "Cor," Ripper looked at Cobra Commander. "Looks like you did a good job on old Snake Breath!" 

"Take him away," Mystique ordered. "Put him somewhere where he won't cause any trouble!"

"Don't worry," Zarana said. "We have a nice cell all ready for him back at the compound!" They took him through the secret passage. 

"The final step," Zartan grinned, his eyes shining. "Cobra is ours." 

****


	22. You Are Not a Ninja

**Next up: Fluff, fluff, and more fluff! And silliness abounds. That's just the way this story's going so far. Enjoy the ride! **

**You Are Not A Ninja**

Two days passed since the battle. Lance was starting to feel like he had been in the army all his life. Especially when it came to KP duty. "I swear I miss the days when Boom Boom used to blow up all the dishes," He sighed as they left the kitchen. 

"Well at least we only have a few more days to go," Todd said. "It's not so bad."

"Yeah at least we get to eat!" Fred nodded. "I love all the stuff BA cooks!"

"You would," Althea said. "BA loves you ya know. You're the only person who's actually willing to try those horrible concoctions he makes!" 

"Come on guys let's get the lead out!" Todd said. "I can't wait to go to ninja school!"

"It's not ninja school it's training," Lance said as they headed for the changing rooms. "We just learn martial arts." The boys and girls separated into the different changing rooms and started to change into their training clothes. 

"Well maybe you just do," Todd said. "But as a ninja I take every class seriously!" 

"Toad you're not a ninja," Lance said. 

"Yes I am!" 

"No you're not."

"Yes I am!"

"No you are not!" 

"I am too a ninja!" Todd protested hotly. "Well a ninja in training…but still a ninja!" 

"Toad," Lance smirked. "What you are is a deluded little frog boy who is lost in his own world of make believe."

Todd's eyes grew strangely cold. "You have insulted my honor," He said in a strange voice. "You will soon feel the wrath of the ninja. You have been warned."

"Please," Lance waved as he turned away from him. 

"Beware Lance!"

"Ooh! I'm shaking," Lance mocked. "What are you doing Pietro?" 

"He's painting the ceiling again," Fred sighed. "You know one of these days they are gonna catch you. All they have to do is look up."

"They'll never know it was me," Pietro climbed back down from the top of the lockers. 

"Oh I think they'll be able to figure it out," Lance groaned as he looked at the huge self-portrait of Pietro on the ceiling. "Some people I live with, a narcissistic nutcase and a ninja wanna be." 

"I am a ninja!" Todd said hotly. "Spirit tell him I'm a ninja!" 

"You still have a long way to go on the path to perfection," Spirit told him as he walked in. 

"See!" Lance said.

"Yeah but I'm on the path so there!" Todd said. He left in a huff. 

"Oh brother," Lance groaned.

"I'd be careful if I were you," Spirit told him. "Toad takes his training very seriously."

"Come on," Lance smirked. "This is Toad we're talking about. Trust me, I've known the little loon for a long time now. Nothing's going to happen." 

"Hmmm," Spirit mused. "Come now, its time for your lesson." 

Soon they were all practicing their fighting moves. Todd was still having trouble with his blindfold exercises. He was sparring with the Blind Master. "Ow!" Todd grumbled as he got hit for the third time.

"Hey Ninja Toad!" Lance laughed. "Having a bit of trouble?" 

"Shut up Lance!" Todd said angrily. "At least I'm not a beginner like you are!"

"Beginner?" Lance said. "You've only been doing martial arts for half a year!"

"Yes but he has progressed very rapidly," The Blind Master said. "He has a natural talent for martial arts. Unlike yourself he actually pays attention to his lessons." He thwacked Todd lightly on the head with his Bo staff. "Well most of the time." 

"I don't know if I can do this," Todd grumbled.

"You have to practice," The Blind Master told him. "You must learn to see by using your other senses. It will come in handy for you in the future."

"Yeah if Toad doesn't want to fall over the couch in the dark," Lance snickered.

"All right that's enough," The Blind Master told him. "Take a break everyone." 

Spirit walked in. "How are they doing?" 

"Getting better," The Blind Master said. "Slowly but surely." 

"I'd like to speak to them if I may," Spirit asked. 

"Of course," He nodded. He motioned for all of the students to gather around.

"What's up Spirit?" Pietro asked. 

"I wish to make an announcement," He told them. "First I am pleased to see how your training is progressing. In a week or two all of you will be going off to train more at a remote location. While you are gone Shipwreck's house will be renovated so that it will be large enough to house not only you but any possible new recruits."

"New recruits?" Lance asked.

"General Hawk has convinced certain people that this is a feasible program to train mutants to use their powers for the good of the country," Spirit explained. "If it works, they will allow us to train others like you. It can be a great help to all mutants if there is a government sponsored program like this. Otherwise…"

"It's off to the lab," Lance finished with a growl. "Yeah we got ya. So we gotta be on good behavior."

"I know it will not be easy," Spirit said. "That is why I have faith in you. You must train hard."

"No sweat," Pietro waved. "We can do this. No problem." 

"However," Spirit told them. "There will also be tests. Think of them as kind of like a pop quiz. Expect the unexpected. You may find yourselves practicing against each other sooner than you think, so be prepared." 

"Well there's a happy bit of news," Lance sighed. "So what? We're a delinquent version of the X-Geeks?"

"More like a reform school," Fred grumbled.

"Hey!" Todd spoke up. "This ain't so bad! You rather somebody else be in charge of us?"

"He's got a point," Wanda sighed. 

"It will not be easy," Spirit told them. "But I have faith in all of you. I know you can prove yourselves when the time comes." 

They trained for a while longer before they cleaned up and changed. "Can you believe this?" Pietro groaned as they walked out of the locker room. "Now we gotta act like goody goody X-Nerds!" 

"Come on," Lance said. "Let's go to class. I wonder who's going to be our teacher today?" 

A few minutes later they found out. "Okay!" Bazooka waved to them. "I am Mr. Bazooka and I am going to be your teacher today!"

"Our former janitor?" Pietro asked. "Talk about your promotions." 

"More like the blind leading the blind," Althea groaned.

"You mean the stupid leading the stupid," Wanda whispered in her ear. 

"Okay today we are going to learn about other countries," Bazooka said cheerfully. "Anybody know anything about them?"

"Oh brother," Althea put her head into her hands. 

"I know some of them are in Europe," Todd said. 

"Well there's a vital piece of information," Althea said. 

"I have a question!" Fred raised his hand. "Where did they get a name like Europe anyway?" 

"Gee I dunno?" Bazooka scratched his head. 

"I know!" Lance said. "It's from an old Greek story."

"Wow really?" Bazooka said. "Tell us!" 

"This I gotta hear," Pietro said.

"Shhhh!" Todd shushed him. "I wanna hear this."

"You see there was this God called Zeus," Lance told them. "He was the king of all the gods and quite a hit with the ladies. Well one day he sees this babe walking along and he gets to liking her. Her name was Europa. He wanted to get in good with her so he turned himself into a bull so he could meet her." 

"Why would he do that?" Todd asked. 

"I dunno I guess she was into farm animals or something," Lance shrugged.

"Oh yeah I've seen that before," Fred said. "It happens more often than you think." 

"Anyway to make a long story short she becomes his girlfriend," Lance said. "Well he decides to give her a huge chunk of land you know to make her happy. So he called it Europa after her to show her that it was hers. Centuries later they changed it to Europe. End of story."

"Wow," Bazooka said. "I did not know that."

"You're a regular encyclopedia Lance," Pietro quipped.

"We gotta get some regular teachers in here," Althea groaned. 

************************************************************************

Later on in the day the boys found themselves at Shipwreck's house. "What are we doing here?" Lance asked. 

"I am taking the girls for their first driving lesson," Shipwreck said.

"Can we come?" Pietro asked.

"No!" Shipwreck told him. "My nerves can only handle the girls for today."

"Speaking of girls where are the little maniacs?" Todd looked around.

"Relax kid," Shipwreck picked up Claudius from his playpen. "Cover Girl's giving them some kind of lesson. Either art or how to fix a tank engine, I forget which. That leaves you boys with only one thing to worry about." He handed Claudius to Lance. 

"What?" Lance blinked. "But I…"

"No butts boys!" Shipwreck said. "Think of this as part of your training."

"You mean part of your scheme to get more babysitters," Althea said as she and Wanda came downstairs. 

"That too," Shipwreck said. "Come on girls. Let's leave the boys alone." They took off in a hurry.

"Great," Lance sighed as he looked at Claudius. "Diaper duty." 

"Don't worry about it," Todd said. "I've done this before. It's not so hard." 

"Yeah well I've been watching all you morons for ages so how hard can it be to take care of a little kid?" Lance said. "Isn't that right, Little C?"

At this Claudius responded by bawling his eyes out. "WHAT DID YOU DO?" Pietro shouted.

"I didn't do anything!" Lance said in a panicked voice. "I swear!" 

"You broke him!" Fred shouted. 

"No you're holding him wrong genius!" Todd snapped as he took Claudius away from Lance. "Let me have him. That's right. It's okay. It's okay. There," Claudius settled down. "He doesn't know you yet. Plus you have to hold him close to your body so he doesn't get scared. It makes him feel safe and warm. You have to pat his back lightly and rock him a little. He loves that. See?" 

"Wow Toad you're really good with him," Fred marveled. 

"Yeah," Todd said. "Come on Little C, it's time that you got changed."

"So that's what that smell is," Pietro held his nose. "I thought it was you at first."

"Very funny," Todd said dryly. "I'll go change him. You three brain scientists stay here. I'll take care of this on my own." Todd went upstairs.

"Hey," Fred realized something. "We're on our own in the house with no adults."

"Sweet!" Pietro rubbed his hands together. 

"Oh no," Lance groaned. "We're not going to trash Shipwreck's house!"

"Don't worry," Pietro told him. "We're not going to do anything but relax a little."

"Every time you say that an explosion happens," Lance folded his arms.

"Relax," Pietro said, zipping over to the fridge. "We're just gonna get some snacks and watch some TV. Hey it's our prerogative as baby sitters!" 

"It's also traditional to eat snacks and chill out in front of the TV," Fred helped himself to some chips. "Well who are we to buck with tradition?" 

"Why not?" Lance sighed. He grabbed some food and they all sat down in front of the TV. "What's on?" 

"Infomercial, soap opera, infomercial…" Pietro flicked the channels at hyperspeed. "Spanish soap opera, game show with old people dressed in gaudy outfits, trashy talk show, trashy talk show…" 

"Pietro remember the rule about changing the channels!" Lance snapped. "Do it at a speed we all can see!" 

"Oh well then you take it!" Pietro gave him the remote. 

"There's nothing good on," Lance grumbled.

"Yeah there's nothing interesting to see," Fred munched on some potato chips.

"I think you spoke too soon Freddy," Pietro pointed behind him. 

They looked over and they saw a strange sight. Claudius was scuffling along the floor, wearing a tiny little ninja suit. He was masked, only his eyes were visible. Even his flippers were covered. "That's right Little C!" Todd said, scuttling behind him. "Keep going!"

"Toad what are you doing?" Lance moaned.

"Teaching Little C ninja stuff," Todd said. "You gotta teach them when they're young!" 

"Toad I keep telling you that you are not a real ninja!" Lance groaned. 

"I am too a ninja!" Todd snapped. "Why won't you believe me?"

"Do you want the short list or the long?" Pietro asked. 

"Hey guys!" Fred called out. "Look who's on TV!" 

"That's Kelly!" Lance blinked. "What's he doing?"

"He's running for the Senate," Pietro said. "I heard about it earlier. Three guesses what his platform is? He's pushing some Mutant Registration Bill." 

"Gonna force all mutants to reveal themselves to the government!" Fred gasped. "They can't do that? Can they?"

"Well I guess we all know where we'll be getting our new recruits," Pietro said bitterly.

"Shut up Pietro!" Lance said hotly. "You can't believe that Hawk supports this garbage!"

"Yeah he ain't the type," Todd told him. 

"Don't be so sure," Pietro growled.

"No," Lance shook his head. "I don't believe Hawk and the other Joes would support something like this. They could have just dumped all of us onto the government labs but they didn't!"

"Maybe this is his way of preparing if they do something like this?" Fred said. "So mutants will have a place to go or something."

"Of course they will!" Pietro snapped. "Face it, the army's gonna grab every mutant they can get in order to get their powers!" 

"Maybe some people will," Todd said. "But I know General Hawk. He'd never allow that."

"I'm not so sure," Pietro grumbled. 

"What tat?" Claudius pointed to the television.

"That's a moron Little C," Todd picked him up and looked at the image of Kelly on the screen. "Can you say that?"

"Mo-won," Claudius giggled.

"Very good," Todd beamed. "You are so smart!" He tickled Claudius. "Yes you are!"

"He is a cute little guy isn't he?" Fred grinned. "Who could hate a little guy like that? If anything happens to him…I mean he's so little. Magneto was bad enough."

"He's just a baby," Pietro looked sad. "He doesn't understand stuff like this. He shouldn't have to."

"Will you guys quit acting like you're at a funeral or something?" Todd snapped. "It ain't gonna happen. I remember a couple of days ago they were teaching us about that Homeland Security Act they tried to pass after 9-1-1? They couldn't even get that passed cause too many people complained about civil liberties and stuff. So relax!" 

"Some reason Toad I don't share your optimism," Pietro grumbled. 

"I wouldn't have it if it wasn't for the Joes," Todd said. "If I didn't ever meet 'em I'd…I dunno. Be a terrorist or something and try to assassinate guys like Kelly. I dunno." 

"I don't wanna talk about this any more!" Fred grabbed the remote and shut off the TV. "I'm too depressed and I feel really uncomfortable." 

"Well that's no reason to shut off the TV!" Pietro snapped. "Just change the channel dummy!" He threw some popcorn at him. 

"Don't call me a dummy, Dummy!" Fred threw some chips at him. 

"Don't throw stuff all over the place yo!" Todd shouted. He thwacked Fred with a pillow. "You're supposed to be setting an example for the baby!"

At this both Fred and Pietro hit him with pillows. "All right now this is war!" Todd growled. "CHARGE!" 

Soon all the boys were engaged in a raucous pillow fight. Feathers were flying all over the place. Claudius had a ball running around in the feathers. "Take this!" Todd thumped Lance in the back of the head with a pillow. "Admit I am a ninja!"

"No way!" Lance threw a pillow at him. Todd dodged it. It hit someone else. Lance cringed when he saw the angry face of Low Light staring at him. 

"What is going on here?" Low Light shouted. Lifeline was with him. 

"Uh…" Todd gulped. "Would you believe we were having a debate?"

"The way you guys do it yes," Low Light growled. "I can't believe you guys are acting this immature! What are…" Immediately he was hit on the head with a pillow. "LIFELINE!"

"Technically pillow fighting isn't considered violence," Lifeline grinned. 

"It is if you do it right!" Low Light grabbed a pillow. 

"Gotta catch me first!" Lifeline laughed as he grabbed a pillow and started to run away.

"GET HIM!" Low Light ordered. Soon the pillow melee began again. It continued until dinnertime. Shipwreck came back from the driving lesson claiming he was scarred for life. The kids ate dinner together and cleaned up. Soon it was time to go back to their homes. 

Lance got ready for bed, but he still felt he could not sleep. He needed to talk to Spirit. "Spirit I gotta ask you," Lance said hesitantly. "Are the Joes in on this Mutant Registration thing? I need to know."

"No," Spirit said. "But there are a lot of figures in the army who are. Hawk's preparing for the worst, although I hope it never has to be. At the very least this program may be some refuge. There are a lot worse things that could happen to mutants if this bill passes."

"I don't want to think about that," Lance sighed.

"Do not give up hope young one," Spirit put his hand on his shoulder. "There is light as well as darkness. There are those in Congress and the Senate who are against this bill. Many figures in the military do not wish to see this come about as well."

"Why?" Lance asked. "I mean aren't mutants seen as some kind of source for weapons or something?"

"True," Spirit told him. "But many of us believe in protecting America and all that it stands for. Not just freedom for a certain group of people. We do not want to repeat the mistakes of the past. It would be much more beneficial in the long run if mutants chose to enlist of their own free will. You remember learning about the draft for Vietnam and how violently the country reacted? Well many of our generals are smart enough to see that if that happens for mutants the effects will be ten times worse. Not every soldier or military figure sees mutants as a threat. Some of us do see mutants as people. Granted not as many as there should be, but this program is a chance to change that." 

"How?" Lance asked. 

"By showing that mutants and humans are willing to work together for a common goal," Spirit told him. 

"Well some of you anyway," Lance sighed.

"I understand that it's hard to comprehend," Spirit said. "That is why you are here. To show you by our actions that we humans are not your enemy. We don't have to be."

"You know you guys are the first people to ever reach out like this to us," Lance sighed. "I guess that alone is worth it to see where this goes."

"Good," Spirit patted him on the back. "Now go to sleep young one. You have a lot of work to do in the morning."

"Yes sir," Lance nodded. He went into his room. Lance sighed as he went to bed. It had been a long day. He flopped on his bed and rolled over on his back. 

That's when he saw Todd dressed all in black hanging from the ceiling. "Beware the wrath of the ninja!" He said before he dropped on him. "BANZAI!" 


	23. The Wrath of Ninja Toad

**The Wrath of Ninja Toad**

"BANZAI!" Todd screamed as he sailed down on top of Lance. He landed on him with a whump. 

"Toad get off me you little maniac!" Lance shouted. 

"Now feel the true terror of Ninja Toad!" Todd whooped. "Behold the deadliest of all martial arts! The Tickle of Death!" 

That was when Todd mercilessly started to tickle him. "TOAD!" Lance half-screamed and half-laughed. "You…ha…lunatic! Cut it out!" He tried to fight back.

"And now foolish mortal!" Todd called out. "Here is your…Hey! Wait a minute! Don't do that!" They were both rolling around on the bed wrestling. "The ninja reigns supreme! OW! It is useless to resist…OW! I TOLD YOU IT IS USLESS TO RESIST SO KNOCK IT OFF WILL YA?" 

"GET OFF ME TOAD! HAHAHA! I MEAN IT!"

"ADMIT MY SUPERIORITY!"

"NO…HA! STOP IT! HA! HA!"

"SAY IT!"

"NO WAY!" 

"YOU WILL ADMIT THAT I AM NINJA TOAD! WHOA!"

"YOU ARE A TOTAL NUTCASE! THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE! NO! NO!"

"What is going on…?" Spirit rushed in and looked at the scene. "In here?" 

"I am administering Ninja Justice!" Todd shouted. "Or at least I would have if someone didn't keep fighting back!"

"Spirit," Lance gasped as they rolled around. "Get him off me! Get him off me!" 

"Just admit to my superior ninja skills!" Todd shouted.

"Never!" Lance fought back. "Take this!"

To his surprise Todd grabbed him in a sleeper hold. "LET GO OF ME!" Lance shouted. 

"What in the world…?" Roadblock walked in. 

"Roadblock will you get this nutcase off of me?" Lance shouted. "He thinks he's some freaking ninja! Ow!" The next thing Lance knew he was on his stomach. Todd held both of his arms behind him and was sitting on his back. "Tell him to let go! Tell him…" 

He was interrupted by a strange sound. He turned his head and saw both Spirit and Roadblock laughing hysterically. "This isn't funny!" Lance snapped. 

"The heck it isn't," Roadblock was now laughing so hard, tears were falling down his face. "Well you can't say we didn't warn you!" 

"I told you he took his training seriously," Spirit slapped his knees. 

"Just get him off me!" Lance shouted. "Or do I have to bring down the house?"

"All right Toad," Roadblock giggled. "You can let him go. I think he's learned his lesson." 

"Okay," Todd did so. "Still think I'm delusional?" He put his hands on his hips with pride. 

"No I think you're dead," Lance threatened him with his fist. Todd instinctively yelped as backed off.

"Calm down Lance," Spirit said.

"Calm down? The little nutcase here attacked me!" 

"I only tickled you ya weenie," Todd made a face. 

"Why did you tickle him?" Roadblock asked. 

"Well since we're not allowed to hit each other," Todd scratched his head. "I improvised." 

"Fine I'm gonna improvise on your face!" Lance snarled. 

"No you are not," Roadblock stepped in front of him. "Okay Toad, you proved your point."

"Now do you believe I am a ninja?" Todd said.

"What I believe you are is a lunatic!" Lance snapped. 

"All right," Roadblock said. "You've had your fun. No harm was done. Let's go kid."

"I hope you get KP duty for life!" Lance shouted after him.

"Calm down," Spirit told him. "He didn't mean any harm."

"He attacked me!" 

"He didn't exactly hurt you," Spirit pointed out. "Except in your pride." 

"Well he still shouldn't be attacking people!" Lance snapped. "He should be punished! Punish him! I want vengeance!" 

"Well then how about you sneak up on him and tackle him?" Spirit asked with a raised eyebrow. 

"What kind of talk is that? What…wait a minute…" He looked at Spirit. "You knew he was gonna do it didn't you?" 

"Well yes and no," Spirit said. "I thought he was going to ambush you tomorrow on the training ground." 

"But…" Lance blinked.

"Remember those tests I mentioned?" Spirit said. "Expect the unexpected? That's also part of your training in martial arts." 

"So our tests are to attack each other?" Lance blinked. 

"More like surprise each other," Spirit said. "Now let's see if you can do it to him." 

"You people are nuts," Lance blinked. "First you tell us not to hit each other then you tell us to attack and beat each other up."

"No," Spirit said. "The test is to surprise. No serious fighting. Wrestling is permitted but no powers or anything serious. I'm sure you can handle that."

He winked and left the room. Lance sat back on the bed. _What kind of tests are these? First they tell us to get along then they want us to attack each other. And not to hurt each other? _

That's when it hit him. "These people are nuts," He blinked. "These people are freaking nuts." 


	24. Agony and Fear

**Agony and Fear**

It was past midnight when Althea heard the noise. She turned on the light next to her bed and saw Wanda tossing and turning in her sleep. Immediately Althea got up and went to her bedside. "Wanda! Wanda wake up!" She shook her. 

Wanda sat up with a gasp, shaking. "Are you okay?" Althea asked.

"I'm fine," Wanda shivered. 

"You're not fine," Althea said. "You want me to get Cover Girl or my dad?" 

Wanda shook her head. "Look I'm sorry I woke you up okay? I'll just sit a minute…" 

"Come on," Althea sat on the bed. "Just put your head on my shoulder. It'll help calm you down."

"What? No way!"

"Relax. I do this with my little sisters all the time," Althea scrunched next to her. "When my mom first left us they really had a hard time with it at night. During the day they pretended they were all right. But at night…" She sighed. "I kind of have to be the mom sometimes."

"I guess that's pretty tough," Wanda muttered as she curled up next to her. 

"It's not that bad," Althea shrugged. "Come on, it's gonna be okay. It's okay." 

Wanda settled down. "I'm sorry," She sighed. "I just…It was about the hospital. I don't want to talk about it." 

"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to," Althea said. "But if you ever wanna…you know?"

"Yeah I know," Wanda sighed. "They didn't…touch me if you know what I mean. But I was always afraid they would. I was terrified that if I let my guard down for even a moment…The looks on some of their faces…"

"Shhhh," Althea stroked her hair. "It's over now. They can't hurt you here. I won't let them." 

"You won't?"

"No." 

"Can I ask you something?"

"Okay." 

"Were you ever captured? By Cobra?" Wanda asked.

Althea paused. "Once," She said softly. "Just before my water powers emerged. I try not to think about it. I wasn't really hurt or anything but let's just say there are a lot of unpleasant memories." 

"Oh," Wanda said. "I'm sorry I got you up and everything." 

"Forget about it. I don't mind. Like I said, I do this with my little sisters a lot. You know you're kind of like my sister now too," Althea said. 

"Never thought of it like that," Wanda sighed. "Do me a favor? Don't ever tell Toad we did this! I think it might give him ideas." 

"Trust me," Althea said. "I don't intend to. Go to sleep now." They stayed like that all through the night. 

************************************************************************

Wanda wasn't the only one suffering from nightmares in the house. Pietro woke up to the sound of whimpers. He looked over to the side and saw Low Light twitching in his cot. It was decided that Low Light should share the basement room with Pietro for now since he seemed to encourage Claudius into staying awake. 

"Low Light!" Pietro shook him. "Low Light!" 

Low Light shot up, covered in sweat. "Low Light what's wrong?" Pietro asked. 

"Nothing," Low Light sat back. "Just a dream." 

"Was it about your father?" Pietro asked.

"No," Low Light sighed. "Not this time. It was about…a mission I was on. A long time ago." 

"Oh," Pietro said quietly, understanding that such things were best not talked about. "Do you want to talk about something else to take your mind off of it?" 

"What about kid?" 

Pietro fidgeted. "That Mutant Registration Bill." 

"Hmmm," Low Light mused. "I was wondering when you'd find out about that. So they're starting that up again. Last time it didn't even make it to the floor of the Congress."

"Yeah well it looks like it's got a chance of passing now," Pietro said bitterly.

"No it won't," Low Light told him. 

"How do you know that?" Pietro said hotly.

"You're right," Low Light said. "I don't. I just have faith."

"Yeah that'll work," Pietro grumbled. "Humans will never accept us. They'll hunt us down and…" 

"Don't say things like that!" Low Light snapped. He then softened. "Who am I kidding? A lot of humans will do that. Bit too eager. I've seen it before."

"Like with that general that killed those mutants?" Pietro asked.

"Yeah," Low Light sighed. "But that scumbag is the exception rather than the rule. I think."

"Well that's reassuring," Pietro groaned. 

"It's a dangerous world for mutants, I won't deny that," Low Light sighed. "Right now, hiding is the best defense your kind has without starting a full fledged war." 

"I hate this!" Pietro fumed.

"Yeah it stinks," Low Light sighed. "To be honest I don't know how we're gonna get through this. But we'll find a way." 

"We? You're human! What do you have to worry about?"

Low Light sighed. "Yeah well, human sympathizers aren't exactly popular either if you hadn't noticed. That's why there's so few of us. Most people are more afraid of what other humans do rather than what mutants can do."

"The follow the herd instinct," Pietro said bitterly. "It's never going to get better is it?"

"Not if we allow those kinds of people to stay in power no," Low Light said. "We have to fight their hatred and hunger for power with all we have. I just hope we don't start Armageddon while we do it." 

"Low Light, I'm scared," Pietro hung his head down in shame. 

"Me too kid, me too." 

************************************************************************

Morning came and went. That day everything seemed to be going smoothly. Until the middle of training. Lance started feeling a little queasy suddenly. Then it happened. A huge headache slammed into his brain for no reason. It hit him so hard and so fast it forced him to sink to his knees instantly. Before he knew it the ground started to shake around him. 

"Avalanche!" Spirit ran over to him. 

"Please make it stop," Lance whimpered. He screamed as his body shook violently. He couldn't stop shaking. His mouth started to spit foam.

"Oh god!" He heard Althea's voice. "There's blood coming out of his ears!" 

Everything was a blur of pain and agony. He couldn't see or fathom what was happening. "Make it stop…" He howled as his world crashed around him. "Make it stop!" 

************************************************************************

"What's wrong with him?" Todd cried out as they worked on Lance. 

"He's having a severe attack," Roadblock told him. "Stay out of their way!"

The others could only watch helplessly as they witnessed the medics working on him. They followed behind at a distance as they took him inside to the infirmary. 

"Lance…" Todd looked at the doors as they closed. 

"What's gonna happen to him?" Fred looked like he was going to cry. "Is he gonna die?"

"No," Roadblock comforted him. "He's going to be okay."

"How do you know that?" Pietro cried out. "Didn't you see him? He was bleeding and foaming at the mouth and his eyes were rolled back! What if he had an aneurysm or something? If he hadn't passed out so quickly his powers might have destroyed the whole base or something!" 

"It's okay kid," Shipwreck hugged him. "It's okay. The docs in there are working on him and he'll be just fine. Okay?"

"But…" Pietro asked. 

"Just be strong okay?" Shipwreck took his head into his hands. "Okay?" 

Pietro nodded. They waited in the waiting room for a few minutes. Lifeline came out. "How is he?" Roadblock asked him. 

"He'll be fine," Lifeline sighed. "He had an attack. It's due to his powers evolving as well as the effects of the drugs in his system."

"I thought the pills you gave him were supposed to stop that!" Fred said. 

"No they stop the lesser affects," Lifeline said. "And they prevent his body from going catatonic when he does have a serious attack. If he wasn't taking them, he…"

"Don't say it!" Pietro said. 

"He needs to rest a while," Lifeline said. "We want to keep him under observation for a few days. See how he deals with it, both physically and psychologically. It will help when his next attack comes."

"You mean if his next attack comes," Wanda said.

"No," Lifeline said sadly. "When his next attack comes." 

************************************************************************

Lance lay there in the bed. He was terrified. The majority of the pain was gone, only a numb dullness remained. Still he had no idea why his body betrayed him like that. He couldn't remember. He couldn't remember anything but the pain. 

There was a knock at the door. He looked up and saw Todd, Pietro and Fred coming in. "Hey yo buddy!" Todd smiled. "How ya doin?" 

Lance looked at them. "What…? Where am I?" 

"You're in the infirmary," Todd said. "You had an attack."

"Who are you?" Lance looked at them. 

"What?" Fred blinked.

"Who are you people?" Lance asked. 

"Lance don't you know us?" Pietro asked. 

"Come on buddy," Fred looked worried. "This isn't funny." 

"I…I don't know," Lance began to shake. "I don't know…I…"

"Shhh!" Todd instinctively went to his bedside and started stroking his hair in order to calm him down. "It's okay, Lance. You're safe. It's gonna be okay. We're your friends. We'd never let anything bad happen to you. Pietro go get the doc!"

"Right," Pietro used his speed to take off. This seemed to startle Lance for a second. 

"Don't freak out okay?" Todd said gently. "That's just Pietro. He does that all the time. Okay, take it easy. Just calm down. Okay?"

"I don't know…" Lance's voice grew higher with fear. 

"Lance listen to me," Todd said gently. "We're your friends. You gotta remember!" 

"I don't," Lance was shaking now, tears were leaking out of his eyes. "I don't."

Lifeline came in with Pietro, Roadblock and Spirit. "Let me see him," He went to Lance's side. "Hello Lance. I'm Lifeline. I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to check you over, okay." Lance nodded feebly and Lifeline started examining his eyes and ears. 

"What's wrong with him?" Fred asked. 

"It's one of the symptoms of an attack," Lifeline said. "Short term memory loss. It won't last long."

"How long?" Pietro asked.

"Anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours to a day or so," Lifeline told him. "The best thing to do is stay close to him. He'll remember you much faster if he's surrounded by people he knows and cares about." 

Lance looked at them. "Why are you talking like I'm not in the room?" He said angrily. "I'm here! I can hear everything you say you know!" 

"Sorry," Todd said. "We didn't mean anything by it yo."

"You always do that!" He shouted. "You always think…you…" He looked at them in recognition. "I…I remember now!" 

"Well that's good," Pietro sighed. 

"I don't know how you can forget us," Todd smirked. "We're so loveable!" 

"Please," Lance grumbled. 

"Would you guys excuse us for a minute?" Lifeline asked. Soon only Lifeline, and the other adults remained. 

"That was the most frightening experience I've ever had," Lance shook.

"It's over now," Lifeline said gently. "We just want to run a few more tests on you. Okay?" Lance had no choice but to agree.

First Lifeline took a blood sample. Then he took Lance to another room and had him lie down on a table. Using a strange machine Lifeline ran a scan on his vitals as well as his brainwaves. After a few minutes he allowed Spirit and Roadblock to accompany him back to the room. Lance was never so glad to see the inside of a hospital room. 

"How did this happen?" Lance asked as Spirit helped him back onto the bed. "I thought the medication was supposed to stop this?"

"It only lessens the effects of the drug," Spirit told him. 

"You mean it could have been worse?" Lance blinked. Spirit nodded. 

"I knew I'd have problems," Lance gulped. "But I never imagined anything like this! How could this happen to me? How could you not tell me?"

"We weren't sure," Roadblock told him. "Apparently there are several different side effects of the drug, due to its insatiability. It effects different people different ways."

"This is going to happen again isn't it?" Lance blinked. 

Spirit nodded sadly. "I'm sorry." 

"God I'm a washout," Lance groaned putting his head into his hands. 

"No you're not," Roadblock told him.

"Oh don't give me that!" Lance snapped. "Look at me! I'm a mess! What if I had an attack like that on the battlefield or something?" 

"Listen," Spirit told him. "Lifeline thinks he's come up with a way to not only decrease your attacks but to predict them. By increasing your medication and by having your vital signs monitored regularly you may lead a normal life."

"Yeah right, I've never been able to have anything close to a normal life," Lance scoffed. "What if it doesn't work? What if…"

"Will you stop being so negative?" Roadblock snapped. 

"I can't help it! I don't want to leave here!" Lance yelped. "This is the first place in a long time that I felt like I was wanted. That I belonged. That I wasn't a total screw up and now…" He started to shake. 

"That will not happen," Spirit held him by the shoulders. "You do belong. And you are wanted. And you're not going to be sent away because of your condition. I promise." 

"Kid in case you haven't noticed we didn't just take all of you in to make you perfect soldiers!" Roadblock said. "We set this up to help mutants and make sure you ain't exploited. Not just to train you, but to help you. We ain't gonna give up on you because things are a little rocky. Got it?" 

Lifeline walked in. "We found something," He said. "These attacks you have indicate a radical shift in your body chemistry. Your body is compensating for your evolution. Therefore there's a good chance that these attacks are not fatal."

"Whoopee," Lance grumbled. "Am I gonna mutate into a rock or something?"

"I don't think you're physical form will change," Lifeline said. "But your powers will increase. You may not get as many headaches as before when you use your powers now."

"To be quite honest with you I don't really feel like using them for a long time," Lance sighed. "Look this is gonna sound weird, but can I get out of this room for a bit? I just wanna sit outside and clear my head. I feel like really need to go outside for some reason!"

"Maybe that's not a bad idea," Lifeline said. "You do have earth based powers. Maybe your body needs some physical contact with the ground in order for it to calm down."

"I'll take him to the garden," Spirit said. 

"Another thing," Lance gulped. "Can you not tell the guys where I am? I just can't face them like this. I…" 

"Of course," Spirit nodded. "You need some time to compose yourself. I will make sure you're not disturbed." 

"I'm already pretty disturbed," Lance grumbled as Spirit helped him into a wheelchair. Soon they were alone in the garden. 

Lance sat on the ground. He closed his eyes and removed his slippers, letting his bare feet touch the earth. "I feel better now," He sighed. "Just sitting here feels…safe. Like it's where I belong." 

"Your connection with the earth is growing," Spirit noted. 

"This whole thing has just hit me," Lance sighed. He looked around. "I didn't realize how bad it was until now."

"It will be all right," Spirit said. "It's not like you can't lead a normal life or anything."

"As normal as it gets when you're a mutant. I don't wanna end up like an invalid or something," Lance said. "I'd rather die."

"That won't happen," Spirit told him. 

"I hope not," Lance sighed. "It feels like I'm cracking up inside. Look I know I probably asked this before and it sounds stupid but…you won't leave us will you? After everything I've been through the past couple of years I don't think I can take anybody ditching me again. I think I'd go crazy or something. Well crazier anyway."

"I'm not going to abandon you," Spirit told him. "I promise." 

"I just need to hear that every now and then," Lance sighed. "It's stupid I know. Makes me sound like a little kid." 

"It's not stupid," Spirit told him. He allowed Lance to rest his head on his shoulder.

"I feel so weak," Lance muttered sleepily. "It's embarrassing. I'm supposed to be strong but I want someone to take care of me right now. I'm not used to it."

"We all have our moments of weakness, young one," Spirit told him. "That is why we need each other. To keep us strong. Rest now." 

"'Kay," Lance muttered before he fell asleep. Spirit let the boy rest next to him for a while. He hadn't the heart to move him. He looked so peaceful. 

"Poor child," Spirit sighed, brushing Lance's bangs from his face. "You've been through so much. And I fear the worst is yet to come." 

**Yup, they're all pretty much messed up. But things get even more complicated as the outside world becomes more hostile to mutants! Will our team learn to trust the Joes, or turn their backs on them? Stay tuned to find out! **


	25. Bad News All Around

**Bad News All Around**

Cautiously Lance slunk around the building. He took note of his prey sitting idly out in the open. He made a dash to the bushes silently. An evil grin emerged on his face. _Okay Toad, let's see you get out of this! _

"It's payback time!" Lance shouted as he leapt out. Toad was nowhere to be found. "Where'd he go?" He looked around. 

"BANZAI!" Todd cried out as he surprised Lance from behind, landing on his back. The next thing he knew he was lying face down in the grass. 

"Toad! Get off me!" Lance snarled.

"Boy Lance you really stink at this," Todd smirked as he sat on him. 

"I'm supposed to surprise you!" Lance growled.

"Yeah right," Todd laughed. "NOOGIE!" He gave him one on the head.

"Ow! Not so hard!" Lance snapped. Todd laughed as he hopped off of him. "That's it! You are dead you little sewer baby!"

"Aww," Todd laughed as he taunted Lance by hopping ahead of him. "Is poor little Lancy-Poo mad cause he can't catch a little ninja?" 

"You are not a ninja you psychotic loon!" Lance shouted as he chased Todd all over the place. "Fight me like a man!" 

"Can't catch me!" Todd blew a raspberry. He dodged Lance's attempt to grab him. "Oh come on! Come on! You're not even close! Blob's more of a challenge than you!" 

"THAT'S IT! PREPARE TO DIE!" Lance screamed as he tackled Toad. Actually that was his plan, what he got was a face full of grass. He looked up and saw someone else's feet. They were attached to the body of General Hawk. "General!" 

He got up quickly and saluted. Todd joined him. "At ease boys," Hawk smirked. "I hate to interrupt your training session or whatever that was but I need to speak to all of you kids. Follow me."

"What did you do?" Todd hissed at Lance as they went inside one of the buildings. 

"Me? I didn't do anything?" Lance hissed back. "Maybe you did something!"

"Not me!" Todd snapped. 

"Nobody did anything," Hawk told them. "At least not here." 

"What do you mean?" Todd asked.

"I think I'd better let Psyche-Out explain," He said as they entered a conference room. All the kids were there minus the triplets and the baby. 

"So what's going on?" Althea asked. "We're all here. What's this all about already?" 

"Psyche-Out and I thought it was time that we introduce another part of your training," Hawk explained. "It's like group therapy where you not only talk about your problems and how you are all feeling, but what's going on in the world concerning mutants."

"Like the Mutant Registration Bill?" Lance asked.

"Yeah like that," Psyche-Out said. "Supposedly it's supposed to have mutants register their identities and powers with the government. That way the government can know what they are and help them. It supposed to be an outreach program. To help them adjust to society, counseling and see if they need medical treatment." 

"Yeah I'll bet," Lance growled. "Three guesses what kind of treatment they're gonna give any mutants." 

"For the record I agree with you," Hawk told him. "Now some generals are in favor of this for obvious reasons. However for the most part the official stance of the military is non-committal."

"Why?" Pietro asked. "I mean it sounds like a perfect way to draft mutants into the army!"

"The Mutant Registration Bill has no provisions for any forcible drafting of mutants into the military," Hawk told them. 

"Not yet," Lance said. "If it does pass how long do you think it's gonna be before it does?" 

"Yeah and then it's rounding up every mutant in sight and placing them into camps," Pietro grumbled. 

"But they can't really do that!" Fred shouted. "Can they?"

"It's happened before," Lance snapped. "With the Japanese during WWII and during the colonization of the west they nearly wiped out all the Native American tribes! What thinks it won't be any different with us?" 

"That's another reason why some generals and military officials are against this bill," Hawk said. "They don't want a repeat of the past." 

"But not enough, am I right?" Lance snapped. Hawk remained silent. "I knew it!"

"I'm afraid there's more," Psyche-Out sighed. "Yesterday morning in Wyoming an entire family was killed when their house was bombed. Nobody's claimed responsibility, but the evidence points to the Friends of Humanity." 

"What?" Althea felt her blood rush away from her face.

"They claim there were two mutants inside that blew up the house using their powers," Hawk sighed. "It was identified that there were mutants in there but…"

"They killed them," Pietro said. "How old were they?"

"One was 25 and her daughter who was only four," Hawk sighed. "The worst thing is there isn't any evidence they had any powers at all. They just looked different." 

"My god," Wanda gasped. 

"They're going to get away with it aren't they?" Lance said angrily. 

"Don't say that!" Althea shouted.

"Why not?" Wanda said. "It's true! There haven't been any arrests have there?"

"No," Hawk sighed. "And a lot of people are claiming it a prime example of why the Mutant Registration Bill needs to be voted into law."

"I knew it!" Pietro groaned he ran and kicked the wall. 

"Will you guys calm down!" Althea shouted as Lance's tremors started to shake the building.

"Calm down! How can we calm down? They bombed a house!" Lance shouted. "They blew it up because a couple of mutants were living there! And people are happy about it! How can anyone justify that?" The tremors stopped but Lance stood there fuming. 

"They can't," Hawk said. "I'm sorry Lance. It was a damned shame. We figured you all had a right to know what was going on in the world. It wouldn't be right to hide the truth from you. I know you're angry. I'm angry too. I…I can't tell you how sorry I am. I know it doesn't mean much coming from a human. But I'm sorry." 

"Well at least you're honest," Lance sighed after a few seconds. "I still don't know if humans will ever accept us. Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful to you guys but the more I see things like this…the more I wonder if you guys are the exception rather than the rule." 

"The X-Geeks say it's because humans don't know any better," Pietro said. 

"Because humans don't know any better," Hawk said bitterly. "That's a load of bull! We do know better! God we've had thousands of years to try and get along with each other! Millions of people throughout history have shown what good can be accomplished as well as the evil if we learn to accept our differences. Every major religion teaches peace and tolerance at the core their beliefs. And yet we humans still manage to screw things up!" 

Hawk stayed silent for a moment. "I dunno, maybe there is something wrong with the human race. Maybe it goes back to when we were living in caves, afraid of the thunder and lightning and were still easy pickings for every lion running around. Maybe we never got over that. I dunno." 

"The truth is," Hawk looked at them. "We human beings are just as responsible for the way things are as mutants. Maybe even more. The truth is a lot of humans don't want to understand. They'd rather have a scapegoat or hurt others because it's easier than doing the work themselves and changing. I guess I can't blame mutants for hating humans. Actually, it's the mutants that don't know any better. And that's our fault. If we humans treat you mutants with scorn and contempt and hate, how do we expect you to react?" 

He walked over to Lance. "Maybe that's the real reason I wanted to do this. Maybe it's time we changed things. For the better. There's enough hate among humans. You shouldn't have to be contaminated with our baggage. You're humanity's chance for a fresh start." 

Lance sighed. "I still don't know."

"They didn't have to tell us all this," Althea said. "They told us the truth. I say we at least try to give some humans a chance."

"Easy for you to say," Fred said. "You lived with them all your life!"

"Yeah what do you know about what's it's like?" Pietro snapped.

"What do I know?" Althea growled. "I've been a marked target since the day I was born! Do you know what it's like knowing that certain terrorist organizations are always plotting to capture you so they can run experiments on you? To never even have a chance at having a normal life? Last year was the first time I could even go to a regular school and even that didn't last very long! I know what happens to mutants that get experimented on. I've seen it! The greatest fear I have is being captured and experimented on like my mother! That has terrified the hell out of me since I was a little kid! So don't you tell me I know nothing about it!" 

"But you've never had to deal with human prejudice," Wanda said.

"The hell I haven't!" Althea shouted. "You think the Joes are the only people I've met? Ever since I can remember I've had strangers give me strange looks. I'm talking about other soldiers and scientists that have been on this base. Some were okay, but others saw me as an oddity. A freak experiment gone wrong. Once scientist almost convinced the brass to have my family and me taken away to some kind of research lab! I know about what people are capable of better than you can possibly imagine! Just because I was lucky to live with a family that for the most part cared about me doesn't make me any better than you! I've seen both sides of humanity. Based on that, one good human is worth ten times more than twenty bad ones! So don't tell me I don't know anything! I know what I know!" 

There was stunned silence. "I think maybe we should take a break for now," Psyche-Out said. 

The kids were stunned. They weren't the only ones. "Are you sure this was the right thing to do?" Hawk asked Psyche-Out as they withdrew.

"They would have found out anyway sooner or later," Psyche-Out told him. "Better from us than the news. At least this way they know we're not hiding the truth from them." 

"I know but…" He noticed Pietro coming towards them hesitantly. "Yes son?"

"General Hawk?" Pietro said softly. "I…I want you to know. I don't really hate all humans. I just hate the way they treat us. Magneto…my father was always telling me that humans would destroy mutants if they get the chance. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe only some humans will do that. But I don't think you will. Not anymore." 

Pietro zipped out of the room quickly. Hawk sighed. "Maybe there is some hope," He said softly. 

************************************************************************

General Bragg smiled as he watched the news. It had been so easy to find a splinter group of the Friends of Humanity and through a very reliable source have some information 'leak' out. It was only a pity that the mutants that had been exterminated had no real powers, but then there was no need to inform the public on that. He had managed to have certain people put a hold on that part of the information so the majority of the public would never know. 

Not that many people cared now anyway. It was a perfect ploy to give the Mutant Registration Bill the steam it needed. The fact that several human homes were damaged nearby made it a plus. Yes he had managed to increase the public's hatred of mutants even more. And the best part of all no one could trace it back to him. 

Soon the bill would pass, and then the next phase could proceed. Containment and extermination. Well maybe not all of them. Those that would be useful to his plans would be spared just long enough to be of use to him. Yes, it would be very useful to have some mutants under his command. Then he could finally become a Juggler and gain real power. And the first mutants he would take were those freaks at the Joe base. 

"You thought you were so clever, didn't you Hawk?" Bragg snickered. "It'll just be a matter of time until those freaks are under my control." 


	26. The Dangers of Coffee

****

Okay, we need a happy break right about now. Time for some silliness! 

**The Dangers of Coffee**

"I swear," Lance groaned as he washed the dishes. "There must be a million dishes here!"

"One million, two hundred sixty-seven thousand three hundred and forty seven to be exact," BA said. He rolled his eyes as the sound of a dish broke. "Make that one million, two hundred sixty-seven thousand three hundred and forty six…" 

"My hands are permanent prunes," Pietro groaned. 

"Speaking of prunes where did I put them?" BA scratched his head. "There's a new omelet recipe I wanna try out with them." He wandered off.

"I don't like the sound of that," Lance gulped.

"Relax Lance," Todd said. "I hid 'em! By the time he finds them we'll all be off to the Slaughterhouse." 

"What's the Slaughterhouse?" Wanda asked.

"I don't like the sound of it," Fred grumbled.

"It's where one of the Joes trains an elite group of problem soldiers," Althea told him. "They do the impossible jobs. It's also used as a kind of punishment whenever one of the Joes gets out of line and seriously needs to shape up!" 

"Oh goody," Lance rolled his eyes. "That sounds like so much fun!" 

"Just when I started getting used to the routine here," Wanda grumbled. 

They heard a crashing sound and looked into the pantry. Althea was rummaging around looking for something. "What are you doing?" Lance asked.

"Trying to find something," Althea told him. "Ah ha! Got it!" She pulled out a canister and started to prepare what was inside.

"It's coffee," Lance said. "So what?"  
"Not just any coffee," Althea smirked. "BA's special blend, the real good stuff."

"What's so special about coffee?" Wanda asked.

"Try some and you'll see," Althea smiled. "It's instant so…TA DA!"

"Aw this stuff is great!" Todd reached for a cup and slurped it down. 

"Try it!" Althea said. "Toad's having some!"

"Toad eats insects," Wanda snapped. 

"What you guys chicken or something?" Althea taunted. "It's only coffee. Of course if you're not up to the challenge…"

"Give me that!" Pietro grabbed a cup. 

"Are you sure you should do that?" Wanda asked. 

"Come on," Pietro took a drink. "What harm could it do?" 

It is a little known fact that the average mutant metabolism reacts to caffeine almost the same way that a normal human's responds to alcohol. A shot of expresso is roughly the same for a mutant as a tequila shot does to a human. And a single cup of BA's coffee was the equivalent of two tequila bottles, a rum bottle, and a shot of vodka. 

"Well?" Lance asked. Pietro's eyes went very wide and he let out a gasp. "Pietro!" 

"Oh man," Pietro gulped. "That's goooooooooodddd cofffeeeeeeeeeee!" 

"So who's next?" Althea made another cup. 

"Give me that!" Fred grabbed a cup.

"Yeah," Lance took a cup as well. 

"Why not?" Wanda took a cup.

"Bottom's up!" Althea cackled as they drank.

"Hey this stuff is great!" Fred said. "Toad? Why are your eyes spinning like that? Oh boy…" About two seconds later he figured it out. 

************************************************************************

"No BA for the last time I haven't seen your prunes!" Beach Head groaned. He and Hawk were talking to him in the rec. room. 

"Look the last time I had them they were in this place," He scratched his head. "I caught some of the guys using them for target practice with air darts."

"Well that explains the purple stains on the wall," Hawk sighed. "So are the kids done with KP duty yet?"

"Nah they were just finishing up when I left," BA told them. 

"You mean you left those maniacs alone in the kitchen unsupervised?" Beach Head shouted. "Don't you remember what happened the last time that happened with the X-Men! The kids got into the coffee and trashed the place!" 

"Oh I'm sure that won't happen again," BA waved his hand. "What are the odds of that happening?" 

"DA TA DA! DA TA DA TA DA!" Lance sped by face down on a large wheeled tray shouting the Superman theme song. He was wearing a towel as a cape and a bowl on his head. 

"I'd say the odds were pretty good," Beach Head groaned. He stuck his head out. "AVALANCHE!" 

"Yes sir!" Lance ran in and saluted energetically. "PRIVATE AVALANCHE REPORTING FOR DUTY SIR!" 

"How many cups did you drink private?" Hawk sighed.

"TWO CUPS SIR!" Lance responded cheerfully. "I FEEL GREAT!" 

"Uh huh," Hawk sighed. "Avalanche, what were you doing?" 

"Practicing flying sir," Lance said happily. 

"Uh huh," Hawk looked at him. "Two full cups?"

"Yup," Lance nodded eagerly.

"Why don't you just sit down a while Avalanche?" Hawk took out a chair. "Take a nice break from your flight training. You've earned it."

"Okay sir!" Lance saluted and sat down. "Hey this chair's got wheels!" He played with the chair for a bit. 

"I think I'd better go back to the kitchen," BA gulped and ran off. 

"Avalanche," Hawk bent down. "Avalanche listen to me, You're a little hyper right now. So I need you to focus. Got it?" 

"Uh huh," Lance nodded happily. 

"BA's Special Blend has…an unusual effect on mutants," Hawk told him. "In other word's you're sort of drunk. So I need you to try and stay perfectly calm. Understand?" He pointed a finger at Lance and waved it.

"Wow!" Lance looked at him with wide eyes. "How'd you make all those cool colors come from your fingers?" 

"Okay he's gone," Hawk sighed. "Beach Head take him to the infirmary while I see to the damage okay?"

"Wonderful," Beach Head grumbled. "Okay Private! Let's go! Move it!" 

"Okay, can I have a piggy back ride?" Lance asked.

"What?" Beach Head snapped.

"Just give him one," Hawk ordered. "It'll be easier believe me!"

"Oh fine," Beach Head grumbled allowing Lance to climb onto his back. "One of these days I have got to put in for a transfer!"

"Giddy yap!" Lance cried out as Beach Head took him to the infirmary. 

"OH SHUT UP!" Beach Head shouted as they left. 

Hawk ran to the cafeteria. He saw Duke along the way. "Sir there's some kind of situation in the Cafeteria!" Duke gulped. 

"I know the kids got into the coffee again!" Hawk groaned. "We really got to ban that stuff or something! Come on, we'd better go see the damage. Oh lord!" He exclaimed as they opened the door. 

"WHAHOOOOO!" Pietro sped by painting the cafeteria bright colors as he ran. 

"Here we go again," Duke moaned. 

They saw Fred and Wanda calmly drinking coffee in the middle of the cafeteria. "Well those two look sort of normal," Hawk said.

"Such a wonderful day for a spot of coffee isn't it?" Fred quipped with a mangled British accent.

"Quite," Wanda said. She then calmly shot out a hexbolt to open up the kitchen doors. 

Out came a tidal flood of water. "SURF'S UP!" Todd crowed surfing along on a tray. Althea was right behind him. "HANG TEN BABY!" The water flooded the entire room. 

"Oh yeah," Duke sighed as he looked at his soaked boots. "This is gonna be fun to clean up. At least they didn't do too much damage!" 

"That's it," Hawk groaned. "We're sending them to the Slaughterhouse! We need a break!" 

**Next chapter: Time for training! And time for our merry mutants to torment someone new! **


	27. Welcome to the Slaughterhouse

**It's time to torture new people. That's always fun. Time to get acquainted with more people from the Joe Universe! **

**Welcome to the Slaughterhouse**

The next day four figures stood alone in an open desert. The leader wore silver sunglasses, army fatigues and a sergeant's hat. One of his companions, a tall man with short brown hair and wearing a red uniform snapped. "I can't believe we're stuck babysitting a bunch of kids!"

Sgt. Slaughter turned to him; "This bunch of kids has more power between the lot of them than an entire Cobra battalion Mercer." 

"Mutants or not," A dark skinned man wearing a football jersey with the sleeves torn growled. "We're supposed to be the Renegades! An elite group of soldiers who do the most impossible jobs! Not a bunch of nannies to a group of hyperactive baby superhero wannabes!" 

"Red Dog is right," Tauros, a bald man in a yellow uniform spoke in an Eastern European accent. "Why do we have to do it? Even when I was in the circus I hated kids!" 

"That's because they were always stealing your cotton candy Tauros," Mercer snickered.

"I like cotton candy," Tauros folded his arms. 

"Look," Sarge told them. "You and these kids have something in common, you're all a group of destructive maniacs who haven't always stayed on the straight and narrow. Hawk thinks we can whip these kids into shape and scare them straight so that they don't use their powers for evil again. It won't be any different than any other soldier sent here for punishment. Besides, it's only for a month or so until their new home is finished." 

"If they live that long," Red Dog growled as they saw the Tomahawk chopper arrive in the distance. "Here they come!" 

The Tomahawk started to land. "What has this come to?" Mercer growled. "Used to be the chopper didn't even land! They just tossed the poor sods out with at parachute!"

"They are just kids," Sarge told him.

"Ah," Mercer waved. "Kids today have it too soft! They need to toughen up!"

Right on cue the first one out of the chopper was Lance. He immediately rushed to the side and started to vomit. "See what I mean?" Mercer grumbled in disgust.

"Is he all right?" Sarge asked Roadblock who disembarked. 

"Never mind Avalanche," Roadblock waved. "He gets airsick."

"That's good to know," Sarge grumbled. "What is that smell?"

"It ain't me!" Todd said.

"Sorry," Shipwreck appeared with Claudius in a baby holder on his chest. "The kid seriously needs a diaper change."

"You brought the baby?" Sgt. Slaughter yelped. 

"Well it's not like I could leave the kid alone," Shipwreck snapped.

"Oh boy," Mercer grumbled. "Just like any other soldier that comes here huh?" 

"Goody!" Brittany popped up. "We're going camping!"

"It is not camping stupid!" Daria told her.

"She thinks anything that doesn't have room service is camping," Quinn followed.

"And the Triplets," Sarge groaned. "This is just getting better and better." 

Soon all the kids were off as well as Roadblock, Shipwreck, Low Light, Spirit and Cover Girl. "Have fun!" Lift Ticket laughed as he took off. 

"Some fun," Wanda grumbled. "What's fun to do out here?"

"Well let's have a nice ten mile run to the base," Sarge grinned. "That ought to be fun!" 

"Great! See ya!" Pietro sped off leaving them in the dust. 

"Let me guess?" Althea asked the Sarge. "You forgot he could do that right?"

"Uh yeah," Sarge gulped. "Something tells me we'd better get back to the Slaughterhouse pronto!"

"If there's a Slaughterhouse left," Roadblock grumbled. 

"We'll fly ahead!" Daria said as the three girls lifted up into the air. 

"I am not seeing what I think I'm seeing!" Mercer's mouth dropped. 

"WHEEEE!" The triplets took off into the sky. 

"THEY CAN FLY NOW?" Sarge shouted. 

"Yeah they just mastered that the other day," Cover Girl told him. "They finally got control of using telekinesis as a group." 

"COME BACK DOWN HERE!" Sarge screamed. "Shipwreck tell them they're not supposed to use their powers!" 

"You go up and tell them!" Shipwreck grumbled. "Hey I've got too much stuff! Somebody's gotta carry the kid here!" 

"I would but I got all this other stuff!" Fred indicated the huge mound on his back. 

"You take him," Shipwreck handed the baby to Sarge. 

"But I…" Sarge started to protest.

"Oh for crying out loud just take him!" Cover Girl snapped. "What? You can't handle a baby on your back?" 

"Uh…" Sarge couldn't believe the situation he was in. Claudius giggled. "I don't believe this." 

The Renegades snickered. "What are you laughing at?" Cover Girl snapped, handing each of them some baggage. "You carry the diapers! You carry the toys! And you carry all the clothes and baby bath stuff! Anybody got a problem with that?"

"No ma'am," Mercer gulped under Cover Girl's glare. 

"No problem," Red Dog replied.

"I like toys," Tauros grinned. 

"Well then let's move out!" Cover Girl shouted. "No telling what damage those three will do!" She started to run. 

"You heard the lady," Sarge said. "Move it!" They all started to run. 

"Where's the Blind Master?" Sarge asked as they ran. 

"He said he needed to go on a retreat," Low Light told him. "Personally I think that he needed to get away from these little lunatics!" 

"Are they that bad?" Red Dog asked.

"You have to see it for yourself to believe it," Low Light sighed.

Several hours and a few rest periods later, they finally made it to the Slaughterhouse. It was an odd base. It was situated inside a canyon. Half of it was a carved out rock dwelling inside a huge mountain; the other half was an abandoned jumbo jet. "There it is boys and girls," Sarge pointed to the base. "Home sweet home." 

"Uh I have a question. It didn't used to be purple did it?" Lance asked.

"No it was not!" Sarge growled as he saw the sight. "WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Three guesses how?" Low Light sighed. 

"Well it's about time you slowpokes got here," Pietro was at the front door. "I was running out of things to do." 

"You painted the base?" Sarge yelped.

"Well I got bored," Pietro said. "It was real dirty inside so I tided up a bit as well."

"What do you mean a bit?" Low Light asked. 

"TA DA!" Pietro swung the door open. "Boy this place was a pigsty!" 

"Oh my lord…" Red Dog looked around. The entire front kitchen/living room area was completely spotless. "I've never seen this place so clean in my life!" 

"I'll be the judge of that! There'd better not be any dirt…." Sarge inspected the place. "I'll be damned. There isn't!"

"Look at this!" Taurus balked. "He even got the ketchup stains out of the ceiling! They've been there since last New Years!"

"He even made pink curtains," Red Dog gulped. 

"Pink?" Sarge looked at Pietro. 

"It adds to the ambiance," Pietro said. 

"Okay this is starting to creep me out," Mercer looked around nervously. "Mutant powers I can handle. A total germ free environment is another matter!" 

There was a huge explosion upstairs. "What was that?" Tauros shouted. 

"Oh the Triplets are working on a new laser cannon or something," Pietro waved. "Or maybe they're just making improvements on the old one. I forget which."

"MY LASER CANNON!" Tauros screamed as he ran upstairs. "NO! DON'T TOUCH THAT! AAAAAAHHHHH! OWWW! SARGE TELL THEM TO QUIT TOUCHING MY STUFF!" 

"Okay Sarge I just gotta ask," Mercer said. "Who's supposed to be scaring who straight?" 

"To be honest, right now I'm not so sure," Sarge gulped as he heard the noise above. 


	28. A Break From it All

**A Break From it All**

"All right all of you lunatics!" Sarge shouted. "Ten Hut!" 

The older kids stood at attention. Sarge inspected them. "All right kiddies. Playtime is over! Its time you all learned how to work as a team! You're going to learn to become soldiers and learn soldiering! Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes sir! Sgt. Slaughter sir!" They all shouted. 

"You kids need to shape up and look mean!" Sarge growled. Then he looked at one of them. "Uh Scarlet Witch, not that mean!" 

Pietro snickered. "Something funny Quicksilver?" Sarge got into his face.

"Well yeah," Pietro said. "When is the Scarlet Witch not psychotic?"

"YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT YOU CREEP!" Wanda screamed, lunging at him. 

Pietro sped off. "Can't get me!"

"GET BACK HERE PIETRO!" Wanda chased after him firing off hexbolts.

"Not again," Sarge groaned putting his head into his hands. "Al…Wavedancer get those two under control!"

"Why me?" Althea asked. The sound of explosions rang off in the distance. 

"Because you're the team leader that's why!" Sarge snapped. "You're the only one here with an ounce of maturity! The rest of you practice fighting with the Renegades!"

"Goody!" Fred grinned.

"Oh lord," Mercer groaned when Sarge left shaking his head. 

Sarge staggered into the kitchen. Roadblock and Shipwreck were there. "Three days," Sarge moaned. "It's only been three days and already they've destroyed half the training equipment!"

"They can get a little hyper can they?" Shipwreck quipped. 

"A little hyper?" Sarge yelped. "I have trained some baaaaddd recruits before, but this is the first time that I have ever had doubts I could do anything for them!" 

"Sarge I know that you're under a lot of duress," Roadblock said. "But for these kids this is progress! They're already fighting better than they ever have before. It's just training and discipline they need more! They just need to learn to work together as a team, and then it will be a dream."

"Well at least Althea helps in that department," Sarge noticed as he looked out the window and saw Althea dragging Pietro by the ear. 

"Wavedancer," Shipwreck told him. "Remember?"

"I can't believe your little girl has a codename already," Sarge shook his head. "How did she grow up so fast?"

"With a father like Shipwreck it was necessary," Roadblock quipped.

"Har har," Shipwreck said drolly. "How are the Triplets doing?" 

"Cover Girl is teaching them about engines again," Sarge sighed. "She seems to have a knack with those three." 

"They always did like her," Shipwreck said. "I'm glad they came here. I didn't want the kids to part with each other. It was hard enough to leave Polly behind."

"Yeah I thought it was a little quiet around here without that bird's squawking," Sarge said. "What happened to him?" 

"He had a slight run in with Wanda before we left," Shipwreck told him. "The docs say his feathers will grow back in no time."

"Oh brother! The older kids really need a lot of work," Sarge grumbled. 

"Well at least their fighting skills are getting better," Roadblock pointed out the window. Outside Fred was wrestling with all three Renegades and winning easily. 

"Yeah but I'm really concerned with how they work as a team," Sarge groaned as he watched Todd and Lance help Wanda and Althea gang up on Pietro. 

"Let's just say that they have a lot of issues," Roadblock sighed. "What are we going to do with them? Every time we seem to make some progress, they revert back to fighting four year olds." 

"We need to do something to get the kids to work together and bond some more," Shipwreck sighed. "Something drastic."

"Spirit's going over his psychiatric books to think of something," Roadblock said. "I tell you one thing, it's gonna take a lot more than something simple as them hating us if we punish them severely. I don't know what we have to do, but we gotta do it soon." 

Tauros sailed through a window shattering glass everywhere. "Sorry!" Fred shouted. 

"Hey Tauros," Shipwreck said. "Want a cup of coffee?"

"Does it have any vodka in it?" Tauros moaned. 

"I think we're out," Shipwreck sighed.

************************************************************************

That night three figures snuck out of the Slaughterhouse. "I can't take any more!" Mercer grumbled.

"Yeah," Red Dog groaned. "I never realized how rough parenting is! Makes basic training seems like child's play!" 

"I have consulted the Spirits," Tauros said. "They tell me it is time to get plastered!"

"For once they have the right idea!" Mercer said as they went towards their vehicles. Tauros and Red Dog to their motorcycles, Mercer to a truck. "I'm taking the truck! I have a feeling we need to bring back a few things. Beer, Scotch, whisky…" 

He opened the door and saw Shipwreck in the front. "What took you so long?" He asked.

"Get out of here Shipwreck," Mercer yanked him out. 

"Yeah it's because of your brats we're losing our minds!" Tauros cried out.

"Some of us already lost them before they got here," Red Dog said. 

"Okay we all need a break," Shipwreck said. "How about the four of us go into town to blow off some steam?"

"This is a Renegade party," Red Dog snarled. "Why should we let you in? What makes you think you're tough enough to hang with us?"

"Hello?" Shipwreck pointed back to the base. "Five kids! Remember? Not to mention all the other little darlings I've been watching lately! You ever try separating the Scarlet Witch from Quicksilver when they're fighting? You'd have an easier time separating a crocodile from its dinner!" 

"He has a point," Tauros said. 

"Come on," Mercer motioned. Shipwreck climbed into the truck. They took off. Little did they know they had some extra passengers. They drove into the nearest town, which was nearly an hour away. The four men parked their vehicles at the convenience store and left off to their own devices. 

A certain white haired teen poked his head out. "They're gone!" 

"Come on!" Lance said. "Let's follow them!" 

"I can't believe you all talked me into this!" Wanda snapped.

"Well you wanted a break too!" Fred said. "Ooh! They have Slushies!" 

"Too bad Althea and Toad decided to stay behind," Lance sighed. 

"They didn't want to get in trouble," Fred said.

"Get in trouble? Ha! They wanted some time to make out!" Lance snickered.

"Jealous?" Pietro snickered. He dodged Lance's swipe. "Come on! Let's see what they're up to!"

"They're probably going to get plastered," Lance groaned. "Right Blob? Blob? Where'd he go?"

"Tree guesses," Pietro pointed to the convenience store. 

"Oh man!" Lance slapped his forehead when he saw Fred munching down on some food straight from the shelves. "We are so busted!" 

"Does anybody have any money?" Wanda sighed.

"I thought you had some?" Lance said.

"No!" She snapped. "Why would I have any money?"

"None of us has any cash!" Pietro said. "See ya!" He took off.

"Pietro!" Lance snapped.

"Figures," Wanda sighed. "Come on, we'd better find one of the adults and face the music. We're gonna need some responsible adult to talk to." 

"That won't be too hard," Lance pointed to a nearby storefront. There was Tauros riding a mini mechanical horse. 

"YEEHA!" Tauros was having the time of his life. 

"A grown man riding on a kiddie ride," Wanda groaned. "Oh yeah, he's the right one to talk to." They headed for him. "Tauros!"

"What are you kids doing here?" Tauros yelped.

"We could ask you the same question," Wanda said pointing to the horse. "Our answer is that we were bored and wanted to follow you guys to see what the town was like. What's your answer for this?" 

"I like rides!" Tauros snapped.

"Look we need your help," Lance said. "Blobs eating his way through an entire convenience mart and if we don't stop him soon…"

"I get the picture! Well it will have to wait until after my ride!" He kept going.

Wanda used her powers to make the horse shoot out from its frame and fly halfway around the parking lot. "Ride's over!" She snapped. 

"Okay…I'll get off now," Tauros said in a funny voice. 

Little did they know already someone was on the scene. Mercer and Red Dog had turned back to get something to snack on at the convenience store when they saw Fred munching on every potato chip he could find. Pietro had returned and was now tormenting the store's owner by rearranging all the items. 

"This goes over here! No wait! I like it better here!" Pietro zoomed around. "I'll put this here! Or maybe here! No! Here! No! Here!" 

"Somebody help me!" The shop owner moaned. "This one is driving me crazy and this one ate all the doughnuts!"

"Mmm," Fred licked his lips. "Sprinkles." 

"What are you kids doing here?" Mercer growled.

"We just wanted to see the town," Fred told him.

"Oh great!" Red Dog growled. "Even when we're running off they follow us!" 

"Uh how much did he eat?" Mercer said taking out his wallet.

"Over 2000 dollars worth of groceries!" The shop owner moaned. Mercer slid the wallet back into his pocket. 

"Okay here's what we do…" Red Dog looked like he was ready to hit the owner from the back.

"RED DOG!" Mercer snapped. "No! We don't do that anymore! We'll have to put it on a credit card!"

"But the only one of us with a charge card is Shipwreck," Red Dog said. "He could be anywhere."

"This is Shipwreck remember? I think I have a pretty good idea where he is," Mercer grumbled. "We'll have to leave the kids here until we find him."

"NO!" The shop owner yelled. "Look, I trust you! You can all go! Pay me later! Don't pay me! I don't care! Just get them out of here! Please! For the love of all that is holy please take them!" 

"We'll be back," Red Dog said. "Move it kids!" They shoved them outside. 

Mercer made sure he held on to Pietro. "What were you doing in there?" 

"Well I got bored painting the town," Pietro told him.

"Painting the…?" Mercer looked around and saw many of the buildings were covered in multi colors of paint. "Oh no!"

"Yeah I found all this paint lying around over there and I figured the place could use some color and…" Pietro said. 

"And here I thought that was just an American figure of speech," Tauros came over with Wanda and Lance. 

"Why did you little twerps follow us?" Mercer snarled. "Now we have to go back!"

"Why?" Tauros asked.

"We came to get away from their bickering lamebrain!" Mercer said. 

"Yeah we needed a break from you kids killing each other!" Red Dog snapped. 

"We don't always mean to fight," Fred fidgeted with his fingers. "It just happens." 

"We don't really hate each other," Lance said. "Sometimes we just remember things and get angry."

"Yeah," Pietro shrugged. "I guess we've all acted like jerks towards each other at one point or another." 

"Some of us more than others," Wanda folded her arms. 

"Come on," Mercer grumbled as they went off to search for Shipwreck. "Let's find the sailor, pay off the damage you've done and get out of here before the Sarge has all our hides! Now where could that lunatic be?" 

Lance looked over to a nearby bar just in time to see a biker being thrown out violently though the window. "I think I found him," Lance called out.

"Oh great," Mercer grumbled. "I don't know which of you lot is the most trouble! I swear!" He stormed into the bar. There was Shipwreck was taking on nearly the entire bar. 

"Hey! Shipwreck's in trouble!" Fred shouted.

"Let's get 'em!" Wanda charged into battle. The other kids yelled and followed suit. 

"Oh what the hell?" Mercer shrugged. "Come on guys! Let's get in a few hits before the cops arrive!" They joined the fight as well. It wasn't long before all the bikers were knocked out cold. 

"Hey that was fun!" Fred said cheerfully. "Let's do it again!" 

"What are you kids doing here?" Shipwreck snapped. 

"We followed you," Fred told him. "We wanted to go with you." 

"I thought you said you wouldn't run away!" Shipwreck snapped at Pietro. 

"I didn't run away," Pietro told him. "I followed you. If I were running away I would have run away from you guys. But I didn't. I tagged along for the ride. There's a difference." 

"Yeah as long as we're with you guys it's okay!" Fred said. 

"Oh well that's a wonderful piece of logic," Shipwreck groaned.

"Uh," Tauros heard the sound of sirens. "I think my friends it is time we leave. We have overstayed our welcome." 

"Yeah this town is a dump," Shipwreck shrugged. "I've had better bar fights." They went outside. "WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO ALL THE HOUSES?"

"Quicksilver," Lance pointed at Pietro. 

"Actually it's a nice touch," Red Dog said. 

"Come on let's move it!" They ran back to the vehicles. "Is Althea and Toad with you?"

"No they decided to stay behind so they could be alone," Wanda said.

"Oh well that's…WHAT?" Shipwreck yelled. "We gotta move out! Fast! I'm driving!" He jumped in. 

"Oh great," Mercer groaned. "So much for a nice quiet evening out!" 

**So what's happening back at the Slaughterhouse while the others are away? Stay tuned to find out! **


	29. Back at the Base

**What's going on at the Slaughterhouse? Dare we ask? **

**Back at the Base**

That same night back at the Slaughterhouse Sarge looked around. "Have you seen any of the Renegades Roadblock?"

"Not a hide or hair of them," Roadblock said, "Come to think of it, I haven't seen Shipwreck either." 

"They took off didn't they?" Sarge groaned.

"Yeah and some of the kids must have went with them," Roadblock sighed. "Should we go after them?"

"Are you crazy?" Sarge looked at them. "We need a break! Who's still here?" 

"Toad, Wavedancer, the Triplets and the baby," Roadblock said. "Of course Low Light and Cover Girl are here. And Spirit's here as well." 

"Yeah I saw him," Sarge said. "He's telling the girls stories and the baby is out like a light." 

"What's going on?" Cover Girl asked as she and Low Light entered the room. "Where is everyone?"

"They've gone AWOL except us saps," Roadblock sighed. "Where's Toad and Wavedancer?" 

"I dunno they're around here somewhere," Low Light sighed. "Uh oh!"

"Yeah uh oh," Realization hit Roadblock. They all got up. 

"They gotta be around here somewhere!" Low Light looked around. He tried a door and found it locked. "I think I found them!" He kicked down the door. "Oh for crying out loud!" 

There was Todd and Althea on the floor. Todd had one of Althea's nightgowns on over his pajamas. Althea was sitting on his lap with her arms around him. 

"What are you two doing?" Cover Girl yelped. 

"Truth or Dare?" Todd gulped. 

"Oh for crying out loud!" Roadblock groaned. "Take that thing off!" He yanked the nightgown off Todd. Todd yelped and covered himself before he realized he was still wearing clothes. "ALTHEA!" 

"Well it's not like we were naked or anything," Althea said. "We were only cuddling and snooching."

"You were what?" Roadblock's voice went higher.

"Snooching," Todd said. "I'll show you," They both rubbed noses together. "Just that!" 

"You mean Eskimo kissing," Cover Girl groaned.

"Yeah but we didn't like that name so we came up with snooching," Todd said. "I made it up myself." 

"I don't believe you two!" Roadblock snapped.

"Why?" Althea said. "We weren't doing anything wrong. Just showing some affection for each other. It's not like we…oh ran off base or anything!"

"Yeah!" Todd said. "We stayed on base like good little soldiers!" They tried to make innocent faces. 

"They do have a point," Cover Girl said.

"Whose side are you on?" Low Light snapped.

"Just wait until your father gets back," Roadblock said.

"If he isn't drunk," Althea pointed out. "Or arrested." 

"You know they really do have a lot of good points," Roadblock sighed. 

"So what do we do about this?" Low Light asked.

"Come on," Cover Girl said. "Let's you and I supervise those two. Sarge and Roadblock can handle the rest." 

"Oh yeah you in charge of them," Low Light grumbled. "That's real comforting considering your track record!"

"So I happen to have an active love life!" Cover Girl snapped. "At least I have one!"

"Will you two stop it now, before you get into a flaming row!" Roadblock snapped.

"Yeah you're supposed to be setting an example for us children," Todd said innocently. 

"Just watch them!" Roadblock groaned as he and Sarge left the room. "We'll be on the lookout for the others."

"Well what do you kids want to do?" Cover Girl asked.

"How about we play Truth or Dare?" Todd said.

"A G rated version of course," Althea said. 

"That doesn't sound too bad," Cover Girl said.

"We are not going to play Truth or Dare," Low Light said. "G rated version or not!"

Ten minutes later…

"Okay who goes first?" Low Light sighed as they sat on the floor. 

"Ooh! Ooh! I'll go!" Todd raised his hand.

"Fine," Low Light sighed wondering what sins he had committed in a previous life to deserve this. 

"Okay ummm…Althea!" Todd said. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare," Althea grinned. 

"I dare you to…" Todd thought. "Switch the candy hidden under Red Dog's bed with laxatives!"

"Easy," Althea ran to the bathroom and snuck upstairs. She came back down. "Done!" 

"You have an evil streak in you," Low Light said to Todd. "I like that." 

"Truth or dare?" Althea asked Cover Girl.

"Truth," Cover Girl said.

"Are you still dating Mr. McCoy?" Althea asked. 

"Hey!" Cover Girl snapped. "I thought these questions were G rated!"

"I only asked if you were still dating him," Althea said. "I didn't ask about your sex life!"

"That would be an NC-17 rating easy," Low Light chuckled. 

Cover Girl glared at him. "No," she admitted. "It was fun for a while, but it was never anything serious. Okay Low Light, truth or dare?" 

"Dare," Low Light grinned. 

"I dare you to go the Sarge, say 'I love you man' and hug him" Cover Girl smirked. 

"Are you nuts?" Low Light bristled. "What happens if I don't?"

"Then we get to do something humiliating to you," Todd grinned.

"Fine!" Low Light stomped away, knowing how demented they were. The others followed. He took a deep breath as he entered the living room. 

"What is it Low Light?" Sarge asked. He and Roadblock were sitting down. 

"I love you man!" Low Light grabbed him in a huge bear hug. He then ran away as fast as he could.

"Roadblock," Sarge asked in a stunned voice. "Low Light doesn't drink does he?"

"He didn't until he joined this outfit," Roadblock said. 

"HA!" Low Light said when he got back. "Okay! My turn sister! And boy have I got a good one for you!"

"Then I take your dare!" Cover Girl smirked. "Bring it on!" 

Five minutes later Cover Girl came out to the living room with some pom poms. She stood in front of Roadblock and Sarge. "GIVE ME A J! GIVE ME AN O! GIVE ME AN E! YO JOE! YO JOE! WHOOPIE!" She danced around waving them. Then she gave each of them a peck on the cheek and ran back out. 

"Okay what was that?" Roadblock asked. 

"I dunno," Sarge said. "But I'll take that over Low Light every day." 

Low Light came out and knelt down behind the couch. Out came a sock puppet. "_We represent the Lollypop Guild! The Lollypop Guild! The Lollypop Guild! We represent the Lollypop Guild! We wish to welcome you to Munchkin Land!" _He sang in a funny voice. 

Spirit walked in the middle of the song. He looked extremely puzzled as he watched the spectacle. Low Light ran out again. He stared at Roadblock and Sarge. They gave him equally blank looks. Then Cover Girl ran out with a blanket around her neck proclaiming she was Superwoman. She climbed the sofa and a few tables and ran back out.

"Okay what the hell was that?" Spirit asked.

"I don't know," Roadblock said. "But I can't wait to see how they're gonna top that one." 

Low Light came out next. He spent the next several minutes making shadow puppets as well as animal noises. Not long after he left Cover Girl came out with a feather boa and sang 'Let Me Entertain You.' The three men watched both performances with stunned looks. 

"I tell you nothing beats live entertainment," Roadblock said. 

"I'll go make some popcorn," Spirit walked into the kitchen. 

"I don't know what they're on but I want some," Sarge said. 

A noise outside got their attention. "That will be them!" Sarge sighed. "Do you want to read them the riot act?"

"Let's see how sober the majority of them are," Sarge sighed. 

Pietro ran in first. "Hi!" He said cheerfully. "We had fun! They took us into town where we got snacks!"

"Pietro painted the town," Wanda said. "Literally." 

"And we got into a bar fight," Fred said.

"And Wanda and Tauros totally trashed a kiddy ride!" Lance said. 

"All in all a dull evening?" Sarge said sarcastically. "Okay who's sober?"

"We all are," Mercer groaned. "Unfortunately. Those kids wore us out before we could do anything!" 

"Do I take it the town is still standing?" Roadblock asked.

"Barely," Mercer groaned. "Don't ask. Let's just say we may not ever go back there again. And it wasn't all the kid's fault." 

"I figured as much," Roadblock groaned. 

Then Low Light and Cover Girl came out with makeshift grass skirts. "_Aloha oe!" _ They started to sing and hula dance. _"Aloha oe…" _

"It's official," Mercer groaned as they performed. "The kids have driven us all crazy!" 

"And you were asking if **we** were sober?" Shipwreck asked Sarge. 

"I have a plan. If the cops show up here we never saw any of these people before in our lives," Sarge grumbled. 

**Next up: Time for some action! Cobra attacks! Again! **


	30. Time to Kick Cobra Butt!

**Time To Kick Cobra Butt! **

A few days and several training sessions after the incident the kids found themselves with a rare moment of relaxation. That was because nearly all the adults needed to have an aspirin break. At least they claimed it was aspirin. Todd and Fred were playing cards. Lance was relaxing in a hammock with baby Claudius on his stomach. Althea was fixing up a jeep and the Triplets were tormenting the twins. 

"Althea call them off!" Pietro whined as Quinn and Brittany hung onto him. 

"He's mine!" Quinn shouted, tugging Pietro's arm in one direction.

"No mine!" Brittany shouted, tugging his other arm in the other direction. 

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"What is this? What do I look like a wishbone?" Pietro snapped. 

Meanwhile Wanda was wrestling with Daria. "BRAIN!" Wanda hissed.

"BRAT!" Daria hissed back.

"Brain!" 

"Brat!" 

"Brain!" 

"Will you knock it off?" Althea sighed. "You're gonna hurt her you know!"

"I'm trying not to!" Wanda snapped. "Why I have no idea." 

"Actually I was talking to Daria," Althea said. 

"OW!" Wanda yelled when Daria bit her on the arm.

"Told you," Althea sighed. 

"She bit me!" Wanda snapped.

"Not that hard!" Daria stuck out her tongue. "I didn't even break the skin!" 

"Well bite her back!" Althea got up from the jeep. "She's only doing it because she's jealous of you!"

"Am not!" Daria squirmed, trying to escape the headlock Wanda put her in. 

"You are too," Quinn said. "She doesn't like it when Dad pays attention to Wanda. She wants to be Daddy's favorite! She always did."

"That's a lie!" Daria screamed as Althea grabbed her legs. 

"Here," Althea held her at one end. "I'll help you dunk her in the water trough over there." 

"NO! NO! NO!" Daria screamed. 

"Well that's what you get for biting people," Wanda said laughing an evil laugh. 

"I'M TELLING!" Daria struggled. 

"Go ahead," Althea said. "Dad will dunk you in himself!" 

"Daria's always been very possessive," Quinn said. 

"But we're not that way," Brittany hugged a struggling Pietro. "HE'S MINE!"

"NO HE'S MINE!" 

"Will one of you get off your butts and help me here?" Pietro whined.

"Actually Quickie we're kind of busy here," Todd looked at his cards. 

"Yeah this is a game of intense concentration," Fred told him. "Got any threes?"

"Go fish," Todd said.

_"A dunking we will go!"_ Both Wanda and Althea sang out as they carried Daria off by her feet and hands. _"A dunking we will go! Hi ho the merry oh a dunking we will go!" _

"Your sisters are all crazy aren't they?" Lance gently tickled Claudius. "Huh? They're all nuts!" 

"You actually like the drool machine?" Pietro asked as he struggled to free himself from the girl's clutches.

"He is not a drool machine!" Todd defended.

"Yes he is!" The triplets all said. 

"He ain't so bad," Lance played with him. 

"He smells!" Pietro snapped.

"So does Toad but we got used to him," Lance replied. 

"HEY!" Todd snapped. "I don't smell that bad anymore!" 

"Not since you started bathing," Quinn said. 

"Gee I wonder why?" Brittany snickered. 

"OOOOH!" Everyone made cooing noises.

"Hey at least we have a relationship which is more than the rest of you can say!" Althea snapped. 

"What about me and Kitty?" Lance said hotly.

"Oh no," Fred groaned. "Not this again!"

"Please God I can't take anymore!" Todd groaned.

"Lance something tells me that…" Pietro started to say something when he saw something in the distance. "Are we expecting company?"

"Not that I know of," Althea said, dropping her sister.

There was a sound of gunfire coming from inside the house. "GET INSIDE!" Low Light shouted from where he was stationed as lookout. "COBRA TROOPS! FIFTY OF 'EM!"

"Oh man!" Fred gasped as the blue clad troopers emerged. "Where did they come from?" 

"What the heck?" Althea dove for cover as a laser beam blasted from one of the trooper's eyes. "Quicksilver! Get the baby inside!" 

"Gotcha!" Pietro grabbed Claudius and ran in. He ran back out a minute later. Suddenly he was lifted into air. "What's going on? Get me down!"

"They're mutants!" Wanda shouted shooting out her hexbolts. Immediately Pietro dropped to the ground. 

"Time to Rock and Roll!" Lance sent out a tremor at some of them, scattering the troops. 

Three of the troopers shot out spikes from their bodies and aimed it at him. Todd managed to knock him out of the way. "That was close yo!"

"Spikes?" Lance looked at them. "These guys have the same powers as the X-Men!" 

"Wonderful!" Fred grumbled as he fought some of them off. They seemed to have super strength. 

The Joes and the Renegades ran out, blasting their lasers at them. "Quicksilver!" Roadblock shouted as he shot. "Make a whirlwind! Now!" 

"YEEEEHAAAAA!" Pietro made a whirlwind and captured several troopers in it. To his surprise they splattered all over the place. "WHAT THE…?" 

"Ewww," Fred groaned. "I got people guts all over me!"

"Since when are people guts gray?" Todd looked around. 

"Hey these aren't people at all!" Lance exclaimed, looking at the mess.

"Yuck!" Pietro wiped the mess of his uniform. "What were those things?"

"Synthoids," Althea told him. "Artificial people."

"In this case artificial mutants," Roadblock said. "Well now we know what Cobra did with the X-Men's DNA!" 

"Yeah well here comes more of them!" Todd yelled as they dodged more lasers and spikes. 

"Then we…" Sarge started to say when he was surprised by two troopers appearing out of nowhere in a puff of smoke. He was ready to fight when all of the sudden they exploded instantly. "They're unstable! They can't handle their powers!" 

"And they ain't real people so…" Fred punched one hard. It turned into a ball of gray goop. 

Lance shot out some tremors that made more explode. Wanda's hexbolts caused some to turn their powers on each other. Todd, Fred and Althea used their fighting techniques to destroy some. The Triplets powered up and used their psychic attacks on them. Pietro made another whirlwind. The Joes used their weapons to blow them up. Soon they were all destroyed. 

"What a mess!" Wanda grumbled. 

"We beat 'em!" Fred crowed. "How come we can never beat the real X-Geeks like that?"

"Well for starters we never used laser cannons on them before," Lance quipped. 

"And the X-Geeks don't explode instantly if you hit them," Todd said. "I wish they did…" 

"And the fact that most synthoids can't think for themselves," Althea said. "Someone usually has to direct their attacks or program their behavior." 

"Cobra's found us," Shipwreck glared as he looked around. "How I have no idea!" 

"All right," Sarge ordered. "Renegades I want you three to take up the perimeter. From now on we are going to post a watch. Somehow our base has been compromised."

"Yeah," Shipwreck growled. "Three guesses what they're after."

The kids looked at each other. They knew they were no longer completely safe. "Do you want us to do anything Sarge?" Lance asked.

"Just keep your eyes open," Sarge growled. "Those snakes are around here somewhere." 

Far in the distance a lone figure watched the battle through his binoculars. "Cobra Commander is not going to be happy about this," Dr. Mindbender grumbled. 


	31. Chillin' With The Villians

**Chillin' With the Villains**

_When Zartan told me I'd have power, I had no idea how much,_ Mystique thought as she watched the Congressman on the screen. In her disguise as Cobra Commander she had been making calls to several congressmen and lawyers. People who had many secret dealings with Cobra. 

She delighted in seeing Congressman Hackle squirming in his seat. "But you told me months ago that when the Mutant Registration Bill came up to vote yes on it!"

"I know what I told you," Mystique hissed. "I've changed my mind. You are to vote against the Mutant Registration Bill."

"But what about my supporters?" Congressman Hackle asked. "My constituents won't be happy!"

"How happy do you think they'll be when they find out you've been using their tax dollars to fund your own personal harem in the Caribbean?" Mystique was enjoying herself. "Not to mention helping Cobra out every now and then."

"You have a point," Hackle gulped. "All right. I just hope you know what you're doing."

"Don't worry. I know exactly what I'm doing," Mystique said. "Cobra Commander out." She shut off the videophone. "That was the last one."

"I swear you get better each time," Zartan chuckled as he emerged from the shadows.

"I have impersonated several people in my time but I must admit that being the head of Cobra is the most fun I have had in ages," Mystique said. A chime told her that someone was at the office door. "What is it now?"

"Dr. Mindbender sir," The guard's voice at the door said.

"Probably here to tell us about the test on the Brotherhood," Mystique said. "Show him in."

Mindbender came in with a tape. "Mindbender welcome," Mystique said, deciding to go with the benevolent Cobra Commander. "So how successful was the test?" 

"Sir I regret to inform you that our test on the latest batch of synthoid mutants has failed," Dr. Mindbender bowed. "I believe this was due to the instability of the formula. In fact we couldn't even transfer some of the X-Men's powers to them, such as the ones called Shadowcat and Rogue. Given more time we can create a more…"

"WHAT?" Mystique slammed her fist on the table. "Never mind your excuses! I want to see the footage!"

"Right away Cobra Commander," Mindbender set it up on the monitor. "This was taken using one of our insect spycams." 

Mystique could not believe what she witnessed on the monitor. "HOW COULD THOSE IDIOTS BEAT THEM?" She bellowed. "THEY COULDN'T EVEN BEAT THE REAL X-MEN! HOW…." 

"Commander…" Zartan's voice was carrying a warning. 

Mystique got herself under control. "Obviously the formula was unstable! How long do you think it would take to create a more permanent formula for the synthoids?"

"Do want my honest opinion?" Mindbender asked.

"No Doctor I want you to lie to me!" Mystique snapped. 

"If I need to create a permanent, more stable mutated synthoid. One that will not easily destroy under any damage…I will need at least two more years." 

"TWO YEARS?" She growled. 

"We are working as fast as we can!" Mindbender pleaded. "But even with our technology there are limits! The components we need just haven't been created yet! With more men and resources I…"

"GET OUT!" Mystique threw a cup at Mindbender. He ran out of the room quickly.

One of his assistants was waiting on the other side of the door. "I take it he was not happy?" He said.

"Actually," Mindbender sighed. "He took it a lot better than I expected. At least he didn't try to shoot me this time!" 

Back in the office Mystique returned to her natural state. "AAGGGGH!" She screamed. "I can't believe this!"

"Calm down dearest," Zartan went up to her. "It's just a minor setback. That's all."

"That's all?" She snapped. "That's all? I need an army Zartan! We need an army if mutants are ever going to rule the earth and ensure the survival of our species!"

"And we will get one," Zartan walked behind her and held her shoulders. "In time."

"Time? Who has time? Sure we may have sunk the Mutant Registration Bill for now, but how long? There's no way those sniveling cowards Cobra's backed are going to stay in office much longer after that bill falls through. And they will revive it again, I know they will! You know they will!" 

"Calm down. Let's do a review shall we?" Zartan said. "On the positive side today we have nearly single handedly stalled the Mutant Registration bill so that it will not get to the Senate."

"For now!" Mystique snapped. "There's no telling when those bigots will try to pass it again!" 

"Focus," Zartan rubbed her shoulders. "The important thing is we stalled them and bought us more time. During this time we can work on breeding and recruiting real mutants. And we can still have the good doctor work on his synthoid army on the side. What's two years in the grand scheme of things? Besides, Mindbender works extremely well under pressure. With a little bit of it correctly applied, we may have that army yet in little more than a year. So it's not a loss cause."

"You're right," Mystique sighed. "I had no idea how difficult it was running Cobra."

"Yes I have to admit, the real Cobra Commander may not be the greatest military strategist, but when it comes to organizing and implementing new projects, he does have that talent," Zartan sighed. 

"Have you gotten any more information out of him?" She asked.

"No," Zartan grumbled. "The bastard's more resistant to the truth serums than I thought. And regular methods of torture are too risky. He's infamous for setting traps within traps. He'll give us information, but just enough to hang ourselves with. Don't worry. Soon enough we will have all the information we need and then we can dispose of him."

"Well at least that's some news," Mystique sighed as he massaged her back. 

"I have more news. I just got word that that our soldiers have now not only successfully infiltrated that Wyoming FOH militia group but they have already eliminated most of the humans responsible for the deaths of those mutants. Not to mention destabilizing that cell. I'm told that the leader is quite jealous of his second in command and now believes that he is sleeping with his wife for some reason."

"Oh really?" Mystique purred under Zartan's administrations. "Is it true?"

"He thinks so. Anyway I wouldn't be surprised if it ends rather messy. Wouldn't you say?" 

"Hmmm," Mystique grinned as Zartan kissed her neck. 

"Plans are in place for the final steps of Destro's latest creation. Some kind of laser that will help us take over the world. I really didn't get many details but things are going smoothly. So the only little hitch today was the failed synthoid experiment." 

"Yes well perhaps that was rather far fetched," She sighed. "I'm afraid we are going to need real mutants to help us take over the planet." 

"That may be the first intelligent decision you've made since you started this," The door opened, revealing the shadow of a woman. 

"HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?" Mystique roared as she changed back to Cobra Commander. 

"Don't bother," She waved. "I know you're not that egotistical loon. Oh it was quite easy to knock your guards out and find directions to your main chamber," She smiled. "Their minds were like open books. Well in the case of your Dreadnoks Zartan more like coloring books." 

"You're a telepath," Mystique frowned as she reverted to her original form. "Who are you? What do you want?" 

"Don't worry Mystique," The woman said. "I have no intention of exposing you. To be honest, I'm quite impressed with your work."

"Who are you?" Zartan asked. 

"My name is Emma Frost," She smiled. "And I think we might be able to do some business." 


	32. Nocturnal Fissions

**Nocturnal Fissions**

Lance had kept his word to Spirit. He didn't complain. No matter how hard the training was, no matter how much KP or latrine duty he did he kept his mouth shut. The way he saw it the busier he was the less time he had to dwell on Kitty. 

_Kitty…_No matter how hard he tried to forget her, he couldn't. Her face haunted him every night. His longing for her tormented him. In his dreams he reached out for her, yearning to hold her into his arms. But she was always beyond his reach. 

Sometimes his mind drifted into fantasy, he dreamed that he would come back to her. He would march right up the X-Mansion dressed in a full military uniform. Then Kitty would run out the door and into his arm…

_Maybe, maybe if I prove myself Kitty will want to be with me again! _He thought as he finished cleaning the kitchen. 

"Lance?" Pietro tapped his foot impatiently. "Lance did you hear me? Are you listening?"

"Huh?" Lance returned to the real world. "Sorry, I was kind of zoning out there."

"Still daydreaming about Kitty?" Pietro snickered. "Man you are pathetic!"

"So what if I was?" Lance snapped. 

"You are so dumb you make Blob look like he has a PHD!" Pietro laughed. "What? Do you really think that she'll ever want to talk to you again? That all you have to do is call her name and she'll come back to you?"

"Here Kitty," Todd snickered. "Here Kitty, Kitty!"

"Shut up!" Lance snapped. "I told you never to do that again!"

"HERE KITTY, KITTY!" Todd, Pietro and Fred called out laughing. 

"Knock it off you bozos!" Lance shouted, his anger triggering off some good tremors. 

"Here, Kitty! Kitty!" The boys laughed as they ran out side.

"COME BACK HERE!" Lance screamed as he chased them, causing tremors all over the place. He shot out a seismic wave at them, cracking the earth. He made them scatter. He also made a huge hole in the ground that swallowed one of the jeeps.

"AVALANCHE!" Sarge shouted.

"Uh oh," Todd snickered. "Somebody's gonna get it!" 

"Shut up!" Lance snapped.

"Alvers!" Sarge shouted. "All of you! Atten-Hut!" They all stood at attention. "What in blue blazes do you think you're doing? Look what you did! You wrecked the jeep! The jeep is gone! What were you doing using your powers like that?"

"It wasn't my fault sir!" Lance said. "They were…"

"I don't care what they were doing!" Sarge snapped. "You know better than that! Or you're supposed to know better than that! Fifty laps now! Move it mister!" Lance took off. "As for the three of you, you jokers are gonna get that jeep outta that hole! Now!"

"Uh how are we gonna do that Sarge?" Fred scratched his head.

"That's your problem," Sarge growled. 

After Lance was finished with his laps and later KP duty after dinner, Sarge called him outside to have a little talk with Spirit. "I can't believe you were so reckless!" Spirit told him.

"I'm sorry," Lance apologized. "But they were razzing me and…"

"And you lost your temper," Spirit folded his arms. 

"I didn't mean to," Lance said.

"You never mean too!" Sarge snapped. "That's what keeps getting you into trouble! You're supposed to be smarter than that Avalanche." 

"I think you still need to work on your anger management," Spirit said. 

"I think a bit of fixing up the damage you've done will teach you a lesson," Sarge folded his arms. 

"Tomorrow I want you to clean this up," Spirit told him. "Understand?" 

"Yes sir," Lance hung his head down. 

"You're dismissed," Sarge pointed his thumb inside. Lance dejectedly went inside.

Spirit sighed "I really thought we were making progress with that boy." 

"He's got one bad temper," Sarge groaned. "I mean I've had recruits that couldn't control themselves before, but nothing like this! I mean how can you stop someone who can literally make holes in the ground?" 

"I know he tries but for some reason he just can't control himself. I just don't know what I'm going to do with him," Spirit sighed. 

Lance hung around the corner listening. He couldn't take anymore. He went upstairs ashamed. He ignored the other boy's chatter and went to his bed. Lance lay down on the bed and closed his eyes. All he really wanted right then was to make Spirit proud of him. That was the last thought he had as he drifted off to sleep. 

************************************************************************

It was Todd that first realized something wasn't right. He thought he heard a noise. He sat up and looked around. Lately his eyes had become more accustomed to seeing things in the dark. That's when he noticed Lance was missing from his bed. He hopped out and went out of the room. Immediately that was when he saw something that made his jaw drop. 

He ran back to the room and shook the other boys. "Guys wake up! Lance has gone nuts yo!" 

"What?" Pietro yawned. "What's he doing?"

"Come on you gotta see this to believe it!" Todd dragged him down the hall. Fred followed. They found Lance wearing only his boxers and white sleeveless T-shirt. His hands were on the walls, and the walls were eroding quickly. 

"What is he doing?" Todd yelped. "Holy cow he's melting the walls with his hands yo!" 

"No he's reshaping the rock!" Pietro said. "Look this is the part of the base that's carved into a mountain! We gotta get help! We gotta wake up the adults." 

"We're already awake!" Shipwreck called out as he, Spirit, Roadblock and Sarge ran up. "What's going on?" 

"Lance has gone nuts yo!" Todd pointed. "Look what he's doing!" 

"He's made another room outta the wall!" Roadblock gasped as he saw Lance's work. "AVALANCE! STOP IT!" 

He continued. "He ain't listening yo!" Todd said.

"I don't think he can hear you," Spirit said. "Look, he appears to be in some sort of trance."

"I'll stop him," Todd got ready to attack. 

"NO!" Spirit said. "We can't attack him! He's unconscious. I don't even think he even knows he's doing this!"

"You mean he's sleepwalking?" Todd asked. 

"Or in this case sleep terra-forming," Roadblock said. 

"Terra what?" Fred asked.

"He's changing the mountain," Pietro explained.

"But Lance could never use his powers like that before!" Fred said.

"Lance didn't have that drug in his system before," Roadblock said. 

"And we never had an extra room before," Sarge watched as Lance sculpted out a huge cavernous room where the wall was. He then carved another room adjoining it. "Well that's one way of getting the place redecorated." 

When Lance had finished he simply turned around and started to walk downstairs. 

"Where's he going?" Shipwreck asked. 

"I have a feeling we don't have long to wait," Roadblock grumbled. "We'd better not hesitate!" 

They followed Lance outside. He was standing in the middle of the backyard. Suddenly the entire earth shook. "He's causing an earthquake!" Pietro yelled.

"No look!" Spirit gasped as he pointed nearby. The ground opened up not in the shape of a crack but a large singular hole that grew rapidly. 

"What's going on?" Cover Girl ran out. 

"Keep the rest of the kids inside!" Shipwreck ordered. "Hey look! That hole! It's filling up with water!"

"Man he must have tapped into an underground spring," Roadblock said. "And he's still doing his thing!" 

Lance stood there with his arms stretched out, moving in a strange rhythm, like a conductor to an inaudible symphony. Spires of rocks shot out of the earth all around twisting and turning into strange shapes. The nearby canyon wall grew higher and higher. 

The Renegades ran up. "What is he doing?" Tauros cried out.

"He's changing the landscape," Sarge said. "And if we don't do something fast we're all gonna be part of it!"

"I don't think so," Spirit pointed. "Notice how the house is not shaking as much. He seems to be directing his energy somehow."

"Well we can't take that chance," Mercer pulled out his weapon. "I hate to do this, but…"

"No!" Todd tried to grab the weapon. "Don't kill him yo!"

"I ain't gonna kill him!" Mercer said. "This laser's set on stun. He'll have a headache but he'll be okay!"

"Mercer no!" Spirit shouted. 

Too late, Mercer fired. However as soon as he did a huge wall of earth rose up between Lance and the shot, blocking it just in time. Then the wall turned into a huge tidal wave which headed straight for Mercer. 

Pietro managed to knock Mercer out of the way just in time. "Great idea!" Pietro snapped. 

"Well I don't see you doing anything!" Mercer snapped.

"What about using Wanda's powers to stop him?" Roadblock asked.

"Too risky," Spirit said. "Her powers might cause more damage than his."

"We gotta wake him up!" Todd said. "I got an idea! Pietro I need a ride!" He hopped on Pietro's back.

"What am I a taxi?" Pietro snapped. "Whoa!" He ran as another wave of earth rose up. 

"We gotta get close to him," Todd hung on for dear life. 

"Gotcha," Pietro nodded. "You hold him down, I'll wake him up!" Which proved easier said than done. Lance sent out earth waves and earth spires from the ground as Pietro ran.

Finally they managed to get close enough. Todd grabbed him from behind. "Lance wake up yo!" Todd shouted.

Lance let out a scream that set of a huge shock wave. Pietro was flung backwards. Todd hung on for dear life. 

"This is not good!" Shipwreck shouted as the ground shook violently. 

"LANCE STOP IT!" Todd shouted. Suddenly a strange glow illuminated both of them. "Just stop it! Please just stop it!"

The glow faded and Lance collapsed on the ground. The trembling stopped. Todd held Lance in his arms. "Lance?" Todd said weakly. "He's out cold." 

"Is everybody okay?" Sarge asked.

"We're all fine," Roadblock sighed. 

"Look at this place!" Mercer gulped. Indeed there was now a huge swimming pool as well as several decorative spires and rock formations. "Is it me or do even the canyon walls look taller?"

"No they are taller," Sarge gulped. "I think the kid increased the base's natural defenses as well as giving us a pool and a couple extra rooms."

"Extra rooms?" Red Dog gulped. "What kind of power does this kid have?" 

"A very dangerous one if misused," Spirit told him. 

"I think we should call Psyche up and send him the data via fax," Roadblock said. "Maybe he and the docs can make sense out of what happened." 

Soon when the kids were settled back into bed, most of the adults were talking to Psyche-Out via the communications monitor. "What do you think happened?" Sarge asked. "I've never seen anything like it!"

"Hmmm," Psyche Out frowned. "Did any of you say anything to him last night? Anything at all?" 

"Well there was an incident," Sarge sighed. "He lost his temper and made a mess out back earlier on. We chewed him out a little." 

"I told him he had to clean up the back yard due to the mess he made," Spirit said. 

"And I said he had to help fix up the place," Sarge said. 

"Hmmm," Psyche Out fingered his chin. "Maybe…it's possible."

"What?" Shipwreck asked. 

"I think some kind of reaction occurred in his subconscious," Psyche-Out said. "That would account for his sleepwalking." 

"How did it start?" Roadblock asked. 

"He wanted to make up for what he had done," Psyche-Out said. 

"So you're saying he wanted to fix the mess he made my making another mess?" Sarge asked.

"Well it's technically not a mess based on the pictures you sent me," Psyche-Out said. "That hole has been changed into a pool and those rock spires are nice. You wanted the back yard fixed up, well you got it." 

"You mean he did this to please us?" Sarge's jaw dropped.

"In his subconscious, yes," Psyche-Out nodded. "You are the first people to really reach out to the boy. Spirit you represent a strong father figure, something Avalanche has never had before. And all the rest of you have become like surrogate uncles or some other authority figure he respects. He has never had any respect for an authority figure before so this confuses him. Of course he would never really like to admit it, he's much too proud. So he represses his desire to please you as much as he can. But somehow his craving for your approval must have manifested in his powers last night."

"Are you saying he did this because he wanted some attention?" Shipwreck asked.

"And affection," Psyche Out told him. "It's just a theory, but it is possible." 

"Funny way of showing it," Shipwreck scratched his head.

"He doesn't really know how to express himself," Psyche-Out said. "He has trouble with it. It's not uncommon among young people." 

"Yeah well this is pretty uncommon to me!" Sarge groaned. "Is he gonna do this again?"

"I don't know," Psyche Out said carefully. "Depends on his state of mind really."

"Well that makes me feel **so** much better," Shipwreck groaned. 

"There's one thing that puzzles me," Sarge scratched his chin. "How did Toad manage to make him stop?"

"Probably yelled loud enough for him to hear," Shipwreck covered. 

"Maybe the stone had something to do with it?" Fred piped up from his hiding place. 

"Shut up!" Pietro hissed. 

"WHAT?" Roadblock yelled. "Okay who's hiding back there?"

Fred and Pietro sheepishly came out. "Just us," Pietro said. "Nice going Blob!" 

"Nobody else?" Shipwreck asked.

"No just us," Fred said. 

"I thought we all agreed we weren't going to talk about the…you know what?" Shipwreck snapped.

"What?" Sarge looked around. "What am I missing here?" 

"You mean not all the Joes know?" Fred asked.

"Know what?" Cover Girl asked. 

"I think we'd better tell them," Shipwreck sighed.

"Great there are enough people who know about this!" Roadblock groaned.

"Know what?" Low Light asked. 

"Okay the Renegades aren't here right?" Shipwreck looked around. "This doesn't go any further than us. Got it? You tell them while I take these two back to bed. Come on swabbies." They left the room. 

"Why do I have the feeling this is not good?" Low Light asked.

"Well it's not that bad," Roadblock sighed. "Yet." He then proceeded to tell them about the Destiny Stone inside Toad. (Only the one inside Toad.) 

"So let me see if I got this straight," Low Light said when Roadblock had finished. "Not only do we have all the kids with their mutant powers and now Avalanche has some kind of power to change the landscape around…There's this thing inside Toad that's got mystical powers? Wonderful!" 

"You can see why we're a bit reluctant to bring it up," Roadblock said. "He can't know yet, he's too young to handle it!"

"He's too young?" Sarge snapped. "I'm not sure I'm old enough to handle it! Psyche don't take this the wrong way, but when is that new home on the base going to be ready?"

"Still have at least a month to go Sarge," Psyche-Out said. "Obviously we need to increase his training. Not to mention some more alone time with Spirit."

"I can instruct him on meditation and other things," Spirit said. "He needs to spend some time a day away from the others."

"Well I'll try to get down there in a few days or so," Psyche-Out scratched his head.

"Look right now we all need our rest," Roadblock said. "It think that's best. We'll handle it in the morning." 

"Fine," Sarge sighed. "I know I like a challenge but this is ridiculous!"

"We have to help them," Spirit said.

"I know. I know," Sarge groaned. "Can you imagine what would happen if the wrong people got a hold of these kids and turned them into living weapons?"

"I try not to dwell on it," Spirit said. 

"Yeah," Sarge groaned. "Hey Psyche, try to hurry huh? The way things are going it won't only be the kids who are gonna need your help!" 


	33. Heart to Hearts

**Heart to Hearts**

The rays of morning light filtered through the window and hit Lance in the eyes. Slowly he responded to them. After a few seconds of half blissful awakenings he realized something was amiss. He opened his eyes further. It was then that he noticed that he was alone in the barracks room. "Where'd the others go?" He scratched his head. He looked at the clock. "Oh man! I overslept! The Sarge is gonna kill me!" 

He quickly got up and changed into his clothes and ran downstairs. He saw Sarge and Shipwreck sitting there calmly drinking coffee. "Well it's looks like Sleeping Beauty is finally awake," Shipwreck quipped.

"Sorry! Sorry!" Lance gulped. "I didn't mean to…wait a minute…Don't you guys always wake us up at 6?"

"Yeah we do," Sarge said. "But since you had a busy night last night we thought we'd let you sleep in."

"What are you talking about?" Lance scratched his head. 

"You don't remember nothin'?" Shipwreck asked.

"No the last thing I remember was going to sleep," Lance shrugged. 

"Well that's not totally unexpected," Sarge said. He and Shipwreck got up. "Come on kid, let's take a walk."

"Uh okay," Lance had a feeling that this was not good. "Where are all the others?" 

"They're out training," Shipwreck told him. "Spirit's giving them all a little survival lecture. Don't worry. He's going to give you your lessons personally later. Follow us. We wanna show you something."

"Notice anything different?" Sarge asked as they walked down the hall. 

"No I…" Lance then noticed a huge open cavern. "Uh, didn't there used to be a wall here?" He blinked.

"Yeah," Shipwreck said. "You made couple of rooms out to the mountain."

"Well look at the bright side," Sarge said. "Now we have a new place to put in a pool table." 

"I did this?" Lance's jaw dropped. 

"That's not all you did," Shipwreck told him. "Come on out back."

With a feeling of dread Lance followed. They went outside. "Is that a pool?" Lance gasped.

"Yeah apparently you found some kind of water spring last night and carved us up a place to swim," Sarge told him. 

"What's with all the rock formations?" Lance looked around. "Did I do this too?"

"Yup," Shipwreck told him. 

"I'll tell you one thing kid," Sgt. Slaughter whistled. "It takes a lot to impress me. I'd say this counts." 

"I…I didn't…" Lance gasped. He looked at them. "You guys gotta believe me I didn't know! Honest! I didn't mean to do this! I just…"

"Yeah," Sarge said. "We kind of figured that. It seems you now move mountains in your sleep as well. Literally."

"How?" Lance staggered.

"Psyche Out thinks that this was a subconscious action," Sarge shrugged. 

"Are you saying I did this in my sleep?" Lance blinked.

"Yeah pay attention will ya?" Shipwreck sighed. "According to him this is your way of trying to solve your problems in your sleep. To put it simply, you didn't want us to be mad at you any more so you wanted to make up for it. Somehow in your brain you thought by doing stuff for us it would make us love you or something."

"That's nuts!" Lance protested. "I mean…I…I…" He looked around. He was stunned. 

"Let's see you put in a pool and gave us more room," Sarge chuckled. "I'd say that was a cry for attention." 

"Look we're not mad at you for last night," Shipwreck told him. "Obviously there are aspects of your powers that are beyond your control right now. You just need to be aware of your feelings and be a little more careful."

"You think I'm crazy don't you?" Lance asked.

"Oh boy kid you are asking the wrong people to judge your sanity," Sarge laughed. 

Lance looked nervous. "You're not going to send me away are you?" He asked.

"Of course not," Shipwreck waved. "We're just going to have to work on some things. Like that temper of yours. Psyche says that you need some new therapy. Like positive reinforcement. Come here!" He grabbed Lance and hugged him.

"Uh…Shipwreck?" Lance blinked. 

"Come here and let Uncle Shipwreck love you!" Shipwreck said in a silly voice. "We love you! Yes we do! Yes we do!" 

"I told you we were the wrong people to ask about sanity," Sarge groaned. "Kid maybe you better wait in my office until Spirit comes back. It's safer." 

Lance quickly disentangled himself from Shipwreck and ran inside. Inside Sarge's office was a chair, a desk and a long couch. Lance sat on the couch and put his head in his hands, trying to fathom the latest turn in his life. 

He didn't have to wait long. Soon Spirit walked in. "I see they've told you," He said.

Lance felt even more ashamed. "I'm sorry," He said. "I didn't mean it! I swear!" 

"I know," Spirit motioned him to sit down on the couch. 

Lance obeyed. "I really don't mean to screw things up. I just lose control sometimes. I know you don't think I listen to you but I do!"

"What makes you think that?" Spirit asked.

"I heard you talking to the Sarge," Lance told him. 

"I see," Spirit said. "I guess you're not the only one who loses control sometimes. I get frustrated too. It's not easy when someone you care about keeps hurting themselves."

"Hurting?"

"When you act destructively with your powers it isn't helpful to you is it?" 

"No," Lance admitted. "You really care about me?"

"We all care about you Lance," Spirit told him. "Did you really think we would just abandon you because things are a little rough?"

"Well it's not like it hasn't happened before."

"It won't happen this time," Spirit put his hand on his shoulder. "I promise."

"And I promise I'll work harder on controlling my temper," Lance said. "I've been thinking a lot about what you guys have been telling me. I don't want my powers to get out of control anymore. Maybe I do need more help." 

"That's not all you've been thinking about have you?" Spirit asked.

"No," Lance admitted. 

"Kitty?" 

"Yeah," Lance sighed. "I just can't get her out of my head. I know we said some pretty harsh stuff to each other but...I still want to be with her. Actually I think she's angrier than I am. Why did it all have to get screwed up? Man we didn't even fight about normal stuff like other couples. I'm trying to think if we ever had a normal conversation that didn't involve our teams' rivalry or Magneto or Xavier or humans attacking us or interdimensional dinosaurs…" 

Spirit raised an eyebrow. Lance noticed it. "It's a long story," He sighed. 

"I can imagine," Spirit said. 

"Do you think I should call her or something?" Lance asked.

"I think you should let her know how you feel if you still care for her," Spirit said. "Perhaps if you wrote to her…" 

"You think she'd read it?" Lance asked. "I don't know. So much has happened, maybe it is best if I just stay away." 

"You have to answer that question yourself, young one," Spirit told him. "Right now I think you should rest." 

"I really don't want to face them right now," Lance motioned to the outside, indicating the others. "I don't think I can take them hassling me right now." 

"That's understandable. We had a little talk with them so I don't think you'll have too many more problems with them teasing you on this."

"Yeah right. You don't know them like I do."

"They don't really mean to be hurtful you know."

"I know. They just act like little kids sometimes. They enjoy annoying me." 

"They see you as their older brother. Of course they'll do that. Just like sometimes you annoy them?" 

"You got me there," Lance sighed. 

"Just try not to let them antagonize you too much," Spirit told him. "You can stay here until lunch if you like. Afterwards you and I are going to do some exercises to help you control your emotions."

"I'd like that," Lance said. "Thanks Spirit." 

Spirit nodded and got up. He left the room.

Lance lay back on the couch. His eyes wandered around the room as he thought about what Spirit said. Then he noticed there was a phone on the desk. He debated what to do for about five seconds. 

"Why not?" Lance said with determination as he started to dial the phone. "I just hope she doesn't hang up on me."

He got the answering machine. He took a deep breath and spoke. "Hey Kitty…it's Lance. Look I know things haven't been great between us lately but please don't erase this message. I really need to talk to you. I couldn't before. You see I'm in this place and…this is the first chance I've had to get to a phone. I've been through a lot lately and I just need to hear your voice to say how sorry I am that everything got so messed up. Kitty I swear I wouldn't call you if I didn't need to talk to you. I can't talk long because the others might catch me at any minute and …I…I need help Kitty….I…AAAGGGHHH! NO! STOP IT!" Lance screamed as he was tackled from behind.

"PREPARE TO SUFFER FOR YOUR TRANSGRESSIONS FOOL! MWAHHAHA!" 

"TOAD WILL YOU KNOCK IT OFF!" Lance shouted as he wrestled Todd on the floor. "YOU BONEHEAD I WAS ON THE PHONE! GET OFF ME!" He shoved him off. He picked up the phone again. "Oh great! The machine must have run out of tape or something!"

"What?" Todd asked. "Who were you calling?"

"None of your business!" Lance slammed down on the receiver.

"Kitty huh?" Todd asked. Lance glared at him. "Hey I won't tell! You know we only tease you cause we don't think she's good enough for you ya know? Not the other way around. We don't like how she's got you wrapped around her little finger. You can do better than her pal."

"Oh really?" Lance smirked. "What if I might think the same way about Althea?"

Todd smirked back. "Well then let's look at the facts. Whoever in this room has seen their girl naked raise their hands. Oooh! Oooh!" Todd raised his. 

"Peeking in the shower doesn't count!" Lance snapped.

"Uh uh," Todd grinned. "It was more than a peek. She made sure of that!"

"What?" Lance blinked. "Are you saying…? She…? Althea? She didn't!" 

"She did."

"But…but…you weren't…"

"I was." 

"Are you telling me you two…"

"No! We didn't really get to that. But maybe we would have. She was interested in the idea. In fact if I recall correctly it was her idea," He replied smugly.

Lance started at him with his jaw open. "Okay. You win." 

**Coming next: Three guesses which group finally shows up! **


	34. Knocking Down the Door

**Knocking Down the Door**

The next night started out like any other. The boys were getting ready for bed. Cover Girl was checking up on them. "What are we five years old?" Pietro grumbled.

"The way you act sometimes it's more like you're three," Cover Girl said. 

"Will you tuck me in?" Pietro snickered. Fred hit him with a pillow. "OW!" 

"Be nice!" Fred snapped. 

"That's a good boy Fred," Cover Girl kissed him on his forehead and tucked him in as best she could. 

"Night Cover Girl," Todd smiled as she tucked him in. 

"Good night Todd," She kissed him on the forehead. "Good night Lance. Good night Pietro. Good night Fred. Good night John Boy, etc…"

"Hey I didn't get a kiss!" Pietro protested. 

"What a bunch of babies," Lance grumbled. "I didn't get tucked in or kissed but you don't see me complaining. Nope. Not a word. I don't need it. Apparently I'm the only adult here." 

"Lance," Cover Girl said before she gave him a kiss on the forehead. Then she threw the covers over his head. 

"Oh man," Lance's face turned red with embarrassment. "You do this deliberately don't you?"

"Yes," She said. "Embarrassing people is one of my hobbies." 

"You still didn't give me a good night kiss!" Pietro pouted.

"You don't deserve one!" Todd snapped. 

"All right Pietro," She gave him a peck on the forehead. "Happy?"

"Very," Pietro settled down. 

"Good night boys," She turned off the lights and left. 

"Good night." They said in unison.

"Good night everyone," Pietro said. "Good night Lance. Good night Toad. Good night Blob. Good night moon…"

"Pietro you are going to be saying good night to your teeth if you don't shut up!" Lance snapped. 

"Aww, is Lancy-Poo embarrassed that his new mommy kissed him good night?" Pietro snickered.

"Shut up!" Lance snapped.

"Yeah," Fred told him. "I like it when she does that!"

"Me too," Todd said. "I'm glad she's our mom now."

"She's not our mom stupid," Pietro said. "She's just another adult looking after us."

"Well she's kind of like a mom," Fred said. 

"Yeah she ain't so bad," Lance admitted. "Better than most of my foster mothers anyway. These people are so weird. One minute they're training us to be soldiers and the next minute they're treating us like little kids."

"Well I think its part of our therapy," Fred told him. "Since none of us ever had a stable maternal figure in our lives she is in that role to fulfil our needs. To help us actualize our fantasies of what having a mother is really like. This is supposed to decrease feelings of isolation and increase our ability to…"

"Oh brother!" Pietro groaned. "You've been reading those psychology books again haven't you?"

"At least I read!" Fred snapped. "I have decided to improve myself." 

"Not a word Pietro!" Lance snapped. 

"No they really help with reading skills and stuff," Todd said.

"Not to mention it helps me deal with my anger," Fred said. "Now I'm starting to understand why feel like I'm exploding inside when I'm angry."

"I guess it has nothing to do with all the food you eat huh?" Pietro asked. "You look like you've already exploded." 

"You know Pietro its comments like that which in the past would have enraged me," Fred said. "Now I know better. Especially coming from someone with a severe father complex." 

"Watch it Blobbo!" Pietro snapped. 

"Tsk, Tsk," Fred waved his finger. "Such lashing out at people in order to redirect your feelings away from your dad. By taking your frustration out on other people, you are subconsciously directing your anger at your father. What's that word which means you're angry at one person but you act mean to someone else?" 

"Transference?" Todd asked. 

"Yeah I think that's it!" Fred said.

"Great," Pietro groaned. "I'm being psychoanalyzed by the Blob! This night can't get any worse."

Suddenly there was a loud explosion. "I was wrong!" Pietro got up.

The boys grabbed their clothes and got dressed hastily. They saw Low Light running downstairs. "What's going on?" Lance asked. 

"We're under attack!" Low Light shouted. "I think it's those mutant synthoids again by the looks of it!" 

"Cobra again?" Lance yelped.

"They never learn!" Sarge growled. 

"Well we're just gonna have to teach them all over again!" Mercer grabbed his weapon. 

"Let's rock!" Lance shouted.

"Let's not!" Sarge shouted. "Avalanche I need you to call headquarters and stay here to protect the younger ones! The rest of you get out there!" 

Lance did as he was told, even though he wanted to be in the thick of the action. He was halfway though the living room towards the communications room in the back when the lights went out. Then something tackled him. He fought back but then he fell through his attacker. "What the hell?" Lance screamed. Then the lights flickered back on and he saw who it was sitting on top of him. 

"Lance?" Kitty blinked.

"Kitty?" Lance gulped. "Is that you? What are you…?" 

"Lance?" Peter burst into the room. 

"Peter?" Lance looked at him.

"Shadowcat! Colossus!" Tabitha ran in. "Rocky?"

"Tabby?" Lance blinked. Immediately they both got up off the floor. 

"Don't let me interrupt," Tabitha snickered. 

"Boom Boom!" Kitty snapped. 

"Boom Boom?" Pietro ran in. He looked at the scene. "Kitty? Peter? Tabitha?"

"Speedy?" Tabitha asked.

"What's going on?" Althea and the others ran in. 

"Shadowcat, Colossus have you located the…?" Scott ran in with Bobby, Jean, Gambit and Rogue. "ALVERS?"  
"Summers," Lance growled. 

"You!" Althea snapped when she saw the X-Men.

"You!" Rogue snapped when she saw the other mutants. 

"WHAT ARE **YOU** DOING HERE?" Both the X-Men and the other mutants screamed at each other. 

"We thought mutants were being held captive here!" Scott shouted.

"Does it look like we're being held against our will?" Lance shouted. 

"What about that phone call you made?" Kitty asked.

"Phone call?" Pietro looked at Lance. 

"What phone call?" Todd asked. "Oh wait a minute, is that who you were talking to when I tackled you the other day? I knew it!"

"La-ance," Wanda growled.

"I guess it did sound a little different than what I intended," Lance gulped. "But it's not like I asked them to come here! And if Toad hadn't decided to play ninja…"

"Oh sure," Todd drawled. "Blame it all on me!" 

"Oh wonderful," Rogue growled. "A false alarm!"

"We're not exactly thrilled about this either sister!" Pietro snapped. 

Rogue bristled. Only Gambit seemed to understand the double meaning. "What are you idiots doing here anyway?" He snapped.

"We're training here!" Fred snapped. They heard a loud cry. "Great! Just great! Now you woke up the baby! I hope you're happy!" He stormed upstairs. 

"I can't believe we came all this way to rescue you losers!" Tabitha snapped. 

"Rescue us? From what?" Pietro snapped. 

"All right all of you hands up!" Sarge and the other Renegades ran in with their guns drawn. Todd put up his hands. "Not you! Them! Oh wait…I remember you!"

"Hey what are they doing here?" Shipwreck came downstairs. 

"I was going to ask the same question," Logan walked into the room. Ororo followed him.

"Well I'll be…" Roadblock and the rest of the adults walked in. "What are you doing here?"

"Ask Avalanche," Logan pointed. 

They all looked at him. "Would you care to explain yourself Lance?" Cover Girl folded her arms.

"Well I kinda called Kitty," Lance scratched his head. "But then Toad tackled me and the message got all mixed up!" 

"I advised you to write a letter," Spirit groaned. "This is not what I meant!"

"Great! Just great!" Pietro fumed. "We all get deprived of our beauty sleep just because Lance here missed his little Kitty cat!" 

"So they ain't synthoid clones," Mercer remarked.

"What?" Jean asked.

"Long story," Roadblock sighed. "Let's just say we found out what Cobra did with your DNA." 

"I think we all need to have a discussion," Ororo said. 

"You think?" Roadblock said.

**_* Logan, report. What's going on?*_** Xavier linked to Logan through mental telepathy. 

"Chuck," Logan groaned. "You ain't gonna believe this…" 


	35. Was This Trip Really Necessary?

**Was This Trip Really Necessary? **

Several minutes later everyone was sitting in the kitchen, either drinking coffee or hot cocoa. "Well this is something I never expected," Rogue grumbled as she glared at Pietro. 

"Bit of a shock for us as well," Wanda said. 

"I thought Hawk said none of the Brotherhood besides Mystique could be found?" Logan asked.

"Well," Roadblock scratched his head. "Technically…" 

"So what are you doing here?" Scott asked.

"Training," Todd told him. "Like we said."

"The Joes took us all in," Wanda explained. 

"Oh great," Jean grumbled. "Just when I thought the Joes couldn't get any more psychotic…"

"Watch it!" Wanda snarled. 

"That's enough," Ororo said. "Well at least now we know what's going on here." 

"Yeah as usual these losers are causing us trouble for no reason," Remy snapped. 

"Gambit that's enough!" Ororo said. "We're guests here!"

"Uninvited guests," Todd grumbled.

"Speaking of losers where's Daniels?" Pietro looked around. "I don't see him here! What? He break a leg or something?"

The X-Men tensed up. "What?" Pietro noticed. "What'd I say?"

"Spyke's not an X-Man anymore," Scott told him.

"What?" Todd nearly choked on his hot cocoa. "What happened?" 

Ororo looked sad. "His mutation was progressing. He wasn't able to control his powers or his temper." 

"His spikes got stuck out on the outside of his body," Jean said sadly. "He could make new spikes but he can't retract them into his body anymore. He didn't take it too well. And he had trouble when other people reacted." 

"So what?" Pietro asked. "Is he in jail? Oh please tell me he's in jail!"

"Pietro!" Roadblock warned.

"What?" Pietro asked. "I was just asking!" 

"He went to the Morlocks," Bobby said. 

"The sewer dwellers?" Lance gasped. 

"Oh man!" Pietro grinned. "This is great! I've been dying for some good news!" 

"Pietro!" Rogue snapped.

"Lance I now totally forgive you for calling the X-Geeks and robbing me of my beauty sleep," Pietro smiled. "It was worth it to find out how low Evan sunk!" 

"Why you little…" Remy growled. "You always were a spiteful little punk!" He lunged at him but Pietro easily dodged him. "I don't care who's brother you are! You deserve your butt kicked!"

"Brother?" Mercer asked. "What do you mean?'

"He means Wanda!" Tabitha snapped. "I ain't afraid of her!" She glared at Wanda and started to power up. 

"Go ahead and try," Wanda growled. 

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Logan shouted.

"THE LOT OF YOU SETTLE DOWN!" Sarge shouted. The kids settled down. "The last thing we need right now is another fight breaking out! Pietro apologize!"

"What for?" Pietro asked.

"For being an insensitive jerk!" Rogue snapped. 

"Fine! Sorry you found out Daniels was a washout," Pietro shrugged.

"Why you…!" Rogue snapped standing up.

"Forget it Chere," Remy put his hand on her shoulder. "He ain't worth it." 

"I need some fresh air!" Rogue stomped outside. 

"I hope you're happy Lance!" Kitty snapped.

"Me?" Lance blinked. "What did I do?"

"You caused all this that's what you did!" Kitty snapped.

"Oh look it's time for a moonlight stroll," Roadblock looked at his watch. "Anybody care to join me?"

Most of the others got the hint. Except for Pietro. "What? And miss this fight?" 

"Come on Kitty why don't we talk outside?" Lance sighed. "Alone!" 

"Fine with me!" Kitty followed him to the back. 

The tension in the room could be cut with a knife. "You said something about Cobra doing something with the X-Men's DNA," Logan decided it was time to change the subject. 

"Boring!" Pietro yawned. "I'm gonna have some fun!" He sped off. 

"Oh brother," Althea sighed. "Come on Toad. We'd better stop him before he causes more trouble."

"Yeah he's probably gonna spy on Lance and Kitty anyway," Todd shrugged as he got up. 

"I'd better come to," Wanda sighed. 

"So will I," Jean glared at them. 

"Yeah no way we're gonna leave them with you losers around!" Bobby snapped.

"Are you gonna start that again?" Todd snapped. 

Meanwhile Rogue was fuming outside. "Well I take it none of your friends know about our little family secret. Don't they sis?" Pietro sped up to her. 

"You just keep your big fat mouth shut you stupid hummingbird!" Rogue snapped.

"Fine like I really want to admit that I'm related to an X-Geek," Pietro held up his hands. "Well two if you count Blue Boy!"

"His name is Kurt and if you tell him…" Rogue made a fist.

"My, my keeping secrets are we?" Pietro snickered. "The others I get but your own brother? That's just not right. You're acting more like Father every day!" 

"You take that back!" Rogue lunged at him. 

Pietro tsked and dashed out of her reach. "Temper, temper," He wagged his finger. "You and Wanda really are alike!"

"Yeah we both wanna kill you!" Rogue tried to hit him again.

"Now, now," Pietro dodged her. "You have to admit that I have a point. I mean not telling Kurt is something Magneto would do. By the way have you seen the jerk?"

"No," Rogue told him. "You're annoying enough!" 

"It is my right," Pietro snickered as he leapt out of the way again. "It's in the code of brothers. Thall shalt annoy thy sister!" 

"Rogue!" Kurt teleported between them. "Oh there you are!" Kurt growled at Pietro. "Why don't you leave my sister alone?" 

"Isn't that sweet?" Pietro said in a syrupy voice. "Baby brother is being all protective. Does Big Sister have anything to say at this warm family moment?" 

"Yeah I'm gonna kill you!" She snarled. 

"Rogue!" Scott and the others ran up. "Is he bothering you?" 

"Nothing I can't handle!" Rogue snapped. 

"Pietro give it a rest!" Althea snapped. "As much as I'd love to see you keep annoying the X-Geeks here we have bigger problems. Like Cobra."

"Cobra?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah we tried to tell you before," Althea said. "We found out that…" 

"LANCE YOU ARE SUCH A JERK!" Kitty's voice echoed through the desert. 

"Kitty!" Peter ran off towards the voice.

"Ooh! A fight between the lovebirds!" Pietro sped ahead of him.

"Come on let's go," Althea sighed. Soon they all saw Lance and Kitty fighting.

"I said I was sorry! I didn't mean it like that!" Lance groaned. "But for crying out loud what did you expect? I mean it's not like Daniels and I were best friends or anything!"

"It's not funny that we lost some of our friends!" Kitty snapped.

"It's not like anybody died is it?" Lance groaned. "Is it? Who else is gone?" 

"Rahnee and Jubilee are also gone," Kitty snapped. "Their parents sent them back home. I don't know how many more of us are going to be left! I'm amazed I was able to convince my parents to stay this long! And it's all your fault!" 

"What?" Lance shouted. 

"Everybody knows about the mansion now," Kitty snapped. "And you destroying Bayville High certainly didn't help!" 

"That was an accident!" Lance shouted. "My powers have been evolving too! Just like Spyke! What? It's okay if he causes some damage when he can't control his powers but it isn't if I do it?" 

"You have to admit Kitty he has a point," Pietro sped up.

"Go away Pietro!" Lance snapped. 

"Yeah get lost you loser!" She shouted. 

"Don't call him a loser!" Lance snapped. 

"Yeah only we can say that!" Todd said.

"That's right!" Lance said. 

"Well he's just another jerk like you!" Kitty snapped. "So naturally you'd defend him!"

Lance looked like he had been hit in the stomach. "You don't mean that!" He grabbed her arm.

"TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF HER!" Peter grabbed Lance. 

"Hey back off!" Lance broke free and shoved him. "This is none of your business!" 

"Actually it is my business where Kitty is concerned," Peter growled.

"Peter it's okay I can handle him," Kitty held his arm.

"I'm not going to leave you alone with him!" Peter snapped. 

"I can take care of myself," She reassured him. 

"Yeah Pete back off," Tabitha said. "No need to play the overprotective boyfriend." 

"Boyfriend?" Lance blinked.

"Boyfriend?" Todd and Althea said together. 

"Boyfriend?" Wanda and Pietro asked. 

"Boyfriend!" Fred gulped. 

"Yeah boyfriend," Tabitha smirked. "They've been an item for over a month now." 

"WHAT?" Lance yelled. 

"Oh this is really getting good," Pietro rubbed his hands together. "Do tell Tabby!" 

"Tabitha…" Jean growled. 

"Yeah she got over you real quick Rocky," Tabitha grinned an evil grin. "In fact I think it really started about a day after that Asteroid M incident. At the pool party."

"Pool party?" Lance looked at the two of them. 

"Yeah he helped put sunscreen all over Kitty's body," Tabitha smiled.

"Sunscreen?" Lance said in a shocked voice. He glared at Peter. 

"Oh yeah they couldn't keep their hands off each other," Tabitha smirked. 

"Will you shut up!" Kitty screamed at Tabitha. "Just because you and Ray are on the rocks doesn't give you the right to mess with other people's lives!"

"I'm just telling him the truth," Tabitha said sweetly. "Unlike you." 

"I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!" Lance screamed. "I've been suffering thorough sleepless nights worrying about you and you're making time with another guy behind my back!"

"Hello!" Kitty snapped. "We broke up! Remember?" 

"We did?" Lance blinked. 

"Oh god," Todd grumbled. "Love isn't blind, it's stupid!" 

"Well you're an expert on that," Rogue snapped. 

"You are cruising for a bruising," Wanda growled. "I don't care if we are…" 

"Wait a minute!" Gambit said quickly. "Maybe we should all leave them alone!"

"What's the difference? We can hear them just as easily inside?" Althea said. 

"You…" Lance growled at Peter. The ground began to shake. "You backstabbing jerk!" He sent out a tremor at him that knocked him down.

"This is the real you isn't it?" Kitty snapped. "You just act like a jerk when things don't go your way! You're nothing but a hood!" 

Lance felt like his heart had been torn out. Rage built inside of him. "That's right! I'll never be good enough for you!" Lance shouted. The ground started to shake again. 

"Here we go again," Pietro sighed. "I got dibs on Gambit!" He slugged him. Soon all the kids were fighting with each other. 

The adults came outside and watched the commotion. "Why am I not surprised?" Ororo groaned as she held her head in her hands. 

"Every single time they get together they have to fight don't they?" Roadblock sighed. 

"Okay why is Kitty fighting with Tabitha?" Cover Girl asked. "Aren't they on the same side?"

"Tabby broke up with Ray because she caught him flirting with her," Logan sighed. "Of course she only has eyes now for Pete there but that didn't stop Miss Time Bomb from blaming her. "

"Oh," Cover Girl watched. 

"Shouldn't we do something?" Mercer asked as the kids fought.

"Nah," Sarge sighed as he grabbed some scotch. "Let 'em fight it out on their own." 

"You got any more?" Logan sighed. 

"Help yourself," Sarge poured him a glass. 

**Looks like for now Lance and Kitty are history! In case you couldn't tell I wrote this chapter when 'Mainstream' came out! That's just the way this story is going in my head so far. Are they really over for good, or am I just messing with everyone's heads (Including my own)? But won't it be fun to find out? **


	36. Lance the Lovelorn

**Wahh! Lance and Kitty broke up! Again! Let's just say I have some interesting plans for Lance and leave it at that. I just feel like tormenting him right now. As well as a few other people. **

**Lance the Lovelorn**

Morning was breaking and still everyone was awake. The X-Men had left hours earlier. Logan and Ororo had to literally drag some of them back to the X-Jet. The remaining mutants were musing over the latest news. 

"I can't believe it's over," Lance moaned. "I just can't believe it!"

"Neither can I," Todd grumbled. "I thought she'd have you on a leash forever!"

"Toad!" Wanda snapped. 

"Uh why don't you ladies go into your room and let us men work this out," Roadblock and Shipwreck gently pushed them out.

"Oh just eat a quart of ice cream and get it over with!" Althea shouted. 

"Feel so stupid! Stupid!" Lance kicked the wall. 

"Come on now," Spirit guided him to the couch. Lance sat down dejectedly. 

"Boy I don't know what I would do if Althea wanted to break up with me," Todd sighed. "Not just break up with me but fool around with another guy behind my back. And then flaunt it in front of everyone. That would be so humiliating. No, that would be beyond humiliating. That would be the lowest, worst feeling in the world! I'd want to die!" 

"Toad you are not helping!" Lance shouted. 

Roadblock gently grabbed Todd by the scruff of the neck and showed him the door. "Ladies please take him with you!" He looked at Pietro. "And him too!" 

"I loved her," Lance sighed. "I loved her more than I loved anyone in my entire life. I never felt love like that before. Not just a crush or an infatuation, it was love. I know it was. Can you understand that?"

"Believe it or not kid we do," Roadblock sighed. "Nearly every man here has had one experience like that. First love is the hardest. Sometimes you can never get over it completely. Unless you're lucky enough to find the one the first time. It's rare but it happens. It was like that with my parents. And it's like that with Todd and Althea. I can tell by looking in their eyes." 

"Thought that way when I first looked into her eyes," Lance sighed. "I was so sure she was the one…" 

"Look at the bright side kid," Shipwreck patted him on the back. "At least you didn't marry her before she dumped you. Yeah, at least you didn't pledge to spend the rest of your life caring for that two timing little witch before she took off with some rich jerk!" 

"Uh Shipwreck," Roadblock groaned. 

"Yeah you spend your life loving her and caring for her," Shipwreck snapped. "You give yourself totally and completely to her. Okay maybe you might have helped out a bit more around the house and maybe you weren't the perfect husband but at least you were there for her! You didn't step out on her looking for something better when things got rough! And it's not like you didn't have offers! Oh no! You had plenty of chances but like a sap you turned them down so you could be a good faithful husband. And what did it get you? What does being a good guy get you? I'll tell you where it gets you! It gets you the shaft that's where it gets you! THE SHAFT! So count yourself lucky kid! You're better off!"

"Thanks a lot Shipwreck," Roadblock sighed noting Lance's shocked face. "He feels **much** better now!" 

"Well you just buck up kid!" Shipwreck said. "You're a man! Men are tough! We are strong! We don't go blubbering all over the place because we had a little…could you pass me the tissues?" He took them from Sarge and blew his nose. 

"I just feel so stupid," Lance sighed.

"Affairs of the heart are never stupid," Spirit told him. "No matter how strange it seems." 

"Kid we've all had experience with love and how much it hurts," Mercer told him. 

"I remember this cute cheerleader," Red Dog sighed. "Sandy. I was crazy about her. Then I find out she was two timing me with a linebacker! So I put him in the hospital! Big deal! I'm supposed to do that on the field!"

"Not on your own team," Sarge said. "That's why you got kicked out of Pro Football for unnecessary roughness!" 

"God I'd forgotten how I missed her!" Red Dog groaned. "Pass the tissues will ya?" 

"Oh god it's contagious!" Low Light groaned. 

"Ravana," Tauros sighed. "She was the cutest little bareback rider in the world. Her eyes were the color of emeralds. Her hair black as midnight all tied up in that little pink bow. Her smile…"

"My stomach," Low Light grumbled. 

"So what happened?" Shipwreck asked.

"Ah same old story," Tauros sighed. "Boy and girl fall in love. Boy and girl have argument. Girl runs off with Lobster Man. Boy tries to win girl back by setting fire to Lobster Man's tent. Tent turns out to be the Ringmaster's. Ringmaster sacks boy. Girl takes out restraining order…" 

"Okay that's enough of that," Low Light sighed. 

"And of course it wasn't bad enough she dumped me," Shipwreck continued. "Oh no! She left the kids too!" 

"Shipwreck we're off you!" Roadblock shouted. 

"Good onto me now," Mercer said. "I met Julia one summer in Columbia…" 

"Will you people shut up and stop talking about your pathetic love lives?" Low Light snapped. "We're trying to help the kid here! Do you want him to end up as pathetic as you? Come on! How are you doing kid?" 

"I'll be okay," Lance muttered. "In about a million years or so." 

"It will be fine," Roadblock patted him on the back. "You just need time."

"Yeah," Shipwreck said. "One day you'll look back on all of this and laugh! Ha Ha! Hah! Ha! WAAAAAAAAAAA!" 

"Oh no!" Roadblock groaned. 

"Pass the tissues!" Tauros sobbed.

"Stay strong man!" Roadblock said. 

"I'll go make some tea," Spirit sighed.

"Kitty," Lance moaned.

"Mara," Shipwreck moaned.

"Sandy," Red Dog groaned. 

"Ravana," Tauros sighed. 

"Oh brother," Low Light groaned. "They're all gone!" 

"It's gonna be a loooooooong day," Sarge groaned putting his head into his hands. 

Cover Girl walked in. "Okay I got a ton of ice cream. Anyone need it?"

"WAAAAHAHHHH!" Half the men in the room were crying now.

"Oh yeah," Roadblock sighed. "Just bring it out." 

**Coming up next: You've all been waiting for this! The return of Xi! YAYYY! **


	37. Hi Xi!

**Hi Xi!**

Two days later the kids were relaxing outside. Well Fred and Pietro were relaxing by watching Todd and Althea practice with their Bo staffs. "Man those two are good!" Fred remarked.

"Ah that's not so hard," Pietro yawned.

"Lance is right," Fred grumbled. "The only thing as bigger than your ego is the universe. And even that's a tight call." 

"Where is Lance anyway?" Pietro scratched his head.

"He said he needed to talk to someone," Fred sighed. "Three guesses what about?"

Nearby Lance was having a conversation with a certain someone. "I really appreciate you listening to me. You know you're the only one around here who's willing to let me talk without making fun of me or going nuts or something. Yeah I know I've been talking about Kitty for a while but I just needed to talk to someone. You know what I mean?"

Claudius simply looked at him. "Gaaaah?" He tilted his head. 

"Yeah I know," Lance sighed. "But I never felt like that with anyone before. I dunno. It was almost… magical." 

"Poopie," Claudius blew a raspberry. 

"My sentiments exactly," Pietro ran up. "What is the matter with you? It's bad enough you're torturing the rest of us, but at least we can complain about it. This poor kid can't even defend himself!" 

"Well at least he listens to me unlike the rest of you!" Lance snapped.

"He can't even make a sentence! He doesn't have a choice!" Pietro told him. "Lance I'm begging you, forget her! For all our sakes!" 

"It's not that easy you know!" Lance snapped. "You've never been in love with anyone but yourself! You have no idea what I'm going through! I should talk to Toad. At least he knows what it's like to care about someone!"

"Oh please!" Pietro snapped. "I care! Well not in **that** way but I care!" 

"Yeah right!" Lance grumbled. 

"I do! It hurts me to see you torn up over that ditz buddy!" 

"Of course it hurts you. You keep complaining that you can't get a decent night's sleep with my whining!"

"Well yeah but besides that…" Pietro began when something whizzed by him. "What was that?" 

"I don't see anything," Lance looked around. "You must be imagining things."

"I'm not imagining that!" Pietro pointed.

Off in the distance a figure in black appeared and was now fighting furiously with Todd and Althea with a Bo staff. "Come on!" Lance cried as he put Claudius in his playpen. "Let's go!" 

"Why are we all just standing around here while they're being attacked?" Pietro shouted as he ran up to Fred. 

"They said they could take him," Fred told him. "I guess it's working." 

They watched at all three of them went at it until they stopped. They stood there standing, staring at each other for a few seconds in fighting positions. "What are they doing just standing there?" Pietro asked.

"I think it's a ninja thing," Fred said. 

The intruder removed his headgear. It was a mutant with green skin and a tan mane barely tamed by a ponytail. Its eyes were yellow and looked like a serpent's and there were gold marks around them. It licked its fangs as it stood between the two. 

Immediately the three of them engaged in a battle with the Bo staffs. The three of them fought furiously as the others watched. "Shouldn't we do something?" Lance asked.

"Don't worry," Shipwreck came out. "Let them have their fun. It's been a while since they've seen each other. Let 'em play."

"Play?" Lance asked. Then he noticed that all three of them were now laughing as they fought. 

Wanda walked over with Psyche-Out and a man dressed all in white. "Hey guys we have company! Psyche here says that there's a new mutant…" She watched the mock battle. "Never mind." 

"Hey Stormshadow!" Shipwreck waved. "Psyche! Good to see you!"

Stormshadow tilted his head in a slight bow. "It is good to see you as well my friend. I see the young ones have progressed in their fighting skills. I am most pleased." 

"Xi ain't looking too shabby either," Shipwreck said. "Come on, let's let the kids get to know each other while we have some brewskis!" 

"Dad do not get drunk!" Althea shouted as she fought.

"Yeah, yeah!" He waved as the adults left. 

"Another ninja?" Lance scratched his head. 

Xi made a leap at his two opponents and landed on top of them. They rolled around laughing for a minute. "Xi!" Todd laughed and hugged his friend. "Good to see ya buddy!" 

"Hey Xi!" Althea hugged him as well as they stood up. "Man did we miss you!"

"I see you have been busy," Xi said. 

"And how," Althea laughed. "It is a long story!" 

"So you do know this guy," Lance said. 

"Hey guys this is Xi!" Todd told them. "He's a mutant too!"

"No kidding," Pietro deadpanned. 

"Xi these are my old buddies from the Brotherhood," Todd said. "That's Pietro, Freddy, Lance and Wanda! Guys this is Xi!"

Immediately Xi's eyes turned cold. "I've heard of you."

"Ah I see our reputation has preceded us," Pietro grinned. 

Xi said nothing, but simply glared at them. "Hey Xi how was Japan?" Althea asked.

"Interesting," Xi told them. 

"My oh my," Roadblock walked up to them with Shipwreck. "If it isn't Xi!"

"Let me guess," Althea smirked at her father. "They were out of beer?" To this Shipwreck responded by sticking out his tongue. 

"Hello Roadblock," Xi bowed respectfully. "It is good to see you again." 

"Glad to see you're doing well," Roadblock said. "Well isn't this swell? I take it you've met the others by now?"

"Yes. Todd, Althea do you mind if we talk somewhere more…private?" He glared again at the others.

"Uh sure Xi," Todd said. "He's probably just tired and stuff."

"Hey um, maybe we can talk or something?" Fred asked. 

"Yeah you can show us what powers you have," Pietro said. 

"Perhaps later," Xi said in a voice that sounded something like a snarl. Immediately Xi grabbed both Todd and Althea by the shoulders and whirled them away from the group. 

"Uh we gotta do some catching up with Xi," Todd called back. "We'll see you guys later!" 

They watched as they moved off. "Well now I've met a mutant that's even less friendly than my sister," Pietro said. 

"Watch it!" Wanda growled. "You'd better be talking about Rogue!" 

"I dunno," Fred scratched his head. "Xi seemed pretty friendly with those two." 

"There is something really weird going on here," Lance muttered. "Is it just me or does Xi seem rather…possessive when it comes to Toad and Al?" 

"Uh yeah," Roadblock scratched his head. "About that, it seems that Xi kind of has a little crush on both of them."

"A what?" Pietro raised an eyebrow. 

"Well first Xi had a crush on only Toad but now he's kind of got a crush on both of them," Shipwreck sighed. "I know that sounds strange…"

"No kidding," Lance said. 

"But if you consider Xi's background it's not that strange," Shipwreck said. "Well maybe it is because he's not a he…"

"WHAT?" Pietro yelped.

"Oh yeah," Fred said. "Now I remember Toad telling me about him. Xi's not really a guy." 

"Xi's a girl?" Wanda asked. "Who has a crush on Toad and Althea's okay with this?" 

"Okay Xi isn't a girl either," Fred said. "Toad told me that Xi was created by Cobra without a gender."

"What do you mean no gender?" Lance asked.

"Exactly like it sounds kid," Shipwreck said. "No gender. Xi doesn't have any…parts like we do. So Xi also doesn't have the same…instincts we do."

"What do you mean?" Pietro asked.

"He means Xi isn't an oversexed maniac like any other teenager!" Shipwreck groaned.

"Shipwreck!" Roadblock said. "That's a little too simplified! You can put it in a better way if you tried!" 

"Okay Xi doesn't have a sex drive. Is that better?" Shipwreck snapped. 

"With no boy or girl parts I guess he wouldn't have," Fred said.

"He's not a he!" Pietro snapped.

"We call him a he because it's easier," Roadblock sighed. "But Xi is very…affectionate in his own way. It's a long story." 

"Oh I can't wait to hear this one," Lance groaned. "So where's 'he' been all this time?"

"In Japan with Stormshadow," Shipwreck told him. "One of the ninjas here. Another long story." 

"There's a lot of long stories around here," Pietro said. 

"You'll hear 'em all eventually," Roadblock said. "Why don't we give them their privacy? Let's go and have some lunch. Psyche-Out will want to talk to all of you I have a hunch." 

They walked back to the Slaughterhouse. "I'm telling you that Xi guy was definitely not very friendly to us!" Pietro snapped. "I thought the X-Geeks were cold but that guy could give them snob lessons!" 

"Maybe he's just not used to us yet," Fred scratched his head. "I mean if he was a snob he wouldn't be so tight with Toad now would he?"

"You have a point," Wanda said. 

"You know guys I just realized something," Lance said. "There is a whole side of Toad's life we don't know anything about."

"What are you saying Lance?" Pietro asked.

"Look we ain't exactly the warmest people in the world either," Lance told them. "This Xi is obviously very important to Toad. The least we can do is give him the benefit of the doubt."

"That doesn't sound like the Lance we all know," Pietro said.

"Well anybody who can fight that well and has been training with a ninja we don't want to tick off," Lance said. "We don't even know what his powers are. It's best to play it safe." 

"That sounds like the Lance we know," Wanda said. 

"Let's just let the guy settle in for now," Lance said. "Maybe we're just imagining things." 

"Why do I keep hearing the phrase 'Famous Last Words' in my mind?" Pietro grumbled. 


	38. Making Friends Can Be Hazardous To Your ...

**Making Friends Can Be Hazardous to Your Health**

It wasn't long before Todd, Xi and Althea came back inside for lunch. "Now remember Pietro," Lance warned. "Be nice."

"I'm always nice," Pietro sniffed haughtily. He zipped up to Xi. "So Xi what's shaking? I'll bet you're just dying to know all about me!" 

"Actually I think I know quite a bit about you," Xi said in an even tone. 

"Yeah but we don't know anything about you," Pietro pointed out. "Well other than the fact that you aren't really a guy. Or a girl. How does something like that happen?"

"You'd be surprised at what science can do," Xi told him. 

"Hey let's have some lunch first!" Todd hopped over to the table. He grabbed a sandwich. Pietro swiped it away from him. "Hey!"

"Thanks for the snack Toad," Pietro scoffed it down with a laugh.

That was when Xi grabbed him and slammed him into the wall. "Hey!" Pietro tried to get away. 

"Xi knock it off!" Todd grabbed him and tried to pry him away from Pietro. "It was only a sandwich yo!" 

"Xi let go!" Roadblock ran over and with the help of Lance and Todd pried him off Pietro.

"Man and I thought I took lunch seriously," Fred gulped. 

"What is wrong with you?" Pietro snapped. 

"You will not hurt him again," Xi snarled. 

"What?" Pietro asked.

"I know what you did to Todd," Xi growled. "You abandoned him and mistreated him! I will not allow you to do that again!" Xi leapt at Pietro who barely managed to get out of the way. 

"You're crazy!" Pietro snapped. "You're completely psycho!" He charged at Xi. He gave him a few quick punches before Xi managed to grab him. "Hey! How did you do…uh oh! Guys! Help!" 

"Oh for crying out loud!" Shipwreck shouted as he and Roadblock pried them apart. "You guys should save it for training!" 

Lance and Fred tried to approach Xi but were stopped by Xi's snarling. "Hey!" Lance protested. Wanda watched from the back, actually amused at the scene. 

"I'll take him outside!" Althea pushed Xi away. "Todd you handle them!"

"That freak's totally nuts!" Pietro snapped. "I can't believe I tried to be nice to him!" 

"Pietro calm down!" Todd said. "He doesn't understand!"

"**He** doesn't understand?" Lance asked. "Toad he went totally postal on us for no reason!"

"Actually he did have a reason," Shipwreck sighed. 

"Guys listen," Todd said. "Xi was created by Cobra to be an assassin with a whole bunch of others. When they decided they didn't want to do that, Cobra killed them all. Xi was the only one who made it. He was alone for a long time. You gotta give him a little time okay? He ain't used to you yet."

"I'm not so sure I want to be used to him," Pietro grumbled. 

"Pietro he's just looking out for me," Todd said. "In his own way. Althea and I became the only family he's ever really known since…Look I'll talk to him. He just doesn't know you yet. What I did tell him about you…well it wasn't exactly showing you guys in the best light if you know what I mean. I mean I was still angry with you guys all that time so naturally…" 

"Naturally he'd hate our guts too," Lance finished the sentence. 

"Oh wonderful," Fred grumbled. "No wonder he went ballistic!" 

"Yeah I'd have probably done the same thing myself," Lance admitted. 

"He doesn't realize what was going on," Todd said. "Magneto was to blame for what happened. I know that now. I didn't then. Let me talk to him. Explain the situation. Please guys give him another chance. For me."

"You really care about this guy, don't you Toad?" Wanda asked.

"He's my friend," Todd explained. "And he saved my life." Todd went outside. 

"Yeah well that guy is seriously dangerous!" Pietro spat.

"So are all of you," Shipwreck said. "Psyche! We got a problem here!" 

"What happened?" Psyche Out walked into the room.

"There was a little incident," Roadblock sighed.

"That's putting it mildly," Pietro snapped.

************************************************************************

"I can't understand it!" Xi paced back and forth. "How can you forgive them after they betrayed you?"

"It was Magneto and Mystique that really did the betraying," Todd told him. "Xi calm down!"

"You can't just attack people because they did something to Todd," Althea said. 

"Why not? You do," Xi said. 

"You have a point," Althea sighed. 

"Xi I forgave them," Todd told him. "Magneto was to blame for a lot of it anyway. He twisted all of us. Everybody who comes into contact with that guy ends up messed up. He's bad news." 

"I know this isn't easy for you," Althea said. "But for our sake please try to get along. I was mad at them too you know and I forgave them. They're not that bad. Well maybe Pietro is a pain but…" 

"Look I know it's hard to understand," Todd said. "But they were victims of Magneto too. Just like I was. Only they couldn't get out until now."

Xi seemed to calm down. "So I can't kill them?"

"NO!" They both said.

"Or hurt them," Althea told him. "Got it?" 

"If that is what you wish," Xi sighed. He brushed a hand against Althea's cheek. "But if they hurt either of you, I will not be held responsible." 

"Oh goody," Todd sighed. "Well let's try this again." They went back inside.

The other mutants looked at Xi warily. "Come back for a rematch?" Pietro hissed.

"That's not helping Pietro!" Lance snapped.

"Yeah give it a rest will ya?" Fred said.

"You only got lucky!" Pietro stormed up to Xi. "I'm not scared of a little…EEEP!" He squealed when Xi grabbed his shirt and lifted him off the floor with his hand. 

"I will tolerate you because Todd and Althea wish it," Xi hissed. "But if you ever hurt them in any way. I will hurt you." 

"XI!" Todd groaned. "That's not what I meant! Put him down!"

Xi reluctantly obeyed. "I apologize," Xi said.

Pietro ran to the other side of the room. "Just stay away from me will ya?" 

"Don't be too sorry," Wanda smirked. "Anybody who can scare my brother like that has got to have some redeeming qualities."

"Hey!" Pietro snapped. 

"Xi I told you that they ain't gonna hurt me any more," Todd said. "You gotta trust me on this!" 

"I trust **you**," Xi told him. 

"Look I got a pretty good idea of what Toad must have told you," Lance sighed. "But we never meant for him to get hurt. Maybe we should have tried to protect him better but you don't know Magneto. He's crazy!" 

"Lance is right," Wanda said. "Magneto…my father….is a madman. He did horrible things to us. Forced us to work for him. I'm not saying that what we let him do to Toad was right, but at the time we had no choice. We were trapped."

Xi looked at her. "I can…understand that feeling," He admitted. 

"Look," Roadblock said. "I know you're all a little stressed, so why don't we get some rest? Have something to eat. And then with Psyche-Out you'll all meet."

The kids reluctantly went to the table and started eating. No one said anything at the table. "Oh well this is fun," Shipwreck grumbled. He, Roadblock and Psyche-Out were off to the side. "Great. Just great. Another kid who starts fights and trouble around here." 

"How are we gonna keep them from killing each other?" Roadblock grumbled. "It was hard enough before, but with Xi here now there's gonna be trouble more!" 

"Apparently spending months with an ex-Cobra ninja didn't improve the kid's disposition any," Shipwreck sighed. "And Pietro's not exactly the easiest kid in the world to get along with." 

"Trust takes time," Psyche-Out said. "They just need a period of adjustment. Not to mention a few anger management sessions." 


	39. Anger Management Therapy

**Anger Management Therapy**

"Good Afternoon kids and welcome to your first group session of Anger Management Therapy," Psyche-Out said. "Considering how things have been going lately we thought it was time for all of you to do this."

"Way past time for some of us," Pietro glared at Wanda. 

"Where are the Triplets?" Todd asked.

"This is just for you older kids," Psyche-Out explained.

"They're beyond help," Althea said. 

"All right now we are going to start out with a couple of simple exercises before we open up," Psyche-Out handed them some paper and pens. "What I am going to have you do is write a letter to a parent or someone who has severely hurt you in the past. You are to write to this person and tell them how you feel and how their treatment of you has affected your life. You can do whatever you like with this letter. You can read it aloud if you wish or hide it someplace where no one else can see it. You can even share it with another member of the group or me if you feel like it. It's up to you. The important thing is for you to express your anger on paper. Using your words instead of your powers. Any questions?"

"Yeah I have one," Fred raised his hand. "Decapitate doesn't have a k in it does it?"

"No," Psyche-Out sighed. "It doesn't." He watched as several of the kids scribbled furiously on their papers. 

"I need more," Wanda raised her hand. "I have a lot to say." 

"Oh yeah," Pietro snatched hers. "It's very eloquent. 'Die, die, die! Magneto! Die, die, die…'" 

"PIETRO!" Wanda screamed. "Give it back! That's private!" She snatched it back. "You're not supposed to read that if I don't want you to!"

"Yeah you're invading her personal space!" Fred told him.

"Oh please," Pietro waved. "Like we didn't know who she was going to write about! She's still obsessed with killing him!"

"Can you blame her?" Todd grumbled. 

"I didn't say anything about killing him," Wanda snapped. "I wrote I want to watch him die an agonizing death! There's a difference!"

"Well for you that is progress," Pietro said. 

"If you don't shut up…" Wanda growled as she made a fist. 

"Wanda," Psyche Out said. "Remember? What shouldn't we do?"

"Lash out in anger," She grumbled. "Sorry." 

"Pietro," Psyche-Out said. "Isn't there something you want to say to Wanda?" 

"Yeah you misspelled a couple of words." 

"Pietro!" Psyche-Out admonished.

"Okay, okay I'm sorry. Here," He handed her his paper. "You can read mine if you want." 

"How generous of you," She grumbled and looked at it. "What the…? Pietro! This is a letter to Spyke! And it's not about your anger! It's you gloating at him!"

"What?" Todd yelped.

"Listen to this…" She snapped. " 'I always knew I was superior to you and now this proves it! You are so lame! You are the lamest of the lame and I am the greatest of the great! I am the wonderful…' This is your idea of dealing with your anger?" 

"Well he did make me angry a couple of times," Pietro shrugged. "What better way of dealing with a person who made you angry than by rubbing their failures in their face?"

"Pietro that's not how this is supposed to work yo!" Todd groaned. 

"I can't believe you spent your letter writing about how superior you are to Evan!" Wanda groaned. 

"Well I figured you had Father pretty much covered so…" Pietro shrugged. 

"Whack Job!" Wanda snapped.

"Psycho!" Pietro snapped.

"You're both Whack Jobs and Psychos!" Lance snapped. 

"You shut up!" Wanda snapped.

"Make me!" Lance shouted. 

"KNOCK IT OFF!" Psyche-Out shouted. "All of you!" 

"Psyche-Out they're not being very constructive with their anger!" Fred said.

"Look who's talking!" Pietro snapped. "This from a guy who bench presses trucks when he loses his temper." 

"Yeah well at least I try to take my anger out on inanimate objects now and not on people," Fred sniffed. "Unless they really tick me off."

"Oh yeah that's progress," Lance groaned.

"I don't know about you but I am feeling much better about myself," Althea said to Todd.

"Yeah nothing like seeing how bad other people are to make you appreciate how good you have it," Todd nodded. 

"Okay I think we're getting off track here," Psyche-Out sighed. "Forget the letters. Maybe we should have an open discussion now."

"Well I wanted to read my letter," Lance said.

"Please," Pietro rolled his eyes. "As if we wanted to hear you babble on about how Kitty kicked you to the curb some more."

"You don't know if that was what my letter's about!" Lance said hotly. 

"This is you we're talking about Lance," Wanda said. "The odds are pretty good."

"Five will get you ten he did," Todd said. 

"Forget my letter okay?" Lance sighed. "Psyche's right. We should just talk anyway."

"You did didn't you?" Todd said.

"Okay yes!" Lance snapped. "Happy?"

"Not really," Wanda grumbled. "All the time it's 'Kitty this' or 'Kitty that'! Change the record! Get over her already!"

"Well excuse me!" Lance snapped. "I just broke up with the love of my life a few days ago! I was hoping my friends would show me a little support. I guess I was wrong!"

"Well standing by their friends doesn't seem to be their strong suit," Xi said. 

"What is that crack supposed to mean?" Pietro snapped.

"What do you think it means?" Xi shot back. 

"Xi calm down," Todd said. "I told you to drop it."

"How can you 'drop it' when they abandoned you?" Xi whirled on you. "Who's to say they won't do it again? And next time you won't be so lucky!" 

"You sound like you're really worried about Todd and Althea," Psyche-Out said. 

"I will not let them be hurt," Xi said. Then he glared at the others. "By anyone."

"What is this thing you have about Toad and Al being hurt?" Lance asked. "You've been babbling on about that ever since you got here! What's the deal with that?" 

"Is it because of Masaru?" Psyche-Out asked.

Xi fell silent. "Who's Masaru?" Pietro asked.

"A real slimeball," Althea told him. "Xi that wasn't your fault. He betrayed all of us. There was no way you could have known." 

"But you both got hurt because of me," Xi said bitterly. "And the Blind Master as well." 

"That's not true!" Todd said. "He fooled us all yo!" 

"Who is this guy?" Pietro asked.

"He was the leader of Stormshadow's ninja clan," Althea told him. "As well as a double agent for Cobra. He captured Toad and nearly killed us both as well as the Blind Master."

"And I let him capture him," Xi said bitterly.

"That wasn't your fault," Todd said.

"Okay," Lance said. "I get it now. You totally trusted this guy and you got burned. And on top of it, you feel guilty for Toad and Al for getting involved. So now you feel like you have to watch out for them in order to make up for your mistake. Am I right?" 

"I will not allow them to be harmed again," Xi said. 

"We don't want them hurt either," Wanda said. "You're not the only one who was badly hurt by someone."

"Yeah we trusted Magneto and look what happened," Fred said bitterly. 

"Take it from us," Pietro said softly. "We know exactly how you feel." 

Xi was silent for a moment. "I just don't want to see them hurt."

"It sounds like they're not the only ones you don't want to be hurt," Psyche-Out said. "Am I right Xi?"

"I lost my unit to Cobra," Xi said. "I do not want to lose another one to anyone else." 

"Unit?" Wanda asked.

"That's what he called his family," Todd explained. "The others like him Cobra created to be weapons." 

"Xi listen to me," Althea said. "We're your family…I mean your unit now. That's not gonna change. But they're now a part of your unit too. You can't abandon them. Like we won't abandon you." 

"Trust is a very fragile thing," Psyche-Out said. "You need to work at it to build it and keep it strong." 

Xi looked around. "I…apologize for my actions. I will try harder to adapt to all of you."

"Well that's a start," Psyche-Out sighed. 

"Group hug!" Fred came over and nearly squashed Xi in a huge bearhug. Then he reached out and grabbed Todd and Althea. 

"I can't breathe!" Todd gasped.

"Welcome to the family Xi," Althea groaned. 

"Hugs for everybody!" Fred went over to Wanda, Lance and Pietro.

"Touch me and die!" Wanda snapped.

"Back off!" Lance snapped.

"Don't even think about it!" Pietro zipped away. 

There was a knock at the door. Psyche-Out went to answer it. It was Roadblock. "How are they all doing?" 

"Well I think we've made some progress today," Psyche-Out said. 

"I told you not to touch me Fatso!" Wanda screamed as objects started to fly around the room.

"Don't call him Fatso, Psycho!" Lance sent off a tremor.

"Watch it with my sister!" Pietro tackled Lance. 

"Stop being such a Drama Queen Wanda!" Althea snapped. 

"Are they always like this?" Xi asked Todd.

"Pretty much," Todd said as he watched all of them fighting with each other. "Wanna join in?"

"Why not?" Xi shrugged. Soon all the kids were either arguing or fighting with each other. 

"So much for progress," Roadblock sighed. 

"Actually I think that went rather well," Psyche-Out said. "Can't wait until tomorrow's session." 


	40. Getting to Know Xi

**Getting to Know Xi**

"Well this was a fun day," Pietro grumbled as he went upstairs after supper. "A hostile teammate as well as KP duty!" 

"Well maybe if you weren't so much of a jerk it wouldn't have been as bad!" Fred snapped. 

"Come on guys let's get ready for bed," Lance sighed. "I'm beat." 

"Hey where is Xi going to sleep?" Pietro asked. "I mean he's not really a he or a she…"

"With us guys," Todd said. "I mean just cause he ain't got a…well you know. Just think of him as a he. It's easier." 

"Oh that's gonna be fun," Wanda snickered. "Pleasant dreams boys!" She and Althea went to the girl's section of the bedrooms. 

"Well let's hit the sack," Lance grumbled.

Xi seemed slightly uneasy. "You okay Xi?" Todd asked him quietly. 

"I do not know where my place is with this new unit," Xi admitted. 

"Don't worry," Todd patted him on the shoulder. "You'll get used to it." 

"Hey I just remembered something," Lance said. "We never did find out what Xi's power is."

"Actually I have more than one ability," Xi told him. "Would you care for a demonstration?"

"Why not?" Lance shrugged.

"Sit down," Xi motioned. Lance did so. "This will not hurt." 

Xi gently touched Lance's hair. "What's he doing?" Lance blinked as Xi's hands moved to his face. 

"He's figuring you out," Todd said. "It's okay." 

"Your powers are in a state of flux," Xi said. "Not only are you capable of geographic manipulation and shockwaves, you are now able to sculpt stone as well as communicate with the earth." 

"How do you …?" Lance asked.

"One of my abilities is that I can tell what a mutant's power is by touching them," Xi explained. 

"Really?" Pietro blinked. "Cool! What else do you do?"

Xi looked at Todd. "Go on," Todd smiled. "Show 'em." 

Xi stood up and stepped back. And then he vanished. "Where'd he go?' Pietro asked. 

"Behind you," Xi's voice whispered. Pietro whirled around and saw Xi appear. "I can turn invisible." 

"Wow," Fred said. "That's neat!" 

"It was a skill Cobra put in to its assassins to make them better at hunting," Xi explained. 

"So you were born in a lab?" Lance asked.

"Yes, I lived in one nearly all my life," Xi told him.

"Man that's rough," Pietro said. "No wonder you don't trust people too much." 

"I do not dwell on my hardships," Xi shrugged. "It was all I knew, that's all." 

"He's also a ninja like me!" Todd said.

"Toad you are not a ninja!" Lance groaned. 

"Yes I am!" Todd snapped. "Tell him Xi!" 

"Well you do have ninja training," Xi said.

"See!" Todd snapped. 

"What I see is someone who just doesn't want to argue with you," Lance said as he started to undress for bed. 

"And why would you want to argue with Todd?" Xi asked.

"He's got a point Lance," Pietro snickered sneaking a furtive glance at Xi. 

Todd however noticed it. "What are you doing?" Todd asked. 

"Nothing," Pietro said defensively. 

"You were trying to look at Xi weren't you?" Todd said hotly.

"Well I just…" Pietro blinked. "No I wasn't!" 

"Yes you were you pervert!" Todd snapped.

"I am not a pervert!" Pietro said hotly. "I just can't see how anyone could be…without…you know. Stuff."

"And you make fun of my vocabulary?" Fred grumbled. 

"I don't understand what the problem is," Xi said. "If you wanted to see my anatomy why didn't you just ask? I don't mind," Xi started to disrobe.

"No!" Lance blurted. "No! No! Don't do that!" 

"Why not?" Xi asked. "I'm not embarrassed. I have nothing to hide." Xi let the last stitch of clothing drop to the floor.

"Well you don't now," Pietro blinked. 

"Oh geeze Xi," Todd covered his eyes. "I wish you wouldn't do that!" 

"I will never understand your behavior when it concerns nudity," Xi shook his head. "You want to look at other's bodies but when you do you're ashamed to do it. Why?" 

"You just don't do that okay!" Todd groaned. "Guys don't stare at him!"

"It's kind of hard not to," Lance gulped. "You really don't have any…anything!" 

"It's like looking at those dolls you used to play with as a kid," Pietro said. 

"You played with dolls?" Todd asked. 

"How do you go to the bathroom?" Fred asked Xi. 

"I do have an opening for waste disposal," Xi said.

"Don't show him!" Todd snapped. "Will you please put some clothes on?" He handed him his pajamas. 

"Oh all right," Xi sighed dressing again. "I still don't understand the fuss you make." 

"You just don't do it, okay Xi?" Todd sighed. "It's not polite." 

"But it's okay to sneak a peek?" Xi asked. 

"No!" They all shouted. 

"That's what Pietro did," Xi pointed out. 

"Pietro's a nut!" Lance grumbled as he resumed getting ready for bed. Suddenly he felt very self-conscious. 

"Don't worry," Xi turned around, sensing this. "I will not look at you. I understand you are embarrassed about your bodies. Even though you shouldn't be. Besides I know what males look like. I have seen Todd before you know."

"Xi!" Todd slapped his head. "You did not have to tell them that!" 

"How…?" Fred started to ask.

"Don't ask!" Todd grumbled. "Please don't!"

"Well I'm not embarrassed," Pietro huffed. "My body is perfect!"

"Pietro no!" Lance snapped. "The last thing we need around here is you putting on one of your exhibitions!" 

They got ready for bed. Xi's cot was next to Todd's. However Xi sat on the edge of Todd's bed. "Whatsa matter Xi?" Todd asked as he settled in.

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" Xi asked.

"WHAT?" Todd blinked. 

"I just really don't feel like being alone right now," Xi explained.

"Xi you ain't alone!" Todd groaned. "We're all in the same room!" 

"It's just…" Xi looked uncomfortable. "You know my powers and how I can sense things through touching? That's how my old unit stayed centered. By huddling together as we slept that's how we stayed focused. It's not very comfortable for me to sleep alone."

"It's not comfortable for anyone to sleep alone," Pietro snickered. 

"Shut up Speedy!" Todd snapped. "Xi I know you're a little nervous and stuff but you just can't sleep in the same bed as me. That's all." 

"Why?" Xi asked. "Is it bad?" 

"It's not bad," Todd grumbled. "It's just…inappropriate."

"Why?" Xi asked. "I am not initiating any mating ritual. I merely want to sleep next to you. What's wrong with that?" 

"Oh god," Lance groaned. "You really don't know anything but fighting do you?" 

"Stormshadow let me sleep next to him sometimes," Xi said.

"Okay way too much information here!" Fred balked. 

"Did you ever think that Althea might get jealous?" Pietro snickered.

"Why would she?" Xi asked. 

"Is he serious?" Lance asked. 

"Well Althea is Todd's girlfriend," Pietro spoke as if he was speaking to a small child. "And girlfriends usually don't like their boyfriends sleeping with other people. In any sense of the word." 

"So she might get mad if we stay in the same bed?" Xi asked. 

"Yes!" Pietro groaned. 

"Even if she knew about it?" Xi asked.

"What? You gonna go ask her?" Lance asked sarcastically. 

"Okay I'll ask her," Xi got up. 

"Oh for crying out loud!" Lance groaned. "He really isn't going to do that is he?" 

"He is," Todd groaned. "Xi! No! Get back here!" 

Too late. Xi left. "You're friend is really weird," Lance grumbled.

"Well that's what happens when you live in a lab all your life," Todd snapped. 

"Yeah I can see how that wouldn't help his social skills," Pietro grumbled.

Xi came back in. "She says it's okay. She said I could stay in her room but Wanda wasn't very happy with that for some reason." 

"I wonder why?" Pietro said sarcastically. 

"Look Xi if you're going to live with us guys you have to understand something!" Todd snapped. "Guys just don't sleep in the same bed with other guys!"

"Why?" 

"They just don't okay?" Todd said exasperated. "It's…It's just not what guys do!"

"Why?" 

"Why are you keep asking me why?" Todd groaned. "Please Xi stop asking me these questions and go to sleep?"

"Why is it bothering you that I'm asking questions?" Xi asked.

"AAAGGGGHHH!" Todd held his head in his hands. "Will somebody **please **explain it to him before I lose my mind?" 

Xi patted him on the head. "I don't mean to upset you. I just want to stay with you. I just don't understand why it's considered wrong." 

"It's gonna be a looooooonnnngggg night," Fred rolled his eyes. 

"Okay!" Lance got up. "That's it! Here's what we are going to do!" He started to move the beds together. "We are all going to sleep next to each other! Okay? Just so we can get some sleep around here!" 

"Lance you don't have to…" Todd said.

"Yes we do!" Lance snapped. "If we ever want to get any sleep around here! We'll have one of the adults explain it to him in the morning!"

"Fine with me," Fred complied. "Personally I think Xi isn't completely wrong. I mean we did used to all huddle together for warmth back on the farm during the winter." 

"Oh god no Blob not another demented farm story," Pietro groaned. "Besides Xi's already confused enough as it is!" 

They finally pushed together all the beds and went into them. Pietro was on the outside left followed by Lance, Todd, Xi and Fred. While the other guys tried not to get too close to each other, Xi innocently snuggled next to Todd. "Oh man," Todd groaned. "This is so weird."

"Look," Lance said. "We're just doing this once. You hear me Xi? Just once! Got it?"

"Okay," Xi sighed contentedly closing his eyes.

"The things I do for this group," Lance grumbled as he looked over.

"It's not all his fault," Todd explained. "He just don't know no better! He does get scared just like anybody else you know. He's just trying to fit in ya know?"

"Funny way of doing that," Lance muttered.

"Todd's the only thing I have close to family," Xi said. "I just want to stay close to my family. It feels safe." 

"Oh man," Pietro grumbled. "Half psycho, half little kid!" 

"Give him an ego the size of Montana and he'd be just like you Pietro," Fred snickered. 

"Shut up!" Pietro threw a pillow at him. 

"You shut up!" Fred threw a pillow back at him. It hit Lance instead. This caused a retaliatory strike that soon escalated into a full-blown pillow fight. 

"WHAT IS ALL THE NOISE?" Roadblock ran into the room and saw the scene. "What is going on here?"

"Well Xi wanted to sleep with Toad and even though Al told him it was okay to he still felt funny about it," Fred said. "So we all decided to sleep together and…"

"Never mind," Roadblock did an about face and went out. "I don't wanna know!" 


	41. Chaos in Cobra

**I'm sure you are all wondering what's going on in Cobra as all of this is happening? Well…**

**Chaos in Cobra**

From their New York headquarters the Crimson Guard Commanders, Xamot and Tomax ran their corporation of Extensive Enterprises. From here they worked on several different projects from buying and selling companies to maintaining funds as well as legal advice for Cobra. They also had the task of making sure the Cobra checkbooks were balanced. This was something they personally worked on. 

"This is impossible!" Xamot said.

"I agree!" Tomax nodded. "This checkbook actually balances!"

"Besides that," His twin groaned. "Although that is an oddity in itself. Take a look at all these margins. These are all the profits from selling those weapons to certain branches of the FOH. And here are all the totaled damages from our troops that have been secretly attacking the same FOH outposts. What is Cobra Commander doing selling them weapons and stealing them back?"

"This is Cobra Commander we are talking about," Tomax told him. "When has he ever been rational?" 

"But all of these statements don't make sense!" Xamot said. "He's transferred an enormous sum into several bank accounts. Most of them the Dreadnoks. And one I have never seen before." 

A beeping noise sounded on their desks. "Enter," Both twins said at the same time. In came two men in red uniforms from a secret door behind a bookcase.

"Crimson Guards 12 and 13?" Xamot blinked.

"What are you doing here?" Tomax said.

"Aren't you supposed to be guarding Cobra Commander?" They both said sternly.

"It's not our fault sirs," Crimson Guard 13 said. "Cobra Commander took us off detail permanently. It was his orders." 

"You were taken off detail?" Xamot asked. "Why?" 

"Cobra Commander replaced us," Crimson Guard 13 shrugged. "Maybe he figured out we were spying for you."

"That's impossible," Crimson Guard 12 said. "We haven't needed to send a report in for weeks. No one has noticed anything about us. Besides there's been nothing out of the ordinary going on. Unless you count him spending more and more time with Zartan."

"Zartan?" Xamot asked.

"Do tell," Tomax said.

"They've become real buddies lately," Crimson Guard 12 said. "You know how Cobra Commander always spends hours alone planning in his throne room? Not anymore."

"Yeah that Dreadnok is with him nearly 24-7," Crimson Guard 13 said. "I don't get it." 

"Neither do we," Both Xamot and Tomax said at the same time.

"What is…" Tomax said.

"He doing?" Xamot finished.

"Hmmm," Both of them looked at each other. Both were trying to make sense of it all. 

"Something just isn't…" Xamot started to say.

"Adding up," Tomax finished. "I agree. What is Cobra Commander doing?" 

************************************************************************

"Commander I don't understand this," Destro said to the monitor as he looked at the data before him. "These specifications are completely different than what the Pulsar Cannon was designed to do."

"I have decided to take the project in an entirely new direction," Cobra Commander told him. "I am sending an associate to assist you with the new modifications." 

"I have no need of an assistant," Destro huffed. "I am quite capable of…" 

"Spare me your male posturing," Cobra Commander waved. "I am simply sending someone to fill in the details of your mission. Actually she isn't really an assistant. More like a business partner." 

"Business partner?" Destro raised an eyebrow under his mask. "Why wasn't I informed of this sooner?" 

"Since when do I tell you of my decisions?" Cobra Commander asked.

"Since I was made second in command!" Destro snapped. "I've been stuck here in these mountains for over a month and…"

"Stop your whining Destro!" Cobra Commander hissed. "Your patience will be rewarded. Please look after your guest well. I think you will find her an interesting woman. You are to remain there until the project is completed. That is my order. Cobra Commander out!" The monitor shut off.

"Pompous Twit!" Destro snarled. 

"Lord Destro!" One of his guards saluted as he entered the room. "A chopper has landed with Alpha Clearance!" 

"That must be our guest," Destro said. "Well let's go meet her." They went to the landing field where he saw a stunning woman with pale skin and blonde hair wearing white. 

"I am Emma Frost," She said haughtily. "You must be Destro. I assume Cobra Commander has told you of my arrival and the purpose of my visit?"

"I just spoke with him," Destro told her. "Are you a scientist?"

"No, I am a businesswoman with very interesting hobbies," She grinned. 

Destro decided that it was best to play along for now. "I see," He grinned and bowed. "If you will permit me to escort you to someplace where you can freshen up. I will have more suitable arrangements made. If I had known you were coming sooner I would have prepared something to suit your tastes."

"Thank you," Emma raised an eyebrow. "I must admit that you are more receptive than I was expecting."

"I am nothing if not a gracious host," Destro snapped his fingers indicating his servants take her luggage. "Shall we?" He offered her his arm.

She seemed to debate for a second. "Very well," She took it. "I must admit however I hardly can expect much judging from the décor around here." She looked at the stone snakes and gargoyles adorning the castle distastefully.

"It is a trifle melodramatic isn't it?" Destro agreed. "Unfortunately Cobra Commander will insist on putting the Cobra logo on every thing he sees. I am not a man who belabors the obvious."

"Oh and what sort of man are you?" Emma asked.

"What sort of woman are you?" Destro asked. 

"One that knows when to get down to business and when to enjoy herself," She grinned. "Tell me do they serve dinner in this godforsaken place or do you have to go out and kill your own food."

"I can have my personal chefs create whatever you wish," Destro said. "What would you prefer? Italian? Japanese? Traditional Scottish Fare?" 

"Why don't you surprise me?" She told him. "You seem to be a man full of surprises."

"I'm not the only one," Destro said. "I take it you will tell me of our Dear Cobra Commander's latest scheme afterwards?" 

"In time," She said. "Tell me something, you don't really like Cobra Commander do you?"

"What I think of him is immaterial," Destro told her. "Personal feelings have no place in business."

"Or world domination," Emma nodded. "However I think I am going to like working with you Destro. Yes you are a very interesting man indeed."

"Your room will be that way," Destro pointed down the hall. "If you need anything ring the bell and one of the maids will assist you."

"See you at dinner," Emma smiled and left. 

Destro watched as the woman left. "What is on your mind Cobra Commander?" He muttered. "I think it's time I did a little background check on our Miss Frost."

************************************************************************

Copperhead shook his head in disgust as he watched Zanya and the Dreadnoks enjoy themselves in the officer's rec. room. Although his main function was to operate and maintain the equipment of all the swamp vehicles, he was also called in time and time again to become a temporary drill instructor for Cobra's new recruits. Whenever they managed to get any. 

His sentiment was shared by Scrap Iron, the Anti-Armor specialist. "Lousy mercenary scum," He muttered as he watched the Dreadnoks hoot and holler at the television.

"Look who's talking," Copperhead pointed out. "You sell your skills to whoever pays you."

"Correction," Scrap Iron said. "I sell my skills to whomever in **Cobra **pays me and can advance my career. There is a difference." 

"True," Copperhead nodded. "At least you don't betray the entire Cobra unit, just some of it's officers." 

"Well we are enlisted men," Scrap Iron pointed out. "We're in Cobra for the long hall! Unlike others I could mention." 

"Yeah. Time was a Dreadnok wouldn't dare waltz right into the main officer's areas," Copperhead grumbled. "Cobra's going to Hell in a handbasket. I'll tell you what!" 

"I hear you bro," Scrap Iron sighed. "There was a time when being an officer in one of the most feared terrorist organizations on earth meant something." 

"Well since I have nothing better to do I might as well join you bozos in your pity party," Firefly, Cobra's top saboteur walked in. He was covered from head to toe in a desert camouflage outfit. 

"Firefly?" Copperhead blinked. "What are you doing here? I thought Cobra Commander had sent you on that mission in London."

"He called me back at the last second," Firefly said bitterly. "Said he had someone else to do the job cheaper." 

"Cheaper?" Copperhead snapped. "You mean one of them muties!"

"Excuse me," Zanya had overheard that part of the conversation. "What did you just say?"

"I said muties you freak!" Copperhead snarled.

Immediately all the Dreadnoks ignored the TV and got up. They surrounded the three at the table. "Now this person didn't say what I think he just said now did he?" Ripper growled.

"I believe he did Ripper," Monkeywrench growled. "I believe he did. I think you owe the lass an apology." 

"Not very tolerant is he?" Buzzer asked. "Listen here, this little 'freak' is our boss. And nobody insults the Boss when we're around! Got it?" He held his chainsaw close to Copperhead's face. 

"Yeah," Torch sneered, drawing out his knife. "She's like our little princess and what she says goes! Now you know what we do to blokes who hurt our little princess's feelings, don't ya?" 

Copperhead looked around. Already Scrap Iron and Firefly had backed away. Copperhead couldn't blame them. Nobody ever wanted to tangle with an upset Dreadnok. "N…no…sir, I…I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it."

"As much as I'd love to see all of you tear each other to bits," An annoyed voice hovered by the doorway. "We're being summoned by Cobra Commander." They turned around and saw Dr. Mindbender with an annoyed look. "He wants us all in his throne room. For what I have no idea. I suggest you all go there post haste. You can finish playing later." He left the room. 

"We'll finish this later," Zanya growled. "Come on boys." The Dreadnoks followed her out. 

"Come on," Firefly said. "We'd better go too." 

Copperhead grumbled. "Wonder what the Head Snake wants this time?" 

"Who cares?" Scrap Iron said. "He saved your hide." 

They entered the throne room. "Where is he?" Mindbender grumbled. "You'd think he'd show up to his own meeting!"

"I'm coming Mindbender," Cobra Commander walked out of his personal chamber. "Keep your cape on. I was delayed." 

Zartan followed Cobra Commander out of his personal chamber. To everyone's horror his fly was opened. Zartan quickly noticed and zipped it up again. 

"Uh did you just see what I did?" Copperhead whispered into Mindbender's ear.

"No!" Mindbender hissed. "And you didn't see it either! Shut up you fool!" 

"I knew a Dreadnok would do anything to get paid," Firefly whispered to Scrap Iron. "But even that…"

"Okay it's official," Scrap Iron gulped. "I have just learned that I have some standards." 

"Is there a reason for this meeting _Commander?_" Zanya asked in a bored voice. "I'm sure you are very busy. Wouldn't want to take up too much of your valuable time." At this the Dreadnoks chuckled. 

"Yes I'd like you to meet my new bodyguard," Cobra Commander smiled as the door opened and a huge familiar figure stepped out. "Say hello to Sabertooth. I'm sure you'll all be very good friends." 

"Sabertooth," Mindbender blinked. "Wasn't he with the Brotherhood and Magneto's gang?"

"Formerly of the Brotherhood," Cobra Commander told him. "He now works for me. As well as a few other associates from the Brotherhood." 

Another figure stepped out from the shadows. "Hello mates," Pyro grinned. "Glad to join the team." 

"Pyro here is a mutant with fire wielding capabilities," Cobra Commander explained. "And one of our first officer recruits."

"OFFICER?" Copperhead balked. "THAT KID?" 

"Yes Copperhead," Cobra Commander sounded annoyed. "As part of our new policy to promote mutants within the ranks. We need new blood. The mutants will be it. As of now Cobra will now assist all mutants in claiming their place as the dominant species of the world. And Cobra will guide and rule them!" 

The officers stood there in shock. "I have a bad feeling about this," Mindbender gulped. 

"Yeah I wouldn't want to be you," Copperhead told him. 

As Cobra Commander outlined the plan to recruit mutants, Sabertooth and Pyro moved to the back so they could speak. "Are we really going along with Mystique's plan?" Pyro whispered.

"Just until we find Magneto," Sabertooth grunted. 

"You think she knows?" Pyro asked.

"If she doesn't she'll find out," Sabertooth narrowed his eyes. "She's like that. Just play along until we find out what happened." 


	42. Plots, Plots and More Plots

**Plots, Plots and More Plots**

Back at the Pit, General Hawk was having a weekly briefing with his command staff, Duke, Flint and Beach Head. Mainframe, their computer expert was there as well giving them the data he had found on Cobra's activities.

"So as you can see sir," Mainframe pointed to the data. "According to the evidence there is no doubt that Cobra is responsible for destroying the Dallas branch of the FOH headquarters." 

"But wasn't Cobra sending some armed shipments to that area only a few months ago?" Duke asked.

"That's right," Mainframe nodded. 

"Wait a minute," Beach Head looked at the files. "First Cobra arms these FOH branches, then all of the sudden they attack them and destroy them? Why? I mean what is their game?"

"Good question," Mainframe nodded. "Here's another interesting tidbit, I managed to find this on the net. Take a look."

On the screen was a Cobra recruitment website. However there was something odd on the screen. **Mutants of the World Unite! Join Cobra! Great pay and opportunity for advancement for mutants. **The majority of the web page was on how Cobra believed in the superiority of mutantkind and it was time for mutants to take control of their destiny by joining Cobra. 

"Cobra is trying to recruit mutants?" Duke asked. "It's gotta be a trick of some kind." 

"If it is, it's a doozy," Hawk said. His pager beeped. He looked at the number. "Damn! I need to take this. I'll be back." 

He left the meeting room and went to his office. There he saw General Flagg waiting for him. "I take it this isn't a social call?" 

"I'm afraid not," Flagg sighed. "This has to do with your 'special project.'"

"Which one?" Hawk smiled.

"The mutants," Flagg handed him a sheet of paper. "I managed to intercept this document. But somehow others got through…"

Hawk read it. "I don't believe it! I could have sworn we had this under tight security!"

"Not tight enough," Flagg shook his head. 

"Who knows?" Hawk said.

"Only the people who matter the most," Flagg said. 

"The Jugglers," Hawk sighed. "I know some of them already knew but…" 

"The Jugglers all know now," Flagg sighed. "And there's quite a bit of discord within the ranks. Ever since the big shake up they don't like keeping secrets from each other. At least the older members. They've called a special meeting about what to do with the kids. Three guesses who leaked the information." 

"Bragg," Hawk growled as he crumpled the paper in his hands.

************************************************************************

"Come in Firefly, I have an assignment for you," Cobra Commander said.

"I am at your service Cobra Commander," Firefly said as he entered the throne room. "What do you want me to do?"

"Do you remember the X-Men?" Zartan asked. 

"Those mutants the Baroness tried to capture?" Firefly asked. "Yes. What about them?" 

"They have become a thorn in my side. I want you to destroy the X-Mansion," Cobra Commander ordered. 

"This will take time," Firefly said. "Not only to find a way around the security system but to deal with any freaks that come after me."

"Here are some plans and bios of the mutants," Cobra Commander tossed him a disk. "I will give you exactly one month to do the job. I suggest you start right away." 

Firefly nodded and left. Cobra Commander changed back into Mystique. "You're going to have the X-Mansion blown up again?" Zartan asked.

"If at first you don't succeed," She grinned. "Try and try again."

************************************************************************ 

"Well Destro I must admit that was actually a pleasant dinner," Emma finished her glass of wine. "To tell you the truth I wasn't expecting such an excellent repast."

"I'm glad it pleased you," Destro said.

"First thing that did since I came to this dump," She sighed. "I even got bit by a damn mosquito in my quarters."

"Yes there are a lot of annoying insects that we must contend with," Destro nodded. "But now to business. The sooner we finish the project, the sooner we can vacate this god forsaken place." 

"Agreed," Emma nodded. "I take it you have looked over the plans for the improvements in the pulsar cannon?"

"Yes," Destro said. "As well as the new source of energy. I must admit I am impressed. I thought the gems of Cytorak were but a myth."

"They are very real," Emma told him. "Once the modifications are finished, Cobra will have an extremely powerful laser."

"Yes but why bother with a simple laser?" Destro leaned forward. "When they can do so much more?" 

"I take it you are referring to the ancient legend of ultimate power?" Emma asked.

"More like the genetic enhancements they can give to the human body," Destro said. "You can create a superhuman army with them."

"Unfortunately the gems' effects are…shall we say too unstable," Emma told him. 

"I see," Destro fingered his wineglass. "I'd like to see the research on them sometime if I may. Just out of curiosity." 

"Oh?" Emma raised an eyebrow.

"Still if it is as you say perhaps you are correct in using the gems as weapons instead of biological enhancers," Destro told her.

"If it was feasible don't you think I would have used it on myself?" Emma asked.

"Did you?" He grinned. 

"What do you think?" Emma purred.

"I think," Destro leaned so that his face was right near Emma's. "That you are a very fascinating woman." 

"Well," She grinned. "Tell me something is it true that you and the Baroness are…?"

"We're…temporarily separated if that's what you mean," Destro grinned. "However I am a man who believes in keeping business and pleasure separated." 

"I don't know," Emma grinned. "Mixing business with pleasure can be fun sometimes. Do you always wear that mask?"

"It's a family tradition," Destro told her. "A very long old story that can wait for another time. Perhaps when we get to know each other better." 

"You don't believe in rushing things do you?"

"It is my experience that the greatest pleasures are the ones that you wait for," He kissed her hand. "It makes one appreciate them better. As well as savor them. If you'll excuse me I must retire for now. I have some minor staffing concerns that I must attend to."

"Ah yes," Emma nodded. "Putting the fear of god into the hired help is a bore sometimes. No matter how much fun it is scaring the stuffing out of them." 

"Until tomorrow," Destro bowed. "I bid you adieu." He left the room.

Emma relaxed in her chair. _Well this one is a tough nut to crack, _She thought to herself. _I can't scan his mind. Must be his blasted helmet. No matter. He doesn't know I'm a mutant and he is only a man after all. I'll have him eating out of my hand in no time. And when he finds out what the real plans for the Pulsar Cannon are for, it will be too late. _

Meanwhile Destro had retired to his secret lab. "I take it the DNA retrieval was a success?" He asked his assistant.

"Yes sir," He smiled. "Those tiny little metal bugs are very handy."

"Good, remind me to congratulate Scrap Iron for creating them. Computer activate Bio Scanner," Destro said. "Subject Emma Frost. This will tell me if there is anything else I need to know."

"According to her file she is what she says she is," His assistant said.

"Yes she does have a very impressive business record," He scanned the folder. "But my instincts tell me that there is much more to her than meets the eye. Ah the computer has tallied the data." 

"Sir according to this she's X-Gene positive," His assistant said. "She's a mutant! Identifying her gene traits now. This will tell us what her powers are." The data soon showed up on screen. 

"It seems our Ms. Frost is a telepath," Destro muttered to himself. "Good thing my mask has a special built in shield for deflecting telepathy. Now the question is, what exactly is she doing here? And whose side is she really on? 


	43. Quality Time Can Be Fun

**Okay more fluffy fun with the gang! Fluff is so much fun! **

**Quality Time Can Be Fun**

Low Light staggered into the kitchen. He had been up half the night because it was his turn to watch the baby and just his luck Claudius had been coming down with a slight cold. Normally staying up at night wouldn't have bothered him but he had already been up nearly two days in a row. Plus now he felt like he had caught the baby's cold. Needless to say his mood was considerably less cheerful than it usually was. 

"Hi Low Light!" Todd said in a very cheerful voice when he staggered in. "How's it going?"

"Shut up or die," Low Light growled. 

"Don't you mind Low Light," Roadblock waved. Althea and Xi were also in the kitchen. "He ain't feeling right."

"That is putting it mildly," Low Light grumbled. "I am probably coming down with pneumonia or something that will probably either kill me or put me in the hospital."

"Oh don't exaggerate," Althea waved. "All you have is a little cold. Why are men such babies when it comes to these things?" 

"What are you three doing here?" Low Light moaned. "Besides learning how to have any lack of sympathy for the dying?" 

"We're going to learn how to bake a cake!" Todd said cheerfully. 

"I must admit I find this interesting," Xi said. 

"Hey it was either this or makeup lessons with the twins," Althea told him. 

"Makeup lessons?" Low Light asked.

"Cover Girl is giving a makeup lesson," Althea told him. "To Fred and Pietro. Wanda's there helping. Don't ask."

"I wasn't going to!" Low Light groaned. 

Just then the triplets bounced in. "Hello!" Brittany sang.

"What are you three doing here?" Roadblock asked. "I thought you were hanging around with your father?" 

"We were," Daria said. "But then he decided to take a nap." 

"When?" Roadblock asked.

"When he hit his head on a tree," Quinn said simply. 

"I'm not even gonna ask," Roadblock sighed. "Do you want to help us with this task?"

"I'm gonna take a nap," Low Light sighed. "Before I feel any worse!" 

"Oh really?" Quinn looked at him. "You're sick are you?"

"Girls I think we have a patient," Brittany grinned.

"Oh no," Low Light gulped. "No…No I'm fine! Really! I'm fine!" 

"We'll take care of him!" Daria said pushing Low Light towards the door.

"No, please somebody help me!" Low Light pleaded as the Triplets dragged him away. 

"For God's sake girls don't kill him!" Roadblock called out. "Well back to baking!"

"I must admit that this interests me," Xi said. "I have never given much thought to food preparations before. This will be interesting to learn."

"Baking is a very important skill," Roadblock said. "Now those pans we'll start to fill." He took out some flour. "First we measure the flour. Go on Xi, you try."

Xi did so. So did Althea and Todd with their pans. However Todd spilled his a little. "Hey watch it!" Althea remarked when Todd spilled a little on her sleeve. She tossed some flour onto him. 

"You watch it!" Todd took some flour and threw a tiny bit into her face. 

"Hey you could have hurt me with that!" Althea snapped. She grabbed a handful of flour and tossed it back at him.

"All I did was toss a little of this!" Todd tossed a small pinch. "You're the one who overreacted and did this!" He tossed a huge scoop of flour at her. 

Xi blinked through the flour dust. "This is how you bake?"

"Not really no," Roadblock groaned. "Kids will you cut it out!"

"She started it!" Todd pointed.

"He started it!" Althea pointed at the same time. 

"I did not!" Todd snapped. 

"Yes you did!" Althea snapped. "You started throwing the flour!" 

"No I didn't I just spilled some," Todd said. "You were the one who started to throw the flour!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!" 

"Did too!"

"Did…HEY!" Althea gasped when Xi threw some flour at her. Then Xi threw some flour at Todd.

"Hey Xi what did you do that for?" Todd snapped. 

"You both started it," Xi said.

"Oh yeah?" Althea grabbed some flour.

"Yeah!" Todd grabbed some flour as well and got a mischievous glint in his eye. 

"Here we go," Roadblock sighed. "I don't like that look in their eyes, you better disappear Xi!" 

Xi turned invisible just as the two of them tossed the flour. However some of it landed on Xi making part of him visible. "FLOUR FIGHT!" Todd cried out. 

"Oh what the heck," Roadblock sighed as he grabbed some flour. "Wouldn't be the first time the kitchen was a wreck!" He started tossing the flour around as well. Soon everyone and everything was covered in flour. 

After a while Shipwreck wobbled in. He took a look at the state of the kitchen and the combatants covered in white. "What happened here?" He asked.

"Well we didn't get any baking done," Roadblock smirked. "But we did have a lot of fun." 

"I can see that," Shipwreck looked around. "Cover Girl is having a party of her own with Blob, Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch. They're all giving each other facials and doing each other's nails. And when I left I saw Tauros getting into the act. It's getting weird there." 

"Oh by the way," Althea said. "Low Light's not feeling well so the Triplets are playing doctor." 

"Oh goody. Where is Lance and Spirit?" Shipwreck asked. "I haven't seen either of them since last night." 

"Lance is out with Spirit on survival training as well as other stuff," Roadblock said. "They won't be back for a few days." 

"What is he doing?" Shipwreck asked.

"Some kind of vision quest," Roadblock shrugged. "It's supposed to help him with his powers as well as train him." 

"Well that sounds like a lot of fun," Shipwreck sighed. "What doesn't is rescuing Low Light from the clutches of the Evil Ones."

"Well we'd all better get up there and stop them before they kill 'em," Althea sighed as she got up.

"What about this mess?" Roadblock asked.

"We'll clean it up as soon as we get back," Althea said. "On second thought Todd you go help my dad while we start cleaning up the kitchen. It'll be faster that way."

"You have a point," Roadblock smirked. 

Todd trudged upstairs with Shipwreck, leaving little trails of flour as he went. "Well here we go," Shipwreck grumbled. "Prepare yourself for a shock." He opened the door. "Oh my!"

Low Light lay there on his bed peacefully asleep. He was also wearing only his boxers. The girls were standing around in little doctor outfits. "What is it with you girls and stripping guys?" Shipwreck groaned.

"We have to give him his sponge bath," Daria said.

"Oh no you don't!" Shipwreck snapped. 

"Shhh! Don't disturb our patient," Quinn said. "He's sleeping."

Todd checked up on him. "Hey he is asleep! You didn't give him any drugs or anything did you?"

"Certainly not!" Brittany sniffed. "Our treatments are all natural."

"All natural?" Todd raised an eyebrow. 

"Well it's pretty natural to be unconscious if you're hit by a mallet," Daria told him as she held up a little rubber mallet. 

"He wouldn't go to sleep anyway," Quinn told them. 

"Well I think right now you three better let him rest and go help clean up in the kitchen," Shipwreck ordered. "Come on kid, we'd better make sure he's okay." 

Just then Sarge walked in. "Okay what's with all the flour?" He asked. He took a look at Todd. "Never mind. And what happened to Low Light?"

"The triplets," Shipwreck told him. 

Just then Pietro zoomed in with his face in a green mask. "Hey anybody else want a free facial? It turns out Blob's real good at doing it! He also did my toenails as well!"

Sarge shook his head. "This place is getting weirder every day!" 

"This is nothing," Shipwreck told him. "You should see how they are when they're really hyper!" 

**Up next, Lance undergoes a grueling physical and mental ritual. As well as some torments by an unexpected guest! **


	44. Vision Quest

**Vision Quest**

The day before Spirit told Lance that they were going on a journey. They walked for a day before coming to an isolated spot near a hill. "What is this?" Lance asked.

"This is where you must go on a journey," Spirit told him. "A vision quest. You are in need of guidance I cannot give. You must ask the Creator for that."

"I…I don't know," Lance said. "I've never really prayed much before. I don't even know if I even believe in…well…" 

"That is why you are here," Spirit told him. "You have a connection with the earth that goes beyond your powers. But you cannot reach your full potential until you understand yourself."

Lance looked at him. "What do I have to do?" 

"Set up camp here while I prepare," Spirit told him. "You will learn when the time is right." 

Lance did so, setting up the tent and preparing a small fire. It was well after dark when Spirit came back. "The camp's all set. So does this Vision Quest thing begin now?"

"No," Spirit told him. "Not yet. Right now you must rest. Tomorrow will be a long and hard day." 

Lance did as he was told. After dinner he went to bed in the tent. He fell asleep almost immediately. The next thing he knew, Spirit was shaking him awake.

"Spirit?" Lance muttered sleepily. "What's going on?" 

"It is time to go," Spirit told him. He held a blanket on one arm. 

"Now?" He blinked as he woke to darkness. "It's still dark out." 

"Come," Spirit told him. Lance did as he was told and followed him outside. 

"Spirit?" Lance rubbed his eyes. "Is this part of my training? What do you want me to do?" 

Spirit pointed to the hill. "Upon the hill there is a circle made of stones. The circle represents the circle of life, with no beginning and no end. That is where you must be."

"For how long?" Lance asked.

"As long as it takes. You must go to the hill and sit within the sacred area," Spirit told him what to do. "During this period of time you will not have any food or water or clothing. You must be as you came into the world, naked, having nothing but this blanket to protect yourself. Within the circle you must sit and pray. Pray until it physically hurts you. Ask for guidance. Ask for healing. Ask for your purpose in this world. In time, the spirits will guide you." 

"Are you serious?" Lance blinked. "You are. Will this really work?"

"That is up to you," Spirit told him handing him the blanket. "Go. I will collect you when the time is right." He went inside the tent. 

Lance stood there and put the blanket down. He stripped off his clothing, putting them into a neat pile. He even removed his boots and socks and underwear. Shivering slightly he wrapped the blanket around him and looked up into the morning sky. Dawn was beginning to break. He walked up the hill, more than a little nervous of what he would find. Or what he wouldn't find. 

He managed to find the circle on the top of the hill, illuminated by several torches. "I must be crazy," Lance said. "But…well here goes nothing." He knelt down within the circle. 

"Okay," He gulped. "Here goes. I'm not good at this. I've rarely ever prayed before. I'm not even sure that I even believe that there's someone or something out there. But if there is…please listen to me. I need help. Now more than ever. Of course so far I haven't exactly had a great track record with divine intervention. I mean take a look at my life for crying out loud! For as long as I can remember I've been abandoned and abused. How…how could anyone let that happen to a kid? How could you? Didn't you care? Not that it wouldn't surprise me if you didn't. Story of my life. But now…I don't know. Things are different. I'm different in more ways than one." 

Silence answered him. "I would never have asked this before. So I'm asking you now," Lance said his voice a small plea. "Help me. Please listen to me and help me. I'm weak. I realize that now. I don't want to stay this way. I want to change but I don't know how. I don't even know if I can. Help me. Please. Help me." 

He knelt there, silently praying. He stayed like that long after the sun had risen. He waited and waited. As it grew hotter Lance allowed the blanket to slip from his shoulders past his hips. And still he waited. 

Time still passed. The hot sun beat down upon Lance as he knelt within the circle of stones upon the blanket. He struggled to remain awake as he felt the heat oppress him. Still he waited without complaint, still quietly praying for guidance. 

More time passed. It grew even hotter as the sun made its journey across the sky. Lance sank under the heat. He fell forward, collapsing on his elbows. "Help me…" He whispered softly. "Please help me…" 

"Well if you wanted help why didn't you say so?" A familiar voice rang out. 

"What?" Lance sat up and looked around. "I know that voice! Who's there?"

"Over here! No over here!" The voice sang out around him. Lance looked around wildly. Then he found himself face to face with the individual. Or rather, face to snout. 

"Hi Lance!" The Coyote said cheerfully. "I'm ba-ack!" 

"Oh no," Lance moaned. "Not you. Anything but you! What are you doing here?"

"I told you I was your spirit guide," The Coyote said. "You don't listen very well do you?" 

"Why did I end up with an insane coyote spirit that sounds exactly like Pietro?" Lance groaned. "Haven't I been tortured enough?" 

"Apparently not," The Coyote said. "So how's tricks?" 

"Oh just peachy!" Lance snarled. "I'm sitting here in the desert naked and dying of dehydration just to find some guidance in my pathetic life! What do you think?" 

"Oh yeah," The Coyote nodded. "The old vision quest thing. That's always such fun. Now let's see, what is it that I need to tell you?" He whipped out a notebook. "Let me review my notes." 

"Oh God," Lance put his head into his hands. 

"He's busy. So pay attention," The Coyote said. 

"I can't wait to hear this," Lance grumbled. "You were **such** a help the last time!" 

"Oh come on now," The Coyote said. "Other than nearly dying a couple of times and being forced to relive a few very painful memories it wasn't that bad!"

"Are you crazy?" Lance snapped. "No wait, **he's** a figure of my imagination. **I'm **the one who's crazy! Wonderful! So this is what it's like to lose your mind. Ha!" 

"Ahem!" The Coyote sniffed. "Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country…No wait that was somebody else," He kept flipping through the notes. "Hang on I'm sure you're in here somewhere." 

"Well if I ever needed proof that my life was one big joke this is it!" Lance shouted. 

"Hey I'm doing the best I can!" The Coyote snapped. 

"Oh that really fills me with confidence!" Lance snapped back. "Will you just tell me some words of wisdom already and get me out of here?" 

"Okay how about don't stay out in the sun too long without any sunscreen?" The Coyote snickered.

"I'm serious," Lance frowned. "Frightening as that sounds I need some help."

"Well that's pretty obvious." 

"Look are you actually going to help me or are you just going to sit there insulting me?" Lance snapped. 

"Hey let's face it," The Coyote said. "You are a fun target. But seriously let's get right down to the nitty gritty! You have come seeking guidance on what to do with your pathetic life so I shall help you."

"That will be a first," Lance grumbled. 

"So let's talk!" The Coyote lay face down and put its face in its paws. "Let's hear the scoop on you and Kitty!" 

"Oh for crying out loud!" Lance snapped. 

"Well why not? You keep moaning about her anyway!" The Coyote told him. "Why did you stay so stuck on her for so long?"

"I don't know," Lance sighed. "I just thought that she really cared about me. But I guess I was too much trouble for her."

"Well you're a lot of trouble for him," The Coyote pointed behind him. "But he still cares about you." 

"Huh?" Lance looked behind him. In the distance he could see a fire down below. 

"He's been sitting there praying for you since you got here," The Coyote told him. "And he's not the only one worried. Your lunatic friends are worried about you too. Think about it Rockhead, they're here with you. They always will be. I'm not gonna talk in riddles because they'll pass over your head. You kept holding onto Kitty because you wanted someone special to care about you. That's why you did all those stupid things just to get some attention. As corny as it sounds, what you've always wanted was a family to love you. I think you've finally found it. Don't screw it up."

"I do love them," Lance shook his head. "It's crazy. They're all maniacs."

"Well you're not exactly a modicum of sanity yourself," The Coyote went to leave. "Just think about it okay?"

"I guess Kitty never really loved me at all," Lance sighed.

"I don't know about that," The Coyote made a mischievous grin. "Sure she's with The Tin Man now, but when she thought you were in danger she dropped everything to help you. Think about it."

Lance sat there stunned. "Of course I wouldn't hold your breath waiting for her to come back to you," The Coyote told him. " Just keep your eyes and options open for now. Maybe there will be a day when she will come back. Or a day when you don't want her back. Maybe you'll find something better. See ya around sucker!" The Coyote disappeared. 

Lance knelt there, staring into oblivion. He remained like that until the sun went down. Spirit came up the hill and found him curled into a ball, the blanket wrapped around his body. Spirit knelt next to him and gently roused him. He placed a canteen near his lips and allowed the boy to drink. Slowly Lance came to some sort of awakened state. 

Weakly Lance managed to get to his feet, barely keeping the blanket around him. He slumped into Spirit's arms as he helped him down the hill. He felt another pair of arms take hold of him. It was Stormshadow. 

They took him to an awaiting jeep and placed him inside. The campsite had been cleaned and packed. Soon they drove off. Lance lay in the backseat, pulling the blanket close to his body. His mind still reeling from his experience. 

Not long after they came upon a cavern. They stopped the jeep and helped Lance out of the vehicle. He saw the Blind Master at the entrance.

"Everything is prepared inside," The Blind Master told him. 

Spirit nodded. "I will take him in myself. This part is between the two of us."

They nodded and allowed Spirit to lead Lance inside. Soon Lance found himself near a strange cavern with a roaring fire and a bubbling spring. "Another hot spring?" Lance blinked. "Boy you guys have them everywhere don't you?" 

"Sit," Spirit told him, pointing to the edge of the bonfire. "Now you must tell me of your vision."

"It wasn't exactly what I expected," Lance obeyed. He told him everything that happened. "Lame huh?" 

"No," Spirit shook his head. "Actually it's pretty direct in it's own way. What have you learned from this experience?"

"Well besides the fact that I'm more messed up than I thought," Lance sighed. "I've learned that what I truly desire I now have."

"But that is not enough is it?" Spirit told him. 

"No," Lance sighed. "Please help me Sensei. I need guidance." 

"And thus it begins," Spirit nodded. 

Spirit spoke with him more that night and taught him songs of healing. When hours had passed, then Lance was given a simple tea to drink. Finally he was allowed to bathe in the hot spring and change into a pair of clothes. He wore a black shirt and pants and a tan jacket. 

He felt stronger, more in control of himself. He nodded to Spirit and they left the cavern. The sun was starting to rise again. Stormshadow and The Blind Master were waiting for them. "How do you feel?" The Blind Master asked.

"Not bad," Lance told him. "A bit tired though."

"That's to be expected," Stormshadow told him.

"Are all vision quests like that?" Lance asked.

"Actually most of them are much longer," Spirit told him. "But we felt for you a day would be sufficient as your beginning." 

"Oh so it's gonna get harder huh?" Lance groaned. "Wonderful."

"Come on now," Spirit handed him the blanket he wore. "It's time we went back. There will be a celebration waiting for us. It is traditional after a vision quest to have a gathering of family and friends to welcome you back to the world after your rebirthing. Take this blanket and give it to someone who has helped you greatly."

"Will you take it?" Lance asked offering it to him. 

Spirit smiled. "Although it is traditional to give gifts to the shaman I cannot accept it. It is a gift enough to train you. You must give it to someone who has helped you greatly among your journey. I appreciate the offer though." 

"Oh, I understand," Lance nodded. "I have to give it to one of my friends who's helped me the most. I get it." 

Spirit patted him on the shoulder. "Let's go. They'll be waiting for us." 

They went to the jeep and they drove back to the Slaughterhouse. There they found all the inhabitants waiting for them. "SURPRISE!" They all shouted out. There were some decorations and food. 

"Wow look at all this stuff," Lance looked around. "This is a real party!"

"Yeah let's get this party swinging!" Pietro turned on the radio and started to dance. 

"Party! Party! Party!" The Renegades sang out. 

"Who wants smoothies?" Tauros shouted out.

"Ooh! I want some!" Shipwreck called out. 

As everyone was clamoring for food and drinks, Spirit gave Lance some broth to eat. "Wow I can't believe you guys went to all this trouble for me," Lance said as he sipped his broth. 

"We tried to make a cake for you," Todd said. "But that kinda didn't work so we got ice cream and cookies instead! Want some?"

"No thanks," Lance waved. "I'm fine with this," He pointed to his broth. 

"That's all you're going to have?" Todd asked. 

"Yeah, I really don't feel up to eating much," Lance told him. 

"His system can't take much after what he's been through," Spirit told him. 

"That's okay," Todd nodded. "We'll save it for him. If Freddy doesn't eat it all." 

"I will not!" Fred said with his mouth full. 

Lance then felt very tired and dizzy. "Hey is it okay if I just sit outside for a bit?" Lance asked. Sprit nodded and helped him outside. There were several lawn chairs that had been put out there and he helped him into one of them. "Thanks."

"Do you want me to sit with you?" Spirit asked.

"Nah," Lance shook his head. He was still holding the blanket. "I'll be okay. Just want to think for a bit. That's all."

Spirit nodded and went back inside. Lance took a deep breath and relaxed. He looked up at the stars in the sky and started to think about his experience. Not long after others noticed that the guest of honor was not in the party. 

"Hey," Wanda walked up to him. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah," Lance nodded. "Look at all the stars up there. I never saw so many. Even all the time we were up in Asteroid M I never really noticed." 

"Yeah there are a lot of 'em aren't there?" Todd hopped out and crouched next to Lance. 

"Yeah," Wanda looked up. "I love looking at the stars. It's just so peaceful. Back in…the hospital I almost never saw them. When I did…" She sighed. 

"Makes you feel kinda small doesn't it?" Todd asked. 

"Well you're always small," Lance smirked. He took a playful swipe at Todd.

Todd ducked and playfully punched him. "Ha ha, so Mister Funny Man, did you discover anything on your spiritual journey or did you get lost?"

"Actually I did," Lance told him. "It's…kind of dumb."

"Please tell me it had nothing to do with Kitty," Wanda groaned.

"In a way it did," Lance said. "All my life I've felt so empty. Now I don't feel that way anymore. I realized what I wanted more than anything was having someone who loved me. Stupid huh?"

"Nah," Todd shook his head. "Just totally insane." 

"Yeah well," Lance sighed. "I've never been…happy before. Even when all of you nuts are driving me crazy…it just feels right. Like we're a family. I don't know how it happened. I guess I just got used to all of you. I even like Xi a little." 

"Well we've all been through so much," Todd shrugged. "Hey you remember the day the two of us first met?"

"How could I forget?" Lance laughed. 

"What happened?" Wanda asked.

"Let's just say Mystique found out the hard way its not a good idea to leave the Toad unsupervised for very long," Lance laughed. 

"I hate to admit it but I've actually become quite fond of you clowns," Wanda sat down on a chair nearby. "When I first met you I thought you were the biggest idiots on the planet."

"And now?" Lance asked.

"Now I **know **you are the biggest idiots on the planet," She said. "But you guys kind of grew on me. Even you Toad."

"Little late," Althea walked up. "He's mine." She gave Todd a big hug from behind. 

"Aw babe," Todd blushed. 

"Hey Toad. Here," Lance handed Todd his blanket. "I want you to have this." 

"Really?" Todd asked. "For me?" 

"Yeah I want you to have it," Lance said. "In a way, I owe my life to you. We all do. I mean if you hadn't found the Joes, they'd probably have never crossed paths with us. We'd never be here."

"He's got a point," Wanda said. 

"I can't imagine my life now without you," Althea said.

"Wow, thanks pal," Todd said. "That really means somethin'. Ya know?" 

"Yeah," Lance yawned. 

"You okay?" Todd asked.

"Yeah I'm fine," Lance told him. "Just a little tired, that's all."

"Hey what's everybody doing out here?" Pietro zipped outside. Fred followed him. 

"Just taking a rest," Althea said. 

"Lance where are you?" Quinn called out.

"Here he is!" Daria said. Soon all three triplets were outside.

"What's going on?" Xi asked. "Why are you all outside?"

"Just looking at the stars Xi," Lance told him. 

"Okay!" Quinn sat down on Lance's lap. "We'll look together!" 

"Me too!" Daria climbed on the other side of Lance. "Good thing these things are big and sturdy!"

"Will you two maniacs knock it off!" Althea snapped. 

"Oh leave them alone," Lance waved. "I don't mind. They're not bothering me." 

Quinn stuck her tongue out as she snuggled next to Lance. "Nyahhh!" 

"I thought you liked me?" Pietro asked.

"I do," Quinn said. "But I'm too young to be tied down to one guy."

"I'll stay with you Pietro!" Brittany squealed as she pounced on top of Pietro. 

"Wanna piggy back ride?" Pietro asked.

"YEAH!" Brittany whooped as Pietro ran around the house a few times. "That was fun! I'm dizzy, but it's fun!" 

All the kids sat down on either the grass or the ground. "This is nice," Todd yawned as he lay back in Althea's arms. 

"Can we all just stay like this tonight?" Lance asked them. "It just feels, I dunno, the right thing to do. Being with my family out under the stars." 

"It's not so bad out," Wanda said. "I think we can do it." 

Althea got up and Todd fell down on the ground. "Hey!" 

"Relax! I just want to make sure these guys are okay," Althea told him as she pulled a blanket over Lance and her two sisters. "Couple of blankets ought to do it." 

Pietro nodded and zipped inside. He came back out with some blankets and pillows. Brittany squealed with delight as she snuggled on one side of Pietro. Wanda laughed and cuddled next to her brother. Fred lay down flat on the ground next to Lance's chair. 

Xi innocently snuggled next to Wanda. "It does feel right. And safe." 

"Well I'm certainly safe next to you Xi," Wanda chuckled. 

"You've never been that tolerant when I ever tried to get close to you?" Todd frowned.

"Yeah well Xi isn't the hormone crazed idiot you are," She told him. 

The adults inside were enjoying their time away from the kids. Roadblock and Shipwreck watched them from inside the house. "Look at them," Roadblock motioned. 

"Yeah they are kind of cute when they ain't destroying half the landscape," Shipwreck noted. "Well that trip out in the desert seemed to do Lance a lot of good." 

"And it did the kids some good as well," Roadblock told him. "Maybe for once things are going our way." 


	45. A Meeting With The Jugglers

**And now, here's a glimpse of what my version of the Jugglers look like…**

**A Meeting with the Jugglers**

In a secret building hidden away from the prying eyes of the world General Hawk fidgeted in his full dress uniform. "Don't know why I have to wear these damn things," He muttered. "It's not like the public can see any of this or anything." 

"It's a formality Hawk," General Flagg told him. "Besides we are now members of the Jugglers, well lower level members anyway."

"Yeah it's the head honchos I'm worried about," Hawk sighed. He knew there were two levels of the Jugglers. He and Flagg were Epsilon Jugglers. There were only about twenty or so of them. They were in charge of only the most secret of bases and the highest security risks. They also kept a pulse on what was happening not only within the different branches of the armed forces but what was going on in the world as well.

The real Jugglers with the power were the Omega Jugglers. There were only a select few of them that made the decisions of how to deal with certain situations and run the armed forces. Sometimes they also made decisions on how to run the government as well. None of the Epsilons knew what the Omegas looked like since they were always in darkened rooms with voice changing apparatus and used different names as well. 

True this new batch of Omegas was not as selfish as the previous incarnations and a bit more patriotic. But they still were very powerful and tended to be very interested in increasing their secret finical status. It made Hawk nervous. Very nervous. He prayed he was able to convince them that what he was doing was the right thing.

The doors opened and General Bragg swaggered out. "They're ready for you now," He sneered. 

Hawk said nothing, which was just as well because what he wanted to say and do to Bragg would have probably gotten him arrested. Instead he and Flagg walked in. They stood at attention in front of the bench. The nine figures sat there, hidden in the shadows. Their forms were barely outlined in the dark. 

"This hearing of the Jugglers Omega is now continued," General White spoke. "Generals White, Black, Brown, Green, Blue, Orange, Gold, Silver, and Red are present. We will now hear from Epsilons Hawk and Flagg on the mutant issue." 

"General Hawk it has come to our attention that you are now possess in your custody several mutants," General Brown spoke. "Including those who were born at the Pit."

"Some of us knew about this longer than others," General Orange snapped.

"Orange!" White told him.

"Well I am sorry that I have hurt anyone's feelings," Orange snapped. "But I thought the whole point of this new group of Omegas was not to repeat the mistakes of the past ones! The last batch nearly drove us to the brink of destruction with their secrets and power plays! I do not wish to see that happen again!"

"None of us do," General White said. 

"I apologize sirs," Hawk said. "It was not my intent to cause disruption within the ranks." 

"No one is blaming you Hawk," Blue said.

"Not yet," Red grumbled.

"Hawk while we all applaud your initiative," General Black said. "We are a bit concerned about your ability to control the mutants." 

"Yes," Orange said. "I mean last I checked GI Joe was an anti terrorist unit. Not a mutant babysitting unit!" 

"Sir GI Joe is an anti-terrorist unit," Hawk said. "We've fought the most powerful enemies and taken on the most daunting challenges. Many of them you recall have dealt with mutants in the past. We are the only unit that has the most experience in dealing with mutants in the entire United States Army. So it makes sense to train our own team of mutants." 

"I think that I speak for all of us that training our own elite team of mutant fighters is a good thing," General Gold spoke. "It's just how we go about it that we need to decide." 

"Make no mistake Hawk none of us are so close minded that we think that every mutant out there is evil," General Silver spoke. "There will always be good mutants as well as bad. The question is what is in the best interests of the country? What is the best way we can protect both mutants and humans alike." 

"Oh well we can always just lock them up right Silver?" Brown said sarcastically.

"That is not what I said!" Silver snapped.

"No but you were thinking about it!" Brown snapped. 

"I am not suggesting concentration camps and you know it!" Silver shouted. "First of all they're too expensive! I am just suggesting certain…training facilities or towns that might be designated areas for mutants to live in. Places where they can live without causing any damage that's all." 

"Separate but equal?" Blue spoke out. "I've heard that before!" 

"Ever hear of the Constitution Silver?" Brown shouted.

"Have you been watching the news lately?" Gold shouted. "Remember what happens every time a mutant manifests his powers or has a power surge? Like that X-Man at that skateboard incident! Someone could have gotten killed!"

"You have to admit that they do have potential for destruction and damage!" Silver said.

"Oh for crying out loud a person has that same potential every time he drives a car or picks up a gun!" Blue shouted.

"Are we gonna argue about that again?" Black snapped.

"GENTLEMEN!" White bellowed. "Please! This is not the issue here before us today. The issue is whether GI Joe should be allowed to train a team of mutants. Separate from the Area 51 research facility. Now I want to make this clear, we are not, I repeat not considering the fate of the Delgato children. It has already been decided that it is most beneficial that they remain in the custody of their father."

"Yes its the other little maniacs that you have collected we're worried about," General Green told Hawk. "Former associates of the terrorist Magneto. According to these files!" He held one up. 

"They're children sir," Hawk said. "They can learn from their mistakes. We are training them not to hate humans, but to help them." 

"Well judging by these files these kids need all the help they can get," General Green grumbled. "Look at this one! Alvers, Lance. Codename Avalanche. He's got a history of delinquency, and a juvenile record. He's been mentally, physically and sexually abused. Now thanks to Magneto's experiments he's got psychological problems as well as being unable to fully control his evolving powers." 

"That's nothing," General Orange said. "Take a look at the twins' files!" 

"Oh yeah?" Silver said. "Wait 'til you get to the Cobra one!" 

"No gender?" Gold yelped. "That's impossible!"

"Actually it isn't," Blue said. "Turns out all you have to do is…" 

"That's enough," Black said. "The point is what are we going to do with them?"

"I admit this is a good program you have come up with," General Blue spoke. "However is GI Joe really the best place to test it?" 

"Sirs," Hawk said solemnly. "I would not be here if I was not 100 percent sure if it was. "Take a look at the data in your files. You'll see the newest progress reports. I am not saying these kids are perfect angels but they are improving. They just starting to realize that not every human wants to hurt them. If they are removed from my custody it will destroy all the progress we've made. Not to mention every chance for rehabilitation. All I am asking is to give us a chance. Give them a chance."

"We will confer on this," said General White. "Generals you may leave now. We will contact you with our decision." 

Hawk and Flagg walked out. Bragg was waiting for them. "I think we reached them," Hawk told Flagg. 

"Don't be so sure Hawk," Bragg sneered. "I have connections as you well know. You'd better get those muties packed. They're as good as mine." 

"Not if I have anything to say about it Bragg," Hawk snapped. 

"Don't count your mutants before they're hatched Bragg," Flagg told him. "I fully support General Hawk on this."

"Then you'll both get busted and lose your stars," Bragg said as he walked away. "Which suits me fine." 

"How that man got to be in his position amazes even me," Flagg grumbled. 

"We can't let Bragg get them," Hawk said. "Or any other one of his cronies. You know what will happen!" 

"I know," Flagg sighed. "I just hope your kids can handle this Hawk. Both of our careers are riding on this. If they fail…"

"They won't," Hawk said sternly. "I won't let it happen." 


	46. Separation Anxiety

**Separation Anxiety**

"Cannonball!" Pietro crowed as he dove into the pool.

He landed with a loud splash, drenching the other inhabitants. It was one of the rare moments of relaxation. They had just finished a grueling training session and had been given a chance to enjoy the new pool Lance had made. "Man this is sweet!" Todd said as he happily swam. 

"Way to go Lance," Wanda said. "You did something right! For a change." 

"You know I hate to admit it," Pietro said. "But I'm really starting to like it here."

"I told you it wasn't so bad," Todd pointed out. "Hey look! Spirit's bird's up there!" 

Lance looked at Freedom; Spirit's bald eagle perched on the roof above. Spirit claimed that the bird was not his pet, but his companion so he was free to come and go as he pleased. It had arrived just after Lance's vision quest. 

"I don't think that bird likes me very much," Lance gulped, remembering the bird's first reaction to him. Lance felt he was lucky that his eyes hadn't been pecked out. 

"He probably thinks you're dinner or something," Pietro snickered. 

"He just probably doesn't know you yet," Xi told him. He got out of the pool wearing only a pair of tan swimming trunks. His flat green chest glistened with the gold scales marking his front. 

"We've heard that before," Wanda snickered.

"You know what we need?" Pietro zipped out of the pool and rapidly shook himself off to dry.

"An umbrella?" Fred grumbled as some of the water from Pietro landed on him. 

"Some smoothies!" Pietro ran into the building. 

At the same time Roadblock, Spirit and Shipwreck were talking to Hawk on the communications monitor. "So they finally know huh?" Roadblock sighed.

"It's not like we didn't know this was coming," Hawk told them. 

"So what is going to happen?" Shipwreck asked. "Are they going to take away the kids?"

"They're still undecided," Hawk sighed. 

"That's not good," Roadblock grumbled.

"Hawk we can't let the kids get taken away!" Shipwreck told him. "Those kids will be caged and treated like lab rats for the rest of their lives!" 

"I know that Shipwreck," Hawk said. "Fortunately there are some who are on our side."

"I wonder," Roadblock grumbled. 

"Look let's find out what they decide before we jump to conclusions," Hawk told them. "The minute I hear anything I'll let you know. Hawk out." The monitor went out. 

They heard a whooshing sound and turned around sharply. "Oh no," Roadblock groaned. "Pietro!"

"If he heard…" Shipwreck groaned. 

"Come on," Spirit said. "We'd better talk to them."

"Yeah we all know the speed of Pietro's mouth," Shipwreck sighed as he followed them outside. All the kids were now out of the pool and looked very unhappy.

"You heard," Roadblock sighed.

"Yeah," Pietro looked stone face. "We all know." 

"They're gonna try and take us away ain't they?" Todd asked.

"I knew it!" Lance fumed. "I knew it! I knew it was too good to last!" 

"Calm down!" Shipwreck said. "Nobody is going anywhere!"

"But they will!" Wanda said. 

"Okay listen up," Roadblock said. "True there are some officials that are…concerned about you guys being with the Joes."

"I'll bet!" Pietro snapped. "Concerned we ain't in a cage!"

"But we have some people on our side as well," Roadblock told him. "They're just reviewing the case. There is a good chance that they are going to send somebody to observe us. That person will see how you are doing and judge if you are making any progress!" 

"Oh yeah," Lance huffed. "I can just imagine what that report is going to be like! Face it Roadblock, they're going to judge us even before they get here! And don't tell me it's not gonna be like that! It's happened before." 

"Before?" Shipwreck asked. 

"I don't wanna talk about it," Lance said. 

"I can't believe they want to take all of us away!" Todd cried out.

"Not all of us," Brittany said. "Right dad?"

"Yeah well," Shipwreck sighed. "My kids have immunity but the rest of you…"

"How did you swing that deal?" Pietro asked.

"Long time ago," Shipwreck told him.

"It's 'cause of my dad being a Joe," Althea said. "It's you guys I'm worried about." She took Todd's hand and held onto it tightly. 

"Being a former pawn of Cobra I know too well what they can do," Xi growled. 

"Maybe…" Fred was thinking now. "Maybe they'll only take some of us. I mean how old do you have to be before you're drafted? I'm 17."

"I don't think they'll wait before you turn 18," Pietro told him. 

"I'm 18," Lance said. "If they take me and Fred, maybe they'll leave you guys alone."

"Nobody's going to split us up!" Althea said. "Right Dad?" 

"Right," Shipwreck nodded grimly. "Just let them try!" 

"We'll beat the stuffing outta them!" Daria shouted. 

"No! No! No!" Roadblock said. "Just put your faith in GI Joe!"

"Yeah right!" Wanda growled and stormed up to her room. 

"I'll talk to her," Shipwreck said as he followed her. Wanda slammed the bedroom door in his face. 

"I'm changing!" She screamed. 

"Okay," He stood outside uncomfortably. "I'll wait right here." 

"Well I might be changing for hours!" Wanda snapped.

"Fine," Shipwreck sighed. "Listen kid, I know how you feel. Well maybe not exactly how you feel but I understand it. Believe me. I know. I don't want to lose you either. I can understand that you can't always trust the guys upstairs. Actually you can never trust the guys upstairs. But you can trust Hawk. I know the guy. Look I know that you've been hurt and abandoned. And I may gripe and complain but I'm only human. Pardon the expression."

There was silence. "What I'm trying to say is," Shipwreck continued. "You've become an important part of my life now. Not just you. All of you kids. I'm used to you."

More silence. "For crying out loud kid this is not easy for me!" Shipwreck snapped. "I'm trying to say something warm and reassuring here but it's not easy with a door in my face. I know you have trouble warming up to people for obvious reasons but that doesn't mean everyone you meet wants to use you or get rid of you when things get tough. I don't. I care a lot about you kid if you'd only let me in a little more you'd see that! Who do you think I am? Magneto?"

He winced. "Oops. Wrong thing to say."

Wanda opened the door. "Actually…it's pretty accurate," She grumbled. 

"I don't want you to go," Shipwreck told her. "And there's something you gotta know. You're part of my family now. And Shipwreck Delgato don't give his family up for nothin' or nobody!" 

"You really feel that way about me?" Wanda asked. 

"Duh!" Shipwreck hugged her. "Hey if I can put up with your brother I can put up with anything."

Wanda let out a slight giggle and a sniff. "Now," Shipwreck took her head in her hands. "Promise me you won't cry or go crazy?"

"Yeah well," Wanda shrugged. 

"I ain't gonna let anything happen to you kid," Shipwreck told her. "I promise. You're like my own daughter now. Which reminds me," He looked at the sleeveless top she usually wore. "Aren't you cold in that?"

"Shipwreck we're in a desert," Wanda raised an eyebrow.

"Well it can get pretty cold," Shipwreck told her. "How about putting on a sweater?"

"Shipwreck!"

"Well at least something with sleeves for crying out loud!" Shipwreck called out. Wanda slammed the door in his face. "I think I'm getting through to her." 

************************************************************************

Lance sat outside, fully dressed. He was not happy. "You don't know that!" Spirit said to him.

"Of course I know it," Lance snapped. 

"You cannot look on the dark side of things!" Spirit told him. 

"Every time something good happens to me," Lance said bitterly. "Something happens and ruins it! It's the story of my life! Once I was in this real nice foster home. A good one. I was just a little kid but even then I knew how lucky I got. They wanted me so much. They were going to adopt me and I would have a real home and…" He turned away. 

"What happened?" Spirit asked softly.

"I never knew exactly," Lance sighed. "One night they just came in and took me away from them. Next thing I knew I was back in the orphanage. I never saw them again and they wouldn't even tell me why!" 

Tears were leaking from his eyes. "I loved them Spirit. And I knew they loved me but that didn't matter to those people. They didn't even have the decency to tell me why! And the same thing is happening again! I know it! I know it!" 

Spirit held him in his arms. "Shhh," He comforted the boy. "That won't happen again."

"Yes it will!" Lance said. "I can't go through that again Spirit. I can't! I won't! I'd run away first!"

"That won't solve anything! Listen to me! I will not allow them to take you. Do you understand? I promise I will do everything in my power to protect you! I promise!"

"I…I…" Lance stammered. "Spirit…you're the first adult who really cared about me in so long…I…I love you. You're like a father to me."

"And no father could ever love a son like I love you," Spirit lifted up Lance's chin. "You are a part of me now. And I will not abandon you." 

"You promise?"

"Yes." 

************************************************************************

"Pietro will you please stop pacing!" Cover Girl said. "You're literally starting to wear a hole in the floor."

"I can't help it!" Pietro snapped at her. "The thought of me being caged for life will do that to me!"

"Maybe we won't be caged," Freddy asked. 

"And maybe pigs will fly!" Pietro snapped.

Shipwreck walked downstairs. "Well I think I convinced Wanda not to blow the place up," He said.

"Whoopee!" Pietro snapped. "Maybe that's not such a bad idea!"

"Now don't talk like that!" Cover Girl said. 

"Yeah blowing stuff up is not always the right solution no matter how much fun it is," Shipwreck said.

"Shipwreck!" Cover Girl snapped. 

"Look kid," Shipwreck said. "As I was just telling your sister, we don't know for sure if the Jugglers want to take you away from us. And even if they did, we won't let them take you. Not without a fight."

"You really want us to stay?" Fred asked.

"Of course we do," Cover Girl told him. 

"Hey if I can put up with your sister I can put up with anything," Shipwreck put his arm around the boy. "Come here you!" 

Pietro squirmed away. He ran to Cover Girl and hugged her. "Oh you poor baby," She patted him on the head. 

"Oh yeah **her** you want to hug," Shipwreck grumbled. 

"I love you Shipwreck!" Fred enveloped him in a huge bear hug.

"Oh yeah," Shipwreck gasped. "I'm feeling the love."

************************************************************************

Low Light found Xi sitting on top of the flat roof. Xi looked at him. "I was a possession once," Xi said. "I refuse to be so again."

"I can understand that," Low Light stood next to him. 

"I am not a thing," Xi said. "I have a life and a will. I know that now. If they try to take me…" 

"It's not gonna happen kid," Low Light told him. "I won't let it happen."

"I won't let them take me," Xi said simply. 

Both nodded and understood. A silent agreement passed between the two. 

************************************************************************

"They can't take us away!" Todd kicked the wall and winced when it hurt. "They just can't!" 

"Don't give up hope," Roadblock told him. "Nothing has happened yet. We adults knew this day would come and we've been preparing. So don't worry about that yet. We'll tell you when to worry, okay?" 

"You won't let them take us will you?" Todd asked fearfully. 

"Don't worry," Roadblock said gently. "We'll find a way. Somehow we will find a way." 

Roadblock hugged the boy close to him. "Nothing will separate us," Roadblock said. "I promise. It was fate that brought us together. It won't tear us apart." 

**Coming next: The kids are observed to see if they will remain in the Joes' custody. But who is it? What will happen? Expect the unexpected! **


	47. The Wandering General

**The Wandering General**

"General," Eddington walked into Bragg's office. "I have some news for you."

"Well spill it," Bragg said. "Uh oh. I can tell by the look on your face it's one of those 'Good News' 'Bad News' situations. Okay spill it! What's the good news?"

"Well there's two pieces of good news," Eddington said. "First Trask's progress on his mutant hunting experiments are going rather well. Here are the reports. And the second part is that the Jugglers have authorized someone to observe the mutants being held by the Joes and evaluate their status." 

"Wonderful, who are they sending?"

"That's the bad news sir," Eddington gulped. He handed him a folder. 

Bragg read it. Immediately he started choking with rage. "Yes I had a feeling you'd feel that way," Eddington sighed. 

"THEY SENT WHO?" Bragg shouted. "NOOOOOOOO! NOT HIM! ANYONE BUT HIM!" 

************************************************************************

"Just smell that desert air!" General Whithalf shouted. "Refreshing isn't it?" 

"Sir I think we're lost," His driver said. "Maybe I should drive now?" 

"Nonsense," General Whithalf waved. "You need a rest. Besides it's been a while since I drove one of these babies." 

"Really?" The driver gulped as the jeep bounced over some rocks. "You'd never know." 

"Now doesn't this beat some stuffy desk job?" Whithalf grinned. "I tell you that's the one thing I regret about becoming a general. Not enough time to do the fun things like this! Hold on!" The jeep flew over a small pothole. 

"My pulse! I used to have a pulse! I'm turning blue," The driver moaned.

"You don't look blue-ish," Whithalf said. "Oh dear…I think we broke something." The jeep rattled to a stop. "It appears we are stuck."

"In more ways than one," The driver muttered underneath his breath. 

Suddenly a huge gust of wind sped by. When the dust had settled they found themselves looking at a boy with silver hair in a silver costume. "Hi there!" He smiled. "I'm Quicksilver! Are you General Whithalf?"

"Indeed I am my boy," Whithalf said. 

"How did you get here?" The driver blinked. 

"Well they sent me to look for you," Pietro said. "Because I'm so fast I can cover more ground." 

"You must be a mutant," Whithalf said.

"Brilliant deduction," The driver grumbled underneath his breath. "So I guess you can call the base and they'll send a car or something?"

"Why need a car?" Pietro smiled. "I'll take you there myself. I'll be back for you in a flash! Hang on General!" He took Whithalf's arm and sped off with him. A minute later he came back for the driver. 

"AGGGGGHHHHH!" The driver screamed as he dragged him back to the base. 

There was Whithalf smiling. "What a ride! That was invigorating!" 

"If you say so sir," The driver gulped before he fainted.

"Tsk," Whithalf shook his head. "The recruits we get nowadays. No stamina. Ah hello gentlemen." 

"Sir!" Roadblock and Spirit saluted. 

"At ease," Whithalf nodded and saluted back. "Now it's Sergeants Hinton and Iron-Knife? Am I correct?" 

"Call us Roadblock and Spirit sir," Roadblock smiled. "We are in charge of the mutants. You'll also meet the rest of the staff as soon as you've rested."

"Nonsense," Whithalf waved. "I'm ready now! Although I think my driver could take a break."

"Quicksilver take the general's ride inside," Roadblock ordered. "Well this way. The rest of the kids are going through their morning drills." 

They walked to the obstacle course just in time to see the kids destroy it. Fred ran through it. Wanda used her hexbolts. Lance used his tremors and the others just tore at them. They couldn't believe their eyes. 

"The entire obstacle course is destroyed!" Whithalf exclaimed. "Brilliant!"

"What?" Roadblock dropped his jaw.

"Well the point is to overcome obstacles right?" Whithalf asked. "What better way of overcoming them than obliterating them?" 

"He has a point," Spirit gulped.

"Well if they can go through a real enemy the way they went through those obstacles we may make soldiers out of them yet!" Whithalf smiled. "Wow! Look at how they destroyed that tire obstacle! Marvelous! This is going to be fun!" He wandered away to get a better view. 

"What just happened I cannot explain," Roadblock blinked. "Except to say that general is insane." 

"Maybe the kids have a shot after all," Spirit gulped. 

************************************************************************

"So who is this Whithalf guy?" Red-Dog asked. Some of the Joes were sitting in the kitchen talking. 

"**General** Whithalf," Roadblock stressed. "Is a very powerful big wig. Not only that, but rumor has it he's the man who's been rumored to mastermind the plans to bring down the Soviet Union."

"What plans?" Low Light balked. "The Soviet Union ran out of money. End of story."

Shipwreck looked at him. "That was part of the plan stupid!"

"Let's forget the fact that there were a lot of other reasons the Soviet Union broke up," Roadblock groaned. "Of course according to the rumor Whithalf was behind them all. Now he may appear to have the brains of a carp, but don't be fooled. That man's pretty sharp." 

Then a loud explosion was heard above them. They ran up and saw a huge amount of smoke billowing. Both Whithalf and Sergeant Slaughter stumbled out. "Sorry!" Whithalf apologized. "Didn't mean to blow up your laser cannon."

"Don't worry sir," Sarge gasped through the smoke. "Could happen to anyone." 

"Oh yeah," Red-Dog snickered under his breath. "Mind like razor." 

"I love what you've done with your base Sergeant," Whithalf looked around. "I hear the kids helped put the pool in or something?"

"Uh yeah something like that," Sarge gulped. 

"I think I'll take a look around," Whithalf wandered around the corner. 

"Uh sir," Sarge followed him. "Maybe one of us should…Where'd he go?"

"Oh yeah," Shipwreck sighed. "He's famous for that too." 

"Now where did he go?" Roadblock groaned.

"Let him wander around," Shipwreck sighed. "Sooner or later there will be an explosion that will tell us where he is anyway." 

***********************************************************************

"Do you really think this general guy is gonna take us away?" Todd asked. The older kids were in the rec. room trying to figure things out. 

"Wouldn't be surprised," Pietro scoffed.

"Who cares?" Lance sighed. "My life is meaningless anyway."

"Oh great," Wanda groaned. "He's on another Kitty Pity Party!" 

"A what?" General Whithalf walked in.

"Everybody ATTEN-HUT!" Althea shouted. They all stood and saluted. 

"Oh at ease," Whithalf waved. "Calm down. I'm just here to observe that's all. Carry on." The kids sat down. 

"Sir can I ask you something?" Todd blinked.

"Certainly son," Whithalf nodded. 

"Sir you ain't gonna separate us are you?" Todd asked. 

"What?" Whithalf blinked. 

"Please!" Todd got on his knees and begged. "Please don't take us away! We love it here! The Joes take good care of us!"

"Uh…" Whithalf blinked.

"TOAD!" Althea grabbed his ear. "I thought we discussed this!"

"Sorry," Todd shrugged. "It was a reflex action." 

"Don't you have any pride?" Pietro snapped.

"Not really," Todd told him. 

"Why am I always attracted to morons?" Althea sighed. 

"Maybe they remind you of your old man?" Pietro snickered.

"Pietro," Wanda held him in place with a hex box.

"Shut up!" Althea whacked him on the head. "Will you try to behave yourselves?"

"So much for being on our best behavior," Fred grumbled. 

"Oh great we're gonna end up in a cage!" Lance moaned. "I know it! What does it matter anyway? My life is over!"

"What's wrong with him?" Whithalf asked.

"He's still down cause he broke up with his girlfriend," Todd explained. 

"I can't help it!" Lance told them. "I still can't stop thinking about her!" 

"Lance nobody wants to hear you whine about Kitty!" Pietro groaned.

"On the contrary," General Whithalf said. "It sounds quite fascinating. Do tell." 

"Oh no," Pietro put his head into his hands. "I'm warning you general, this isn't pretty!" 

"I guess it all started back in Illinois," Lance sighed. "The day I first met her. It was also the day I found out there were others like me. I'll never forget it…"

"Oh god," Wanda groaned. 

For the next hour they listened to Lance talk about Kitty. To their shock Whithalf seemed enraptured by the tale. "Was I really that stupid to call her?" Lance sighed. 

"Of course not!" Whithalf nodded. "You have a right to tell her how you feel!"

"I do not believe this!" Pietro groaned. 

"Now I'm not saying you didn't make some mistakes," Whithalf said. "But you weren't exactly the only one. She was the one who stopped communicating with you. Don't forget that."

"I know," Lance sighed. "And I know I should just forget her and move on but I can't! It's driving me crazy!" 

"You're not the only one," Pietro groaned. 

Just then the sound of a huge explosion rocked the outside of the building. "What was that?" Whithalf cried out.

Althea ran towards the window. "It's Cobra!" She cried out. 

"Cobra's attacking again?" Pietro cried out. "Don't these guys have anything better to do?" 

"Apparently not," Althea quipped. "But this time they're using BATS!" 

"Bats?" Lance asked as they rushed outside. "You mean those flying winged rodents?"

"Not bats!" Althea snapped. "BATS! Battle Android Troopers! They're programmed to do a lot of the dirty work! Disposable soldiers! But tough to beat!"

Fred screamed and plowed into them, the lasers bouncing harmlessly off his skin. "Not that tough!" He shouted as he trashed them. 

"Blob stay in formation!" Althea shouted. "It could be a trap!" 

However to their surprise although there were nearly a hundred of the BATS, the kids destroyed them easily with their powers. The adults hung back and watched. Whithalf was very impressed. "I must say those kids are doing splendidly," He said cheerfully. "I'm glad they're on our side!" 

The battle such as it was, was soon over. "What a mess," Althea looked over the wreckage. "Reminds me of my little brother's toys all over the room." 

"I must say I'm impressed," General Whithalf walked up to them. "I sent the other adults back to ready some refreshments. I wanted to congratulate all of you perfectly! I say…are we missing someone?"

"Quicksilver!" Todd looked around. "Where'd he go?"

"Here I am!" Pietro sped up to them in a cloud of dust. 

"Geeze Quickie," Fred coughed. "Watch it with the dust will ya?"

"Sorry," Pietro apologized. "But I was taking a run around when I saw something. There was somebody controlling them! Guess who? That fake nurse Dr. Mindbender!"

"Wasn't he the guy who drugged all of you and tried to take you to Cobra before Lance wrecked the school?" Wanda asked. 

"Will people never let me forget that incident?" Lance groaned. "Where is he? Did you see where he took off to?"

"Better!" Pietro winked. "I gave him my watch!" 

"What?" Althea asked.

"I dropped my watch with the homing device in his jeep," Pietro explained. "Now all we need is a tracking monitor…" He ran off and returned in a split second. "Like this! And bam! We got him!" 

"Are you sure he didn't see you?" Wanda asked.

"No way! I'm too fast!" 

"It's working!" Althea pointed to the monitor. 

"There's got to be a base nearby!" Wanda said. "I mean he's on ground transport and there was a huge amount of those tin cans!"

"She's right," Lance said. "If we follow them maybe they'll lead us to their base!" 

"Well what are we waiting for!" Whithalf said jumping in a jeep. "Let's go!" 

"Are we supposed to do this?" Pietro asked.

"Well he is the general," Fred shrugged. 

"But what about the others?" Todd asked.

"Oh they'll catch up," Whithalf told him. "Besides they'll insist that I stay behind and I don't want them spoiling my fun! Now let's move out! That's an order!"

"Well he is the general," Althea shrugged. 

Not long afterwards General Hawk was talking to the adults through the monitor. "So where did the BATS come from?" He asked.

"We don't know," Sarge sighed. Then he saw Roadblock coming in with a worried look and a piece of paper. "Roadblock what is it? Where are the kids?" 

"Uh…The kids are gone," Roadblock gulped.

"What?" Hawk blinked. 

"They left a note," Roadblock told him. "Here's what they wrote. 'Dear Everyone. We think we've found a Cobra base nearby. We'll send the coordinates when we find it. We'll try to be back by dinner." 

"Those stupid kids!" Sarge groaned. "If the general finds out…"

"Uh…He knows," Roadblock said. "There's more on the note." 

"Oh god please tell me they didn't take the general with them," Hawk groaned.

"They did," Roadblock sighed.

"I told you not to tell me that!" Hawk shouted. "Please don't tell me it was his idea to go!"

"It was," Roadblock sighed.

"You don't listen very well do you?" Hawk shouted as he banged his head on the wall. 

**Next up: What happens when our band of mischievous mutants takes a general along for a wild ride? Find out! **


	48. A Grand Day Out

**A Grand Day Out**

"I told you that plan wouldn't work!" Mindbender said to Cobra Commander via the communications monitor. "Why did you have me send those BATS out there to catch those mutants?"

"I wanted to test their effectiveness," Cobra Commander told him. "Not to mention bug those Joes some more. If they think we are just going to forget about those mutants they have another think coming!" 

"Yes well," Mindbender grumbled. "I don't see why I had to come all the way out here to test them. Can't you get the Baroness or someone else to do these petty annoyances? I still have a lot of work to do on the mutant projects. Not to mention the synthoid army and all the other projects you keep sending me every other day!"

"Cobra Commander wants you to do it because he trusts you to run the operation," Zartan appeared on the screen. 

"Yes well as flattered as I am in your faith in me I…" Mindbender looked at Zartan. "What's that on your wrist? Are those…feather covered handcuffs?" 

"That's not important right now!" Zartan quickly hid his wrist. 

"Just find a way to capture those mutants!" Cobra Commander hissed. "NOW!" The monitor went blank. 

"Capture the mutants Mindbender," Mindbender mocked. "Make me a synthoid army Mindbender. Aren't those experiments finished yet Mindbender? What do you mean you haven't found any more mutants Mindbender! AGGGGH!" He slammed his fist on the table. "It's enough to drive a man mad! I swear I have so many projects now I don't know if I'm coming or going! If I didn't know better I'd swear Cobra Commander was giving me all this work to do to keep me occupied and away from something! But what could possibly…" 

An alarm sounded. "What now?" He groaned. He looked at the monitor. "Oh wonderful. The mutants I was sent to capture are now attacking the base! Just what I need!" 

He pressed the intercom, barking orders. "Get those mutants! Troop A activate what's left of the BATS! Troop B! Break out the tasers! Troop C…"

"We don't have tasers sir!" A soldier cried out. "They never arrived from headquarters!"

"Well improvise!" Mindbender shouted. "Troop C! Where the hell is Troop C?"

"They got recalled back to headquarters sir!" Another solder shouted. 

"What moron called them back?" Mindbender screamed.

"Cobra Commander, sir."

"Oh that's a shock!" Mindbender shouted. "Why?" 

"I dunno. Something about helping the new mutant commanders move their furniture into the new headquarters or something."

"Wonderful!" Mindbender screamed. "Somebody do something before those mutants tear this base apart!"

However the kids were doing just that. "This is easy!" Lance laughed as he used his powers to tear open holes in the walls. 

"Don't get cocky!" Althea called out. "Blob and Toad! Watch the General's back! We don't want him to get hurt!"

"I don't think that's going to be a problem," Todd pointed out the General firing a machine gun he 'borrowed' off a Cobra Soldier. 

"HAHA!" Whithalf shouted with glee. "Take that you miscreants! I love the smell of things blowing up in the afternoon! It makes me feel so alive!" 

"Well you ain't gonna be General if you don't get down!" Todd yanked him down as the bullets whizzed past them. 

"CHARGE!" A soldier shouted as a troop of Cobras raced towards them, guns blazing.

Wanda shot a hexbolt at them as well as Pietro using his speed to create a tornado. "RETREAT!" The soldiers screamed.

"We are getting our butts kicked!" Mindbender howled. "Break out the spare ammunition!"

"We don't have any!" Another soldier told him. "It never arrived from headquarters along with half our stuff!" 

"Oh forget this!" Mindbender shouted. "I'm out of here! It's every man for himself!" He escaped down a secret tunnel.

Meanwhile the rest of the Joes arrived along with a huge back up force of Joes. "I can't believe those stupid kids!" Beach Head spat.

"It's Whithalf I can't believe!" Roadblock said. "Those kids we have to retrieve!" 

"We've finally arrived at the Cobra Base," Wild Bill called out. "What's left of it." 

"Holy cow," Low Light whistled when he saw the destruction. 

"Hi guys!" Todd waved from on top of a broken HISS tank. "We had a lot of fun today!" 

"Yeah we broke this base real good!" Fred smiled. 

"Do you have any idea how much trouble you are in?" Beach Head snapped.

"Oh no they're not!" Whithalf said. "I quite enjoyed myself! Besides I ordered them to take me along. And you can't have them disobeying orders from a general now can you?" 

"Uh…" Beach Head gulped. "No…" 

"Roadblock tell General Hawk you've done a wonderful job!" Whithalf smiled. "You are to be congratulated! This program is a success! I will make my final recommendation immediately that you will have permanent custody of these fine young soldiers!" 

"You mean we can stay?" Lance blinked. "You're not gonna take us away?" 

"And we'll all be together sir?" Todd asked. 

"Don't worry young man," Whithalf said. "You have my word that none of you will be split up." 

"YAYYYY!" All the kids cheered. Everyone was happy. 

Well, not everyone was happy.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Bragg screamed when he heard the news. 

**Next up: The kids finally come home to their new and improved house! **


	49. Home at Last

**Home at Last**

"I can't believe we're going home today!" Todd whooped. 

"Yeah and we get to live in a nice new place!" Fred said as he finished packing.

"It's not a new place, stupid," Quinn groaned as she walked by. "It's our old place all fixed up so everybody can live in it!" 

"I can't wait!" Pietro whooped.

"Neither can we!" Mercer called out from below. 

"Actually I'm going to miss this place a little," Lance said. "Wide open spaces and all that stuff." 

"Maybe we can visit or something?" Todd asked.

"NO!" The Renegades screamed. 

"Aw don't listen to them," Todd snickered. "They're just putting on an act. They love us!"

"Wanna bet?" Red-Dog groaned as the kids walked downstairs. 

"Got everything?" Sarge asked.

"Yeah I got the vodka, beer, gin, party hats…." Tauros said.

"Not you!" Sarge snapped. "Them! Party hats?" 

"It's a very festive occasion," Tauros told him. 

"Hey the chopper's here!" Mercer called out. 

The kids grabbed their gear and loaded up the chopper. "Well its time for us to go," Shipwreck sighed as he held Claudius. "Say bye, bye to the nice Renegades kiddo!"

At this Claudius blew a raspberry. "Wonderful," Sarge groaned. "We'll miss you too." 

"Bye Sarge!" Todd waved. "See you soon!"

"Not if we're lucky," Mercer whispered to the others.

"Time to go home!" Roadblock called out as the kids went on the chopper. 

"Buy guys!" The kids waved as the chopper took off.

"Good bye! Aloha! Hasta la vista!" The Renegades waved enthusiastically. As soon as the chopper left their sight they all shouted as one. "PARTY!" 

************************************************************************

"Well here we are," Shipwreck said as they landed at the Pit. "Home sweet home." 

"And look who's here to welcome us yo!" Todd waved.

Lifeline and Bree were there on the tarmac waiting for them. As soon as it landed Pietro hopped down and raced to Bree. "Hi there!" He hugged her. "I missed you!" 

"I missed you too!" Bree laughed. 

"Lifeline!" Wanda cried out running up and giving him a hug. 

"Yayy!" The remaining kids rushed out and piled on them. 

"I think they missed you," Low Light said wryly. 

"Come on kids," Lifeline laughed. "You want to see your new home?"

"YEAH!" The kids shouted as one. They hopped into a few jeeps and went to their house.

"It looks pretty much the same," Althea noticed. "Only it's a little bigger."

"We put most of the new stuff underground," Lifeline said. "You can see the results inside." 

He opened the door and out came Polly. "WELCOME BACK!" He whistled. "WHAT DID YOU GET ME?" 

"What our presence isn't enough?" Pietro quipped. 

The kids mulled around. "Downstairs is a training area and extra living quarters," Lifeline explained. "But all your rooms are upstairs. Check them out." The kids did so. 

"Wow look at all the rooms yo!" Todd said. "Do we all get our own?" 

"If you'd like," Roadblock told him. 

"Do we have to?" Xi asked, a worried look on his face.

"Aw relax Xi," Todd said. "I'll bunk with you."

"I got dibs on this room!" Pietro zoomed around. "No wait, this room! No wait! This room!" 

"Just pick one already Pietro!" Lance snapped. 

Soon everyone picked their own room, with the exception of Todd and Xi and of course the triplets. Todd was quite happy to be sharing a room with Xi. It meant he had someone to scheme with at night. 

"Come on outside," Shipwreck told him. "Two things. First off, I expect you kids to do your chores regularly. You can start by painting the house."

"You're kidding?" Pietro blinked.

"Oh what are you worried about?" Wanda asked. 

"Yeah Pietro you can get most of it done in no time!" Fred told him. 

"I can't believe we have to paint all this," Pietro grumbled as he looked over the house.

"Who cares? We're home," Lance said happily. "We're finally home." 

"And one other thing," Shipwreck said. "Actually this is for Lance," He handed him the keys to one of the jeeps. "It's a bit newer than your old jeep but we think it's important that you have it."

"You're kidding?" Lance's eyes went wide.

"Nope," Roadblock shook his head. "But we need you to use it responsibly. You know, go do errands, drive the younger kids around…"

"I gotcha Roadblock," Lance said happily. "I am totally grateful for this! I can handle it! Thank you!" He immediately began examining his new jeep.

"The way that kid acts you think we just gave him a corvette," Low Light snickered. 

"I think he deserves a little treat after all he's been through," Roadblock said. "Come on kids, we've got unpacking to do!"

The unpacking didn't take very long. Soon everyone was outside painting. Except for Lance who had permission to wash his new jeep and work with Cover Girl on some maintenance work. 

"This isn't so bad," Wanda admitted as she painted. "It's kind of nice having a home of our own we can fix up and stuff." 

"Hey can we get a dog?" Quinn asked.

"We have Toad," Daria said.

"Ha, ha," Todd said drolly. "Very funny. But Quinn has a point, can we get a pet?"

"What do you think I am?" Polly squawked. "And don't forget Freedom! He's always hanging around whenever he feels like it!" 

"Yeah but they're the grown up's pets," Brittany said. 

"Yeah that would be cool if we had a pet of our own," Fred said. 

"Oh yeah that's all we need," Low Light grumbled. "Another noisy yapping mouth that makes a mess around here." 

"We'll think about it," Shipwreck sighed.

"Come back here Pietro!" Fred screamed. 

Pietro was laughing insanely. He was also painting the house a variety of different colors. "Pietro knock it off!" Wanda shouted. Soon half the kids were chasing him and the other half became involved in a paint war.

General Hawk drove up. "Hey I just wanted to see how you kids were…." Suddenly he and his jeep were painted in a multitude of colors. "Doing…" 

"Yeah we're home all right," Lance sighed. 

**Next up: Chapter 50: Romance with Todd and Althea! Yayyy! **


	50. A Birthday to Remember

**And now some romantic fun. And of course some insanity. Oh I just came up with some evil and wonderful ideas! Wheeeeeee! **

**A Birthday to Remember**

Several days later they all got the good news that all the mutants were to stay on the Joe base for good. They would also finally be given the name Freedom Force as their official group name. However the kids decided that the name the Misfits suited them better. Those who knew them had to agree. 

In any case a celebration was in order. Especially since it coincided with another important occasion. "Happy Birthday Sweetheart!" Shipwreck called out as his daughter came downstairs. 

"AWK! SWEET SIXTEEN!" Polly flapped his feathers. "Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Cut the cake!"

"That's later bird," Todd told him. He kissed Althea on the cheek. "Happy birthday sweetie!"

"Presents!" The triplets cheered. "PRESENTS! PRESENTS!"

"No," Roadblock told them. "Breakfast first, then training, then before dinner presents!" 

"Yeah bring on the birthday breakfast!" Fred whooped. 

"In the traditional Delgato manner!" Daria laughed.

"Oh no!" Althea blanched. "You don't have to do that anymore! I think I've outgrown it!"

"We haven't!" The triplets shouted and threw pancakes and fruit at Althea.

"Here we go again," Shipwreck sighed. "Guys could you help me…? Guys?" All the other adults had disappeared. "COWARDS!" 

"That's it!" Althea shouted. "You're all dead!" 

Soon all the kids were tearing into their meal as well as throwing it. "AWK! FOOD FIGHT!" Polly cried out before getting pelted with some strawberries. 

Not long afterwards Shipwreck staggered inside the kitchen, covered with food. "Well the annual Delgato Birthday celebration has begun. Complete with food fighting." 

Roadblock and the other adults were seeking refuge and having coffee. "Oh yeah and the rest of the day is going to be fun," Roadblock sighed.

"Don't worry," Low Light waved. "Lifeline said that he'd have the tranquilizer darts on standby." 

"Man the past years flew by like I've never seen," Roadblock shook his head. "Shipwreck's little girl is sweet sixteen!"

"Yeah and Toad will be sixteen in a few months," Shipwreck pointed out. "And then they'll be seventeen and you know what that means!"

"What?" Gabriel the Blind Master asked. "Oh that's right. I remember now." 

"Oh yeah," Roadblock groaned. "The boy's already marking it down on his calendar. Well at least we have over a year to prepare for that!" 

"Yes and during that time my plan to keep them from having sex should be complete," Shipwreck told them. "I just said that to give myself more time to come up with an idea." 

"I thought you gave in a bit too easy on that," Spirit shook his head. "I should have known." 

"Why didn't you just tell them they couldn't have sex until they got married?" Roadblock asked. "Oh wait, what am I saying? Sorry. I forgot what gene pool she came from."

"Ha ha," Shipwreck said. "Besides, knowing **my **kid she would have hijacked a jet and dragged Toad to whatever state allows the lowest legal age for marriage!" 

"He's right," Cover Girl sighed. "She'd do that."

"This way at least we have some time to prepare them," Shipwreck said. "Maybe try to get them to focus more on their relationship. Have a more mature, nurturing bond without sex until they are older. And if that doesn't work we can always drug 'em or something." 

"You are such a hypocrite," Cover Girl said. "If Althea was a boy you wouldn't have even considered making them wait. In fact you were a lot younger than they were when you had sex for the first time, am I right?"

"Well yeah but…" Shipwreck started to say. 

"In fact I'm guessing that none of you guys have waited for marriage before having sex," She bristled. "Am I right?"

"Cover Girl you made your point," Low Light sighed. "Please don't go there." 

"Why not?" Cover Girl glared at him. "Why is it such a double standard for guys and girls and their sexuality?"

"Well don't look at me, I didn't invent it!" Low Light snapped. 

"Well then I just want to know if any of you guys waited until you got married?" Cover Girl snapped. "I know Shipwreck didn't!"

"Cover Girl you have made your point!" Low Light told her. "Okay will you just drop it?" 

"No I won't drop it!" She snapped then continued with her tirade. 

"Uh oh," Roadblock groaned underneath his breath as she went on. "She's in one of her moods again. Heaven help all men." 

"Look I'm just saying it's different with girls," Low Light protested when Cover Girl kept badgering with him. 

"Oh I see and are you a virgin?" Cover Girl folded her arms.

"WHAT?" Low Light yelped. "That is none of your business!" 

"Why not?" She growled. "You don't mind commenting on my private life?"

"Maybe we were safer out there?" Shipwreck grumbled. He opened the door and ducked to miss being hit by a pineapple in the face. "Maybe not." He quickly closed the door. 

"Are you a virgin Low Light yes or no?" Cover Girl snapped.

"YES ALL RIGHT! I AM! NOW WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!" Low Light shouted. 

"Excuse me…" Cover Girl stammered. "I didn't hear that right. What did you say?" 

"You know what I said," Low Light growled.

"You're kidding me?" Shipwreck's jaw dropped. 

"I wish I was," Low Light groaned. 

"Never?" Roadblock gasped. "But you're…"

"Yeah I know how old I am thank you very much!" Low Light snapped. 

"You have never…?" Spirit started to say. 

"Yes, now can we talk about something else please?" Low Light groaned. 

"Low Light, I…" Cover Girl sat down in shock. "I'm sorry!"

"Oh great!" Low Light threw up his hands. "That's all I need!" 

"No! No! I didn't mean it like that!" Cover Girl held up her hands. "I mean, I'm not sorry you're a…I mean it's okay that you're a…I didn't imply that being a….was a bad thing!"

"Are you kidding?" Shipwreck asked. Cover Girl then stomped on his foot. "AGGGH!" 

"I've been busy okay?" Low Light snapped.

"No wonder you're always so cranky," Shipwreck said. "I never figured you'd be a…well if any of us would be I would have pegged Spirit."

"Why me?" Spirit glared at him.

"Well you know," Shipwreck shrugged. "What with all the martial arts stuff…" 

"No I'm not!" Spirit bristled. "And I think we've gotten off the track here. This is about preventing the young ones from having sex not…people who aren't having sex."

"Oh sure," Low Light mocked. "If you're a kid it's okay not to have sex but if you're an adult and you don't do it you're a freak!"

"Well yeah," Shipwreck said. "OOOWWW! Cover Girl!"

"Now who has double standards?" Low Light snapped. 

"Listen I'm not saying we should encourage them having sex," Cover Girl said. "I'm just saying we should be supportive of their relationship and make sure they are fully knowledgeable of what risks they take when and if they do decide to have sex." 

"More like when they decide to have sex," Gabriel told them. 

"We could tell them about Low Light," Shipwreck said. "No wait that might backfire on us." 

"Hey Spirit pass me a banana or something?" Low Light snapped. "I wanna start a food fight of my own here!" 

"I didn't just mean you!" Shipwreck held up his hands. "I mean look at the rest of us. Our love lives aren't exactly on fire!"

"I don't even remember the last time I was on a date," Spirit grumbled.

"I do," Gabriel sighed. "Bell bottoms were in style. The first time." 

"Definitely not let the kids have us as examples," Shipwreck groaned. "They might be scared off seeing how pathetic we are."

"One more crack Shipwreck and we are all going to start throwing fruit at you," Gabriel said. "Let's get back to the subject here." 

"We should definitely have a class on sex education," Roadblock said. "Give the kids the right information."

"Maybe we'd better let Low Light in on the class as well," Shipwreck quipped.

"That's it!" Low Light grabbed some fruit. "Ready…aim…"

"FIRE!" All the adults threw something at Shipwreck. 

************************************************************************

After training the kids had a backyard barbecue. "Why are we having it outside?" Quinn asked.

"I dunno," Lance shrugged. "I guess it's because the kitchen is such a mess. Boy I thought we made a mess but for some reason the adults really went at it." 

"Presents time!" Althea called out. They made their way to the table. Althea got some clothes, jewelry and CDs. Not to mention some nice new nunchucks and throwing stars. 

"But the best is yet to come!" Todd said. "We gotta get ready!"

"Ready for what?" Althea asked. 

"Its' a surprise," Todd smiled and handed her a box. "Go upstairs and put this on. I'll meet you downstairs in half an hour!"

"Or more," Roadblock grumbled as he followed him inside.

"What is he up to?" Althea asked. 

"Oh just a little surprise," Cover Girl winked. "Come on. I'll help you get ready."

"What is going on?" Althea asked suspiciously. 

"Just a little something to make your sweet 16 extra special," Cover Girl told her. 

"But what about dinner?" Althea asked as she was pushed upstairs.

"Well that's part of the surprise too," Shipwreck smiled. 

Half an hour later Todd was downstairs fidgeting. He was wearing a dark suit with white shirt and red vest but no tie. His hair was in a ponytail and slicked back. "I hope this works yo," He muttered. "Do I look okay?"

"Like a regular Toad prince," Pietro quipped. 

"You look fine," Roadblock told him. 

"Everyone get ready," Cover Girl called out. Althea came down the stairs wearing a light blue gown. Her hair was put up and she was wearing a small tiara. She had small crystal earrings and a crystal necklace. 

"Wow," Todd blinked. "Wow." 

"Wow yourself," Althea blinked. 

"Hey Al, you look really nice," Fred said.

"Uh…thanks," Althea blushed, feeling very self-conscious. "Todd, why are we all dressed up?"

"I wanted our first real date to be extra special," Todd told her. He took her arm and they went outside the front door. 

"What?" Althea gasped at what she saw. It was an old black horse driven carriage. Bazooka was at the front dressed up in fancy clothes. 

"Roadblock and Cover Girl kinda helped me set it up," Todd admitted. 

"Todd…I…" There were tears in her eyes. "Thank you. All of you!" 

"Don't mention it," Shipwreck kissed her on the forehead. "Happy birthday honey. Now you two have fun and be back around midnight."

"Where are we going?" Althea asked as Todd helped her into the carriage. 

"You'll see," Todd told her. "Driver!"

The carriage rode away. "I didn't know Bazooka knew how to drive a horse and carriage," Cover Girl remarked.

"Uh…I don't think he does," Roadblock gulped as he heard the horse whinny very loudly and the sound of the buggy moving went faster. 

"Slow down horsie!" Bazooka called out. "Not so fast!" 

It was shortly thereafter that they made their way to a setting in the middle of the park section of the base. "WHOA!" Bazooka screamed. Finally the horse obeyed. "Okay that wasn't so bad…"

"Man what a ride," Todd hopped down and helped Althea down. 

"I'll say! What?" Althea looked. There was a small table on a small gazebo lit up with tiny white lights. The table was there with plates, silverware, flowers and candles. 

"Oh my," Althea gasped as Todd helped her into her chair. "This is…How did you do all of this?"

"Like I said I had a little help," Todd admitted. 

"_Oh this is the night, it's a beautiful night! And they call it Bella notte!" _BA came out dressed up in a gypsy costume pushing a tray with food on it. There was a CD player playing music underneath the tray. _"Look at the skies, they have stars in their eyes on this lovely Bella notte! Side by side with your loved one you'll find enchantment here! The night will weave its magic spell when the one you love is near! Oh this is the night and the heavens are ripe on this lovely bella notte!" _

He sang as he served the meal, a simple chicken dinner with stuffing. When he finished he even did cherries flambé. Well he tried to but he ended up setting his beard on fire. But even as he ran around screaming for the fire extinguisher all Todd and Althea could see was each other. They held hands and gazed into each other's eyes. 

Althea stood up and Todd followed her. They began to dance to the music. Until BA overturned the CD box. "OH GREAT NOW I GOT THE TABLE ON FIRE!" BA shouted.

"Uh you wanna get outta here?" Todd asked.

"I thought you'd never ask," Althea said.

"Allow me," Todd took her in his arms and they hopped away. Leaving BA and Bazooka to deal with the fire and a runaway horse. 

Todd carried Althea up to a high tree where they could be alone and look at the sky. "Todd thank you," Althea told him. "This has been the best birthday of my life."

"This has been the best day of my life," Todd told her. 

"Look at the view up here. It's beautiful," Althea looked at the sky. 

"So are you," Todd said automatically. "Here. This is my real present to you." He took out a small box. 

Althea opened it and saw a small silver ring with a pink stone in it. "Todd…" 

"I know it ain't expensive or too fancy," Todd said. "But what it means is what's important. It's kind of like a promise ring. An 'engaged to be engaged' ring. If you want me." 

"Are you asking me to…?" Althea blinked.

"Well sort of," Todd scratched his head. "I mean I don't mean you have to answer right away. It just means you're my girl and I'll…I'll wait for you."

"Wait for me to do what?" Althea looked at him wryly.

"Nothin'," Todd shrugged. "Just…wait. That's all." He put the ring on her finger.

"You'd better," Althea grinned and kissed him. They sat in the tree and kissed under the moonlight. 

Unfortunately they did not go unobserved. Hiding behind some shrubs Brittany held up a small radio like device and listened in on the headphones. "He gave her the ring!" She chirped. 

"Not so loud," Quinn hissed. "Do you want them to hear us?" The triplets were sitting on Fred's shoulders. 

"Guys will you stop moving around so much!" Fred hissed. 

"Hold still!" Daria snapped. 

"I'm not so sure this is a good idea," Xi remarked.

"Oh shut up," Lance snapped. The others were piled on top of each other in order to be unobserved as well. "I knew he'd do it! You owe me five bucks Wanda!" 

"Isn't that sweet," Pietro sniffed. "Our little Toddles is growing up!" 

"Will you get your elbow out of my eye!" Lance hissed. 

"Move it you losers!" Wanda snapped. "I want to see too!" 

"Will you quit shoving me?" Daria snapped.

"Stop that! It hurts!" Xi snapped.

"You stop shoving!" Brittany snapped. 

"Are you trying to get us all caught?" Wanda snapped. 

"Well maybe if somebody wasn't hogging all the space here!" Lance snapped. 

"SHHHHHH!" The others hissed.

"Oh shhhhh yourselves!" Lance snapped back. 

"HI GUYS!" Polly squawked in his loudest voice. "WHAT ARE ALL OF YOU GUYS DOING BEHIND THE BUSHES?" 

"SHHHHH!" They all hissed. 

"WHY ARE YOU SHUSHING ME? DON'T YOU GUYS WANT TO BE SEEN?" Polly shouted. "HEY LOOK AT THAT COOL RADIO!" 

"SHHHH!" They hissed. Then they saw a very angry Todd and Althea standing over them.

"Hi," Pietro waved. "How's the date going?" 

"YOU ARE ALL DEAD!" Todd shouted, then he slimed them. 

"AAGGGH!" They screamed. 

"Let's kill them," Althea growled. 

"RUN AWAY!" Fred shouted as he took off. "RUN AWAY!" 

Meanwhile at a nearby lookout post, "Shipwreck are you sure this is all right?" Stalker asked.

"Yeah, yeah," Shipwreck waved his hand. "Don't worry about it." 

"Awk!" Polly flew up to him. "Agent Double O Parrot reporting! Awk!" 

"Okay bird, report," Shipwreck said. 

"Pay me first!" The bird demanded.

"How about a fist full of pounds?" Shipwreck made a fist and chased Polly everywhere. 

"Oh yeah," Stalker watched as Todd and Althea chased the other kids as Shipwreck and Polly trashed the lookout post. "I can't wait until the next birthday comes around here!" 


	51. The Court Martial of Sergeant Snuffles

****

I had a very strange idea in my head and it would not go away. Prepare yourselves. The next few chapters are just going to be craziness with very little plot. Why? Because that's the way it's going in my insane mind that's why!!! 

**The Court Martial of Sergeant Snuffles**

The trouble started the way most messes on the base started. Shipwreck decided that he'd had enough work for the day and wanted to goof off. In fact, he didn't feel like doing anything, such as teaching the kids for the day. So he simply told them to do some kind of class project and videotape it for him to judge it. 

_The perfect crime, _Shipwreck sighed as he relaxed in his hammock. 

"SHIPWRECK!" Beach Head shouted as he stormed up to him. Duke was reluctantly following him. "WHERE ARE THOSE INSANE KIDS?"

Shipwreck calmly looked around. "Not here." 

"I can see that!" Beach Head hissed.

"Shipwreck wasn't today the day you were supposed to be teaching the kids in class?" Duke asked.

"I gave them a project to do." 

"What kind of project?" Beach Head growled.

"How should I know? I told them to surprise me."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Duke grabbed the hammock and tipped Shipwreck out. "Come on! Let's go find them!"

"Okay, okay," Shipwreck grumbled. "What's got your panties in a twist anyway?"

"They stole his teddy bear again," Duke told them as they went off to find the kids.

"Sgt. Snuffles isn't just a teddy bear!" Beach Head snapped.

"Beach Head please," Shipwreck groaned. "We don't want to know what your relationship to that stuffed animal is! Hey Tunnel Rat! Have you seen the kids?"

"Yeah they were in the courthouse last I checked," Tunnel Rat told him. "Said they had some kind of project due. Now that I think about it, they also had your teddy bear Beach Head." 

"WHAT?" Beach Head and the others raced off. They burst in the courtroom and saw all the kids dressed up. "What are you doing?" Beach Head shouted.

"We're putting Sgt. Snuffles on trial," Todd said matter of factly. 

"YOU ARE WHAT?" Beach Head shouted. 

"It's a class project," Wanda said. "I'm the prosecutor, Toad's the defending attorney. Xi's the bailiff. Pietro's the court stenographer…"

"Why do I have to be the court stenographer?" Pietro snapped.

"Because you're the only one who can type," Wanda said. "Well at least type well." 

"Who's the judge?" Shipwreck asked. "Lance?"

"No I'm filming the project," Lance told them. He was wearing a director's beret and shades. "Okay people quiet on the set!" He shouted in a bullhorn. 

"Then who?" Duke asked.

"I am!" Althea walked in wearing judges' robes.

"Wait a minute," Lance pointed out. "Isn't this supposed to be a military court?"

"Yeah but none of Hawk's uniforms fit me," Althea said. "It's all just pretend anyway."

"See Duke," Shipwreck said. "The kids are fine. You have to admit it's a good project for them."

"A very fitting project for them since they've had a lot of run-ins with the law," Beach Head grumbled.

"So why don't we leave the kids alone," Shipwreck asked. 

"I think we all should hang around here just to supervise them," Duke stopped Shipwreck from leaving. 

"Yeah if you think I'm leaving Sgt. Snuffles alone with these lunatics you are mistaken!" Beach Head grumbled as they sat down in the back. 

"ACTION!" Lance shouted. 

"The people vs. Sgt. Snuffles," Xi said. "On the charge of murder in the first degree." 

"WHAT?" Beach Head shouted. "THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS! SGT. SNUFFLES WOULD NEVER HURT ANYONE! THIS IS A FRAME UP!" 

"Oh for god's sakes Beach Head get a grip," Duke moaned. 

"Your Honor. We will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the defendant murdered a Miss Pink Fuzzybunnyslippers in a fit of jealous rage," Wanda said. "Murdered in cold blood as an act of revenge when she started to see another man behind his back." 

"I do not believe I am watching this," Duke moaned.

"Neither am I," Beach Head folded his arms. "It's a travesty of justice! We all know Sgt. Snuffles is innocent!" 

"I don't know. I always thought he had shifty eyes," Shipwreck said.

"I am not here," Duke moaned. "I am asleep in my office having a very bad dream. I am not here." 

"Therefore the people demand the maximum penalty," Wanda continued. "Shot at dawn."

"YOU ARE NOT GOING TO SHOOT MY TEDDY BEAR!" Beach Head shouted. 

"Order in the court!" Althea banged on her gavel. "And if anyone actually orders some food I will personally sentence you to 20 years in Sing Sing!" Everyone looked at Fred. 

"I wasn't hungry anyway," Fred sniffed. 

"Just out of curiosity, how many cups of BA's coffee did you kids have?" Duke sighed.

"Only a couple cups," Todd said.

"Apiece?" Duke asked. Todd nodded. "Oh goody." 

"Hey are we gonna get on with this or are we gonna goof off all day?" Althea asked. 

"Oh okay," Todd got up and strutted around the room. "Your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, esteemed colleagues, people of the media, friends, Romans, countrymen…"

"GET ON WITH IT!" Everyone shouted. 

"Sgt. Snuffles is a good teddy bear," Todd continued. "A faithful teddy bear. An honest teddy bear. Now look at this face," He held up the bear. "Is this the face of a murderer? Is this the face of a monster? Sgt. Snuffles is an innocent bear! Innocent! He was framed!" 

"I told you so!"

"Beach Head will you please shut up?" Althea shouted. "I lost my train of thought. Pietro read back what the defense said from the record."

"From the record?" Pietro asked. "What you wanted me to write that down?" 

"Where's a nice relaxing assignment to a terrorist base in Afghanistan when you need it?" Duke moaned. 

"Oh forget it!" Althea said. "Prosecution call your first witness!"

"I call to the stand, Detective Dukes!" Wanda said. 

Fred put on a police hat and went to the stand. Xi held up a book. "Do you swear?" Xi started to say.

"Certainly not! It's a bad habit!" Fred said.

"Will you let him finish?" Althea groaned. "Are you gonna tell the truth or not?"

"Give me a minute," Fred looked like he was thinking. 

"This is the future of the human race huh?" Beach Head asked. "I wonder if it's possible to transfer to another species?" 

"Detective Dukes," Wanda began. "Can you describe what happened the evening of November the something of something?" 

"The something of something?" Althea asked.

"We couldn't agree on a date," Wanda told her.

"Oh, carry on." 

"Well," Fred said. "I was having a doughnut at my desk. One of those maple glazed ones. Those are really good. You know they are just fluffy enough…"

"She wants you to tell her about the murder Perry Mason!" Althea whacked him on the head with her gavel. 

"Oh that," Fred rubbed his head. "Well we found the victim dead on her apartment floor. She had been killed somehow and we decided that Sgt. Snuffles must have done it because he was the last one to see her alive. Well that and the letter telling him that she was breaking off the engagement was there right next to the body as well."

"The methods of modern police detection in action folks," Beach Head droned.

"Shipwreck we really have got to increase these kids education on the judicial system," Duke groaned. "Or their medication."

"Either way suits me," Beach Head grumbled. 

"I now call to the stand Mr.Stupid," Wanda put the stuffed cat on the stand. "Mr. Stupid can you tell us about your relationship with the victim." Silence. "I see. Mr. Stupid said that he had a long-standing affair with Ms. Pinkfuzzybunnyslippers. And that she was going to break off her engagement with Sgt. Snuffles."

"I do not believe this," Duke moaned as Wanda went on.

"Neither do I," Beach Head said. "Sgt. Snuffles is gonna fry." The other two men looked at him.

"Oh look it's now Toad's turn," Shipwreck sighed as he went up and started his defense. 

"I object!" Wanda stood up. "The defense is influencing the judge!"

Althea looked up. Todd had his head in her lap. "What makes you say that?" She asked innocently. 

"You gotta admit it's a good strategy," Shipwreck commented.

"Now Mr. Stupid," Todd strutted around. "Isn't really true that the victim was really breaking up with you and not the defendant? In fact I have proof that the note left was a perfect forgery. Exhibit A!" He showed two pieces of paper. "And Exhibit B. Exhibit A is the note left at the crime scene and Exhibit B is a note found in your drawer. A note almost identical to Exhibit A but with one small change, the note is breaking off with you not Sgt. Snuffles! How do you account for this?" Silence. "Speechless huh? What about Exhibit C? These sticks of dynamite? Along with this plan to blow up Sgt. Snuffles?" Todd took them out. 

"Now where did you get those?" Duke asked.

"The triplets made them," Todd said. "Which brings me to Exhibit D…one purchase order…" 

"IT WAS MR. STUPID ALL ALONG!" Beach Head shouted. "ADMIT IT! ADMIT IT YOU STUPID CAT!" Beach Head leapt up and started strangling the stuffed animal. 

"BEACH HEAD WILL YOU KNOCK IT OFF?" Duke shouted and tried to pry him away from the cat. "You'll kill him! What am I saying?" 

"Die Cat die!" Beach Head strangled the stuffed animal and threw it against the wall. As he got caught up in the moment he took out his rifle. 

"NOOOO!" Wanda shouted and hexed it so that the bullets missed the stuffed animal and went right into the wall. And into the dynamite. The kids barely missed being blown up along with the wall. 

"Well that ends that case," Todd coughed. 

"You blew up a wall!" Fred cried out. "You did a bad thing!"

"And you say we make a mess?" Lance laughed. 

"Sorry," Beach Head gulped. "I got a little carried away." 

"No really?" Shipwreck asked sarcastically. 

"How are we going to get out of this?" Duke snapped. "We've already blown up two walls this month! Headquarters will want someone to take the blame!" 

Shipwreck scratched his head. Then his eyes came to rest on the teddy bear. "I have an idea…" 

************************************************************************

Not long after at the Pentagon some staff sergeants were going over some papers. "Look at this!" One said. "Another request for funds for a wall! What is it with those Joes?" 

"How did it happen this time?" The other officer asked. 

"According to this one of the officers went nuts after somebody framed a friend of his for murdering a stuffed animal," The first officer said. "Take a look." 

"Well whoever this Sgt. Snuffles is I hope they throw the book at him this time!" The second officer said. "That's the third thing he's blown up this year!" 


	52. Bonding With Beach Head

**Bonding With Beach Head**

"All right, let's have a little talk shall we?" Hawk said to the assembled Misfits. "It's about what happened this afternoon!"

"What happened to the wall wasn't our fault," Todd said.

"That's debatable!" Beach Head snapped.

"Pipe down Beach Head!" Hawk told him. "I'll deal with you in a minute! You kids have got to stop teasing him!"

"Why?" Wanda asked. 

"Yeah he's such a jerk!" Pietro said.

"Well so are you!" Beach Head snapped.

"I am not!" Pietro snapped.

"Are too!" Beach Head snapped. 

"Am not!" 

"Are too!" 

"Are not!" 

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!" 

"KNOCK IT OFF!" Hawk snapped. "And stop making faces at each other! Okay I think it's time that we all have a little group session with Psyche-Out here. And by we I mean all of you and not me." 

A collective groan came from the group. "Couldn't you just give us KP duty for a hundred years instead?" Lance moaned. 

"Is this part of my punishment?" Beach Head snapped. 

"Yes, now take it away Psyche-Out," Hawk left the room. 

"All righty then," Psyche-Out said. "Let's start with a group hug!"

"Over my dead body!" Beach Head snapped. 

"Don't worry!" Fred told him. "We won't!" 

"Why do you show such animosity towards Beach Head?" Psyche-Out asked. 

"We don't show ani-mostity," Fred scratched his head. "We just don't like him."

"But you all have so much in common," Psyche-Out said.

"Like what?" Lance asked.

"Well when he was a kid people thought he was trash too," Psyche-Out said. "They treated him very badly." 

"HEY!" Beach Head snapped. "That's private!"

"Not anymore," Todd waved. "They really did that to him? Why?" 

"Because his family was so poor they didn't have a Thanksgiving turkey, they had Thanksgiving Spam," Psyche-Out said. 

"YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL THEM THAT!" Beach Head snapped.

"What's wrong with Thanksgiving Spam?" Fred asked.

"They really treated him badly yo?" Todd asked. 

"Don't tell him!" Beach Head snapped.

"Yeah they really treated him like garbage," Psyche-Out said. "That's why he worked so hard in school, so he could prove to everyone he wasn't worthless."

"Really?" Lance blinked. "I didn't know that." 

"By becoming an overachiever he was able to put behind all his pain," Psyche-Out said. "He even became class Valedictorian."

"I'll bet that showed those stuck up twits!" Wanda cheered.

"And he also has a body odor problem like Toad," Psyche-Out said. "Of course unlike Toad all he really needs to do is take a shower more often."

"Hey we do have a lot in common!" Todd said.

"Psyche, if you want to help me…DON'T!" Beach Head shouted. 

"We're sorry we made fun of you Beach Head," Pietro said. "From now on we'll be nicer to you!" 

"Yeah! How about we spend time with you every day?" Todd grinned. 

"NO!" Beach Head shouted.

"You can be our new best friend," Althea grinned. 

"NO!" Beach Head shouted. 

"Now isn't that better?" Psyche-Out said. 

"No it is not!" Beach Head snapped. 

"Group hug!" Fred grabbed Beach Head in a huge hug. 

"I liked it better when they hated me!" Beach Head shouted. 


	53. We're Not Bonded, We're Crazy Glued!

****

Now I am going to work on the friendships the kids and the adults have with each other. Friendships, not romances! Other than Todd and Althea I am not planning any inter-romances with the kids. Not in this fic anyway! He He! 

We're Not Bonded, We're Crazy Glued

A day after the incident with Sgt. Snuffles and the dynamite Shipwreck told the gang that he was going away for a few days. This didn't make the adults any happier because they had one less person to keep the kids in line. However since the adult going was Shipwreck and they would have at least a week free of his insanity they weren't too unhappy either.

"So where's he going yo?" Todd asked. 

"He's going off to Amsterdam to see some of his old buddies," Althea told them. "He does this every couple of years." 

Shipwreck was all packed and saying his good-byes. "Now try not to blow anything else up while I'm gone will ya?" He asked. 

"Well as long as the kids don't steal Beach Head's teddy bear again," Cover Girl said as she handed him Claudius. 

"Okay kiddo," Shipwreck kissed Claudius on the forehead. "It's bye bye time! I love you kid but you're making me nuts." Claudius giggled as he handed him back. "Well its time for me to say so long swabbies!"

"Bye Bye!" Polly fluttered his wings. "See ya losers!"

"What do you mean losers bird?" Shipwreck told him. "You're staying behind too!"

"WHAT? THIS IS CRUEL AND UNUSAL PUNISHMENT!" Polly cried. 

"Don't worry I think the kids will survive it," Shipwreck told him. "See ya!" He walked away.

"Bye!" The kids called out as he left the house.

"Smell ya later!" Pietro called out.

"Don't get arrested!" Althea called out. 

"Try to stay sober for at least a couple hours huh?" Cover Girl called out. 

When he left Roadblock called a family meeting. "What's this all about Roadblock?" Lance asked.

"We think it's time we all become a little closer," Roadblock told him. "Psyche-Out gave us some family bonding activities. And we are all going to do them together." This was met with groans. 

"You gotta be kidding me?" Wanda asked. "Who are we? The Brady Bunch?"

"More like the Bundys," Pietro said. 

"Okay the point of all this is for you kids to bond with us some more," Roadblock said. 

"We'd be better off with duct tape," Low Light muttered. 

"Yes well as fun as that sounds this way will be better," Cover Girl said as she wrote names down on a piece of paper. "One kid will spend two hours with the adult written down."

"Wait a minute," Pietro remarked. "There are only 5 adults and 11 kids! How's that gonna work?"

"Simple," Roadblock told him. "Two of you are going to spend time with the Triplets and the baby. It's to teach you how to care for other's as well as cooperation." 

"Oh lovely," Pietro grabbed his paper. "I wonder who's gonna be stuck watching those little lunatics. WHAT? NO WAY!" 

"Let me guess, you got them?" Lance snickered.

"Goody!" The Triplets cheered. 

"This can't get any worse," Pietro groaned. 

"I got them as well," Xi said. He glared at Pietro.

"Me and my big mouth," Pietro grumbled. 

The remaining kids each drew lots. It went like this.

Roadblock-Lance

Cover Girl-Todd

Low Light-Fred

Spirit-Wanda

Blind Master-Althea

Pietro and Xi-The Triplets and Claudius

"Oh great," Pietro rolled his eyes. "Anybody want to trade?" 

"No trading," Roadblock said. "We all stay with who we drew," He blinked at Lance. "Uh…So kid, what's new?"

"Oh great," Lance sighed. "The next two hours are going to fly by." 

"Come on kid," Roadblock led him into the kitchen. "Why don't we try getting things ready for dinner. A cooking lesson ought to do to break through." 

"So Spirit, maybe you can teach me how to meditate or something," Wanda shifted.

"Perhaps," Spirit said. "Or I could teach you how to shoot arrows that are on fire."

"Cool!" Wanda followed him outside. 

"Aw I wanted to do that!" Althea pouted.

"Don't worry kid," Gabriel led her out. "I'll teach you some more ninja moves."

"Great!" Althea chirped. 

"Great now we have to deal with the rugrats," Pietro looked around. "Where did they go? Xi have you seen…? Xi? XI DID YOU PULL A DISAPPEARING ACT ON ME?" He raced away to look for them. 

Todd blinked at Cover Girl. "Hi."

"Now Todd," Cover Girl bent down slightly. "It's okay to feel a little awkward. But that's what this is all about. So we can get to know each other better. We are family now."

"Does that make you my new mom?" Todd asked.

"I guess so," Cover Girl shrugged. "Yeah I guess it does." 

"Okay!" Todd grabbed her around the waist, giving her a big hug. 

"Oh boy," Cover Girl groaned dragging Todd out of the room. 

That left Low Light and Fred alone in the living room. "So now what do we do?" Low Light asked. 

"TV?" Fred asked.

"Good idea," Low Light turned it on. 

Meanwhile Pietro was having problems of his own. "Will you girls please untie me?" He whined.

"No!" Brittany yelled. "You're going to stay with us forever and ever and play with us and marry us and be our pet and do the dishes and…"

"XI!" Pietro yelled. Suddenly his bonds loosened. "Huh?"

"Not so loud," Xi reappeared. "I can hear you."

"The prisoners are escaping!" Polly called out. "AWK!" 

"Get them!" The triplets cried out. 

"Let's get out of here!" Pietro grabbed Xi and ran off. They hid in the back yard up one of the trees. "I think we're safe up here. Thanks."

"You're welcome. Not even I could have left you to them," Xi told him. "Pity I am not allowed to harm them and they know it."

"You know you're not so bad," Pietro said. "When you're not being psychotic that is." 

"And you are not so bad when you are not being yourself," Xi grinned.

"Hey!" Pietro snapped.

**_"There they are!"_** The triplets used their abilities to float upwards. **_"We see you!"_**

Both mutants clung to each other. "RUN AWAY!" Pietro cried out as the triplets laughed maniacally. 

Meanwhile Roadblock and Lance stumbled out of the kitchen filled with smoke. "Wow I've never seen a microwave catch on fire that fast before," Lance coughed. 

"Well so much for that brilliant idea," Roadblock coughed. Then he saw Low Light and Fred on the couch. "What are you two doing?"

"Watching TV," Fred said simply. 

"What?" Roadblock snapped. 

"Why didn't we think of that?" Lance asked.

"Because the point of this exercise is to bond with each other, not to zone out in front of the boob tube!" Roadblock snapped. 

"Hey you just said we had to spend time together," Low Light told him. "You didn't say how! Besides, this is educational." 

"And what pray tell can you learn from Gilligan's Island?" Roadblock asked. 

"Well how not to get rescued for one thing," Low Light said.

"And how to make a radio from coconuts," Fred put in.

"You both are nuts," Roadblock grumbled. 

"Hello there," Cover Girl walked in with Todd still clinging to him. "We've been bonding. Are we done yet?" 

"He's very affectionate," Roadblock told her.

"No kidding!" Cover Girl moaned. 

"Run for your lives!" The triplets ran in screaming. Wanda and Althea were chasing them. 

"You rugrats are going to die!" Althea snapped. 

"Punish them!" Wanda chanted, zapping hexbolts all over the place. "Punish them!" 

"Spirit! Blind Master! We have a disaster!" Roadblock shouted. 

"Sorry!" Gabriel shouted. "We're kind of busy putting out fires back here!"

"Are they gone!" Pietro peeked out from inside a closet. 

"I think so," Xi reappeared. Then the triplets appeared and tackled them. Then Wanda and Althea tackled them. Soon all the kids in the living room were fighting with the exception of Fred, who was cheering them on, Todd who was still clinging to Cover Girl and Lance who was watching in shock with Roadblock. During the chaos Roadblock and Lance snuck outside, quietly. 

"You wanna sneak out of here and hide?" Lance asked.

"Better than going back inside!" Roadblock said. They both ran off, not planning to come back for a long time. 

**More surprises abound! And guess what? The Misfits get a new recruit. Sort of. Who will it be? **


	54. Insanity and Surprises

**Insanity and Surprises**

The next morning Cover Girl had an announcement. "We're going on a field trip," Cover Girl told them. "Because you kids have all earned it."

"Not to mention Hawk wants some time to repair the base," Low Light muttered underneath his breath. "Roadblock, Avalanche what possessed the two of you to trash the firing range?" 

"We were just letting off some steam," Roadblock waved. "Also working on bonding as a team." 

"Like you guys were doing yesterday," Lance said. 

"Oh man we are more messed up than I thought," Low Light sighed. 

Somehow they found a huge army truck and drove off. After nearly half an hour they soon reached their destination. "Wal-Mart," Low Light groaned as they got out. "This ought to be fun." 

"Not just any Wal-Mart!" Cover Girl said cheerfully. "It's one of them with the grocery stores inside."

"Oh that just makes it extra special," Low Light drawled.

"Actually I'm looking forward to it," Pietro said. 

"What?" Low Light asked.

"Be afraid," Lance told him. "Be very afraid." 

"What about Xi?" Todd pointed out.

"Oh yeah I forgot," Althea looked at him. "People will see him! And no offense Xi but folks aren't going to be exactly thrilled by how you look."

"So they will simply not see me," Xi shrugged and turned himself invisible. 

"Well that's one way to solve the problem," Todd said. 

"Hey they got all the new Malerie's Surprise underwear out," Fred grabbed a nearby pamphlet. 

"Malerie's Surprise?" Cover Girl's voice grew cold. 

"What is it?" Fred asked.

"I know Malerie herself," Cover Girl said. "From my days as a model. But I don't want to talk about it. It would do you no good to tell you what a scheming backstabbing slut she was!" 

"Okay uh, Spirit," Low Light looked at him. "I don't think they'll allow Freedom in the store."

"Well Polly's coming," Althea said.

"Awk, fair is fair!" The parrot whistled. 

"Oh here we go," Roadblock groaned as they went inside. 

Not long after shouts, screams and questions were all over the store.

"Now how in the world could you have seen a tornado in housewares?" 

"Why is there bubble bath all over the floor?" 

"Who drew faces on all the pumpkins?"

"How did all the lobsters get loose?" 

"Has someone been sampling the wine in the wine aisle?" 

"Who switched clothes on all the mannequins?"

"Where did that earthquake come from?" 

"Run for your life! There's a crazy parrot dive bombing people!" 

"How did the underwear department catch on fire?" 

"Who let that bald eagle in here?" 

"Where did all the chocolate cream pies go?"

"What is that stuff on the wall?" 

"Will the two nuts dueling with the toy lightsabers knock it off!" 

"I did not see a kid climb on the walls. I did not see a kid climb on the walls. I did not see a kid climb on the walls…" 

"There's this weird looking psychotic baby in the makeup department! He's drawing lipstick on everything he can see!"

"Well that explains your face and clothes." 

"Will somebody please stop those kids from playing with the fire extinguishers?" 

"Who ate all the grapes?" 

"For the last time George there is no such thing as an invisible man!"

"Well then how do **you** explain those cookies flying around by themselves?" 

"Okay now how did **that** get on the ceiling?" 

"Somebody help me! These three strange girls stole my pants!" 

"Will you people stop having cart races in the aisles?" 

"Okay who tied up the greeter with toilet paper?" 

"He ate **_what?_**" 

"Who set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals?" 

"Marco!"

"Polo!" 

"Who wound up all the toy cars?" 

"There are no such things as invisible people. There are no such things as invisible people. There are no such things as…" 

"Okay! Who's been sampling all the air fresheners? This aisle stinks!"

"Look we have a situation here! There's this strange white haired kid dueling an even stranger blond guy in army getup and night goggles with tubes of gift rap! They're starting to scare people!" 

"No we do not have valet parking sir! What kids drove off with your car?" 

"There are Cheerios all over the floor."

"Its okay, that weird baby and that fat kid there are eating them." 

"Marco!"

"Polo!" 

"Cleanup in aisle seven. And eight. And nine. And ten…." 

"You are not allowed to bowl with fruit in the aisles!" 

"There's some kind of snake creature in the women's bathroom! I saw it! Just before it disappeared!" 

"Sir please stop banging your head against the wall." 

"I can't stand it," Roadblock groaned as he banged his head against the wall. "I'm gonna have a fit!" 

************************************************************************

"I cannot believe this!" Hawk snapped. They were all assembled in his office the following day. "Can't you people go anywhere? I expected better out of you! You trashed a Wal-Mart! There is no excuse for this behavior! And you kids were just as bad as the adults were!"

"We were just following their example," Todd said innocently.

"Liar!" Low Light snapped. 

"Quiet!" Hawk snapped. "Blind Master, Spirit! I'm especially disappointed in the two of you! Really, two grown men playing 'Marco Polo' in the aisles. Not to mention chasing the store manager with toy lightsabers!" 

"We merely sensed a disturbance in the force," The Blind Master said matter of factly. 

"You're disturbed all right! And I'm gonna use force!" Hawk snapped. "Roadblock you're supposed to be the leader here and look what happened!" 

"I didn't mean to make those dents in the wall," Roadblock said. "But I had enough of them all. But I did get them under control."

"If you can call that by screaming at the top of your lungs 'If you don't knock it off I will shoot you down like a dog' and chasing after them with a fire extinguisher…"

"That was for Cover Girl!" Roadblock defended.

"I was merely protesting Malerie's sexist underwear," She sniffed. "It wasn't fit to be exposed to impressionable children." 

"I don't know what's more incredible," Hawk said. "The fact you caused that much damage after the **last** time you maniacs trashed a store or the fact that Shipwreck wasn't there to help with the destruction! It was only through sheer terror they refused to press charges against any of you, as long as you never come back!"

"So it's just another place we're banned from," Low Light shrugged. 

"We're on KP duty aren't we?" Lance asked.

"Oh yeah. For at least a…" Hawk snarled. Suddenly an explosion rocked the base. "WHAT THE…"

"That wasn't me!" Lance protested. 

"Oh why do I have the feeling that more people will be joining you on KP duty?" Hawk sighed. Then the phone rang. Hawk picked it up. "Yes? Oh…goody. No don't tell me what happened. I want it to be a surprise."

"What's all that about," Althea asked as Hawk hung up. 

"Oh good news," Hawk said. "Shipwreck's coming back early tonight. Wonderful. I wonder what he blew up this time?" 

Duke poked his head into the room. "Uh sir that noise you heard, some of the men accidentally blew up one of the tanks." 

"Please tell me it was during maneuvers," Hawk groaned. 

"Uh no, it was Leatherneck and Wet Suit being their usual immature selves," Duke admitted. 

"Don't tell me the details. If I wanted to be around mature people I should have opened a day care center," Hawk sighed. "Same thing as what I'm doing now only there aren't any explosives!" 

************************************************************************

That afternoon Lance, Pietro and Xi found themselves delegated to the potato peeling room. "Well this is a fun way to spend the day," Lance sighed. 

"I think you've been hanging around Roadblock too long," Pietro said. "You're starting to talk like him." He then noticed that Xi was fingering something in his pocket. "Hey what are you doing?"

"Nothing," Xi said quickly.

"Hey you've got something!" Lance said. "What is it?" 

"What do you have there Xi?" Pietro grabbed it. "What the…?" 

"What is it?" Lance asked. It was a star shaped bottle. Pietro held it up so he could smell it. "Perfume? Where did you get perfume?"

"Is that what it is?" Xi asked. "I saw it yesterday at the store. It was interesting and it smelled nice so I wanted to examine it."

"You stole perfume?" Lance asked.

"Is that wrong?" Xi blinked.

Lance and Pietro looked at each other a full few seconds before cracking up with laughter. "Oh Xi," Pietro laughed. "Sometimes you can be a real riot!" 

"I did something wrong didn't I?" Xi asked.

"Well it was no more wrong than any of the other stuff we did yesterday," Lance shrugged. "No big deal. But I wouldn't mention this to any of the adults if I were you. I can't believe you took perfume of all things!" 

"I like the scent," Xi sniffed it. 

"You put it on like this," Pietro squirted some on Xi's arm. "See?" 

"Oh," Xi took a sniff. "I like that! It's very nice!"

"It is nice isn't it?" Pietro squirted himself.

"Uh you guys do know that stuff is for women right?" Lance asked getting a little worried. 

"It's for females?" Xi blinked. "What do they use it for?"

"It makes them more attractive for guys," Pietro explained. 

"And males don't put on scent?" Xi asked.

"Actually they do," Lance told Xi. 

"So you wear perfume too," Xi said.

"Actually we wear cologne," Lance said. 

"What's that?" Xi asked.

"Liquid scent like this," Pietro explained. "Only stronger."

"So you do wear perfume too," Xi said.

"No we wear cologne," Lance said. "Guys wear cologne." 

"But it's the exact same thing as perfume," Xi said. "Therefore it is perfume."

"No it's like perfume but it's not!" Lance said. 

"Perfume," Xi said.

"Cologne," Lance snapped. 

"Perfume."

"Cologne!"

"Perfume!"

"Cologne!" Lance screamed. "Cologne! Cologne! Cologne!" 

Xi blinked. "Perfume."

"AGGGHHH!" Lance groaned. "Look Xi, boys wear cologne! Girls wear perfume! Got it?" 

"But it's the same thing with a different name," Xi told him. 

"Yeah Lance lighten up," Pietro squirted him with it.

"AGGGHH!" Lance screamed again. "Don't do that!" 

Pietro squirted him again. "Pietro I am warning you," Lance clenched his fists. "If you do that one more time…" Pietro did it again. "THAT'S IT! YOU'RE DEAD!" Immediately Lance started chasing Pietro around, unsuccessfully. 

"Oh yeah like you're really gonna catch me!" Pietro stuck his tongue out from on top of a pile of potatoes.

"We'll see about that!" Lance snapped as he sent off a tremor, causing the potatoes to fall. Unfortunately they fell on him and Xi. 

"Not one of your smarter moves Lance," Pietro quipped as he struggled to free himself from the potatoes.

"Oh shut up and dig me out of here," Lance grumbled from underneath the mound. 

"What the heck is going on in here?" BA stormed in and looked at the mess. 

"Pietro was annoying Lance with perfume and Lance got mad," Xi told him.

"So that's why it smells like perfume in here?" BA asked. 

"Sorry," Lance gulped.

"No don't be. I like it!" BA told him. 

"This place is nuts," Lance muttered. 

************************************************************************

Later that evening Shipwreck swaggered home with something in a blanket. "Hi Kids! I got a surprise for you!" He called out. Immediately he was swarmed with kids trying to take a good look at what was in his hands. 

"We got a pet?" Quinn asked happily.

"Cool!" Pietro shouted. 

"Not exactly," Shipwreck told her. Adjusting the blanket so they could see what was inside. A pair of large black eyes blinked at them. 

"What the…?" Lance yelped. Inside the blanket was a tiny mutant. It had a beak on its face and was covered with soft downy feathers on its tiny body.

"Kids," Shipwreck said matter of factly. "Meet your new brother. His name's Barnell or Barney for short. But we call him 'Beak'." 

**Yup, I 'Evo-tized' one of my favorite new mutants! I think he goes better with the Misfits anyway! Coming up! More on Baby Beaky! **


	55. Baby Beaky

**Baby Beaky**

"Where in the world did you get him?" Althea asked.

"I found him," Shipwreck said. "Hey you wanted something to take care of and play with."

"We also wanted something we could play fetch with," Todd said. "Hey look at his arm yo!" He pointed to the baby mutant's tiny arm. Just above the three-fingered hand was a tiny cast. "What happened to it?"

"Its okay it's going to heal just fine," Shipwreck shifted the frightened infant closer to his chest. "Right baby Beak?" 

"Why don't you call him Barney?" Wanda asked.

"He doesn't know it's his name yet," Shipwreck explained. "He only responds to 'Beak' so far. His new official name is Barnell Bohusk Delgato. But I thought 'Barney' would be better for him." 

"He's definitely a Barney," Wanda said looking at him. 

At this Barney squawked. "He's not used to all these people yet," Shipwreck explained. 

"Well we should make him feel at home then. Hi there," Lance tried to tickle Barney's chin. At this Barney took offense and bit him. "YEOWCH!" 

"Yup he's right at home here all right," Fred chuckled. 

"Geeze that beak is sharp!" Lance held his finger. "I'm lucky he didn't draw blood!" 

"Okay Shipwreck spill it," Cover Girl said. "Where did you get him?"

"I told you I found him," Shipwreck said. "Let me put him down first. It's been a long trip," He took him upstairs. 

"Okay little guy," Shipwreck told Barney. "Let's go meet your new roommate. Hey there Claudie!" Shipwreck grinned when he saw Claudius gurgling from his crib. "Look what I got you! A new brother!" He put Barney in the crib. "See! Now you have someone to play with and hang out with instead of the girls." 

Both babies looked at each other in fascination. "I'm gonna let you two get acquainted," Shipwreck said as he kissed each one on the forehead. "Now play nice." 

He went out of the room only to be confronted by an entire house full of curious people. "Okay Shipwreck what gives?" Roadblock asked.

"Well I might as well tell all of you the whole story at once," Shipwreck sighed as he closed the door. "In the kitchen. I need some coffee." 

"Where did you find him?" Cover Girl asked as they followed him.

"In a bar in Amsterdam," Shipwreck said. 

"A bar?" Lance asked.

"Yes," Shipwreck said. "That's kind of how I ended up coming back early."

"What did you do?" Cover Girl asked. "And what was that baby doing in a bar?"

"It's not that big a deal," Shipwreck said. "Me and my buddies were going around seeing the sights of the city…"

"Bar hopping," Althea put in.

"Anyway," He glared at her. "We went to this one place where they advertised unusual entertainment. We went in and I saw this little guy." 

"Let me guess," Lance said bitterly. "He was one of the 'entertainments'?" 

"Yeah well he was the only mutant in the place but…" Shipwreck sighed as he poured himself a cup. "Look you guys wanted a pet so I got you a brother. End of story."

"What happened to his arm?" Todd asked. "They were hurting him weren't they?"

"Yeah," Shipwreck looked at his coffee. "Look he was scared and hungry and…you didn't see how they treated him. Didn't even have a diaper on. They bought him from some guy that could have been his father a few months ago. I had to do something so I kind of made the owner an offer he couldn't refuse." 

"What did you do?" Low Light asked. 

"Um, let's just say I'm not going back to Amsterdam anytime soon," Shipwreck shrugged. "Anyway to get the kid legally out of the country I had this buddy who knew someone who pulled a few strings and I legally adopted him."

"WHAT?" Althea yelped. "You mean I have **another** baby brother?"

"Well yes," Shipwreck said simply as he sipped his coffee. 

"I gotta lie down," Althea shook her head and went upstairs. 

"Okay so that's all my news," Shipwreck said. "What's new around here?"

"Oh nothing," Fred said. "We trashed a Wal-Mart, ended up on KP duty. The usual."

"Yeah lucky you," Low Light said. "You got out of it by not being here."

"Uh…don't be too sure," Shipwreck shrugged. "Let's just say compared to what the authorities wanted to do to me in Amsterdam, KP duty is getting off pretty light." ************************************************************************

Not long after Shipwreck went upstairs to check on the babies. He found Althea already there. She was looking into the crib. Both of them were cuddled up together, sound asleep. 

"Look at 'em," Shipwreck marveled. "They're already pals. Sleeping like babies."

"They are babies," Althea told him.

"Look …uh kid," Shipwreck scratched his head. "I know this was kind of a rash decision on my part. It's gonna take some getting used to."

"Save it," Althea stopped him. "You just couldn't leave the little guy there. Actually, what you did was pretty cool."

"Really?"

"Well compared to the way I got my other siblings yeah. This ain't so bad. He is kind of cute, in a geeky sort of way."

"That's the spirit!" Shipwreck put his arm around her. "Okay so he's not blood. Doesn't have any of our genes."

"Hmmm, you know that's another good point. I'm liking this idea more and more." 

"Ha, ha. Very funny."

"Hey I got used to the triplets," Althea shrugged. "And a brother with flippers. Not to mention the other lunatics around here. I guess I can handle a new brother with feathers and a beak." 

Shipwreck put an arm around her and gave her a hug and kissed her on the forehead. "You're a good kid, you know that?"

"Don't be so sloppy," Althea grumbled, but she didn't push him away. "So what did you really do? Set the bar on fire?"

"How did you know?" 

"Lucky guess. But I'm glad you did that. Serves 'em right for what they did!" 

"Yeah well," Shipwreck sighed. "I guess I did get a little carried away."

"But for a good reason," Althea said. 

"Look kid, I ain't gonna lie to you," Shipwreck told her. "Things aren't getting any easier for mutants. Time's gonna come one day when…"

"Dad I know what you're going to say," Althea said. "I don't want to think about things like that. We stopped them from taking us away before. We're safe now. We're not gonna let that happen. We're going to survive Dad, don't worry." She fingered Barney's small tuft of hair on his head. "I won't let any mutant suffer if I have to." 

**Next: Destro finally discovers Emma's true agenda! Will he survive long enough to tell anyone about it? **


	56. Hidden Agenda

**Hidden Agenda**

Destro peered over the notes on the desk in Emma's room. "This is quite interesting," He muttered. 

"What's quite interesting?" Emma asked folding her arms. "And what exactly are you doing in my room?" 

"You're the telepath," Destro said. "You tell me."

"I don't need telepathy to figure out that you're spying on me," She told him. "How did you know about my being a telepath?"

"Research," Destro told her. "I've always been naturally curious. Especially when people tinker with my inventions." 

"Really?" She cocked her head. "And what exactly have you found out."

"That the Pulsar cannon has nothing to do with Cobra's plans for world domination. It's actually a device that will increase sunspot radiation," Destro said. 

"Yes," Emma told him. "This will dramatically increase the number of mutant births. Why enhance only a few mutants when you can encourage the birth of thousands of mutants? With this device our numbers will increase dramatically." 

"Not to mention shortening the lives of anyone without an X-Gene considerably," Destro told her.

"A minor detail," She shrugged. 

"A minor detail that concerns me I'm afraid," Destro told her. "That's why I removed a very important component of the machine." He held up a gem in his hand. "I'm afraid the rest of the Cytorak Gems met with an unfortunate accident. This is the last one."

"Well then I'd better make sure it's safe then," She growled as she whipped out a pistol. 

"Oh really," Destro put the gem in his pocket. "Must we resort to dramatics?"

"I'm afraid so," She said. "No offense Destro as interesting as you are, well…you're still only human." 

"I see," He sighed. "I take it by now you've used your abilities to take control of my men?" 

"What do you think?" She smiled. 

"Well then I suppose I have no choice," Destro sighed, seeming to surrender. At the last second he managed to kick the gun out of her hand. He then managed to grab onto her. "It's a pity really."

"It certainly is," She grunted. Then she flipped him over. Then she leapt at him with a flying kick.

Destro crashed into the wall. He recovered and attacked when she charged. For several minutes they went at it, throwing each other against the room. The entire room was quickly trashed. "I have to admit," Destro panted. "You are a formidable woman. I admire that."

"Thank you," Emma said. "I'm also an intelligent one."

At that moment several soldiers burst into a room. "Why waste one's own energy when you can use someone else's?" She grinned. "Kill him!"

"Perhaps another time," Destro pressed a hidden button near the bookcase and suddenly he dropped through the floor.

"It's a trap door!" One of the soldiers shouted.

"Brilliant observation," Emma said sarcastically. "Find him! Take him alive if you can. Just don't destroy his body!" 

Destro managed to make it to the hanger bay via the hidden tunnels. "There he is!" A soldier shouted. "Get him!" 

Destro managed to knock him out with a single punch. By the time Emma and the other soldiers got down to the hanger, Destro's personal plane had taken off. "SHOOT IT DOWN!" She shouted. 

The castle's defense systems locked onto the jet and shot at it. Its back end was shot off and it crashed into the mountain. "Search everywhere!" Emma shouted to the soldiers. "Make sure you find the body!" They ran down to the wreckage. "We need that crystal!" 

From a distance Destro looked at the smoldering remains. He had launched the plane as a decoy using its automatic pilot. While they were all shooting the plane down, he had snuck out the castle through the back. _This game is not over my dear Emma, not by a long shot! _


	57. Mall of the Wild

**Mall of the Wild**

"This is gonna be fun!" Bree whooped as she drove the van. 

"I have to admit this was a good idea," Cover Girl said. "The girls do need some new clothes and stuff."

"Not to mention that this will be a good for you girls," Scarlet said. "Do a little bonding."

"Not to mention some damage to the credit cards," Althea grinned.

"I haven't been in a mall in ages," Wanda admitted. "Well not shopping in one anyway. I kind of trashed one a while back but that doesn't really count."

"Well that doesn't sound too bad," A Native American woman with long black braids sat next to her. She wore a red top and jeans and did not look very happy. "Actually I would prefer to trash the mall rather than shop at it."

"Aw come on Raven," Bree said. "Lighten up. You could use some time off base." 

"Why couldn't you get Lady Jaye or Jinx or… well anyone else?" Raven moaned. 

"Because they are all on missions," Scarlet told her. "Will you lighten up! This is a girl's day out. It will be fun."

"I am a warrior," Raven grumbled. "This is not my idea of fun."

"You can get a new outfit to impress Slipstream," Althea said. Turning to Wanda she told her. "That's her boyfriend."

"He is **not **my boyfriend!" Raven protested. 

"Oh please," Cover Girl said. "You two have been trading sparks since you defected from Cobra to join GI Joe!"

"We have not!" Raven said sharply.

"You are in such denial of your feelings," Cover Girl said. "We're all friends here. You should be more open and share with us." 

"Oh what about you and Shipwreck?" Raven said.

"What about me and Shipwreck?" Cover Girl said. "We just live together, as caretakers for the kids! Nothing more!"

"I wouldn't say that," Althea said. "You and my dad really get along pretty well."

"Not that well!" 

"Besides she likes Low Light," Wanda said.

"I DO NOT!" Cover Girl shouted. 

"What?" Scarlet yelped.

"When did this happen?" Bree said. 

"Nothing happened!" Cover Girl protested. 

"So you do like my dad?" Althea smiled.

"I DIDN'T SAY THAT EITHER!" Cover Girl shouted. 

"Now who's in denial about her feelings?" Raven cackled. 

"We're here!" Bree sang out as they entered the parking lot.

"And not a moment too soon!" Cover Girl groaned. "There's a space!"

"But that other guy is going for it," Scarlet said. 

"Not if I can help it!" Bree shouted as she swerved, cutting off the guy and claiming the space. "Yes!"

The driver protested by honking the horn. "You snooze you lose pal!" Bree shouted out as he drove by. 

"This is going to be fun," Wanda said as they left the van and headed into the mall. 

"So what are we going to do first?" Althea asked. 

"Bath and Beauty products!" Bree called out.

"Make up!" Cover Girl said.

"Clothes!" Scarlet said. 

"Guns and Ammo!" Raven said. They all looked at her. "Okay then how about the Electronics Boutique? At least I can get a game that will let me blow stuff up!"

"What do you girls want to do?" Scarlet asked the two teenagers. "This is your day out."

"I want to start with the bath and body stuff," Wanda said.

"Me too," Althea nodded. "They have cool stuff there."

"Yay!" Bree chirped happily.

"Ugh," Raven groaned.

"Then we'll hit Electronics Boutique," Wanda said.

"Yay!" Raven smiled.

"Ugh," Bree groaned. 

The gang enjoyed themselves in the Bath and Body Works shop. Even Raven when she found some bath gel she liked. Then they went into the Electronics Boutique store and played with the games. Raven got a few she liked and so did Wanda, Althea and to everyone's surprise Bree.

"I like Harvest Moon," She admitted. "It's so cute. You get to farm and raise animals and grow crops."

"Bo-ring," Raven grumbled. "Give me a shooting game any time!" 

"You just like to blow things up," Cover Girl said.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Raven said. 

Then they hit the clothes stores. Wanda and Althea got into the spirit, pretending they were fashion models. So did Scarlet, Cover Girl and Bree. Raven however was another story. 

"I hate clothes shopping," Raven grumbled. "It's just boring and I hate taking off outfits and putting them on again." 

"I don't know," Cover Girl held up a shimmering dress. "I'll bet you can wow Slipstream with this little number."

She looked at it. "Well I guess it wouldn't hurt to try it on," She said quickly, taking it. 

"I'm gonna go try these on," Wanda said going into the fitting room.

"Me too," Althea followed her.

By strange coincidence at the exact same time The Baroness was trying outfits on in the fitting room. "These shoddy rags are pathetic!" She hissed. "They're too small!"

"It's not the outfits," The sales girl muttered underneath her breath.

"What was that?" The Baroness snapped.

"I said I'll get you something that fits," She said and hurried away.

Just then Althea and Wanda walked in. Althea nearly walked in on the Baroness. "Occupied!" She shouted.

"Whoops. Sorry," Althea said, not recognizing the voice. "Hey this dress is nice!" She noticed a discarded dress on the door and reached for it.

"That's mine you little thief!" Baroness poked her head out and grabbed it. Then she saw who was in the room with her. "YOU?"

"YOU?" Althea and Wanda shouted at the same time. 

"You little freaks! Give me back my dress!" She tugged on it so hard it ripped in half.

Althea looked at the label. "Size 8? Who are you kidding?" 

"Laugh this off!" The Baroness took out a pistol and started to shoot up the place. 

Althea and Wanda dodged the lasers. "Wanda take her out!" Althea shouted. 

"With pleasure!" Wanda threw a hex bolt at her so hard she smashed through the dressing room. 

"What the…?" Scarlet looked over. "The Baroness!"

"Scarlet?" The Baroness got up shakily.

"Baroness?" Cover Girl snapped.

"You too?" Baroness snapped. "Fine, more targets to destroy!" She grabbed a small hidden grenade from her purse and threw it at them.

"Boy security is lousy at this store!" Bree shouted as she grabbed an arm off a mannequin and hit the grenade away from them just before it exploded. Luckily she hit it to a section of the store no one was near so no one got hurt. 

"The nurse?" Baroness hissed and then saw Raven. "And the traitor! Just my luck!"

"Yeah all bad," Raven snarled making a fist. "GET HER!" 

"I COULD REALLY USE SOME HELP HERE!" Baroness shouted. Suddenly several women appeared with lasers and started firing. "Ladies meet my personal guard! Guards, destroy them!" 

"Oh wonderful," Scarlet ducked for cover. "The one time I leave the base without my crossbow!" 

"Did anybody bring any weapons?" Bree asked.

"Who need's em!" Althea said. "Wanda see those sprinklers? Can you turn 'em on?"

"Yeah why…Oh I get it," Wanda threw a hexbolt. Soon there was water all over the place raining down.

"Fools I'm all wet!" The Baroness hissed. "What good does that…? Uh oh." Too late she remembered what Althea could do. 

"Yeah uh oh," Althea grinned and used her powers to make the water droplets attack the troops like killer bees. 

"I am out of here!" The Baroness fled. She ran by a counter filled with jewelry and smashed it, scooping up some diamond necklaces. "Well at least this trip won't be a total loss." 

"Get her!" Scarlet shouted. "She's getting away!" 

Raven and Cover Girl retrieved some weapons from their foes and chased after her. People fled to get out of the way of the women. The Baroness threw another grenade at the women. Just before it exploded, Wanda threw a hexbolt at it so it fizzled.

"Bree and Scarlet are mopping up," Althea shouted as she and Wanda ran up to them. 

"Get back!" Cover Girl warned as the Baroness started firing again. 

"What does it take for you stupid brats to die?" Baroness screamed. 

"Who are you calling stupid?" Wanda snapped throwing hexbolts around, causing several objects to attack her.

"Yeah especially where you're standing!" Althea snapped.

"What do you…?" She looked behind her and saw there was a fountain. "Oh no!"

"Oh yeah!" Althea shouted creating a huge tidal wave that washed the Baroness away. 

They chased after her, but somehow she managed to give them the slip. "I can't believe she got away!" Scarlet and Bree ran up.

"Hey at least I got her purse," Wanda held it up. "And the jewels she swiped." 

"Well that was fun," Cover Girl sighed. "But something tells me we won't be able to put everything on our credit card." She looked at the damage.

"Uh…I don't think Hawk is going to be very happy about this," Scarlet said. "Can't we go anywhere without destroying something?"

"Apparently not," Wanda said as something crashed in the back. "Well, we can always put it on her credit card." She smiled as she held it up.

"I like the way you think!" Cover Girl laughed.

**Next up: A new mission and new trouble ahead! And what's going on in Cobra? Wait and see! **


	58. You Think You Have Troubles?

**You Think You Have Troubles?**

"The Baroness was in the mall?" Hawk gasped. 

"Yeah but she got away," Cover Girl was explaining yesterday's fiasco to him. The Misfits were all at home and were listening in.

"I know about that," Hawk groaned. "Wonderful. We can't go anywhere without those snakes showing up!" 

"She was the one who pulled out the weapon and started firing," Cover Girl said. "We were trying to capture her. Okay it did get a little out of hand…" 

"That's putting it mildly," Hawk sighed. "But that's not the only reason I'm here. We have an assignment for the Misfits. So all of you kids come out. I know you're listening in." 

The kids came out. "What's the assignment sir?" Althea asked.

"I want you to take a look at this," Hawk took out a map of the state of Maine. "There's been reported activity of covert operations going on there and from what our intelligence has gathered, an old friend of yours has finally emerged." He showed them the picture.

"TRASK?" Pietro called out. "Doesn't that guy ever give up?"

"I thought he was in jail?" Lance asked. 

"He got out. I think Trask is rearing his ugly head somewhere around this area," Hawk said. "We need all you older kids to go there pronto. It's an emergency." 

"But why?" Wanda asked. "What's so important about that area?" 

Hawk and Cover Girl looked at each other. "I think it's time we told them about the Eloi," Cover Girl said.

"The who?" Lance asked. 

************************************************************************

Meanwhile deep in the heart of Cobra Headquarters, Mystique was having another one of those days. Never did she dream that posing as Cobra Commander would be such a headache. A swarm of minor officials and officers surrounded her, demanding her attention for dozens of matters. 

"Sir what designs should we incorporate in our new weapons?" 

"Sir should our new base be built with nuclear power or thermal volcano power?" 

"Sir what do we do about our captured base near the Slaughterhouse? A lot of our newest equipment was there!" 

"Sir we need to know which department is going to get the extra funding? The biological weapons department or the smart bomb missile department?" 

"Sir we need a decision about Sierra Gordo! Do we help with the takeover or just pay the current regime?" 

"Sir what do we do about the oil reserves? We're almost out!" 

"Sir Fidel Castro keeps calling! He says he wants repayment now or no more shipments!" 

"Sir we've run out of funds for the bribes and kickback department!" 

"Sir the hired muscle in one of our casinos is threatening to go on strike unless we give them a new dental plan!" 

"Sir we can't find Death Squad 12! We lost them somewhere in the Congo a week ago!" 

"Sir we're running low of ammo in the Antarctic!" 

"WHAT THE HELL DO WE NEED AMMO FOR IN THE ANTARCTIC?" Mystique screamed. "WHO'S GOING TO ATTACK US? KAMAKAZIE PENGUINS? COMMUNIST POLAR BEARS? OSAMA BIN LADEN'S TRAINED SEALS OF DEATH?" 

"But sir…" The poor official stammered. 

"GET OUT!" Mystique screamed. "ALL OF YOU!" The minions fled. Soon there was only Zartan and his family in the room. "AGGGGH!" She reverted to her original form. "This entire organization is filled with incompetent numbskulls! Can't anyone do anything right around here without me to fix it every twelve seconds?"

"Fix it?" Zandar snapped. "You're the one who caused it!"

"Yeah if you spent more time in the planning room rather than the bedroom Cobra wouldn't be in this mess!" Zanya snapped. 

"Watch it girl," Mystique snarled. 

"I bet Blob could run Cobra better than you!" Zanya snapped. "At least we'd know the food would improve." 

"That's enough daughter," Zartan said. "I know things are a bit rough now, but it's worth it if you are ever going to run Cobra someday."

"Says who?" Mystique snapped. Then there was a buzzer on the intercom. Mystique used her Cobra Commander voice. "What?"

"Uh sir, we had a slight collision on the landing field," A voice said. "A couple dozen of our Rattlers got into an accident and…"

"TAKE CARE OF IT YOURSELF!" Mystique screamed and turned off the intercom. 

"This is getting intolerable!" Zanya hissed. "If this keeps up there's not gonna **be** a Cobra for very much longer!" 

"You think you could do better?" Mystique snapped. "Beware girl, I will not have you undermining my leadership!" 

"**What** leadership?" Zanya snapped. "The only thing you've ever led before was a troop of super powered morons posing as the anti-boy scouts! And you couldn't even do **that **very well!"

"Compared to the morons you take charge of the Brotherhood were rocket scientists!" Mystique shouted. 

"Well at least my Dreadnoks **won **a battle every now and then," Zanya told her coldly. "Which is more than I can say for a loser like you." 

Mystique slapped her. "Get out!" Mystique hissed.

"With pleasure!" Zanya snapped determined not to give her the satisfaction of seeing how much her cheek hurt. 

"We'll go with you," Zandar said. He and Zarana closed ranks with her.

"Thanks Uncle," Zanya said. "It's nice to see that one male member of this family isn't thinking with his privates!" They went out in a huff. 

"You have got to do something about that girl!" Mystique snapped.

"**I **have to do something?" Zartan snapped. "She has a point you know! Your leadership of Cobra has been less than sterling." 

"ME?" Mystique snapped. "I'm not the only one here! This is a joint partnership or have you forgotten? Besides it was your job to prepare me for the role! And may I say you didn't exactly do a wonderful job as well! You left out a few details! About a few million of them!"

"How the hell was I supposed to know about all the things Cobra Commander takes care of personally?" Zartan snapped.

"You're a ninja spy!" Mystique shrieked. "It's your job to find out these things!" 

"Technically I'm a mercenary with ninja training," Zartan told her.

"Oh excuuuuuuusssseee me!" Mystique snapped. 

"Don't get huffy with me!" Zartan bristled. "If it wasn't for me, you'd still be rotting away in a prison cell!" 

"Well if it wasn't for me you'd still be a lackey waiting for his next meal ticket!" Mystique hissed. That was when the buzzer sounded. "Now what?" Mystique snapped.

Zartan looked at the monitor. "Here comes two more headaches," He grumbled. "Sabertooth and the firebrand."

"Wonderful," She grumbled. "Three guesses what they want! Let them in!" 

Sabertooth and Pyro came in. "We need to talk," Sabertooth snapped. 

"Not now," Mystique told him. "I have a terrorist organization to run."

"Yeah and a great job you're doing too," Pyro said sarcastically. "Face it Mystique, you're no Magneto. Have you found out where he is yet?" 

"I don't know where he is," Mystique told him. "But I am looking for him. Now go! Fix something! Burn something! Eat someone! I don't care! Just go!"

Sabertooth and Pyro left the room. "Are you looking for him?" Zartan asked.

Mystique looked under a chair. "Well he isn't here," She said in a sarcastic voice. "Nope not in this room. Well that's all I can do for today!" She sat down in a huff. "Tomorrow I'll look in the dining hall." 

"I can't believe I'm saying this but I am starting to appreciate Cobra Commander," Zartan growled. "I never knew how many things he did to run this organization. I always thought he sat back on his throne and let everyone else do the work." 

"Oh would you like him back?" Mystique asked with an edge in her voice. 

"No I'm just saying…." There was a buzzer. "Never mind. Who's that now?"

"Yes?" Mystique said in Cobra Commander's voice.

"Mystique it's me," Emma Frost said. 

"Have you found Destro yet?" Mystique asked.

"No," She said. 

"Have you recovered the Cytorak Gem yet?" She asked.

"No." 

"Well then what the hell are you calling me for? She snarled.

"I am here to give you some news about your latest attempt on the X-Men's life," She said in a bored voice.

"How did you know about that?" Mystique's voice rose. "Never mind. What?"

"It seems your pet Firefly didn't even get past security," She told her. "The X-Men caught him with ease and now they know that Cobra's after them again. I warned you to lay low."

"Oh shut up!" Mystique snapped.

"Excuse me?" Emma's voice grew icy.

"You heard me!" Mystique snapped. "I should have known that idiot would fail. I am surrounded by morons and lunatics!" 

"Listen sweetheart!" Emma started to shout, her voice getting very dangerous.

"Don't you sweetheart me you bi…" Mystique started to say before Zartan covered her mouth with his hand. 

"Uh maybe you should call back another time," Zartan said sweetly, trying to control the struggling Mystique. "She's feeling a little stressed. Not quite herself. You know what I mean. Perhaps the two of us can have a talk later?"

"Very well Zartan," Emma said. "I will call back when I have more news about Destro. Emma out." 

Mystique then elbowed Zartan in the stomach and broke away. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" She shouted.

"Listen," Zartan gasped. "If there's one thing I do know is that you don't make any potential allies angry. It isn't good for business. And you especially don't want to tick off a telepath!" 

"You are a spineless worm," She snapped. 

"You know you are really going to have to do something about these mood swings of yours," Zartan snapped. "I thought the Baroness had PMS bad but you…" 

"DIE!" Mystique launched herself at Zartan and tackled him. They started to fight when the buzzer sounded again. "Who is it this time?" She grumbled as she broke off her attack. "Oh I see," She grinned and used her Cobra Commander voice. "It's good to hear from you again. I'm glad you got my message."

"Yes Cobra Commander," A familiar voice on the other end spoke. "You needed me to do something for you?" 

"Yes General Bragg," Mystique grinned. "I believe it's time to renew our partnership. That mutant village in Maine. I want them."

"Consider them yours," Bragg grinned. 

"I'm sending some back up," Mystique told him. "Just to be safe. They may not be the most…polished individuals but they get the job done. Cobra Commander out." She switched off the intercom. "Zartan I have a job for the Dreadnoks." 

****

Next: Who are the Eloi? Why is Bragg working with Cobra? Stay tuned to find out!!! 


	59. Meet the Eloi

**Meet the Eloi **

The Misfits were on their way to the woods of Maine in a helicopter with several Joes. "So who are these Eloi?" Lance asked. He was wearing a red and black uniform and wore a simple gold diadem on his forehead. 

"A few years ago Lady Jaye and I were on a mission," Flint explained. "Along with Roadblock and some other Joes. We got separated from the group while fighting Cobra and were found by this group of mutants. They created a community of mutants hidden from the outside world. Long story short, Cobra tried to catch them, we stopped them and became friends with the Eloi. We've kept their existence secret." 

"This sounds interesting," Althea remarked. She was wearing a black and blue uniform. The other mutants were wearing their original uniforms except for Todd. He had on his new black pants, green top and black trench coat as well as a banana with gold markings on his forehead. 

"I think I ought to warn you," Lady Jaye said. "These mutants are …different." 

"Different?" Pietro asked. "How?"

"You have to see for yourselves," Roadblock told him. "That's all I'm gonna say." 

They landed in an open space near a mountain range. "We'll have to go the rest of the way on foot," Flint said. "Now remember, they're a little shy around strangers so don't be so eager to fight."

They made their way into the woods. They hadn't gotten very far when suddenly a tangle of vines blocked their way. Soon they were trapped in a circle, surrounded by trees, bushes and vines. 

"Well I'll be a monkey's uncle," A voice said. "If it isn't my old buddy Flint! How are ya you old hound dog you?" 

There stood a Native American man in a gray hunting outfit with a gray cowboy hat on his head. He had long white hair and one side of his face looked like it had been melted, like a candle. The eye on the melted side was huge like a vulture's and glassy. The other eye was brown and piercing. "Well if it isn't Flint and the other members of GI Joe! What the hell are you guys doing in this neck of the woods?"

"Hey Thorn," Flint waved. "We're here to investigate possible Cobra activity. You seen any snakes around?"

"Oh yeah," Thorn nodded. "Couple of days ago those slippery sissies were nosing around the south side perimeter. But a couple of my boys here spooked 'em off," He motioned to the trees and they bended to his will. "Nothing like a couple of angry pines to send a snake packing!" 

"Thorn here is the leader of their own militia group called the Outriders," Lady Jaye explained. "Their job is to protect the Eloi."

"Well somebody's gotta protect those hippie wannabes," Thorn grunted. He whistled. "Hey Outriders! Come on out! It's the Joes!" 

A whoop came up and six mutants appeared. Some looked human and others didn't. "Hey boss!" One mutant that looked exactly like a golden lab retriever in hunting clothes and a cigarette pointed to the kids. "Those kids are mutants!" 

"Real observant Hound Dog," A woman with brown hair and biker clothes snickered. 

"Shove it Lacey!" Hound Dog snapped.

"Hey man like be cool a'ight?" A tan man with a catlike face and ears wearing sunglasses spoke up. "No need for negative vibes." 

"These are my Outriders," Thorn explained. "Hound Dog's our tracker. Best nose in the entire state. His brother Hepcat, here's got a talent for catching food and setting traps."

"Brother?" Wanda asked. 

"Our Daddy-O was a nutball scientist," Hepcat explained. "Real into the whole 'Island of Dr. Moreau' concept, you know what I'm saying?" 

"Yeah half the mutants here are family thanks to that whack job," Hound Dog said. "It's a long story." 

"That's Lacey," Thorn introduced the brown haired biker. "Her husband Big Tom," He pointed to a bald biker with black sunglasses. "Over there's Mrs. S," There was a fiftyish heavyset woman with a rainbow colored beehive hairdo in hunting gear. "And that's Claw, called that for obvious reasons." Claw was a normal looking man with a brown beard and hunting clothes. He was normal except that his right hand was a huge claw. 

"This is our new mutant group we're training," Lady Jaye introduced. "The Misfits. This is Wavedancer, Avalanche, Toad, Blob, Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch and Xi." 

"Geese Louise they're just kids!" Hound Dog exclaimed. 

"You're all kids compared to me," Mrs. S told him. 

"Ah ya gotta start trainin' 'em when they're young," Thorn waved. "It's good for 'em! At least they won't be wimps like the Eloi."

"What are they like?" Pietro asked. 

"Follow me," Thorn waved. "You have to see it to believe it." 

They walked for about half an hour until they came to a clearing. There were dozens of mutants of all types wearing colorful clothes. There were several tree houses and tents as well as a huge cave near a waterfall. "Wow," Fred looked around. "Look at this place!" 

"It's a tye dye explosion," Pietro said. 

"These people never left the sixties," Thorn snapped. "They're into peace and love and all that crap." 

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Someone said. 

The man was thin and short, just under 5'3. He was covered with brown fur and had huge hands with sharp fingernails. He had thick black glasses on and was wearing brown baggy pants and a plaid jacket. He looked like a mutant version of Woody Allen. And he sounded just like him as well. "Well I know it's not as appealing as blowing somebody's face off but we like it." 

"Hello Mole," Lady Jaye smiled.

"Hello there," Mole waved.

"Mole?" Lance asked.

"I dig," Mole held up his hands. "That's my thing. I can dig through almost anything. Well not metal obviously. And lava that's still hot, not such a good idea. But pretty much any dirt and rock like substance I can go through. I can even dig through sand. Of course I don't really like to because it's all small and it gets in my fur and it takes forever to get it out. You would not believe how hard it is to get sand out of fir. Oy, you think you have problems with a day at the beach? Try having it with fur on. It's not a picnic. And those sand fleas. Don't get me started on them."

"I could always take care of them," Todd said. 

"Mole here is the leader of the Eloi," Lady Jaye explained. 

"I didn't know there were other mutant communities," Wanda said.

"Well we aren't exactly listed in the phone book for obvious reasons," Mole told her. "Most of us either retired from circus life or escaped from labs. I myself came from New York. I used to live with another mutant group…"

"You mean the Morlocks?" Pietro asked.

"You've heard of them?" Mole blinked. 

"Yeah, and you left?" Lance asked.

"Yeah well, to tell the truth I was anxious to get out of there," Mole shrugged. "Not that living in a sewer didn't have its perks but my ex-girlfriend was a bit…territorial. Let's just leave it at that. Okay she was nuts. That's kind of why I named this group the Eloi. You know the other group of futuristic people from the novel the 'Time Machine'? It was our favorite book. We used to read it together until she threw it at my head once too often and set it on fire." 

They headed deeper into the village. "Most of us either live in the Cavern or the trees," Mole pointed to a huge cave. Then he pointed to several tree houses above them. Rope bridges connected them. "I like the Cavern myself for obvious reasons. Dug most of the homes in there. Mine's a nice two-room cave. You wouldn't believe the deal I got on it. Very stylish. And it's near the underground spring so there's fresh water all the time." 

"Welcome strangers," A 19-year-old teenage girl with long green hair and dark skin walked up to them. She was wearing a long green skirt and a tan peasant blouse with several necklaces. "I am Willow. Welcome to our community."

"Hi there!" Todd waved. "Nice to meet ya!" 

"Fellow Eloi, let us greet our visitors with the song of welcome," She raised her hands.

"Oh god no," Thorn put his head into his hands. Immediately all the Eloi around began to sing.

_Fine day's forays! Our hearts soar-ays!_

_Welcome strangers! Come this way!_

_Fine day's forays! Our hearts soar-ays!_

Welcome to all we meet this day! 

Welcome, welcome, happy meeting!

Welcome, welcome, happy greeting! 

This is how we show we are glad to see 

The greeting of the Eloi we! 

Happy da-aays, celebrate!

Happy nights, celebrate! 

Our happiness is in your grasp

So long as we have hands to clasp! 

Welcome, welcome today! 

"Okay now that that's over with…" Thorn grumbled. 

_"Welcome, welcome…" _The Eloi kept singing. 

"SHUT IT!" Thorn shouted. "In case anyone's forgotten Cobra's back! And this time they brought help! Now we need to stop the singing and start the planning!"

"Spoilsport!" Someone shouted from the back. 

"Yes well I feel that in this case Brother Thorn does have a point," Mole said. "All right now! In about two hours we are going to have an emergency meeting so everyone go and get your speeches ready!"

"And I'll help get the food ready," Hound Dog nodded. "Hey sis!"

"Yeah?" Five animal like mutants responded at the exact same time. 

"Not you," He waved. "Ewe! Hey Ewe!"

"Yes," A woman with a sheep's features popped up. 

"How about making us some of your famous brownies?" Hound Dog said.

"How about not?" Thorn snapped. "We need our minds clear for this! Just get something okay Ewe!" 

"What me?" Hound Dog asked.

"Not you, Ewe!" Thorn shouted. "Lord I hate going through this all the time!"

"I'm not exactly thrilled with it either," Ewe said as she stormed off in a huff.

"Well don't look at me!" Hound Dog snapped. "Daddy chose that name!"

"Your father had a weird sense of humor," Thorn grumbled. 

"How many brothers and sisters do you have?" Pietro asked.

"Living here or total?" Hound Dog asked. 

"Total?" Wanda asked. "There's more?"

"Oh yeah. Daddy was a busy man," Hound Dog quipped. "There's twenty of us here but last count there were forty five of us all." 

"Forty Five!" Pietro gasped.

"Yup," Hound Dog nodded. "All animal based." 

"Well except for Herbert over there," Hepcat pointed to a man lounging around in a small pond nearby. "Only normal kid dad ever had until he decided to mutate him too. Gave him some gills along the side of his body so he can breathe underwater. Course he also fried his brain so he thinks he's a goldfish."

"Oh man I'm sorry," Fred said.

"Don't be," Hound Dog told him. "We're not. Actually it's an improvement over the way he used to be. Eh, he's happy, we're happy. No big deal." 

"So what do you all do?" Mole asked. "What are your powers?" 

"Well Wavedancer here can breathe underwater as well as manipulate water," Lance told him. "I can create earthquakes as well as do some earth shifting." 

"You are an earth mover," Willow's eyes brightened. "How wonderful! I am a plant shaper. I can make the plants grow and bend." She demonstrated on a nearby vine.

"Wow," Lance blinked. "That's pretty cool."

"Come," She took Lance's hand. "I must show you my latest flowers that I grew!" She took him to a bush filled with multi-colored flowers. 

"Oh brother," Thorn grumbled. "She's at it again!"

"What?" Roadblock asked.

"Willow's my daughter," Thorn sighed. "She has the same powers I do. Now don't get me wrong, I love her but…well she's a slut."

"Thorn!" Mole reprimanded. "We've had this little talk about labeling people's sexually! Just because she expresses herself freely…"

"She's expressed herself freely with any teenage twerp that's crossed her path ever since she was fifteen!" Thorn snapped. He softened. "Look, it ain't like she does it on purpose. She ain't mean. She really does fall in love with boys. Then she sees another one and falls in love with that one and so on. Just can't make up her mind." 

"Well by the looks of it she's changed it again," Mole pointed out as Lance and Willow were talking. 

"Well I just hope she doesn't make this kid a wreck like she did with her last boyfriend," Thorn grumbled. "Poor guy was so broken hearted, he sat in a tree for a week." 

"It was not a week," Mole said. "It was just a couple of days. He needed some time to center himself and get closer to nature." 

"Oh lord Avalanche is already a loon," Wanda groaned. "He just broke up with this ditz of a girl…"

"Say no more," Thorn sighed. "Oh well, nothing you can do but hope for the best. Now let's get going. You might wanna freshen up before the meeting starts."

"What do we need a meeting for?" Pietro asked. "To figure out if what plans we are going to use?"

"I wish!" Thorn grumbled. "The meeting is to figure out **if** we are going to decide if we are going to fight or not! Like I said, these people are nuts! I need a drink," He stalked off. 

"I told you they were different," Roadblock sighed as the remaining Misfits looked at him. 

"Is it just me or do these mutants seem a little…pathetic?" Pietro asked. 

"This from a mutant who hides in the closet whenever his sister is ticked off at him?" Todd quipped. 

"I do not!" Pietro snapped.

"That's true," Wanda said. "Once he hid in the garage." 

"WANDA!" Pietro snapped. 

"Pietro is a scaredy cat!" Todd snickered. 

"Cut that out!" Pietro snapped.

"Pietro is a scaredy cat!" Both Todd and Fred laughed. 

"That's it!" Pietro snapped. "You are both dead!" He chased after them.

"No violence!" Mole cried out. "No violence!"

"Good luck," Althea snickered.

"Oh this is gonna be a fun mission," Roadblock sighed. 

************************************************************************

Several miles away a figure watched the smoke from the Eloi's campsite through his field glasses. "I must thank the Joes for leading me right to their headquarters," Trask smiled. "Saves me a lot of trouble. Now all I have to do is wait for this backup Bragg is sending me and those mutants will be mine." He grinned as he looked at his small platoon of soldiers. 

"And if for some reason they fail," His assistant said. "We always have our ace in the hole." He pointed to a large crate that was being secured nearby.

"That we do lieutenant," Trask grinned. "That we do."

************************************************************************

Copperhead sulked as he left the general store. It was a small place that was the closest to the Cobra Command base. "Get this Copperhead. Get me a magazine Copperhead. Buy me some grape soda Copperhead. I didn't join Cobra to be some Dreadnok's personal shopper! Cobra Commander is really gonna get it! I swear one of these days I'm gonna…" 

He yelped as someone grabbed him and dragged him behind the shack. He was roughly thrown against the wall. "Hey! Who do you think you're…?" He stopped when he saw who it was. 

"D-Destro?" Copperhead yelped. "What are you doing here?"

"I believe we have something in common Copperhead," Destro held him by the shirt. "We are both being unfairly prosecuted by Cobra Commander."

"That we are," Copperhead relaxed a little. "Not to mention that jerk Zartan and those Dreadnoks. Just because Zartan replaced you doesn't give those morons the run of the…yikes!" He yelped when Destro grabbed his throat. 

"What do you mean 'replaced'?" Destro hissed.

"Z-Zartan's now Cobra Commander's right hand man," Copperhead gulped. "I thought you knew!" 

"No," Destro's eyes narrowed. "I did not. Something very wrong is happening in Cobra. And I believe it's time we found out exactly what!" 


	60. The Gathering of the Not So Faithful

**The Gathering of the Not So Faithful**

"Wonderful," Xamot muttered. "Here we are in some god forsaken bar…"

"In New Jersey nonetheless," Tomax muttered. Both were wearing identical blue turtlenecks and jeans in order to blend in with their surroundings better. 

"I am not exactly thrilled with this either," The Baroness snapped. She had on a simple red dress and an overcoat. "But the message from Mindbender said that we needed secrecy. And no one would suspect us meeting in a dump like this," She pointed to the drunks passed out at the bar.

Mindbender came in wearing a white coat with Copperhead. "About time you got here," Xamot told him.

"Yes what is this meeting all about?" Tomax asked.

"I was going to ask you the same question," Mindbender looked annoyed. "I didn't call this meeting. Copperhead said all of you called me."

"Well that's what I was told," Copperhead said.

"By whom?" Baroness hissed. "Definitely not me!"

"Us neither," The twins spoke as one. 

"Copperhead was this your idea?" Mindbender asked.

"No," Copperhead shook his head. 

"I don't believe this!" Mindbender snapped. "If you didn't then who did?"

"I did," Destro appeared before them. He was wearing a large trench coat and a fedora to cover his features. He sat down. "I apologize for the subterfuge but circumstances forced me into it. I'm afraid there is something seriously wrong in Cobra. And it's up to us to find out what." 

"What **isn't** wrong with Cobra?" Baroness smirked. "But seriously what is it Destro? Last I heard you turned traitor." 

"Please," Destro waved. "I am a full partner in Cobra. Why would I betray it? It's the other way around. I've been betrayed by Cobra Commander and his little Miss Frost." 

"For some reason that doesn't surprise me," Mindbender grumbled.

"Who is this Ms. Frost?" Baroness asked in an icy tone. 

"One of the Commander's new associates," Destro said. "She's also a telepath." 

"Yes she's developing a laser cannon to help Cobra conquer the world," Mindbender told her.

"No she isn't," Destro snapped. "The real goal of the machine is to increase sunspot radiation to such a frequency that it will provide an increase in mutant births!" 

"What?" They all gasped. 

"It also shortens the lives of normal humans," Destro told them. "Fortunately I removed a few key components of the device so it will not work without those specific pieces." 

"So what are you going to do?" Copperhead asked. "Ask for a ransom or something?" 

"Are you crazy?" Baroness snapped. "Why would he do that? Don't you realize that device would destroy humankind?"

"Well it ain't like we haven't done that before," Copperhead remarked. "Remember our little excursion in Cobra-La?"

"That was different," Mindbender told him. "Members of Cobra were excluded from those plans to be mutated into mindless beasts and allowed to rule the world. It sounds like this is a mutants-only party. And something tells me we are not invited." 

"Oh yeah," Copperhead sighed. "Is it just me or does Cobra Commander seem to be on a mutant kick lately?" 

"I know," Mindbender grumbled.

"That must be…" Xamot started.

"Difficult for you Mindbender," Tomax finished.

"Let's just say I haven't been sleeping at home lately," Mindbender groaned. 

"But why is Cobra Commander all of the sudden pro-mutant?" Destro asked. "It doesn't make sense. He despises humans as it is."

"Maybe that's why the Dreadnoks are all running around like they own the place?" Copperhead attempted a joke. 

"What? Those morons are helping run Cobra?" The Baroness gasped. "I don't believe it! Even the Commander isn't that stupid! They must be blackmailing him or something!" 

"No wonder Cobra is falling apart!" Destro growled. "I've intercepted some communications telling me what's been going on, or more importantly what's not going on! I can't believe it! He's never allowed Cobra to sink this low before. Even when we went bankrupt he always had a plan or two!" 

"Something is very wrong here," Mindbender frowned. "Especially since that Sabertooth arrived."

"Sabertooth?" The Baroness asked.

"Do you know him?" Mindbender asked.

"I know of him," She said. "He's one of Magneto's henchmen. Works with Mystique, the…shapeshifter…." Realization flickered in her eyes. 

Immediately the minds of the senior staff began to click. "Didn't you once tell me that you had found out Zartan had a brief relationship with this Mystique?" Destro asked.

"Yes," The Baroness' eyes narrowed. "I believe I did." 

"Perhaps this relationship…" Xamot started to say.

"Has become more of a business proposal?" Tomax finished. 

"What?" Copperhead looked around. "What's going on? What do mutants have to do with how weird Cobra Commander's been acting lately?"

"You idiot!" Mindbender snapped. "That's not the real Cobra Commander! Zartan and Mystique must have kidnapped him and are impersonating him! They're the ones running Cobra now!"

"This explains everything!" Destro snapped. "The haphazard plans. The alliance with Emma Frost and her plot to create more mutants!"

"Zartan wearing lingerie and handcuffs," Copperhead put in. They all looked at him. "I once walked in where I shouldn't have. Don't ask."

"It was perfect," Destro remarked. "They even split us up and made us run around in circles on pointless errands just so we wouldn't catch on!" 

"But then if that's Mystique…" Copperhead reasoned. "Where's the real Cobra Commander?"

"A very good question," Destro's eyes narrowed. "And I think I know where I can find the answer." 

************************************************************************

The following day Destro, the Baroness and the Twins were in a darkened room. "Do you really think this will work?" The Baroness asked.

"Please," Destro waved. "This is a Dreadnok we're talking about. It will be easy to get the information we want." 

Mindbender came in with two assistants dragging Torch. "Piece of cake," He told them. "Told you all I had to do was drug a jelly doughnut." 

"What did you tell the other Dreadnoks?" Baroness asked.

"Didn't have to," Mindbender told them. "They all went off on a mission just as I drugged Torch. My assistant told them he got drunk and needed to sleep it off. Surprise, they fell for it."

They sat Torch in a chair near a wooden table. He started to stir. "He's waking up," Mindbender said.

"Hey?" Torch looked around in a fuzzy daze. "What the bleeding hell is going on here? Destro? Why you…" He was held in place by the Twins. "Get your bloody hands off me you freaks!"

"Look who's talking," They both replied calmly. 

"Listen Torch," The Baroness spoke. "We know that Zartan and Mystique have replaced Cobra Commander. We want to know where he is and how long this has been going on. And we want the answers now!"

"I ain't telling you nothin'!" Torch snapped. 

"I wouldn't be…" Xamot started to say.

"Too sure of that if I were you," Tomax finished. 

"We have ways of making Dreadnoks talk," Destro told him. He opened his suitcase and made sure Torch had a good look at the thousands of dollar bills inside.

"All right," Torch blinked. "What do you want to know?" 


	61. Romance! Adventure! Commitees!

**Romance! Adventure! Committees! **

Lance wandered through the small village aimlessly taking in the sights. The kids had been allowed to look around before the big meeting. _Everything looks like it came straight out of the sixties, _He thought. _Lotta hippies around here. Nothing that interesting to see. _

"Hello Lance," Willow appeared. She was wearing a long skirt made of leaves that had a high slit on the side. Her top consisted of some strategically placed leaves and nothing else. 

_Okay maybe I spoke too soon, _Lance thought. 

"Hi Willow," Lance blinked. "Uh…nice dress." 

"Thank you," She smiled. "Would you like to take a walk with me?" 

"Uh okay," Lance followed her.

"I heard that you and some of the others were part of an organization called the Brotherhood," She said.

"Yeah that was before we realized what a total nutcase Magneto was," Lance sighed. "Nearly got us killed." 

"That's awful," She shook her head. "How did you end up with a madman like that?"

"It's a long story," Lance sighed.

"I'll understand if you don't want to tell me," Willow said.

"No, no I don't mind," Lance said. "The basic stuff is that well…I didn't have anywhere else to go. There's a lot more to it than that, but it's…well a very long story. And complicated. And there's stuff I did that I'm not exactly proud of."

"What about your family?" Willow asked. "Didn't they accept you?"

"I…don't have any real family," Lance told her. "My parents died when I was little and my life has been one foster home or orphanage after another. Until I ended up with the Brotherhood." 

"I'm sorry," Willow shook her head. "My mother died when I was very young. She was killed by a scientist."

"Now I'm sorry," Lance said. 

"Don't be," She shook her head. "My mother died saving the lives of myself and other children. I'm proud of her. Her spirit still lives on in these woods." 

They walked in silence for a while. "So what exactly do you guys do around here?" Lance asked.

"Commune with nature," She told him. "Try to get in touch with our inner selves. We also take care of each other. We all take turns doing chores but that's not all we do. We have festivals and dances. We do a lot of singing and playing." She pointed to a group of mutants playing a game that looked like hackeysack with several balls. "Want to join them?"

"Well…" Lance started to say before she grabbed him by the arm. "Why not?" They joined the game effortlessly. There didn't seem to be any rules other than keep the ball in play without using one's hands. Even though Lance kept dropping the balls the others didn't seem to mind. In fact, they seemed happy that he joined them. 

Lance couldn't help but laugh and enjoy himself. There was something about Willow that made him feel so at ease. After a while they left the game and before he knew it they started chasing each other in a demented game of tag. Willow then tackled Lance and they ended up rolling around laughing in the grass. 

"I can't believe this!" Lance laughed as he lay back in the grass. "I haven't played like this since I was a little kid!" 

"We believe play is just as important as work," Willow told him. "It provides balance and harmony." 

"Well you must be doing something right," Lance told her. "I never dreamed that there was a place for mutants like this." 

"You must think our little village is so limited what with all your travels," Willow sighed.

"Actually it's not so bad," Lance looked around. "It's really nice. One of the most peaceful places I've ever been. I wish I knew about this place when I was growing up. Would have probably saved me a lot of trouble." 

"Was it really that hard growing up?" She asked. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry. I just…"

"No, no it's okay," Lance told her. "It's just…there's a lot of stuff I went through that's…not really pleasant to talk about. People always thought I was a hood or something to be used. I never really had anyone who cared about me until I met the guys I live with now."

"No special girl?" She asked.

"There was one," Lance sighed. "I thought she was different. But…Well, let's just say things kept going wrong all the time. I messed it up."

"I find that hard to believe," She took his face in her hands. "You seem so gentle underneath your tough exterior."

Lance blushed. "Well…I…um…" 

Willow kissed him. Lance blushed again as he pulled away. She giggled. "You are sweet. And so innocent." 

"I'm not innocent!" Lance protested. "N-not in that way!"

"In what way?" She asked.

"Well, whatever way you think I am," Lance gulped as she leaned closer to him. "I mean I…I…I've been…"

"So you have made love before," She grinned.

"Well, I've had sex yeah," Lance gulped. "Technically."

"Technically?" She asked. "You mean you didn't give yourself to someone, but simply…?"

"Well it wasn't exactly my idea in the first place if you get my drift," Lance admitted. 

"Oh," She said. "Wait, but you never gave permission right? So you really didn't give of yourself. So technically in the Eloi sense, you still are an innocent." 

"The Eloi sense?" Lance blinked. 

"Here sex is not simply sex," She said. "It is freely giving of oneself. A shared experience. There is no possessiveness, but a freedom. We Eloi do not have sex, we make love."

"Really?" Lance gulped. "Is it warm around here or is it just me?" 

"Come with me," Willow stood up and helped him up. She led him by the hand. 

"Okay," Lance said allowing her to pull him away to a secluded spot. 

"Isn't it a warm day?" She laughed. "Don't you just feel like being free?"

"Yes, yes I do. Freedom is nice. Heck freedom is great! Um," Lance blinked. "Willow, where are we going?" 

"Somewhere where you can show me what you look like without your uniform," She smiled.

Lance blinked again. "Okay…" And followed her into a nearby grotto. 

************************************************************************

"The Committee of Worried Mutants Against Oppression will now take the floor," Mole called out. He was at the head of a large circle filled with mutants and Joes. 

A tall woman stood up. "Brother Mole, fellow Eloi and honored guests. I am the first to admit that we are not adequately prepared for an invasion of the type that GI Joe has described. However, is it wise to act so aggressively against these humans? Can't we just send a delegation over and ask them to leave nicely?"

"I'll send them a delegation all right!" Mrs. S stood up. "A delegation of five!" She held up her hand and made a fist. "One, two, three, four five!" 

A cheer went up from the Outriders. "That's tellin' her baby!" Hound Dog howled. 

"Excuse me," A female bird like mutant stood up. "As the Chairwoman of the Committee of Female Independence Against Sexual Stereotypes I would like Brother Hound Dog to apologize for that remark! It's degrading to women!"

"Oh for crying out loud!" A man stood up. "I'm a member of the Males Against Violence and Bad Things Towards Women Committee and even I know he didn't say it in a degrading manner. Any idiot knows Hound Dog didn't mean anything by it! Did you Hound Dog?"

"No and Mrs. S don't mind do ya?" Hound Dog asked.

"Seeing as I'm twice the age of most of you I'm thrilled just to be alive!" Mrs. S said. "And as Chairwoman of the Committee to End Age Discrimination I'm for it!" 

"Um, I hate to interrupt this fascinating debate but I think we're getting a little off the track here," Mole said. "You all have very valid points but right now we need to decide what we are going to do about this Trask person. Now you've all heard the Joe's report. This guy doesn't seem to be the type to sit down and listen to a debate."

"How do you know that?" A woman stood up. "As a member of the Let's Give Peace a Chance Committee how do you know he wouldn't listen to reason. Maybe if we show him we're peaceful…"

"Oh yeah that will work," Thorn groaned. "Face it sister, this guy would love nothing more than to see all of us blown to pieces!" 

"Well maybe not," Another mutant stood up. "Mrs. S you're a telepath, can't you just change his mind for him?"

"As Chairwoman of the Committee of Telepaths Against Mental Cruelty I am going to forget you said that!" Mrs. S shouted. "It's barbaric to do that!"

"Oh but it's not barbaric of them to attack us?" Another mutant stood up. "I'm with the Committee of Non-Violent Mutants Against Violence! I say we change their memories around and let 'em around. This way no body gets hurt! So we change a few memories around so they'll be nice people? What's the harm?"

"Sounds like this guy and Xavier would get along like peas in a pod," Wanda grumbled. She and most of the Misfits were sitting next to the Outriders. 

"Excuse me did everyone forget what committee I'm on?" Mrs. S stood up. "Also as a member of the Committee Against Mutant Stereotypes I am against this!" 

"How many committees are there here?" Pietro asked.

"God only knows," Thorn grumbled. "And everyone here belongs to at least two or three of them."

An argument broke out. "All I am saying is that having armed soldiers in camp defeats the very purpose of this village," A mutant spoke.

"There won't be a village if Trask invades with Cobra you daft boy!" Mrs. S snapped. "We need all the help we can get."

"I'm not so sure we can't take care of this ourselves," Another mutant stood up. "I mean no offense but you guys have already eaten half of our stores!"

"Sorry about that," Fred apologized. 

"The Cleanup Committee is not exactly thrilled about this either," Another mutant snapped. "But at least we can recognize the need for flexibility in case of emergencies!"

"Are you judging me?" The one mutant snapped. "Are you saying I'm not tolerant of other people?" 

"In a word, pretty much," The other mutant said.

"Okay I'm gonna clean your clock!" He shouted. Several mutants restrained them.

"People! People!" Mole called out. "Let's all get centered now! Let's go find our calm place!" 

"How about you go jump in the lake?" Another mutant snapped. Then the arguing began again. 

"We have to fight!"

"No we don't! Maybe we could just send a cake?"

"As long as it has a bomb in it, that's fine with me!"

"If you don't calm down and be peaceful I'm gonna knock the living daylights out of you!"

"Make me!"

"People please calm yourself this isn't getting us anywhere!" Mole shouted.

"How could it?" One woman stood up. "I've said years ago that we should change the rules of the meetings! This whole procedure is biased against harmony and order." 

"Not to mention biased against us goldfish!" Someone shouted from the back. 

"Shut up Herbert!" Hound Dog snapped. 

"Make me!" Herbert shouted. "I'll teach you a lesson!"

"Oh what are you gonna do?" Hound Dog snickered. "Spit water at me?" 

"I can't take much more of this!" Althea groaned. "No wonder I've never heard of the Eloi before!"

"I got an idea," Fred said. Then he bellowed. "SHUT UP!" 

Everyone stopped arguing. "Well that was rude," One mutant said.

"Sorry," Fred apologized. "But you all aren't supposed to be fighting each other."  
"He's right," One mutant said. "I apologize."

"I'm sorry too." Suddenly the whole group was apologizing to each other.

"Boy Lance is lucky he's missing this," Pietro groaned. "Why didn't he show up?"

"Maybe because he's smart," Hepcat sighed. 

"Hey there he is!" Wanda pointed. There was Lance strolling in. He was holding hands with Willow and had a huge smile on his face.

"Where the heck have you been?" Todd asked. "You missed everything!"

"Wanna bet?" Thorn grumbled. 

"Guys I love it here!" Lance sighed happily. 

"Big surprise," Thorn grumbled. "Let me guess, she showed you the grotto? Am I right?" 

"How'd you know?" Lance blinked.

"It's a popular tourist attraction," Thorn grumbled. "Well Willow, I see you didn't waste any time today." 

"Speaking of wasting time," Althea grumbled. She stood up. "ALL OF YOU KNOCK IT OFF! Look I know I'm an outsider here and it isn't any of my business how you run your village, but we really need to work together. These people care only about destroying mutant lives, plain and simple. I mean do you really think Trask and his flunkies are that disorganized? Do you?" 

************************************************************************

At the exact same time Trask was awaiting the right moment to strike when an aide appeared. "Sir! Several gentlemen to see you! They say they're reinforcements!"

"Excellent, let's go see them!" He walked over and stopped. His jaw dropped when he saw the Dreadnoks. 

"YOU?" Trask shouted. "What are you maniacs doing here?" 

"Hey Traskie!" Monkeywrench waved from his Harley. "We're your backup."

"What?" Trask gasped.

"Bragg sent us along to help you," Buzzer told him. 

"There is no way in hell that I am working with you idiots!" Trask snarled. "You nearly got my Sentinels stolen and sold them to Cobra!"

"Well who do you think has been helping you out lately?" Buzzer snapped. 

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN COBRA IS HELPING FUND MY PROJECT?" Trask shouted.

"You mean you didn't know?" Buzzer asked. "Fancy that!" 

"Bragg made a deal with Cobra Commander," Ripper said. "You scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours."

"NO!" Trask snapped. "I may be a lot of things but I would never sell out my country! I will never work with terrorist scum like you!"

"Who are you calling terrorist scum?" Monkeywrench snapped.

"Now if that ain't the pot calling the kettle black I don't know what is!" Buzzer snapped.

"Unlike you I am more particular of who I work for!" Trask shouted. "I don't work for genetic trash like your boss and his worthless family!"

"What did you say?" Road Pig asked in a dangerous voice.

"Uh oh…" Ripper said.

"I'd apologize if I were you," Buzzer said to Trask. 

"There is no way in hell I would apologize to some leather clad weirdo about some freaks!" Trask snapped. 

"WHAT?" Road Pig shouted.

"Easy boy!" Monkeywrench said. "Look Trask, we don't like you neither but we are working together like it or not! Our orders were to help you out in exchange for a couple of mutants and the Sentinel so…"

"I don't think so," Trask snapped his fingers. Immediately all his men readied their weapons. "Deal's off."

"Oh really?" Monkeywrench snapped his fingers. Immediately dozens of Cobra Troops appeared out of nowhere bearing arms. "You wanna read the fine print first?" 

"There's no way I'd let my precious Sentinel fall into the hands of the likes of you!" Trask shouted. "Street trash!"

"THAT'S ALL I CAN STAND!" Road Pig bellowed. "AND I CAN'T STANDS NO MORE!" 

"Now you've done it," Buzzer sighed just before Road Pig attacked. "Oh what the hell! Let's trash these twits and just take what we want anyway! COBRAAAAAA!" 

************************************************************************

The explosion could be heard for miles. "WHAT WAS THAT?" Mole shouted. 

"It came from the mountain!" Flint pointed out. "Come on, let's go!" 

"YO JOE!" The Joes shouted. 

"We really need a catchphrase," Pietro grumbled. 

They didn't have to go very far to see what was happening. Pietro ran up and back to report. "You're not gonna believe this!" He told them. "Trask is fighting with the Dreadnoks and Cobra soldiers!" 

"I don't believe what I see!" Roadblock gasped. "Infighting among the enemy!" 

"Cobra must be trying to horn in on Trask's party," Flint said.

"Well since they've already crashed it, let's invite ourselves!" Lance said. He sent out a tremor towards them.

"What was that?" Trask yelled.

"I think I know," Monkeywrench gulped. He looked at the attacking army. "I was right! It's GI Joe!" 

"And their little mutant brigade!" Buzzer shouted. "Okay! EVERYBODY GET THE JOES! FORGET TRASK!"

Trask saw his opportunity. "Pull back! Get the Sentinel out of here!" They made their escape while the Joes and the Misfits attacked the Cobras. The Outriders helped as well. Thorn used the plants to attack and send several Cobras into the trees. Lance sent off more earthquakes as well as Fred trashing the Cobra vehicles. 

One Cobra managed to lob something that fell at Althea's feet just as she was knocking out a Cobra soldier. "Gas grenade!" Althea gasped just before she fell. Pietro grabbed her and ran off but the gas soon effected him as well. He collapsed on the ground unconscious, unaware that others saw the two of them. Pairs of feet surrounded the two.

Back on the battlefield the fight ended pretty quickly. "Well," Hound Dog quipped at several soldiers tangled in vines. "Looks like we got this party tied up." 

"Something's not right," Flint said. "That was too easy." 

"I agree," Roadblock nodded. "But what's wrong I don't see." 

"Quicksilver and Wavedancer are gone!" Todd shouted. 

"Trask?" Flint asked.

"No," Mrs. S placed her hands to her temple. "I don't sense their thoughts nearby. They're much further away but I can tell that none of Trask's men were able to capture them." 

"But if Trask didn't get them, who did?" Lance asked.

"Fan out and look for them!" Flint ordered. Several hours later they all returned to camp. "Nothing?"

"No trace of them!" Todd said, he was nearly hysterical. "They're nowhere! We gotta find them Flint! We just gotta!"

"Take it easy Toad they have to be around here someplace," Flint told him.

"Maybe not," Hound Dog walked up with a bandana. "I smelled the kids and the toxic remains of a helicopter a few miles back. It took off a few hours ago by the smell of it. I found this too, it's covered with jelly doughnut stains."

"Oh no…" Roadblock gasped. 

************************************************************************

"Quicksilver! Quickie wake up!"

Pietro opened his eyes and saw Althea sitting over him. "You look awful," He remarked.

"Yeah well we could both end up feeling a lot worse," She pointed out. They were both in a cell deep underground somewhere. "I think we're the only ones who got caught. I don't see the others anywhere." 

"Oh great," Pietro grumbled. "Now where are we? I'll bet Trask is behind this!"

"Who the hell is Trask?" A figure called out from the cell across from theirs. He wore a blue uniform with a tattered cowl. "What the hell is Zartan doing with Cobra? Somebody give me some answers now!" 

**Next: An exciting chapter! Will Althea and Pietro escape? What's Cobra Commander been up to? What will happen next? Stay tuned for excitement, betrayal, and surprising plot developments! **


	62. Escape From the Dreadnok Lair

**Escape From the Dreadnok Lair**

Pietro stared at the figure in the nearby cell. "Who the heck is this guy?"

"That's Cobra Commander," Althea told him. "The head snake himself. But what's he doing here? Wherever this is."

"We're in the Dreadnoks' Lair you stupid girl," Cobra Commander snapped. 

"I'm stupid? Then how did you end up here Snake Face?" Althea snapped. 

"It's that traitor Zartan's fault!" He hissed. "He and this…woman kidnapped me! Kept me down here for I don't know how long! Do you know how boring it is having nothing but jelly doughnuts for breakfast every day? If I never see another jelly doughnut or drink grape soda again…"

"Wait a minute," Althea interrupted him. "You mean all this time someone else has been leading Cobra?"

"Ye-es!" Cobra Commander said sarcastically. 

Just then Ripper and Monkeywrench appeared. "Well, well, well," Ripper snickered. "Nice to see you all getting acquainted." 

"Yeah Mermaid," Monkeywrench smiled. "I can't wait to see the look on Zanya's face when she finds out we've captured you! I'm sure the two of you have a lot to talk about!"

"I'll bet," Althea hissed. "So why are we here?" 

"Yeah why are they here? Why did Mystique want to capture them anyway?" Ripper asked.

"Mystique?" Pietro yelped. "What does she have to do with it?"

"She's running Cobra with…YEOW!" Ripper howled in agony as the other Dreadnok hit him. 

"Don't tell them our secrets you twit!" Monkeywrench snarled. 

"So Mystique and Zartan are running Cobra now?" Althea raised an eyebrow. "And the Dreadnoks are in charge. So that's why Cobra's been having so much trouble."

"What?" Cobra Commander snapped.

"Yeah, it seems that Cobra's been having trouble keeping together," Althea told him. "Heard about it from some of the Joes."

"What are you fools doing with my organization?" Cobra Commander snapped. "With you idiots in charge, I'm surprised there is a Cobra left!" 

"Yeah you really botched up that attempted takeover of Trask's army!" Pietro taunted.

"We were supposed to be giving them back up!" Monkeywrench snapped. "But Trask then threw a hissy fit about working with Cobras! I mean we were only there because Bragg said he needed help!" 

Then Ripper hit him. "Now who's the twit blabbing all the secrets?" 

"Nice going you moron," Cobra Commander snapped. "Why don't you tell them about our secret alliance with Bragg while you're at it? Oops." 

"Well it don't matter anyway," Monkeywrench said. "Cause you ain't going nowhere!" 

"Oh really?" Althea glared at him through the cell door. 

"Yeah!" He grinned as he got close to the cell door.

"Wanna bet?" Althea snarled. Suddenly the cell door opened with a bang, trapping Monkeywrench on the other side. Before Ripper could react Pietro sped out and knocked him down.

"HOW DID YOU DO THAT?" Cobra Commander gasped.

"I always carry a little lock pick in case of emergencies," Althea held a small device up. "It comes in very handy and it's small enough to hide it anywhere. It's a device no ninja should be without." 

"You guys should really learn to disarm your prisoners better," Pietro snickered. 

"Come on," Althea said. "Let's go!" 

"What about him?" Pietro pointed. 

"He stays here!" Althea snapped. 

"What?" Cobra Commander snapped.

"We can't take him to the Joes, too risky!" Althea told Pietro. "We'll have to lock him up in the stockade another day." That's when the alarm went off.

"It's gotta be the other Dreadnoks!" Pietro said.

"As much as I'd love to clean Zanya's clock we have to get back to the others," Althea said. "Tell them what's going on!" 

"Get on my back!" Pietro motioned. "It's gonna be a wild ride!" 

Althea jumped on. "Sheesh! How much do you weigh anyway?" Pietro groaned.

"Watch it Speed Boy!" Althea snapped. "Get us out of here and back to Maine! Now!" 

Pietro sped off like a rocket. "WAIT FOR ME!" Cobra Commander hissed. "YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HERE! TAKE ME WITH YOU! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS! YOU'LL PAY FOR NOT TAKING ME TO GI JOE!"

Then he stopped. "Oh wait, maybe that's not such a good idea." 

"Ow…" Monkeywrench slid out from behind the door. "That hurt."

"They got away!" Ripper came to. 

"Yeah but we still got him!" Monkeywrench said. He saw Torch running up. "Torch! Where have you been? Bad news! The mutants have escaped! Zanya ain't gonna like this!"

"Well then she's really going to be unhappy about this," Destro, the Baroness and the Twins appeared with their weapons drawn. 

"Destro!" Cobra Commander shouted. "It's about time you found me!" 

"Sorry about this guys," Torch shrugged as he released Cobra Commander from his cell.

"What kept you buffoons?" Cobra Commander snapped.

"You're welcome," The Baroness said sarcastically. 

"I think it's time…" Xamot started.

"We depart this place," Tomax finished. 

"I don't think so," Zanya appeared with Zarana, Zandar, Road Pig, and Buzzer with their weapons drawn. 

"HA!" Monkeywrench grabbed his weapon and pointed it at the rescue party.

"Serves you right you traitor!" Ripper snarled as he pointed his weapon at Torch.

"Torch…" Zanya said in a strange voice. "Explain yourself."

There was only one thing Torch could do. He got down on his knees and begged. 

"They threw gobs of money at me Zanya!" Torch wept. "I'm not made of stone! Mercy! Please don't kill me!" 

"Who says I want to kill you Torch?" Zanya said sweetly. "Boys put down your weapons. Cobra Commander I must apologize for my father's rudeness. He's been under a lot of strain lately." 

"What?" Ripper asked. "Zanya have you lost your mind?"

"Yeah Mystique ain't gonna be happy about this!" Monkeywrench told her.

"Do you really think I care what that cow thinks of me?" Zanya snapped. "Do as I say!"

"But what about your father?" Ripper asked. 

"Well, I think my father needs to have some time off," Zanya said with a smile.

"That's right," Zandar grinned. "He needs to think about the error of his ways. If that's all right with Cobra Commander here."

"All right," Cobra Commander sighed. "How much do you want to let us go?"

"The usual fee that you give to my father," Zanya said. "Plus a few other…conditions."

"Listen you stuck up little brat," The Baroness hissed. "If you think for one minute we are gonna forget what…"

"Now, now my dear Baroness," Cobra Commander stopped her. "We must not blame this sweet child for the mistakes her elders have made. I'm sure we can come to an agreement of some sort?"

"I believe we shall Cobra Commander," Zanya grinned. "I believe we shall." 

****


	63. Trask Tries Again

**Trask Tries Again**

It had been over 12 hours since the battle. The Joes knew that Trask would attack again. Still it didn't help that two of their own were missing. 

"I'm really worried about them," Lance said to Willow. He looked over at Todd, Xi and Wanda. "Those three are taking it the worst." 

"Can't they track them down with the homing devices they wear?" Willow asked.

"No," Lance sighed. "Somehow Cobra's blocking it!" He hit his fist in his palm.

Willow took his hand. "You have to have hope," She told him. "Come with me." 

She took him to a small alcove. There were several candles. "Here," She gave him a match. "We call these hope candles. Light one and make a wish. Pray for the best. It will help. If it comes true the light will go out on it's own." 

"Okay," Lance shrugged. He did so. Immediately the candle went out. "Is that good?"

"I don't know," she blinked. "It's never happened before." 

Suddenly an alarm sounded. "We're under attack!" Willow cried.

"You stay here!" Lance told her. "We'll take care of this!" 

"No," Willow shook her head. "I may not be an Outrider like my father, but I have powers like his! This is my home and I must do what I can to defend it! Come on!" They raced outside.

"Oh great!" Lance groaned as he saw the huge Sentinel wander towards the village. "Just what we need!" 

"Willow!" Thorn cried out. "Help me girl! Maybe we can slow it down!" 

"Right!" Immediately both of them used their powers to entangle the Sentinel with vines and plants. 

Just as they did so dozens of soldiers ran out shooting at them. The Eloi scattered in fear. 

"Run everyone!" Mole shouted. He quickly dug a hole in the ground and several young Eloi followed him. One soldier stuck his weapon down the barrel. However he didn't see Mole pop up in a hole behind him. "Excuse me please," He tapped him on the shoulder before punching him. "Ow! That hurts!" He waved his massive hand. Then he ducked back into the hole as more soldiers fired on him. 

"Get those mutants!" Trask shouted as he fired.

"Misfits!" Flint ordered. "Take care of the Sentinel! We'll protect the Eloi!" 

"We can help ourselves as well you know!" Hound Dog snapped. "Okay! Let 'em have it!"

Immediately several soldiers were bombarded with fruit. They chased the Eloi into the trees where some strange fluid was poured on them. "What the hell is this stuff?" One shouted. "I'm stuck!"

"Yeah it's our homemade glue," Hepcat smiled. "It's like all natural and it really sticks like the devil!" 

Meanwhile the Misfits were trying to trash the Sentinel. "Our vines can't hold them much longer!" Thorn shouted.

"Then how about a hexbolt special!" Wanda screamed as she turned her powers on the Sentinel. It shuttered wildly. 

"Keep pouring it on Scarlet Witch!" Todd shouted as he fought off some soldiers.

Meanwhile Flint had cornered Trask and the two of them were fighting. "Give it up Trask!" Flint shouted. "You can't win!" 

"Why are you doing this?" Trask shouted. "I'm trying to save the human race!"

"So am I," Flint snapped. "In case you haven't noticed, mutants are human too!" 

"Yeah, right," Trask snapped. "But unlike Bragg I am not a traitor to either my country nor my species!" 

"What?" Flint asked before Trask punched him in the stomach. 

"I don't care much for shooting a fellow human," Trask told him as he grabbed his pistol. "No matter how misguided they are. However…" 

Just then Wanda's powers finally caused the Sentinel to explode. "Oh no!" Trask snapped. "Not another one! We'll have to finish this another time!" He took off into the woods. Flint tried to chase after him only to have his route cut off by Trask's troops. 

Fortunately Xi, Todd and Fred took care of them rather quickly. Several tried to retreat but Lance tripped them up with an earth tremor. "Got 'em!" Lance shouted.

"We got this party all wrapped up," Thorn smiled. "Mrs. S…"

"I know," She sighed. "I hate to do this, but I have to erase the coordinates of this village from their minds. But that's all I am going to do!"

"It's for the best," Lady Jaye told her. "Where's Trask?" 

"He got away, but we got his men," Roadblock sighed. "But something tells me it will be a long time before he tries to attack this village again!" 

"Especially now that he's out of troops and minus one overgrown tin can," Lance said.

"Wait a minute!" Wanda cocked her head. "I hear something!"

"YEEEEEHHHHAAA!" Pietro skidded to a stop. "Last call! Eloi village! Wow what a mess!" 

"Aw man," Althea got down from Pietro's back. "We missed the party!" 

"ALTHEA!" Todd hopped over and grabbed her into his crushing embrace. "You're okay!" 

"Hey!" Fred called out. "They're back!" Soon the two missing Misfits were surrounded with their friends and family. 

"Sorry we took so long," Althea said. "We were trapped in the Dreadnoks' lair and we got lost on the interstate in Florida. Maybe if someone had stopped for directions first…"

"We were not lost!" Pietro fumed. "I just was a little unfamiliar with the territory. That's all!" 

"Wait a minute," Flint blinked. "You were captured by the Dreadnoks yesterday and you just escaped now?"

"Actually it was about an hour or so ago," Pietro admitted.

"I told you we got lost," Althea said.

"We did not!" Pietro snapped.

"But the Dreadnoks are all the way in Florida! You can't be that fast Quicksilver! Are you?" Beach Head asked.

"Hello? Super speed!" Pietro zipped up to him and lightly knocked on his forehead. He moved away before Beach Head knew what had happened. 

"I was so worried babe! You could have gotten hurt!" Todd cried out. 

"Hey come on guys," Althea said. "Everybody knows that Dreadnoks are dumber than dirt!" 

"Yeah and boy did they spill the beans on some stuff!" Pietro said. "You won't believe what we found out!" 


	64. Let's Make a Deal

**Let's Make a Deal**

Back at Cobra Headquarters Sabertooth paced around. He was not happy. "I can't take much more of this," He snarled at Pyro. "Maybe if I threaten to break her neck she'll tell us what she knows about Magneto."

"I might suggest another way," A voice spoke.

"Mystique?" Pyro looked at the form of Cobra Commander.

"That ain't her," Sabertooth growled. 

"Correct," Cobra Commander entered with Destro. "My name is Cobra Commander." He raised his hand to shake with Sabertooth. He didn't take it. "Well I'm sure you have heard of me?"

"Oh yeah!" Sabertooth growled.

"Now before you do anything rash," Cobra Commander held his hands up. "I just want to talk to you. I want to make a little deal with you. A deal that would be advantageous to both of us."

"Easy Sabertooth," Pyro stepped in front of him. "What sort of deal?" 

"Just how attached are you to Mystique?" Cobra Commander asked. Sabertooth growled. "I thought as much. Have you ever heard of a woman named Emma Frost?"

"Yeah," Pyro folded his arms. "She's working with Mystique on some project."

"She's also the one who's got Magneto imprisoned," Cobra Commander told him.

"WHAT?" They both shouted. 

"I made an interesting discovery amongst Ms. Frost's notes," Destro held up a piece of paper. "It's the coordinates of where she imprisoned Magneto." 

"Give me…" Sabertooth started to lunge.

"Wait a minute!" Cobra Commander said. "Now let's think about this. I need to regain control of Cobra. You need your leader back. Right?"

"Yeah," Sabertooth narrowed his eyes. "Go on."

"But since Mystique is keeping you on a leash here in order to protect her I might have a bit of trouble reclaiming my position," Cobra Commander said. "You do realize she never intended to tell you about this?"

"I think we've pretty much figured that out," Pyro nodded. 

"Now if you were off rescuing Magneto instead of hanging around here…" Cobra Commander said. 

"I got ya," He took the paper. "Okay, you got a deal." 

"Excellent," Cobra Commander nodded. "I'll give you guys and your associates say 24 hour head start before I move things along. I suggest though you move as quickly as possible before that telepath finds out somehow."

"Yeah, come on Pyro, we've got some friends to talk to," Sabertooth left with him. 

"Well that's one obstacle out of the way," Destro said. "Are you sure we can trust Zanya?"

"As much as I trust a crocodile," Cobra Commander snapped. "But I think she will come to our aid. Soon, Cobra will be mine again!" 


	65. Parties and Partings

**Parties and Partings**

That night there was a huge feast at the Eloi village. "EVERYBODY MAMBO!" Fred shouted out as he led a conga line of mutants. 

Todd and Althea laughed as they danced together. Many Joes and Eloi were dancing as well. Lady Jaye and Flint were dancing together. Mrs. S was dancing with Hound Dog. Wanda danced with Roadblock. Some were dancing on tables like Mole. 

"GO MOLE GO!" People shouted.

"Party! Party! Party!" Mole chanted as he danced.

"This is wild!" Xi laughed as he danced with several mutants. 

"I tell you these people know how to party!" Pietro laughed as he danced with a few female mutants his age. 

"Lance looks like he's having a good time," Todd pointed out the couple. 

"Oh there they go again," Pietro groaned as Lance and Willow ran off to be alone. "Let's follow them!" 

Pietro, Xi, Todd and Althea slunk off to see what was going on. They hid behind some bushes and tried not to giggle as they watched Lance and Willow kiss each other.

"Having fun?" Thorn snuck up behind them. "Well there she goes again."

"I just hope Lance doesn't get any ideas about leaving us," Althea said.

"I wouldn't worry about that if I were you," Thorn told her. 

Unaware they were being observed, Lance broke off the kiss. "Willow I haven't been this happy in I don't know how long," He said. "I've never met a girl like you. You helped me believe in love again." 

"Here we go," Thorn grumbled. 

"Maybe I should stay," Lance said as he held her hand. "We could be so happy together." 

"You can't stay," Thorn muttered to the others. "The outside world needs you."

"You can't stay," Willow told Lance. "The outside world needs you."

"I know this will be hard," Thorn said sarcastically. "I want you to stay too. But your place is out there. Mine is here."

"I know this will be hard," Willow said. "I want you to stay too. But your place is out there. Mine is here." 

"You must face your destiny and help others of our kind," Thorn mimicked.

"You must face your destiny and help others of our kind," Willow touched Lance's face. "And you cannot abandon your family. They need you too."

"That's a new one," Thorn grumbled.

"Commitment problems?" Pietro asked.

"Oh yeah," Thorn sighed. "Well at least she's letting this one down easy." 

"I'm not gonna tell him," Pietro sighed. "Come on, let's leave the lovebirds alone." They moved away.

"Will I ever see you again?" Lance asked.

"Perhaps," She smiled. "Only fate knows what's in store for us." They kissed again. 

"I'll miss you," Lance said. "I'd write to you but I don't think the mail goes through here." 

"Hey, even we have e-mail," She grinned. "Wanna take one last swim in the grotto?"

"Okay!" Lance said happily as she led him away.

A few hours later the party was winding down. "Come on guys it's time to go!" Roadblock called out. "Gotta get back to GI Joe!" 

"Where's Lance?" Wanda looked around.

"Here I am!" He appeared holding hands with Willow.

"Why is your hair wet?" Xi asked.

"Uh…We took a little swim," Lance told him. "Gee is that the time? Gotta go!" 

Soon the Joes and the Misfits said their good-byes and found themselves on the chopper home. "That was a lot of fun!" Wanda said.

"Well I could have done without being kidnapped but for the most part that was a blast," Althea said. "I know Lance had a good time."

"Willow…" Lance sighed as he looked out the window. A dreamy look was in his eyes.

"Well at least this has cured you of your Kitty Complex," Pietro said to Lance.

"Willow," Lance sighed. "Willow…." 

"Oh god," Todd groaned. "Here we go again!" 

"He just gets over one when he falls for another!" Fred groaned. 

"It's gonna be a looooonnng ride!" Roadblock moaned. 


	66. More Interesting Developments

**More Interesting Developments**

"I don't believe this!" Hawk pounded his fist on the desk. "I can't believe that not only has Mystique escaped, she's running Cobra!" He turned to the Misfits and the returning Joes. 

"Maybe not for long," Pietro said. "I saw the Baroness and a few other people running into the Dreadnoks' lair when Althea and I were getting out."

"But we don't know for sure if they succeeded in rescuing Cobra Commander," Hawk grumbled. "If they want to rescue him. With those snakes you can never tell what's going on!"

"What really gets me is that Bragg has been working with Cobra!" Roadblock snapped. 

"Yeah and Trask wasn't too happy about that," Flint told him. 

"Okay let me get this straight," Fred scratched his head. "Trask was working with Bragg who probably helped him out of jail. But Bragg is working with Cobra who is really run by Mystique? Mystique has taken over Cobra trying to raise an army of mutants to take over the world but is working with two guys who hate mutants and want to destroy them. Is this really confusing or is it just me?"

"No it isn't," Low Light said. "Do you think Bragg knows who he's dealing with?"

"Probably not," Hawk shook his head. "This could be the break we're waiting for!"

"Yeah but unless we have concrete evidence it's not gonna work!" Low Light slammed his fist into the wall. He shook violently. "I really want a piece of that guy!"

"We all do!" Hawk told him. 

"So what do we do now?" Althea asked.

"**We **don't do anything," Hawk told her. "**You **and the other Misfits are to stay on base. You leave the planning to us for now. And you kids are not going anywhere until we get all this sorted out! Get it?" 

"Yeah we got it," Lance sighed. "It stinks but we got it."

"Don't worry," Althea told him. "Something tells me we're gonna find some action soon enough. Just wait. They're gonna slip up sooner or later."

"And when they do," Hawk growled. "We'll be ready." 

************************************************************************

Bragg was not a happy man. Especially now. 

"What do you mean you can't find Trask?" Cobra Commander hissed.

"I don't know where he is!" Bragg snapped. "He had a hissy fit when he found out about you! The man is too narrow minded to see the big picture." 

"Find him," Cobra Commander snapped. 

"I've already got people on it," Bragg said. "Don't worry. Bragg out." 

He shut off the communicator. He sat there for a second. Then he screamed and threw his stapler at the wall. "GOD DAMN IT TO HELL!"

"Problem sir?" Eddington walked in.

"That Colonel is the understatement of the year," Bragg snapped. "That stupid, narrow minded moron!"

"Which one sir?" Eddington asked. "Trask or Cobra Commander?"

"You have a point!" Bragg snapped. "Why the hell did Cobra Commander send those rejects from Hell's Angels out there! There was no need to tell Trask exactly who our backers were! Okay maybe Cobra's not exactly the Boy Scouts but for crying out loud sometimes you have to work with people you don't like in order to get the job done! Roosevelt wasn't exactly crazy about Stalin but he needed his help to get rid of Hitler and all his buddies! The problem is that Trask sees things in black and white! There's a larger picture going on! And thanks to the two of them this could all blow up in my face!" 

"Sir," Eddington said. "If he's captured again he could tell someone about what he knows." 

"This is not good," Bragg grumbled. "Eddington. We're gonna have to remove Trask from the picture. Permanently." 

************************************************************************

Somewhere in Antarctica several mutants stood on the frozen ground. "Are you sure this is the place?" A tall red haired teen snapped. "There's nothing but white here as far as the eye can see!" 

"Shut your yap Cortez," Sabertooth snapped at him. "He's here. Somewhere…" 

"Where?" Cortez snarled. "He could be anywhere in this area!"

"Then we'll just have to melt everything until we find him," Pyro said.

"Are you mad?" Mastermind growled. 

"That's a relative question," Sabertooth snickered. "But he's got a point. Most of this area is nothing but ice! You wanna end up in the ocean stupid?"

"Well he's not doing any good!" Cortez snapped pointing at Mastermind.

"I told you," Mastermind snapped. "His mind is too advanced for me to track."

"Then what good are you?" Cortez snapped as he grabbed him by the collar. 

"Shut up!" Sabertooth yanked him away. "We needed him to get this from that research station." He took out a small electronic device. "If you weren't babysitting the jet you'd have seen how he snuck it out right under their noses! Unlike you, he's actually useful!" 

"So what does it do?" Pyro asked.

"It detects density of the ice," Mastermind told him. "As well as analyzing substances within the ice including different kinds of elements."

"Come again?" Pyro asked.

"It finds stuff under the ice," Sabertooth snapped. "Now shut up and let me work this thing!" He turned it on. 

"Is it working?" Cortez asked.

"How the hell should I know?" Sabertooth grumbled. "I don't know how these things work!"

"Oh this is just great!" Cortez snapped throwing up his hands. "We're never gonna find him!"

"Well if all else fails you can always just grab a shovel and dig!" Sabertooth snapped. He walked a few feet and the device started to beep. "Wait a minute, I think I've got something! A hundred feet, that way!" 

They walked for a brief while. "Right here!" Sabertooth said. "We're right on top of him!" 

"My turn!" Pyro cackled as he lit the flame-throwers. He started to melt the snow. 

"Careful you fool!" Mastermind snapped. "I see something! It is Magneto!"

"Man did they do a job on hiding him!" Pyro said as he finished clearing away the snow. 

"Come on!" Sabertooth snapped. They climbed down the small pit. 

"So how do we get him out of there?" Pyro asked.

"We gotta chip away at the outside!" Sabertooth used his claws. "Get those tools out."

"I've always wanted to be a sculptor," Mastermind took out a small hammer and chisel and started chipping away.

"Well what are you waiting for? An engraved invitation?" Pyro asked Cortez. 

"My talents do not include acting like a stonecutter lackey," Cortez sniffed. "I have my own special gifts to help our Lord Magneto." 

"Just help us you sycophantic psycho!" Sabertooth snapped. "Or I'll carve you up like a Thanksgiving turkey!"

"Well when you put it like that," Cortez grumbled and started chipping away. 

About an hour later they finally broke through. Magneto fell to his knees, gasping. "Are you okay boss?" Pyro asked.

Magneto glared. "Is…he…kidding?" 

"Allow me my lord," Cortez placed his hands on Magneto and sent out healing energy towards him. "Is that better, sir?"

"Much. Excuse me but I really need to use a snowbank," Magneto stumbled towards one. "NOW!" 

"Oh yeah," Sabertooth and the others looked away. "We got ya." 

"What happened?" Magneto asked as he finished his business. "How long was I in there?"

"Several months," Cortez told him. "Too long have we been without your leadership! Too long have we floundered in the sea of…"

"Oh will you please put a sock in it?" Pyro snapped. 

"Well I didn't see you do anything when he was captured!" Cortez snarled. 

"What did take you so long to find me?" Magneto asked. 

"Blame Mystique," Sabertooth snapped. "She knew where you were but wouldn't tell us. She was too busy running Cobra and fooling around with Zartan!" 

"What?" Magneto gasped.

"Oh that's right you wouldn't know," Pyro shrugged. "Boy did you miss a lot! Including your kids running off and joining the Joes!" 

"Tell me everything," Magneto's eyes narrowed. 


	67. Another Night of Quality Time

**And now a very silly, pointless chapter that I needed to get out of my head. That happens a lot to me. **

**Another Night of Quality Time **

"How did you get your head stuck in a drawer?" Roadblock groaned as he led Todd out of a room. 

"I dunno," Todd shrugged as he rubbed his head.

"Okay you can go play," Roadblock sent him on his way. He looked at Cover Girl who had just walked in on the scene. They both started laughing. "How the heck he gets into these situations I will never know!" 

"He's 'special'," Cover Girl shrugged.

"Oh he's special all right," Roadblock shook his head. 

"Cover Girl! Cover Girl! Lance and Low Light are using the dishes for target practice again!" Fred called out. "And they won't let me play!" 

"Not again!" She went to the window. "Oh great the Triplets set the back yard on fire again!" 

"You're wrong!" Pietro they could hear Pietro shouting.

"No you're wrong!" Shipwreck snapped.

"You take care of the nuts outside, I'll deal with the nuts inside," Roadblock sighed as they went downstairs. He saw Shipwreck and Pietro snapping at each other. 

"You're wrong Vulture Vomit!" Pietro snapped.

"You're wrong Micro Mind!" Shipwreck stuck his tongue out. 

"Pukey Penguin Pants!"

"Meatball Brain!" 

"Will you two knock it off! What are you fighting about now?" Roadblock shouted.

"Actually we're not," Shipwreck said. "We're just practicing for our next fight."

"Yeah it's fun!" Pietro said. "Booger Butt!"

"Big Mouth Bass!" 

"CRAZY!" Roadblock screamed. "YOU ARE ALL MAKING ME CRAZY!" He left the room screaming.

"What's his problem?" Pietro asked.

"I dunno," Shipwreck shrugged. "Maybe he needs to get out more?" 


	68. Cobra Commander Takes Control

**Cobra Commander Takes Control**

"Where is everyone?" Mystique hissed in her guise as Cobra Commander. They were lounging in the throne room. 

"I don't know," Zartan told her. "I can't find Sabertooth or any of the mutants he brought with him anywhere!" 

Copperhead walked in. "Copperhead you numbskull!" Mystique hissed. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Out," Copperhead shrugged. 

"Out," Mystique snapped. "Well now that you're back get me something to drink!"

"Get it yourself!" Copperhead snarled.

"What did you say?" Mystique growled. 

"I said, get it yourself," Copperhead said haughtily. "What's a matter, you deaf?"

"How dare you?" Mystique roared. 

"Ah shaddap!" Copperhead waved. 

"Do you have any idea who you are talking to?" Mystique roared.

"Yeah I do," Copperhead folded his arms. "I know who you are. And what you really are!" 

"GUARDS!" Mystique shouted. Immediately several guards showed up. "Arrest him!" Not one person moved. "Didn't you hear me?"

"You heard the Commander!" Zartan snapped. "Arrest the traitor!"

"Good idea," Copperhead said. "You heard the man, arrest him and his mutie girlfriend!" Immediately the guards turned their weapons on Zartan and Mystique.

"This is not good," Zartan gulped. He grabbed her arm. "Let's get out of here!" They tried to leave by the door but their way was blocked. 

"Hello there," Cobra Commander stood before them. "Remember me?" 

"Cobra Commander?" Zartan yelped. "How did you escape?"

"I'm afraid I had something to do with that father," Zanya said. "Road Pig!" 

"My apologies Zartan," Road Pig grabbed Zartan. "Yeah, sorry boss!"

"Oh no you don't!" Mystique attacked Cobra Commander. Soon the two of them were fighting each other.

"How do we tell which is which?" The Baroness asked as she and the others arrived and saw the fighting. 

"Are you sure we can't shoot them both?" Mindbender asked. 

"I have an idea," Destro said. "Just punch her out you idiot!"

"What?" One of them turned on Destro. "Who are you calling an idiot?"

Immediately Destro shot the other Cobra Commander. This one revealed herself as Mystique. The real Cobra Commander glared at him. "That was uncalled for!"

"It worked didn't it?" Destro asked. "Take her!" 

Immediately Mystique was tied up along with Zartan. "Well it seems like all the loose ends are tied up," Cobra Commander joked.

"Not quite," Zanya said. "Remember our bargain?" 

"Yes Zanya," Cobra Commander sat on his throne. "I'm sure you will be a very effective leader of the Dreadnoks."

"You can't do this to me!" Zartan shouted.

"Oh shut up!" Zandar snapped. 

"And all of you are just going along with this?" Zartan yelped at his former henchmen. "I created the Dreadnoks! I'm the one who pays your salary."

"Not anymore," Road Pig told him.

"Sorry Zartan," Torch shrugged. "Nothing personal, but Zanya here promised us raises if we followed her. You know how it is." 

"I don't believe this!" Zartan bellowed. "How could you betray me? My own daughter?" 

"Be quiet Father!" Zanya snapped. "You are so lucky I was able to cut a deal in order to save your hide!" She then gloated at Mystique. "You on the other hand are another story. Sorry sweetie, but you're on your own. Oh and by the way…" 

She punched Mystique in the nose. "I owed you that!" She snapped. 

"Take them away!" Destro shouted.

"Not just yet!" Cobra Commander told him. He stood up and walked to the middle of the room. "I've heard you two were having a bit of trouble running Cobra," Cobra Commander said. "Watch and learn!" 

He snapped his fingers. Immediately aides ran around him showing him folders. "I want that one," Cobra Commander pointed to various papers and barked orders at the aides. "That one and that one, not that one. And that one! Death Squad 12 is missing? We lost **another** one? For crying out loud! Oh well. Cash in their insurance policies. Then use the money to send payment to Fidel. Also, send him a huge basket from Harrods. Give me a pen and some paper! Attach this note to it! 'Fidel, sorry about the mix up. Hope this will make up for it. How about tennis next Thursday? We'll do lunch and talk business. I'll bring the scotch. Send my love to the kids, Cobra Commander.' NEXT!"

He looked over more papers and barked more orders. "No. Yes. Forget it. I want him sacked, him shot and him promoted. Fund the biological weapons program, but send a few of our agents to steal some smart bomb technology and improve on it. Next! Use volcano power fool, why waste good plutonium? Lost the base huh? Did anybody think of using the remote control self-destruct detonator? That's what they're there for people! If they haven't deactivated it by now! You, tell those morons at the casino if they don't get back to work right away they won't have any teeth to worry about! Make an example out of the ringleader! Go! You put together a squad to steal some oil from one of the earth's oil reserves!"

"Which one sir?"

"Pick one! Surprise me!" Cobra Commander barked. "I want a full report on the Sierra Gordo situation on my desk in twenty minutes. I want all the mutant officers rounded up and locked in a cell right now! I want you to get me the plans on our new weapons designs. I need the latest issue of the Wall Street Weekly so I can figure out what stocks to invest in and do some insider trading! And somebody get a note to the cook, no more jelly doughnuts! And get my decorator up here! I wanna redo my personal quarters and have them fumigated!"

He strutted up to the bound Mystique. "You see my dear, leadership just comes naturally to one like myself. You on the other hand, well…I really haven't decided just what to do with you yet. However between myself, Destro, the Baroness and Dr. Mindbender I'm sure we will think of some very amusing things to do."

"Oh yes Commander," Destro folded his arms. "I have some old fashioned racks and torture devices that have been gathering dust."

"Don't use her up too quickly," Dr. Mindbender leered. "I'm sure I can think up some fascinating things to do with her DNA." 

"Just give me five minutes in a room alone with her," The Baroness growled in Mystique's face.

"Take a number!" Zarana snapped. 

"I got dibs to go first!" Zanya said. 

"Oh we are going to have such fun! Now that I have returned to Cobra nothing will stand in my way!" Cobra Commander shouted.

Just then a huge explosion rocked the place. Cobra Commander turned around and to his horror the walls seemed to open up. The figure of a familiar red cloaked man floated into the room. Two other figures then strode into the room. "Here he is Magneto," Sabertooth grinned. "The head snake himself." 

"Oh crap," Cobra Commander grumbled. 


	69. A New Alliance is Formed

**A New Alliance is Formed**

"Hello," Cobra Commander said nervously. "You must be Magneto." 

"And I see that you are not Mystique," Magneto floated in. "You must be Cobra Commander then."

"You've heard of me?" Cobra Commander asked.

"Oh yes," Magneto grabbed his shirtfront and lifted him off the ground. "I have." 

"This is not good," Torch gulped. 

"You are the maniac who tried to kidnap my son and daughter as well as several other associates of mine," Magneto growled. "And to use them in your experiments."

"Kidnapping is a strong word," Cobra Commander gulped. "It was more like an aggressive recruitment campaign." 

"Save your lies you sniveling worm!" Magneto snarled. "I know all about you and how you treat mutants!"

"Now wait a minute!" Cobra Commander snapped. "Those are exaggerations! Besides there have been quite a few stories about you going around so don't you…AGGGGHHH!" He gasped when Magneto started to strangle him.

"That ought to shut you up!" Mystique snapped.

"Quiet you!" Magneto snarled at her. "I will deal with you soon enough. After I take care of him! An example must be made to show that no human will get away with Crimes against Mutants!" 

Then an idea came into Cobra Commander's mind. "Wait! You don't understand! I can prove those stories are false! How can I discriminate and torture mutants when not only do I employ them," He pointed to Zartan. "But…" He removed his cowl. 

Magneto's eyes widened. "Y-You're…?"

"A mutant, like you," Cobra Commander replaced his cowl. "Yes. Do you really believe that my goal to rule the world is to enslave our kind? It is to enslave humankind…brother."

"Oh brother," Destro whispered underneath his breath. 

"True I have done the occasional experiment," Cobra Commander said as Magneto let him go. "But it's only to enhance the natural powers of mutants! To improve the way of life for our kind! Basically the same things you yourself have done. Would you call yourself a tyrant over mutantkind? We are of the same cloth you and I. The only difference is I have been forced to work with humans to achieve my goals."

"Hey!" The Baroness snapped.

"Of course the present company here is much more advanced and intelligent than the average human," Cobra Commander said. "They understand the need for the dominant species to survive and claim their rightful place."

"Then you wouldn't mind working with your fellow mutants," Magneto said.

"Of course not! In fact, I suggest that we form an alliance," Cobra Commander said. "A pact between fellow mutants. What do you say? I have armies and resources at your disposal and with your knowledge of mutations, there is nothing we can't accomplish! And we both have some enemies in common, am I right?" 

"Yes," Magneto nodded. "You are right. Very well, we shall work together," He offered his hand. Cobra Commander took it. "And together we will both get our revenge on GI Joe!" 

"You know if I were you my first target of revenge wouldn't be GI Joe but the ones who put you in that stasis block in the first place," Cobra Commander said. "Now who was it again?"

"Emma Frost," Magneto growled. "And that infernal Inner Circle." 

"Yes from what I understand she made a deal with Mystique to assist Cobra," Cobra Commander pondered. "I see no need to inform her of the change of leadership at this time. Do you?"

"No," Magneto grinned. "I don't." 

"Perhaps you should have a discussion with her exactly what the details are," Cobra Commander suggested. "And why she didn't intend to rescue you when she knew exactly where you were all those long months?" 

"Yes," Magneto glared at her. "I was wondering that myself."

"I was just going to put together a rescue squad myself," Cobra Commander told him. "Once I took care of a few loose ends here." 

"Sir," Zanya stepped forward. "I am Zanya, daughter of Zartan and the new leader of the Dreadnoks. I must humbly ask forgiveness for my father's actions. He has been…led astray." She glared at Mystique. 

"Young Zanya here is also a mutant," Cobra Commander brought her forward. "An exemplary warrior. She has her father's ability to camouflage herself. And a natural leader if I do say so." 

"Indeed?" Magneto raised his eyebrow. "I admit I have heard some things about you. And they are impressive. I could use someone like you in my Acolytes." 

"You know," Zandar spoke up. "You could train Zanya and my sister and I could run the Dreadnoks while she's away. I mean why should she be held back training a bunch of lowly humans? Am I right boys?" 

"Oh yeah!" The Dreadnoks called out. "Absolutely! We'd just hold her back! You go girl!" 

"Sir," An officer whispered to Cobra Commander. "What about those mutants you ordered rounded up?" 

"Fool I said bring all the mutant officers here!" Cobra Commander snapped. "So they could help Magneto escape from his cell! Escape! Don't you people listen? But now they can talk to our new ally. And the glorious new future for all Mutantkind!" He turned to Magneto. "It's so hard to get good help these days." 

"We could get more," Zanya told him. "If we could just get our hands on the Cytorak Gem Destro was hiding."

"I was wondering when you'd get to that," Destro muttered. He turned to Magneto. "Apparently Ms. Frost was planning to increase sunspot radiation using a device using it. Let's just say, the radiation is not beneficial to normal humans. However, I'm sure now that Cobra and your associates are now allies we can work out some sort of deal?" 

"I think we can," Magneto said. "But for now…I'd like to have a few words with Mystique…in private."

"Of course, of course," Cobra Commander nodded. "We have several wonderful torture chambers…I mean conference rooms that you could use. Uh…why don't you have Zanya here show you around? I'm sure you will all find something you like!" 

"Good idea," Zanya grinned. "As long as I get to watch. Aunt, Uncle…please escort my father home. He needs a time out."

"Okay!" Zandar nodded. "No problem!" Quickly the Dreadnoks left with Zartan. 

"Magneto I can explain…" Mystique said.

"Save it!" Magneto told her. "Zanya if you don't mind?"

"Of course not Lord Magneto," Zanya bowed. "Right this way." They followed her out. Soon only the Cobra staff remained. 

"Well that was close," Cobra Commander sighed. 

"Smart move," The Baroness told him. 

"I think so," Cobra Commander said. "I don't think it's necessary to tell him my real origins now do you?"

"No Cobra Commander," All the staff grinned. 

"Yes, I think this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful partnership," Cobra Commander grinned underneath his hood. "At least until I decide to dissolve it." 

**Next: deception, discoveries, Misfit bonding, a minor GI Joe character appears, spy stuff and whiffle bats! **

*Those of you who do not know of Cobra Commander's origin (Cartoon verse) stay tuned! Or you could just go roaming around a few websites and cheat. For those that do, well…Don't tell Magneto just yet! 


	70. Lies, Spies and French Fries

**Lies, Spies and French Fries**

Back at the Misfit house two mutants were having problems of their own. "Barney?" Fred looked under the couch on his hands and knees. "Little C? Where are you guys? Here babies!"

"Oh great!" Lance grumbled as he looked all over the place. "The only thing we had to do this afternoon was watch the babies and they take off on us!" 

"Yeah just our luck we get diaper patrol when all the other guys go do some training," Fred looked around. "Hey maybe they're over there?"

"Yeah let's check over here. YIKES!" Lance yelped as he and Fred were covered by baby powder. He looked up the stairs and saw the two babies scramble away shrieking with glee. "Oh they are so dead!" 

"How did they manage to get into the baby powder?" Fred grumbled as they ran upstairs. 

"Who knows how those two little maniacs do anything?" Lance grumbled. "Come back here you little rugrats!" 

"Here they are!" Fred pointed to a small trail of powder that went into Shipwreck's bedroom. 

"So hiding under the bed are you?" Lance sneered. He dropped to his knees. "You can't escape me!"

"Lance wait! Barney's got his…" Fred started to say.

"OW!" Lance shouted as he stuck his head under the bed. He drew it back out, and rubbed his head.

"Whiffle bat," Fred told him.

"Thanks for the warning," Lance growled. "Will you two come out of there!"

"NO! NO!" They squealed loudly. 

"Look you can't stay under there," Lance told them. "Now come out here!" He reached in to grab them. "OWW!" He jerked his hand back. "They bit me! Those little…"

"Don't hurt 'em Lance!" Fred said. "They're just babies!"

"Don't hurt **them?**" Lance snapped. 

"They're just scared Lance," Fred told him. "I got an idea. You keep 'em cornered. I gotta get something!" He went out of the room. 

"Like what?" Lance snapped. "A baby sized straightjacket? Come on you guys give me a break! I'm not gonna hurt you. Although right now I'd love to…" 

"NO! NO!" They both shouted.

"All right! All right! Calm down!" Lance told them. He took a deep breath. "Look you have to take your nap now. Of course first you gotta get cleaned up a bit. Now come on and…" He stuck his head under the bed. 

"BAAAAKKK!" Barney squawked as he hit Lance on the head with the whiffle bat. 

"I wish he'd stop doing that," Lance rubbed his head. 

"Here we go," Fred came up with some French fries on a plate. "Fresh from the microwave! Come on you guys! Come on!" He got down on his hands and knees and waved a small French fry in front of them. 

"What are you doing?" Lance asked.

"Coaxing them out with French fries," Fred told him. "Maybe they're hungry." 

"Anything's worth a try at this point," Lance said. He took one. "Come on you two. Num num time! Yummy! Good food out here! Blob don't eat the French fries! Hey you guys better get out here and eat them before Blob does!" 

"Come on!" Fred waved one. "They are so yummy! Mmmmmm! Good! That's right…" A tiny beak poked out from under the bed. "That's right! Come on out and eat the nice…HEY!" Before he could react a tiny pair of flippers grabbed the fries and the beak pecked at Fred's fingers. "THAT'S NOT FAIR!"

"Why those little…OW!" Lance shouted when the beak snapped on his fingers. 

"Who'd have thought somebody with flippers could have such sticky fingers?" Fred wondered. 

"How does Toad do this?" Lance moaned. "Wait a minute! I got an idea! Blob, lift up the bed!" 

"What?" Fred looked at him.

"Lift up the bed and I'll grab them," Lance explained the plan. "Wait! Hold on a second!" He grabbed a football helmet from the closet and put it on. "Now I'm ready!" 

"Got it!" Fred lifted up the bed as Lance swooped down and grabbed the babies. 

"HA!" Lance smiled. "Go ahead and hit me now sucker!" That was when Barney bit him on the nose. "OWWWW!" 

He grabbed his nose on reflex and the babies clung to him, climbing down his body. They started to race away again right between Fred's legs. "Hey watch it you two!"

"Lance I can't hold this! WHOA!" Fred cried out.

"Fred don't drop the bed!" Lance screamed.

Just then Shipwreck returned to the house. He heard yells and a crash. "What in the name of Davy Jones' Locker is going on up there?" He shouted as he ran upstairs. He saw Lance knocked into a wall wearing a football helmet, Fred under his bed, it resting on his stomach. Meanwhile the babies were happily bouncing on the bed and fries all over the place.

"What the heck is going on here?" Shipwreck cried out.

"We were trying to get them to take a nap," Lance muttered. "But I think we need one instead." 

***********************************************************************

Sergeant Phillips made his way to his locker. He took out a small key. He then went back into the supply closet. When he was sure no one was watching he opened the door and went inside. He moved several objects to reveal a small radio. He was about to turn it on when suddenly something tackled him from behind. 

"What?" He shouted when Xi revealed himself.

"Pleasant dreams," Xi grinned as he punched him out. 

When he came to he found himself in Hawk's office. "What happened?" 

"Well, well, well…" Hawk grinned. "What have we here?"

"Looks like we got ourselves a spy general," Althea grinned. Xi, Pietro, and Wanda were there as well.

"You know what happens to spies don't you?" Pietro leered. 

"Now, now children," Hawk said. "Playtime will have to wait. Sergeant Phillips, I think we need to have a little talk." 

"I have nothing to say," Phillips spoke. "I was under orders from…" 

"From who?" Hawk raised an eyebrow. "Spill it!"

"I can't tell you," Phillips told him. "Let's just say from some people higher up than you!"

"If you are referring to that dipstick Bragg and his lackey Eddington I would not exactly feel safe," Hawk told him. "Don't bother denying it, we traced your transmission signals. All we had to do was watch and wait to see who was the informant." 

"You can't do anything to me," Philips grinned. "General Bragg is higher up than you. You can't lay a finger on me without him raising a stink!" 

"Well I could always assign you to the Misfits," Hawk grinned. "I'm sure they'd love to have some 'Quality Time' with you." 

Philips turned pale as he turned and saw the mutants looking at him like wolves ready for a meal. "Oh I am sure we can have lots of fun with our new friend," Wanda cackled. 

"You're choice Sergeant," Hawk told him. "Either cooperate with us or…"

"It's playtime," Pietro made an evil grin. Xi showed his claws. Althea punched her fist into her open hand. Wanda started to power up. Several objects began to fly around the room. 

"All right!" Philips caved. "I'll talk! I'll talk! Just keep them away from me!"

"Now that's what I thought you'd say," Hawk grinned. 

************************************************************************

Back at the hidden Cobra base Emma was checking on some figures in her office when an alarm went off. "Now what?" She groaned as she went to check on it. 

"Ms. Frost!" A soldier came up to her. "Several components of the Pulsar Cannon are gone! Including the roto-osculator!"

"How the hell could anyone steal that?" She snapped. "That thing weighs at least a hundred pounds!" She turned and saw a janitor sweeping up. "You there! Did you see anything?"

"No ma'am," The janitor whistled as he swept. "Just doing my duty."

She went to check his mind to see if he was telling the truth. "Wait a minute, how are you blocking me? Guards! Get him!" Several men appeared.

"Oh dear and just as I was sweeping up!" The janitor used his broom to take out the guards. He then removed his jumper to reveal his clothes underneath. He was a black haired man with gray sideburns sporting a black moustache. He was also wearing a tuxedo. "Well now that I've changed out of my working clothes I feel much better."

"Matthew Burke!" Emma hissed. "I should have known! You rat! What are you doing here?"

"You always were a card Emma," Matthew Burke, British secret agent grinned. "My Auntie heard about your little party with Cobra up here so I thought I'd drop in and see what you were planning."

"And sabotage my operation," She hissed. "How are you blocking my thoughts? Wait…you have one of those miniature blocking devices on don't you?" 

"Handy little devices," Burke tapped his forehead. 

"So is this!" She fired a laser at him. He ran and dodged down the hall. Several goons chased him, but he easily dodged them in the typical secret agent style.

"I'd love to stay but my Auntie expects me to tea," He leapt towards the window. "But I'll be sure to give her you're regards. As well as a few components I've smuggled out." He jumped out.

Emma ran towards the window and saw a hoverplane with the acronym A.U.N.T.I.E on the side. "FIRE THE MISSLES!" 

They did, one did hit the side of the plane. "Oh bother," He grumbled. He managed to eject from the hoverplane as well as ejecting the box with the components."

Emma ordered her troops to search the woods. "How hard can it be to find them? Burke can't carry them! Just go to the wreckage and get him before he gets away!" 

However Burke seemed much better at hiding than the troops were better than finding. He watched them search and wander away from his hiding place. "Oh dear," Burke sighed. "And after all the trouble my Auntie went through to get me transportation. I'm going to have to hide the components somewhere nearby for now." He took off into the woods, dragging the box with him. 

Meanwhile back at the base the search teams were having no luck. "Sorry Ms. Frost…nothing!" One soldier reported. 

"I have got to get a new security staff," Emma Frost grumbled. 

************************************************************************

Somewhere in a hidden apartment, Trask was pacing back and forth. "I don't know who to trust any more," Trask grumbled. "I can't even go to any other of my military contacts. Who knows how many of them are working with Bragg?"

"I had no idea Cobra had infiltrated that high up," The figure in a high-backed chair told him.

"Neither did I!" Trask groaned. "Maybe I should have gone with the Joes. They may be misguided but at least they're patriots! They'd never allow scum like Bragg to get away with it!"

"That's defeatist talk."

"You're right," Trask sighed. "The Joes are too blinded by their affection for those mistakes of science!" 

"Yes, they do seem to be very protective of their mutant pets aren't they?" 

"As if they could keep them on a leash for very long! If humanity is to have any chance of survival we have got to get the sentinels back online! Thank god I never told Bragg about my back-up armory. Although now all my men are gone it's not going to do me that much good!" 

"Don't worry. I know a place where you can work on the remaining sentinels in private," The man spoke. "We can retrieve them easily with my team. We have a new weapon in place that will help even the odds of humans against mutants."

"I'm glad I was able to contact you," Trask sighed. "But you have got to be careful! If Bragg finds us…"

"He won't. You have my word."

"Thank you," Trask said. "Thank you Sebastian. I've always said you were a man of character." 

"Don't worry," Sebastian Shaw grinned. "My associates will keep you safe. You have my word." 


	71. The Spy Who Taught Me

**Those of you who don't know about Matthew Burke, he appeared on the episode 'The Spy Who Rooked Me' on GI Joe. Basically he's a copy of the James Bond character. And he really irritates Flint. I always found him annoying as well. So…**

**The Spy Who Taught Me**

"Let me see if I get this straight," Flint said to the figure across from him at the table. "This Emma Frost is a mutant working with Cobra. They've made a device to increase sunspot radiation in order to increase mutant births. But it's harmful to anyone who doesn't have an X Gene? Why?" 

"I really don't know old boy," Burke shrugged. "Not really my department. I'm just a simple agent."

"An agent who couldn't do a simple job as recover those components!" Flint growled.

"As I told your general I they were over a hundred pounds," Burke spoke as if he was speaking to a small child. "There was no way I could have gotten them out of the area unseen. I did hide them very well."

"So in other words you want the Joe team to clean up your mess," Flint snapped. "Again." 

"You're still miffed about the nerve gas incident aren't you?" Burke sighed. 

"I don't appreciate being used if that's what you mean," Flint growled. 

"It was necessary," Matt threw up his hands. "What I don't understand is why Cobra is willing to work with her. I admit she does have a charming personality, when she's not trying to kill people that is but dear Emma is not that charming."

Lady Jaye smiled. "Well Burke for once we Joes have all the info. It seems that the role of Cobra Commander is being played by another mutant."

"Really?" Burke raised an eyebrow. "A takeover of some sorts? Well that would explain the sloppy way Cobra's been acting lately. Who is he?"

"**Her **name is Mystique," Flint told him. 

"Mystique eh?" Burke raised an eyebrow. "I remember her. The blue shapeshifter right? I met her on a mission once a long time ago. We got to know each other quite intimately."

Flint couldn't hide the look of disgust on his face. "Tell me Burke, has there been any woman you **haven't **slept with or **tried **to sleep with on a mission?" 

"Oh now we are really getting sore over old wounds now are we?" Burke calmly sipped his tea. "So I flirted with Lady Jaye a bit. Nothing ever happened."

"Thank god for small favors," Lady Jaye growled. 

"Temper, temper," Burke wagged his finger. "You know it really is so unbecoming of a lady to act like that. Have you been picking up your husband's bad habits?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lady Jaye snapped. 

"Don't get me wrong, you Joes are formidable opponents but it's just that you're all too…unpolished. A bit too rough-hewn. There's just a lack of social graces that's all. I mean Lady Jaye you do come from a background of fine breeding. I'd just hate to see you or anyone else forget that."

"Now wait a minute you stuck up jerk," Lady Jaye snapped. "You…"

"Are absolutely right," Flint said.

"WHAT?" Lady Jaye gasped. 

"Well let's face it," Flint shrugged. "We're not exactly the most polished group in the world. We are soldiers after all. We could use his help with some of our new recruits."

"New recruits?" Burke asked. 

"New recruits?" Lady Jaye asked. 

"Yeah you see we feel that they need some pointers," Flint said. "We are trying to teach a new breed of soldier. They are very special. They have amazing skills. You know I think you could really influence them. Let's face it, you are very good at what you do."

"True," Burke nodded. 

"I mean with your sophistication you could really do some good," Flint told him. "But if you're not up to it…"

"Well wait a minute," Burke said. "Of course I would be interested. I do have some time to kill. Perhaps this would be interesting. I always thought of myself as a man who could teach future generations of agents a thing or two." 

"Well you know what they say," Flint said. "Teachers mold the minds and hearts of the future. And who knows, maybe these youngsters will teach you something as well. I mean, teaching does have many rewards. I mean they are very bright, young eager men and women that are keen to get on. Especially the young ladies."

"Ladies? Really? Do you think Hawk would mind?" Burke asked.

"Oh I'm sure if I ask him he'll jump at the chance," Flint said. "What do you say?"

"Why not?" Burke preened. "I mean why shouldn't I share my experience with the young ladies? I mean the new recruits. I'll do it!"

"Excellent," Flint smiled. "Actually I can have you teach for a few weeks by as soon as this afternoon. Unless that would be a problem for you?"

"Oh no old boy I'm sure I'll think of something," Burke got up. "I'll see you in a bit. I'll go prepare now." 

"That's great!" Flint said. "You have no idea what this means to me."

"Think nothing of it!" Burke went off. 

"You really do have an evil streak in you don't you?" Lady Jaye smiled.

"It comes in handy sometimes," Flint grinned. 

************************************************************************

That afternoon Gung Ho led Burke to the classroom. "So you're the new target…I mean teacher," Gung Ho looked at him. 

"Very amusing," Burke admitted wryly. "I take it this is the new unit of Special Forces or something?"

"Oh yeah, they're special all right."

"By the way, what happened to the last person who taught them? I heard there was some sort of incident." 

"Well the last guy had to go to the infirmary. Something happened in class and he needed some rest or had to be put in a body cast. I dunno," Gung Ho shrugged. "Uh, you do have your insurance paid up don't you?" 

"Why do I have the feeling that I have been set up?" Burke grumbled. 

"Ah don't worry. These are good kids, a bit rough around the edges. But they ain't so bad," Gung Ho told him as they made it to the door.

"Really?" 

"Really. FRESH MEAT!" Gung Ho shouted as he shoved Burke through the doorway. He then slammed it behind him. 

"Hello Mr. Teacher!" Fred waved.

"What in the…?" Burke blinked when he saw a group of teenagers instead of military personnel. "Who are…oh no! Not you!"

"I told you we'd meet again," Althea grinned.

"All right," Burke sighed. "Very well. My name is Matthew Burke and obviously I have been conned into teaching you delightful young…people for the day."

"Hey you talk funny," Fred said. "Are you from another country like Canada or something?"

"Or something yes," Burke sighed. "I've heard rumors of the Joes training a group of delinquent mutants. Let me take a wild guess. You're them."

"Bingo!" Todd said as he ate a fly.

"Okay," Burke looked quickly at his attendance sheet. "Moving on…I might as well start with a roll call. First up…Avalanche."

To this Lance responded by sending a tremor through the room. Bits of plaster fell on Burke's head. "A simple 'here' would have sufficed," Burke said. "Next is Blob…I take it that's you." He looked at Fred. 

"Gee how did you ever guess?" Pietro quipped. 

"Yes well why don't you inform me of your powers when I call your names?" Burke said. "Might as well see how deep the hole I'm in is. Now I can take an educated guess at what Avalanche does but what do you do Blob?"

"I'm strong and I can't be moved!" Fred made a muscle. "Want to see?"

"That's all right!" Burke held up his hands. "I believe you."

"No really it's no trouble!" Fred demonstrated.

"Put those desks down!" Burke snapped. "Next…Quicksilver."

"Here!" Pietro waved. Then he ran around the room. "Or maybe here. Or here. Or here. Or here…"

"Okay super speed, got that," Burke sighed. "Scarlet Witch. And what exactly do you do?"

"Change probabilities," She told him. "Using hexbolts." 

"And how exactly does that work?" Burke asked. Wanda demonstrated by having pencils and chalkboard erasers fly all over the room. "Okay," He coughed up some chalk dust. "Got that. Next is Toad." 

"Here!" Todd hopped up and down. 

"Okay…Wavedancer…oh so that's what they're calling you now? I'd have chosen another name but that neither here nor there. And finally…Xi?" He looked at the scaled mutant. "And what do you do?"

"You really don't want to know," Pietro snickered. 

"It's official. I'm in the class from hell," Burke sighed. "Speaking of demons from the netherworld, Wavedancer where are those charming sisters of yours?"

"Oh they're working on a special project," Althea told him. 

"I can imagine the possibilities," Burke sighed. "All right I supposed I should get started on basic espionage techniques." 

"Oh like how to seduce women?" Fred asked. 

"No," Burke said.

"I already know that," Pietro said.

"Oh please," Wanda rolled her eyes.

"Let's get started here shall we?" Burke asked.

"Yeah I wanna know how to seduce women!" Fred called out.

"Me too!" Todd piped up.

"WHAT DO YOU NEED TO LEARN THAT FOR?" Althea snapped.

"I just wanna be a better lover for you sweetheart," Todd blinked.

"Oh…" Althea said. 

"Good save," Pietro snickered. "But if anyone needs to learn about women its Lance."

"I DO NOT!" Lance snapped. "I know a lot about women!"

"Since when?" Todd asked. 

"Yeah Lance," Wanda asked. "I hate to admit it but my brother's right. You need all the help you can get." 

"I DO NOT!"

"Lance we all know for a fact that you have only dated two girls in your entire life," Pietro told him. "Kitty, Queen of the Valley Girl Rejects and Willow, Miss Good Time Girl. And we all know who wore the pants in both relationships!" 

"Willow didn't wear any pants at all," Fred said. "In fact she didn't wear very much of anything."

"That's true," Todd nodded.

"You didn't have to be so quick to notice!" Wanda snapped.

"Wanda how could he **not **notice?" Althea defended her boyfriend. "Even **I **couldn't help staring at her. Let's face it, no guy has a chance around her." 

"Uh…I think we're getting off the track here," Burke blinked. 

"Yeah Lance and I really need to take notes here on women," Fred took out his notebook.

"I DO NOT NEED TO TAKE NOTES!" 

"Maybe we should co-teach this class?" Pietro asked. "Compare notes?"

"We are not going to teach anybody on how to seduce women!" Burke snapped.

"Why are you bad at it?" Xi asked.

"SHUT UP!" Burke snapped. 

"Hey that's abuse!" Todd shouted. 

"Yeah!" Fred called out.

"You shouldn't be mean to Xi!" Wanda shouted.

"Poor guy's been traumatized enough!" Lance told him. "You're against mutants!"

"I am not!" Burke snapped. "I'll have you know that I have slept with…I mean worked with several mutants."

"Okay I want details!" Pietro called out.

"So you are good at it," Xi said.

"Note time!" Fred picked up a pencil. "I'm ready!" 

"We are not going to discuss my private life!" Burke shouted.

"Why not?" Xi asked. "We'd like to learn something interesting for once in this class!" 

"Yeah we want a story!" Althea shouted.

"NO!" Burke shouted.

"If you don't tell us we won't learn anything about women!" Fred snapped.

"You are not here to learn about women!" Burke snapped.

"We want a story!" They all shouted.

"NO!" Burke shouted. "Now shut up!" 

"We won't shut up until you tell us a story," Pietro shouted. "Hey Vern! We won't learn!"

"Hey…what?" Burke asked. 

"HEY VERN! WE WON'T LEARN! HEY VERN! WE WON'T LEARN!" The Misfits chanted.

"ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT YOU WIN! YOU WIN!" Burke shouted.

"Yay!" Todd smiled. "I like story time!" 

"Fine I'll tell you about a mission I was on," Burke sighed. "If only to shut you up!" 

"Make it a good story!" Fred said. "With lots of women in it."

"Or mutants," Lance said.

"Mutant women," Burke sighed. "Perfect. I'll tell you about a mission that I was on when I ran into this shapeshifter named Mystique. I believe you know her." 

"Wait a minute," Todd asked. "You know our old Boss Lady Mystique? When?"

"A long time ago," Burke told him. "Now…"

"How long ago?" Todd asked.

"I don't know. It was so long. I was on a mission posing as a German count when I met her. That must have been, I don't know…16 years ago."

"Sixteen years?" Pietro snorted. "Gee to think that the boss lady shacked up with…" Suddenly he stopped. His eyes grew wide as the wheels started to turn. "Uh…what kind of relationship did you have with her?"

"Well it was complicated," Burke sighed. "Now my assignment was to…"

"You slept with her didn't you?" Lance asked.

"None of your business!" Burke snapped.

"He did," Lance nodded to the others. 

"That's not important!" Burke snapped.

"Wanna bet?" Todd grinned. 

"You don't remember the month you met her do you?" Althea asked. 

"What does the month have to do with it?" Xi asked. 

"I'll explain later," Wanda told him. "So what month was it?"

"I agree, what does that have to do with it?" Burke asked.

"It helps set the tone of the story," Lance said. 

"Well I know it was in the spring," Burke scratched his head. "I think it was April. Yes I'm sure of it! A lovely April day." 

As he was reminiscing Todd scribbled on a note to Lance and Pietro. _Anybody remember when the Fuzz ball's birthday is?_

I'm pretty sure it's sometime in the winter, Pietro wrote. _I remember Tabby saying something about that a while ago. _

_Yeah, I remember! January! Late January! _Lance wrote. As the note was passed around immediately they started counting on their fingers.

"What are you all doing?" Burke noticed them.

"Uh we're just doing some math here yo," Todd told him. 

Fred held up nine fingers. "Hey it fits!" 

"Hey you don't think…?" Todd whispered. 

"Only one way to find out," Althea said. She gathered them around and whispered instructions.

"What are you talking about?" Burke snapped. "First you want me to tell you about my missions then you ignore me? What is going…Where's Xi?" 

Suddenly something grabbed him and tied him up with some rope. "Let me guess?" Burke gulped. "Xi can turn invisible?" 

"Yup!" Althea smiled. "It's experiment time!" 

"Help…" Burke whimpered as the kids bent over him with grins on their faces.

************************************************************************

"Okay, let's review," Hawk sighed. He, Flint and Lady Jaye had the Misfits in his office. "After you guys drew the blood for your little experiment you decided that you wanted to re-enact Custer's Last Stand. Am I right?" 

"Well yeah," Fred admitted sheepishly. 

"So that's why he was covered in fake arrows and feathers," Hawk sighed. "Then after that you guys tried to grill him some more on his private life. And then there was the incident with the mice and the pumpkin pies. No wonder he was crying for his mommy! You realize that you just sent one of the United Kingdom's top agents to a psychiatric ward? What possessed you to do such a thing?" 

"Because Flint paid us ten bucks each to do so," Todd played with his fingers.

"SHUT UP!" Lance shoved him. 

"You shut up!" Todd shoved him back and stuck his tongue out. 

"Thanks a lot Toad," Flint groaned. 

"Let me see if I get this straight," Hawk looked at Flint. "You paid them ten bucks each to drive Burke crazy?"

"Well yeah," Flint admitted. 

"I don't believe it!" Lady Jaye snapped. "They got 25 bucks apiece from me!"

"You're lucky," Hawk told her. "They got fifty from me." 

**As you have probably figured out, there are a few things in here I am saving for a future fic. Hey, it's my Alternate Universe and I'll do what I want! Next: The Misfits attack a Cobra base for more information on Bragg. But they run into some old friends instead! **


	72. A Funny Thing Happened On The Way to a C...

**A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to A Cobra Base**

"Okay listen up!" Roadblock called out to the assembled mutants in the van. "We just found out where a Cobra hideout is! This is a search and recover mission. Basically you go in, neutralize any opposition and get whatever they have in there! Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes sir!" The Misfits called out. They were dressed in uniform. 

"Okay here's how it goes," They pulled up to an abandoned warehouse. "Xi you do recon. Avalanche you and Blob cover the front. The rest of you take the back door! Let's do this people!" 

Xi turned invisible and went inside first. The others went to their stations. Inside Xi prowled around silently. There were a few papers scattered here and there but…

There was a figure in the dark, barely visible. Slowly Xi slunk near it. By it's shape and scent he could tell it was a mutant. Xi snuck up to it and knocked it unconscious. He really didn't want to kill a fellow mutant.

"ELF!" 

SNIKT!

Xi saw something charge at him. Even though he was invisible, Xi decided not to take any chances and dodged out of the way.

"All right bub," A voice growled. "I know you're here. I can smell you…whatever you are. Show yourself!"

"If you insist," Xi appeared just as he clawed the side of his pursuer. He managed to barely avoid the metal claws. He whirled around and faced him. To his surprise the wounds recovered almost instantly. 

"Cute trick pal…wait…you ain't a guy! What the hell are you?" Logan growled.

Xi just gave a smile and charged. "Dumb move kid!" Logan growled and attacked. 

************************************************************************

"You see anything?" Pietro whispered. 

"Not a thing…" Althea took the front. "Hold it! Someone's here! Duck!" 

Something glowed and exploded in front of them. "We got resistance!" Althea shouted. 

"I got 'em!" Todd slimed a figure in the dark.

"EEEWWW LIKE THAT IS TOTALLY GROSS!" Kitty shouted.

"Wait a minute…" Althea said. "Only one person talks like that!" At the exact same time she dodged a red eye beam. "CYCLOPS? SHADOWCAT?" 

"What the…" Scott emerged. "WAVEDANCER?"

Jean appeared. "Gambit! Cease fire!" Immediately Kitty, Rogue, Peter, Remy, Bobby, Ray, and Amara appeared. 

Then something crashed through some crates. It was Xi and Logan going at it. "Xi knock it off will ya?" Todd called out. "It's not Cobra! It's the X-Geeks!"

"The what?" Xi blinked before Logan tackled him. 

"Wolverine stop!" Jean separated them. "Calm down!" 

"That thing took out Nightcrawler!" Logan spat.

"Who are you calling a thing?" Xi snarled. "And I didn't kill him or anything. He's merely unconscious! If I wanted him dead, he would be." 

"What the heck is going…?" Lance and Fred ran in and saw the X-Men assembled. "Oh great! Isn't this just perfect!"

"This isn't exactly the thrill of a lifetime for us either!" Scott snapped. "What are you doing here?"

"We could ask the same thing about you," Althea folded her arms. "We were trying to get information. This is a Cobra base."

"An abandoned Cobra base more like it," Hank came in with Roadblock. "Well it seems we all meet again." 

"Looks like the gang's pretty much here," Roadblock said. "But what are all of you doing here?" 

"We were looking for some info too," Amara said. 

"Cobra sent some jerk to blow up the mansion," Bobby told them. 

"Actually Mystique did," Pietro said. 

"WHAT?" All the X-Men yelped.

"We think she's taken over Cobra with the help of Zartan," Lance explained. "Plus she's in league with a Trask and a general who wants nothing more than to send us all to the lab."

"Are you serious?" Kitty blinked. Lance nodded. "Oh great!"

"Where's Nightcrawler?" Bobby looked around.

"Here," Kurt walked up to them rubbing his head. "My head hurts. Something hit me."

"That was the Brotherhood's new little friend here," Logan growled pointing a thumb at Xi.

"Misfits!" Fred snapped.

"What?" Logan looked at him.

"We're the Misfits now," Lance explained. "Not the Brotherhood."

"New name, same attitude," Rogue grumbled. 

"I think we need to all have a little talk," Roadblock said. 

"I agree," Hank nodded. 

"This is gonna be fun," Todd grumbled as they headed back to the Pit.

"Here we go again!" Kurt sighed. 


	73. The Gang's All Here

**The Gang's All Here**

Soon everyone was back at the Pit. Xavier was meeting with Hawk and the others. (He was in the X-Jet waiting for the students.) It turned out Storm, Forge, Tabitha and Jamie were back at the mansion. So after a silent ride back the kids milled around in the Misfit's living room while the adults talked. The Misfits quickly filled the X-Men in on what they knew about Cobra. 

"Well it looks like you've been busy," Scott looked around. "The house looks bigger."

"Yeah we did some remodeling," Lance shrugged. "We like it." 

"So who's the new guy?" Kitty asked.

"Oh that's right," Todd said. "You ain't met Xi yet. He was in Japan when you guys stayed at the Pit. Xi, these are the X-men. X-men, Xi."

"Is Xi your codename or real name?" Kurt asked.

"Yes," Xi blinked.

"Just like Rogue," Althea said. "Or Jean." 

"So what are your powers?" Bobby asked.

"I can turn invisible and I can tell what kinds of powers a mutant has by touching him or her," Xi said. 

"Cool," Bobby admitted. "So where are you from?"

"Cobra," Xi hissed. Immediately the X-Men fell silent.

"Xi escaped from a Cobra lab," Althea told them. "He was the only survivor of this program to create the perfect assassin." 

"Assassins?" Jean gasped. "That's awful."

"Cobra is ruthless," Xi told her. "Thanks to them so am I."

The X-Men started looking very nervous. "Ah…do you have any other recruits?" Amara gulped. 

"Well technically…" Wanda snickered. 

"OW!" Hank came down the stairs with Barney on his back. "Will you please stop bonking me?"

Barney answered by hitting him on the head again with his tiny whiffle bat and laughing. Shipwreck came downstairs as well carrying Claudius. "I told you the kid doesn't like people touching his bat!" 

"This is my new brother, Barney," Althea sighed. "Also known as Beak, for obvious reasons." 

"BAA!" Barney bonked Hank again happily. 

"Oh what a lovely child," Hank sighed. "Well at least his arm is healing nicely."

"His arm?" Kurt asked.

"Let's just say my Dad rescued him and leave it at that," Althea told him. 

"Let's put them in their little playpen," Shipwreck did so. 

"Yeah so they won't bite my tail or anything," Kurt breathed a sigh of relief. "So what's the story?"

"Well the long story short is that Cobra's got this new pulsar weapon that's designed to stimulate sunspot radiation in such a way that it will encourage the birth of new mutants," Hank told them.

"Well that doesn't sound so bad," Pietro said.

"It does considering that the radiation will be harmful to everyone on earth," Hank told him. "Especially to non-mutants."

"Oh," Fred said. "That's bad isn't it?"

"Of course it's bad idiot!" Lance snapped. "You want the Joes to get fried or something?"

"No," Fred shook his head. "Okay we're in! So what do we do? Go blow it up?" 

"Not exactly," Roadblock entered the room with Xavier and Logan. "Hawk sent some men to recover a few components stolen from the machine. The agent who stole them couldn't smuggle them out. Too heavy. So he managed to hide them somewhere in the Carpathian Mountains." 

"Carpathian?" Todd asked. "Where's that yo?"

"Let's just say it's a popular hangout for Dracula," Shipwreck told him. 

"We gotta fight vampires?" Bobby cried out.

"Oh man," Fred rolled his eyes. "And people think I'm dumb?" 

"This is going to be a joint operation," Xavier told them. "We'll stay here tonight and leave in the morning."

"So it looks like we are going to be working together again," Scott sighed. "A dream come true." 

"And we get to have a sleepover," Rogue groaned. "What a blast!" 

"Yeah," Lance groaned. "This is gonna be fun…not!" 

"Well let's get something to eat and then we'll get ready," Shipwreck said. "For tonight the girls are gonna sleep downstairs and the boys are gonna sleep upstairs, just to make sure there's no hanky panky going on!"

"I think I can trust the boys to be well behaved," Xavier said.

"It ain't the boys I'm worried about," Shipwreck glared at Althea and Wanda.

"What?" Althea asked. 

"Oh tonight is going to be such fun," Logan groaned. 

**Next: A wild slumber party! Tune in for the insanity! **


	74. Sleepover Insanity

**Sleepover Insanity**

"I hope we aren't making a mistake about this," Hank sighed. All the adults were in the kitchen after dinner. 

"Well they didn't kill each other at dinner," Low Light said. "That's a good sign."

"Yeah but things were a bit tense," Cover Girl said. "And not just with our kids. Is it my imagination or is there something going on with Kitty and Peter?"

"I'm afraid there was a bit of an incident prior to our meeting again," Hank sighed. "Let's just say that some members of the X-Men are having romantic problems and leave it at that." 

"Oh goody," Shipwreck groaned. "Why do I have a feeling tonight is going to be anything but quiet?" 

************************************************************************

"Well this is going to be a fun evening!" Pietro laughed. The male Misfits were camped out in Pietro's room. 

"Oh yeah," Lance grumbled. "A sleepover with my worst enemies and my ex-girlfriend. A dream come true." 

"You are just not thinking creatively," Pietro grinned.

"What are you up to?" Lance asked. 

"Nothing special," Pietro put on an innocent face. 

"Yeah right," Fred folded his arms. 

Xi then walked in. "All the boys are washing up in the gym bathroom now," He told them. The house now had several bathrooms due to the amount of people. The gym bathroom was the largest and had shower accommodations for seven people. 

"Why did you want to know that?" Todd asked. "Pietro what are you up to?" 

"Hey Xi," Pietro grinned. "How would you like to help us with a little prank or two?"

"What do you have in mind?" Xi asked. 

"Oh if it is what I think it is…" Todd began.

"It's gonna be hilarious," Lance grinned.

"What is?" Althea stuck her head in. "I want in!" 

"No way!" Pietro snapped.

"Now wait a minute Pietro," Lance rubbed his chin in thought. "Why not get two birds with one stone?"

"Does this plan include Polly and Freedom?" Fred rubbed his head. 

"No it includes Xi," Pietro said. "They're not yet aware of his little secret. Would you mind telling them Xi?"

"Not at all," Xi grinned, liking the idea. 

************************************************************************

"This isn't so bad," Remy said after he showered and dried himself off with the towel.

"It's going to be a disaster," Scott grumbled as he dried himself off. "Just wait and see."

"Aw you're too paranoid Scott," Bobby was getting dressed. "What could those losers do to us?"

"Hopefully we won't find out," Kurt was trying to get the shampoo out of his fur. 

"I don't think they'll do anything too bad," Peter was finishing getting dressed. 

"I'm not worried," Ray sniffed as he showered. 

"That's good to know," Xi's voice could be heard among them. 

They all jumped. "Okay where are you?" Scott snapped. 

"I'm here," Xi told them, still invisible. He snapped a towel at Scott and Remy and changed the water temperature on Ray and Kurt. 

"YIKES!" Ray screamed, slightly sparking.

"Watch it Ray!" Bobby leapt out of the way.

"You nearly electrocuted us!" Kurt snapped as he popped out of the stall and grabbed a towel.

"That's not funny Xi!" Scott snarled.

"Come on out where we can see you ya little lizard boy!" Remy snapped. "Gambit want you to reappear right now!"

"If you insist," Xi reappeared before them, completely naked. 

All the X-Men gasped in shock. "That ain't no boy!" Ray screamed in a very high voice. 

"WHAT THE…?" Scott yelped. 

"Mein gott!" Kurt yelped, his jaw going slack. 

"Holy…" Bobby gasped.

Peter tried to say something but all that came out was a squeak. "A…ahhhhh?" 

"Put something on!" Remy screamed, throwing a towel at Xi.

"What's wrong?" Xi grinned ignoring it. "Don't like what you see?"

"XI!" The X-Men screamed as they tried to cover themselves up. "YOU'RE A GIRL! GET OUT OF HERE!"

Instinctively Kurt teleported. Unfortunately he teleported outside the hallway where Althea and Wanda had rounded up all the X-Girls. "AAAAGGGH!" He teleported back to the showers. Of course Wanda grabbed his towel just before he left. 

"Oopsie," She giggled holding it. 

"Wanda…" Rogue growled as more terrified screams could be heard from the shower. 

"What's going on in there?" Kitty ran in. "OH MY GOD!" 

"KITTY YOU GET OUT OF HERE TOO!" Kurt whined. 

Immediately all the girls ran into the shower room. "What is all the racket…." Rogue shouted. Then she saw Xi. "About?" 

"Oh my," Amara blinked. 

"What the hell…?" Jean gasped at the sight. 

"Ooh, Miss Perfect said a bad word," Althea laughed. By now all the Misfits were in the shower room as well. 

"Xi is a girl?" Kitty yelped. 

"Look again idiot," Rogue said. "That ain't a girl."

"She's right," Kitty blinked.

"How can he not be a she?" Kurt gasped. He had retrieved another towel, "He…she doesn't have a…you know? A thingy!"

"A thingy?" Rogue raised an eyebrow. She then turned to the Misfits who were laughing like crazy. "All right you jerks what's going on?" 

"Xi's not a boy," Althea snorted.

"Or a girl," Pietro snickered. 

"You mean…he ain't a he, but he ain't a she either?" Remy blinked. "Okay Gambit now is confused." 

"What is all the racket…" Logan walked in and saw the scene. "Holy… WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?"

"Logan what's all the…?" Hank walked in. "Oh my stars and garters!" 

"Let me guess," Roadblock walked in with the Professor following. "You've all just figured out that Xi doesn't have a gender do you?" 

"No gender?" Remy asked.

"Xi was created in a Cobra laboratory," Xavier explained. "Hence, 'his' lack of sexual organs." 

"That means I don't have the same desires as you do," Xi explained. 

"So you're not a boy or a girl, but they call you a he?" Amara asked.

"It's just easier," Wanda shrugged. "It's amazing how fast you get used to him." 

"Okay all of you," Roadblock growled at the Misfits. "Very funny."

"It sure was!" Althea roared. 

"Well I think later on we should all have a little discussion about this," Roadblock said in a serious voice. "Especially what you did to Xi!"

"Oh come on Roadblock it was a harmless prank," Lance said. "And Xi didn't mind! Did you Xi?"

"If I didn't want to do it, I wouldn't have done it," Xi admitted. "It was a good plan Pietro."

"Thanks a lot squealer," Pietro rolled his eyes. 

"We would have figured out it was you anyway," Roadblock said. "Let's just call it a day! All of you get ready for bed! Get 'em some extra bedclothes Fred. Like we said before, Boys upstairs, girls downstairs." 

"Wait a minute," Kurt said. "Where is Xi going to sleep?"

"With us," Todd said.

"But he's not a he…" Kurt yelped.

"Yeah," Bobby said.

"So?" Pietro looked at him. "Just pretend he's a he!"

"Isn't that a little….weird?" Scott gulped.

"Oh for crying out loud Scott!" Rogue snapped. "It's not like Xi's going to attack you or anything. He won't right?" 

"If it's that big a problem Xi can sleep with us tonight," Althea said.

"No he can't!" Scott snapped. "He's…well…she's….Xi's not a girl!"

"Well we're not gonna make Xi sleep alone!" Wanda snapped. 

"Yeah it's not fair!" Daria snapped.

"But he…she…" Scott stammered, clearly uncomfortable with the situation. 

"Oh relax Scott we don't mind if Xi stays with us," Jean said. "If we can get along with the Triplets we can put up with Xi." 

"Besides," Rogue smirked. "If you think we're gonna pass up a golden opportunity to get some dish on the guys you are wrong!" 

"There is that," Jean smiled. 

"JEAN!" Scott whined. 

"Oh ignore him," Althea gave Xi a bathrobe. "Come on girls, let's party!"

"Let's not!" Roadblock and the other adults followed them out in order to attempt to win a losing battle. 

"Don't worry Summers," Lance told him. "When it comes to stuff like this Xi's just like a little kid! Trust me on this!" 

"I'd sooner trust a Sentinel," Scott snapped at him. "You guys have pulled some pretty low stunts in the past, but this takes the cake!" 

"Oh calm down Summers. It's not like we hurt anyone," Lance defended.

"Are you nuts?" Scott snapped. "We nearly got killed when Ray nearly lost it!" 

"Hey almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades," Pietro told him. "Besides it's not our fault if Sparky here can't control his powers!" 

"I am so embarrassed," Kurt wailed. 

"Relax Elf," Todd patted him on the back. "I know exactly how you feel. I pretty much found out the same way. Man that was embarrassing! And to top it off, Althea ran in on us…Oh man. I can laugh about it now, but boy was I red! I mean I felt like crawling into a little tiny hole and die!" 

"Ya that's the feeling," Kurt grumbled. 

"I knew this was a mistake," Scott snapped.

"Yeah we should have known if Scott was right about anything it was about you clowns," Remy snapped.

"Look who's talking!" Pietro snapped. "Who turned traitor first? Not that we blame you as far as Magneto's concerned but still…" 

"Listen you prissy little…" Remy growled.

"Prissy? _PRISSY_?" Pietro screeched. "Who are you to call me that?"

"Actually that is pretty accurate," Fred said. "But only we're allowed to call you that."

"I AM NOT PRISSY!" Pietro shouted.

"You are a prissy egotistical jerk, that's what you are!" Kurt snapped.

"You want your tail tied in a knot?" Pietro snapped.

"Bring it on!" Kurt made a fist. 

"KNOCK IT OFF!" Todd hopped between them. "Look as much as I'd love to watch you two idiots go at it, we got bigger problems! We gotta stay on our toes!"

"For what?" Fred asked.

"The girls!" Todd snapped.

"Oh yeah I forgot about them," Fred sighed.

"You're right," Pietro said. "With Althea leading the pack there's no telling what's gonna happen."

"What's gonna happen is you Misfits are gonna cause more trouble for us like you jerks always do if we don't keep an eye on you!" Scott snapped. 

"Did you guys ever stop to consider that you deserve it for the way you treat us?" Lance snapped. "If you didn't look down on us from your high horse all the time and act like you're better than us…" 

"Newsflash!" Scott got in his face. "We are better than you!"

"Scott will you chill!" Kurt shouted. "As much as I hate to admit it, we're supposed to be working with them. The Professor would want us to at least try to get along with them."

"The Elf's right," Todd said. "Let's let bygones be bygones. Now we need to all stay together in one room…"

"I agree on that!" Scott snapped, glaring at Lance. "So we can keep an eye on them!"

"Maybe it's you we need to keep an eye on?" Fred growled.

"No it's the girls!" Todd groaned. "Don't you people ever listen to me?"

"Sorry Toad did you say something?" Pietro quipped. 

"I am going to my room!" Lance snapped. "There is no way I am sleeping in the same space as you clowns!"

"But you can't!" Fred called out. "What if the girls get you?"

"I'll take my chances!" Lance stormed out.

"Look we all gotta stay together," Pietro told them. "Those girls are going to attack us and do something tonight. I don't know what though."

"Maybe Althea and your sister might," Scott said. "And definitely the Triplets, but we have our girls to keep them under control!"

"Yeah," Kurt said. "Jean and Kitty are definitely not like that and neither are Rogue and Amara!" 

"Don't be so sure!" Todd told them. "Those girls are gonna do something evil! I know it!" 

"The girls are not going to do anything!" Bobby snapped.

************************************************************************

"All right ladies…and Xi," Althea said. "It's time to put our plan into action! Let's go over the list! Whipped cream?"

"Check," Rogue held up a few cans.

"Water guns?" 

"Check!" The Triplets cheered. 

"Silly string?"

"Got it," Amara grinned. 

"Those guys are not gonna know what hit them," Jean smirked. 

"This is going to be fun," Xi said. "Attacking the males and making a mess." 

"That's not her true plan," Wanda sighed. 

"What is her true plan?" Jean asked. 

"A boxer short raid!" Althea shouted.

"A what?" Rogue said.

"It's like a panty raid, only for girls," Wanda explained. 

"I'm gonna get Todd's boxers right off him!" Althea laughed maniacally.

"You mean you're gonna strip him?" Kitty gasped.

"Yup!" Althea told her. 

"You are a very sick deranged pervert," Jean told her.

"Thank you," Althea said. "Who's with me on the stripping?" 

"Count me in!" Rogue said cheerfully. "There's a certain swamp rat that needs to be put in his place!" 

"Well," Amara grinned. "I do want to get Bobby back for icing my underwear."

"When was this?" Althea asked.

"A while ago," Amara told her. "He tried a panty raid at the mansion. I think it's time he learned a lesson." 

"Well I'm not really interested in stripping thank you," Wanda waved. "I'm not interested in any of those idiots. I just want to make a fool out of my brother."

"I think we all agree on that," Quinn said. 

"YEAH!" Daria said.

"Oh no," Althea waved. "Only the real girlfriends are allowed to take their boyfriend's boxer shorts! That's the rule!" 

"Oh man!" Quinn pouted. 

"Yeah like we're going to listen to that rule," Daria muttered.

"I mean it!" Althea said. "Trust me on this! Don't disobey me!" 

"Don't worry!" Wanda waved. "Xi and I will keep them in line!" 

"This is wrong!" Kitty snapped. "Tell them Jean!"

"Well…" Jean said. "I mean if we're only allowed to do it to our boyfriends then technically…"

"What?" Kitty yelped. "You wouldn't like it if they did that to us!"

"They did try to do it to us, remember?" Rogue said.

"Yeah but they didn't try to take our underwear off us!" Kitty snapped. "And they failed miserably when they tried to steal our underwear!"

"What happened?" Wanda asked.

"I'll tell you later," Rogue said. "Well think of this as our revenge." 

"Yeah don't you wanna show your boyfriend you care by ripping off his jockeys?" Althea asked. 

"No I don't!" Kitty snapped. 

"Since when are you the party pooper?" Wanda asked.

"Yeah that's Jean's job," Althea said.

"Hey!" Jean snapped. 

"Aw lay off her," Amara said. "She and Peter are having kind of a rough patch." 

"What happened?" Althea asked.

"I really don't wanna talk about it," Kitty sighed. 

"Look all you have to do is phase us through the ceiling," Althea said. "Jean can levitate us up there. If you don't want to play Jockey Shorts Safari you can always just blast them with whipped cream!"

"I'll help you up but that's all!" Kitty snapped. "You're all just going to get caught anyway! The adults will catch you!" 

************************************************************************

"What you mean they took off?" Xavier snapped. 

"Just what it means," Low Light snapped. "Wolverine, Spirit and the Blind Master disappeared. Probably went out to the ninja dojo or one of their secret hangouts on the base to get plastered or something." 

"Oh great," Roadblock sighed. "I gotta go find them before it's too late! Hold down the fort!" He took off.

"Where's Hank?" Cover Girl asked. 

"With Shipwreck," Xavier sighed. 

"Oh no…" Low Light said. "He didn't!"

"Take a look for yourself," Xavier wheeled into the kitchen. Cover Girl and Low Light went with him. They found the two of them at the table singing and drinking.

"How did this happen so quickly?" Xavier yelped. 

"I dunno," Shipwreck hiccuped. "We thought it would be a good idea with so many kids in the house that we should put all the alcohol away where they couldn't get at it!"

"I think you've succeeded," Low Light looked at the empty bottles. 

"Not yet!" Hank said cheerfully as he reached for another bottle.

"This cannot get any worse," Xavier moaned. At that very moment the two babies scampered in screaming wildly. They were dragging rolls of toilet paper behind them. Following them was Polly and Freedom.

"AWK! ONE ADAM TWELVE! ONE ADAM TWELVE! BABY ESCAPE ALERT! BABY ESCAPE ALERT!" Polly flew wildly around the room while Freedom followed the babies out the back door. 

"You know you should really learn not to say things like that," Low Light grumbled as he and Cover Girl chased after the babies. "COME BACK HERE!" 

"AWK! Polly wants a drink! Polly wants a drink!"

"NO!" Xavier snapped.

"Oh let him have a drink!" Shipwreck waved. "It's a party!" 

"PARTY!" Hank, Polly and Shipwreck shouted. 

"Isn't this great?" Shipwreck laughed. "Aren't we all buddy-wuddies here?" 

"Buddy-wuddies?" Hank looked at him. "Shouldn't that be wuddy-buddies? Or Bubbly-wubblies? Charles what's the correct grammar for being sloshed?" 

"Oh shut up and pass the drinks," Xavier moaned. 

***********************************************************************

Meanwhile Lance was in his room trying desperately to ignore the sounds coming from outside. He lay there in his bed holding a pillow over his head. "This cannot get any weirder," He grumbled.

"I am so out of here!" Kitty snapped as she phased into the room. She blinked when she realized where she was. "Oh!"

"Kitty!" Lance sat up. 

She looked at him, blushing as he sat there bare-chested wearing only a long pair of sweatpants. "Umm…Sorry," She turned to leave.

"Wait," Lance said. "Don't go…I…I wanted to say something to you. What are you doing up here anyway?" 

"Oh," Kitty fidgeted. "All the girls are planning a raid on the boys. I helped them sneak up here but I'm really not in the mood right now."

"Yeah well," Lance waved. "I didn't really want to hang with those guys anyway."

"I've just been going through some stuff and I…I don't know," She sighed. "I've been really down."

"You did look a little depressed at dinner."

"You noticed?"

"Well yeah," Lance admitted. "I still care about you even if we aren't…" 

He stopped. "Look," Lance sighed. "I know we didn't exactly end things on a good note. I'm sorry."

"Yeah I'm sorry too," Kitty sighed. "There's something different about you. You've changed somehow."

"That's putting it lightly," Lance sighed. 

"No I mean it," Kitty sat down on the edge of the bed. "You look well…" She pointed. 

"Well I have been training and stuff," Lance shrugged. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He then noticed that he did look more muscular, more toned and fit than he ever had before. 

"Not just that," Kitty said. "The old Lance would have never apologized like you did. And I saw how you were playing with the babies during dinner."

"No big deal," Lance told her. "They're annoying but ya know. They're just little kids. Besides, they have it rough enough with their mutations. Especially Beak. Shipwreck found him in a bar. They were using him as some kind of entertainment," He clenched his fists. "It makes me sick just thinking about it." 

"Yeah things aren't getting any easier in Bayville," Kitty sighed.

"I can imagine," Lance sighed. "Kitty I swear the whole thing with the school was an accident! My powers have been evolving lately. I couldn't control it." 

"Yeah…I know now," Kitty said. "I overheard Roadblock saying something about Magneto drugging you. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have judged you so quickly."

"It's okay," Lance waved. "I guess I can understand why you'd feel that way. Let's face it, I don't exactly live up to the Boy Scout Code." 

"Yeah but with the way things are going for mutants lately I'm not so sure you were totally wrong about mutants and humans living together," She sighed.

"I wasn't totally right either," Lance pointed out. "I'm just figuring out there's a whole lot of gray area in this. I'm happy with the Joes Kitty. They're really good to the guys and me. It's not that bad around here. Actually it's pretty interesting." 

"I can imagine. You know I've forgotten how easy it was to talk to you," Kitty sighed.

"What about Peter?" Lance asked. "Can't you talk to him? I mean he is your boyfriend now." 

"Well, we're not exactly …dating right now," Kitty pulled her knees to her chest.

"What?" Lance blinked.

"For the past month things haven't been that great," Kitty sighed. "I mean I like him but…something's happened."

"What?" Lance was starting to get very interested. "Come on you can tell me. What is it?"

"Tabitha."

"Say no more," Lance said. "Wait, you gotta say more! Peter and Tabitha?"

"Not exactly," She sighed. "Well maybe…I don't know!" 

"Well what happened?" Lance asked. "You can tell me. I'll understand…"

************************************************************************

"I don't understand it!" Todd yelped. "You and Tabitha?" The remaining males were camped out in Todd and Xi's room because it was the largest. 

"NO! NO!" Peter shouted. "It's all a big misunderstanding!"

"What happened?" Fred asked.

"It's complicated…" Peter groaned.

"I'll tell you what happened," Scott said. "You remember how Tabitha and Ray broke up? Well she blamed Kitty for it even though she was innocent. So naturally…"

"Naturally she decides to get even and flirt with Peter," Pietro groaned. "Yeah that sounds like something our Tabby would do." 

"There's more," Ray groaned. 

"More?" Pietro asked. "Do tell!" 

"Well," Peter sighed. "I was in the pool taking a swim, minding my own business when all of the sudden Tabitha shows up. The next thing I know, she jumps in, takes her top off and attacks me."

"I think I get what's coming next," Todd groaned. "That's when Kitty walks in and sees the whole thing, am I right?" 

"Bimbo," Peter groaned.

"The phrase is bingo," Bobby told him. "Bingo."

"Actually in this case Bimbo is more accurate," Remy sighed. "Not to mention the little incident in the Danger Room!"

"Tabitha was wearing a wig!" Peter protested. "It was dark! I thought it was Kitty! Besides nothing happened. Well nothing much…" 

"Oh this is getting better," Todd snickered.

"Needless to say things are at an all time low," Peter sighed. "It cannot get any worse!" 

That was when the door to the room banged open. The boys found themselves staring at a pack of very happy girls. "Hello boys!" Amara smiled. "Wanna play?" 

"ATTACK!" Althea shouted as she shot the whipped cream at the boys. 

Soon there was mindless screaming, shouting and chasing each other from one room into another. "Can't catch me!" Todd hopped around.

"Yes I can!" Althea shouted.

"Silly string attack!" Daria, Brittany, Xi and Wanda ganged up on Pietro, Fred and Ray.

"Run for your lives!" They screamed.

"JEAN!" Scott screamed from one of the rooms. 

"HAHAHAHA!" Jean ran around in the hall waving a pair of boxer shorts wildly above her head. "They're mine! All mine!" 

"Now Cher…" Remy was backing away slowly. "You don't want to do this!"

"Come to mama sweet cheeks," Rogue grinned. 

"They're everywhere!" Bobby screamed. 

"We gotta hide!" Peter screamed as he opened up a door.

And immediately saw Kitty in her pajamas hugging a shirtless Lance on his bed. 

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" Peter shouted.

"Uh…" Lance blinked. "It's not what you think!"

"Oh yes it is!" Kitty snapped. 

"It is?" Lance blinked. "It is!" He grinned. "Ha!" He stuck his tongue out at Peter and put his arm around Kitty. 

"Why you lousy hood!" Peter rushed at Lance. Soon the two of them were fighting like mad. 

"What's going on?" Scott (Who had found some sweatpants) and the others rushed in and saw the scene.

"Hey way to go Kitty!" Althea hooted. 

Fred, Todd grabbed Lance and held him back as Rogue, Remy and Scott held on to Peter. "What happened?" Scott snapped.

"I think it's pretty obvious what happened," Daria snickered. "Kitty dumped Metal Muscles for the Rock Head!" 

"I do not believe this!" Pietro groaned. 

"Neither do I!" Peter snapped. "One misunderstanding and you go right back to this…this slime?"

"Watch it Tin Man!" Lance snarled. 

"Who are you calling Tin Man you…" Immediately Peter started swearing in Russian.

"I may not speak Russkie but I know what **that **means!" Lance snarled as he tried to tackle Peter. 

"KNOCK IT OFF!" Low Light shouted as he and Cover Girl stormed up the stairs. "What is going on here? Why are all of you upstairs? What's with all the silly string and whipped cream?" 

The kids all started to talk at once. "One at a time!" Low Light shouted. 

"We were just having a little fun," Amara said. "When Peter caught Lance and Kitty…Ummm." 

"Doing the horizontal mambo," Althea said.

"WE WERE NOT!" Kitty snapped. "We were just talking!"

"Didn't look like talking to me," Jean said.

"Jean are those boxer shorts in your hand?" Cover Girl asked. Jean blushed and hid them. 

"Wanda go see if any of the adults left downstairs are sober enough to help us handle this," Low Light ordered. "I can't believe all of you! In case you've forgotten we have a mission tomorrow morning! This is no time to be fooling around!"

"Oh yeah?" Quinn asked. "Then what were you and Cover Girl doing outside all this time?"

"What?" Althea asked. 

"When you guys were planning the final stages of the raid I decided to do some reconnaissance," Quinn told them. "I have pictures!" She held up a digital camera. 

"We were just talking!" Cover Girl said hotly.

"Yeah we were trying to get some peace and quiet away from you loons!" Low Light snapped. 

"Yeah, right," Lance snickered.

"Nothing was going on I swear!" Cover Girl shouted.

"We've heard that before," Brittany laughed. 

"They're all plastered in the kitchen," Wanda told them as she came back. "Xavier's doing wheelies. It's pretty funny." 

"Oh I gotta get this on tape!" Pietro zoomed downstairs. Soon all the kids followed, several were still arguing. 

"Lord help us all," Low Light groaned. "Tomorrow's mission is going to be a disaster. I know it." 


	75. There's No Such Thing as a Simple Recove...

**There's No Such Thing as a Simple Recovery Mission**

"Why did I have so much to drink last night?" Xavier moaned. 

"First rule of going on a mission," Roadblock told him. "Don't get a hangover the night before!" 

"Now they tell us," Hank muttered just before he passed out. 

"Some people just can't hold it like we can," The Blind Master shrugged. 

"Oh shut up," Shipwreck groaned. 

"Okay listen up to who's going," Roadblock said. "All the older kids, me, Cover Girl, Low Light, Spirit, The Blind Master, Logan, and Xavier. Also joining us will be Hawk and Lifeline! The mission is simple, Find the recovery team and assist them to recover the parts to the Pulsar Cannon." 

"Didn't anybody ever tell you there's no such thing as a simple recovery mission?" Low Light asked.

"There's always a first time," Roadblock shrugged. "Shipwreck you stay behind to watch the babies and Trinity…" He looked at Hank's unconscious form. "And Beast…for obvious reasons." 

"Why do we always have to stay behind and miss the fun stuff?" Daria whined.

"You're too young," Lance told her. "And you guys don't have complete control over your powers yet."

"We are not!" Quinn snapped.

"And we do so have control over our powers!" Brittany stomped her foot.

"Look we just don't think you're ready yet," Althea said. "You need more training. Besides somebody's gotta stay here to keep an eye on Dad and make sure he doesn't get into more trouble!"

Daria looked at her father. "You have a point," She sighed.

"Plus we need you to watch the babies as well," Todd said. "Okay?" 

"Fine," They shrugged.

"And the house better be still standing when we come back!" Althea shouted. 

"Here Professor," Cover Girl gave him a strange looking chair. "We call this a hoverchair. It makes moving around easier for you."

Xavier got into it and immediately he started to float. "This is easier than my regular wheelchair," He nodded.

"It will make going over the terrain a lot easier," Hawk walked up with Lifeline.

"So you still haven't heard from your search party yet?" Scott asked. 

Hawk told them. "They haven't reported in yet. I have a bad feeling that we may need all the firepower and mutant power we can get! And my hunches are never wrong!" 

"Then we'd better go!" Roadblock said. "Yo Joe!"

The X-Men took the Blackbird while the Misfits took a large Tomahawk. Several hours later they landed at the base of the mountains. "So who was in the search and recover party?" Althea asked.

"Falcon, Barbecue, Alpine, Bazooka, Gung Ho and Dial Tone," He answered. "Their last known position was around here." He pointed to a nearby cave. 

"Oh goody," Lance sighed. "We're off to search and rescue the search and rescue party."

"Let's stay together," Logan suggested. Soon they were inside a huge cavern. 

"Man this is huge," Bobby whistled. 

"Great now all we have to do is find our guys and components to that Pulsar Cannon," Pietro said.

"I don't think that's going to be a problem," Jean pointed. 

"Oh man," Hawk frowned when he saw several figures nearby. "I hate it when my hunches are right!"

"Greetings GI Jokers!" Cobra Commander called out. "As well as X-Men and Misfits. Welcome to Cobra's party!" He pointed to the first team all tied up. "The more the merrier I say! I must thank you for sending these fine young men to find my parts to the Pulsar cannon for me! My friends are very pleased as well!" He pointed to Sabertooth, Pyro, Mastermind, Ramrod and Ramfist as well as a few other Cobra officers. 

"Give it up Mystique!" Lance snapped. "We know that's you!"

"I'm afraid Mystique couldn't make it," A familiar voice floated over the cave. "But I was more than happy to come in her place."

"Oh no…" Pietro grew white when he saw who floated in.

"Hello Charles," Magneto boomed. "Good to see you again." 

"What are you doing with this slimeball?" Roadblock pointed to Cobra Commander. "I thought he'd be the last person you'd team up with!" 

"There's been a truce," Cobra Commander told him. "A new alliance between the Glorious Cobra Organization and Magneto!"

"Magnus," Xavier said. "I don't know why you are dealing with this madman but you must not do this! That cannon could also damage mutants as well!"

"But not as much as humans," Magneto said. "And I have taken steps to see that mutants who follow me will not be harmed and any others can be cared for. If they are willing to join me."

"Not a chance bucket head!" Logan struck out his claws. 

"Now things are gonna get interesting," Hawk said. 


	76. The Challenge

**The Challenge**

"I'm afraid you've lost this time Xavier," Magneto said. "I have the components as well as the hostages. As much as I applaud your efforts to help GI Joe…"

"Who says they were helping us?" Hawk snapped. "We're helping them!" 

"You humans really are pathetic," Pyro snorted. "We are the superior species!" 

"Oh really?" Hawk shouted. "Then I guess you won't mind a little contest between our groups will you?"

"Contest?" Magneto looked at him. 

"It's very simple really," Hawk told him. "We have a little tournament to see which side has the superior fighters. You and I will choose six of our men to fight in matches. Whoever has the most men standing at the end of all the fights wins. If we win we walk out of here with our men and the components. If you win the components are yours and all of us as well." 

"What makes you so sure that I would take up this interesting challenge?" Magneto told him. "I could simply take you right now. Why risk it?"

"Here's the catch," Hawk smiled. "My team will be all humans. No mutants at all will fight. That means none of the Misfits or X-Men can participate."

A gasp went up from all the mutants. "You don't mean that?" Jean asked. 

"Are you crazy?" Logan snapped.

"Yes," Hawk told him. "Trust me Logan. This is one lesson those jerks are never going to forget!" 

"But you can't beat them!" Scott protested. 

"Says who?" Roadblock said. "They won't know what hit them when we're through!"

"Hawk while I feel your intentions are good," Xavier said. "This will…"

"This will teach Magneto a lesson about humans," Hawk interrupted him. "And I think it might teach a few of you a lesson as well. What do you say Magneto? Up to the challenge? Or are your men incapable of taking down a few flatscans?" 

"Lord Magneto!" A voice piped up from the back. Cortez made his way forward. "I say we take this challenge and show these flatscans who is the superior species once and for all! I am willing to be the one who single handedly beats them to a bloody pulp!" 

"Yeah!" Pyro shouted. "Let's pulverize them!" 

"You can't do this!" Kitty cried. "Lance tell them they can't do this!"

"You're gonna risk our safety as well as the world's on this stupid contest?" Ray shouted. 

"You're nuts!" Bobby shouted.

"Hawk…" Fred gulped nervously. 

"Pipe down!" Althea shouted. "He knows what he's doing! If he says he can take down those pathetic losers! He can!" 

"Who are you calling a pathetic losers you lap dog?" Pyro snapped. 

"Well I don't see any other losers here so…" Althea said. 

"Don't listen to them!" Destro told Magneto. "They're up to something! We have them at our mercy! Do not take any unnecessary risks!"

"Really Destro?" Cobra Commander looked at him. "You imply that there is a risk for our men to fight these unworthy creatures?" 

"You know as well as I that it is unwise to underestimate GI Joe!" Destro hissed.

"Sounds like you should listen to Destro," Hawk taunted. "I mean if you're afraid of a fair fight…"

A huge protest rang up from Magneto's mutants. "Althea can't you do something?" Jean asked. "We have to stop this!"

"Why?" Althea asked her. 

"But you can't…" Bobby started. 

"Yes we can," Spirit said. 

"No you can't!" Kurt protested. "It's impossible!" 

"Possibility and impossibility are states of mind," Spirit told him. "In my mind, there is only the possible." 

Lance looked at Spirit. "I believe you," He said simply. "Go kick their butts!" 

"It's official," Scott looked at him with his jaw open. "You've all lost your minds!" 

"So what do you say Magneto?" Hawk called out. "Just let our men fight it out with no help from us?"

"Why not?" Cobra Commandeer said. "We have the advantage anyway. Besides, I'd love to see what your men are capable of." 

"Very well," Magneto said. "We agree to your terms." A cheer went up from Magneto's henchmen.

"This is a bad idea," Destro told them.

"Oh relax and watch the show," Cobra Commander said. "I'm going to enjoy myself!" 

"I can't believe this!" Kurt whined. 

"Don't worry," Todd told him. "You just gotta have faith and hope in the Joes." 

"We're doomed," Bobby groaned. 

**Next: The battle begins! Who will fight whom and win? Tune in to see! You won't believe what you read. **


	77. The Tournament Begins

**The Tournament Begins**

"Okay here are the rules," Hawk said. "Humans only for our team, six fighters for each team. Neither Magneto nor I will fight or give assistance. We will be allowed to pick who will fight. First team to have all it's fighters knocked out or give up loses. Agreed?" 

"Agreed," Magneto nodded. "They sound like very fair rules. I assume you will allow mutants to use their powers?"

"As long as they don't kill their opponent I have no problem with it," Hawk said.

"Are you out of your mind?" Scott yelped. "But that's not fair!"

"Don't worry about it," Roadblock shrugged. "We can handle it."

"Yeah, right," Ray scoffed. 

"We are so doomed," Kurt moaned.

"We are not!" Todd said. "Just relax! Hawk knows what he's doing!"

"That's good to know because I don't have a clue!" Kurt muttered. 

"Hawk you don't have to prove anything!" Xavier pleaded. "Call this off!"

"Apparently I do," Hawk told him. "Okay who's up first?"

"Let me fight my lord!" Cortez asked, bending on his knee. "Please give me the honor of serving you and proving how truly superior we mutants are!" 

"Oh for crying out loud," Pyro groaned. "What a suck up!" 

"Fifty says he blows it by being too cocky," Sabertooth said.

"You're on!" Ramfist said. "If he fights half as well as he kisses butt…"

"All right Cortez you're up first," Magneto sighed. 

"And which one of you lowly humans will be my opponent?" Cortez strutted forward. "Perhaps you?" He eyed Roadblock. "You look like a challenge."

"Actually I had someone else in mind," Hawk grinned. "Blind Master!"

Cortez's jaw dropped when he saw the Blind Master walk in with his cane. "Is this a joke?" He snapped. "An old blind man?"

"Yeah I think he can take you," Roadblock snickered. 

"Prepare to lose your money Sabertooth," Ramfist snickered.

"Yeah I want in!" Ramrod chimed. "Even Cortez isn't that pathetic!"

"Hey!" Cortez snapped. 

"Are we going to fight or are we going to just stand here and debate how much of a loser my opponent is?" The Blind Master asked. 

"You will pay for your insults you old fool! This won't be a challenge," Cortez sniffed.

That was when the Blind Master immediately punched him in the stomach. Then he gave him a roundhouse kick to the jaw. Cortez crumpled to the ground. "You got that right," The Blind Master chuckled. 

"Oh…" Magneto put his head in his hand. 

"I told you the kid was too cocky," Sabertooth said as he collected his winnings. 

"I should have known," Magneto glared at Cortez as he was dragged away. "All talk, no talent. All right Pyro I want you to go in. I need someone competent to fight now!"

"Yeah that was a lucky break winning over that loser!" Pyro sniffed as he stepped forward. 

"I pick Barbecue," Hawk pointed. "That Joe over there! And since Pyro is using his flame-thrower for his powers I want Barbecue's equipment as well given back to him. Unless you don't think your man can handle it."

"I don't…" Destro started to say.

"Go ahead!" Pyro waved. "I don't care what he has! Nothing can stop my flames!"

"Don't be so sure Sparky," Barbecue growled as he was freed and given his equipment back. 

"You shouldn't have done that," Destro told Magneto. 

"Why not? What's so special about that Joe? What does he do?" Magneto asked.

"He's the Joe fireman," Destro sighed as Barbecue used his equipment to douse Pyro's flame. 

"Oh…" Magneto frowned as he saw that Barbecue had gunked up Pyro's flame-thrower. "No wonder they picked him." He glared as Barbecue simply punched the pyrokinetic out. 

"Forget the losers Magneto!" Ramrod shouted. "Send one of us in!"

"Yeah they can't beat pure muscle!" Ramfist snapped. 

"Send me in!" Sabertooth snapped.

"Eventually," Magneto told him. "Have patience. You are our trump card. But for now I will send in one of my most powerful mutants! Mastermind!"

"But…but…Magneto," Mastermind protested. "I have no fighting skills!" 

"You don't need fighting skills idiot!" Magneto hissed. "Use your powers."

"Oh man this is not good," Pietro gulped. 

"Anybody want to take this one?" Hawk asked casually asked.

"I will rise to the challenge," Spirit said calmly. 

"Be careful Spirit," Wanda said. "You know what he can do to people's minds!"

"I do," He told her. "But I also know my mind. Remember, in my mind…"

"There is only the possible," Logan sighed. "Yeah. Problem is the same goes for Mastermind! Literally!" 

"Go Spirit!" Lance cheered. "You can do this!" 

"Can he?" Mastermind created an illusion of fire all around Spirit. "Come and get me if you can Joe!" 

"Are you sure Pyro isn't helping on this?" Kurt yelped. "I can feel the heat!"

"Burn GI Joe…" Mastermind cackled. "Burn…WHAT?"

Spirit calmly walked through the fire. "You are good at deceiving and tricking children and those with weak minds," Spirit told him. "But I have honed my skills with vision quests over the years, turning my mind into a wall which you cannot impregnate." 

"Oh really?" Mastermind removed the fire and delved deep into Spirit's mind. Spirit yelled and sank to his knees, clutching his head. "Yes…yes…I see them…all your fears…weaknesses….and insecurities…You thought you buried them deeply where they cannot hurt you? But I found them. See how easy I can turn them against you!"

"He's using his powers to warp Spirit's mind!" Xavier said. 

"Come on Spirit…" Lance said. "Fight him! You can do it!"

"He can do nothing!" Magneto said. "Soon he will be nothing but a drooling idiot!"

"T…Takes….one…to know…one!" Spirit grunted, sweating visibly, fighting Mastermind. 

"That's impossible!" Mastermind shouted. "He's resisting!"

"Your illusions…are impressive…" Spirit gasped. "But my will is stronger…. My mind is sharper…and my vision is clear! YOU SHALL FALL DECIEVER!" 

With a mighty roar Spirit rose from his knees and charged at Mastermind and clobbered him. Mastermind fell down instantly. Spirit stood over him panting. "I…thank you for pointing out my weaknesses…" Spirit gasped. "It allowed me to face them and make me stronger…" He nearly collapsed.

"Spirit!" Lance ran out and helped Spirit to the sidelines. "Give me some water!" He ordered, swiping it from Bobby. He held it up to his lips. "Here you go. It's all right Spirit. You won. Just rest now." 

"Look at the wimp!" Pyro growled. "The mighty Avalanche fawning over his human master!" 

"You always were pathetic," Magneto growled.

"Bite me Bucket Head!" Lance made an obscene gesture. "Spirit's more of a leader than you ever could hope to be!" 

Magneto growled. "Do not incur my wrath Avalanche. Lest you tempt me to teach you a lesson in respect!"

"You haven't earned it!" Lance snapped. 

"Avalanche!" Spirit ordered. "Be still…it doesn't matter." 

"He's right yo," Todd said. "What matters is the final count!" 

"Well let's check the score now shall we?" Hawk said. "GI Joe three, Mutants…Zip!" 

"They're winning," Scott said dumbfounded. "I can't believe it…they're winning!" 

"They haven't won yet," Logan told him. "You know Sabertooth is gonna get into the action." 

"So who's up next?" Hawk asked. "How about it?"

"We want to fight!" Ramrod and Ramfist shouted.

"Two at a time is no problem for us," Hawk said. 

"Ram Brothers. Ramrod, Ramfist! Dispose of those pesky Joes!" Magneto ordered. 

"Roadblock," Hawk nodded. "Gung Ho." 

"Finally some real action," Ramfist growled as he slammed his fist into his open palm. 

"You're going down you overgrown Billy goats," Gung Ho said. 

Roadblock paired off with Ramfist. "Saw your mama a while back," He said. "Didn't have the heart to tell Ewe what you boys were doing. I'd would have put her in a world of hurt." 

"I'd be more worried about your mama if I were you!" Ramfist snarled as he attacked. Soon all four of them were wrestling. 

"You humans are weak!" Ramrod howled as he got Gung Ho in a headlock. 

"Ah stop your bleating!!" Gung Ho stomped on his foot and broke away. 

"Prepare to be in pain!" Ramfist grunted as he and Roadblock had a death grip on each other.

"I…don't…think…so!" Roadblock butted his head against his. This stunned Ramfist long enough for Roadblock to grab him by the horns. He threw him down and broke one of them off. 

"My horn!" Ramfist howled. 

"My fist!" Roadblock knocked him out.

"BAAAHHHHH!" The Misfits cheered from the sidelines. 

"Number four has hit the floor!" Roadblock shouted.

"And here goes number five!" Gung Ho snarled as he knocked Ramrod out with a swift kick. 

"Way to go!" Fred whooped.

"Just one more and we'll win this thing!" Bobby shouted.

"I don't believe it!" Kurt cried out. "They're winning! They're actually winning!"

"They're not just winning!" Ray laughed. "They're clobbering 'em!" 

"And you guys thought **we **were pathetic?" Lance laughed. 

"Uh…you don't have any one of those energy wielding mutants around do you?" Cobra Commander asked nervously.

"No I don't," Magneto growled. "Sabertooth I think its time you took the field." 

"Past time if you ask me," Sabertooth strode before them. "But this time I gotta request! This time I get to pick who I fight!"

"I don't have a problem with that," Hawk said. "Go ahead. Pick one of my men!" 

"Very well," Magneto said. "Sabertooth will fight whomever he chooses." 

"And I choose…" Sabertooth grinned. "Him!" He pointed to his opponent.

"Who me?" Lifeline yelped. 

"Oh yeah," Sabertooth smiled. "This is gonna be fun." 

**What will happen next? Stay tuned as this fight takes a strange and wild course to an amazing ending! **


	78. Final Battle: Lifeline vs Sabertooth!

**Final Battle: Lifeline vs. Sabertooth! **

"Let me get this straight?" Roadblock blinked. "You want to fight…Lifeline?" 

"But I'm a non-combatant," Lifeline said. "I'm not supposed to fight."

"He knows that Lifeline," Logan growled. "I'll bet he read up on all the Joes' files. Figures he'd pick the easiest target!" 

"It's true I may have listened around," Sabertooth fingered his claws. "Heard you had a pacifist for a medic. What a joke!" 

"No," Hawk shook his head. "He is a non combatant. He's not allowed to fight."

"You said any Joe and I want him," Sabertooth sneered.

"Why you…" Logan shot out his claws. "What's wrong Sabertooth? Don't have the stomach for a real fight?" 

"I just thought I'd rack up an easy win," Sabertooth grinned. "Unless he'd like to forfeit?" 

"You can't do that!" Bobby shouted. "Lifeline you gotta fight."

"But I can't fight!" Lifeline said. "My job is healing. Not fighting." 

"A poor excuse," Cobra Commander waved. 

"I agree," Magneto nodded.

"Magnus please listen…" Xavier tried to reason with him. "What good will come of this? This isn't like you. Even you can't…" 

"Enough Charles!" Magneto boomed. "Either the medic fights or the entire competition is null and void with us as the winners!"

"You can't do that!" Scott said. 

"All right," Lifeline sighed. "I'll do it. I'll compete."

"Lifeline…" Hawk said.

"General you know what will happen to these kids if Cobra and Magneto gets their hands on them," Lifeline said. "I can't just stand by and let that happen. I have to break my vow. Just this once. For them." 

"All right," Hawk sighed. "Just try to slow him down as much as possible."

"I'll do what I can," Lifeline sighed as he stepped forward.

"Well, well," Sabertooth sneered. "Looks like the coward does have some guts after all! Just to show that there are no hard feelings, I'll even let you get the first shot. Come on! Show me what you've got!"

"No." 

"What did you say?" Sabertooth raised an eyebrow.

"I appreciate your offer of letting me hit you first," Lifeline told him. "But I have to decline. I'm afraid you are gonna have to attack first." 

"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?" Sabertooth snarled. 

"I said I'd compete with you," Lifeline told him. "I didn't say anything about attacking you!"

"WHAT?" Sabertooth snapped.

"I'm not going to attack you and that's final!" Lifeline snapped. "You may force me to fight, but you can't force me to intentionally hurt another living being! You can attack me all you like but I won't attack you!" 

"Oh give me a break!" Sabertooth snarled. "Fine if that's the way you want it!" He rushed towards Lifeline with his claws extended. Lifeline made a swift movement.

"KIYIIIIIII!!!!!" Lifeline shouted.

And suddenly Sabertooth went sailing into a wall. 

"Okay I didn't see what I thought I saw did I?" Remy blinked.

"I must have slipped," Sabertooth growled as he got up. He charged again.

"AIIII!" 

Sabertooth flew into another wall. "Okay now I'm getting serious!" He charged.

"HAIIII!" 

Again Sabertooth flew into a wall. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" Sabertooth snarled.

"It's called Aikido," Hawk said calmly with a grin. "It's a Zen martial art with no offensive moves. The purpose is to redirect violent energy away from oneself." He grinned as Sabertooth flew into another wall. "Lifeline just happens to be a master at it." 

"I'm sorry," Lifeline said. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Why you little…" Sabertooth growled and rushed at him again. And flew into a wall again. "This is getting embarrassing!" 

"Do something you fool!" Cobra Commander snapped.

"What do you think I'm doing?" Sabertooth snarled. 

"I'm really very sorry about this," Lifeline said. 

"NOT SORRY ENOUGH!" Sabertooth roared and attacked again. And ended up with a face full of dirt. "All right," He got up. "Now I am getting ticked off!"

"Maybe you should stop now?" Lifeline asked.

"Maybe you oughta shut up!" Sabertooth snarled. "OW! OW!"

"What's wrong?" Lifeline asked.

"I think I broke something," Sabertooth grunted. "I can't get up."

"Here let me help you…"Lifeline reached out for him.

"NO LIFELINE DON'T!" Roadblock called out.

Too late, Sabertooth grabbed his arm and grinned. "Thought that would do it. Can always count on you bleeding hearts to be saps!" 

"Sabertooth you dirty…"Logan growled.

Sabertooth lifted Lifeline up by his neck. Lifeline grabbed Sabertooth's neck in a feeble struggle to get loose. "Struggle all you like," He hissed. "I'm gonna enjoy this!"

"I can't watch," Amara hid her face. 

"Now I'm gonna rip you to shreds you little…you little…" He then felt strange. He didn't notice Lifeline's hands were glowing as they held on to his neck. "Hey…what the…Oooh! That feels…good!" He lowered Lifeline to the ground. "That feels real good!" 

"You seem to be very tense," Lifeline said. 

"Yeah I've had this crick in the back of my neck for I don't know how long," Sabertooth slunk to his knees. 

"What the hell is going on here?" Pyro yelped as Lifeline started giving Sabertooth a back massage. 

"I'm sorry," Lifeline massaged his shoulders. "I really didn't want to do this."

"That's okay," Sabertooth said sleepily. "Oh could you go more to the left and down a bit? That's perfect! Oh man that feels sooo good!" 

"What is he doing?" Magneto yelped. "What the hell is he doing?"

"Magneto! The medic is some kind of healer!" Mastermind said. "He's using his powers to calm Sabertooth down!" 

"YOU'RE CHEATING!" Magneto shouted. "HE'S A MUTANT! YOU SAID HUMANS ONLY!" 

"Actually he's not a mutant," Xavier told him with a smile. "He's human. He just happens to have extra sensory abilities, so technically it's legal!" 

"That's right," Cobra Commander groaned. "I forgot all about that!"

"What?" Magneto roared. "And you didn't tell me about this?"

"Well excuse me!" Cobra Commander snapped. "How was I supposed to know he'd pick the one Joe with any powers at all? Besides, it was your idea!"

Destro snapped, "I told you not to agree to this farce. But nooooooo!" 

"You really should have taken my advice and picked another Joe," Hawk snickered.

"I have seen a lot of fights in my day," Logan stared at the scene. "But this is by far the strangest one I have ever seen!" 

"Oh I feel so mellow," Sabertooth purred as Lifeline continued his massage. "I haven't felt this good since…since I experimented with catnip when I was a kid. Ooohhh!" 

"Will you just kill him you idiot!" Magneto screamed.

"Yeah…right," Sabertooth muttered sleepily. "I'll do it. Just after I finish my nap okay?" And with that he collapsed on the ground snoring. 

"Game, set and match Magneto!" Roadblock hooted as well as all the X-Men and Misfits. "GI Joe Six! Magneto Zero!" 


	79. Sore Losers

**Sore Losers**

"I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS!" Magneto roared. 

"You lost Magneto!" Hawk told him. "Now hand over the components as you promised!"

"Forget it GI Jokers!" Cobra Commander snapped. "You may have made a deal with Magneto, but not with me!" 

"Why am I not surprised?" Remy growled as he prepared to get his deck out.

"Let's just kick their butts and go home already!" Bobby shouted.

"I don't think so!" Destro pulled out a device and aimed it at the Joes and X-Men. Immediately sound waves started to emit from it, causing them to drop to their knees. Instinctively Kurt grabbed the person closest to him, which in this case was Todd and teleported away. Pietro grabbed Wanda and ran off while Kitty grabbed Lance and phased him through the rock wall. All the others couldn't move fast enough and were knocked out.

"What was that?" Magneto asked Destro. 

"I call it a Sonic Incapacitator," Destro explained. "A little device I cooked up in my spare time. I had a feeling we would need this." 

"Excellent Destro," Cobra Commander nodded. "At least there is one person on this team we can count on!" He glared at Magneto's henchmen. 

"I'm not so sure we should have done that," Magneto frowned. "We did have a deal after all."

"Oh I see, and you want the word to get out that your supreme mutant troops were beaten in a simple contest by a group of humans?" Cobra Commander said. "No, not just beaten, totally humiliated!" 

"When you put it like that…" Magneto sighed. "Take them all to the cells. Except for Rogue."

"Why her?" Destro asked.

"She is…of interest to me," Magneto said. "Take her to my lab and make sure she's kept sedated. As well as the Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver."

"They're not here," Pyro said. "Just like 'em to turn tail and run!"

"Neither is a few of the others," Magneto noticed. "No matter. They are unimportant. Besides, they will come to us soon enough and when they do we will be ready." 

************************************************************************

"Will someone please stop that horrible ringing?" Althea groaned. "It's interrupting my hangover." 

"It's not a hangover kid," Logan groaned as he got up. They noticed that they were in cells with force fields in them. 

"Oh goody," Althea groaned. "That makes me feel so **much **better!" 

"Did they get all of us?" Scott looked around. 

"I don't see Kurt or Lance," Jean said. "Rogue and Kitty's not here either." 

"Toad's gone too," Fred sat up. "And I don't see the Twins. Maybe they got away?"

"For now," Zanya told them as she stepped forward. "Rogue is upstairs. Magneto thought it would be best to keep her sedated for now. The others we'll get soon enough."

"Zanya," Althea hissed. "I should have known you'd be around here you swamp rat."

"Nice to see you too…Wavedancer," Zanya sneered. "Sorry I missed you back when the Dreadnoks were entertaining you a while back." 

"Not half as sorry as you're gonna be when I get out of here you lilly livered…" Althea growled as she took a step forward.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Zanya casually kicked a stray piece of trash towards the forcefield. It disintegrated instantly. "Might be a bit painful."

"Well I see our guests are awake," Magneto arrived with Mastermind. 

"All present and accounted for," Zanya snickered.

"Where's Rogue, Magneto?" Xavier demanded. 

"Safe," He waved. "For now. I want you all awake to witness the dawn of a new era. The beginning of the end of humankind. I only wish that dear Emma were here when I arrived. I wanted to pay her back for her hospitality." 

"Nobody here knows where she went," Mastermind informed him. "At least that's what I've gotten from those thoughts I can read." 

"Magneto I know what you're planning," Xavier said. "Don't you realize what you're doing can harm mutants as well as humans?"

"Save your breath Professor," Hawk told him. "He experimented on his own kids. He doesn't give a damn about anyone but himself." 

"I enhanced them," Magneto told him. "In order to make them stronger."

"You mean to make them your own personal soldiers," Hawk snapped.

"Oh yeah that's much different than what you Joes are doing," Zanya quipped. 

"The difference is that we don't hurt the kids unlike this slime!" Low Light snapped. 

"Do not tempt my patience you insignificant hairless ape," Magneto growled. "The only reason you humans remain my guests is at the insistence of Cobra Commander."

"Oh I'll bet," Roadblock grumbled. 

"Magnus you have to stop this," Xavier pleaded. "You can't seriously trust Cobra Commander!"

"I don't, but at least he has the wisdom to recognize the necessity for my plans," Magneto said. "In time, so will you." 


	80. Toad Spills the Beans Again!

**Toad Spills the Beans (Again!) **

"We gotta get back there!" Todd said angrily. "Althea and the others are in trouble!" They were outside the cavern and watched the Cobras and Magneto's men take their friends away. 

"Hey I want them back just as much as you do," Kurt held onto him. "But we need a plan!"

"So what's the plan?" Todd asked. "Spill it Elf Boy!"

"I'm working on it," He sighed. "WHOA!" 

Kitty and Lance phased through the rock. "You guys got away too?" Lance asked.

"Yeah," Kurt blinked. "How did you stay phased in that rock all this time?"

"We didn't," Kitty said. "Lance like made a hole in the cave and we hid out there for a while."

"I didn't know you could do that with your powers," Kurt said. 

"I can now," Lance shrugged.

"Hey is that lipstick on your face?" Todd blinked.

"Uh…no," Lance quickly tried to wipe of the smudge from his lips. 

"I don't believe this!" Todd slapped his forehead. "All our friends are captured and he decides to make time with his girl!" 

"I wouldn't worry about it too much," Kurt sighed. "Knowing them they'll probably break up before the end of the mission."

"You're right," Todd nodded. 

"So what are we talking about?" Pietro sped up with Wanda.

"When Lance and Kitty are gonna break up," Todd told him.

"We were discussing how we were going to rescue the others!" Kitty snapped.

"That too," Todd shrugged.

"Figures you guys would get away," Lance said.

"Can you blame me for wanting to get as far away from Magneto as possible?" Pietro said. 

"At least this time you took me when you ran off," Wanda sighed.

"Come on," Todd said. "We'd better follow them and see where they're holding the others."

They didn't walk long until they made their way to an impressive castle. "Great," Pietro sighed. "Now what do we do?"

"We can use Kitty's and Kurt's powers to get inside," Wanda said. "Find the others and free them." 

"Yeah I just hope your dad don't decide to do any more experiments on your sister before we get to her," Todd said. "Or any of the others." 

"What do you mean her sister?" Kurt asked. "What are you talking about?" 

"You mean she still didn't tell you that Magneto was her father?" Todd's jaw dropped.

"WHAT?" Kurt yelled. He glared at Pietro and Wanda. "Is this true?" 

"Yeah it's true," Wanda said. "Our father and Mystique created her as an experiment." 

"How could she not tell me?" Kurt asked.

"Look can we postpone the family reunion for when everybody is out of there?" Lance asked. 

"Fine," Pietro sniffed. "As your leader I think it is imperative…"

"Who said you were in charge?" Kitty snapped.

"I did!" Pietro snapped. "Because I am a fearless…."

"You are a bigger coward than I am!" Todd snapped.

"I am not!" Pietro hissed. 

"Will you idiots knock it off and help me put together a rescue plan?" Wanda snapped. 

"You know I think I've just figured out why Rogue didn't say anything about Magneto being her father!" Kurt grumbled at Pietro. "She didn't want to admit being related to you!" 

"I'm your big brother too," Pietro said. 

"We are not related!" Kurt spat. "Rogue is my half sister and your half sister! Wait a minute…Rogue and I have the same mother but you and Rogue have the same father…So that makes…Just when I think my family tree can't get any more confusing!" 

"Yeah it might get even more mixed up if when you hear what we found," Todd said. 

"Never mind Toad!" Wanda grabbed his ear. "You've blabbed enough." 

"Yeah Toad you have this gift of screwing things up with news nobody wants to hear!" Lance snapped. 

"Hey, Rogue should have told them a long time ago!" Todd snapped. "Ain't my fault she was keeping secrets about something important like that. It's not like I mentioned you and Willow now!"

"Can we just get on with the rescue or are we all gonna argue all night?" Kitty snapped. "Honestly! Boys!"

"Tell me about it," Wanda and Kitty walked off. The boys followed. 

Then Kitty stopped in her tracks. She looked at Lance. "Who's Willow?" 


	81. Who's In Charge Here?

**Who's In Charge Here? **

Meanwhile back in the castle Cobra Commander had finally gotten around to gloating to his captives. Magneto and Destro were giving each other looks that signified they were more than a little tired of his pompous behavior. "Finally you shall all bow before my greatness!" He laughed.

"The only thing great about you is your body odor," Althea snapped. 

"Watch your tongue you brat!" Cobra Commander hissed. "Nobody makes a fool out of me!"

"They don't have to," Althea said. "You do that so well all by yourself!" 

"Why you little freak!" Cobra Commander hissed. "When I get through with you…"

Magneto and the other mutants glared at him. "You'll be able to see the wisdom of mutants ruling the world," Cobra Commander covered quickly. 

"Since when are you interested in mutants ruling the world?" Roadblock snapped. "What, you decided that the competition was too tough?" 

"Cobra Commander just happens to be a mutant fool!" Magneto grinned.

However this announcement had an opposite effect on the Joes. All of them started to laugh. Even Althea. "Uh…what's so funny?" Bobby asked.

"You got me," Logan shrugged.

"Oh man that explains everything!" Low Light laughed.

"No wonder Cobra Commander's got it made!" Roadblock snickered. "Maggie boy you've just been played!" 

"So that's how old Snake Face was able to snow you!" Hawk laughed.

"Explain," Magneto hissed. 

"Uh ignore him," Cobra Commander waved. "Anything he says are nothing but lies! Just stuff in order to confuse you!" 

"Cobra Commander's no more a mutant than I am!" Hawk shouted. "He's not even a human on any level! He's actually from an ancient race that was the predecessors of humankind. They're still sore because humans evolved and took the planet away from them!" 

"What an imaginative story!" Cobra Commander said. "You're not gonna believe that tissue of lies are you?" 

"He may not but I do," Mastermind growled. He looked at Magneto. "He's telling the truth." 

"I should have known," Magneto growled.

"Uh…oh," Destro started to quietly move away.

"You lying little worm…" Magneto snarled.

"Lying is such a harsh word," Cobra Commander gulped. "I actually am slightly mutated due to a lab accident. I merely left out a few minor details about my genetic background." 

Magneto grabbed him. "Now wait a minute let's talk about this!" Cobra Commander gulped. "I mean let's face it, we both have a common agenda. We both hate humans! We both want to see them stomped flat! I mean surely we can work with that? What's the difference?"

"The difference Cobra Commander," Magneto said. "Is evolution. The time for your species is past. Mine is the future." 

"Don't you just hate it when he goes on and on about that subject?"

They turned to the voice behind them. Emma Frost stood there. "Emma Frost!" Destro said. 

"That's my name, don't wear it out," She smiled. 

"Hello Emma," Magneto said. "Good to see you again." 

"Sorry I wasn't here to greet you sooner," Emma told him. "But I had some business to attend to." 

"Indeed," Magneto growled, dropping Cobra Commander. 

"Yeah I had to pick up a few things," She grinned. "Oh by the way Cobra Commander, I have a proposition for you. I know Mystique is gone now but I am perfectly willing to work with you. I'll take care of Magneto if you agree to work with the Circle and myself on ruling the world."

"That is the most laughable proposal I have ever heard!" Magneto shouted. "Considering your current situation!" 

"Oh really?" Emma pushed a small button. Then the ground began to shake. "Maybe you should step back and take a better look at yours!" 

Bursting through the wall were two huge Sentinels. "Didn't we just go through this?" Roadblock groaned. 

"These things pop up more often than crabgrass," Scott muttered. 

"Did you really think I wouldn't be prepared for you breaking out of your little prison?" Emma told him. "Or that I wouldn't know when you did get out?"

"And did you really believe that you could stop me with these toys of Trask's!" Magneto stretched out his arms to use his powers. However nothing happened. "What?"

"I always preferred plastic myself," Emma grinned. "Don't bother calling for Sabertooth or the others. They're taking a little nap right about now. Sentinels…get him!" 

Magneto still put up a fight. He flew around using various metal objects to attack the Sentinels. Cobra Commander, Zanya and Destro watched from the sidelines. "This is interesting," Cobra Commander rubbed his hands. "If I let Magneto get clobbered I only have to worry about Frost. On the other hand if I prove my loyalty to Magneto I can take over Frost's position and use her for my experiments. On the other hand…" 

"You can't make up your mind who to screw first can you?" Zanya told him. 

"Not really no," Cobra commander admitted. 

"Let me make this easier for you," Destro told him. "Magneto: self obsessed dictator who wants to rule the world **alone and kill us all,** _or_ Emma, a self obsessed vixen who will pay us to **help** her rule the world?" 

"When you put it like that…" Cobra Commander said. 

"Let me handle this!" Zanya snapped as she pulled out Destro's Sonic Incapacitator and aimed it at Magneto. 

"Zanya…?" Magneto growled as he fell to his knees. "Why…?"

"For cash Magneto," Zanya told him. "I am a Dreadnok you know."

"Besides who do you **think **told me about you breaking out?" Emma grinned. "Money well spent I believe." 

Magneto passed out in pain. "Well that's that," Cobra Commander dusted off his hands. "I take it you can give Cobra more Sentinels?"

"Not yet but I can give you something just as good," She snapped her fingers. Two henchmen dragged Trask into the ruined lab. "Put him in the cells and take him to the lab! Make sure he's kept sedated!" 

"I can't believe I've been double crossed again!" Trask wailed as they threw him into one of the cells. 

"I can," Alpine said. 

"And now I'm stuck in a cell with a group of traitors and stinking mutants!" Trask snarled.

Logan sheathed his claws at Trask. "We ain't exactly thrilled about this situation either bub!" 

"Now that we have all that out of the way," Emma casually tossed her hair back. "Let's start working on giving the world some more mutants, as well as a tan shall we?" 


	82. Who Will Rescue the Rescuers?

**Who Will Rescue the Rescuers?**

"All right let's get this show on the road!" Emma said. "Fire up the Pulsar Cannon!" 

"Wait a minute!" Cobra Commander said. "I have a great idea!" He shouted to a subordinate. "Get the United Nations on the videophone!"

"What for?" Emma asked. 

"I'm going to blackmail the world into not setting off the Pulsar Cannon," Cobra Commander told her. "I mean they don't know its real purpose. I'll just tell them it will damage the Earth in some way."

"You mean you're going to extort money from the United Nations?" Emma asked. 

"Yes and if they do pay up we use it anyway!" Cobra Commander howled with delight. "This way we'll make a profit as well!" 

"That's utterly ruthless," Emma looked at him. "I like it. But I want a cut of the profits."

"Fine we'll have the twins work out the details," Cobra Commander waved. "What's more fun than gloating to your enemies in front of an audience who will pay you?" 

"You don't mind if I stay off camera do you?" Emma asked.

"Are you kidding?" Destro asked. "That just means more screen time for that egomaniac!" 

Already Cobra Commander was deciding how the camera setup should go. "Now after I do my turn and evil stare," He told his crew. "I want you to do a close up on my face. I say 'Citizens of the world…' Blah, Blah, Blah…When I say 'Behold the Power of the Pulsar Cannon!' Cut to the machine and give it one good blast. A short one just so they get the message. And then when I say…And in case you were hoping for GI Joe to save the day…That's when you cut to the cells below. Like that yeah. Let's have a little more light down there. I want the viewers to see how many Joes we have in the cells. Then cut back to me…"

"In other words the standard United Nations Speech?" The cameraman asked. 

"Bingo!" Cobra Commander went to his mark. "Places people! This is a live take! And three…two…one…" He turned around with his back to the camera. "Action!" 

After a second with his back to the camera he whirled around. "Greetings Citizens of the World," He hissed in his most menacing voice. "This is Cobra Commander the one and only Supreme Leader of Cobra. To the United Nations I have come with a report you might find interesting. It's about global warming. I'm afraid the forecast calls for some extremely high temperatures thanks to Cobra's new weapon! Behold the…"

Suddenly there was a huge earthquake and the sounds of several explosions. "Excuse me please," Cobra Commander grumbled. "I'll have to call you back." He shut off the videophone. "Okay what's going on **now**?" 

"It seems the remaining mutants have returned in order to rescue their companions," Emma Frost said. "Unfortunately for them they are in the wrong section of the castle." 

***********************************************************************

"Just how many tin cans did Trask make?" Lance groaned as he dodged the Sentinel blast.

"Trust Fuzzy to port us all to the wrong area!" Pietro snapped.

"How was I supposed to know that there were Sentinels here?" Kurt snapped as he dodged the beams. 

"Just shut up and run!" Pietro ran around. 

Kitty and Wanda managed to destroy one Sentinel by Kitty phasing through its legs and Wanda blasting it with hex bolts. "Don't worry!" Wanda snapped. "As usual it's up to the girls to kick butt and save the day!"

"You took the words right out of my mouth," Emma appeared before them. 

"Who the heck is she?" Todd asked. 

"I remember her!" Pietro said. "That's Emma Frost! She used to work with Magneto! What's she doing here?" 

"It's getting so you can't tell who's working with who without a scorecard!" Todd grumbled. "What does she do?" 

That's when Emma sent a telepathic blast at them. "I had to ask…" Todd grumbled as his world went black. 

The next thing he knew he was lying face down on something hard. "Did we win?" Todd moaned.

"What do you think?" Althea snapped. They were all in the cells with the others. Kurt, Kitty and Wanda had restraining collars on as well. 

"So much for waiting for the others to rescue us!" Ray grumbled. 

"Well here we all are," Scott grumbled. "Nice rescue guys!" 

"Oh shut up," Lance grumbled. 


	83. General Bragg's Big Surprise

**General Bragg's Big Surprise**

"Now where were we?" Cobra Commander decided to go back to the broadcast. 

"Sir! Incoming chopper!" One of his lackeys spoke before he could start again. 

"Oh for crying out loud," Cobra Commander went with Destro and Emma to the helicopter pad. "If it isn't one thing it's another!" 

"What's he doing here?" Destro's mouth fell open when he saw General Bragg arrive. 

"How should I know?" Cobra Commander snapped. "What is this? Visiting day? It seems like everybody and their grandma is showing up! For a place that is supposed to be deserted and remote we are getting a lot of traffic today!" 

"Okay I'm here!" General Bragg chomped on his cigar. "What is so dang blasted important that you called me out in the middle of vampire country?"

"I didn't call you," Cobra Commander told him. "Did anyone call him?" 

"Not me," Destro shook his head.

"Me either," Emma told him.

"Well somebody left me a message that I was needed here!" Bragg snarled.

"Oh wonderful," Destro groaned. "Now we have a prankster on the loose." 

"Well as long as you're here come on down to our cells," Cobra Commander waved. "I have a little surprise for you."

They walked down to the cells where the guards were slightly amused at listening to the inmates fight.

"I still say we should make a break for it!" Lance snapped. 

"Oh yeah and have all the guards shoot us even if we did get out of here?" Bobby said sarcastically. 

"Why don't you just bring down the entire castle Avalanche?" Jean snapped.

"That was uncalled for!" Lance glared. 

"Will all of you kids please be quiet?" Hawk snapped.

"That's the first sensible thing you have ever said," Bragg swaggered into the room.

"I knew it!" Hawk snarled. "I knew you were in league with Cobra! Traitor!"

"Look who's talking," Bragg snarled. "Stuck with all your mutie friends huh General? That's what happens when you side with mutants!" 

"Bragg they're going to use that Pulsar Cannon to create more mutants and wipe out humanity!" Trask yelled. "Even you can't be that low!" 

"Don't be so sure," Emma grinned. "Tell me Bragg, how would you like a key position in the New World order?"

"You can't be seriously considering this?" Trask yelled. 

"Why shouldn't I?" Bragg snapped. "It sounds pretty attractive to me!" 

"You can have a nice pleasant chat amongst yourselves," Cobra Commander said. "I have to go finish a phone call," He left the room with Emma and Destro. 

"Just when I thought you couldn't get any lower Bragg," Hawk hissed. "How could you turn your back on your country like this?"

"Because my country turned its back on me!" Bragg hissed. "For nearly all my life I have done nothing but served it and did I get the power and respect I deserved? No!" 

"Forget your country what about your species?" Trask snapped. "I thought you hated mutants?"

"I do, but if I can make money off 'em why not?" He shrugged. "I'm not getting any younger and that pension plan doesn't pay nearly enough as it should. At least with Cobra most of the mutants will be under control!" 

"You're even lower than the mutants and their allies," Trask snapped. "You'll sell out anybody for the right price! How a man like you got to be a general is beyond me!"

"Simple, he blackmailed a few people," Hawk told him. "Just like he blackmailed people to forget about his involvement in a lab he invested in."

"Really Hawk are you still harping on about that?" Bragg chuckled. "A bunch of homeless street trash freaks? They were better off in the lab. At least there they were useful!" 

"And you have the gall to call mutants monsters?" Jean gasped. 

"Most of them weren't even mutants," Low Light hissed. "Until those low lifes got a hold of them and fiddled around with their DNA!" 

"Yeah such a shame all those poor muties died," Bragg sneered. "You have no proof that the island even existed! What was its name again?"

"You bastard!" Low Light screamed, lunging at the cage. 

"Low Light don't!" Cover Girl shouted. 

Too late. Low Light touched the bars and an electric current shot through him. Bragg started to laugh. Until he noticed something. 

"Oh freaking hell," Bragg's cigar dropped out of his mouth. 

"No way!" Bobby's mouth dropped.

Low Light's body was glowing, as if he had become a sponge for the electricity. He had turned golden and glowed with a bright light. "Not all of them died Bragg," He snarled. "One survived…" 


	84. Release

**Once again I screw around with the Joe universe…Fun isn't it? **

**Release**

"No way!" Bobby gasped as Low Light absorbed the energy. 

"What's the matter Bragg?" Low Light howled at his shocked expression. "Don't you want to see how that experiment came out?" He absorbed so much energy from the force field it collapsed freeing half the team.

"SHOOT HIM!" Bragg whipped out his gun.

Instantly Low Light changed his body again to a stone-like substance. The bullets bounced harmlessly off him. "What the hell kind of power is that?" Logan gasped. 

"He can manipulate his body's atomic structure," Hawk explained. "Can change it to energy, stone, flesh, pretty much anything." 

"How come you didn't tell us?" Todd asked Althea.

"Don't look at me!" Althea told him. "This is new!" 

"I'll explain later!" Hawk said. "Let's get the others out!" 

"Hey wait a minute!" Lance blinked. "I don't have a restraining collar on! That means…" He started to focus on the wall.

"Lance no!" Scott shouted. "Don't use your…powers?" He blinked when Lance made a hole in the stone wall. 

"I got an upgrade," Lance said proudly. 

"That's using your head!" Hawk said. "Now Jean use yours to release those restraining collars!" 

She focused on them and released the others while the Joes dealt with the guards. Low Light had more pressing concerns. He returned to his normal state and raced after Bragg. "YOU CAN RUN! BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE BRAGG!" He screamed. 

"Oh goody," Pietro said. "Low Light's lost it." 

"Okay Logan you take a party to find Rogue and free her," Hawk said. "The rest of us will stop Cobra Commander and destroy the Pulsar Cannon! YO JOE!" 

Meanwhile back in the lab the Dreadnoks were playing poker. "Did you just hear something?" Buzzer asked.

"Ah it's just your stomach growling," Monkeywrench snapped as he looked at his cards. 

What they didn't realize was that it was the sound of Rogue waking up. "Ohhh…"

"That wasn't my stomach!" Buzzer said.

"Hey, she's waking up!" Ripper said. 

"Uh…we were supposed to keep them sedated weren't we?" Buzzer gulped. 

"It was your job!" Ripper snapped.

"No way!" Buzzer shouted. "It was Road Pigs!"

"Uh uh!" Road Pig snapped. "It was Donald's!" 

"I beg to differ," Road Pig spoke again. 

"What the heck?" Rogue saw herself strapped to a table. 

"Don't worry, she ain't going…" Monkeywrench gulped as she easily broke her bonds. "Nowhere?" 

"This is not good," Monkeywrench gulped.

"No it is not…" Magneto growled as he awoke. Immediately all the metal objects in the room started to fly around. 

"Oh dear," Road Pig spoke as Donald again. "Methinks gentlemen it's time that we hastily depart." 

"YEAH WHAT HE SAID!" Road Pig yelled. "RUN!" Which is what the Dreadnoks did. Rogue followed them screaming. They nearly ran over Bragg in their haste to escape. 

"What was that?" Bragg gulped. He saw Magneto emerge from a nearby room. "Oh crap! This joint is crawling with mutant maniacs!" 

"Well, well…" Magneto used his powers to grab Bragg by his medals and drag him to him. "What have we here? A general that uses mutants as guinea pigs? I think I'll deal with you first."

"TAKE A NUMBER!" Low Light growled as he stormed into the hallway, his body glowing. "HE'S MINE!" 

"You're a mutant?" Magneto asked. "A mutant who works for the government is no better than the X-Men! You're all traitors!" 

"You're not exactly on my list of favorite people either pal!" Low Light howled as his body changed again. "Try and use your powers on me now that my body's pure energy!" He charged at Magneto.

Magneto was forced to drop Bragg as Low Light tackled him. He screamed as he felt the energy coursing through his body. Bragg ran away in terror. Low Light looked and saw him escaping. "YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME BRAGG!" Low Light snarled. "I'LL HUNT YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH IF I HAVE TOO!"

"You will have to deal with me first!" Magneto sent some metal pieces flying at him. 

Low Light turned his body to granite the second before they hit. They bounced harmlessly off his body. He changed back. "Bring it on…" He hissed. 

Somehow the Dreadnoks managed to ditch Rogue. They hid in terror as she took out her frustration on any other Cobra soldier she found. "Oh look the Sheila's flying around now busting up the building," Monkeywrench gulped.

"Oh great!" Buzzer groaned. "They're both loose now!" 

"They ain't the only ones!" Zanya ran in. "Guess who else got out of their cells?" 

"I think we pretty much figured that out!" Road Pig snapped. "Who do we fight again?" 

"Yeah whose side are we on now?" Monkeywrench asked. 

"Our own!" Zanya snapped. "This is gonna be one ugly battle!" 


	85. The Battle For the Pulsar Cannon

**The Battle for the Pulsar Cannon**

It had all gone so well that speech Cobra Commander planned for the United Nations. He had just started the demonstration in order to inspire fear into the delegates. 

"Behold the power of the Pulsar Cannon!" Cobra Commander laughed as the cannon shot off a brief energy blast. "And don't expect GI Joe to come to the rescue! As you can see they are…." He looked at the monitor and saw the Joes, the X-Men and the Misfits thoroughly routing his soldiers. "We'll be right back. Due to technical difficulties this transmission is now over!" 

He turned to his men. "CAN'T ANYBODY KEEP THOSE FOOLS UNDER CONTROL?" Then there was a huge explosion and he saw the Joes and the mutants run into the room. "Apparently not." 

"Here we go," Roadblock shouted. "YO JOE!" 

"Commander I think its time for a strategic retreat," Destro said. 

"For once noble Destro you have the right idea!" Cobra Commander and Destro ran away leaving their lackeys to fight a doomed battle. However as they ran down the hallway they managed to run smack into a very ticked off Rogue. 

"Going somewhere boys?" She snarled as she prepared to beat the living daylights out of them.

However she didn't see Zanya sneak up behind her and blast her with the Sonic Incapacitatior. "Great timing Zanya," Destro commended her.

"Come on," Zanya stepped over Rogue's body. "I'll pilot you out of here."

"What about your Dreadnoks?" Destro asked her as they ran.

"They can fend for themselves," She said. "They can't screw everything up!" 

Meanwhile the Joes were just about to secure the Pulsar Cannon when something crashed into the room. That something turned out to be the bodies of Low Light and Magneto fighting. "Everybody back off!" Hawk told them. "Let Low Light handle this! Secure the Cannon!" 

"I don't think so!" Magneto roared as he threw Low Light off him into a crowd of Joes and X-Men. Then he used his powers to use all the metal objects in the room to tie keep them incapacitated. While Kitty and Kurt were freeing the others, Magneto went to the Pulsar Cannon and started to lift it up.

"I'll be taking this is if you don't mind," He said. "WHAT?" He saw Emma Frost shoot out from her hiding place and climb on the cannon. 

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Emma shouted. "NOT IF YOU DON'T HAVE A SOURCE OF POWER!" She grabbed the stone in the center that powered the machine. An enormous light bathed the entire room. She screamed and fell backwards.

Magneto growled and used his powers to open a hole in the roof of the castle. "STOP HIM!" Hawk shouted. "Use your weapons to destroy the cannon!" 

But Magneto had flown it too high for them to hit it. He did however his powers to weaken the support beams of the castle. "It's coming down!" Roadblock shouted. "Let's get out of town!" 

"THE CANNON'S GONE!" Pietro snapped. 

"Yeah and three guesses who took it!" Althea pointed as she saw a tiny speck fly off into the distance. 

"Magneto, great," Roadblock groaned. "Let's get out of here before its too late!" 

Everyone in the castle ran to make a break for it. "Let's go, go, go!" Hawk shouted. 

"I got Stripes!" Logan appeared carrying an unconscious Rogue. 

Jean then saw the Dreadnoks making a break for it. "I see a few rats that need to be taken care of!" She said flying over to them. 

"Oh great!" Buzzer gulped. "It's one of those X-Babies!" 

"This will cut her down to…" Jean easily knocked the weapon out of his hand. "Size?" 

"You are so busted," Jean grinned. 

Just then a falling rock knocked Jean from behind. She collapsed to the ground unconscious. "Well that was lucky," Buzzer said. 

"She's out cold," Ripper said. "Do we take her to Cobra Commander or do we just kill her now?"

"Nah," Monkeywrench sneered. "I just got a better idea. I've heard of this place that will pay top dollar for a pretty little freak like her. Why should Zanya make all the cash making decisions? Grab a restraining collar and let's go!" They took off with Jean. 

Needless to say the castle collapsed and was completely destroyed. "Bragg!" Low Light looked around in anger. "Where did that bastard run off too! He won't get away again!" 

"He got away," Roadblock placed his hand on his shoulder. "We'll get him another day! Come on, we gotta see if everyone's all right Low Light!" 

Reluctantly Low Light obeyed. They all went off to check up on the others and count the few Cobras they captured, unaware of what was happening back in what was left of the castle.

Underneath the rubble something stirred. A hand encased in a hard diamond like shell broke through. Emma crawled her way out of the rubble. Her entire body was covered in a diamond like skin. "Well isn't this interesting?" She mused as she looked herself over. "This might come in handy someday." 


	86. Regrouping

**Regrouping**

A few hours later everyone was still sorting out what was going on. "Are all our kids all right Low Light?" Roadblock asked.

"Yeah fine," Low Light said solemnly. "I need to take a walk." He stormed away fuming. 

"So what's the deal with Low Light?" Lance asked.

"Low Light was captured on a mission," Hawk sighed. "The Cobra Scientists discovered he had a dormant X-Gene. We managed to find Low Light and rescue him at Moreasseau but not before they awakened it." 

"He's been suppressing it all this time?" Althea blinked. "How come you never told us?"

"Because if we did there was a chance Bragg would have found out and killed Low Light too," Hawk told her. "He was just lucky that Shipwreck, Lifeline and I found him first." 

"Besides," Lifeline said as he walked up. "Low Light didn't want anyone to know. He's ashamed of what happened to him."

"General Hawk!" Alpine ran off. "We checked on what was left of the castle, we found what was left of the Cytorak gem." He held up a plastic bag. "Must have been destroyed after Frost grabbed it." 

"Okay let's review," Hawk sighed. "First the Cytorak stone that powered the Pulsar Cannon was destroyed."

"Good," Lance sighed.

"However before we did, it gave off one burst that may or may not have effected the sun," Hawk continued.

"Bad," Roadblock said.

"We did stop Cobra and put an end to their little alliance with Magneto," Hawk went on.

"Good," Pietro said.

"But Magneto got away with the Pulsar Cannon."

"Bad," Wanda frowned. "Very bad." 

"We rescued the hostages…"

"Very good," Althea said.

"But all the big shots got away! Including Trask, Magneto, Bragg, Frost and Cobra's top brass." 

"Not so good," Todd sighed. 

"So it's a tie?" Fred asked.

Then some of the X-Men ran up. "Jean's missing!" Scott cried. "We think she got captured by some of the Dreadnoks!" 

"Oh well in that case this was a successful mission!" Fred said cheerfully. "What?" 

**What has happened to Jean? What will Magneto do next? What will Cobra do next? Tune in to find out what happens and a little Jean bashing! You won't believe what my deranged mind has come up with next! **


	87. A Chat with Colonel Eddington

**A Chat with Colonel Eddington**

Back in General Bragg's office, Colonel Eddington was organizing some papers. Duke and Flint burst into the office. "Ah gentlemen," Eddington remarked. "I take it you don't have an appointment?"

"Cut the bull Eddington," Flint snapped. "We want your boss and we want him now?"

"Let me guess, this is in reference to his secret alliance with Cobra isn't it?" Eddington raised an eyebrow. "I'm afraid you won't find him here."

"Oh and pray tell where can we find him?" Flint asked.

"To be honest I haven't a clue," Eddington said. "And believe me I'd like to get my hands on him as well as you. I believe you gentlemen might find this interesting reading." He handed them the papers.

"What's this?" Duke asked.

"Proof," Eddington said simply. "Personal records, accounting books. It's all there. Including some of his blackmail ledgers."

"And you're just giving it to us?" Flint asked.

"Well it is evidence isn't it?" Eddington asked. 

"Are you serious?" Duke raised an eyebrow. 

"Of course I am," Eddington told him. "As soon as I realized what Bragg was doing I decided to do a bit of undercover work myself. These papers are all you need to convict him."

"And you're just giving us this out of the goodness of your heart?" Flint raised an eyebrow.

"I am a patriotic citizen," Eddington. "I know my duty to my country. I've already spoken to the proper authorities. I want this traitor captured and convicted as soon as possible. Well actually I'd like to see him get shot but I'll settle for life in prison if I have to." 

"We'll take a look at these," Duke said. "We'll get back to you."

They both left the office stunned. "Well he turned pretty quickly," Flint muttered. 

"A little too quickly. Something about Eddington just rubs me the wrong way," Duke said. 

"Yeah I have a feeling that Eddington isn't exactly the Boy Scout he claims to be," Flint nodded. 

"I dunno, maybe he's just saving his own hide by throwing Bragg to the wolves?" Duke shrugged. "Whatever the reason we finally have the proof we need to put Bragg away for a long time."

"Yeah now all we have to do is find him," Flint grumbled. 


	88. Hey Big Spender

**Warning: You are entering another insane chapter. Another one of my demented ideas that just had to get out. Yes I am evil. I admit it…**

**Hey Big Spender**

It had been 24 hours since the battle and still Jean was missing. The X-Men were staying with the Misfits at their house. Todd and Althea were talking in the kitchen when Shipwreck walked in. 

"Good news," Shipwreck told Althea. "We've found Jean."

"Already?" Althea said.

"Darn," Todd snapped his fingers. "So where is she?"

"With friends," Shipwreck looked a bit uncomfortable. 

"What friends?" Althea asked. "Spill it Pop!"

"Okay but don't blurt out the details to the others just yet," Shipwreck sighed. "Those idiot Dreadnoks tried to sell her off at the Double Helix Ranch out in Reno. She's okay, nothing happened. At least to her. The Dreadnoks well…"

"Wait!" Althea blurted. "**The **Double Helix? Are you kidding?" 

"No, so you can see why…Althea it's not funny!" Shipwreck admonished his laughing daughter. 

"The hell it isn't!" Althea laughed. "Jean at the Double Helix? Good god!"

"Well I can see your point," Shipwreck sighed. 

"What?" Todd asked. "What is it yo?"

"Let's just say it's no place for you until your bachelor party," Shipwreck told him.

"Say what?" Todd blinked. Althea whispered into his ear. Then he burst out laughing. "Oh man this is good! I can't wait to see Summers' face when he learns his girlfriend nearly got sold to a broth…."

"That's enough!" Shipwreck said sharply. "I don't think you should tell the X-Men about this no matter how funny it is."

"Fine with me," Althea smirked.

"My lips are sealed!" Todd snickered as they went into the living room. There were the assembled X-Men and Misfits along with Hawk, Roadblock and a general they didn't recognize. 

"Professor this is General Manx," Hawk introduced the well-built general with graying hair. "He's the one who contacted us." 

"How did you find her so quickly?" Xavier said. "Even without a machine like Cerebro?" 

"One of my business partners called me," General Manx told him. "She said that there was an offer for a mutant that matched the description of Miss Grey." He looked at Althea and Todd snickering in the corner. "She has standing orders to inform me of all these sorts of transactions. It's sort of like a sting operation for people trying to sell off mutants."

"What sort of business?" Xavier raised an eyebrow.

"It's…classified," Manx told him.  
"What some kind of experimentation?" Logan growled. At this Todd and Althea snickered again. 

"No nothing like that," Manx said. "It's…private."

"I'll bet," Todd snickered under his breath. 

"The important thing is she's okay and we thought we'd better let you know before we went to pick her up," Hawk said.

"I want to go!" Scott jumped up.

"No that's not a good idea," Hawk gulped. 

"Why not?" Althea said. "He might like it!"

Shipwreck jabbed her with his elbow. "Uh… He means it's kind of secret and classified and stuff so you really don't want to intrude on military secrets and…"

"Jean is my student!" Xavier snapped. "I want to go and see her!"

"I'm coming to!" Hank said. "The girl might need medical attention."

At this both Todd and Althea broke out into peals of laughter. They quickly ducked into the kitchen when everyone glared at them. Lance followed them. "Okay what is it with you two? What's so funny?"

"Should we tell him?" Todd asked giggling.

"Why not?" Althea said. "We're only not supposed to tell the X-Men remember?"

"Tell them what?" Lance asked. 

Twenty seconds later Lance's laughter could be heard from the kitchen. The ones in the living room turned and saw Lance stumble out giggling. "I'm sorry," He gasped. "Sorry to interrupt. Kids are being silly. Freddy you wanna come in here for a second please?"

"What for?" Fred asked.

"Just a little joke they told me," Lance sputtered, trying to hold the laughter in. "I think you might be interested in this." 

"Fine," Fred got up and went into the kitchen. "What's going on you guys?"

"Um," Hawk said. "As I was saying I can understand Hank and the Professor wanting to go and maybe Logan but I really don't think…"

"OH THAT IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD!" Fred's voice boomed out. He poked his head out of the kitchen. "Hey! Pietro come in here! You gotta hear this!" 

"Fine its Dullsville out here anyway," Pietro zipped in. "So what is it? What's the big joke?" He closed the kitchen door. 

"Where was I?" Hawk sighed. "Oh yes, due to the delicate nature I think it would be best if only the adults would come on this mission." 

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?" Pietro screamed. "THAT IS A RIOT! HAAHAHAHA! HEY WANDA GET IN HERE! BRING XI TOO!" 

"Oh for crying out loud," Wanda got up and Xi followed her. "WHAT?" She banged the door shut as they went in. 

Ten seconds later. "HAHAHAHAHA!" Wanda's laughter was heard everywhere. 

Xi looked at the Misfits laughing. "I don't get it." He said. 

"Let me explain," Pietro whispered in Xi's ear. 

Xi's eyes widened. "You're joking? They pay people to do that?"

The others nodded. "Okay but I still don't get it," Xi said.

"Get what?" Rogue stomped in. "You yahoos are making a ruckus that's loud enough to wake the dead!" 

"Nothing!" Todd, Althea, Lance, Wanda, Fred and Pietro said instantly. 

"It's something and I wanna know what it is?" Rogue snapped.

"The Dreadnoks tried to sell Jean to a brothel down in Reno," Xi said calmly. "Apparently it is a place where people buy…"

"I know what a brothel is Xi!" Rogue snapped. "You mean Jean's…?"

"She's okay, nothing happened," Althea giggled.

"Jean in a brothel…" Rogue blinked. 

"Yeah," Pietro snickered. 

"Miss Perfect…" Rogue blinked. "In a cat house?"

"Pietro make one remark about Kitty and your teeth go out the window!" Lance warned. 

"Oh please," Pietro waved. "It's good enough Jean ended up there!" 

"Yeah who'd have thought that the girl who turned me down for a soda would end up…?" Fred guffawed. 

"Don't say it!" Wanda giggled. 

"Oh that's awful," Rogue was trying not to giggle. "I mean it's terrible."

"You're right," Althea calmed down. "It's really bad."

"We shouldn't be making fun of her about this," Wanda said between snickers. "I mean that is pretty bad."

"You're right," Todd calmed down. "I mean nothing happened but still something could have…"

"It's not right to laugh at her," Rogue tried to be serious. "No matter how funny it is…" She started breaking up with laughter. 

"Yeah I mean can you picture Miss Perfect all dolled up in lace and…?" Lance laughed. "I mean think about it! It's nuts!" 

"Actually I think she's more like the dominatrix type," Pietro snickered. "Way she's got Summers' whipped she's had all sorts of practice." They all laughed. 

"I get it now!" Xi giggled. 

"I can't wait to see Summers' face when he finds out where he is!" Lance snickered.

"His face?" Pietro laughed. "What about Xavier when he learns that his prize pupil nearly joined the World's Oldest Profession?" At this they all laughed. 

Meanwhile back in the living room it was decided that Xavier, Hank, Cover Girl and Shipwreck would accompany Hawk and Manx to pick up Jean. "I've been there before," Shipwreck told them. 

"I want to go to!" Scott said. "I…I…"

"All right Scott you may come," Xavier said. 

"But…uh…" Shipwreck blinked. "Okay. It's your decision." 

"Wait a minute!" Fred and the others burst out of the kitchen. "I wanna go too!" Fred jumped up and down. "I wanna go too!" 

"Yeah fair is fair!" Lance said. "One of us should go as well. I nominate myself!" 

"You are not going anywhere!" Roadblock snapped. "Or do I have to kick your derrière?" 

"Oh let the older boys come," Shipwreck sighed. "We might need their help dragging the Dreadnoks back." 

"Fine but that's it!" Hawk groaned. "Let's go!"

"We'll watch the kids," Roadblock glared at the remaining Misfits. When they left the Misfits ran off with Rogue back to the kitchen. More laughter could be heard.

"Are they plotting something?" Logan asked.

"Not in this case," Roadblock sighed. "If Jean is where I think she is oh boy!" 

"What?" Ray asked. "Where is she?"

"Go play with the others," Roadblock turned him towards the kitchen. "Go on, git!" The kids muttered as Roadblock sent them on their way.

"Okay what's the big secret?" Logan asked.

"She's in Nevada. Near Reno," Roadblock told him. "You know that area's famous for two things."

"Yeah…?" Logan raised his eyebrow. "Let me guess, where she is doesn't have anything to do with gambling does it?"

"Bingo!"

"Oh boy," Logan groaned. "It's gonna be a loooooonnnggg night!" 

Back in the kitchen the X-Men were not happy. "All right you guys!" Kitty put her hands on her hips. "What's the big deal?" 

"You know where Jean is don't you?" Amara asked.

They all laughed. "We'll take that as a yes," Bobby groaned. "All right so where is she? In some kind of lab?"

"Nope!" Todd giggled. "Not even close!"

"But I bet a lot of people do a little experimentation," Pietro snickered. 

"O-kay," Bobby sighed realizing that he was going to have to play a demented guessing game. "Is she a prisoner of the army?"

"If she was I'd love to see those uniforms!" Todd laughed. 

"What is it? Some kind of circus where they force her to do tricks?" Bobby asked. A chorus of laughter answered this. 

"N…Not exactly," Althea giggled. "It's a ranch on the outskirts of Reno." 

"A ranch?" Kurt said. "What's so bad about that? That sounds kind of fun with all the horses and stuff."

"There aren't any horses at this kind of ranch," Wanda snickered.

"No, but I bet there are a lot of whips and harnesses!" Todd laughed. At this all the Misfits and Rogue fell to the floor laughing. The remaining X-Men looked at them like they had gone insane. 

************************************************************************

The plane ride to Reno was equally frustrating for Scott. "Just why did you two want to come so badly?" He snapped, irritated at their giggling and snickering.

"Just offering our moral support," Lance grinned.

"I'll bet," Scott grumbled. 

"Just what sort of illegal activities are going on in this place?" Xavier asked. 

"Actually what's going on isn't illegal," Hawk sighed. "At least on the outskirts of Reno in this particular county." 

"On the outskirts of…?" Xavier blinked. "Wait a minute…We're not talking about what I think we're talking about are we?" 

"What?" Scott asked. "What are we talking about?" 

"Oh no…" Hank blinked.

"Oh yeah," Shipwreck nodded.

"What?" Scott asked.

"And you're a partner in this?" Xavier asked Manx. 

"A partner in what?" Scott yelled. "What?" 

"Well my partner is a mutant after all," Manx shrugged. "It's a long story." 

"Oh my god," Xavier shook his head. "I don't believe this!" 

"Believe what?" Scott shouted, exasperated. "Will somebody please tell me what the hell is going on here?" 

"Uh…Scott," Xavier gulped. "Maybe we shouldn't have brought you on this trip?"

"WHY?" Scott shouted. "TELL ME!"

"I'll tell him!" Lance raised his hand excitedly. 

"NO!" Hawk, Cover Girl and Shipwreck said at the exact same time. 

"Scott…ummm…" Xavier looked very nervous. "I'm not quite sure how to put this."

"I do!" Fred called out. "Hey Summers! Fill in the blank time! What's the name of this movie: The Best Little…Blank….In Texas?" 

"The Best What?" Scott asked. "I never heard of it!"

"It figures," Lance sighed. "Okay I'll give you a hint, it rhymes with 'More Mouse'." 

"More mouse?" Scott blinked. "More mouse? What rhymes with more mouse except…" The wheels started spinning in his mind. "Oh no…"

"Oh yeah," Lance grinned. 

"You mean tried to sell Jean to a…to a…?" Scott gulped. 

"A brothel," Fred grinned. "A house of ill repute, a place of prostitution, a cat house, where the ladies of the evening rest their heads, a…"

"Okay Blob we get it!" Hank groaned. 

"So that's why you wanted to come on this trip!" Scott snapped. "You are disgusting!" 

"Me? I'm not the one whose girlfriend's just joined the world's oldest profession?" Lance snickered. 

"Nobody joined anything!" Hawk snapped. "Nothing happened to her! She's fine!"

"Yeah Summers maybe she might have picked up a thing or two," Lance snickered.

"WHY YOU…!" Scott rose to attack.

"CYCLOPS SIT DOWN!" Hawk shouted. "AVALANCHE! BLOB! THAT'S ENOUGH! BOTH OF YOU!" 

"Yeah if you keep this up you won't get to see what the inside of a brothel looks like so behave yourselves!" Shipwreck snapped. 

"This is not happening," Xavier moaned.

Not long after they ended up at the Double Helix Ranch. Actually it looked more like a mansion than a ranch. Calmly Manx pushed some buttons near the door. "It's like a security code," He explained. 

"Hello General," A tall woman with reddish skin, scales and black hair stood at the doorway. "Good to see you again." 

"Hello Marlena," Manx tipped his hat. "Gentlemen this is Madame Marlena. She's my partner in this uh…establishment." 

"And you are Charles Xavier," Marlena nodded. 

"You're a telepath," Xavier blinked.

"A handy skill in the World's Oldest Profession," Marlena smiled. "Helps keep out the…less tolerant as well. Come inside."

"Wow," Lance looked around at the lush, opulent surroundings. "What a place. It makes the X-Mansion look like a dump." 

"So this…establishment is run and staffed entirely by mutants?" Hank asked. Already they could see some mutants in beautiful clothes standing around, watching them.

"That's right. We use our powers to pleasure people, for the right price," Marlena said. "The number one rule is no touching allowed. However, we have been known to bend that rule on occasion. Right Shipwreck?" 

Shipwreck turned a bit red. He looked at the others. "Now I know what you all are thinking but it wasn't like that! Look it was just after my divorce and I was a little low and…" He stopped. "I don't need to tell you anything! Who are you to judge me?"

"Hey everybody! Shipwreck's back!" One mutant called out. Several female mutants came out twittering. "Hi Shipwreck!" 

"Hi ladies," Shipwreck waved weakly back. 

"I take it Althea doesn't know what happened here?" Lance snickered. 

"Well not everything," Shipwreck grumbled.

"About our allowances," Fred started to say.

"You don't get allowances!" Shipwreck snapped.

"We do now," Lance grinned. 

"I can't believe a place like this…exists," Scott looked around.

"You'd be surprised how many of the rich and famous are our clientele," Marlena told him. "Even a lot of senators and congressmen come here for a secret thrill." 

"That's disgusting!" Scott yelped. "I mean, I can't believe you people use your powers like this! It's degrading not just to you but to all mutants!" 

"Hey!" A green skinned woman sitting on one of the couches snapped. "Watch it kid! It's people like her that try and keep stuff like that happening with your girlfriend!"

"Calm down Kiki," Marlena said. "It's okay."

"Well I don't like people badmouthing you," She got up and strutted to them. "You have no idea how good this woman is! My own father tried to sell me off here years ago and she sent that rat packing! She took care of me for years and dozens of others as well." 

"And you stayed here?" Hank sounded shocked. 

"Wasn't like I had anywhere else to go," Kiki shrugged. "In case you haven't noticed honey, there aren't exactly too many opportunities for mutants out there. Especially if you look like I do! But the work's not so bad and occasionally I get to kick the butt of some jerk who wants to make some cash exploiting mutants." 

"But you can do a lot more good with your powers than just…." Xavier started to say.

"I don't have any powers!" Kiki snapped. "I'm just green! And as far as I'm concerned a hero ain't nothing but a sandwich. You don't like the way I live my life? Tough! It may not be the most respectable job in the world but I'll match my bank account with yours any day!" 

"I wouldn't be so sure in his case," Shipwreck said. 

"So uh…where's…" Scott gulped.

"Don't worry kiddo," Two cat-like mutants padded up to him. One resembled a tiger and the other resembled a panther. The tiger like mutant assuaged his fears. "Not a hair on her pretty head was harmed or touched. She's fine." 

"Unfortunately the same can't be said for the slime that brought her here," The panther mutant grinned. 

"There are male…uh…?" Hank gulped.

"Gigolos," The tiger like mutant said. "You can say the word."

"I guess there would be for female clients," Cover Girl said.

"Sometimes them too," The panther mutant grinned. He grinned at Hank. "Hey you're kind of cute." 

"Oh my stars and garters," Hank gulped. 

"Uh…I'd really like to see Jean now," Scott gulped.

"She's in the back," Marlena told him. "Belle's looking out for her. Kiki, show the boy back there please."

"Right this way," She made a grand gesture. Hank and Scott followed her while the others remained behind to talk to Marlena. 

"So what do you do around here?" Hank asked. "I mean if you have no powers…" 

"I'm a dancer," Kiki told them. "You ever see that 'Star Trek' episode where there's this green skinned woman who dances? You'd be surprised how many people wanna see that." She looked Hank over. "You'd do pretty good yourself. Could probably make Eleven hundred easy."

"Well as tempting as the prospect of eleven hundred dollars a night sounds…" Hank began.

"No, I mean an hour," She told him. "This way."

Hank stopped in his tracks. "AN HOUR?" 

"Hey Belle!" Kiki called out as she opened a door. "The kid's ride is here!" 

Inside the room was the largest, fattest woman Scott had ever seen in his life. She had a huge red hairdo and wore slightly more makeup than Tammy Fae Baker. Jean was sitting on a huge couch sipping some cocoa. She gave out a yelp of happiness when she saw Scott and rushed over to him. They embraced tightly.

"Scott!" She cried joyously. "Am I glad to see you!"

"Jean!" Scott asked. "Are you okay? They didn't hurt you did they?" 

"She's a bit shaken," Belle said. "But she'll be okay. Won't you honey?" 

"Yeah I'm fine," Jean said. "I didn't even know what was going on until I heard the Dreadnoks screaming for their mommies. They kept me knocked out the whole time." 

Just then Scott noticed that they weren't alone in the room. "What the?" He blinked when he saw that there were a few toddlers bouncing around in the back.

"This is where we keep the kids and watch over 'em," Kiki said. 

"Kids?" Hank walked in. "Here?"

"Hey even in the best run places there are bound to be accidents," Belle shrugged. 

"Hey guys did you know this place has it's own indoor water slide?" Fred walked in. "It's really cool in here!" 

"Belle?" Fred blinked.

"Freddy?" Belle squealed. "Well kiss my grits! It's little Freddy Dukes! Come here you silly boy!" She gave him a hug.

"You know each other?" Jean blinked.

"Belle and I used to be a part of the same circus," Fred told her. "I didn't know you were a mutant?"

"Same could be said for you!" She grinned. "Now how are you?" 

"Pretty good now," Fred puffed up. "I'm in the Army! Sort of."

"I always said you would make something of yourself," Belle said proudly. 

"This is the most surreal day of my life," Jean groaned. "No offense but can we go home now?" 

"I think that would be a good idea," Hank said. 

"Oh come on let's stay a minute," Fred asked. "I wanna catch up with Belle here! I haven't seen her in years." 

"Why not?" Hank sighed. The three of them left and found Xavier, Shipwreck and Lance outside the door. 

"All you all right Jean?" Xavier asked.

"Yeah I'm fine," She nodded. "Professor did you know they have children here?"

"Yes Madame Marlena and I were discussing when the children were older they could attend the Institute," Xavier said. "But I think we would be better off having this conversation elsewhere. Just in case some…clients are around." 

"Oh for crying out loud!" Shipwreck said. "Nobody who sees us here shouldn't be here themselves! Like they're gonna blab!" 

That was when another door creaked open. And a certain figure staggered out. "Hey Principal Kelly!" Lance snickered.

"That's Senator Kelly to you…oh god!" Kelly turned white. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" 

"I was gonna ask you the same thing," Lance laughed. "Boy it really is a small world isn't it?" 

"I'm gonna be blackmailed for this, I know it," Kelly groaned as he scurried away. He looked at the X-Men. "So this is where you find 'em! It figures," He grumbled and ran off.

"I am so embarrassed," Jean groaned.

"You are not the only one," Xavier sighed. 

Hours later they returned to the Misfit home. "I never want to talk about this day ever again!" Jean groaned. "All I want to do is take a nice long shower and…" She walked into the house. There were the remaining Misfits standing there with feather boas on their shoulders. 

"_Hey Big Spender!" _All the Misfits sang out. "_Spend a little time with me!" _

"You people are sick!" Jean shouted over their hoots and hollers. 

"_We are sick, we are sick, we are sick, sick, sick…" _The Misfits sang out as Jean ran upstairs. 

**Okay. That's enough of that! Let's get back to the story now! **


	89. Let's Get Back To The Plot Now Shall We?

**Let's Get Back to the Plot Now Shall We?**

While Jean was recovering from her recent humiliation, Hawk, Shipwreck, Roadblock, Hank and Xavier were discussing what to do next. 

"Well at least we have the information on Bragg we needed," Hawk sighed. "But we still don't know where Magneto is." 

"So all we have to do is find Magneto and stop him before he activates the pulsar cannon again," Shipwreck said. "Yeah that sounds pretty easy." 

"Well first he needs another Cytorak gem," Roadblock said. "Don't know where he's gonna get another one of them!"

"Yeah you can't exactly get them at Wal-Mart," Shipwreck said. "Where did he get them? Nobody knows!"

"I know," Xavier said.

"You?" Roadblock looked at him. "This is too good to be true!"

"I'm afraid so," Xavier nodded. "My half brother used them to enhance his DNA and awaken his X-Gene." 

"Please tell me there's a limited supply of these things," Hawk sighed. 

"Let's just say we'd better hurry," Xavier sighed. "I know where…" 

He was interrupted by loud shouts. Kurt teleported into the room. "Excuse me Professor, everyone," He said. "But I just found out something you have to know! It's about Rogue! Magneto is her father!"

"She finally told you huh?" Shipwreck asked.

"No but Toad did," Kurt said. "Wait, you knew about this too?"

"Uh yeah," Hawk gulped. "But right now we need to talk about other matters."

"I'm afraid I need to see to my students first," Xavier said. "And then we'll talk about why you people didn't tell me this information. Or the fact that you had another mutant among you!" 

"Here we go again!" Roadblock groaned. "More infighting with the X-Men!" 


	90. More Drama, Angst, and Explosions

**More Drama, Angst and Explosions**

At the same time many of the other mutants were sitting in the backyard wondering about the recent turn of events. "I can't believe that Low Light was a mutant all this time and he never even told us!" Fred said. 

"Yeah he wouldn't even talk about it during the flight," Amara said. "Kept saying 'Shut up and leave me alone'." 

"What is with him?" Kitty pouted. "I mean what's so bad about being a mutant? I mean he's had those powers for a while and he's never used them? What's with that?" 

"I don't think it's being a mutant that's bugging him," Lance said. "I think it's how he became a mutant that's really getting him. And I can't say I blame him." 

"What do you mean?" Bobby asked. 

"You wouldn't understand," Todd said. "When somebody does things to you, you know fiddling around with your DNA…It's like someone poisoned your soul. It's the worse feeling in the world. Like you're tainted." 

"That's the way you felt, didn't you Lance?" Kitty asked. 

"Yeah," Lance let out an involuntary shiver. "God only knows how long that guy was drugging me. Still gives me nightmares." 

"I didn't know," She said softly. 

"Hey guys let's go see what's over there," Althea said grabbing Todd's arm. 

"Hey we can take a hint ya know!" Todd snapped.

"Since when?" Althea quipped as she led the rest of them away, leaving Lance and Kitty alone. 

"Lance…" Kitty touched his arm. "You know you can talk to me about what happened with you, right?"

"I want to," Lance sighed. "It's just…right now it's too soon. I mean, there's a lot of stuff that I don't want to burden you with."

"Why not?" Kitty asked. "I want to help."

"I know it's just…" Lance sighed. "There's just so much baggage I have from my past. There are things that I'm not very proud of. Some of it is pretty hairy. I just don't want to…you know…let too many people know about it. Someday I can talk about it, but a lot of it I'm just not ready to talk about. Okay?" 

"I understand," Kitty said. "When you're ready you'll tell me." She hugged him.

"Thanks Kitty," Lance sighed as he hugged her back. 

"Oh yeah one more thing," Kitty asked. "Who's Willow?" 

"Uh…a friend?" Lance gulped.

"What kind of friend?" Kitty asked as she pulled away, her voice getting dangerous. 

************************************************************************

Low Light sat in his room on the bed. Cover Girl gently knocked on the door. "Do you want to talk?" She asked.

"Not really," He grumbled.

"You're going to have to you know," She sat next to him. "Sooner or later. Now that your secret's out. Were you afraid how we'd react to you? Is that why you didn't tell us?" 

"Yes…no…I don't know," He groaned. 

"You didn't have to be," Cover Girl told him. "We're your friends. We understand. More than anyone else would." Low Light put his head in his hands. "I'm sorry…I'm making you feel uncomfortable." 

"I'm just tired…" Low Light said softly. "Tired of fighting it. Tired of being afraid of it. Tired of being ashamed for letting it happen to me…"

"Why should you feel ashamed about that?" Cover Girl asked. 

"You don't know what they did to me," Low Light's voice shook. "What they almost did to me…I makes me shake just thinking about it…" 

He slumped into her embrace. She held him for a few minutes. "It wasn't your fault," She said gently into his ear.

"I know that…now," He sighed. 

"And you're still Low Light, no matter what they did to you," Cover Girl told him. 

"I know," He said softly. 

"And you're still a Joe and that means you're not alone," She told him, gently stroking his hair. "You didn't have to hide it from us."

"Yes I did," Low Light told her. "I couldn't take the chance of Bragg or anyone else finding out. Then I would have been…okay I was scared. I admit it." 

"Well I guess that proves you're only human after all," Cover Girl told him. 

"I don't feel human…" He whispered. "Ever since that day…I felt like some kind of…thing. Not even like an animal, just something so alien. So I buried it. I suppressed it with all the will I had." 

"Until now," Cover Girl said. "It must have been so hard for you to do what you did." 

"But at the same time it felt so good," He breathed. "I felt…free. You can't imagine it. It's like a terrible pressure inside that was building and building and building…just to let loose like that was…" He shuddered. 

"Listen to me," She removed his night vision goggles so she could see his eyes. "You don't have to hide anymore. It doesn't matter to any of us what you can do."

"Well it must matter somewhat," Low Light grumbled. "Why do you think Hawk really sent me here?" 

"He must have known you couldn't hide what you are forever," Cover Girl said. "And you're still a good man. Genetics doesn't change anything of who you are inside. I'm not saying you should just go all superpowers on us all the time. Just take your time. We're your friends. We're here for you. Got it?"

"Yeah," He nodded. "Yeah I got it."

"Feel better?" She asked.

"Actually…yeah, a little," He sighed. "Cover Girl I…" Just then the sounds of screaming could be heard. 

"They're at it again," Cover Girl sighed. They went downstairs. 

"Now what's going on?" Low Light snapped. Kitty was screaming at Lance in the living room. The other Misfits were watching casually. 

"Kitty found out about Willow," Pietro snickered. Then there were the sounds of shouts from the other room. "And now it sounds like all the other X-Men found out about Rogue's daddy being mine too." 

"Oh…Goody," Cover Girl sighed. They saw Lance and Kitty going at it before them. 

"I can't believe you!" Kitty snapped. "You slept with her didn't you?"

"That's none of your business!" Lance said hotly. 

"He did," Pietro said. "They were all over each other." 

"Will you stay out of this" Lance shouted at Pietro. 

"You are disgusting!" Kitty snapped. 

"Oh for crying out loud Kitty!" Lance snapped. "You're one to talk! You were with Colossus this whole time! What did you think I'd just close myself off from the world and never date again?"

"No but I didn't expect you to jump into bed with the first tramp who threw herself at you!" Kitty snapped.

"Willow is not a tramp!" Lance snapped. "She happens to be a very nice person who is very affectionate!" 

"Oh I'll bet she is!" She stomped away. 

"I can't believe you never told us Magneto was your father!" Scott shouted after Rogue. He, Kurt, Remy and Jean were following her. 

"Forget about you!" Kurt snapped. "She should have at least told me! I had to find out from Toad of all people!" 

"Well what was I supposed to say?" Rogue snapped. "Magneto created me for an experiment? It wasn't any of your business!" 

"What the hell do you mean it was none of our business?" Scott shouted. "If one of my team mates is related to one of our greatest enemies I want to know about it!" 

"That's all I am to you isn't it?" Rogue snapped. 

"That's not what I meant," Scott sighed.

"Well that's what it sounds like," Remy said. "Maybe Rogue just didn't feel she could trust you with it?"

"That is ridiculous!" Scott snapped. "Why wouldn't she trust us?" 

"Maybe its because you hurt her before," Remy said softly.

"That's insane!" Jean snapped. "Rouge's our friend! We'd never hurt her!" 

"You guys are so thick it's scary," Pietro said. "You don't even know about the crush Rogue had on you Summers!" 

"Shut up Pietro!" Rogue snapped.

"What are you talking about?" Scott asked. 

"Why do you think Roguey really left the Brotherhood?" Todd snapped. "Well other than the fact that her mom was a lying manipulative witch." 

"That's not true!" Scott snapped. He then looked at Rogue. "Is it?" 

Rogue glared at Pietro and Todd. "I swear I am gonna wring your scrawny little necks!" 

"You can't really mean to tell me that you never noticed Rogue staring at him?" Pietro asked Jean. 

"Yeah even I picked that up and I ain't the most observant person on the planet," Fred snickered. 

"I knew there was something," Jean said. "But I just thought it was…I don't know. Some kind of innocent friendship." 

"Wait, wait a minute! You were in love with me?" Scott blinked at Rogue.

"Maybe," Rogue sighed. "But that's history! You never had eyes for anyone but Jean the way you were always drooling over her! Especially when she was with Duncan!" 

"Oh god, am I never going to be forgiven for that disaster?" Jean groaned. 

"Jean come on, it doesn't take a telepath to see what kind of guy Duncan was!" Rogue snapped. "Look, whatever feelings I might have had for you are gone! Past tense! Got it! I got over you a long time ago Scott. Let's leave it at that!" 

"Forget him Chere," Remy hugged Rogue. "You with a real man now."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Scott snapped. 

"Just what you think it means!" Remy got into Scott's face. 

"You wanna take this outside?" Scott snapped.

"Gladly!" Remy agreed. Both boys left the room while Rogue and Jean squared off.

"I still don't see the big deal!" Rogue snapped. "Magneto's just another enemy as far as I'm concerned!" 

"But he's still your father," Jean said.

"Some father!" Rogue spat. "He was absent for most of my life!"

"Trust us, you were lucky," Pietro told her. Rogue stormed out with Jean following. 

Just then Kitty stormed in followed by Lance. "Kitty I'm just saying that it's hypocritical to judge my relationship with Willow!" 

"I never slept with Peter!" Kitty snapped. 

"It doesn't make a difference!" Lance snapped. 

"The hell it doesn't!" Kitty snapped. "What was so great about her that you just leapt into her bed huh?"

"You would have to see her to believe her," Pietro said. 

"What is she better looking than me?" Kitty snapped.

"Kitty that's like comparing apples and melons," Lance groaned.

"Melons?" She snarled.

"Oranges! I meant oranges!" Lance recovered.

"Actually in Willow's case it is more like melons," Pietro said. 

"Shut up Pietro!" Lance snapped. 

"Jean if you don't knock it off I'm gonna knock you into the next room!" Rogue's voice could be heard.

"I swear it's like watching Days of Our Lives," Kurt groaned as he shook his head. "You never know what's going to happen next!" 

The sounds of explosions from outside shook the house. "Actually around here that's pretty predictable," Althea said. "Looks like Cyclops and Gambit are at it. Who wants to go bet on 'em?"

"Yeah this fight's pretty predictable anyway," Todd said. They left and soon the sounds of all of them fighting could be heard. 

"Yeah track down an all powerful mutant with homicidal intentions with two teams of mutants who want to kill each other," Low Light grumbled. "Piece of cake." 


	91. The Temple of Cytorak

****

The Temple of Cytorak

"Well here we are in the jungle," Wanda grumbled as they trudged along with the X-Men. Roadblock, Spirit, Lifeline, Low Light and the Blind Master were with them as well. 

"Boy when they say see the world when you join the army they ain't kidding!" Fred sweated. 

"Being an X-Man isn't exactly dull either," Bobby grumbled. "I am so out of my element here!" 

"Not me!" Amara cheerfully walked in the jungle. "Feels like home." 

"I like it!" Todd snagged a huge insect. "Yummm! Crunchy!"

"I think I'm gonna be sick," Kitty groaned. 

"We're here," Xavier pointed to a huge temple inside a waterfall. It was covered on vines an ominous carvings. 

"Cozy place ain't it?" Lance quipped. 

"We must be careful," Xavier warned. "There are many traps inside."

"You take the X-Men in with the adults," The Blind Master said. "The Misfits and I will stay out here and be your backup. Just in case Magneto has some of his henchmen around."

"Good idea," Xavier nodded. Although the Misfits didn't think so.

"Okay why are we just standing out here?" Fred whined twenty minutes later.

"Patience," The Blind Master told him. "I have a feeling we must wait." 

"Wait?" Lance snapped. "For what? The X-Geeks are having all the fun inside while we're out here missing all the action!" 

"Well I'm not in a hurry to see Father again," Pietro sighed. "Although last time he ignored us."

"That's because we weren't important enough for his attention at the time," Wanda frowned. "He hasn't forgotten us, he's just waiting for the right moment so we can be useful to him."

"Oh that makes me feel much better," Pietro rolled his eyes. Just then they heard several explosions and the sounds of screaming. "What was that?" 

"AGGGHHH!" Bobby and Ray ran out of the temple screaming. 

"I think it's time for us to go to work," The Blind Master said.

"What happened to them?" Lance asked.

"Uh…THAT!" Todd screamed and pointed behind them. Following them was a huge rock statue that was storming towards them. Its eyes were glowing with some kind of red stones. Red stones that shot out beams of fire at them. 

"Run for it!" Pietro screamed as they all dodged the fire beams. 

"Wonderful," Lance groaned. "Just what we needed, a prehistoric Sentinel! Take this Rocky!" He used his tremors to trip it. Althea used the water to surround it. Pietro ran around it, engulfing the rock statue in water. Wanda hexed it so it shuddered violently. Althea let the water subside so that Fred could smash it into pieces. 

"Well that was fun," Fred flexed his muscles. 

"Why didn't you use your powers?" Althea asked.

"Gee why didn't we think of that?" Ray said sarcastically. "Maybe because **_THEY DIDN'T WORK ON THE STUPID THING!" _**

"Yeah it melted my ice!" Bobby said. "And rocks don't exactly conduct electricity well!" 

"Why didn't Summers try to blast it or something?" Fred asked.

"The others are busy with Magneto and the dragon," Bobby said.

"The what now?" Todd raised an eyebrow. 

"Come on!" Bobby led the way inside the temple. They ran inside and soon collided with the X-Men running from the opposite direction.

"Nice running into you," Scott quipped rubbing his head. 

"Great!" Althea said. "It's lucky we found you!"

"Uh…yes and no," Kurt gulped as he pointed behind them. They turned around and saw a huge grayish purple dragon with very large teeth. It nearly filled up the entire room. 

"Oh my…" Todd gulped. "Big isn't it?"

"Scatter!" Everyone did just as it shot out a breath of fire. It attacked and shook the mountain. It shot out a blast that caused several rocks loose where Todd and Kurt were standing. Kurt grabbed Todd and they teleported to somewhere else. They landed with a huge thump.

"Did we kill it or did it kill us?" Todd moaned. 

"Neither," Kurt pointed. "Look where we are!" They were inside a huge room filled with red glowing stones on shelves everywhere. 

"We found it! Man we hit the jackpot!" Todd said.

"You took the words right out of my mouth," Magneto loomed before them. 

"Uh oh…" Todd gulped. 

"Magneto!" Xavier called out just as everyone ran into the cavern. "Don't!" 

"I'll deal with you later," Magneto reached out for one of the stones. "Right now I need to collect what I came for." 

"Oh no you don't!" Todd reached out his tongue to grab it.

"Toad no!" Xavier screamed. "Don't touch it!"

"Why?" Todd held it in his hands. It started to vibrate. "Uh oh…"

"It'll mutate his DNA!" Hank shouted as a bright light illuminated from the stone. "He'll…what in the world?" Every stone in the room started to glow. 

That was when the stone turned into dust right in Todd's hands. "That's not good is it?" Todd blinked.

"I don't believe so," Hank gulped. 

Then every stone in the temple shattered. "Oops," Todd gulped, wiping the soot off of his face. He saw a very livid Magneto in front of him. "Did I do that?" 

"YOU USLESS, SLIMY LITTLE…" Magneto howled with rage.

"Okay we stopped Magneto," Todd gulped. "I think we must be going now!" 

Just then there was a terrible roar. "Oh great!" Scott moaned. "Just when things couldn't get any worse…" 

The dragon shot out a blast of fire at them. Scott used his eyes to blast at it while Lance used his powers to shake the room. "Stop that you fool you'll bring the whole place down!" Magneto snarled. He saw there were several old spears with metal points. "Just what I need." He used them to pierce the dragon's skin and killed it.

"NO!" Kitty shouted. "You didn't have to do that! It was just protecting the temple!"

"Are you nuts?" Pietro shouted. "Who's gonna protect us?" 

"Come on!" Lance shouted. "If we all gang up on him we can nail this creep once and for all!" 

"Another time," Magneto pulled out the spears and redirected them towards the teams. While Logan slashed at them with his claws and Jean used her telepathy to deflect them, Magneto made his escape. 

"He got away," Scott grumbled. 

"Well," Lance sighed. "At least Magneto can't use those rocks anymore." 

"How could Toad break an entire room full of mystical gems?" Kurt snapped. 

"Let's face it guys, he's a jinx," Bobby grumbled.

"I am not a jinx!" Todd snapped. "I'm a ninja!" 

"A ninja jinx," Kurt grumbled.

"Yeah," Todd nodded. "HEY!" 

"Could be the effect of Magneto's powers," Hank shrugged. "Some stones are affected by magnetism. I'm afraid we will never know since all the Cytorak gems are now gone forever." 

"Actually…" The Blind Master sighed. "That's not entirely true…"

"Oh no!" Lance groaned. "Where is it this time? The Arctic? Africa? The Moon? Where?"

"I'm afraid it's not that simple," The Blind Master said. "Do you remember Masaru?" 

"Let's see, the traitor who nearly killed us?" Todd said sarcastically. "That rings a bell." 

"Well years ago he was given a rare artifact that was carved from one of the Cytorak Gems," The Blind Master said. "Stormshadow informed me that Masaru looted the temple of his ancestors just before he was killed. He gave most of them to a certain enemy of ours." 

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Althea asked.

"I'm afraid so," The Blind Master sighed. "The last Gem of Cytorak is in the hands of Cobra." 

"Oh…Goody," Todd groaned. 


	92. Cobra Commander's Terrible, Horrible, Ve...

**Cobra Commander's Terrible, Horrible, Very Bad Day**

"What do you mean we're out of laser cannons?" Cobra Commander screamed. As soon as he escaped from the disaster at the castle, it had been one thing after another.

"We just are sir," The aide gulped. "You didn't …I mean the impostor didn't get around to reordering new ones and the old ones fell apart and…"

"Never mind!" Cobra Commander snapped. "Great! Just great! First I nearly get killed at that castle, then when I get back I find my headquarters falling apart at the seams!"

"My lab is utterly destroyed," Mindbender groaned. "Those mutant officers trashed it before they escaped. Now all my projects will be set back for months! Years even!"

"Sir! We have a situation!" A guard ran up to him. "Its about the mutant Mystique!" 

"Let me guess," Cobra Commander sighed. "Mystique escaped didn't she?" 

"Uh…yeah," The guard gulped. 

"AGGGGHHH!" He kicked the wall and screamed in pain. Hopping around on one foot he shouted. "CAN'T ANYTHING GO RIGHT IN THIS BASE?" 

Another alarm went off. "Uh sir," The voice came over. "We have a slight fire in the cafeteria…"

"WHO DO I LOOK LIKE? THE FIRE DEPARTMENT? PUT IT OUT YOU MORON!" He shouted. "What else can go wrong? That's it! No more mutants! You hear me! No more!" 

That was when the room started to shake. All the metal began to shudder. "Uh…oh," Cobra Commander gulped. He turned around and saw Magneto enter the room with some of his lackeys. "Magneto…my dear friend. What brings you here?"

Magneto grabbed him. "You have something I want Cobra Commander," Magneto hissed. "I believe it's time we renewed our little partnership! With some slight modifications. Meaning I take over everything!" 

"Oh boy," Cobra Commander gulped. "When it rains, it pours." 


	93. Mama Told Me There'd Be Days like This

**Mama Told Me There'd Be Days Like This**

Back in the jungle the teams were resting outside the temple. "Some mission this has turned out to be," Bobby groaned as he sat on the ground. "It was supposed to be a simple fact finding mission! It turned into something out of Lord of the Rings!" 

"Yeah and why do I have the feeling we're headed straight for Mt. Doom?" Ray groaned. 

"Speaking of doom," Todd sighed. "Check out Lance's latest pathetic attempt to win Kitty's love!" 

Lance was carrying a medium sized multi-colored rock. "Check it out Kitty!" He said. "I found this in the temple! I think it's some kind of gem or something!"

"Yeah it's nice, so?" Kitty looked at him.

"Look I want to make it up to you," He offered the rock to her and handed it to her. "Think of it as a peace offering." 

"Oh he has got to be kidding!" Todd groaned.

"Dead man walking," Scott sighed. 

"A rock?" Kitty looked at him. "You think that you can just make things right again by giving me a stupid rock?" 

"It's like watching a train wreck," Remy said. "You want to look away but you can't." 

"Well it's a pretty rock," Lance said sheepishly. "Look at all the colors! And it's shaped like an egg! Think of it as a memento of our adventure!"

"Oh yeah Lance I'm sure she wants to always cherish the day she was nearly killed by a rock monster and burned to a crisp by a dragon," Pietro quipped. 

"Shut up Pietro!" Lance snapped. 

"I'm pretty happy about this," Peter chuckled. 

Just then the 'rock' started to crack. "Call me crazy, but I don't think that's a rock," Fred said.

"Okay Crazy, I think you're right," Pietro quipped. 

Just then the egg cracked open. Out poked the head of a tiny grayish purple dragon with massive jaws. "That's a dragon egg you idiot!" Scott snapped. 

"Uh…that was a dragon egg actually," Kurt gulped. "Now it's a dragon." 

"Mah-ma?" The little creature blinked at Kitty. 

"Man Lance when your plans backfire, they backfire big time!" Althea groaned. 

"Oops," Lance gulped. 

"A dragon?" Kitty yelled. "It's like…it's…it's so…_Cute!" _

"What?" Nearly everyone yelled. 

"Well it is," Kitty held it up out of it's egg. "It reminds me of my old stuffed dragon I used to have. Aww…look at its wings!"

"Look at its teeth!" Kurt gulped as it yawned.

"Can I keep it?" Kitty held it up to Xavier. "Pleeeeeassee!" 

"Are you out of your mind?" Scott yelped. 

"Scott we can't like leave it here!" Kitty told him. "It's an orphan. We did kind of have a part in its mom getting killed. Besides I think dragons gotta be some kind of endangered species at least. It wouldn't be right to just leave it here to die!" 

"Yeah but we can't just bring it back to the mansion either!" Scott told her. "I mean you saw how huge that other dragon was! It would never fit in the mansion!" 

"Actually this species of dragon doesn't really get big for at least fifty years," Lifeline told Xavier. "So it should be fine." 

"Okay is anyone else creeped out that the Joes know stuff about dragons or is it just me?" Ray moaned. 

"You'd be amazed at the stuff we've seen over the years," Roadblock told him. 

"Professor please!" Kitty pleaded. "It's all alone in the world."

"Uh Kitty…" Xavier tried to speak up.

"I think it would be fascinating to study it," Hank said.

"You are not going to stick my dragon with tons of needles!" Kitty held it away from him.

"I will do no such thing!" Hank protested. 

"Uh…it doesn't eat people does it?" Ray gulped.

"Not unless it's trained to," Lifeline said. 

"It is kind of cute," Amara tickled it's chin. 

"Yeah we already have a 'demon' and a 'Bigfoot' at the mansion," Bobby shrugged. "What's a little dragon?" 

"She should have a pet just like any other normal kid," The Blind Master told him. 

"I'll call it Lockheed," Kitty said happily. "You are so precious Lockheed! Yes you are! Yes you are! Who's mommy's little angel?" 

"Oh yeah," Jean groaned. "A pet dragon at the mansion. Yeah that's normal!" 

"I still don't know…" Scott said.

"Keep it Kitty!" Lance said. "It's a great pet. Hi there little guy!"

When Lance tried to pet it, Lockheed snapped at him. "OWCH!"

"Well it doesn't like Avalanche," Peter snickered. "That proves it has good taste."

"I'm liking it already," Scott snickered. 

"Hey!" Lance snapped. "Is that any way to talk to your father?" 

"Look I don't think we should…" Xavier tried to say. 

"All those in favor of keeping Lockheed say Aye!" Kurt said. Nearly all the X-Men said Aye. 

"It is kinda cute," Rogue admitted grinning as Lockheed wagged it's long tail. 

"I am telling you this right now, I am not going to take that thing for walkies!" Logan snapped.

"Why me God?" Xavier groaned. "Why?" 


	94. Spill It Slimeball

**Spill It, Slimeball**

"For the last time boys we can do this the easy way or the hard way," General Hawk glared at the Dreadnoks. They were in the hospital ward of a nearby prison. "Tell us where Cobra's headquarters are!"

"We ain't saying nothing!" Torch snapped. His right leg was in a cast and his left arm was bandaged. 

"Yeah you don't scare us," Buzzer snarled. Both his arms were broken. "We know how soft you Joeys are!" 

"Yeah what they said!" Ripper was practically bandaged from head to toe.

"I believe General that in this country we are innocent until proven guilty," Road Pig said. His head was bandaged and his nose was broken. He also had a cast on his right arm. "In accordance with jurist prudence…" 

"What he's saying is that we don't have to tell you geeks nothing!" Monkeywrench snarled. His left leg was broken and his chest was heavily bandaged. "You can't do nothin' to us!"

"Oh we weren't planning on doing anything to you," Hawk grinned as he folded his arms. "**_She_** however is another story!" 

"Hello boys," Jean walked in with a very cold look on her face. "Nice to see you again!"

"YOU!" They screamed.

"Yeah seemed she's a bit miffed at your little idea of selling her off to a brothel," Hawk grinned, clearly enjoying himself. "She'd like to have a little closure if you know what I mean?" 

"What?" Torch gulped. "She gonna use her mind reading powers on us?"

"Close," Jean growled. "But no cigar." Immediately things started flying around the room and whacking the Dreadnoks on the head. 

"Ow! No! Please! Stop it!" They screamed as they were attacked. 

"I think not," Jean said as she kept whacking them. 

"The coordinates! Now!" Hawk snapped.

"No way!" Torch shouted. That's when Jean started levitating the bed. "Well maybe I should rephrase that!" 

"Start talking Slimeball!" Hawk snapped. "Before she decided to pull a few more scenes from the Exorcist!" 

"STOP THIS AT ONCE!" A nurse stormed in. "These men are still our patients! Get out of here now! Orderlies!" She waved them out and several orderlies in. 

"Wait a minute," Hawk looked at one of them. "Ain't she a little short to be an orderly."

"Tall enough to do this!" She threw a smoke bomb at them. The smoke obscured their view. 

"Good work Zanya!" Zartan whipped off his disguise. "Zandar! Zarana! You Vipers secure the Dreadnoks!" 

"Hey you can't tell us what to do anymore!" Zandar huffed as he whipped out his pistol. 

"Fine get those losers out of here!" Zanya snapped.

"Gotcha!" Zandar said as he threw a grenade and blew up the wall. 

Running out of the smoke filled building, Zanya, her family and the Vipers were dragging the wounded Dreadnoks out of the hospital. "I should have known not to leave you morons alone," Zanya growled. "Come on!" She grabbed Torch by the ear and dragged him out.

"OWWW! HEY I'M A WOUNDED MAN HERE!" Torch whined.

"Suck it up and walk it off you big baby!" Zarana snapped. 

"Maybe we were better off where we were," Buzzer gulped.

************************************************************************

"They got away," Lady Jaye told General Hawk.

"Good," Hawk grinned. "Are those homing signals working?"

"You got it General," Dial Tone said. "That was a brilliant idea, sneaking 'em in their casts when they were unconscious. They'll lead us right to the Snake Central!"

"Prepare to move out," Hawk nodded to the Misfits.

"X-Men let's roll!" Logan shouted. 

**Next: The mission takes a drastic turn when Magneto enters the scene! **


	95. Captured Again?

**Captured Again?!**

Some time later…

"Okay," Althea groaned. "How did we end up in this mess?"

"Well let's see," Todd sighed. "General Hawk decided to split us all up. He had the X-Geeks chase after the Dreadnoks while we went on a solo mission to check out this other lead."

"Yeah it seemed like Sabertooth was hanging around the docks in Miami for some reason," Lance grumbled. 

"There was a reason," Fred sighed. "It was to trap the X-Geeks in a warehouse, but we were the idiots who got trapped instead!" He, Lance, Althea and Todd were chained to a wall. Fred had on a restraining collar to dampen his strength. 

"Stupid gas," Lance grumbled.

"Sorry man," Fred apologized. "I had beans with lunch and…"

"Not you!" Lance snapped. "The knock out gas!"

"I wonder what happened to Pietro, Wanda and Xi?" Todd blinked. 

"Fat chance, I think I overheard one of the guards saying that the Twins were sent to see Magneto. I am really starting to get sick of this!" Althea groaned. 

"You're not the only one!" Cobra Commander grumbled. He and Destro were hung upside down on the opposite wall.

"I don't know what you're complaining about," Destro muttered. "At least you brats are right side up!" 

"So Magneto took over Cobra again huh?" Todd asked.

"Figure that out all by yourself?" Cobra Commander snapped. 

***********************************************************************

"Can you move your hands at all?" Pietro asked his sister. They were both snapped in chairs and restrained tightly. 

"No," She grumbled, struggling. 

"And you won't be able to leave," A familiar voice boomed. They looked and saw Mastermind and Magneto walk towards them.

"This is not good," Pietro gulped. 

"Hello Wanda…Pietro," Magneto spoke. "It's time we had a talk." 


	96. Magneto's New Plan

**I apologize if that last chapter seemed a little too short. I had a little trouble figuring how Magneto should capture the Misfits. Hey you try writing a hundred chapter fic sometime! I've been writing this thing since August and my brain is going into overload! Well only a handful of chapters to go! And here's one of them!**

**Magneto's New Plan**

It took all Pietro's will not to shake in front of Magneto. "What do you want with us…Father?"

Wanda however had no such fears. "Probably planning to finish us off personally!"

"That's not true," Magneto said.

"That's a pretty good guess," Pietro said. "The last time we spoke you tried to kill us!"

"I admit I was under a lot of strain at the time," Magneto sighed. "But I have been…thinking quite a bit. Let's just say there was an incident that happened which forced me to reflect on what I put you through. Especially you Wanda. I should have not simply locked you away in hopes that someone else would help you. I should have made time and attended to you personally."

"Well maybe if you hadn't used us as guinea pigs in your experiments in the first place I wouldn't have been so angry with you?" Wanda growled. "Did you ever think of that?" 

"I was merely trying to help you," Magneto said. "To make you both stronger."

"Save it," Pietro said. "All you ever wanted was perfect soldiers for your demented quest for world domination. All we ever were to you were pawns you could use to your advantage. I know that now. I just wish it didn't take me this long to realize it." 

"We've all made mistakes Pietro," Magneto said.

"The only mistake we made was by staying with you for so long!" Wanda snapped. "We should have gotten rid of you long ago!" 

"I must admit I am severely disappointed in you," Magneto growled. "But it's nothing that can't be fixed once Mastermind is finished with you." 

"Are you nuts?" Pietro tried to hide his panic. "That didn't work the first time! What makes you think that it will work again!"

Wanda glared at him, not wanting to give him any satisfaction no matter how frightened she was. "It doesn't matter how many times you mess with our minds," She snarled. "You'll never make up for what you did to us! You'll never be anything more than a monster!"

"Well then I suppose it's up to Mastermind to change that," Magneto said. 

"I think I'd better take care of something first," Mastermind told him. "It seems that Cortez and Sabertooth are having a disagreement again. Something about candy or something. I'd better see to them before they destroy the building." 

"Very well," Magneto sighed. "I'll keep these two company." Mastermind left. 

"What are you going to do to the others?" Pietro asked. "Wipe their minds too? Don't you think you've hurt them enough?" 

"Quicksilver I haven't even begun to…" Magneto spoke when he saw Sabertooth and Cortez walk in from the other direction. "What are you doing here? Where's Mastermind?" 

"How should we know?" Sabertooth snapped. 

"He just went after you!" Magneto snapped.   
"What are you talking about?" Cortez asked.

"Mastermind said that you two were fighting!" Magneto snapped.

"We were not!" Sabertooth snapped. 

Meanwhile Wanda felt one of her bonds start to loosen. "Keep still," The familiar voice of Xi floated in her ear. "I think I can get you loose." 

Wanda said nothing. She couldn't see Xi, but she knew he was right next to her, invisible. 

"I just sent Mastermind to stop you fools from bickering about something!" Magneto snapped. "He said…Sabertooth? What are you doing?" 

"We got company," Sabertooth sniffed. He started to run towards Wanda. 

"Hurry!" Wanda shouted. Xi managed to loosen one of her hands just before Sabertooth swiped at him. Xi could not dodge it in time and fell to the ground, becoming visible again. 

"It's that sexless freak!" Sabertooth snapped as he charged at Xi. Xi managed to move out of his way.

"Who are **you** calling a freak?" Xi snarled. 

Sabertooth charged again only to be thrown by a hexbolt. Wanda started freeing her bonds with her free hand only to be knocked unconscious by a hard hit from Cortez. "You lousy…" Pietro strained against his bonds. "Keep you mitts off my sister!" 

"Enough!" Magneto snapped as he used his powers on some nearby metal objects to restrain Xi. "It seems Cobra is much more advanced in its genetics than I thought. We'll see what Mastermind can do with it." 

"Magneto!" Pyro ran in. "Mastermind's been knocked out! What happened here?" 

"Never mind that!" Magneto snarled. "What happened?"

"I was just hanging around and wandering when I found Mastermind hiding in a closet," Pyro told him. "He's been drugged up pretty good. He's been out for who knows how long!"

"That's impossible!" Magneto snapped. "He just…wait a minute! The cannon! Watch them!" He floated towards it in a nearby room. A loud scream of anger could be heard.

"That's not good," Pyro gulped. 

"THAT INFURIATING WOMAN!" Magneto came back with a note in his hands. He threw it on the ground. Pyro picked it up and read it. 

_Magneto-_

As much as I'd love for you to use this, I'm afraid I can't. You've ruined my life once too often so now it's time for me to start ruining yours. 

Mystique

"When I get my hands on that shape shifting traitor," Magneto growled. 

"She's still in the building somewhere," Sabertooth growled. "She couldn't have gotten far! I'll track her down!" 

"Do that," Magneto growled as he left. "I am surrounded by incompetents and traitors!" 

"You get what you deserve!" Pietro snapped. 

"Obviously time with those humans has not improved your manners," Magneto growled. "Cortez, Pyro! Take this…thing to the lab. And make sure it's secured!" They dragged Xi away. 

"At least you won't be able to use the cannon!" Pietro snapped. 

"I only need the stone to work on the sun," Magneto told him. "It still has potential to do damage without it. Perhaps this is a good time to test its other capabilities?" 

"What do you mean?" Pietro felt a cold pit in his stomach. 

"I'll simply use it to destroy a few objects," Magneto told them. "Starting with the Pit!" 


	97. We Gotta Get Out of This Place

**We Gotta Get Out of This Place**

Back in the cell things were not looking well. "I can barely move," Fred moaned. "This thing they've got on me is draining my strength, literally."

"Of all the times for a Cobra gadget to work…" Destro muttered. 

"Okay we need a plan!" Cobra Commander said. "Anybody got one?"

"I think we've hung around here long enough," Althea said. 

"That is not very funny," Cobra Commander growled. 

"Well it looks like it's up to us ninjas to save the day!" Todd said.

"Oh for crying out loud Toad not is not the time to…" Lance was about to snap some more at Todd but then he noticed that Todd easily slid out of his chains. _"How did you do that?" _

"You mean this?" Althea slid out of her chains. "Let's get the others loose Toad!" 

"How?" Lance gasped. 

"An old ninja trick," Todd grinned as he started freeing the others. 

"I don't believe it," Lance blinked. "He really is a ninja!" 

"Told ya," Todd said as he managed to remove Fred's restraining collar. "Feel better pal?" 

"Thanks buddy," Fred flexed his muscles and rubbed his neck. "That was really starting to chafe!" 

"So how do we unlock the door?" Lance asked as he was let loose.

"Who needs a door?" Fred asked as he simply punched a hole in the wall. The Misfits fled to find their missing friends. 

"Uh hello…?" Cobra Commander called out.

"Excuse me?" Destro snapped. "There are two upside down prisoners in here!"

"Well then it's time we had a talk," Zanya walked in with her father, aunt and uncle.

"Where have you been?" Cobra Commander snapped. "Get us down from here!" 

"I think we should first negotiate a pay raise first," Zartan snickered.

"Later Dad," Zanya said freeing them. "First we take back Cobra then we'll talk about a pay hike!" 

************************************************************************

"Hey Cortez," Pyro asked as he dragged Xi down to the lab. "When do you think we'll get paid?"

"Shut up you moron," Cortez snapped. "Its payment enough to work for a leader as glorious as Magneto!"

"Oh stop being such a boot licking jackass and help me here!" Pyro snapped. 

"How about this?" Todd appeared and knocked him out with one kick. Lance had snuck up behind Cortez and knocked him out with a single punch. 

"You okay Xi?" Fred used his strength to free Xi.

"Yes, but Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch are prisoners still," Xi told them. "I was trying to free them when I got captured!"

"Do you know the way back?" Althea asked.

"Follow me," Xi led the way. 

************************************************************************

"So how do you propose we take back Cobra from Magneto?" Destro asked as they walked on a long catwalk overlooking several strange engines. 

"Mindbender's got a little surprise cooked up in his lab," Zarana told him. "He and the Baroness are getting it ready!"

"The Twins are rallying the Crimson Guard as we speak," Zartan said.

"Excellent," Cobra Commander said. "Maybe something will go right for a change!" 

Just then Mystique ran onto the catwalk. She was carrying some thing wrapped in a bundle. She nearly bumped into Zartan. "Out of my way!" She spat.

"Mystique? Where are ya you witch?" Sabertooth's voice could be heard. "Bring back that rock right now!" 

"She's right here!" Zartan wrestled the stone away from her. 

"You lousy…" Mystique grabbed it back. They both tugged on it until it slipped from both of their grasps. It fell into one of the generators causing an explosion. They hung on the railing for dear life. 

"Look what you did!" They shouted at each other.

"There you are!" Sabertooth snarled. 

"You'll all pay for this!" Mystique snapped just before she shapeshifted into a bird and flew off.

"She got away," Sabertooth snarled. "So I guess I'll just have to take it out on you clowns!" 

"Not so fast!" The Baroness appeared with the Crimson Twins and several Cobra squads. They started firing at Sabertooth.

"This is not good," Sabertooth turned and ran. 

"Cobra forces!" Cobra Commander shouted. "Exterminate any mutant you find!"

"Ahem!" Zanya coughed loudly.

"Let me rephrase that," Cobra Commander said. "Exterminate any mutant you find that's not currently working for Cobra!"

"That's better," Zanya said as they headed for the control room. 

************************************************************************

Meanwhile Magneto had just discovered that there were Cobras running around loose. While he was distracted, The Misfits found the twins and secretly set them free. Unfortunately Magneto wasn't distracted for long. "YOU?" He shouted.

"Scatter!" Althea shouted. The Misfits ran down the corridors until they ran smack into a huge room with a very familiar object. "The Pulsar Cannon!" 

"We found it yo!" Todd said.

"Yes and thank you very much for doing so," Destro said as he and the other Cobras ran in with their weapons drawn. "We'll take control of that!"

"I don't think a man with your choice of headgear is in a position to control anything!" Magneto thundered as he came in with a full force of mutants behind him. He used his powers to knock Destro into the wall. The Cobra soldiers (Who had the foresight to use plastic weapons) shot at the mutants. Soon the Misfits found themselves in the middle of a battle, fighting both Cobras and mutants. 

"Some easy mission this turned out to be!" Todd grumbled as he slimed a Cobra. 

"Oh this is getting better," Lance grumbled. "Cobra on one side, Magneto and his goons on the other. This can't get any worse!" 

"**_NERRRRRROOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWWW!" _**

"Uh…what was that?" Todd gulped. Everyone in the room stopped fighting at the exact same time. A terrible slurping noise was heard. Oozing into the room was a huge gray blob with several eyes. Eyes that started shooting out red optic beams at everything in its path.

"Uh…I think it just got worse," Fred gulped. 

"What the heck is that thing?" Pietro yelled. The mindless beast started tearing into the battle. 

"I don't know and I don't care!" Wanda shouted. "Let's get out of here!" 

"No!" Althea grabbed a weapon from a fallen Cobra. "We have a mission to complete! We have to destroy the Pulsar Cannon!" 

"If we don't get destroyed first!" Todd yelled as he narrowly dodged a spike thrown at him. "What the heck? This thing's got the X-Geek's powers too!" 

"Oh wonderful!" Lance said sarcastically as he watched several Cobras and other mutants being thrown telekinetically all over the place. "It's gotta be another stupid synthoid!" 

"Looks like the mother of all synthoids!" Althea shouted. 

"Mindbender you fool!" Cobra Commander snarled as he was dodging the eye beams. "It's supposed to attack only the mutants! Not us!" 

"Sorry Commander!" Mindbender groveled. "I'm having difficulties controlling it!" 

"No kidding!" Baroness said sarcastically as she fired at it. "The lasers have no effect!"

"The mutants don't seem to be having much luck as well," Destro observed.

"I have an idea," Althea said. "Xi you take the Scarlet Witch and call for back up! We're gonna need it! Toad and I are gonna overload the Pulsar Cannon!"

"We are?" Todd gulped. 

"Yes!" Althea said. "We also need you two to stop any Cobras or Magneto's goons from calling for reinforcements!"

"I know where their communications center is," Xi nodded. "It's a standard operating design." 

"But I can…" Wanda said. 

"Just trust me," Althea told her. "Go!" They managed to escape. "Avalanche, Blob, Quicksilver…cover us!"

"With what?" Fred asked. 

"Just do it!" Althea snapped. "Toad get me over there!" 

"You got it babe," Todd grabbed her and hopped through the melee. "Excuse me! Coming through! Watch it! Yikes!" 

"Well this is a complete disaster," Destro grumbled as the creature was firing on the Cobras. This was because now most of the mutants had decided to run away. 

"Well excuuuuuusssseeee me!" Mindbender snapped. "You try creating a super monster in a hurry sometime and see how easy it is!" 

"As much as I'd love to listen to your sophisticated repartee here," Cobra Commander snapped. "Might I remind you fools that we have a battle to win?"

"Well it least it drove off most of the mutants," Xamot muttered.

"Not all of them brother!" Tomax shouted. "Duck!" They dodged a huge metal beam that was thrown at them. 

"You idiots will all pay for this!" Magneto thundered. Then he found himself caught in a telekinetic grasp of the creature. He sent several metal objects at it. It blasted the metal objects with its laser eyes. 

"HEY TALL GRAY AND UGLY!" Althea shouted as she and Todd were by the cannon. "OVER HERE! COME AND GET US!"

With a roar the thing let go of Magneto and advanced towards them. "That's right! Come a little closer!" Althea waved. 

"Uh Porkchop," Todd gulped as he worked the controls of the cannon. "It's not doing nothing!" 

"Try this!" Althea handed Todd a rifle. 

"That'll work," Todd nodded before he fired at the cannon's controls. It started to overload. He dropped it and grabbed Althea. He barely hopped out of range before it exploded. The explosion destroyed the creature as well, splattering gray goop all over the place. 

"Bleach!" Cobra Commander grimaced. "And I just had this uniform dry cleaned!" 

"Commander I think we'd better leave now," Destro said as he saw Magneto try to remove the gunk from his cape. 

"Why?" Cobra Commander asked. That's when more metal objects flew around the room. "Uh…you have a point! Cobra retreat!" They ran out of what was left of the cannon room. 

"Okay," Todd gasped to the others who were covered in rubble and goop. "Are we still alive?"

"Not for long," Magneto growled. "You fools have ruined my plans for the last time!" 

"Some gratitude," Todd muttered as he hopped around dodging Magneto's attack. "We save his life and he wants to kill us!" 

Magneto used his powers to knock down Lance and Fred and finally Pietro. Then he took a metal beam and viciously thwacked Todd so hard it knocked him unconscious. He fell through a large hole in the floor. 

"TODD!" Althea shouted. She saw he had landed unconscious on a ledge below. "You'll pay for that Slimeball!"

"Althea no!" Pietro shouted as he watched as she attacked him.

Although Althea got in a few kicks Magneto was able to use his powers to knock her down. He grabbed her by the throat and started to strangle her. "You ill bred piece of trash!" He snarled. "You take after that mongrel of a father of yours. When I'm finished here the first thing I am going to do is tear apart that precious Pit of yours and kill every single Joe I can find! Starting with your father!" 

"N…no!" Althea gasped for breath as she clawed at him. But she couldn't escape and passed out. 

That's when Magneto heard it. It was a sound unlike anything he had ever heard before. It was a cross between a banshee's scream and the roar of a dragon. As he turned his head to see what was happening, he barely had time to shield his face before the blast of fire hit him. 


	98. The Sleeper Awakens

**The Sleeper Awakens**

Magneto let out a scream of agony as the flames singed his body. He could not completely dodge it. He dropped Althea to the ground. He released his cape that had caught on fire and glared to see who had dared attack him. 

That was when he saw him. A huge man with glowing gold eyes hovered above him. He had reddish brown hair, pale skin, black armor and a pair of gigantic dragon-like wings sprouting from his back. "Who are you?" Magneto snapped. "Another one of Cobra's creations?"

He responded by shooting a blast of fire from his mouth straight at Magneto. Magneto dodged it and started his familiar routine of sending metal objects at his attacker. However the creature easily dodged them and attacked Magneto head on, pummeling at him with his fists. 

Down below on the ground Pietro was the first one to shake off Magneto's attack. He raced to Althea's side and breathed a sigh of relief. "She's still breathing," Pietro told Lance who was now wobbling towards him. "She didn't get burned or anything. She's out cold but I think she'll be okay." 

"I don't know who this guy is," Fred said as he made his way towards them. "But I'm glad he's on our side." They watched the fierce battle where it was very clear Magneto was losing. "Boy he's really getting his butt kicked!" 

"Oh man," Lance gulped. "Take a closer look at his face…doesn't it look a little…familiar?" 

"It can't be…" Pietro gulped. "Can it?" 

"What?" Fred asked. "What are you talking about? Who is he?" 

"Freddy," Lance gulped. "Take a look down that hole Toad fell in. Is he still there?"

Fred made his way over. He looked down. "I don't see him! Where is…? Oh," He looked up. "Okay it's official, my life has now just become very weird." He winced as he saw the creature blow another blast of fire at Magneto. "Very…very weird…" 

Outside the room several Cobra squads readied their rifles. "What's going on in there?" Zartan asked. 

"Why don't you go in and take a look?" The Baroness quipped.

The sound of something big and heavy breaking caused Zartan to shudder. "No…I think it's best if we all wait out here!" 

"Good plan," Cobra Commander nodded. "Let them fight it out, and whoever wins we kill." 

"Unless we kill you," Wanda appeared and used her powers to cause their weapons to explode. Xi attacked several guards as well. 

"Isn't anything going right today?" Cobra Commander moaned.

"Sir!" A trooper shouted. "We have reports that a squadron of GI Joe and an unidentified jet are on our doorstep!" 

"Oh goody…" Destro said. "Reinforcements!" 

"_COBRA RETREAT! RETREAT!" _Cobra Commander shrieked. 

"Let's get out of here!" The Baroness shouted. The Cobras ran for the hills to fight another day.

"Now you understand why Wavedancer wanted us to call for help," Xi told Wanda.

"Yeah she must have figured these snakes would pull something like this!" Wanda shouted. "Let's make sure they don't, shall we?"

"My pleasure!" Xi kicked a Cobra soldier out cold.

Back inside Magneto was now writhing on the floor in pain. "Who…are…you?" He gasped. 

The creature did not answer him but prepared for another fire blast. Suddenly Cortez and a woman they had never seen before appeared. "Not today beast!" Cortez shouted. "Get us out of here!" He grabbed Magneto and the woman teleported them away.

"They got a teleporter!" Lance snapped. 

"So? Look at what we got?" Pietro pointed. The creature let out a roar of anger and did a circle around the room before landing before them. 

"Toad?" Lance gasped as the winged creature landed before them. "Is that you?"

The being gave Lance an interesting look. "I am part of Toad, just as he is a part of me now," He explained in a booming voice. "I am the one who sleeps inside, waiting for my time to awaken. You may call me…Tetsukaeru."

"Sleeping?" Fred asked.

"I am not yet supposed to awaken," Tetsukaeru explained. "It is not my time."

"But you're…here…now?" Pietro blinked.

"Yes," He nodded. "It was the little one's desire to save his friends and her desire to save her family which awakened me," He gently traced a finger on Althea's cheek. "Their bond is what gives me strength. I cannot be without either one of them."

"Uh huh…" Lance nodded numbly. "So are you…stuck like that or not?" 

"I cannot stay long. I must return to my slumber and wait for the day when I can be awakened and fully joined with the little one. To remain here would upset the balance of the world."

"O-kay," Fred gulped, still not fully understanding this. "Is Toad gonna remember all this or not?"

"No," Tetsukaeru shook his head. "Although I am aware of him, he is not yet aware of me. I sleep in the darkest corners of his mind away from the conscious and subconscious. In a place where not even dreams may enter. Take care of both of them. Until we meet again." 

Then Tetsukaeru was bathed in a golden light. When it subsided, Todd had taken his place. He was sound asleep.

"Okay did anybody get confused by that or was it just me?" Fred asked.

"Things have just gotten weirder around here," Lance moaned. "Okay, nobody mention this to anybody except the adults! Got it?" 

"Are you kidding?" Pietro asked. "If we did nobody would believe us! Hell I saw it and I still don't believe this!" 

Just then Wanda and Xi ran in. "The Joes and the X-Men are here!"

"That fast?" Lance asked. 

"They were already on their way when we called," Xi explained. "Are they…?"

"They're just taking a nap," Fred waved. "They've had a busy day." 

"YO…Joe?" Hawk ran in with several Joes with the X-Men. He looked at all the damage around him. "What the…?" 

"What took you so long?" Pietro asked. 

"Traffic was murder," Shipwreck said. "I see you guys kept busy." He saw that Todd and Althea were unconscious. "Althea! Todd!" He ran over to check on them. 

"They're fine," Fred said. "They're just out cold."

"What happened?" Scott looked around and saw the damage. "Did you do this?"

"Well," Pietro pretended to think. "We trashed Cobra's base, destroyed the Pulsar Cannon, stopped Magneto and fought off a synthoid monster. Yeah I'd say we were pretty much responsible for most of the damage." 

"Well it sounds like you guys had fun," Bobby sighed. "And we missed all the good stuff!" 

"You don't know the half of it kid," Lance grumbled. 

**It's almost here…the earth-shattering conclusion! Well maybe not earth shattering, but there are a few surprises! **


	99. One More Loose End To Tie Up

**One More Loose End to Tie Up**

Colonel Eddington walked into his apartment and found General Bragg inside. "Eddington you have to help me!" Bragg said. "I've been set up!" 

"Really?" Eddington raised an eyebrow.

"Somehow someone sent me to this Cobra base!" Bragg told him. "They made it look like I was in league with Cobra!"

"But you were in league with Cobra," Eddington pointed out. "The documents I sent the Joes proved that."

"WHAT?" Bragg gasped. "You stupid fool! Why did you do that?"

"I thought it was obvious even to you Bragg," Eddington sighed as he pointed his pistol at him. "I'm the one who set you up. Apparently I was wrong to overestimate you." 

"You? Why?" Bragg cried in disbelief. 

"To take over your operation of course," Eddington explained. 

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I PROMOTED YOU! I GOT YOU WHERE YOU ARE!" 

"You are without a doubt the most selfish idiot I have ever met," Eddington said calmly. "You have all this information and power and you waste it with fools like Cobra. The problem with you is that you just got too greedy. Well that and you are a complete moron. The Inner Circle however is another story. I'll just put that up to dumb luck."

"But they're stinking mutants!" Bragg shouted. 

"You didn't seem to mind that when they offered you some profit. True mutants can be a great danger," Eddington said. "Or they can be very powerful allies. It's just a trick of finding and controlling the right mutants." 

"You'll never get away with this you backstabbing twerp!" Bragg shouted. 

"And who will believe you? A traitor who's willing to sell out his country? To mutants no less?" Eddington smiled. "Presuming that you are still alive by that time, which I seriously doubt." 

"You're going to kill me?" Bragg gasped.

"You broke into my apartment in order to get revenge on me," Eddington told him. "You tried to surprise me, but I got the drop on you. You will be forgotten as an embarrassment as quickly as possible. I of course will get a promotion for all my hard work and saving the country from a traitor." Eddington readied his weapon. "Of course a few bribes will help as well. Thank you very much for allowing me to have access to your personal files. It was child's play to transfer your bank account funds into my own." 

"Colonel Eddington you lousy stinking…" Bragg sputtered. 

"That's General Eddington to you," Eddington said calmly as he shot him. 


	100. This Is Definitely Not Goodbye

**This is Definitely Not Goodbye**

Somewhere in a hidden fortress, Magneto lay in a hospital bed resting. "My lord you must let me heal you some more!" Cortez begged.

"Later," Magneto sighed. "I'm too tired now." His arms were burned and one was broken. Nearly his entire body was covered in bandages. Despite Cortez's treatments he was still badly injured. 

"It will still be a while before you are able to leave, even after Cortez's treatments," The mutant doctor told him. "I'm afraid you will have to stay in bed for a long while." 

"Perhaps it is for the best. I need to think and plan my next move. There are things that puzzle me," Magneto frowned. "Who was that mutant that attacked me?"

"We do not know my lord," Cortez said. "Perhaps he was the one called Low Light in another form?"

"It's possible," Magneto thought. "Or maybe it's another player to the game. I will find that…creature that did this. That I promise." 

************************************************************************

Back at the Pit, the Misfits and the X-Men were saying their good-byes. Well some of them were.

"Now you'll e-mail me?" Kitty asked Lance. 

"Of course I will," Lance said. "Every chance I get."

"Oh brother," Scott grumbled. "Just when I think she's finally come to her senses…"

"And what's **that **supposed to mean?" Lance glared. 

"You know very well what it means!" Scott snapped. 

"Here we go," Todd rolled his eyes. 

"Not again," Kurt sighed. "Lockheed! Stop pulling on my tail!" 

"You're just sore because we kicked Magneto's butt and you didn't!" Lance snapped.

"That I find hard to believe," Scott snapped. "I still think there's something you're not telling us!" 

"Wouldn't be the first time," Bobby said. "Like about what happened with him and Willow!"

"Who's Willow?" Scott asked.

"You know about that?" Lance yelped.

"Kurt told me," He shrugged.

"I'd almost forgotten about that," Kitty said in an angry voice.

"Who is she?" Jean asked.

"Lance's other girlfriend," Ray told her.

"She wasn't exactly my girlfriend!" Lance protested. "Well sort of…"

"Yeah he just had a fling with her," Todd shrugged.

"Whose side are you on Toad?" Lance shouted. 

"I told you that's how guys like him operate!" Scott shouted.

"That's not what happened!" Lance shouted.

"Yeah actually it was more like the other way around," Pietro spoke up. "She dumped him!"

"She did not dump me!" Lance shouted. 

"So what did happen?" Scott asked. 

"None of your damn business!" Lance snapped. 

"Hey, when Kitty's involved, I'm making it my business!" Peter got in his face. 

"Bring it on Tin Man!" Lance snarled. "You wanna fight? I'll give you something to…"

"STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" Kitty shouted and stomped her foot. "Lance you can be such a jerk sometimes!"

"Me? They started it!" Lance said. 

"Lance I do not want to talk about this anymore!" Kitty walked away from him in a huff. "Why do I even bother?"

"Kitty!" Lance whined.

"Come on Kitty," Peter sided up to her. "Let's go home!" He gave Lance an evil grin. 

"This isn't over Russkie!" Lance raised his fist and shook it. "Not by a long shot!" 

"Forget it Lance they're going," Pietro waved. Lance took off after them anyway. 

"And not a moment too soon," Rogue grumbled.

"What's the matter sis?" Pietro quipped. "Aren't you gonna miss your big brother and sister?" 

"Like I'd miss a hole in my head!" She snapped.

"Don't you already have one of those?" Wanda snickered. 

"You really don't want to mess with me!" Rogue snapped.

"Wanna bet?" Wanda got in her face. 

"Wanda will you knock it off?" Amara snapped.

"Why don't you tell her to knock it off?" Xi asked.

"Shut up snake breath!" Ray snapped. Then he saw the look on Xi's face. "Uh oh…"

"Yeah uh oh," Althea growled. "It's on now!"

Just then Roadblock and Shipwreck walked around the corner with Xavier, Logan and Hank. "You sure you don't have time for a drink?" Shipwreck asked the adult X-Men.

"Nah I think we'd better get the kids back home before…" Logan started to say. Then he saw the Misfits and the X-Men fighting each other. "The kids get into another fight." 

"Oh look there goes another wall," Hank sighed. 

Ironically the only two not fighting were Todd and Kurt. They were watching all the action from a distance. "Do you really want to get involved in this?" Todd asked. "I mean I'm not exactly up to it. I'm still a little sore from fighting Magneto yo." 

"Yah, I'm not in the mood either," Kurt waved. "How did you guys beat Magneto anyway?" 

"I didn't see what happened but Lance told me a huge rock fell on him before his peeps got him to safety," Todd shrugged.

"Oh," Kurt sighed as he watched them fight. 

"Hey, five will get you ten my guys beat your guys!" Todd said.

"You're on!" Kurt nodded. "Come on X-Men! Kick their butts!"

"Bite them!" Todd hopped up and down. "Bite them!" 

"Oh lord," Roadblock held his head in his hands. 

"You **sure **you don't want that drink?" Shipwreck asked. 

"Maybe just one for the road," Xavier sighed.

************************************************************************

"Well so much for improving relations with the X-Men," Hawk sighed as he looked over the Misfits. They looked a bit dirty and scuffed from their battle but there were not serious injuries.

"They started it," Lance muttered.

"I don't care!" Hawk groaned. "On the plus side the powers up above have gotten my report on your latest adventure. They're very pleased with the results."

"Yeah but Magneto got away again," Wanda said.

"We'll get him next time," Roadblock told her. "But you kids have come a long way since you first got here. We're proud of you."

"That means you kids will be on more missions in the future. In addition we'll be looking for new recruits to join our unit," Hawk told them. "Although I had hoped Xavier would give us a hand with Cerebro it looks like that's not gonna happen. He's still not exactly thrilled with this idea."

"You mean he's not exactly thrilled with us," Althea pointed out. 

"But how are we gonna get new people then?" Fred asked. 

"It looks like we're gonna have to do it the old fashioned way I guess," Shipwreck shrugged. "Just keep our eyes and ears open and look around." 

"So we'll be competing with the X-Geeks for new recruits," Pietro said. 

"Not only that," Althea said. "But when and if we get revealed to the world we'll be competing with them for the spotlight as well. I mean so far they're the only team of mutants known in the world. " 

"I never thought of that," Todd scratched his head. 

"In other words nothing much has changed," Wanda said. "Except now that Lance has a new rival for Kitty's affections." 

"Hey!" Lance snapped. 

"Yes so in the future…" Hawk started to say when all of the sudden the intercom switch went on. 

"Attention everyone!" Daria shouted. "Now we will be reading the first installment of our exciting new series: The Diary of Wavedancer! Chapter one: My first day with Toad…I never thought a kiss could be so sweet…"

"Oh god!" Todd groaned.

"**_DARIA YOU ARE A DEAD GIRL!" _**Althea shot out of her seat. **_"YOU HEAR ME! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD!" _**

"I want a piece of 'em too!" Todd followed her. 

"Also we will be reading Diary of a Quicksilver," Brittany's voice piped up. "In this chapter Quicksilver tells us how he once dressed up a pig in his sister's clothes and stole some of Blob's cookies!"

"WHAT?" Wanda growled at Pietro.

"YOU TOOK MY COOKIES?" Fred shouted. "WHEN WAS THIS?"

"YOU THREE MANIACS ARE IN SUCH TROUBLE!" Pietro sped off.

"They're not the only ones!" Wanda shouted. "Come back here Pietro!"

"NOBODY EATS MY COOKIES AND LIVES!" Fred bellowed.

Xi and Lance casually followed them while the adults groaned and started passing out the scotch. The saw all the other Misfits running around and fighting. "Well might as well join them," Xi shrugged and went to join the fight. 

"It's good to be home," Lance smiled as he watched the chaos around him. "Hey! Wait for me!" 

**Well that may be the end of The Misfit Chronicles but not the end of the adventures with the Misfits! Thanks to everyone who reviewed and made this possible! **

Keep a look out for more Misfits adventures in the New Year! And there will be new recruits. Who are they you ask? That's for me to know and you to find out! He he! Plus there will be a few other story lines from this alternate universe popping up now and then. (I haven't decided yet if the whole Apocalypse thing happens before Ronin Toad or write a different take on it. Depends what they do in the cartoon. That may or may not be a possible story line. Probably not unless they really screw up the story in the cartoon.) 

**Characters who are mine:**

Althea 'Wavedancer' Delgato

Brittany, Quinn, and Daria Delgato-Trinity

Claudius Delgato

Xi

General Bragg (Although he's not much good now!) 

General Whithalf

The Coyote

The Eloi-Mole, Hound Dog, Willow, Thorn and all the others!

The Mutants at the Double Helix Ranch

Colonel Eddington (Probably General Eddington next time we see him!) 

General Manx

Ramrod and Ramfist

Sgt. Snuffles

Tetsukaeru

Everyone else belongs to someone else! Hope you enjoyed it half as much as I enjoyed writing it! Just push that nice little review button and tell me what you thought of it. Keep on the lookout for more stories, deleted scenes and whatnot in the New Year! 

Not Really The End

Red Witch


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